#food battle 2023 spoilers
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Who put this here bro 💀💀💀
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Look, all I'm saying is, if people on the Internet ship you and your best friend, there is:
- the amount of time you should spend acknowledging it (absolutely none, so you don't encourage them)
- the amount of time that's normal to acknowledge it (the occasional joke, maybe a video or two)
- the amount of time where you've decided "fuck it, if people are going to do this, let's milk it for content" (many jokes, multiple videos)
- the amount of time where you're beating a dead horse and have overestimated how funny it actually is
- the amount of time where clearly either the shippers really bother you or you actually do have those feelings but either way you're not going to admit it
- like two more levels beyond that
- the amount you'd talk about your relationship if you were actually publicly dating
- where Ian and Anthony are right now
And I thought this BEFORE I saw Food Battle 2023. They've got to be planning something, right? This is all leading up to some sketch about it, or a dramatic make-out scene at Anthony's inevitable funeral roast, or maybe whatever the hell the video is that they wanted people to send in fanfic for is something way beyond just a normal Smosh Pit Theater episode. But there is no way they're going this far with it if they're not building up to something.
I'm not saying I'm not enjoying it. I was wondering how on earth they were going to go even more absurd than the previous food battles and that was a brilliant way to do it. But they know what they're doing and this is more than just a recurring meta bit at this point.
And this is coming from someone who doesn't even see what happens behind the paywall! God knows all the stuff that happens that I don't see reposted to tumblr!
#food battle 2023 spoilers#smosh#smoshblr#ianthony#ian hecox#anthony padilla#food battle#food battle 2023
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Shower thoughts: Food Battle 2023
Spoilers!
Do you think Ian ver got actually pegged by his fake wife in bed?
...with a strap on?
Like, you know....it was Anthony all this time, right? Commiting to the bit?
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Napoleon (2023) Review
I know many of you have posted your own reviews and what I'm going to talk about will cover most of what people have said but I wanna give my own perspective on the movie. As you know spoilers will be said, so if yall still haven't watch the movie go before reading.
Alright first, I would like to say the movie overall wasn't that bad nor it wasn't great. Some battle scenes were a bit confusing, Borodino was the one which I got the most confused because of how quick the scene was. One moment I was watching soldiers fight and then it was done, which I guess they wanted to get to the part of Napoleon arriving at Moscow but I digress.
During the Seige of Toulon, I was a bit confused with Napoleon's reaction throughout the whole battle. He was hyperventilating and panicking which seemed strange to me since he was always calm and collected during stressful situations, especially this battle since it was his 'debut' and was an important plan in getting Toulon back in French hands. I understand him being a little bit nervous, but he had to stay calm for the soldier's sake.
Now, lets talk about Napoleon and Josephine's relationship, oh boy, it was a mess. I did like how Naps acted a bit awkward during their first meeting since he was pretty shy and weird around the ladies in real life, but after that the whole relationship seemed too toxic than what it really was. Like the scene where Josephine returned to the chateau after Naps came back from Egypt and him yelling at her and basically telling her she was a slut, him threatening divorce because she couldn't get pregnant at the beginning of their marriage, or when Naps got angry at Josephine yet again and threw food at her, or him slapping Josephine during the divorce scene. I literally let out a gasp when that happened. That whole representation of their relationship was a freaking mess, and don't even get me started with the sex scenes! They were so weird and Naps making animals noises before doing it didn't make it better. I think the worst for me was when Naps called Josephine "little one" like don't start with that kinky shit smh. Also the part where Alexander went to visit Josephine at Malmaison was not necessary, they did develop a friendship but it was nothing more than that.
Besides all the negative things I did like a few things about the movie. For starters Napoleon's first interaction with Josephine, that was a nice touch. The lamb chop scene was hilarious and everyone including me laughed at the scene. Naps falling down the stairs after almost getting killed by the Directory and saying "oh fuck" under his breath while standing up was funny. Even the scene afterwards where Naps and Lucien were struggling to get out and keep everyone inside was funny. His facial expression he made while trying to regain himself had me dying.
What caught me by suprise was Junot being in the movie because correct me if I'm wrong but no other movie had Junot included in it, so when Naps first yelled "Junot" during the Seige of Toulon I was like 'huh? Junot? Like Jean Andoche Junot?? THE JUNOT?? I can't believe what I'm hearing!" and sure enough Junot was in the movie! Even though it was only for like 30 minutes but him being in the movie made me so happy because he is never mentioned in any form of media.
Overall it wasn't as bad as I expected. I still wished they would've added other marshals like Murat and Lannes, but I do appreciate them adding Davout since he is also someone who doesn't get mentioned in movies a lot, so props to you Scott (I guess). I did get over the historical inaccuracies pretty quick, but Wellington and Naps meeting did rub me the wrong way knowing that they never met each other in real life. Also, Ney with a moustache...why??
So that's all I wanted to say about the movie. Sorry if this was a longer post, but I wanted to write down everything before I forget. Thank you for reading!
#there was guy snoring behind us which ruined almost half of the movie#we got churros afterwards tho#napoleonic era#napoleon bonaparte#french history#napoleonic wars#napoleon 2023#ridley scott#joaquin phoenix#movie review#josephine de beauharnais#a mimir
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The Last Kingdom
(2015 - 2023)
Uhtred (Alexander Dreymon)
Whump list
1x01 crying, grief
1x02 manhandled, put in a hanging cage
1x03 still imprisoned
1x04 traded as a hostage
1x05 in a fight, exhausted, publicly humiliated,
1x06 manhandled,
1x07 forced to fight against a friend (trigger warning/ spoiler*)
1x08 loss of a loved one (trigger warning/ spoiler**), grief, crying,
2x02 attacked, manhandled, beaten, sold into slavery, caged, hands tied behind back
2x03 slave on a trade ship, shackled, caught in a storm, exhausted, getting whipped while protecting his friend, freezing, shivering, loss of a friend, grief, crying, in shock, whipped again, catatonic, rescued, worried friends, hugged, crying, malnourished, weak, doesn't want to be touched, whipping scars revealed, wounds tended to, ashamed, coerced into the service of the king again,
2x04 still a bit on edge, backing away from others, in a fight, beaten, bruises, hurt shoulder, hugging and comforting Ragnar, finding their long-lost sister, both crying
2x08 run over by a horse, knocked out, dizzy, bleeding from the mouth,
3x01 death of a loved one, crying, grief
3x02 hit in the shoulder with a spear, on the run, weak, vomiting, falling from horse, fever, hallucinations, cared for, worried friends,
3x03 still hallucinating,
3x04 in a fight, bleeding, cast out by his brother,
3x05 death of a loved one, grief, tears
3x06 in a big battle, knocked down briefly
Osferth: knocked out, wounded, grief, crying
3x09 very moving scene between Uhtred and King Alfred, on the verge of tears, imprisoned
3x10 crying, comfort, grief
Aldhelm: stabbed in the stomach, bleeding, wound treated
4x02 Young Uhtred: beaten, manhandled, crying
4x03 all: shipwrecked,
Finan: vomiting,
Osferth: broken arm, arm in a sling
Uthred: witnesses the death of a loved one, shipwrecked, shivering, freezing, grief, depressed, on the verge of giving up, worried friends, crying, hugged, comfort
4x04 in a fight, choked
Aethelred: falling, hitting his head on a stone, bloody wound
4x05 Aethelred: carried, bloody wound, bandaged head, sweating, dying, killed
4x06 Brida: captured, collared, on a chain, thrown into a pitlike cell
4x07 Brida: still in a cell, deprived of food and water, humiliated,
Uhtred: captured, manhandled, in chains, shirtless, tortured, beaten up, put in a cell, in pain, bloody, bruised, tired, worried friend,
4x09 Uhtred, Finan, Sihtric, Osferth and Pyrlig: captured, hanged upside down on a tree, slowly getting weaker, nearly passed out, rescued
4x10 giving himself up as a hostage, stabbed in the side, field medicine
5x03 fight, blood, cut to the forehead, grief
Brida: grief, crying
5x06 forced to kill a friend, grief
5x07 loss of a loved one, grief, crying
5x09 Finan: nearly falling down a cliff, manhandled,
Uthred: in a fight, crying
5x10 crying
Seven Kings must die:
Uhtred: knocked down, bleeding, stabbed in the side, passed out, worried friends, briefly cared for, weak, fate undecided
Finan: loss of a loved one,crying
*trigger warning: on-screen rape scene after the danes attack Winchester
** Uhtred finds out that his baby had died. He digs out the body and you can briefly see a small part of the face. The rest ist covered by a blanket. The scene is hard to watch.
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I didn't see! But episodes 7 and 8 got uploaded! YES!! Time for some more notes!
⚠️ Total Drama Reboot Season 2 Spoilers Below ⚠️
Episode 7
Damn, Priya has some muscle to catch Caleb.
Why did Zee sound different? Am I going crazy? Also, why was he watching them?
I'm... I'm sorry? JULIA, MK, your gay. Is. Showing! Holy fuck.
Damien teaching a squirrel how to finger gun.
YES, DAMIEN FOUND THE IDOL.
Chris did not hesitate to traumatize the campers. Fake killing his husband? No.
Why did they bring back the "is it real or is it cake" thing? I thought that trend ended years ago.
Look, I understand we need more interactions from the campers, but I always hated when the teacher would pick who we would work with.
Julia and MK just... they won't stop flirting.
Ah, so we have Zeemien and Priyaleb as a team. Perfect! (This is not sarcasm. I actually quite like it.)
So, for Chris to choose the teams, that just means that he's picking all the characters that have already interacted? That's pretty fucking lame. We needed some new interactions. I'm assuming that they did this just because there would've been practically nothing to work off of, though.
Wait, so when did Wayne and Raj figure out that Julia was behind Bowie's elimination? Did I miss something?
I like how Raj and Wayne just immediately accepted that Julia was just a part of their team and then immediately started torturing her by ping pong-ing her between their chests. Their dynamic is everything.
YOOOO OWEN!!
I'm so glad to see him, but he really should've gotten a different design. Also, I thought that these were two separate realities?
Oh, who fucking cares? IT'S OWEN!
I'm so happy to see Priya's knowledge on the show get used again, but why would she have studied Owen's moves in particular? Maybe she means his personality? Like, they're both pretty friendly. He was kind of a dumbass, though, as evident by the next scene.
Dawg, it's obviously cake. You of all characters would be the first to figure that out.
Owen's voice sounds kind of different. Like... it sounds younger. Did he change VAs? I'm going crazy, aren't I?
Ripper doggy paddling.
Both Wayne and Raj do not hesitate to beat up other contestants. Wayne might not understand what a battle cry is, but he charged at Priya and smacked her pretty good. Raj's kick could have probably broken MK's jaw if he had kicked just a tiny bit harder.
Holy shit, Damien could've killed Wayne had he not aimed correctly. He didn't even seem hesitant, either. That was a trident, dude!
Oh my god... a "This is Sparta" reference in 2023?
Julia kicking Raj and Wayne off the boat because of their dumbassery.
Damn, raw ingredients?
Raj and Wayne
Poor Chef.
"Very good, Owen; that IS the sound a doggy makes!" LMAO
THE FUCKING HANDPRINTS ON AXEL AND RIPPER.
Raj and Wayne... is it gonna be another double elimination with these two? They're basically asking to get voted off at this point, my god.
Yeah. I like Wayne and Raj. But yell at them, Julia!
Owen listening to the confessionals.
Chef showing his cooking knowledge. Look, he might make disgusting food, but he still knows something about cooking.
I like how MK and Julia are both suffering on separate teams, especially after that fruity ass scene at the beginning of the episode.
Wayne apparently knowing something about chickens. Interesting!
More bird trauma for the hockey bros.
The sad way Julia said MK when she sicked Owen on her.
Poor Raj and Wayne.
Axel, Ripper, wtf
PRIYA, WTF
Chef was so excited to help MK, and then he doesn't even help.
Actually, I hope Axel and Ripper are the double elimination. This is disturbing.
I'm sorry, MK did WHAT to fix her brother's posture? That was a fucking STICK in a CAKE.
Julia is such a kiss ass.
Caleb being smart.
"I don't know which Chris to eat!"
Damn, Damien is good at cake sculpting. He's still a kiss ass, but considering he's probably never sculpted a cake before...
MK foreshadowing killing Chris.
Owen taking cake Chef home with him... it's just canon.
"I biffed it good today." "Well, as long as you know."
Wait, Axel got eliminated? Not Ripper? After the whole sweat thing.
No, Axel and Ripper break up? Ripper sounded so fucking genuinely upset.
WAIT THEY ACTUALLY GOT DOUBLE ELIMINATED? Awesome?
Episode 8
Poor Damien. So desparate to keep the idol.
Caleb... running his fingers through her.
MK, why were you looking for Julia all morning? And why do you look so sad to think that Julia might be avoiding you?
What the hell, Zee? I want the girlfriends to talk, and you're back there eating your pants. :(
Zee, you really did say too much. MK and Julia are going to destroy you, and then the rest of the camp.
What the hell? Julia and MK trying to scare the secret out of him.
"Zee, I need to tell you something." "Please don't." "It's about Caleb!" "No, I don't wanna know-" The delivery from Zee, LMAO
Priya is so cute. But Zee is clearly struggling, girl. Poor Zee.
Zee, at least grab another pair of pants to put on your ass.
THE IZZY CUT OUT RIGHT AFTER THE OWEN EPISODE.
Julia able to carry the giant coin, but MK not being able to. MK is so unathletic. I'm actually kinda glad to see that diversity.
Priya obsessively brushing her teeth just to prepare for a possible kiss from Caleb...
Wayne and Raj unintentionally making the game so much more difficult.
Caleb catching the rock to save Priya. The timing to move for the kiss was a little too quick, though. And then she gets crushed by rocks. If they treated this like Raj and Wayne's injuries from last season, she'd be going home with a concussion and casts, but I know they won't.
Zee, don't fall for Julia's fake concern!
The fucking glare he sent Julia after stuffing a squirrel in his mouth. He knew what she was trying to get out of him.
Raj, you would've heard him falling.
"Why does it feel like something terrible is about to happen?" "Yeah, Chris's face gives everyone that feeling." LMAO Caleb serving something here.
"That looks... not safe." Caleb, nothing in Total Drama is safe.
"Relax, rabbits are supposed to jump." "... not that high."
Raj, just put your coin in the slot. "If you want me to go ahead without you, say nothing!" Well... at least that was resolved lol
Wayne, where are you going? Also, surfer Wayne. Canon.
Caleb calling Priya his girl. Possessive? Yes. Is it still cute? Also yes.
Zee using a fucking tire to block his mouth.
Julia's fucking evil face when Zee ran past.
Raj landing on the table in front of Chef and Chris.
"Did I win?" "No! And where is Wayne?!" He sounded so genuinely concerned.
DAMIEN WITHOUT HIS HAT.
I really don't like the music that keeps getting played when Caleb and Priya are about to kiss. What happened to the original romance que from Total Drama Island? That was WAY better.
Duncan and Courtney posters? They're REALLY trying to bring the nostalgia back. "The OG power couple." Yeah, maybe in the first season. After that, they were the absolute worst. (I'm kind of a Duncney hater.)
Poor Damien. They're playing on his trauma with Scary Girl :(
"Would that be good or bad?" "It can be both! That's what makes this show so magical!" He knows.
Also, why would Chef allow Chris to add the jackhammer bit? That is obviously dangerous, and he wouldn't have allowed these campers to go through that last season...
"Thanks for the ride!" "Reeeeal fresh this week." I'm loving this episode.
MK's a gamer girl? Does that mean she'll be Julia's gamer girlfriend?
MK lunging forward to bit Caleb's calf... I'm sorry, who did you say was an animal, MK?
Poor Wayne.
The overdramatic kissing scene... ugh, I hate it.
Damien celebrating Priya and Caleb finally kissing. He wasn't paying attention that much throughout the season, nor has he really interacted with either of them, but he's still such a sweetheart.
Asexual MK?
NO, ZEE!
Zeemien break up.
ZEE SHUT THE FUCK UP. Okay, he's getting eliminated.
Wait, why is Raj a hockey bag sniffer? ... We just gonna skip by that? ... Okay...
Damien, you're the neat freak. What the hell.
Chris, Chef... WHY ARE YOU TELLING SECRETS TO YOUR COMPETITORS. LMFAO
Why did anyone tell Zee their secrets? Most of them don't even hang out, nor would have told a soul those things. What?
CHRIS TRYING TO TAKE THE CAMERA FROM THE CAMERA MAN. Okay, that's fucking hilarious.
All of them glaring at Caleb. That's awesome.
Caleb, you ran after Priya. You had plenty of time to explain yourself, especially since it was still day, and the campfire doesn't happen until night.
AND THEY ALL HATE ZEE.
Julia, you're no better.
They put more marshmallows on the platter just to throw more at Priya.
Okay, at least Caleb is still here. At least for another episode. More drama.
Aight, that's it. I really hope the next episodes have fewer problems coming out next week.
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just finished wedding plan and I have a couple of thoughts/feelings/complex emotions I need to express here--spoilers ahead [and many thanks to @the-conversation-pod for their wonderful commentary that made me give it a chance--I owe this cathartic watch to you!]
as a queer person from a conservative society I thought wedding plan was so so so special. in that--it very deftly depicted the pressures of being inside the closet in a small community where word travels fast (also posing unique challenges for lesbians in more traditional societies, which is why yiwa's story and the few nuances around her beauty/perfect femininity as currency made me shed several tears on MULTIPLE counts). but what really sealed the deal for me was this show ultimately depicting queerness as a journey: an uphill battle for Lom that he ultimately wins not solely through romance but through the power of community.
from a writing standpoint, I was very taken with the contrast betwen Lom and Nuea, and how textual it is that Lom is attracted to Nuea first at Pai and Sky's wedding for his unrestrained enjoyment. Nuea enjoys food and his job, enjoys his sexuality, and is very openly queer. that is something Lom has never imagined possible for himself: he has, by contrast, a restrained white collar life with set rules and a single peek into his rebellious side in the form of wakeboarding. and so the way the story is set up, Nuea is not only Lom's love interest, but also almost an aspirational role model for Lom. as a closeted man, Lom learns that other possibilities for his life exist, that unconditional enjoyment is allowed, that there is now a network of people past Yiwa and Marine who will accept him with no strings attached.
my spidey senses tell me queer people have been thoroughly involved in the production and writing of this show because this has totally been my experience growing up closeted in a conservative country as well. I think the most hurtful thing was having no role models (either peers people older than you in the public eye) and just not knowing a different life is possible. I had the exact same experience as Yiwa and Lom where I only saw two men holding hands on the street for the first time visiting western Europe. like Lom, I only ever felt free to explore and understand my gender and sexuality once I immigrated as a young adult. like in Thai communities as depicted in the show, the surveillance is constant and so deeply internalized. it changes the conception you have of yourself. this story very much felt like two actual gay men learning from each other in a way i've only really seen depicted in very few QL shows--Lom learning how to be freer from Nuea, Nuea understanding how Lom and Yiwa navigate the difficult situation he never personally experienced.
overall I felt really seen by this show in a way i can't say i've felt about a lot of queer media i've watched this year and beyond. I loved loved loved that wedding plan gave us a true range of experiences and a set of queer people who went above and beyond to protect each other as a de facto family unit and really wish QL will continue depicting the complexity of queer lives in the same way. 10/10 recommended-- one of the best watches of 2023 for me. i cried a ridiculous amount of times
#wedding plan the series#bl.txt#GO BE GREAT IN YOUR LAVENDER#this is probably gonna be my only show aside from moonlight chicken and she makes my heart flutter I'm giving 10 on mdl this year
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You can call me Bones!
I am a queer adult over 20 and I use He/They pronouns. This is a side blog where I post Warrior Cats analysis and discussion, designs, and writing for WC-related projects.
Currently, I'm maintaining the Better Bones AU, a WC conlang called Clanmew, and my Clan Culture series. All of these are free to use, reference, or take inspiration from.
My side-sideblog is @bonebabbles, that's where I do most reblogs, live-read books (currently on Ratha's Creature!), and discuss other media (usually xenofiction). Consider that my 'spam blog' if you will!
Please read this entire post before sending an ask or tagging me.
You are never bothering me with "like spam" or "reblog spam!"
I LOVE seeing people talk in the tags and replies
I adore asks and I read all of them! I can't promise to get to every single one though, please check out my Ask Etiquette
"Can I use Clan Culture in my project?" Yes. Please read this entire post.
Do not ping me for my AU on other people's posts. If you want to know how I will handle something, send an ask.
ASKBOX STATUS: CLOSED
(Doing some cleaning out!)
Better Bones AU, also called BB or BB!AU
My most comprehensive passion project is the Better Bones AU, a revamp of Warrior Cats that aims to:
Fix the tangled family tree and give it clearer rules, expanding on kinship between cats while not neglecting friendships
Make the environment accurate to northwestern England, including education on how different biomes are managed and lists of local flora and fauna
Build out Clan culture by giving the Clans tool use and food preparation, additional traditions and customs, their own language, and medicinal treatment guides from sniffles up to HRT.
Change the themes of canon by addressing (not removing) its problematic elements, giving the cats consistent politics and making the narrative conclusively anti-authoritarian.
Be cool as fuck, with wilder deaths, more clanborn villains, bloodier battles, and even MORE complicated innerClan drama
HERE IS ITS CONTENT WARNING LIST.
Its old name was #Bonefall Rewrite, but was changed as it became more divergent from canon.
Individual posts are tagged #Better Bones AU, and are sorted further by arc such as #BB!TPB, #BB!Po3, #BB!characterName, so on.
GO SEE ITS MASTERPOST OVER HERE
It even has a TVTropes Page that was created by @halogenwarrior
If you want to see or submit memes, you can hop over to @bb-fennelposting!
Clan Culture
Like I mentioned, I create extra culture for Clan cats and society (tagged #Clan Culture), with a whole bunch of guides that expand on canon-adjacent crafts, meals, medicines, and so on. Clanmew is part of the Clan Culture series.
Go check out the MASTER POST here!
These are free to use for YOUR projects, AUs, FanClans, etc.
YES even things unrelated to warrior cats. You can use it in your pathfinder campaign, rainworld project, etc.
Feel free to send suggestions or ask questions!
Other Things
Canon analysis and discussion
I also talk about the books and the general themes of Warriors! When I’m analyzing characters, themes, plots, or anything else about canon material, I tag it as #Warrior Cats Analysis.
When I discuss the newest books as they’re released, I tag it as #ASC Spoilers.
Fan Work
I've gotten fan art for some of the things I do! I collect it all OVER HERE. I try to contribute to this list as I receive it, and its last update was 2/28/2023
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In the garden
❧
PAIRING: Raditz/Reader
RATING: Teen and up
CONTENTS: AU-Fantasy, Royalty, Medieval, Romance, Fluff, Attempt at humor.
WARNINGS: A ship I'm not including in the content because I want it to be a surprise but also not everyone likes it so. yeah.
WORDCOUNT: 10090
Summary:
Raditz has interacted only a handful of times with you, the princess of this kingdom. And he does find you attractive and nice, which is hard to find in royalty. But he’s also positive Vegeta intends to marry you.
Notes:
This is made for Radship week 2023, day 5, with the prompts wedding, biting, and princess. I included references to all the prompts so I feel happy! I think Raditz might be a bit ooc, but it's an au... I'm allowed right?
This is a magical medieval setting AU, and I'm just sooooo fond of this. I'm so happy with this fic, and for once it's the first fic I write that doesn't have smut lmao, it's already long so I decided against it, and it's perfect like this to be honest.
There's a side pairing here that maybe not a lot of people will like but. I love them so. Tell me what tag applies to 'side pairing without spoiler' please lmao.
Raditz shifts from one foot to another, nervous, trying very hard not to pace as he stands in the garden, outside the castle, by himself. Apparently pacing isn’t something ‘ceremonious’ to do. His tail bristles inevitably, but luckily it’s hidden underneath the extravagant armor he’s currently wearing.
When the Saiyans returned from war against Frieza and his army, they were met with ovations from all different lands, royalty inviting them for balls and ceremonial parties that he frankly cared little about. The war against one of the biggest tyrants in the world was over, and that deserved celebration for sure, but he wasn’t made to meet Dukes and Lords or to act courtly. He isn’t so sure he can even speak formally.
Prince Vegeta has dragged him into this fancy ball, after all Raditz is one of his commanders, and a significant part in that final battle. But the Prince, and his brother Kakarot, are certainly the center of attention. Kakarot is even less of a ceremonial kind of guy than he is, but food would keep him entertained. Raditz isn’t as carefree. The King and his daughter are there, and that makes him a little nervous.
He has interacted only a handful of times with you, the princess of this kingdom. And he does find you attractive and nice, which is hard to find in royalty. But he’s also positive Vegeta intends to marry you. Not for something as ridiculous as love, but because it would give him even more power and would expand his dominion outside Saiyan territory. Saiyans belong to a small land after all, no matter how powerful they are. All because of Frieza; though that matter has been settled. Returning the Saiyans to their original glorious kingdom would take time. And that would begin with Vegeta’s marriage to you.
Even if Vegeta doesn’t have the intention of tying the knot, your royal status would suffice to keep Raditz away. He’s a Commander, a military rank, but still a commoner, and you’re a Princess, direct heir to the throne of your kingdom. He doesn’t know the rules, but he’s certain any kind of affair is not allowed.
Raditz sighs, uncomfortable wearing this fancy battle armor. He even had to tie his hair, apparently it isn’t fancy to have it flowing around.
It’s not like he’s in love or anything. He has hardly talked to you.
Reluctantly, he makes his way inside to the castle, knowing that the banquet is about to start.
*
Looking around the room, you quickly distinguish the Saiyans, or some of them, hanging around on the side, near the table where food is still being served. They’re known for their huge appetites, and watching them from afar, you confirm it. The Prince seems to be more delicate when it comes to eating, but not his subordinates. It amuses you more than you expect.
You make your way towards them, people around moving out of the way and bowing profoundly when they notice it’s you, the princess, walking by. Prince Vegeta notices you first, elbowing Kakarot in the ribs, signaling him to stop eating so he can turn to you and bow.
“There’s no need for that,” You quickly tell them, smiling when you notice Kakarot is splurting loudly. “Apologies for interrupting your meal.”
“It’s okay,” Kakarot musters in between quiet coughs.
“Food won’t be going anywhere, I know His Majesty wouldn’t allow it.” Vegeta adds, glaring at his companion from the side.
“That’s true, especially for you, the Saiyans who defeated Frieza.” You smile at Vegeta, and he smirks right back.
“How generous.”
Vegeta’s way of speech is conceited and arrogant, even when he isn’t being outright rude, and it truly amuses you. Almost no one speaks to you that way, and it’s refreshing finding someone who does. It’s obvious he behaves like that because he’s a Prince, and because he can snap someone’s neck if he wants to.
You look behind him. Raditz, his Commander, is standing on the far end of the table, talking to another bigger Saiyan. You want to talk to him, but you’re not exactly sure how to approach him.
Vegeta follows your eyes, and smirks knowingly.
“Raditz, Nappa.” He calls for them loudly enough, making them turn towards your direction. “Get over here now.”
They do as told, looking a little on the nervous side as they bow to you.
“I’ve been told your performance in that battle was impeccable,” You glance at them, including Kakarot, who’s still eating but facing you. “I’m impressed.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.” Nappa replies, bowing once more, and you still have to strain your neck a bit to meet his eyes with how tall he is.
“It’s in your routine to spar often, isn’t that correct? I would love to be able to watch sometime.”
“That won’t be an issue.” Vegeta says.
You glance at Raditz, standing next to Nappa, looking very stiff.
“Are you enjoying the banquet, Commander?” You ask him directly, and his eyes finally fix on you.
“I am, Your Highness, I most deeply appreciate your efforts in all this luxury.”
His speech sounds forced and incredibly over rehearsed. The few times in the past you have talked to him, he rarely sounded like that.
“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” You giggle lightly. “After all, you’re Prince Vegeta’s Commander, and you saved all seven kingdoms. All Saiyans did, of course.”
Raditz opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, seemingly deciding what to say to your request.
“I wouldn’t dare to disrespect you in any way, Your Highness.”
You pout.
“Do not mind him, Your Highness,” Nappa cuts in, obviously taking in your offer of informal speech around you. “He must not be drunk enough to speak normally, but give him a minute.”
Raditz snorts, and Nappa laughs at his expense. Vegeta notices that you’re stealing glances at his Commander, keeping his eyes on you before speaking.
“Your Highness, a word.”
Vegeta gestures to the door that leads to the garden, and you nod.
Walking ahead, you lead your way out towards the hall and onto the enormous garden adorning your palace. Stepping into it, your maid follows you closely behind until you gesture for her to stop. You trail behind Vegeta as he keeps walking ahead until he calls you by your name, without honorifics, to make you stop in your tracks.
“What is it, Vegeta?”
“It is not in my plans to marry anyone in the future.”
You blink.
“Alright… ?”
“I know your father intends for us to wed.”
“Yes, that’s what he expects, he mentioned that before.”
“I will not marry you.”
You stare at him for a second, a little confused. His expression remains stoic, not giving away any kind of thought.
“You won’t?”
“No. My idea of my kingdom going back to its original glory does not include marriage. I will not be sharing my throne with a consort.” He grins knowingly when you snort, amused at his words. “You do not wish to be married, either.”
“Maybe I don’t.”
“You do not wish to be married to me.”
Doubting whether or not to be explicitly rude, you settle with honesty, considering how the tone in the conversation is going.
“No offense, but… no.”
“None taken.” Vegeta eyes you up and down briefly, and his smirk grows wider. “My Commander is another story, however.”
“I do not know what you mean.” There’s a rush of blood traveling to your face, and you hope the darkness of the garden hides it well.
“Raditz is an idiot for not realizing how much you stare at him, and it’s irritating me.”
“Don’t call him that.” You scoff.
“What do you think about marrying him, then?”
You bite your lip. You have thought about it before, obviously. But you know very well that your father will not be happy with that kind of union.
“He would not become royalty, not even a prince consort.” Vegeta informs you. As if you don’t already know.
“I don’t care about that.”
“And if you two have children, they wouldn’t be royalty either.”
“I… I truly do not care.” Vegeta quirks an eyebrow at your response. “I really don’t… I even thought about giving up my title.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“All of this is pointless because it’s not like I talked to Raditz with any intention yet.”
“Yes, he’s not the only idiot.” Vegeta snorts when you glare at him. “Do not give up your title. I was going to offer you something different.”
“Oh?”
“Marry him. He may not be royalty, but his entire family is Elite in our kingdom. He has his own fief, and you can settle there if you so wish.”
You gape at him. Vegeta seems to have given this situation a lot of thought. More than you had.
“Wha-What do you-”
“What do you say? Do you wish for me to inform him of his engagement to the princess?” He asks you sarcastically, after a minute of silence.
“N-No! You can’t do that! What if he doesn’t want to marry?”
“I’ll force him.”
“Vegeta!”
He chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Feel free to pursue him then.”
“What do you get from all this? I can’t believe you’re doing this out of the goodness of your heart.”
“Of course not. I do not waste my time with sentimentality.”
“So?”
“I oppose getting married myself, but an union between my high rank soldiers and other royals benefits my kingdom. And I tolerate you enough to not be opposed to your union with my Commander.”
That’s the closest comment to a compliment you’ll ever get from Vegeta, and it makes you smile.
“That was almost a nice thing to say.”
“Hurry up and tie the knot with the idiot before he finds someone else.”
Vegeta turns around to walk back to the ball, and you stare at his back for a second, completely offended.
“Hold on!” You catch up to him and grab his forearm to stop him. “You’re not gonna tell him about any of this, are you?”
“Of course not.” He scoffs, shrugging off your hand. “You want to confess your feelings? Be my guest.”
With that, Vegeta walks off, leaving you a little confused, but also a little hopeful.
*
“Good afternoon, Commander.”
Raditz practically jumps from his seat when he hears your voice. He’s taking a break from sparring, and he was almost on the verge of dozing off when you caught him off guard.
“Your Highness.” He stands up at once, bowing exaggeratedly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was bothering you.”
“No, please! I shouldn’t-”
He shouldn’t what? Almost fall asleep in the garden? He isn’t good at formal speech, he doesn’t know what the right thing to say is in this situation. You smile sweetly at him, and that reassures him enough.
“May I sit with you?”
Raditz nods eagerly, and moves to the side to let you accommodate next to him. He catches sight of your maid standing several feet behind you. As a chaperone, obviously.
“How’s the spar going?”
“Good… We tend to go pretty rough on each other, even if it’s practice.” He comments when he notices you’re checking out the couple of bruises on his arms.
“Wouldn’t this be a good time to rest? You did a great campaign after all.”
“Yeah, I mean-” He clears his throat, starting his sentence again in a more appropriate tone. “Your Highness has nothing to worry about.”
“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” Your smile grows wider and you inch closer to him.
“But, it’s not-”
“I will be informal with you if you’re informal with me.”
Raditz stares at you, at your smile, and he finds it genuine. He hasn’t met many royals, but he’s not sure all of them are as honest in their ways as you are. At least from the few interactions he’s had with you.
“Alright, sounds good.” He smirks, his shoulders easing a little bit of the tension they were holding.
“Good.” You grin, meeting his eyes briefly. “So, I suppose all these bruises are a common occurrence?
“Pretty much. If we want to be better for a real battle, we gotta train like it’s a real battle.”
“Of course. Do you ever take breaks?”
“I’m taking one right now.”
“No,” You chuckle when he smiles teasingly. “I mean, days off? You deserve it.”
“We will once we’re back home for sure. We still have to celebrate with our people.”
“Oh… Do you know when you’re leaving?”
Raditz pays close attention to your expression, because he’s positive he feels some sadness in your tone.
“It’s not certain. In a month, at most.”
“I’ll try to make your stay as pleasant as possible until then.”
“Your Highness already makes everything pleasant.”
His words make his cheeks flush a little, and he clears his throat awkwardly, but your smile only grows wider at his words.
“I meant no disrespect…”
“Oh, please! Your words were sweet, I appreciate them.”
When you put your hand over his, Raditz feels like electricity traveling through his body, just by that simple gesture alone.
Is it okay to feel like this? After all, you’re supposed to marry Vegeta. It hasn’t been announced yet, but it’s going to be a matter of time. Why else were they staying in the palace if not for that? Raditz quickly moves his hand away.
“I apologize, Your Highness, I must return to my training.” He stands up to leave, noticing the look of confusion in your eyes. He pauses and turns to you with the intention of not being perceived as rude. “I will escort you back to the palace if you desire.”
“I want to watch your sparring matches, if that’s okay.” You stand up next to him, and even though you do not even reach his shoulder, your attitude makes up for your height.
“It’s going to be bloody, and it’s no place for a lady-”
“I think I can handle it.” You put your hands on your hips, determined.
You’re making it harder for him to resist your charms, even when you’re just talking to him; he knows he’s going to get sloppy during training if you’re there, watching. Raditz nods at last, and offers his arm for you to take. You accept it, putting your hand on his arm, smiling a little shyly as you make your way to the training grounds, the maid accompanying you from afar.
He should have known better, though, and he feels like an idiot after his first spar with Kakarot.
“Hey, Raditz, you okay?” Kakarot asks, trailing behind him, obviously worried.
“I’m fine.” Raditz spits.
He’s more angry with himself than with his brother. He insisted on sparring with Kakarot when he knows he’s just as strong as Vegeta, meaning he can kick his ass. He got a very ugly cut on his chest as a result, and while it hurts like hell, it will heal fast; he’s a Saiyan after all.
But the humiliation he feels because you watch him get his ass kicked, that will sting for far longer than that cut.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you that bad-”
“I know you didn’t, you idiot!” Raditz stops in his tracks and turns to his brother.
“Then why are you so angry?!”
“Because-!” Raditz is opening his mouth, considering his words, and wondering if he should tell his brother how he feels. Kakarot can not keep a secret to save his life, he’s too carefree.
“This isn’t about the sparring match, is it?” He asks. He can also be perceptive when he wants to be.
“I did not want to lose so stupidly when she was there.”
“Who?”
“The princess.” He murmurs.
“The princess?” Kakarot asks for confirmation, way too loud for Raditz’s taste.
“Keep your fucking voice down!”
“Oh!” His brother covers his mouth briefly, before speaking again in a lower tone. “Why the princess?”
“Because… Because she’s the princess. She must think I’m a fucking loser.”
“I don’t think she does, she seems nice everytime we talk.”
“Yeah, well, not after she saw my sloppy moves out there.”
“Why do you care so much? It’s not like we’re gonna see her often after this.”
Raditz falters. He knows why he cares, but explaining why is going to be difficult if he doesn’t want to give himself away. There’s a few seconds of silence as he tries to organize his thoughts, but Kakarot’s eyes are fixed on him, and his clueless expression soon turns into mischievous eyes and a knowing smile.
“You like her!”
“Shut up! Of course I don’t!”
“Why are you all red then?” Raditz punches Kakarot in the arm, making him cry out at the sudden violence. “Why’d you do that?!”
“Because you’re nosy and annoying.”
Raditz turns to leave, but Kakarot is still right behind him as they walk back to their rooms.
“Hey, wait! Do you really like her, then?”
“Of course I don’t!”
“Yeah, right.” He scoffs, looking at Raditz with a playful gaze. “I don’t understand why you’re so mad, it’s good to like someone, right?”
“You’re an idiot.” Raditz breathes in deeply, trying to control his own temper. “She’s going to marry Vegeta.”
“Huh?”
“What you heard.”
“But… he hasn’t said anything about that?”
“Yet. It’s only a matter of time.”
Kakarot scratches the back of his head, obviously confused.
“That can’t be true.”
“I know what I’m telling you, Kakarot. Why else are we staying in this palace for a month? He wants to marry her, for political reasons, obviously.”
Raditz can’t figure out his brother’s expression. He seems hurt but he doesn’t know why.
“I think you’re wrong…” He says quietly.
“Just wait and see.” Raditz tells him before walking away. Kakarot doesn’t follow him this time.
*
You see Raditz walking, or more like striding, down the great hall of the palace, and you sprint to him at once. Since he got injured earlier that day, you were worried, and you tried to look for him to see how he’s doing; you’re glad you saw him walking by. He notices you quickly, slowing down as you catch up to him.
“How are you doing, Commander?” You ask, a little out of breath. Trotting with heels and a gigantic dress must count as an exercise on its own.
“I’m fine,” Raditz eyes you with an amused smile on his lips. “How are you, Your Highness?”
“I’m out of shape, I know it must be hilarious,” You retort, rolling your eyes. “Try walking around in this enormous attire and we’ll see how you do.”
“You must know, Your Highness, that our battle armor weighs about 50 kg.” He chuckles when your mouth drops open. “So believe me, I know what it's like walking around in heavy clothes.”
“I had no idea…” You walk by his side through the long hall, repressing the urge to wrap your arm around his. “I only ever held a sword once, and it wasn’t as heavy as I thought it would be.”
“Every sword is different. Vegeta’s is probably the heaviest. But you didn’t run to me to talk about this, did you?”
“You got a very unpleasant injury earlier, are you alright?”
Raditz sighs loudly, and it makes you worry a little, and it doesn’t help that he looks uneasy and tense when you ask.
“I’m fine. We Saiyans heal a lot faster than normal people, this is nothing.”
“Have you gone to the infirmary?”
“I got a bandage, just so I don’t bleed through my clothes.”
“If there’s anything else you need, let me know, please.”
You cannot help putting your hand on his forearm, reassuringly squeezing him there. Touching Raditz, or any man, is frowned upon, especially because you’re alone with him. Then again, you are alone, so no one can judge you. The gesture only lasts a couple of seconds before you withdraw your hand. Touching is not a courting sign, but you want to convey your feelings towards him somehow. Especially now, when he’s injured.
He’s looking at you curiously for a second before offering you a small smile.
“There’s nothing to worry about, Your Highness.”
“I trust your word, Commander.”
Reaching the gardens, he stops by the stairs before turning to you.
“I had to get back, thank you for your concern.”
“Would you like it if I sent in more food to your residence?”
“That would be incredible, we’d be more than grateful.” He grins widely, and you return his smile.
“I’ll arrange for it at once!”
Raditz nods, still keeping the smile on his face, and bows, before leaving.
The Saiyans don’t always eat at the palace during their stay, unless the King invites them to join him. And you and the King don’t even eat together every time either, sometimes it’s just you, eating alone.
You wished you could have dinner with Raditz, at least once.
The customs about courtship are so stupid. A man has to make the first move? You cannot touch each other until there’s an official engagement? It’s not like you wanted to have intimate relations five minutes after meeting him (though somewhere in another lifetime, you probably would have). He isn’t going to pursue you because he’s a commoner and you’re a princess, and that’s just even more stupid.
At least you hope you made your intentions clear by touching his arm, that’s as explicit as you can get.
*
Raditz suspects something must be going on if Vegeta hasn’t announced his engagement to you yet. If they are to stay for almost a month, he would assume it would happen sooner than later. Why wait all this time? Vegeta doesn’t even need to court you, he’s a Prince and you’re a Princess, these arrangements happen all the time.
But still, not one word. It did surprise him a bit when Kakarot thought it was impossible for such a thing to even happen. He may not be the brightest person, but he is Vegeta’s right hand man, he should know something.
If anything, Raditz is confused after you had deliberately touched him when you were alone. He knows social courting rules well enough, that was something that would have been social suicide for you. Stupid rules, if he had a say in them. Why should you be affected by such a thing? And even if some other man were to touch you without your consent, the one with a ruined reputation would be you.
So why did you touch him? It can’t be what he’s thinking about… Right?
It’s more than obvious that Raditz likes you. Incredibly obvious if Kakarot of all people noticed. So you must know. But that can’t be right; Vegeta is supposed to marry you, after all.
He rubs his temples as he walks down the corridor of their residence. The skin of his arm where you touched him earlier tingles. He isn’t so innocent as to let himself be affected by a single touch of a hand in such a chaste place, but he has also been thinking way too much about you to let it slide. It was as if your fingers had burned right through his skin. And it certainly made blood rush to certain places.
A door suddenly bursting open brings him back from his inappropriate thoughts, and he watches Kakarot storm out of Vegeta’s room. He can’t see his face clearly, but his body language indicates he’s pissed.
“I’ll fucking kill you if you come close to me again!” Vegeta actually steps out of his room to yell at him, apparently equally angry.
Raditz freezes into place. He has seen them fight before, verbally and physically. And he knew Vegeta well enough to know when his threats were just bark and no bite. This time, however, he sounds genuinely irate. And Kakarot never seemed as tense either, even if he can only watch his back as he practically strides away.
Other Saiyans have either stuck their heads out of their own rooms, or turned to watch from their places in the corridor. Vegeta notices the attention with a brief glance around, and turns to walk inside his room again.
“Don’t you have anything else to do, or do you all have a death wish?!” He yells with a sharp edge on his voice Raditz has rarely heard.
Most men scurry as soon as Vegeta’s words leave his lips, but Raditz remains static, utterly confused.
What just happened?
He knows better than to ask Vegeta about it. He tries to go after Kakarot, walking quickly to catch up to him, only to see him practically running away into the training grounds. Raditz gives up on him then; Kakarot wants to get rid of his anger with violence, and he doesn’t blame him at all, but he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end either.
‘If you come close to me again’, that’s what Vegeta said. What did he even mean?
Raditz has enough of his own issues to be thinking about the possible implications of those words, so he simply turns towards his own room to take a bath. He much rather be thinking about you than what he just witnessed.
*
This time, you chose a secure, hidden spot to watch Raditz train. He seemed on edge when you told him you wanted to watch their sparring matches, so maybe if he doesn’t know you're there, he wouldn’t be so tense.
You can’t help yourself. It’s ridiculous how attractive he is, especially when he seems so focused on training he forgets about everything else. The taunting words towards his opponent, his confident smirk, even the sweat dripping down the side of his face. All of it draws you to him.
Your cheeks flush when Raditz wins his match and grins triumphantly. You take a minute to calm down as you watch him walk towards the side of the training grounds, pouring water over his face and running his fingers through his wild mane. You might need more than a minute to compose yourself after such a sight, but you slowly approach him.
“Commander.” You call for him, a few feet away from him now.
Raditz turns towards you, obviously completely taken aback by your presence if the look in his eyes is any indication.
“Your Highness,” He bows before running a hand up his hair, like trying to put it into some kind of order, but obviously failing. Still adorable. “What brings you here?”
“I just wanted to watch you train again.”
He blushes slightly at your words, and you smile widely.
“I… Did you enjoy the match?” Raditz asks, still seemingly nervous.
“Of course, I couldn’t avert my eyes.” You grin smugly when you watch the color on his cheeks intensify. So he is affected by your attention. “You fight really well. You’re the Commander after all.”
“You don’t need to compliment me, Your Highness.” He says, lowering his gaze, clearly flustered.
“It’s only the truth,” You eye him carefully, checking some bruises he obviously just got, even if he won. “Are you hurt?”
“They’re superficial wounds, they'll heal in no time.”
“Saiyans are truly impressive, I wish I could have that ability.”
“Your Highness won’t be going to battle any time soon.” Raditz teases you with a small smirk, and you smile in return.
“I might if I could heal that fast!”
“I don’t think it would be wise for you, with all due respect. You seem too delicate for battle.”
“Delicate?” You cross your arms, feigning offense. “I’m tougher than you might think.”
“Maybe. Your beauty would distract the enemies enough, that’s for sure.”
Your eyes open wide momentarily, and you watch him comically blush again. It has obviously been a slip, but you’re glad it happened.
“I-I meant that-”
“Please, if you take back your words, I will be offended, Commander.” It’s your turn to tease him, and he sighs loudly.
“I wasn’t… I meant that with the utmost respect.”
You smile as gently as you could without letting your own feelings make you practically jump in the air. You don’t care about compliments about your appearance, most of them are just trying to flatter you for the sake of it, but you do care when it comes from Raditz. Especially when he so openly blushes like that.
“I did not take offense,” You feel a little bold after seeing his reaction so you go on. “But I hope that respect is not the only way you think of me.”
Raditz blinks and stutters, taken aback as he tries to find the right words to say, and you watch his face contort in confusion, surprise and fluster, with amusement.
“I-I-I’m not… sure what you mean…”
You huff, glancing around quickly. There aren’t many people nearby, only your maid, a couple of feet away, obviously keeping an eye on you, but she still couldn’t listen to your conversation. You lean in a little closer, watching Raditz blush again at your proximity.
“I think you know what I mean, Commander.”
“Your Highness, I wouldn’t dare-”
“Please!” You whisper this time, trying to make this conversation even more private than what it is, so you can finally get your point across. “I don’t want to believe that you’re this ignorant of my affection.”
Raditz gapes at you, considering the implication of your words before speaking again.
“I don’t think we should be talking about this here, of all places. Or at all. You’re putting yourself and me in a difficult position.” He takes a step back just as other Saiyans walk into the room with boisterous screams.
“Why?!”
“I must go.”
Raditz leaves hurriedly without giving you an answer.
You stare at his back until you can no longer see him, pouting angrily before turning to leave yourself.
Why is he playing hard to get? You don’t understand. He obviously likes you, you have seen it in his eyes, in his gestures and in the pink hue of his cheeks whenever you get too close. You refuse to give up until you get a straight answer, which is difficult to do when there’s always one of your maids, or soldiers, or Saiyans around. You need to be completely alone with him, somehow.
A few days later, there’s another Ball, organized of course by your Father, with a little convincing from your part. You know where the Saiyans usually are, when some of them are not trying to woo some of the ladies from the court, and that’s by the banquet table. Vegeta is talking to your Father on the other side of the room, Raditz is near the table by the door that leads to the garden, and Kakarot is eating to his heart’s content near his brother.
This is the moment you’re waiting, so you casually approach Kakarot.
“Your Highness!” He exclaims with his mouth full the moment he sees you. You smile sweetly at him, not caring at all about his lack of manners.
“Can you do me a favor?” You cut to the chase, and lock eyes with him as he swallows down the food in his mouth.
Minutes later, the table that has been laid out for the food is abruptly split in half ‘accidentally’ by Kakarot, causing deafening noises of silverware breaking inevitably, along with people screaming in shock at the sudden sound. The maids currently nearby you are shocked and rapidly rush to help clean up the mess, so you take the opportunity to make your move.
Raditz turns to his brother like he’s ready to kill him for such an accident, but you were quick to be only a few feet away from him when Kakarot broke the table, and you hastily grab his hand to drag him out the door. You know he’s shocked when he calls you by your name instead of an honorific, but he doesn’t actually make you stop dragging him.
You take him out towards the garden, practically sprinting all the way towards one of the deepest, most private parts. You finally let go of him when you reach a particularly tall hedge with a seat on its side.
“We can talk alone now.” You say to him, turning to face him.
To your own surprise, he seems more than just taken aback. Impressed, even.
“I-I told your brother to do that,” You feel the need to explain when his eyes bore holes right through you. “I needed to be alone with you… To talk…”
“You are daring, I give you that… Your Highness.”
You offer him a half smile before urging him to sit down on the bench. He is way too tall and would stand out from afar. Sitting down next to him, you open your mouth to speak, but he talks first.
“This isn’t a good idea. If anyone sees us-”
“I don’t care.” You interrupt him.
“Your Highness-”
“Let’s be honest for a second, alright? We’re alone, after all.”
Raditz visibly tenses, and his eyes remain on your face. You feel like blushing the more he stares, and you probably are after a few seconds pass, but you refuse to let your embarrassment get to you.
“You’re right.” He says, breaking the silence.
“Sorry?”
“You’re right. I’m not that ignorant about how you treat me.”
“Oh… Then-”
“I can’t return it.”
You balk only for a moment before glaring at him.
“I like you. A lot.” Your face heats up quickly when you say those words, but to your relief, his face also turns a vivid shade of red that only emboldens you. “I enjoy your company. I enjoy seeing you train, especially when you don’t know I’m watching you. You are… incredibly handsome. And while I find it adorable that you get so nervous around me, I also know you’re not like that all the time.”
It confirms what you already know the more you speak, as Raditz’s face gets more flushed by the second. He does like you and he is attracted to you. He’s obviously embarrassed, though, as he looks down at the floor and then to the side after you’re done speaking.
“Your Highness-”
“Don’t you dare lie to me.”
“You’re truly something, Princess.” Raditz is once again taken aback by your words. The blush fades, and he smirks at you, making your heart flutter. “Since you were so painfully honest, I suppose I own you that much.”
You smile, staring up at him as you wait patiently.
“You have been on my mind since the second I saw you, and you’ve done nothing but implant yourself in my thoughts the more we talked.” Your smile grows inevitably until Raditz’s expression turns stern as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “But there’s nothing we can do.”
“…What do you mean?”
“You’re the Princess.”
“I know.” You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to explain to him that you have thought this through. “I considered everything about our circumstances. I-”
“Then you must know that I can’t be with you.”
“Yes, you can.” You frown.
“Your Highness,” You roll your eyes when you realize he’s going to start talking to you formally once more. “I can’t do this. You’re going to marry Prince Vegeta-”
“What?”
“-And I can’t betray him like that. I’m the Commander in his army, I can’t touch his future wife, no matter what I feel. Not matter if your marriage is political or not-”
“Commander!” You call for him, hoping that he would stop talking to let you clarify the situation.
“If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t say no to you right now.” Raditz goes on, and you let him this time, a little amused at his confession. “Believe me, I’m not sure I even like Prince Vegeta that much, but I can’t do this to His Highness.”
“Raditz!” You call his name, and he does stop talking then. You snort, trying hard not to laugh at his words. “Okay, I can’t let you go on. I’m not marrying Prince Vegeta.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not marrying Prince Vegeta.”
He blinks, staring down at you, processing your words.
“You’re not marrying him?”
“No! Why did you think that?”
“I… Isn’t it obvious?”
“I suppose it is, but if I was going to marry him, it would have been announced by now. Besides, he doesn’t want to marry me.” Raditz frowns, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. “I don’t want to, either! But he said he’s going to support me if I choose to marry you.”
“He-He did?”
“Yes!”
Raditz stares at you, bewildered and surprised, as he takes in your words.
“I don’t understand… Wouldn’t a marriage benefit both of our kingdoms?”
“Yes, it would, but Vegeta wants things his way. He assured me, though, that if I desire to marry someone else in his army, he would support me.”
“That doesn’t sound like him.” Raditz arches an eyebrow.
“It would still benefit him politically anyway.” You say with a chuckle.
“Now, that sounds like him.” He smirks.
You smile sweetly at him. His belief that Vegea was supposed to marry you was what was keeping him away. You’re relieved and amused at the situation; even if he did say he’s loyal to the Prince, he still clarified that he isn’t that fond of him anyway. You have to contain your giggle.
“So I was stressing over nothing.” Raditz says, looking over at you.
“Yes.” You snicker.
“You think it’s funny, huh?”
“I do!”
Raditz lightly nudges your knee with his when you laugh, laughing quietly himself too after a moment.
“You made me doubt myself.” You comment, looking at the ground. “I thought that you just didn’t have any affection for me.”
“How could I not? Our conversations only made it harder for me to resist you.” He smirks, eyes fixed on you when you turn your gaze towards him.
You can’t contain your smile, your heart skipping several beats in the last few minutes, you might as well be having a heart attack. You almost do when you feel something soft and furry touch your arm, making you jump. Raditz chuckles quietly as you notice his tail, fully unwrapped, gently caressing your skin and holding your hand. You run your fingers through it, stroking it tenderly in return, and you hear a quiet purr coming from his chest.
“I’ll talk to my father.” You say quietly, completely content as his tail unwraps itself from your hand, returning to its usual place around his waist.
“No.” Raditz states, looking at you with a serious expression “I will. That’s the suitor’s duty. I will also talk to Prince Vegeta, you mentioned you spoke with him before, isn’t that right?”
“Yes. He actually thought this through more than I did.”
“He did, huh? Who would have thought he was a matchmaker?” He chuckles as you laugh quietly. Vegeta has truly been the centerpiece of your soon to be union. “We were that obvious.”
“Apparently so.”
Your proximity is distracting you, there’s only a few inches in between your bodies, and you dare to keep your gaze fixed on his handsome face. Raditz is staring right back with intense eyes, and your face heats up quickly when you notice his gaze is aimed at your lips.
You want to kiss him badly, and you lean a little closer towards him. But the commotion going on back at the banquet hall can still be heard, and it only makes you more nervous. And he notices, pulling back just as you do.
“Commander,” You start in a soft voice, still blushing as you lower your eyes. “I don’t want my first kiss to be in front of diplomats and royalty on our wedding day. I hope we can be alone again, and soon.”
When his hand finds your chin to tilt your head up, you gape at him in surprise.
“Whenever you’re ready.” Raditz says, and it’s reassuring words, but his smirk and gaze promise something more.
*
When Raditz talked to Vegeta, before he even approached the King, he did it with confidence, knowing that the Prince already knew about your mutual feelings since you had already talked to him. That didn’t stop him from getting annoyed that you two had taken too long to finally confess your affections to each other.
Raditz didn’t tell him that was probably entirely his own fault.
Vegeta had actually planned this thoroughly. You moving in to his fief was his goal, it was a way of having the Princess in his Kingdom; he was betting on you not losing your royal status once you’re married, even when Raditz himself wouldn’t be royalty after your marriage. That was a long shot, but he didn’t care about that. He trusted you had thought this through as well. His fief isn’t poor by any means, and he’s going to work harder than usual if it means giving you more luxuries to live with.
Talking to the King was probably one of the most difficult conversations he’s ever had. Raditz had an audience with him, alone. He’s an imposing man, concerned with your well being. And the political implications of such an union, obviously. He was stern, serious, and practically emotionless when Raditz confessed his feelings for you, promising that he’s going to care for you to the best of his abilities and even more beyond that.
Raditz didn’t get a straight answer from the King, and when he stepped out of the room, you’re there, looking at him with bright eyes, as you gently touch his hand for a brief second, telling him wordlessly that if your father needs more convincing, you’re going to give it to him.
Vegeta has an audience with the King after yours is finished, and by the next day, your engagement is official and public.
All Saiyans congratulate him before he even knows the announcement has happened, and he’s a little bit relieved that apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought that Vegeta was meant to marry you. Except Kakarot.
“I told you, Vegeta didn’t even like her that way.” His brother comments to him on their way to the training grounds.
“Vegeta doesn’t like anyone that way, Kakarot.” Raditz rolls his eyes.
“I don’t know about that, but I’m glad you got what you wanted.” He grins, nudging his side. “When’s the wedding?”
“I don’t know, she’s going to pick the date. I haven’t spoken to her today.”
“Man, I hope it’s soon. Would hate to go back to our Kingdom and then travel back here.”
Raditz considers what Kakarot said. A good point for once.
He’s surprised to see you outside the training camps, later that day after he’s done sparring. He hesitates to approach you, knowing he’s drenched in sweat and dirt, but you beckon him with your eyes, smiling widely as you lean over one of the walls on the side, hidden from anyone who might walk by.
You’re completely alone, too. That worries him and excites him at the same time.
“What are you doing here, alone?” Raditz asks, looking you over, before turning to check if there’s truly no one around.
“I came to see you, and talk to you.” You look up at him, still smiling when you touch his hand.
“It’s dangerous.”
“Since when?” You frown, confused. “I’m the Princess, Raditz, if anyone touches me, it’s going to be a war.”
The way you say his name, not calling him ‘Commander’ for once, doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Precisely.”
“And since when are you this protective?” You smile, amused when he scoffs.
“I’ve always been like this, now I can freely express it.”
“Okay,” You chuckle, lightly threading your fingers with his. “I came to ask you about the wedding, when do you want it to be?”
“It’s the same for me.”
“Two weeks from now?”
Was that a long time? Or too little? Raditz has attended weddings before, but he has never paid attention. He shrugs, and you roll your eyes at him.
“I’ll check with Prince Vegeta later to see if that’s okay.” You add.
“Why?”
“I want to move in to your fief soon afterwards, so I need to consult him on that too.”
“I like that.” Raditz smirks, leaning a bit closer as your smile grows wider. “What did your father say when you spoke to him?”
“The first thing he asked me was if I had lost my mind.”
“That’s reassuring.” The grin on his face flattens, but you still look amused.
“But when I told him how I really feel, and that I wanted to marry you no matter what, even if it means losing my status-”
“He confirmed that you had actually lost your mind?” Raditz asks, raising an eyebrow.
“He seemed… happy.”
“Happy?”
“As much as he can get, I suppose. He seemed pleased with my words, and convinced about our union.”
Raditz nods, satisfied with what you were telling him.
“We should have talked about this the other day, but are you sure you’re okay with marrying me, and possibly losing your title?”
“I don’t care about that.” You say, holding his hand firmly in yours. “I would be worried if you didn’t have a place to call home, but you do. I know we can make that place cozy for the both of us.”
Squeezing your hand in his, Raditz smiles, leaning a bit closer.
“I’ll make it comfortable for you. You can buy whatever you desire, any luxury you wish to have-”
“I don’t care about that.” You emphasize, smiling. “Thank you, but I only want you.”
The moment calls for him to get even closer to you, to lean in and just kiss you, like you said you wanted just the other day.
You’re startled a moment later, and Raditz turns to see some Saiyans walking out of the training grounds, boisterously laughing and bragging about some of their fighting moves.
“When we finally get to our fief, I will tell everyone to fuck off so we can be truly alone for once.”
Your laughter makes him grin. When his heart flutters, he realizes he’s more fucked than he thought he was.
“In all honesty, I find it adorable when you used to be nervous around me, but I knew this is how you really are.” You say, still laughing quietly.
“You are rather mischievous too, aren’t you, Princess?” Raditz purrs that last word, making your cheeks blush slightly. “After all, you’re here without a chaperone.”
“I am.” You tug at his hand, drawing him closer.
Raditz takes in your sight. Your dress was a light, pastel color, looks almost immaculate on you, while he’s completely dirty.
“I’m going to ruin your dress.”
“I don’t care about the dress.” You say, exasperated. “Just kiss me. Please.”
He doesn’t need any more convincing.
Carefully sliding his hands on your waist, Raditz leans down, gently pressing his lips to yours. You make a small content noise, smiling into the kiss and resting your hands on his chest. He wonders if you can feel his heart, beating enthusiastically inside his ribcage.
Leaning his forehead against yours, you’re smiling brightly when he breaks the kiss. Raditz knows he’s smiling just the same.
“How was that for a first kiss?”
“I really liked it.”
He’s surprised when you close the space between them and kiss him again. He doesn’t even fight it, his grip on your waist tightening as he holds you even closer, forgetting what he said about ruining your clothes.
It’s just a simple kiss, he’s just pressing his lips to yours, saving the deeper kisses for when he can truly revel in your time alone. But he’s craving more so he pulls away after a while.
“You’re tempting me…” Raditz pants, reluctantly letting his hands fall to his side.
“I’ll try to make the wedding take place as soon as possible.” You reassure him, snickering quietly.
His eyes scan you, taking your hands in his and inspecting them as well.
“Come, I’ll try to clean you up.”
“I’m fine, Raditz.”
He gently leads you around the building to get into one of the tents, his face heating up the more you use his real name.
When Raditz walks in, he freezes when he sees Kakarot and Vegeta, with their arms wrapped around one another, heavily making out in the middle of the room, without a single care in the world. They immediately pull away the moment they realize you and Raditz had walked in, Vegeta turning completely red in record time.
“Kakarot?! Vegeta?!” Raditz exclaims, eyes ready to pop out of his face, forgetting to even use honorifics in his current state of shock.
“Now we know why he didn’t want to marry me.” You say, equally surprised, but smiling in amusement.
“That had nothing to do with this!” Vegeta explains, his face glowing vibrantly.
“My own brother?! And the prince?!” Raditz says in astonishment.
Kakarot remains silent, looking very awkward and blushing lightly across the cheeks, and you can’t contain your grin.
“This is a popular kissing spot, apparently.” You comment, your eyes flicking between the three men, in various states of nervous shock.
“How dare-What are you even doing here?!” Vegeta barks.
“But Vegeta and I always come here and we never run into anyone…” Kakarot says, making you snort.
Raditz is mortified with each passing second, and he feels the need to gouge out his eyes.
“Kakarot, shut up! Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Vegeta grabs Kakarot’s wrist, dragging him out, before turning around. “Not a single word to anyone about this!”
“Likewise.” You smile, still entertained.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t even want to see that.” Raditz replies, covering his face with his hands.
Vegeta and Kakarot leave in a hurry, and Raditz groans, completely blindsided by what he just witnessed to utter a single word.
“They look cute.” You comment, but he still can’t get his face out of his hands to see you. “You’re practically royalty now.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re not only going to marry a princess, but your brother is also… involved with the prince.”
“Don’t even say it like that.” Raditz groans, now running his hands through his hair.
“We both know it doesn’t matter how I word it, they’re already together.” You giggle.
Raditz realizes now all the little signals, and the things he had witnessed in the past, like that time he saw Kakarot storming out of Vegeta’s room; it was all there, but he has never thought it was possible for Kakarot and Vegeta to be together like that.
“I should have known…” He murmurs.
“Why? Did you see something before this?” You ask, intrigued.
“God, no… Let’s just get out of here.” Disregarding what he said about helping you get clean, Raditz grabs your hand and leads you outside.
“I hope you share the gossip once we’re alone again.” You grin playfully, threading your fingers through his as you walk to the palace.
“Is that what you want to do when we’re alone?” Raditz asks, looking at you with the same mischievous gleam in his eyes.
You only laugh in response, thrilling him more than ever.
Getting the image of Kakarot and Vegeta out of his mind takes longer than he expects, but Raditz soon forgets about it the more often he gets to be alone with you. Apparently you had sneaked around the palace alone for years now, so you have no problem finding spots where you know you two won’t be bothered, and he gets to steal a few more kisses from your lips.
The King is not happy that the wedding takes place so soon, but he doesn’t try to change your mind, or so you tell Raditz. You seem eager for it to take place as soon as possible, and he can’t say anything, because he feels exactly the same.
Raditz hasn’t realized how nervous he is until the wedding day when he wakes up and he’s surrounded by dozens of maids and servants helping him get into his ceremonial white clothes, which are apparently even more uncomfortable than the other fancy outfits he has to wear for banquets. Vegeta is just as annoyed as he is when he lectures him on protocol for the umpteenth time, reminding him again not to tug at his clothes, to walk slowly, and not to curse, no matter who speaks to him. Raditz already knew all that, and hearing it again only makes him more anxious.
He forgets about everything, how uncomfortable the attire is, and everything Vegeta told him about etiquette, when he sees you. Your dress is impressive, with a lot of details embroidered, but he isn’t paying attention to all that; he sees you smiling gorgeously underneath the veil, taking glances at him as the priest speaks.
He’s only allowed to give you a small kiss once you’re pronounced husband and wife, but he’s going to make up for it later that night.
The reception only lasts for so long, and before Raditz even knows it, it’s already time for him to head to the bridal chamber. It’s a custom that he should wait until you’re ready before walking in, but he can’t help but get a little nervous during that time.
If your first kiss was with him, then your first time would be that night. The tail underneath his shirt tightens; it’s not that he’s an animal and can’t control himself, but he also knows that he might end up hurting you even if he were to use a little more force than usual to hold you. Running a hand up his face and into his hair, he taps his foot on the floor as he keeps waiting, trying to calm his nerves.
When the maids come out of the chamber, Raditz doesn’t wait for them to tell him he can walk in. You’re sitting in a chair by the fire, with your hair down and wearing a long nightgown, as you turn to him, smiling sweetly.
He can’t believe he is actually married. To you.
Raditz approaches you as you stand up, and he immediately notices your trepidation; you’re playing with your hair and nibbling your bottom lip. He doesn’t think too much into it when he leans down and kisses you, and you make a surprised noise, putting your hands on his shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” He says, pulling away after a few seconds and taking a step back. “I couldn’t help it.”
“N-No, it’s fine…” You stutter, blushing slightly.
“Are you nervous?” Raditz asks, sliding one hand into your hair.
“Is it that obvious?” You smile, leaning into his touch.
“Don’t be. I’ve done this before, so-” The minute he says those words, Raditz feels like punching himself in the face. Why did he say that? “Fuck, I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I guess I’m not the only one who's nervous.” You smile, not at all perturbed by what he just blurted out.
He is nervous, but he’s more overwhelmed by the fact that he just got married. Raditz never thought it would have been possible.
“When I first saw you, I never thought I’d end up here, in a bedroom with you. On our wedding night.”
He sits on the bed, staring at you intensely. You are usually wearing fancy dresses, and your hair tied in elaborate styles, but you, in just a nightgown and your hair flowing, are the prettiest you’ve ever been to his eyes.
“When you first saw me? At the banquet hall, months ago?” You ask, sitting beside him.
“It was long before that. The first time we arrived at the palace was over a year ago. Your father welcomed us alone because it was very late at night. I couldn’t sleep and went into the garden that first night, and you were there.” Raditz remembers that day vividly. You were sitting in the garden, petting what he assumed were one of your father’s hunting dogs. He wondered what you were doing at such an hour, but he didn’t move to disturb you. “Surprisingly alone, even when the palace is full of soldiers and visitors.”
“You didn’t talk to me then.”
“It wouldn’t have been appropriate, and I didn’t want to scare you. I stared at you from afar for a bit.” Raditz groans, running a hand down his face in shame. His tongue is looser due to his nerves and he can’t control it. “You must think I’m a creep now.”
“No.” You chuckle, taking his hand into yours. “I also saw you for the first time before that first banquet. I sneaked out once to see you all train. You caught my eye that day.”
“I did?”
“Yes.” Raditz looks at you curiously, and you go on before he even has the chance to ask for more. “You’re handsome, yes, but there was something else too. Your attitude at banquets and balls, that amused me to no end.”
“Why?” He chuckled.
“It was obvious you didn’t even want to be there at all.”
“It’s true, I don’t particularly like events where royals are involved.”
“Even me?” You ask teasingly, nudging his side.
“Until I realized you were one of the few nice ones.”
You laugh quietly, leaning closer. Raditz tilts your chin closer and kisses you tenderly, savoring your lips, smiling when you wrap your arms around his neck.
“Saiyans…” He starts, pressing his forehead to yours. “We bite our mates as a ritual.”
“You bite them?” You ask, confused.
“Yes,” He chuckled at your expression, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “We don’t have to do it right now, but since we are married, at some point we will.”
“No, no, I want to… How does that work?”
“We have to bite each other here,” Raditz dragged his hand down where your neck meets your shoulder. “Hard enough to draw blood.”
“Blood?! I don’t think I can do it…” You’re nervous, he can see it, but it’s reassuring you’re not pulling away. “I don’t want to hurt you…”
“You won’t.” He chuckles, nudging your nose with his. “And I can tell you that it’s going to feel good, too.”
“Have you done it before?” You ask him with wide eyes.
“Not as a ritual.” He winces immediately. He probably shouldn’t have said that either. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”
“It’s okay, I find it funny.” You smile widely.
“Funny, huh?”
You nod before kissing him. Raditz appreciates your initiative, noticing your growing confidence the more often you get to kiss him. He has been craving more for days now so he presses you closer, wrapping his tail around your waist. Your fingers run through his hair soothingly, calming down his nerves and enticing him all at once, making him purr deep from his chest. You smile against his lips, pulling back only a little.
“Did you purr?”
“Yes.” Raditz replies, kissing down your neck to hide his blush.
Your chuckle turns into a hum when he settles on a sensitive spot underneath your ear, and he takes his time there until he feels you shivering against him.
Impatience getting the best of him, Raditz holds you close and moves over to lie you down on the mattress, pulling back to look down at you, devouring you with his eyes.
“I’ll go slow.” He says, stroking your cheek. “If this is what you want. Or we can do this some other time, when you’re ready.”
Raditz hopes, prays, that you want to do it right now. He’s already half hard, and while he can obviously ignore it and go to sleep like that, he doesn’t want to. But you’re his priority, and he doesn’t want to push you.
With a small smile, you lean up to kiss him.
“I’m nervous, but I want to… I want to do this with you, even the biting ritual…”
Thrilled more than ever before, Raditz kisses you fervently, running his hands into your hair and pressing his body as close as humanly possible. Your body flinches, and he trails his lips down your jaw.
“Don’t worry, I’m here with you, and I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you.”
You sigh contently as he kisses down your neck, grazing his teeth on your skin.
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yves.'s 2023 PRIDESTRAVAGANZA!
Friday, June 30th, 2023 @ 10:00 AM PST on Twitch
Please join me for a homotranssexual (+Constantine) battle royale, sponsored by OHHOW's monthly theme of Interactive Fiction and (consequently) everyone's favorite Hunger Games simulator. Root for your favorites! Boo the losers! We're having the top LGBT yves. characters fight for our amusement, because why pit two queens against each other when you could pit twenty-three? (+Constantine.) No prior yves. reading experience required.
RECORDING AVAILABLE NOW
Support the author: all posted writing | book | ko-fi | Patreon
Further info & stream spoilers below cut:
Final character list used for the stream:
Kay and Atlas (KAY RAINIER)
Constantine (KAY RAINIER) and Bren (Sometimes it Happens)
Ephraim and Elle (Sometimes it Happens)
Eliza and Red (Forest Castles)
Avner and Ahava (Forest Castles)
Dana and Flor (Tell Me About the Nonbeliever)
Mel and Jenny (Something's Not Right)
The Father and The Daughter (Exhaustively)
Vidalia and Brayden (Tragic Accident)
Charlie and Scarlett (World Got Smaller)
Rebecca (Something Weird I Heard About Rebecca) & Traveler Wife (The Traveler Wife)
Beck & Annalise (Long Line) (NSFW)
________________________________
All the unused characters I considered using:
KAY RAINIER: Constantine's fruity brother Ariel, mysterygf, Leah, Bode, Elizabeth
Sometimes it Happens: Lilith Giselle, Michael, Alyosha
Dressage protagonist, Tragic Accident protagonist, Thomasina and Katie from The Summer of Katie, Percique and Annet from A Fruit Platter of Unintended Consequences, Violet from codename: violet, Ocean, Mr. Tanner, and Tim from Practical Applications, Will from HOMECOMING, Starling and Westenra from IF YOU ARE MADE OF LIGHT., the women of Galactic April, đào and titania from as you were, Home Wife from The Traveler Wife, The Groom from Bride & Groom, Graecen and Rosauro from The Hands and the Mouth, the protagonist and Gale from Six Reasons I Have To Do This, Nishie and Juliana from the magic number.
(If I missed anyone, you should tell me!)
_______________________________
RECAP
Round 1: Bloodbath
Ephraim Sokolov and Dana Singh fight for a bag. Dana Singh strangles Ephraim Sokolov with the straps and runs.
Bren stabs Annalise in the back with a trident.
Brayden shoots a poisonous blow dart into Jenny's neck, slowly killing her.
Red kills Vidalia with her own weapon.
Round 2: Day
Constantine Rainier severely slices Avner Ivory with a sword.
Beck silently snaps The Girl's neck.
Red taints Scarlett's food, killing them.
Ahava severely injures Atlas and leaves him to die.
Round 3: Night
Constantine Rainier falls into a frozen lake and drowns.
Traveler Wife kills Flor while he is sleeping.
Mel bashes Red's head in with a mace.
Round 4: Day
Mel poisons Brayden's drink. he drinks it and dies.
Kay Rainier dies trying to escape the arena.
Round 5: Night
Ahava accidentally steps on a landmine.
Round 6: Day
Rebecca taints Mel's food, killing him.
Traveler Wife forces The Golem to kill Beck or Bren. he decides to kill Bren.
Round 7: Night
The Golem severely injures Charlie, but puts Charlie out of Charlie’s misery.
Rebecca overpowers Elle Valentin, killing them.
Round 8: Feast
No-one died
Round 9: Day
Rebecca kills Dana Singh with a sickle.
Round 10: Night
No-one died
Round 11: Day
Beck stabs Rebecca with a tree branch.
Eliza Feldman begs for Traveler Wife to kill her. she reluctantly obliges, killing Eliza Feldman.
Round 12: Night
No-one died
Round 13: Day
The Golem attempts to climb a tree, but falls on Traveler Wife, killing them both.
WINNER: Beck
MOST KILLS: Rebecca (3)
#txt#important writing updates#writeblr#writeblr event#pride#hunger games simulator#<- Not to put too fine a point on it.#writeblr stream#pride 2023#stream#twitch#writerblr
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ALL THE BOOKS / COMICS MY OCS WILL COME FROM + THE GENRE / AESTHETIC OF EACH WORK
warnings: yandere stories, minor spoilers if you squint
elements of this post are STC for the actual series.
SERIES NAME: NARKA (lit. Hell in Tausug/Bahasa Sug)
I . LIMBO : LOVE ♡ MULTIPLIED ! INVASION OF YOUR HEART
— manga aesthetic , mostly in black n white. style changes as the story moves forward.
— highschool setting
— romance, thriller, psychological horror, horror
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included here are: yan! idol, yan! girl next door, yan! childhood friend
II . LUST : Midnight Darling
— high fashion, magentas, blacks and reds.
— college setting in ‘philippines’
— romances, thriller, psychological horror, horror
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included here are: yan! jock, yan!nerd, yan!faculty
III. GLUTTONY : LOVE ♡ MULTIPLIED ! ROCOCO LOCO
— manhwa aesthetic, bright and sparkly
— rococo/baroque era in ‘france’
— feel good, food p*rn, slice of life
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included here are: yan! emperor, yan! prince, yan! princess, yan! concubine.
IV. GREED : MAKE MONEY NOT LOVE
— mafia/yakuza/gang aesthetic
— delicious crime scenes. also equally if not more so disgusting crime scenes.
— mystery, thriller, some scifi/isekai
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included here are: yan! mafia boss, yan! yakuza, yan! hangure/delinquent.
V. HERESY : DAMNATIO MEMORIAE
— churchcore, lolita mixed with modern/sci-fi. reminiscent of genshin or honkai stair rail, painting aesthetic. very much blood sweat and tears / fake love era of bts esque.
— shounen, action, power fantasy
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) unfortunately characters here don’t really fit into an archetype, but i will be making yan! ver x reader fics nonetheless.
VI. VIOLENCE : LOVE ♡ MULTIPLIED ! MONSTER
— dark, unsaturated, messy artwork. sort of berserk if it were set thousands of years into the future.
— sci-fi, dark fantasy, seinen, body horror
— ( for yan oc! enjoyers ) some of the characters included here are: yan! scientist, yan! war hero
VII. WRATH : ISEKAICEPTION ! 1 000 000 TH TRY.
— shounen anime aesthetic, tons of battle scenes
— action, mix of high fantasy and some modern / sci-fi. mix of heresy and gluttony, power fantasy, family bonds.
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included are : platonic yan! parents and brother
VIII. FRAUD : GUEST IS GOD
— sexy, mature, red and black. semi realism.
— seinen, ecchi at times, thriller, host club.
— (for yan! oc enjoyers) some of the characters included are: yan! boss, yan! co-workers
©️ yun | hana.no.seiiki 2023
#hns.txt💬#make money not love#guest is god#midnight darling#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagine#yandere fic#yandere oc#original characters#original character#oc#yandere oc x reader#yandere oc x you#yandere ocs#yandere ocs x you#yandere harem#yandere various#yandere harem x reader#yandere harem x you#yandere concept#yandere various x you#yandere various x reader#various yandere#oc x reader#original character x reader#oc x you#original character x you#yandere original character x you#yandere original characters
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My Dad the Bounty Hunter Season 2 Spoiler-Filled Review
My Dad the Bounty Hunter is a coming-of-age animated sci-fi adventure series by Everett Downing Jr. and Patrick Harpin. It is a continuation from the first season, which came out in February. It comes at a time when Black-centered animations are blossoming. This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, My Dad the Bounty Hunter, being reviewed here, wouldn't exist.
Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the forty-eighth article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on September 4, 2023.
The second season of My Dad the Bounty Hunter picks up where the last one left off. Sean (voiced by JeCobi Swain) tells a story about his space adventures in class. Lisa (voiced by Priah Ferguson) acts like know-at-all to her science teacher. She declares that their dying planet and slow technology growth will ensure that outer space exploration is impossible. Their mother, Tess (voiced by Yvonne Orji) comes to school, learning that the school administrators see Sean as a genius, but they see Lisa as a problem student. She talks to her husband, Terry (voiced by Laz Alonso), who is working at a shoe store, telling him they shouldn't keep secrets. Everything goes awry when a bounty hunter captures him, which she, Sean, and Lisa see, traumatizing them.
And that is only the first episode. This season throws you right into the action with new characters like Blobby (voiced by Patrick Harpin), a scammer extraterrestrial who was once captured by Terry in his bounty hunter persona of "Sabo." Later, Tess puts herself, and her kids, in danger. She travels in Glorlox's stolen ship to a nearby prison. She hopes that Terry is imprisoned there, while there's an active bounty on her head. There are typical sci-fi elements like space warping and laser battles. Scenes in the space restaurant Bucky Quantos and A.I. like KRS (voiced by Yvette Nicole Brown) enhance this. The quick action and exciting plot make the series even more engaging. It draws you into the animation, by Dwarf Animation Studio, which has a smooth 3-D style.
The Conglomerate, officially known as Endless Horizons Conglomerate, are still the villains. With the death of The Fixer in the first season, Pam (voiced by Chelsea Peretti) is the organization's new CEO. However, there is a twist. The Conglomerate is not holding Terry in their prison. Pam claims to investors that the Conglomerate is trying to become "socially conscious." She boasts about reported rehabilitation of criminals to make them "productive" corporate slaves. She further champions the new food options at the ever-popular Bucky Quantos restaurant. The Conglomerate's changes ensure the restaurant is no longer a "glorious palace of meat and grease and cholesterol," as one character puts it. Instead, Pam declares that Conglomerate will connect people, and the universe, with warp gates. She is assisted by robot enforcers, such as Beta (voiced by Mara Junot), who calls Pam "the Creator."
This series reminds me of Okja. The 2017 film mixes the science-fantasy and action-adventure genres. Directed by Bong Joon-ho, also known for Parasite and Snowpiercer, the Mirando Corporation are the villains. The corporation has a similar goal to the Conglomerate. They plan to raise genetically modified super pigs to sell meat to the masses. However, when they kidnap one pig, Okja, its owner, Mija, a young South Korean girl, tries to get it back. She is helped by an animal liberation group to rescue Okja. The group plans to reveal the corporation's misdeeds to the world. Obviously, My Dad the Bounty Hunter is different from Okja, which focuses on the horrors of the food industry. Both have a strongly anti-corporate message even as they are on the streaming platform of Netflix, a conglomerate of its own.
Coming back to My Dad the Bounty Hunter, the second season shares similarities with space operas in the Star Wars franchise, like the third episode. In that episode, the fissures between the family members come to the surface. For one, Sean and Lisa can't enter the casino because they are kids. Only adults are allowed in. Secondly, Tess admits she grew up in constant danger when she was younger but doesn't want to talk about it, making Lisa suspicious. Thirdly, Sean begins to bond with Blobby, and Blobby with Lisa. She gives him tips on playing galactic poker. The episode hints at what is to come. The Widowmaker (voiced by Ralph Ineson) reveals that the Doloraam High Council kidnapped Terry. This terrifies Tess, confusing Sean and Lisa as to her reaction. She is implied to be non-human.
The third episode was the first time I had laughed during the season. The mother of Philip, a cat-faced creature, embarrasses him. She forces him to apologize for insulting Tess. It is moments like that which make me like the series even better. However, at other points, dramatic elements are more emphasized than the comedic ones.
The fourth episode continues directly from the third. The Afrofuturist themes come to the fore. This season is more Afrofuturist than the first season. The Doloraami royalty are revealed: Emperor Odoman (voiced by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and Empress Gurira (voiced by Janet Hubert). Odoman towers above Terry, on the coliseum floor, and conducts the trial against him. Terry gets a sleazy public defender named Ja Boluu. Boluu's voice actor, Godfrey, previously voiced Kofi in Steven Universe. Kofi is a stern, and somewhat authoritarian patriarch, of the Pizza family in Beach City, and owner of the family business. While Boluu is different from Kofi, there are other comparisons between Steven Universe and this series.
In both series, the protagonist is on trial. In Steven Universe, Steven is on trial for his mother's crimes (killing a Diamond). He is accused of being his mother because of the pink diamond in his belly. (Blue) Zircon defends him. She finds a flaw in the Diamonds' case. She accuses them of being complicit. As a result, Yellow Diamond poofs her. The trial in My Dad the Bounty Hunter is quite different. Emperor Odoman charges Terry with spacecraft theft, assaulting a royal guard, and abducting Sa Janeera, princess of Doloraam. Also, his public defender has wronged many people.
As it turns out, Tess is Sa Janeera. Terry acts surprised, but likely knew already. Unlike Steven in Steven Universe, who barely escapes the all-powerful Diamonds, Terry goes through tribulations of fire to annul his guilty sentence. The pompous B'Caala (voiced by Keith David), a Prince-like cat man who desires political power, tries to make a deal. He suggests that Terry narc on Tess. He refuses. Terry loves and cares about her. This refusal shows his loyalty to her.
Viewers who watch this series may see similarities to Black Panther and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, which have Afrofuturist themes. However, Africanfuturist animations like Kizazi Moto, or futuristic elements in Supa Team 4 are more apt. Black Panther has been criticized for embodying police habits and tendencies. Some have said it sanitizes "cop behavior and brand it as heroism." In contrast, the main characters in My Dad the Bounty Hunter, like Tess and Terry, are on the run from bounty hunters. They are the furthest thing from cops. This series doesn't have copaganda, even though the Kingdom has a retributive justice system.
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One of the major themes in My Dad the Bounty Hunter is the importance and value of family. Those ties are tested in this season. Lisa is annoyed that Tess is keeping secrets from her. She ignores Sean's warning about not knowing the full story. This comes to a head in the fifth episode. Adja (voiced by Thando Thabethe) claims Tess made the "wrong" choice in leaving Doloraam. Although this is hurtful, it is nothing compared to Beta kidnapping Lisa and Sean. Tess loses it. She is paralyzed, unsure of her next steps. The credits further emphasize this by not having a music track. This encourages audience members to sympathize with Tess.
These themes mesh with Sean and Lisa's connections to their Doloraami roots. Tess also unlocks her long-forgotten Doloraami powers, allowing her to defeat Beta. Interlinking to one's ancestral identity is not unique to this series. For instance, the Kizazi Moto episode/films "Mkhuzi: The Spirit Racer" and "Hatima" emphasize similar themes, as does the lackluster episode/film "First Totem Problems." Similarly, Carmen Sandiego, in the series of the same name, investigates her Argentinian roots in an important sub-theme of that series. In addition, Amphibia and The Ghost and Molly McGee incorporate Thai culture into the storylines, with the protagonists examining their parentage and ancestry.
Like other nations in Black speculative fiction, Doloraam has independence to make its own decisions. Pam detests this. It puts her plan to seize the planet's crystals, known as Kalatite, in jeopardy. Like in the Kizazi Moto episode/film "Herderboy," with herding of cattle to gain crystals, to power their society, the Kalatite crystals are the foundation of their society. They are sacred and have been in hands of the Doloraami people for generations. It makes sense that the Conglomerate would work with B'Caala in hopes that the royal council will agree to the Conglomerate's terms. Even though the council is unaware of B'Caala's treachery, they are rightly skeptical of the Conglomerate. They worry whether they will be kings or if the Conglomerate will have control instead.
The Conglomerate doesn't put all their eggs in one basket. Pam develops a plan which aims to achieve the Conglomerate's goals. There is a huge demonstration of the "good" that can come from warp portals. This does not convince the royal council. As a result, Pam later grumbles that she is tired of being nice. This implies that she will soon show her "true" nature. Her expression changes after learning that Sean, Lisa, and Tess are royalty. She believes that returning them to Doloraam will cause the royal council to vote in favor of the Conglomerate. This is a major miscalculation.
Odoman and Gurira are glad to see Tess, and meet Lisa and Sean. Terry is freed, after Tess confronts her parents about his kidnapping. B'Caala is tossed aside like a used dishrag. Pam says that because she brought back Tess, she doesn't need him. To make matters worse, his tribe no longer recognizes his sovereignty, after he beats up Terry in a fight. His removal from the royal bloodline dashes his attempt to seize political power. B'Caala is further crest-fallen by Tess's marriage to Terry.
Pam cares little about B'Caala. She only wants the deal with the royal council so she can exploit the citizenry, like any imperialist. She does not want to get involved in leadership squabbles. The royal council gives Pam a container with gold bars for her trouble. At the same time, they reject the Conglomerate's proposal. Gurira says that they cannot, "in good conscience," accept it. She argues that the Kalatite crystals are part of the Kingdom, as are the people and their family. The Conglomerate's real plan manifests itself at the end of seventh episode. Their full-scale invasion almost resembles tactics of the Galactic Empire in the Star Wars franchise. The latter wants order and stability, while cracking down on any who disobeys.
The season's last two episodes involve the struggle against the Conglomerate. It is revealed that Doloraam is not defenseless. A shield protecting the city is activated, as are cannons to fire at invaders. An arsenal of weapons is also revealed. During this fight, Lisa connects with the Kalatite. She fights alongside Adja in the city, calming Tess's worries. Blobby and Sean work together to shut down the portal which is providing the Conglomerate with additional forces for their assault. In a scene akin to an Imperial cruiser falling toward Ryloth, in the Star Wars Rebels episode "Homecoming," the portal's closure slices a Conglomerate ship in half. The end is near. Despite this, Pam desperately attempts to finish the plan, at any cost.
The final episode of My Dad the Bounty Hunter wraps up everything, almost too nicely. The robots accelerate their extraction of Kalatite crystals. Pam has not learned the lesson that Elena (in Elena of Avalor) and Lunella Lafeyette in Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur made abundantly clear: speeding up the timeline only leads to disaster. Glorlox and his crew gives a helping hand, as does B'Caala. He informs Tess about Pam's location. In a conversation with her, he reveals that he wanted to rule the planet, not see it destroyed. Following this is a great hand-to-hand combat scene between Pam and Tess. She pulls out Pam's neural link, implying that the ship she was piloting the ship remotely, like the robots. Of course, this isn't the end.
Tess fights Pam in a battle in a creepy swamp. The true form of Pam is revealed to be a huge alligator-like monster. Tess barely wins the battle. She is heavily injured, and Terry, Sean, and Lisa save her just in time. The fast-forward that follows is typical of many animations, either films or series. Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts had one in the final episode as did Nimona in the end of that film.
The fruits of their victory are apparent. Tess (wearing boots made from Pam's skin) hangs out with her family, her mother (voiced by Leslie Uggams), her friend Adja, and other compatriots on Earth. Everyone bonds. Lisa agrees to show Adja (who has a crush on Glorlox) around Earth. Blobby works with Sean to turn his story into a movie. There is a good, but untrue, quip from Blobby about how "all the good books" get turned into movies.
The series ends on a slice-of-life note. All of them play football together. However, a cliffhanger post-credits scene, which shows a warp gate activating, and a ship passing through, hints at a possible continuation. However, a lack of continuation for My Dad the Bounty Hunter would not leave fans hankering for more, as they do with High Guardian Spice, which has which raises more questions than answers. While the central conflict in the final episodes ended too quickly, the second season finale is perfect. I'm afraid that having another season would ruin that ending for fans and others alike.
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In my season one review, I noted that the series impressed me. I described the animation and voice actors as top notch, praised the music selection, and noted that many voice actors were well-known. I also compared the series to episodes of Dogs in Space, Cleopatra in Space, Star Wars: The Bad Batch, and contrasted it with more mature themes in Helluva Boss and Invincible. Those insights still ring true. New characters like Blobby bring more humor to the series. Joshua Mosley's score for the series, often including rap or hip-hop music, can make you excited to watch more.
The voice actors of My Dad the Bounty Hunter are a diverse bunch. JeCobi Swain has been in the entertainment industry since at least 2016. He has voiced characters in Eureka! and Firebuds. In contrast, Priah Ferguson, well-known for her role in the 1980s nostalgia trip known as Stranger Things, voiced Bailey in the subpar animated series, Hamster & Gretel. Yvonne Orji has range as evidenced by the fact that she also voices Gigi in Velma.
Laz Alonso has worked in the entertainment industry since early 2000s. His voice role in this series is one of his first voice roles, apart from some characters in Robot Chicken. Patrick Harpin, who is also this show's creator and a storyboard artist, provided his voice to characters in two Hotel Transylvania films. Yvette Nicole Brown has been very prolific in her voice acting. Brown voiced characters in Strange Planet, The Ghost and Molly McGee, Dogs in Space, Fairfax, and many others.
Voice actors Chelsea Peretti, Mara Junot, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Janet Hubert, Keith David, Thando Thabethe, Leslie Uggams, and Ralph Ineson are just as talented as those previously listed. This series also features Venice May Wong (also called Venice Wong) as Halvey, a friend of Sean and Lisa. Apart from her role in this series, Peretti recently voiced Queenie in Adventure Time: Fiona and Cake. Junot voiced Shoola in Arcane. Akinnuoye-Agbaje is known for providing his voice for Bilal in the film Bilal: A New Breed of Hero. David has voiced characters in Firebuds, The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder, Final Space, DuckTales, and Young Justice. In contrast, this series is one of the first voice roles for Hubert, Thabethe, Uggams, Ineson, and Wong.
The show's cast is stellar, making the characters more relatable. The series is geared toward a Black audience and designed for families. This can draw people in, even those who prefer 2-D animation over 3-D animation. Those who watch it may connect with the messages, social commentary, or other aspects. They may also enjoy the show writing of Harpin, Downing, Justin Gordon-Montgomery, Shakira Pressley, Ryan Harer, or Tomi Adeyemi.
Gordon-Montgomery previously directed episodes of DC Super Hero Girls and storyboarded High Guardian Spice and Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure episodes. Pressley wrote for Craig of the Creek. Harer was a script coordinator for Centaurworld and Middle School Moguls. Adeyemi is a Nigerian-American writer best known for her Legacy of Orïsha trilogy of young adult fantasy novels, which have Afrofuturist themes. All these people comprised the majority-Black writers room for the series.
Overall, the series is fun to watch. It is almost as fun as some Cleopatra of Space episode. In my season one review I said that series was unique and shined. I described it as "not my favorite series ever." In contrast, I enjoyed the second season even more. There are many more series to compare it to now than there was in February. My predictions that the series will explore more about family dynamics and conflicts proved correct, as did the portrayal of a "loving Black family."
However, Lisa did not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend in this season. In fact, neither Lisa nor Sean had romantic connections to anyone else. I think this is purposeful. In fact, Sean cares more about the fate of Beta, and the control she has over her body, than any person, apart from his family and friends. Sadly, the dearth of fan fiction for this series on AO3 or Fanfiction.net makes views of fans on this subject unknown.
As I say with every show that drops on the same day, I would have preferred 1-2 episodes of My Dad the Bounty Hunter air every week. The same "binge" model has been followed for Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, Supa Team 4, Carmen Sandiego, and latest season of Disenchantment. Hopefully, future series will follow the lead of anime and release only one to two episodes per week.
I liked the emphasis on storytelling, as shown through Sean wanting to tell his own tall tales, and trying to be true to himself. The latter has a parallel in Blobby reuniting with his other half in the sixth episode. It echoes how Steven Universe reunited with Pink Steven in the Steven Universe series finale, "Change Your Mind". Watching this season was worth it. I was glad I did so because this season is more Afrofuturist than the first season, as it addresses concerns and themes of the African diaspora through its speculative fiction and technoculture.
I'm glad I remembered that My Dad the Bounty Hunter even had a second season because I only was reminded when reading social media posts from fans about it. Unfortunately, mainstream reviewers seem to have ignored the second season's release. Despite the fact there are reviews out there, an online search indicated that major sites like The A.V. Club, IGN, Los Angeles Times, CBR, and The Hollywood Reporter have not penned reviews for the show's second season. I'm not sure the exact reason, apart from unconscious racism, but it does this show a disservice in many ways.
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At present, the series is on hiatus. Its fate has not been determined. Fans on social media have praised the series as awesome, fun, sweet, beautiful, incredible, and enjoyed the attention to detail. Netflix also deserves criticism for not marketing the series, leaving that job to the fans and creators (and crew). It is a clear insult. On the other hand, the release of this series shows that original stories matter.
My Dad the Bounty Hunter comes out at a time that negotiations to end the strikes of writers and actors are ongoing, with no agreement in sight. Wildbrain's workers have said they are moving to form a union and the animation industry is under strain, with work drying up and studios cutting back on employment. Dwarf Animation Studios is not mentioned on a recently-circulated spreadsheet noting conditions within animation studios. Some reviews on Glassdoor were positive, describing it as having a good company culture. Others noted it can be disorganized or were more critical.
It is not known if Netflix will renew the series for another season. This series comes at an apt time, since many other Black animations are being released nowadays. It is worth checking out, despite Netflix's lack of promotion and mainstream reviewers completely ignoring the second season's release.
My Dad the Bounty Hunter can be streamed on Netflix.
© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
#my dad the bounty hunter#afrofuturism#black animation#black people#sci fi#animation#reviews#high guardian spice#moon girl and devil dinosaur#elena of avalor#reviewers#kizazi moto: generation fire#supa team 4#africanfuturism#star wars#anti corporations#anti capitalism#Youtube
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This occurs toward the end of the story, right before my previous Battle Couple scene. It also contains major spoilers.
Rogue & Gambit Week 2023: Family Dinner option 2
Rogue took another look at the note that had arrived with their breakfast that morning as she put in her dangling earrings. Marie had invited them to a dinner in one of the smaller event rooms: there had been a cancellation, and with all the food already paid for, it would be wasteful to toss everything. Marie was inviting a few people along, but please don’t mention this to anyone in case they hadn’t been invited too. Marie was not in the mood to play ‘placate entitled guests’ anymore than she already had to. If they were interested, to let Angela know.
Earlier on, they had located Angela armed with a chainsaw and taking down tree branches that were growing too close to rooves. She promised to let Marie know.
Rogue still couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew Angela. Mystique was no help, which tended to suggest that if she had met Angela before it had been before she absorbed Mystique. After all, if Facial Recognition Software was a human being, Mystique would be their hero.
Gambit came out of the bathroom, and took up his dinner jacket.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Sure,” Rogue replied.
They took the short walk to the event room on the ground floor and let themselves in. The room was furnished and decorated with the faux antiques that were found so readily in the public spaces of the Lord’s Manor. A long dining table had been set for ten, and a baby’s high chair had been placed at one end of the table. The windows over looked one of the trees that Angela had been working on earlier that day. The woodchipper that she’d been using was still out there.
“Hmm,” Rogue said, looking around. “Guess we’re the first ones here.”
“So much for being fashionably late,” Gambit said with a grin.
They weren’t alone for very long. Only a few moments later, the door opened again, and in came five very familiar people.
“What are you doing here?” Gambit exclaimed, while Rogue froze beside him.
Jean-Luc LeBeau, with Henri, Mercy, and their two young kids entered the room.
“Why, we’ve come to see you two, of course,” Jean-Luc replied cheerfully, and gestured to Rogue and Gambit. “How long has this been going on? I thought you didn’t date clients.” He grinned at Rogue. “He wore you down, did he?”
“No,” Rogue said, incensed at the very idea. “He never wore me down. He didn’t pester me until I said ‘yes’. If he had tried, he would’ve ended up with a black eye and that would’ve been getting off lightly.”
“Told ya so,” said Mercy, and she gave Rogue a wink. “Remy’s not that persuasive.”
“It just kinda happened,” Gambit cut in with a caution that wasn’t heard in his casual tone. “Rogue found and removed some sabotage on my Ducati. I offered to take her out to dinner as a thank you. She refused on account of not wanting anyone to think we were on a date. So I offered to cook dinner at her place instead.” He shrugged. “It was supposed to be this relaxed, friendly meal, and well, things snowballed from there.” He turned to Rogue and took her hand. “Sorry to talk about you like you’re not here.”
“It’s fine—”
“You’re touching!” Henri exclaimed. “What happened to the coma thing?”
“Oh, I got control over my powers recently,” Rogue said, and narrowed her eyes. “And if you make one suggestion about ‘sexual healing’ I will kick your ass three ways to Sunday, got it?”
Henri threw up his hands. “Got it.”
“Good. My power control is entirely independent of this relationship,” Rogue said firmly.
“That’s great,” said Mercy. “And congratulations.”
Rogue smiled. “Thanks.”
The door opened once more, and this time Kurt and Wanda arrived with Talia.
“Kurt? Wanda?” Rogue exclaimed. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Why to surprise you with a celebratory dinner, of course,” Kurt replied cheerfully. “Surprise!”
“Aww, thank you.” Rogue gave him a hug.
Introductions were made. Kurt decided he would be happier not getting confirmation about what the LeBeau family business was, and shortly thereafter the servers arrived to take drink orders and leave appetisers on the table. The next few minutes were spend passing around food and filling up water glasses with the water that had already been left on the table.
“So, how long have you two been dating now?” asked Henri.
“Five months,” Gambit replied, and hoped his family wouldn’t question it too much. He didn’t want to have to expose Rogue’s lie in front of her family.
“Wow, really?” asked Mercy. “You two sure did a great job of hiding it. I could’ve sworn I saw you with other women.” She raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I didn’t want people thinking I’d broken my no dating client rule,” Rogue said, looking very focused on her garlic bread. “Might give the wrong people ideas.”
“We were technically open in the beginning,” Gambit said quickly. “We both agreed it would look weird if I wasn’t seen dating. And at the time we didn’t think it would end up being anything serious, so…”
“Ah, so now it’s serious?” Mercy asked.
This was one of those moments when Rogue was thankful she had Mystique’s fine tuned control over her responses. She was quite sure what she really felt about the situation would’ve been written all over her face.
“It’s serious enough that I’ve had enough of dating other women just to keep up the facade,” Gambit said smoothly. “We weren’t planning on going public, ‘least not in New Orleans,” he gave Kurt and Wanda a nod. “I was just going to go the whole ‘secret girlfriend’ route.”
“It would’ve taken me two weeks,” Mercy said with a smirk.
“I don’t doubt that,” Gambit said, smirked back at her. “But at least you we can trust to be discrete. Right now we just want the time to figure out just how serious we are. If we decide it’s not going to work out, we’ll just quietly break up and hopefully no one will be the wiser. If we decide we are serious,” he looked at Rogue and took her hand in his. “Then we go public. We just won’t mention how long we’ve been dating for. Wouldn’t want you to have to deal with any of my exes telling you I cheated on you with them.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll happen anyway,” Rogue said. “I anticipate getting a visit from Bella Donna the day she finds out. If she does.”
“You can just tell her it’s her fault we got together,” Gambit said with a wink.
“She’ll love that.”
“Bella Donna is an ex, I take it?” Kurt asked.
“High school sweetheart, so to speak, and ex-fiancee,” Rogue said. “They’d probably both be happier if they could cut each other out of their lives completely but because of Reasons, they can’t. Things gets a little toxic occasionally.”
“Wow, thanks a lot,” Gambit grumbled.
Rogue shot him a look, then turned back to Kurt. “So, the night that led to us dating, Belle sabotaged Remy’s motorcycle with an acid trap. It would’ve slowly eaten away at the break line.”
“If she was serious about killing me, she would’ve just cut the break line,” Gambit grumbled.
Rogue shot him a Look, then turned back to Kurt once more: “See what I mean?”
Kurt frowned. “You’re not worried about her coming after you, if you go public over there?”
“She’s never gone after any of Remy’s girlfriends.”
“He’s never been serious with anyone else either,” Mercy said quietly.
“Kurt,” Rogue said softly. “I really don’t think I need to worry about Belle trying to kill me.” Her possession of Mystique’s powers severely cut down on murder victim options.
“I guess you’re right,” Kurt replied thoughtfully. “But I wouldn’t want to rely on that. You never know what might happen in the future.”
“Yeah, I think Mercy has a point about the never being serious with anyone else before thing,” Henri said, oblivious to what Rogue and Kurt were actually talking about. “I have no idea how Belle might react if she found out you were actually really serious with someone else.”
“Well, while you two are figuring things out, we can come up with some contingency plans,” Jean-Luc said decisively.
The door opened once more, and the servers arrived with drinks and the main course. Sides were added to the tables, and the main dish itself, a roast chicken, was brought to the table by none other than Angela. The servers left, leaving Angela there with the carving knife.
“I hope you’ve all been enjoying yourselves,” Angela said as she began to slice up the chicken. “Any preferences?”
The others at the table began making requests. Rogue watched Angela with her usual frustration. Why couldn’t she place her? Why couldn’t she figure out how she knew her?
“Perhaps because you’ve already discounted the truth,” Mystique whispered into her mind.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You haven’t considered all the possibilities.”
“Do you know who she is?”
“I have an idea of who she might be.”
“And?” but Mystique didn’t comment further.
“How is it a gardener is serving the roast?” asked Gambit. “Not that I’m complaining. You’re doing a great job.”
Angela smiled. “We’re a little short-staffed in the kitchen today.”
“Must have had a long day after all the work you’ve been doing outside.”
“Oh, I had a long break in the heat of the day.” She put a generous serving of chicken on Rogue’s plate. “Enjoy!”
“Thanks,” Rogue replied.
Angela continued to slice and serve the chicken, and then took her leave.
“Is it just me, or does she remind you of someone?” Kurt said as he finished filling his plate.
“Yeah, it’s been bothering me ever since we met,” Rogue said to Kurt. “I can’t place it. I know I know her…”
“Hmm. Tried asking?”
“She says we haven’t.”
“Maybe she’s a former celebrity,” Wanda suggested. “Some child actor all grown up or something.”
Rogue frowned. “Maybe…”
“Vegetables, you two,” Mercy said to her kids. “You can’t only eat chicken.”
“Aww,” they complained, but obligingly put salad on their plates.
Much of the conversation that followed was stifled as everyone enjoyed their food.
After a time, Jean-Luc took in the thoughtful expression on Gambit’s face and grinned.
“Trying to guess the ingredients again?” he asked.
“I feel obliged to,” Gambit replied after taking a moment to swallow. “The chicken seasoning is unusual.”
“You like to guess ingredients, do you?” Kurt asked.
“Yeah, it’s fun,” Gambit said. He took another bite of the chicken and chewed with serious consideration. “I think there’s parsnip in there.”
Rogue felt Mystique jerk inside her mind. “Mama? Something wrong?”
There was a short pause, and then a reply: “Oh, I definitely know who Angela is now.”
“Oh? Who is she?”
“Me.”
“You? She can’t be you. You’re in a coma.” But even as she thought the words, Rogue realised Mystique was right. All that familiarity about Angela just clicked into place.
“You don’t know that I haven’t woken up.” Mystique pointed out. “And it’s been over a year since you last had confirmation of my status.”
“You’re right. This is bad, this is very bad,” Rogue thought. “She’s had plenty of opportunity to make herself know. The fact that she hasn’t must mean that she blames me for what happened like you did.”
“And probably thinks you stole her fortune from her too, since she hasn’t been sensible enough to check in.” Mystique sighed. “It’s a shame we didn’t recognise her earlier.”
“What do you mean?”
“Haven’t you noticed? Can’t you see your hand trembling? How weak you feel? How your heartbeat is slowing down?”
Rogue did noticed. She also noticed that the table had gotten quieter, everyone had gotten slower.
“Hemlock,” Mystique said. “You must isolate every trace of Hemlock.” And as Rogue began to do just that with her mother’s powers, Mystique continued: “You must get it all before the paralysis full sets in. The muscle weakness is going to make that harder, but not impossible. And she will know you won’t be vulnerable for long.”
As if on cue, the window behind her opened. None could turn their heads to see, but Angela - Mystique’s - voice rang out nice and clear.
“I do hope you’ve all been enjoying your chicken,” Mystique said, and placed her hand on Rogue’s shoulder. “Especially you, traitor.”
“Don’t waste your energy with talk. Focus on the Hemlock. You must regain full control over your body. It’s the only way we’ll survive.”
“Isn’t this all such a nice little family get together?” Mystique said as she walked around the table, allowing everyone to get a look at her. “You know, Rogue, I thought long and hard about how I was going to get revenge on you for selling me out. Stealing my life, my fortune,” Mystique slammed her fist on the table in front of Rogue and got into her face. “My powers!”
“Do not get distracted.”
Rogue concentrated hard on locating and isolating all the Hemlock, making it the focus of her attention, but even still she couldn’t tune Mystique out.
“You should have finished me off when you had the chance,” Mystique snarled at her, then pulled herself up and continued her walk around the table. “But you didn’t. And now, here we are. And I am going to do to you exactly what you did to me, and take away everything that you love.” She gestured to everyone at the table. “And since you’re so fond of love and friends and family…”
Mystique smiled at Talia, seated in her high chair, and then at Kurt and Wanda. “Don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of my granddaughter.”
No one could verbalise a single objection, not even mumble one. Their minds were unaffected, but their bodies just couldn’t respond.
“I would love to keep you alive long enough to watch everyone die,” Mystique went on as she continued back to behind Rogue. “But I’ve sampled Hemlock before myself. I know you’re fighting it right now. Using my powers to fight it right now. And if you succeed, I’ll lose my chance to kill you.”
Mystique hauled Rogue out of the chair.
“Which brings me to the woodchipper outside. You can’t heal if you’re in a million pieces.”
It was only then that Rogue realised she could hear the hum of the machine outside.
Mystique pulled Rogue’s dead weight over to the window.
“She’s slower than she should be. She’s rebuilt muscle after being in the coma, but she’s not quite up to handling your dead weight. That will buy us a little more time. Work faster!”
BAMF!
Kurt’s body came crashing down on both of them. Rogue’s inner Mystique chuckled the moment she realised what had happened. “Smart boy!”
“Kurt!” Mystique snarled. “I knew I was right to include you in this. Of course you’d take her side, ungrateful brat!”
She struggled to push Kurt off. It took her a moment, then she grabbed Rogue and began hauling her back up to the window. Kurt teleported right back on top of her again. She cursed.
“I’ll slit your throat if you try that again!” And she was not gentle about pushing Kurt off her again.
Rogue’s body began to feel more responsive as enough of the Hemlock was isolated. As Mystique tried a third time to get Rogue out of the window, Rogue used her shapeshifting abilities in inflate her body, making to too big to fit through the window.
“No! No!” Mystique screeched the moment she realised. “No, it’s not too late. I will kill you!”
She pushed and shoved, determined to get Rogue through the window.
“Treacherous scum!”
“I never betrayed you, Mama,” Rogue said breathlessly, working hard to regain full control. “SHIELD set me up too. I had no idea they were even involved until it was too late.”
“Liar!”
“I never stole your fortune either. I’ve been safekeeping it for you. I think you’ll be happy with how much it’s increased. I took all of your instruction.”
There was the mildest of hesitation in Mystique before rage kicked in once more.
“No! You took everything from me! Everything!” she screeched as she continued to pushed with everything she had. “You. Need. To. Die!”
Mystique threw herself at Rogue with such force that not only did she slide through the window, but so did Mystique. Rogue desperately reached out with arms that stretched far enough to grab the heavy table and barely managed to keep herself from falling.
Mystique was no so lucky.
“Nooooo!” Cried out both Mystiques, one cry cut horribly short.
It was with tears running down her cheeks that Rogue pulled herself back into the event room. She wanted to take a moment to compose herself, but she didn’t have it.
“I hope you don’t mind if I borrow you a second,” Rogue said to Wanda.
Rogue touched her sister-in-law’s hand, and then did what the paralysis prevented Wanda from doing herself: She conjured up several hex bolts, each one attuned, not with an antidote that didn’t exist, but the ability to isolate and extract Hemlock from their systems, just as Rogue had done for herself. The balls of shining red light scattered and hit their targets. Light shimmered over their bodies. Relieved, startled gasps and cries filled the space.
“Finish cleaning up,” said Wanda’s newly acquired voice.
“She’s right. You should clean up the woodchipper, now, before anyone sees.” Mystique said. “No good can come of the authorities getting involved.”
Rogue walked to the window and with the last of Wanda’s power she had, she conjured up one final hex bolt. It hit the woodchipper and the surrounding area, and all traces of Mystique’s body disappeared like they were never there.
Rogue dropped to the floor and wept.
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Food Battle 2023 spoilers
Ok, the fact that Anthony was secretly Ian's wife all along and had sex is hilarious and SUS at the same time if you take for a fact that there was also a joke of making out with your best friend that was brushed off.
Who...thought of these jokes? Lmao.
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TMNT (IDW, Micro: Villains) #1: Krang
Read Date: July 01, 2023
Cover Date: April 2013
● Writer: Joshua Williamson ● Art: Mike Henderson ● Colorist: Ian Herring ● Letterer: Shawn Lee ● Editor: Bobby Curnow ●
**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers
Reactions As I Read:
● me in 40 years, yelling at nursing home aides
● 👏👏👏
Synopsis:
A stone soldier is outraged at the discovery of the theft of some of the ooze and the subsequent death of one of the Utroms in cryo-stasis (as seen in Krang War, part 4). He reports the find to Krang who is less than pleased to hear the news. He denies help back into his suit from the soldier and wonders if his troops still fear and respect him. He knows he was not always powerful.
In his youth on the Dimension X planet of Utrominon, Krang was a spoiled, entitled brat, content to let his underlings do everything for him. His father, Emperor Quanin, was displeased with his son's attitude. Krang asks to sit in on an Utrom High Council meeting about the offensive against Traxus, but Quanin tells him he would just be in the way. His father's enemy Traxus had been imprisoned on Morbus, a prison planet with an extremely hostile environment. Unfortunately, Traxus had overthrown the guards and united the other inmates against Quanin. Quanin and his advisors planned an attack on Morbus. They knew a direct attack would be expected so they planned to land in the swamp to the north of the prison.
Quanin assembled his best warriors and shipped them to Morbus to take on Traxus. Krang stowed away on the ship, planning on proving himself worthy in battle. However Traxus had expected a sneak attack and mined the swamp. The commander of the Utrom squadron was blown to smithereens within moments of landing, and shortly after Traxus himself appeared and killed the rest of them, save for Krang who managed to avoid capture and death. Krang had never even conceived of such death and destruction. Krang knew if he didn't act quickly he would die alone, never to be found. The plants, creatures, and terrain of Morbus were all incredibly deadly.
Somehow, Krang steeled himself and fought off would be predators. He took strength from the fact that he alone made it through Traxus' attack. Krang survived off the land for days, hunting for food and fending off wild animals. He was glad he was alive, but he could not rest until the mission was complete. Krang fought and tamed a large, ferocious lizard. Riding the lizard he stormed Traxus' command center in the prison's tower and demands he surrender. Granitor and Tragg, working under Traxus, ask if they can take care of the intruder but Traxus declines. Krang tells his lizard mount to spit venom into Traxus' eye, distracting him, allowing Krang to leap onto his back and stab him repeatedly until he died. Granitor and Tragg, abiding by the law of their own people, accepted Krang as their new leader. With their help, Krang took control over Traxus' army.
Eventually Emperor Quanin himself flew to Morbus to see how things had transpired. He was in disbelief that his son could have defeated Traxus himself. He greeted Krang with respect for the first time in many years.
In the present, Krang decides to accept the stone soldier's offer of help. The stoner soldier leans down to lift up Krang, and he attacks, killing the soldier to make an example of him. Nothing will stand in his way.
(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Krang_(IDW_issue))
Fan Art: Krang by Teratophile
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A Cameraphobe’s Guide to Making Sure to Never Be the Focus of a Camera || Taryn Daclison, FASA's 2023-2024 Co-Media Chair
Cameraphobe = someone with the fear of being in front of a camera and having their picture taken
Hello FASA,
It is I, Taryn, the person behind the camera who is always running around at events asking you to smile and pose. As my time on board is near the end, I can’t help but look back at how far I’ve come in this org as well as think about how nice it felt to not be the focus of a camera for a while. Now, I do realize the irony in giving tips on avoiding the camera while using photos of myself, but these are the ones out of thousands of photos that just happened to turn out good. So if you are like me and are a cameraphobe, then here are some steps that I took that I think can help prevent the inevitable photo of you lacking.
*Disclaimer* This is 100% NOT foolproof so I am not responsible for any photos that may catch you lacking (jk that probably was my fault lolz im sorry)
Step 1: Go to a FASA event
My first touch with FASA was at the beginning of freshman year, when the Filipino girl who lived down the hall from me at Markley texted me, asking if I was gonna go to FASA’s FAM/Lin event. I barely knew her, or much about FASA, but I was intrigued by the idea of a Filipino club so I said “I’ll go if you go.” The next thing I know a couple weeks later, she and I are walking to the event wondering if there was gonna be food and what the event was gonna be like. Little did I know that I ended up walking there with one of my future best friends, was sorted into the best FAM (shoutout $WAG), somehow missed the lineage sorting form, and was gonna get caught lacking.
Me + said girl from down the hall (aka Sofiaaaa) at FAM/Lin Reveal
Step 2: (if given the opportunity) Go to FACT
To be honest, I didn’t go to anything FASA related after FAM/LIN until FACT came around. I actually signed up to go at FAM/Lin with Sofia (the girl from down the hall) because going to UIUC for the weekend seemed like fun. I was honestly so excited to go to UIUC for the weekend but I was also extremely nervous because I didn’t know anyone else going except Sofia. But then she ended up getting sick and couldn’t go, so essentially I went to Illinois knowing NO ONE, but I wouldn’t change it for a thing. It was at FACT where I really got to know people in FASA and where I realized that FASA was something I truly wanted to be a part of.
I can’t believe freshman me got in a car with people I’ve never met before and went to UIUC
The freshmen room except I didn’t get put in the freshmen room. Still had a lot of fun though!!
Step 3: Integrate yourself into FASA
After FACT, I tried to go to as many events as I could and even applied to become an intern!!
But that didn’t really work out…
But (spoiler alert) everything ended up working out in the end! I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and since I got rejected from being an intern, I was able to get to know more people in FASA at events and really enjoy the fun of being a general member.
During my active era:
I (finally) got sorted into a lineage, which I love so so so much and am quite literally obsessed with.
TIGGYYYY
I constantly had the freshmen over at my dorm before every afterset iykyk.
I went to Chicago for Battle, which really felt like a big giant sleepover with my friends.
Who would have ever thought that the FIRST co-media chairs would be in this car on the way home from battle
And I got to do so much more all while having fun and creating some of the best friendships I’ve ever had through FASA.
Like this one.
And this one.
How could I ever forget this one.
And most importantly this one.
Step 4: Run for Media Chair
The best way to ensure you won’t be in front of the camera is by being behind it all the time!
By the time election season was coming around, I was on the fence about running for board because I wasn’t sure if a) people knew who I was and b) if I was even qualified to do so. I was so hesitant and so secretive about it (and for what???) that I only told 3 people I was running. And even then, I told them I was running for either socials or externals, NOT media. After coffee chatting my media ates Emily and Michelle, I realized that I was just as qualified as everyone else to run for board, and that if I wanted my vision to come to life then I should run. So I did. And then I was able to avoid the camera for a year :)
Media Lin <33333 (also who let me wear cheetah print pants to elections???)
During my time as media chair I have gotten to see and capture moments where people are creating friendships or where they are finally connecting to their own culture, and it has been so fun to watch and be a part of. Truly this position was an opportunity I never knew I needed. Looking back at the beginning of my freshman year to now, I have grown so much creatively and as a leader. Not only that, but I have also learned so much about my culture and how I can let it be a significant part of my life. So because of that, being on board and being media chair will always hold a special place in my heart.
Step 5: Ummmm
So actually I don’t know what step comes next after being media chair, but that’s something for me to figure out now. But It’s looking like I’ll have to come up with a new plan for avoiding the camera.
All I know is that I owe A LOT to board. Thank you guys for being patient with me (and Kayla) when we turned you into impromptu models for board photo shoot. And then when you had to do it again another day for the group photo. Thank you for listening to us at the end of every board meeting when we were always the last to go. Thank you for all supporting and hyping us up in every creative endeavor we had. And thank you all for being such eager and hardworking people and for letting us be a part of each and every one of your events. I am so proud of everything that you all have accomplished and I hope you know that after our terms that we are not just fellow board members but friends as well.
My favorite impromptu models <3
And of course, I know I owe MUCH MORE to my wonderful co. Kayla, you have been such a rock for me this year and I don’t think I've thanked you enough for it. You pick up where I slack off and you push me to be more creative and a better co each and every day. Thank you so much for supporting my ideas and helping me bring them to life. Thank you for being patient with me and for always listening to my rants and ranting with me. You make me feel sane and seen :) On another note, thank you for always laughing at my jokes and telling me I’m funny. It always makes my day when you say that <3
And lastly, thank you FASA. You have been a community that will forever feel like family. It has been such a pleasure getting to capture FASA’s memories with my camera, and I can’t wait to see what the next media chairs do (it better not be catching me lacking).
With peace and love,
Taryn Alexis Denise Daclison <3
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