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gimmethatagustd · 2 years

Note

just me being greedy and dropping a second req lmao oop. FOR JOON HOES EVERYWHERE!! your boyfriend knows he's been busy with work and slightly neglecting you, but he's planned the perfect evening for the two of you to ~reconnect -- too bad every single thing that *can* go wrong, *does* go wrong.

FOCUS ON ME | KNJ

Namjoon just wanted to have a magical evening with you. So how did it end up becoming a nightmare? (An alternative summary: Namjoon is clumsy and dramatic. You love him anyway.)

» pairing: namjoon x reader

» rating/genre: BTS | PG | established relationship | humor | crack

» word count/date: 3k | August 2022

» warnings: things are not always what they seem

» notes: i hope you enjoy this ABSOLUTE INSANITY 😌 also fun fact, the magic lounge is a real speakeasy / magic bar in chicago that i love going to

» masterlist

» what was jai listening to? good time - wayv

Namjoon flung open the front door of your apartment, nearly knocking a photo of the two of you off the wall. He had his suit jacket slung over his arm and tugged off his tie as he barreled down the hallway towards the bedroom.

“Are you ready?!?”

“You aren’t ready,” you said with a roll of your eyes from your seat in the living room.

You sipped a glass of wine (a solo pregame, you could say) while you waited for your boyfriend to figure out what avant-garde outfit he was going to wear to the Magic Lounge. Because, as he’d said, “It’s the Magic Lounge, babe. We have to look the part.”

If looking the part meant looking like an absolute maniac, Namjoon was killing it.

Maybe everyone else at the magic show would think he was gorgeous, his dark hair flowing at the nape of his neck and swept over his forehead, the sparkly button-up he wore hugging tight to his muscles when he rolled the sleeves up his arms. But you? You knew he was a maniac. Only a maniac would walk outside in slacks that hugged his thighs like that.

It was downright illegal.

Just like the way Namjoon parked outside your apartment complex, made evident by the large yellow ticket tucked under the windshield wipers of his car.

“The fuck?” He snatched the paper, dark eyes scanning the fine print.

“You parked literally right next to a fire hydrant.”

“It was for maybe twenty minutes.”

You cocked your head to the side. “You’re kidding, right? Kim Namjoon, you’re a lawyer.”

“And?” He tossed the ticket into the backseat of the car when he slid behind the steering wheel. “I’m not a cop.”

“Are you sure you actually went to get your driver’s license, or is that ID just a fake one you bought off your student intern?”

Holding in the laugh that threatened to escape from the way Namjoon sent you a glare was nearly impossible. The only thing that saved you was the fact that he nearly drove off the road from looking at you too long.

Date nights were rare in your household, though that hadn’t always been the case. The first two years of your relationship with Namjoon was all late night adventures, giggles, and bitten lips. You’d loved the spontaneity of it, even though you didn’t always consider yourself to be the type to jump into decisions without thinking first.

But then Namjoon graduated from law school and the long hours of corporate law kicked in. There were nights you never saw Namjoon; it was easy for him to stay cooped up in his office.

In all honesty, you didn’t give a shit what you did, as long as you could do it with him. Grocery shopping could be a date if it meant you could playfully bump the shopping cart into his butt and chase each other down the aisles.

Still, it was nice to get dressed up and visit the new bar that hosted magic shows every other weekend. You weren’t the last attendees to arrive at the Magic Lounge, and that’s all that mattered to you. Although, you were a bit concerned that just because you’d arrived didn’t mean you could go.

“What do you mean the ticket is invalid? It’s right here. See, the timestamp was only a week ago.”

“Sir, I’m telling you what I’m seeing when I scan your code.”

Namjoon held up his phone for the bar host to view, perhaps getting a bit too animated in his display. That was what stress did to him; he got so tightly wound up something as simple as a wrench in his plans could have him grinding his molars. When you saw his jaw pull taunt, that’s when you knew an intervention was due.

“Um, hello.” You pushed past Namjoon to stand before the host. If you’d made it all the way to the bar to be turned away at the front doors, Namjoon was going to lose it. “Maybe there’s a problem with that ticket? Can you try this one instead?”

“Of course.” The host’s demeanor quickly shifted as he inspected your digital ticket. He gave you a boxy smile that wasn’t lost on Namjoon, his large hands brushing against yours when he took your phone from you. “Looks like this one worked. You can both follow me and I’ll take you to your seats.”

It was hard to keep up with the man as you trailed him through the bar. “This guy is all legs,” you muttered under your breath to Namjoon, but he only grunted.

You finally reached a bookcase in the back of the room. You and Namjoon gave each other side glances, unsure of what a bookcase was doing in a bar. Sure, it had an upscale speakeasy aesthetic, but the little reading nook seemed a bit random. That is, until the man pulled a book off the shelf and the entire bookcase slid to the side, revealing a secret door to a large room with a stage at the front and many tables scattered around it.

“Oh shit, wow.” You hurried behind the man, thankful to quickly find your table and sit down. From seemingly nowhere, the host handed you food and cocktail menus.

“My name is Taehyung, by the way. But you can call me Tae,” he said with that same boxy smile, shooting you a sly wink with his back slightly turned away from Namjoon. “I’ll take care of you tonight, so if you need anything, feel free to use the call button to let me know.”

“What call button?” Namjoon interjected, having looked at the table and seeing nothing of the sort.

Taehyung smirked at him before leaning in a bit closer to you. He smelled refreshing, like a mojito, and you wondered if he also prepared the drinks. You felt your face grow hot as he brought his hand up, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. When he pulled away, he held a small device in his hand.

“This call button.”

Your mouth fell open, clearly entertained by the simplest of tricks. “I haven’t seen one of these before. How does it work?”

Taehyung shot you another grin as he straightened up. “Magic.”

Namjoon let out a loud snort as your host slipped away to attend to other patrons. “That was corny as fuck.”

“You said you wanted to come here!” You teased, poking his shin with the toe of your shoe while you flipped through the menus.

His expression softened a bit and he tapped your shin with his shoe as well, although much gentler than you had. “Thank you for coming, babe.”

“Oh, it’s not something to thank me for.” You ducked behind the cocktail menu. The romantic feelings stuff always made you feel shy. It was your luck that your boyfriend lived for romance. It was part of the reason why his new job was putting a strain on your relationship. He didn’t like not having time with you.

“It is, though,” he continued, pulling on the menu to expose your face. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

As the lights in the room faded to signal the beginning of the show, Namjoon took a hold of your hand from across the table and brought it to his lips. A bit of stubble pricked your skin when he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.

“Good evening, folks!”

A rather plain looking man in a simple suit stood on the stage, introducing himself as the magician for the night. He looked nothing like what you’d expected, but that didn’t mean his talent was lacking - in your opinion. Although some of his jokes were corny (which Namjoon believed he’d predicted after the little Taehyung situation), you were all wide eyes and small giggles at the magic tricks he performed. Magic, honestly, pissed you off. You hated that you couldn’t understand how things happened, but that was also the fun of it all. Wonder wasn’t a feeling adults got to experience much in life. You found that to be rather sad.

Namjoon managed to maintain a state of wonder, though. If it was writing poetry or going to art museums, he found a way to bring creativity and novelty into your lives, much like the magician was now.

He also managed to bring a bit of chaos with him, too. That was a type of wonder, wasn’t it?

“Shit,” Namjoon hissed. You watched in slow motion as his elbow knocked into his glass, spilling water all over the table. Thank god the glass didn’t break, but you still let out a small yelp and immediately shot up from your chair to avoid getting water on your clothes.

“Ah, yes! You, with the blue hair! Come on up!”

Your eyes grew wide as you turned to see every single person in the room staring directly at you. The magician waved you over; he’d taken you standing up to indicate your eagerness to participate in whatever his next trick was.

“Oh fuck,” you whispered when your long-legged friend arrived to escort you to the stage. Namjoon watched with his mouth hanging open as you weaved through the tables and eventually climbed the stairs to the stage.

Why hadn’t you just said no?!

“Welcome! What’s your name?” The magician looked even more normal up close, though he had some pretty dope makeup that made his eyes stand out compared to the plainness of his outfit.

“Y/N.” You tried not to sound nervous, but you’d finally noticed the rectangular box sitting on a table in the middle of the stage. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Now, we’ve never met before, have we?”

You shook your head.

“Great. Have to confirm for the skeptics, right?” His laugh was deep and melodic. “Now, you’re going to help me by getting comfy in this display. Can you handle that?”

You looked out in the audience to find Namjoon, but the stage lights made it difficult to see anything. Well, there was no point in embarrassing yourself further by chickening out, right?

“Sure.”

The magician took your hand and helped you into the rectangular box, and you tried not to feel like you were putting yourself into a coffin as you eased into a lying position. At least when the magician closed the box over you, your head and feet stuck out so you didn’t feel completely trapped.

Well, until you realized just what this trick was.

“Uhh, can we-” you began, but the magician turned to the audience.

“Now, as you can see, my lovely assistant is nestled in the display case.” You hated that he was calling it a display case. It made you feel like a bug or something. “I’m going to take this real saw-”

You didn’t hear anything else he said. All the blood rushed to your head, and all you could hear was the sound of the ocean in your ears as the magician began sawing you in half.

“Wait, wait,” Namjoon reached out and grabbed a hold of Taehyung’s shirt as the man walked past your table. “What the fuck is happening right now?”

Taehyung smiled and wrinkled his nose at your boyfriend. “Magic, of course.”

“Don’t fuck with me, man.” Namjoon tightened his grip on Taehyung’s shirt, closing the space between the two of them to glare the man straight in the face. Taehyung narrowed his eyes and stood his ground, much to Namjoon’s surprise.

“If you don’t calm down, I will have to escort you out, sir.”

“I wish you’d fucking try.”

Right when Taehyung grabbed Namjoon’s hand to rip it from his shirt, the audience cheered. Namjoon let go of Taehyung and focused his attention on the stage where the magician held out his arms to showcase the rectangular box. It was now completely cut in half. And empty.

Where the fuck were you? You weren’t dead. Well, Namjoon hoped the fuck not! But you also weren’t here, and he didn’t like that. Not one fucking bit.

“Skeptical?” The magician asked the crowd, hearing a few cheers ripple through the room. “Would anyone like to come up and see for yourself?”

Namjoon immediately forgot about Taehyung, determined to get the magician’s attention. When the man beckoned for Namjoon to approach the stage, he charged forward and nearly stumbled up the stairs in his haste.

“Welcome! I invite you to take a look around the stage to confirm that yes, my lovely assistant has indeed disappeared.”

Namjoon ignored the magician and frantically paced the stage. He moved around the two pieces of the box, examined the table the pieces sat on, eyed the floor to look for any holes or trapdoors. Whatever the fuck tricks magicians had up their sleeves to make the impossible happen. Maybe Namjoon was stupid or wasn’t observant, but he couldn’t find anything… Nothing at all.

While the magician bragged about his success in making you disappear, Namjoon slumped back to your table. Obviously, the skit was that you would disappear and then the magician would make you reappear. That was the whole point. Namjoon would just need to sit and wait.

Fuck that.

His sharp eyes scanned the tables, keeping an eye out for that douchebag Taehyung. With the man nowhere in sight, Namjoon slipped out of his seat. He followed the perimeter of the room until he found a black door with a faded sign that read EMPLOYEES ONLY. Giving the handle a little jiggle, he quickly slipped inside while the magician rambled on stage about his next great trick. He wasn’t concerned about you. But Namjoon was. He was going to figure out where the fuck you were, and then the two of you were leaving because he did not particularly enjoy what he just witnesses.

Magic or not.

The door led him to a large backroom. The air felt granular, like dust in his lungs. A lone box fan did its best to circulate in the room. Props and unknown machinery lined the walls and at least a dozen employees scurried around the room, looking for whatever items were needed for the next magic act - at least, from what Namjoon assumed. He suddenly felt very out of place with his flamboyant outfit while the employees wore dark outfits. Namjoon was definitely not where he belonged.

Luckily, no one paid any attention to Namjoon as he weaved through the props and racks of costumes. It didn’t take him long to decide that you weren’t in this room, either. Eventually, he came to another black door marked VIP at the other end of the room. His hand left a sweaty imprint on the gold handle as he pushed inside.

The entire room black with gold accents. Gold specks were woven into the black carpet. Gold end tables flanked a black couch. Gold earrings dangled against your neck as you laughed, tossing your head back and slapping your hand against your knee.

“Y/N,” Namjoon spoke in an exhale, slightly bending over to catch his breath. “What are you doing?”

Your face lit up when you saw him and you jumped to your feet to wrap him in a crushing hug. “Oh my god, Joonie, did you see it? Did you see me? Didn’t I do a great job? Oh fuck, I had no idea what was happening at first.” You babbled on, but all Namjoon could do was lean against the door.

“You!” His eyes fell on an unfortunately familiar face who’d sat next to you on the couch - the person who’d had you laughing. “You knew where Y/N went and you didn’t tell me.”

Taehyung flipped a gold coin between his knuckles and shrugged. “It’s all part of the show. You paid for it, didn’t you?”

Was it fair for Namjoon to feel jealous? This was supposed to be his date night with you, and you’d spent most of it in a dark room with Taehyung and whoever else the other people were in the room, likely all magicians with tricks he didn’t want to know about.

“Why didn’t you come back?”

You rubbed Namjoon’s chest, squeezing him even tighter. “You’re so dramatic, baby. I’m supposed to go back in about ten minutes. I’ll reappear, say surprise! Then we can watch the rest of the show!”

Namjoon gave you a long, unreadable stare.

“Nope. We’re leaving.”

“What??”

He snatched your wrist and led you through the storage room, muttering to himself. “Watched you get sawed in half. Disappeared. On date night, of all nights. With Mister Long Legs, even.”

You couldn’t help but smile as your boyfriend stomped through the venue, stopping to drop a tip on your table (because he was cranky, but he had manners), before leading you back through the bookcase. You’d never seen him so worked up before, and quite frankly, it was pretty hot. So maybe you were a little bit of a brat, but it was cute how Namjoon seemed to have genuinely worried about where you were.

“You knew it was fake the whole time, right? Like, you knew I wasn’t in any real danger, right?” You poked him in the side, but he didn’t look at you, only led you to your parked car. “Joonie.”

“Yes, yes, I know it’s not real! But it was weird and I… I just wanted you to be with me, okay? I didn’t want to wait around alone and not have you with me.” He pouted and waited for you to get into the car before he got in himself. The two of you sat in silence for a moment. While you’d had plenty of time to process what you considered a pretty dope magic trick, Namjoon was obviously in his feelings.

“Hey, babe. I’m right here, okay? We can go home, if you want. Get into some comfy clothes and snuggle?” You captured his hand in your own and pressed it to your lips as he had done to you earlier. He set his soft gaze on you and it was impossible not to melt. Drama king or not.

“Alright. But… Can I ask you a question first?”

You pressed another kiss to his hand. “Of course, baby. Whatever you want.”

He visibly gulped and leaned his head against the seat headrest as he turned to better look at you. “How did he do it? The trick?”

You brought your lip between your teeth and smiled into your eyes.

“Magic.”

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

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