Your ex fiancée was white but you want to blog about black rights when that’s not really the case now is it .....

Well now …… I see that someone has really been digging through my old posts and my old deleted pics. I guess you get an “A” for effort. I guess.

So here’s the thing: my ex fiancée is white, but that has nothing to do with me blogging about Civil Rights, racism, anti-blackness and #BlackLivesMatter. See, I’M black. My mother is black. My father was black. My sisters, my brother and all my half-siblings are black. My grandparents? Black. My cousins and nieces and nephews? Yup - all black.

So …… I fail to see the connection between who I was engaged to and my blogging about the struggle?

Look, I’m not a woman, but I blog about sexism, misogyny and rape culture. I’m not gay, but I also blog about LGBTQ issues, homophobia, and transphobia. I’m not disabled, but I also blog about ablism. I’m not Jewish, and I’m not Muslim, and I’m not an immigrant, but guess what? Yeah, I blog a lot about antisemitism, Islamophobia, xenophobia and the struggles those people face too.

Now I admit: I am never ever ever going to be able to go as hard or as deep on the oppressions that people from those groups face. I will never be able to fully relate to certain struggles as a person who belongs to those groups, because at the end of the day, I am not a member of said groups. So there will ALWAYS be realities about each group that I can only empathize with. My understanding will always be lacking and incomplete. And I will ALWAYS have more to learn …… but that doesn’t mean that I can’t support those different (and overlapping/intersectional) groups.

So again, I kinda took the long way around to say this: But I have no idea why you seem to think that the race of my ex has ANY bearing on how hard I go for my own mf people? How hard I go for myself??

I love myself, and I love my people.

How is this even a serious question??

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you’re trying to imply that I’m a sellout like Coonye West, or Ben Carson, or Clarence Thomas, or Diamond & Silk, or Lynne Patton, or any of those other slags, I think it is very obvious where I stand. And I’m also not some pitiful, colorstruck swirl blogger who “prefers” white women and thinks the sun rises and sets on white people. Fuck that noise.

I just happened to meet a girl, and only God knows why, but she loves me, and I fell crazy mad in love with her.

And I fucking refuse to be ashamed of that. I won’t ever be ashamed of that. Ever.

Literally the only reason why I’ve rarely mentioned her race was because, generally speaking, it wasn’t important. And not sorry, but I didn’t feel the need to “show her off” as though she was some great white trophy to boost my ego. I’m already cocky enough as it is. (She absolutely IS a great woman, but her greatness has zero to do with her race).

If my ex’s race is THAT important to anyone else, then we are just going to agree to disagree, and you can feel free to unfollow me or block me.

A lot of people have sent in anon asks asking me about my breakup, and I most definitely am not going to be answering any of those questions. Don’t ride too much on this ask either. Anon pissed me off, so yeah, I got baited into replying. Please don’t make me have to turn the anon feature back off.

Trust Me • Chapter 2

Summary: I led a quiet little life, surrounded by wonderful people. My daily life consisted of taking care of others. I was happy to lead a simple life, until I became the prisoner of the most powerful man in the kingdom.

Theme: Fluff, Romance, Angst, Policy, Power, Adventure, Middle Age, Soldiers

Pairing: Warrior! Min Yoongi x Caregiver! Original Character

Word count: 1,3k

Warning: language, violence, aggressivity

Disclaimer: Storyline, events and characters are fictitious, I only borrow BTS’ members name and physical appearance. Some events may be inspired by historical ones, but they aren’t accurate. Please keep in mind English isn’t my first language, I still lack vocabulary, I do some mistakes and my sentences may not be as pretty as natives’ speaker ones. Don’t hesitate to correct me and give me some advice, I would be more than happy to improve!

<< Previous chapter 

___

He kept me in his arms for few minutes, until I calmed down. My head resting on his torso, I could feel the soft fabric of his tunic against my cheek and appreciate his fragrance. Then he asked me if I was able to walk. Thinking about how miserable I looked like, I gathered what little dignity I had left to stand up and walk by myself.

His hand around my waist to help me to walk, we climbed the stairs and entered a huge room. Everything was so bright it dazzled me.

“Mina! SooJin!” In an instant, two young girls appeared and bowed at us. “Take care of her. Give her a bath, comb her hair and find a pretty dress for her.”

The girl with braided hair took the place of the General and the smaller girl came on my right side to take my arm and help me to walk. As soon as he was certain I was in good hands, the General left the room.

Mina and SooJin led me to a bathroom. A huge metal bathtub enthroned in the center of the room, candles made a cozy and reassuring atmosphere. Another lady, a bit older than SooJin and Mina, was already busy filling up the bathtub with hot water. The feeling of my dress being untied stopped me analyzing the room and made me step back, looking horrified at the two girls.

“I’m sorry Miss, I didn’t want to scare you.” The smaller girl bowed at me.

I kept my arms close to my chest to protect myself. The lady came slowly in front of me and bowed.

“Miss don’t be afraid. You are safe here.” These women spoke so formally to me it made me confused. “Let me introduce myself, I’m HyeRin.” Then she showed off the girl with braided hair. “Here is SooJin.” And the smaller one “and here is Mina. We are the General’s servants, and yours as well.”

Her tone was so calm and reassuring I let SooJin to delicately untie my corset and Mina to remove the remains of my thorn petticoat. Their gestures were slow, making me feel like being in porcelain. Mina cut the tie that was supposed to keep my hair up.

Once undressed, the girls took my hands to help me to get into the bathtub. The water was hot, at the perfect temperature. I curled up to feel the water on my shoulders and closed my eyes for a while. It felt good and comforting, like a nice gentle and warm hug.

“Miss, I’ll start by soaping your back.” I reopened my eyes at Mina’s voice and lift my back.

They were so polite and formal with me, calling me Miss, even though we were probably the same age. The sight of my arms caught my attention. Except the mud, they were covered by bruises, blue, green, and red spots. Then my wrist, bruised and lacerated. I looked pitiful. Examining my hands, I saw more wounds, earth, and sand under my broken nails. I did not even want to imagine what my face should look like. While SooJin was washing my legs and Mina my arms, I let my mind wander. I tried to remember what and how it happened, how I ended up here.

That face, this long bright blond hair, this dark gaze, I have already met that General before. “No Sir, he won’t go anywhere, he still needs care to recover properly!” I remembered saying this, but I cannot tell in which circumstances. I forced my brain to remember my name and where I was from, in vain. “Here is the prisoner you asked for.” That was what the leader said, the man who ordered to lock me in a cage. The General asked for me then. He was the one who claimed me. He was responsible for my horrible trip through the country, and now he asked his servants to take care of me. I was looking for the meaning of it all.

“Miss, which fragrance do you prefer?”

HyeRin’s question brought me back to the present time. I was standing up, in front of a mirror, wrapped in a towel, HyeRin on my right holding two perfume bottles, while Mina and SooJin were arranging a dress. I looked at the pitiful girl facing the mirror: me. Palpating the face that was supposed to be mine, hollow cheeks, a purple bruise on the chin, a red mark on the left cheekbone, dried lips. I was unrecognisable. I held back my tears.

“I think the floral one will suit you the most.” Said HyeRin with a kind smile.

Once the chiffon dress put on, my hair combed, the floral perfume sprayed on me and my wrists bandaged, SooJin led me to another room, a dining room. The table was set with delicious dishes. SooJin invited me to take a seat before wishing me a good appetite. I stared at the food in front of me. Japchae, kimchi, kimbap, vegetables, even kimchi-jigae and fruits woke up my hunger. The sight and the smell of those delicious dishes remembered me how empty my stomach was. However, I did not move a bit. It was suspicious. What was the aim of this? From taking me across the country in inhuman conditions to giving me a bath, a beautiful dress, a decent appearance and now a sumptuous meal. The General wasn’t known to be a gentle and attentive man but more as an amazing ruthless warrior and fine strategist. What was his strategy then? What did he plan to do with me?

“So, someone told me you were not eating.” I haven’t heard him entering. “I won’t believe you if you tell me you’re not hungry.”

I didn’t look at him, staring at the food and sparkling tableware.

“SooJin! Haven't you found anything better?”

I lifted my eyes to see the General standing before me, pointing at me with his hand holding a glass full of an unknown liquid, probably alcohol. Apparently, I was not to his liking.

“My General, I’m sorry, it was the only dress left.” SooJin answered and bowed.

“Alright, I see, thank you SooJin.” Then she left the room.

“Usually I am the one who fears being poisoned.” The General explained while taking a seat in front of me. “See.” He took chopsticks to show me. “Silver.” He took a radish from a plate to put it in his mouth. “Silver reacts when it comes in contact with a poison.”

I didn’t answer nor move a bit, staring at the kimchi-jigae bowl. The smell through my nostrils made my stomach gurgling. The General chuckled a bit to that sound.

“Moreover, I wouldn’t use poison to kill you. I’m not a coward, I have my honour, I look at the death in the eyes of my opponent.” He calmly said with a smirk.

His last words froze my blood, here I recognised the merciless warrior described by gossips. He also had in his mind the idea to kill me then, I was right.

“You were way more talkative and virulent last time we met!”

To these words I looked at him into his eyes. So, it was not an impression, I have already met him before.

“Wow, what is that furious gaze for?” He laughed and took another sip from his glass.

I have not said a word since I arrived here. What could I tell him? Thank him for his hospitality and curse him for making me go through hell?

“Perhaps, you don’t remember me, don’t you?” He looked at me with a serious face, raising an eyebrow. Everything I knew about him were from the gossips and stories about his battles. This man was already a legend. Half admired; half feared. However, I could not judge by myself yet nor remember what impression he left on me last time we met.

“Alright…” He finished his drink and got up. “Try to eat something and to get some rest, at least. SooJin will show you your bedroom.” He spoke calmly, pausing between his sentences. He took few steps away before stopping and turning back at me. “Also, there is a guard at your door, so you are safe here. Good night damsel.” He tilted his head slightly before leaving.

                                                           *** 

Beautiful, Bones, and Cats: .And you could see it in her eyes, she kept all the hearts she put before her own. Owner Surrender Warrior. LoverAngel ZENA SUNSHINE AMAZING SENIOR ALERT!! ID# 5H308 9 yrs old TO BE KILLED 2/14/19 “...and you could see it in her eyes; where she kept all the hearts she put before her own.” 🕊 owner surrender, warrior, lover, angel. Shy and mellow Zena Sunshine is so sweet. Sadly her family decided to surrender her to a Kill Shelter after 9 years in the home! As the reason they stated that they cannot keep her in the home during renovation and are unable to rehome her :( Zena lived in harmony with 2 children - 2 and 9 years old - and was friendly, affectionate, playful and gentle around them. She is friendly around strangers too and allows them to pet her. Let's help this sweetheart find a new forever home! One, where a renovation is not the reason for leaving her behind! Please share! Volunteer Misha Barbour writes: There are so many opportunities to find a “favorite” at a shelter. Favorite size, favorite breed, favorite personality. It’s impossible for me to choose amongst the first two. But if I’m honest my favorite personality is the shy-but-secretly-spunky girl. Freudian? Maybe, though my shy days are spottier with age. But I love a strong, independent spirit combined with the grace that can only exist after years of a full life lived. “Lived,” meaning the ups and downs, and Zena Sunshine has had both. Zena comes to us as an owner surrender, living with one family for all of her 9 years. And though she turns warm and friendly, spunky and bright with time, she is cautious initially as anyone is when all past experiences haven’t been good. She’s also obviously been a mama more than one time over, so one can assume she’s known nurture but also loss. But before you start feeling sympathy for Zena you’ll want to leash her up for a walk to the park. Then watch her stroll turn to strut, her eyes turn up at their corners, and her mouth fall open into the grin of a girl the moment the sun hits her face. Just be ready with treats and photos? Fine, but don’t expect many smiles or dawdle. Zena has more on her mind. Like exploring, snuggling, looking, seeing, being seen. And feeling loved. Another volunteer writes: "A volunteer says:There is no place like home! A precious sentence Zena Sunshine holds close to her heart like a gold locket. She belonged to a family for nine long years and yearns to be once again a beloved member but forever this time. Zena Sunshine is a stern beauty who at times offers a glimpse of a smile. With her "familiars" at the care center, she wags her tail, ventures on a bench for caresses and kisses or even goes for a run through open pens. After a good walk, Zena Sunshine opens up in the park, searching the leaves, nearing peacefully dogs and birds and finally rests her body on her caretaker's lap, asking for pets and dreaming of a new home. Will you open your heart to beautiful Zena and let more sunshine into your life? Come and meet her soon at the Manhattan Care Center!" MY VIDEO: Zena Sunshine is pure perfection <3 https://youtu.be/MKoOZl2XCy8 ZENA SUNSHINE, ID# 54308, 9yrs old, XX lbs, Manhattan Animal Care Center, Medium Mixed Breed Cross, Brown Brindle Female, Owner Surrender Reason: O is unable to keep P in home during renovation and unable to successfully rehome. Shelter Assessment Rating: LEVEL 1 (the best!) No young children (under 5) due to some touch sensitivity on her back legs Medical Behavior Rating: OWNER SURRENDER NOTES - BASIC INFORMATION: Zena is approximately a 9 year old female brown brindle medium mixed breed dog. Zena lived with previous owner for 9 years. Zena was surrendered because her owner could not care for her. Zena previously lived with four adults and two children. aged 2 and 9 years old. Zena is described as being friendly, affectionate, playful and is gentle with them and she is described as being friendly with strangers. Zena will allow strangers to pet her. Zena has not interacted with other dogs. She previously lived with a 1 year old female cat. Zena would chase the cat around and her previous owner would have to tell her no to stop chasing after the cat. Zena would snap when the cat would swat her. Zena is not bothered when her food or bowl is touched while she is eating. Zena is not bothered when a toy, treat or bone is taken away from her. Zena has never bitten another animal or human. She is housetrained and has a low energy level. Other Notes: Zena is not bothered when she hears fireworks or loud noises. Zena is not bothered when being bathed. Zena has never had her nails trimmed. Zena is not bothered when being told to get off of furniture. When an unfamiliar approaches her owner during walks, Zena will growl at the person. Has this dog ever had any medical issues? No Medical Notes: Zena has no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know Zena is a friendly, affectionate, playful, shy and mellow dog. When at home, Zena will follow you around and likes to be with you. Zena loves to play with chew bones. Zena was kept mostly indoors and was fed Pedrigee dry and wet dog food once a day. Zena is house trained and will go potty outdoors. Zena has never been crate trained. For exercise, Zena is taken out for walks 4-5 times a day. Zena will sometimes pull hard on the leash. When off the leash, Zena will stay by your side. BEHAVIOR NOTES: Means of surrender (length of time in previous home): Owner Surrender (in home 9 yrs) Previously lived with: 4 Adults, 2 children (2 &9 yrs), 1 cat Behavior toward strangers: Friendly, allows petting Behavior toward children: Friendly, affectionate, playful, gentle Behavior toward cats: Chases housemate, snaps when swatted Resource guarding: None reported Bite history: None reported Housetrained:Yes Energy level/descriptors:Low energy level Other Notes: Previous owner says "Zena is not bothered when she hears fireworks or loud noises. Zena is not bothered when being bathed. Zena has never had her nails trimmed. Zena is not bothered when being told to get off of furniture. When an unfamiliar approaches her owner during walks, Zena will growl at the person. Zena is a friendly, affectionate, playful, shy and mellow dog. When at home, Zena will follow you around and likes to be with you. Zena loves to play with chew bones. Zena was kept mostly indoors and was fed Pedrigee dry and wet dog food once a day. Zena is house trained and will go potty outdoors. Zena has never been crate trained. For exercise, Zena is taken out for walks 4-5 times a day. Zena will sometimes pull hard on the leash." SHELTER ASSESSMENT - Date of assessment: 8-Feb-2019 Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: None Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Soft, loose body Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Accepts contact Handling comments: Shied away when back legs were touched Arousal Jog: Followed loosely Arousal comments: Knock: Approached loosely Knock Comments: Toy: No response Toy Comments: PLAYGROUP NOTES – DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: 2/8/19: When off leash with another dog, Zena Sunshine initially is soft when greeting. However, she will stiffen slightly with prolonged greeting. INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake: 7-Feb-2019 MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial: 7-Feb-2019 Summary: Whale eye, low growl, loose body ENERGY LEVEL: Zena Sunshine has a low energy level. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: Level 1 Behavior Asilomar H - Healthy Recommendations: No young children (under 5) Recommendations comments: Zena Sunshine has some touch sensitivity on her back legs, so due to this we recommend she not be placed in a home with no young children. Potential challenges: Handling/touch sensitivity Potential challenges comments: Zena Sunshine has been noted to become uncomfortable with handling her back legs. It is important to always go slow and give dog the option to walk away from any social interaction. Zena should never be forced to approach anything that she is uncomfortable with or to submit to petting or handling. It should always be Zenas choice to approach a new person or thing. Sena Sunshine may do best in an initially calm and quiet home environment and should be given time to acclimate to her new surroundings. Please see the handout on Touch Sensitivity to help manage this behavior. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES 7-Feb-2019 Spay-Neuter Waiver Documentation [Spay/Neuter Waiver - Age] It is the policy of ACC not to perform surgery on any animal over the age of 8-10 years due to the higher risks incurred in a shelter setting. The veterinarian is hereby issuing a permanent spay/neuter waiver, from the spay/neuter requirements of the City of NY due to the estimated age of this animal. ACC does recommend you consult with your veterinarian to determine if surgical sterilization is appropriate. 7-Feb-2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~9yrs based on O hx. consistent with exam Microchip noted on Intake? scanned negative. placed by LVT History : Surrendered by O. O is unable to keep P in home during renovation and unable to successfully rehome. Subjective / Observed Behavior - BAR, ears pinned back and whale eyed. Sniffs hand and then walks away. Low growling, tail low, loose body during examination. Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - none Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears have moderate brown exudate, AU; no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: did not evaluate PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: No murmur ausculted; CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: intact female. no scar or tattoo seen. 2inch pendulous mammary mass MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites,healthy hair coat; multiple small dermal non haired masses throughout body, ranging from 3mm to 1cm -- along L caudal ear, right shoulder, right caudal antebrachium and left flank. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal. Assessment multiple dermal masses r/o benign vs malignant mammary mass r/o benign vs malignant otitis externa Prognosis: fair to good. Plan: ear cleaning claro otic -- none in stock at this time recommend behavioral assessment. recommend biopsies of masses SURGERY: Permanent waiver due to age *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications.

*swoops in to rock the boat* Your blog gives me life; I hope you know that! If you're feelin' it, love, give me a Phil headcanon. Hit me with anything. I'm ready.

I have so many Phil headcanons, Anna. Good god, so many.

Here are some of them, in bullet-point form.

* In contrast to Chris, Phil had a rather typical upbringing. His parents have been married forever; his father worked as a junior high school math teacher and his mother as a chemical engineer before they retired. He was the third of four children, with a brother and two sisters. He was born and raised in Maine and had never been any farther than Boston until he got accepted to the Academy.

* Phil is a total social justice warrior. He makes it a point to know about systemic oppression not only within human culture, but in alien cultures too, and he stands up against it at every single turn, from saving the environment to protecting labor rights to campaigning on behalf of the disenfranchised in any given population. Phil needs a cause.

* This is a major reason he went into women’s health. He’d known since he was five that he wanted to be a doctor of some kind, but he started reading a lot in junior high and high school about the sociopolitical and socioeconomic history of human women, and he recognized, immediately, that women’s reproductive capacity has, in one way or another, always been used as a weapon against them: a reason that they were the “weaker” sex, a reason to not pay them enough or relegate them to lower status work, a reason to exclude them from the workforce altogether. Which, Phil thought immediately, was bullshit - women are so goddamn powerful that they are often taught to be afraid of themselves. So he decided to go into women’s health primarily because he wanted to be an advocate for women.

* He’s trained everywhere. He went through traditional medical training on Earth, but he also worked with physicians on Vulcan, did a short stint in a Bolian sexual health clinic (which was…enlightening), participated in Andorian fertility research, and in his absolute favorite job ever, apprenticed with traditional midwives on Bajor. He’s read a lot about Klingon birthing practices and would love nothing more than to see that. That much concentrated female power in one room? Holy shit.

* He’s taken the appropriate courses to officiate marriage between any two or more Federation citizens. Because, again, social justice warrior; if anybody wants to give any consenting citizens any grief about who they love and want to marry, then by god, Phil will marry them his own damn self. (This becomes relevant in the PikeEpic, to heartbreaking effect.)

* Like Len, he’s a bit of a traditionalist as a doctor. He’s got tricorders and biobeds and all the latest equipment, and he’s deeply glad for it when he uses it; but he much prefers to palpate an injury, to feel the burn of a fever under the skin, to feel the thud of a pulse under his fingertips, than to rely on a machine to tell him all of that.

* He’s a pacifist, but he can throw a punch. It’s how he and Chris became friends. Chris tried to intervene on a guy who played deaf to his date’s “no.” Phil was impressed and lent a hand. (Then he fixed Chris’ nose.)

* He has never been shy about his sexuality. He told his parents “Mom, Dad, I’m bisexual,” and his mom said, “let’s see how second grade goes, okay?” In terms of both experience and attraction, he sits at a firm three on the Kinsey scale, though he will absolutely decry that as an outdated, gender-essentialist, and speciesist metric.

* He rags on Chris for putting too much sugar in his coffee. Chris nods and smiles and then stirs in another three packets.

* He was a total Leonard McCoy fanboy before he met him. When Chris told Phil he’d recruited Len, Phil kind of lost his mind for a few minutes about getting to meet the guy who created the neural grafting technique. Now he thinks of his relationship with Len as…well, perhaps not an exact analogue of Chris’ with Jim, but definitely as more of a partnership-mentorship than simply professional colleagues.

* He fell in love with Chris’ eye crinkles first. They were just sitting and talking, and Chris broke into a huge, delighted smile about something, and Phil’s heart actually stuttered in his chest. It took him about ninety seconds to fall completely over the cliff and into…oh.