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strangersteddierthings · 6 months

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No Regrets - Part Three

This one got longer than I expected, so it's only about Spring Break. We return to the apocalypse next part.

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

"-eve?"

Waking up again is disorienting. His head aches like the beginning of a migraine. There was something he was thinking about but it's fading quickly. A conversation in a boathouse...? That's not right. The boathouse was empty. The police had beat them there.

"Steve?"

No. No conversation in a boathouse. But there was a phone call. He knows he remembers that. Joyce had called last night. Her and Murray sharing a phone between them as Steve- Oh! Right. Steve told them he knew about Hopper in Russia.

"You have to go, though. Hopper is alive and waiting. And there's a demogorgon. Demodogs, too. You have to kill them all. Any connection to the Upside Down left alive helps Vecna. It's like having a tether to here makes him stronger."

"I can't just abandon El," Joyce sounds conflicted, and Steve gets it. He does.

"You aren't. You're going to be giving her back her dad. She's got Jonathan and Will and Mike. Argyle, too, if he wants to be there. Just. Just get them on the road and back here as soon as you can. If they don't leave soon than Brenner will-"

"Brenner? What do you mean Brenner? He's dead. Right? He's supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, well, he's not. He- I don't know the full details, just. I was just given an overview because, y'know, other shit was going down. But he makes El relive a lot of traumatic shit from her past and yeah, it gets her back her powers, but she's just a kid. She's just a kid."

"Her abilities, they aren't gone?" It's Murray who asks.

"No. She's just traumatized, in a different way. It was... it was Jonathan who said this, actually, to me. I mean, he hasn't said it yet, and if everything goes the way I want, he won't need to say it ever, but that's- sorry, that's not important. He said he thinks El blocked her abilities because she lost Hopper. An internal block, you know? 'Cause she couldn't save him with them, so what was the point of having them?"

"And you think bringing Hopper back will free her of that block?" Murray asks.

Steve can't help it. He laughs. "Hell no. I think years of therapy might, but having her dad will help. There's no way it hurts, right? Also, uh, you're the parent here, Joyce, so I'll let you decide what to tell her, but the big, awful thing that Brenner made her relive? It was a massacre. At the lab, when she was there. Another guy, another number, killed a bunch of the people there. It was El who saved the remainder. She stopped him from killing anyone else by opening the first gate to the Upside Down. She tossed him in and closed it. She's not a monster. Oh, that part you have to tell her. She's not a monster."

"Steve!"

There's more to the phone call, Steve knows he knows that but there's yelling and it's distracting.

"Steve!!"

"What?" Steve snaps, both with his shout and back into himself. He's sitting at the picnic in Forest Hills. Everyone is looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

"You okay?" Robin asks, "we've been trying to get your attention for a while now."

"What? Yeah, sorry," Steve says, distracted, standing up and looking around. Eddie's trailer is right there, and Wayne's truck is parked in front. He knows Wayne. Knew Wayne? He's in charge of the gardens at home base. A real green thumb, not that you can tell by looking at the trailer now. "You think that with Fred's death, they'll stop suspecting Eddie?"

"What? We don't know that they suspect Eddie," Dustin is quick to say, "I know he didn't do it, and so do you so-"

"Yeah, I know! I do know that, but Chrissy died in his home and then he ran. Of course, he's a suspect. But he was in jail last night. So. They can't suspect him still, right?"

Nancy purses her lips, giving Steve a look he knows isn't good. "Well, it will depend on when they apprehended Eddie, which we don't even know they did. How do you know he was in jail last night?"

"Good point. I don't, not for sure. But Wayne might," Steve says as he starts walking away. He can hear everyone at the picnic table shouting for him and scrambling to follow. Steve picks up speed, dashing up the steps and pounding on the door before anyone catches up.

"Steve, what are you doing," Max hisses, because she's the fastest and therefore the closest.

"I just gotta-"

"Can I help you?" Wayne Munson greets, voice even. Steve watches as his eyes sweep the group, pausing on Nancy before coming back to Steve.

"Hopefully. Uh, I'm a friend of- well, no that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you. I'm not Eddie's friend, but I want to be, and Dustin here is, so we just wanted to know if you could tell us if Eddie's okay?" Steve says. "You already talked to Nancy yesterday, but she didn't know that we, like, knew him. Have you heard from Eddie?"

Wayne eyes him with suspicion, which is fair, "I ain't heard from him."

"Please," Steve says, because he's got to try one more time. Either Wayne doesn't know for real, or he's lying because he doesn't trust Steve. He's not sure he'll be able to tell which is which, but he has to ask again, "I swear that we just want to help Eddie. Whatever happened to Chrissy wasn't his fault, I know that. I just need. I need to know he's not- not out there, alone and scared. Please."

Wayne stares him down and Steve refuses to look away. Wayne's eyes flick away from him to the single police cruiser still stationed nearby, then back. "Get in here."

He doesn't need told twice. Wayne retreats into the trailer and Steve follows. Immediately his eyes jump to where the gate will form. Currently it just looks like water damage on the ceiling, but Steve knows. No gate yet, but it'll be there tomorrow. Probably fully formed by the time Vecna tries to take Max.

Robin, the last one in, shuts the door behind her gently.

"I told her yesterday that Eddie didn't do this," Wayne nods his head towards Nancy but he never takes his eyes off Steve. "Didn't stop them from arresting him."

"Thank God," Steve breaths out, which is the wrong thing to say, given how quickly Wayne's face morphs to anger, so he quickly adds, "shit, I mean, that means, he was in police custody when they found another victim last night, right? That'll prove he's innocent."

Wayne doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes his time looking at each and every one of them, lingering on Nancy before settling on Max. "You live 'cross the way, don't ya?"

Max looks surprised to be recognized. "Yeah."

"Did you see anything?"

"I saw..." she trails off, brows furrowing as she thinks. She looks from Wayne to Steve. He doesn't know what she sees on his face, but he watches as she steels herself, a decidion made, before looking back to Wayne and saying, "What I saw is whatever I'll need to have seen to help Eddie."

"You'd lie to the police for Eddie?"

Max and Wayne have a silent conversation following the question, judging by their stare down and raising and following brow lines. When Max does speak, she says, "I've lied to police for worse people."

"Huh," is all Wayne says as he settles back against the counter behind him.

"Thank you," Steve says, even as his mind starts to calculate. They'll probably keep him the full 48 hours, since there isn't evidence enough to charge him. Right? There isn't really any evidence. Except, perhaps, what Eddie might have told them. Shit. Would Eddie say anything? "Can you let me know when they release him? Whatever happened, whatever he saw, probably freaked him out. I don't want him to feel alone. I mean, we don't."

Dustin is looking at him now like he's grown a second head but Wayne. Wayne is looking at him like he's made a realization. Drawn some unknown conclusion that he must approve of because he nods. "Sure, son."

"You got pen and paper? I'll write down my number."

The silence from his friends is deafening and does not bode well for Steve. He just knows they're going to bombard him as soon as they leave the trailer.

Which is exactly what happens. They wait until they're back by their cars before starting in, though.

"Steve, what the fuck was that?" Dustin says.

"How did you know he got arrested?" Max demands.

"Steve, you are acting so strange right now," Robin says, worry painted across her face.

"Explain," is all Nancy says, crossing her arms.

Should he? Does he even know what's happening? No. Not really. He's got memories of a future that's bleak and dark and terrible and he doesn't want it to come true. Are they even memories? Did those events even happen? He doesn't know for sure. All he does know if he wants to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening though. He doesn't want to have regrets about.... about something.

"We don't win," he says. "We don't win this one. Or, we didn't? We might now. Things are different this time."

"What?" Robin asks.

Steve ignores the question, giving instead more of the information he knows, "Hopper's alive. Joyce and Murray are on their way to Russia to save him."

"WHAT?" he's not sure who asked. Maybe all of them.

"And El is- I don't know. On her way, I hope. But she won't have her powers when she gets here. Or maybe she will? If she believes she's not a monster and really is the hero."

"Steve, you are not making any sense!"

"I know!" Steve shouts and drops into a squat. "I know! I'm not the- the figure it out guy, or the plans guy, or whatever. I'm just the guy who knows things he shouldn't, and I can't tell if it's because I actually lived it, or if I was just given knowledge about it somehow. I know the Upside Down has a red storm that never ends, more democreatures that just gorgons or dogs, and that Vecna slash Henry slash One is a goddamn monster who opens a giant hell gate and causes the apocalypse."

"Whoa, whoa," Dustin sooths, and when Steve looks up, Dustin's got both hands up and approaching like Steve's a wild animal. He kind of feels like one right now. "Slow down and explain."

There's a lot Steve could say. Should say. Steve is kind and soft, even in the face of the end of the world, but he's also learning that he's a little ruthless. Not heartless, but enough that he can see where they are, where they need to be, and how to get there in the easiest way possible. His eyes flick to Max. "Chrissy and Fred. They were both seeing the guidance counselor. You've seen them both there, right Max?"

"I- yeah. Yeah, I have."

"And Nancy, you've got a hunch, right? You need to go to the library to check it out?"

She narrows her eyes at him but nods.

"Okay. So, uh, let's use that as proof. You and Robin go check out your hunch, and I'll stick with Dustin and Max. Take Max to see Ms. Kelley and see if she'll tell Max anything that connects them?"

"You already know what we'll find, don't you?" Nancy asks, and Steve shrugs. "You're right. I won't believe you. Not without this proof. So, we'll go, Robin and me. And when we meet up, I expect you to tell me what we learned."

Max is completely silent the entire drive, an exact opposite of Dustin who shoots off so many questions in a row that Steve can barely remember the first by the time he's onto the next. Not that it would matter, because Dustin doesn't pause between any of his questions or comments to let Steve answer anyway.

Max launches herself from car almost as soon as Steve pulls up to the curb with a loudly groaned, "finally" before she slams the door and bounds across the street.

"Steve! Are you even listening to me!?" Dustin has finally lost steam or ran out of breath or something.

"Are you done yelling at me?" Steve retorts.

Dustin lets out a really big sigh then says, "For now. I just- Let's start with this. How do you know that Hopper's alive?"

"Joyce and Murray confirmed it when I talked to them on the phone. They're supposed to be getting El and crew heading back this way while they go to rescue him, but I don't really know how that's going."

Dustin squints at him. "I thought you could see the future now."

"No. I saw the future, so like, lived it or something. And it's like... You watch Back to the Future yet?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so like, the part where his family starts to vanish from the picture? Because he made his mom want to bang him-?"

"That is a disgusting oversimplification of the plotline, Steve."

"-it's like that. Except I want to change the events because we definitely end up in the bad timeline."

"Okay. Say I believe you. You said we don't win this time. Explain that."

Steve sighs. "Can that wait for like, everyone? Explain it all at once?"

"What made it so bad you have to alter the course of all of human existence?" Dustin demands.

"The Upside Down breaks through, man," Steve says, "Like, toxic air and no more sunlight or blue skies kinda bad. Full on, end of the world apocalypse type shit."

"Shit. We, like, lose lose," Dustin says in a small voice Steve doesn't think he's ever heard Dustin use before he huffs and falls out of view with a click and the sound of squeaking leather. Steve watches as Dustin reclines his seat back so he can stare up at the ceiling of the BMW.

"Yeah," Steve says before they fall into silence until Max sprints back, screaming for him to drive before she's even got the door closed behind her and certainly isn't wearing her seatbelt yet.

They all converge at the school, and Steve tells them what Nancy and Robin learned at the library, then Max puts together the thread that connected Chrissy and Fred, and he has to watch, again, as she accepts she's going to die. She even looks to him, as if he'll confirm that with a shake of his head or a nod.

He just blinks back at her until she looks away.

They want answers he isn't ready to give. Not until tomorrow, after Vecna tries to take Max. Given how today has gone, tomorrow shouldn't be much of a change. Nancy and Robin will still go the Pennhurst, and Steve will take Max everywhere she wants to go, but this time he'll be ready. It's not too late, so the little music store down from Melvald's will still be open. Hopefully they have Kate Bush handy. He'll make sure Lucas has a backup cassette player and-

"Wait. Lucas should be told. He should be here. Why isn't he..." Steve trails off, trying to remember why Lucas would be here. He went to party with the basketball team and- and what? There's something he's missing. Something changed. His head hurts and the white noise is back, and it hits him so suddenly he sways and stumbles backwards until he hits a wall.

"Steve!" Robin gasps his name and rushes to hold him up. Dustin is at his other side just as quick.

"I'm ok," Steve says with eyes closed. He can't explain it, but he's changed something. He knows he has. Lucas is with them tomorrow, he remembers that, and there's this feeling that he should be here now. That he should have shown up at the school, but the reason eludes him. Slips from his grasp like he's trying to hold water. "It's- there was something that was supposed to happen. Something that made Lucas find us here at the school. I remember that. I- I almost hit him with a lamp. But he's not here. He didn't- something's changed. Whatever happened before didn't happen again."

"What, like, you changed the past?" Dustin asks.

The laugh Steve lets out is manic, even to his own ears. "I don't know! I can't remember! It's there, the why, but I can't reach it. It's faded, man, like the picture. It's faded."

"Okay, I think it's time we get some rest," Nancy says. "Dustin, you'll radio Lucas tonight and fill him in. Tell him Steve or I will pick him up tomorrow morning to join us. Let's go everyone, before someone does show up."

Nancy takes Dustin and Max, and Robin sticks with Steve. She doesn't even question his detour to the music store, just helps him find the Kate Bush tape. Doesn't even raise an eyebrow when he buys two cassette players, five blank tapes, and a tape recorder.

"Who is the mix tape for?" Robin asks him only once they're at Steve's house and settled in for the night in front of the fancy stereo in Steve's living room. Robin's called her parents already and told them she was staying with a friend, and they had leftovers for dinner from.

"Just in case. Now, shh," Steve says, and once Robin has properly quieted, he pressed record on the tape recorder and play on the stereo. He's already found the track he wants, so it's just a matter of waiting the song out, pausing the tape recorder quickly, then rewinding the tape. He goes too far back, so his finger just hovers over the record button until Running Up That Hill comes back on, and he repeats the process. Over and over again, until the hour long tape is filled with nothing but one song.

Robin watches him do it in complete silence. She doesn't move or shuffle until after he's paused the recording, stilling again once he hits record. He knows she doesn't understand why, but also that she doesn't need to understand. He knows that she knows he'll explain as soon as he's able.

He's just afraid to say too much right now. He can remember tomorrow; the Pennhurst plan, how it is supposed to go based on what remembers Nancy and Robin saying. Max will bully him into driving her around, and they'll end up at Billy's grave. He'll be ready this time, he already knows the answers they're seeking but he doesn't want to risk too much.

He has a plan. And it'll work. It has too.

Because he can't remember what happens after. Patrick dies, and there's... water? A lake? But why is Patrick at a lake in the dark? He isn't, is the thing. It's like there are two memories overlapping in Steve's mind and he doesn't know which is real. Or if either of them are.

There's a memory of... of Eddie? Eddie talking about Patrick floating but there's also a memory of hearing it on the news, Patrick found dead in his room, murdered the same way as Chrissy and Fred with no sign of forced entry in his house. Both memories feel real, but Steve doesn't know, can't tell, which is.

Robin and he falls sleep wrapped around each other that night.

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @apomaro-mellow @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorrow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77 @wonderland-girl143-blog @krazyperson @sevenmerrymagpies

#steddie #my fic #time travel au #apocalypse au #butterfly effect au #what was the conclusion wayne came to i hear you ask?#he can see how desperate steve is to help eddie and maybe thinks steves got a crush on his nephew #also where is lucas you might also be asking #Jason cant go on a dangerous manhunt if the man hes hunting is already caged so Lucas doesnt get roped into that #also i see yall questioning the steddie and trust me that it is. will be #just hes in yknow jail for now so steve can't exactly be climbing him like a tree yet. in the spring break parts.#next part however? well. youll see how the end of the world is going

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jaylaxies · 2 years

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CAN'T YOU SEE ME?

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader (ft. mingyu from svt)

GENRE/CW: smut, the reader is three years older than heeseung, protected sex, slight cunnilingus and fingering, childhood friends to lovers, angst, fluff, mentions of cheating, mentions of nicknames, mentions of food/eating, mentions of jake, i'm sorry mingyu </3 lmk if i missed something!

WC: 11k words

SYNOPSIS: lee heeseung first met you when he was four. to him, you were the epitome of an angel, the one who was selflessly available for the bambi eyed boy. at the age of ten, he learned that he liked you, wanting you to be his babysitter and no one else. he knew what he felt for you was love by the time you were in your third year of college, him being determined to confess soon, also entering the college as a freshman. but will he be able to win your heart with the entry of your newfound boyfriend?

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni.

A/N: hihi, sweethearts <33 this one is for all the hee noonas out there! it turned out longer than intended aaa i really hope you enjoy reading it! all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated, it keeps me motivated! :3 iloveyou guys, happy reading~ <33

As a seven-year-old, going to school was the most fascinating part of your day, even more so when you got to observe and take in the scenery outside, your curious mind trying to record the weather patterns and asking your teacher about why it changed as per the course of time.

It was a given at how proud your parents were to see your zeal to understand and learn whatever intrigued your mind, their wide smiles while you asked them questions was enough to prove that. Albeit, they did find themselves speechless at certain times, not having the answer with them.

Although, you were genuinely confused to see a big truck parked near the premises of your house as your school bus dropped you back home. The surroundings were scattered with different boxes of all sizes scattered around the front lawn of your neighbouring house, a few strangers carrying those boxes inside.

Your eyes skimmed to your mother, who was gracefully laughing at something another woman had said, you had never seen her before though. At that very moment, you decided you liked that woman for making your mom smile carelessly and you greeted her by bowing down, introducing yourself with a smile that reached your eyes.

“Aren't you a little angel?” the lady smiled at you, taking your small hands and shaking them.

While most adults didn't bother with kids, you were more than ecstatic to have met someone who was keen to know about your hobbies, your mother watching fondly as you replied to her questions with enthusiasm.

Your lips soon turned into a frown as you saw a little figure standing behind Lee, and you gasped when he let out a whine to get her attention, not expecting any noise of such sort. Your mother cooed gently, striking up a conversation with Mrs. Lee again as you observed the boy in front of you.

You weren't sure what intrigued you about him so much. Maybe it was the fact that he had pretty big eyes and a small face with puffed-up cheeks. Adding to that, he held a bambie plushie in his hands — surprisingly resembling his face.

“Won't you introduce yourself, sweetie?” Mrs. Lee asked the little boy, who finally broke eye contact with you to nod at his mother with a gulp.

With his hands outstretched, he spoke up in a sweet voice, “I am Lee Heeseung and I am four.”

At that very instant, the wind blew softly, messing his hair up, which he patted hurriedly before stretching his hand again. His curious eyes fixated on you once more. He looked like a porcelain doll to you with his delicate frame.

You gently held his hand, telling him your name, which he repeated after you in an experimental manner, getting the pronunciation right on the second time with a nod, causing you to clap in delight at the little ball of sunshine.

“Mom look! He looks like Bambi!” you squealed and he looked around, confused at your sudden comment and his lip quivered, thinking that you called him the name of an animal in a funny manner.

Soon, his big eyes were filled with tears as he held on to his mother's leg, complaining that you called him a Bambi.

Never in your life had you been in a situation like this, leaving you clueless as the little boy sniffled in front of you, his mother bending down to wipe his cheeks, which were stained red with his crying.

“I'm sorry—” you softly fiddled with your fingers, feeling guilty for making him cry.

“Oh no, sweetheart! You were just complimenting his eyes, right?” his mother spoke up and you nodded. She gave you a reassuring smile and you noticed how her eyes looked exactly like Heeseung's.

She turned towards the crying boy again, “Did you hear that, Heeseung? She called your eyes pretty! Won't you say thank you to her?”

“She d—didn't make fun of me?” he softly inquired, clutching his plushie tighter.

“Of course not! She said that you have beautiful eyes!” her words made him turn to you.

“I—Thank you,” he softly whispered, tugging on your dress which made you bend down with caution.

He softly pressed his lips on your cheek in a feather-light kiss.

His ministrations made you giggle, and he learned that the situation was back to okay, so he followed your actions and showed you his adorable smile, eyelashes still wet from his crying session earlier.

That concluded your first meeting with Lee Heeseung, an angelic boy who was too sensitive around new people, however, he opened up to you in record time and wished to show you all his toys. Your name was his favourite word to say out loud and he sweetly waited for you to come back from school each day in hopes of playing with you.

To say you were his favourite person to play with would be an understatement, he went as far as giving you the Bambi plushie when he saw your face sporting a sad frown once you had come back from school.

Little Heeseung adored your existence.

You saw him grow up from a four-year-old to a ten-year-old. He was taller and talked a lot more, he didn't carry his plushies around anymore and most importantly, he loved causing trouble.

He had always gotten what he had asked for, kept like a spoiled Bambi prince. And the prince wanted no one else but you to babysit him. Mr and Mrs Lee were both busy in their own fields, business trips being a common venture for them.

However, leaving Heeseung alone was never an option for them. Taking him along wasn't one either with his constant demands and the need for attention, that wasn't something his parents could afford to take care of in the middle of their meetings. Neither was he too keen on the idea of having a complete stranger as his babysitter.

Which left them with his last resort — you.

Ten-year-old Heeseung was the epitome of a good boy when it concerned you, and that made your job of babysitting myriads easier, especially when you got a good amount of cash for it, which you tucked away in your savings safely.

“He's a spawn of satan!” the other babysitter had said, the one who gave up trying to feed him.

“He is?” you asked slowly, “But he's always been so quiet and understanding.”

Which was partially correct since he was on his best behaviour around you.

The babysitter just shook her head, “He threatened to not eat at first and when he got hungry, he took the matter into his own hands and proceeded to open the fridge. In conclusion, it was a disaster.” the sixteen-year-old explained and you wondered if Heeseung was capable of doing so.

Nevertheless, you nodded with a smile and took house keys from her, making your way to his house with your backpack to do homework in the meantime. You didn't understand what the babysitter had said, for, Heeseung happily sat at the dining table and ate his food without a spot of mess around him.

“Hey, Bambi!” you happily spoke up and he smiled when he saw you at his place, patting his hair once you ruffled it before sitting with him.

He told you all about his school stories and secrets, you heard it all attentively and helped him with his homework whilst you were doing your own alongside.

“You know Jake?” he asked, and you nodded with the memory of him mentioning his classmate.

“He likes a girl! Isn't that gross?” he scrunched his nose while solving the math problem in front of him.

“Why is that gross?” you inquired, a small smile on your face as you heard him talk.

“Is it not?” he questioned, tilting his head.

His family loved him, they really did. They were busy individuals still and hence, Heeseung was usually left alone, which is also why he didn't like meeting new people since either. He was curious about everything and somehow believed that you'll be the answer to all his questions.

“It is cute, don't you think? If you like someone then you share all your happiness and sadness with them! It's a happy feeling!” that's all you could tell the ten-year-old, not having faced such a situation before but that's what you had gathered from movies and books to date.

“Oh, it's fine if Jake is happy then,” he muttered, eliciting a laugh out of you.

“Can we have ice cream before mom comes back? Please?” his eyes shone and you pinched his cheek.

You were never the one to go out of your way and break the rules, especially when his mom had strict rules for him, including the one which stated that he will get his share of ice cream only once a week.

His big eyes pleaded in silence and you gave up, it was almost like taking care of your younger sibling as you didn't have any. You swore his eyes lit up at the seraphic treat, jumping with joy when he tasted it for the first time, kissing your knuckles right after as a gesture to say thank you.

Heeseung was perfectly fine to be around which further made you question if the babysitter just wanted a way to get an off for the day. He held your hand the entire walk, it was habitual since he always held his mom's hand, he finished his ice cream while explaining how to play the newest video game his parents got him last week, stating it was the coolest thing ever.

His mother was elated to see him silently reading his course book, sitting alongside you in harmony. She called you her lifesaver and you only shook your head, embarrassed at her usual sense of politeness as she gave you a little box of cookies which she picked up while coming back home, saying good night to you but was stopped.

Heeseung ran towards the door and hugged your taller frame, whining about you having to leave just when he was going to show you his video game and you promised that you'll give him your undivided attention the next time you come over.

“You can stay here for the night! Your house is next to ours anyways!” he proposed.

“I'll be back, yeah?” you sadly said, not having it in you to reject his offer, however, you did have to go back. His whine was loud as you closed the door behind him, chuckling at his usual antics.

That was the day Lee Heeseung had confirmed that you made him happy.

Even his diary was aware of the fact that at the ripe or age of fifteen, both your families had made a plan to go for a day out, the location being an amusement park. It was hard for him to not see you each day since you did spend the majority of your childhood with him. Being eighteen, you were devoted to entrances and college hunting, trying to stay close to your family by opting for the university nearby.

He had been so used to being near you, for, you were always there for him when his parents weren't, as a babysitter, as a friend, and as someone who made him happy.

You always accompanied him while walking back home from school, he treated you with dinners when you were asked to keep a watch on him. Nothing ever changed, he was still that kid who craved your attention.

Seeing you dressed up all pretty was enough to capture his attention for the day, following you around for every ride and activity you had wanted to do for the day as your parents sat down at a restaurant after a few rides themselves, leaving you alone with him.

“So,” he spoke up, voice deeper with the onset of puberty.

You had to look up at how tall he had gotten and you still remember the four-year-old Hee who cried in front of you, the fond memory tugging your lips up.

“So?” you repeated, getting your boba from the stall nearby and getting him his favourite ice cream, who you had memorized by now.

“College soon, huh?

Your eyes gleam and you nod, “I can't wait!”

“Why? Don't you like it here?” he asked with a tinge of hope that you'll stay.

You bit your lip, taking a sip of your boba before laughing softly, “I'm not going anywhere, I got into the HYBE University—”

You weren't even finished with your confession yet and were tackled into a hug, almost making your drink fall off with how close Heeseung held you, “Fuck, I thought you were going to leave!” he spoke up and you smacked his arm.

“Language!”

His actions might have been perceived as goofy for you. However, deep down, he was scared to lose you, the three-year age gap only added to his list of concerns. He knew that whatever he felt for you was something only restricted to you, a giddy feeling he didn't feel around anyone else but you.

An additional aspect that he had been afraid of would be your perception of him. He wondered if you had always ever seen him as a sibling figure, he had wished for it to be something more. Unlike the stupid protagonists in the romance novels — that's what he called them, he was aware of the feelings he harboured for you.

You ruffled his hair, an action which had become your habit now, his hugs always gave you a sense of comfort, something that you happily accepted.

“You look happy,” you pointed it out.

“Well, I wouldn't exactly be happy if my best friend leaves me alone here,” he explained, calling you a friend was the farthest he could go, but he would never refer to you as a sister, ever.

You raised your brow at that statement, “Best friend? What happened to Jake?” you teased lowly.

“You know what I mean!” he rolled his eyes, smiling at the laugh that bloomed out of you. “What are you looking forward to then?” his inquiry made you think for a second, sitting down on the closest bench before you proceed to answer.

“It's going to be a wholly new experience, a refreshing setting maybe? And I'm looking forward to new friendships, and a chance at more, I guess?” you shyly spoke up.

“A boyfriend you mean?” he deadpanned.

He wasn't very keen on knowing your desires anymore, you were never the one to talk about your love life, catching him off guard with your sudden revelation. You craned your head towards him, not noticing the switch in his tone despite the irritation being clear on his face.

“If I get the chance to have one then, yeah?” you smiled and he returned it, but it didn't reach his eyes.

His mood was sour till you got back home, the further plans included your dinner together. It wasn't silent, your parents had a lot to talk about the current political issues, which left you to stay mum and consume your food quietly. Heeseung didn't utter a word throughout the meal, he was deep in thought about something and you furrowed your brows when you saw him mindlessly playing with food.

“A penny for your thoughts?” you broke his session of overthinking ways to not let you get into a relationship, he didn't have any ideas still.

With the conclusion of dinner, your parents had left to sit in the living room, continuing with their discussions from before, leaving you with Heeseung to clear up the table.

“It's nothing.” He dismissed you in a beat.

“Are you sure?” you slowly asked, he was never the one to keep stuff to himself.

You weren't ready for his next action, he wasn't sure how he got enough courage to do so either.

His smirk was cocky as he bent down to your height, his face in close proximity to yours.

“Aw, are you worried about me?” his works were filled with sarcasm.

“Of course! I care for you.” your words were genuine, fingers wrapping around his arm while your eyes bored into his deep brown ones, heart beating faster at the propinquity.

His strong persona faltered at your sincerity, his body automatically engulfing you in a warm hug where he held you with utmost softness. You held him for as long as it took for him to feel okay again without any question, that being the reason why that particular day was counted as one of his favourite days — because your words paired with the look in your eyes told him that deep inside, maybe, just maybe, you held at least a tinge of love for him as he did for you.

Spending time with you was a luxury for him, considering your ever-so-busy schedule, since you had started college. Nevertheless, making time for him was something you were bound to do, the usual movie nights helping you take your mind off the undulated stress you had been harbouring.

One thing Heeseung learned while growing up was that he was more creatively inclined than anything else, studies didn't intrigue him, it was something he was obliged to do, which was great since the guitar was his newfound obsession. Another activity he started to impress you but fell in love with it gradually.

Heeseung took care of you the entirety of your first year in university. Whether it consisted of taking you out for your favourite food or simply accompanying you to the park for a breather, he was present with you at all times.

“You must be cold,” he whispered, fog leaving his mouth as you both wandered around the streets on a winter day.

You turned your head to get a clear sight of him, hair messy and eyes filled with worry, you couldn't believe he was seventeen already, cursing time for passing by this quickly. His nose had turned red with the chilly wind blowing outside and—

“Hey, are you okay?” he snapped you out of your daydream. Blinking twice, you looked down, embarrassed to realize that you were staring at him unconsciously.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” your smile wasn't convincing when you were, indeed, freezing.

Soon, you were wrapped in the warmth of his coat, his scent invading your senses, but you couldn't let him freeze out there.

Instead, you held his hand while dragging him towards the nearest convenience store. He followed you wordlessly, eyes focused on your figure covered with his coat and the sight of his hands in yours, even the cold couldn't stop how warm his heart felt with this setting, even more so when you asked him to sit down, getting his favourite ramen noodles ready and passing it to him.

“You know me so well,” he fondly stated, eyeing the drink you got for him alongside.

“Of course I do! I've been your babysitter for so long!” you spoke up, teasing him, knowing well enough how he doesn't like to be babied anymore.

“God, I'm not a baby anymore!”

The shy blush on the apple of his cheeks said otherwise, which you pinched and he swore even the minute gesture gave him butterflies, especially when you laughed at his flustered state, genuinely content while spending time with him.

“How's college?” he asked.

In all honesty, he wanted to know if you were romantically interested in someone at the college, with your other experiences too, of course.

You fiddled with your fingers for a second, biting your lip before turning to answer, “The usual, assignments are a bother. But yeah! We found this cute cafe nearby and the food was to die for! I'll take you there someday.”

His heartbeat fastened as you initiated the plan to take him out someday. He was definitely getting ahead of himself but he didn't mind it a bit. You could pay him a sliver of attention and that would be enough to send him into a state of frenzy.

And over the span of a year, he noticed you being happier each time you met, which only fuelled his desire to do more, anything to make your happiness tenfold.

Eventually, your daily meet-ups were reduced to weekly and soon, even less. You last properly spent time together on his eighteenth birthday, mostly reminiscing about everything you've done together, all his childhood albums had your pictures, at least one if not more. He was overjoyed to hear that you took a day off just to spend his special day with him, and you knew that you'd do it again in a heartbeat.

But, since then, he'd been indulging himself in studies, “I need to get into a good college as well,” he had stated. You admired how hard he worked. You frowned when he kept ignoring your pleas to know what college he had selected. It only made you wonder if the said boy wanted to travel overseas and study abroad, he would get into a good college with how diligently he worked throughout his last year at school.

However, it didn't stay on your mind for long when you finally caught the attention of the guy who you had been eyeing the first year. Kim Mingyu, the heartthrob, girls (and guys) swooned over him, and you were one of them, you couldn't blame them because Kim Mingyu was an eye candy with a smile that could make anyone crane their necks just to have a glimpse of him.

You were no exception. The expected part in this ordeal would be that he noticed you, and not just in a friendly advancing manner. It was last year when he first learned your name, attention on you when you wore your little skirt to a party where your friend dragged you along. You hated every bit of it, feeling as if it was a mistake that you even agreed to this, until Mingyu came along.

It was a pleasant night, you both sat on the balcony and talked for a few hours. Soon, he found himself around you more, until he finally kissed you very recently, approaching you with a proposal to be his girlfriend. As a twenty-one-year-old who had never been kissed, it felt like something straight out of a fairytale. And he kept you occupied for a good time, not letting intrusive thoughts bother you further.

“So you applied for the same college as her?” Jake asked with an amused smirk.

“Yeah, it's a great college and I had to work my ass off for it, but yes,” Heeseung spoke up, acting nonchalant.

It was a surprise for you, the sole reason why he didn't tell you before even when you asked him with the most adorable pout he had ever seen.

“Dude, you are so whipped!” he laughed at his best friend.

“What do you mean?” Heeseung furrowed his brows, however, his pink ear tips did nothing to hide his feelings.

“What I mean is that, you've been in love with her since forever,” he stated proudly, “And you are not good at hiding it, mate.”

“Since when do you know?” he sighed, hiding his blushing face behind his palm.

“Since you came to me telling me that it's not gross to like a girl, because your babysitter said so.”

Heeseung freely laughed at that. But Jake was right, he had always admired you ever since he was a child, it only bloomed and he only realized that he was in love with you at the age of sixteen.

He swore you grew prettier each time he saw you, as if he was in a trance and he couldn't stop his eyes from fixating on your lips when you talked. He wanted to kiss you.

“Will you tell her you got in?” Jake asked.

“I—yeah, I'm going to her place right after this to show her my acceptance letter,” he smiled softly, knowing that you'd jump and engulf him in a hug right after he breaks the news to you.

Although, what he didn't expect to see was you opening the door with your lipstick smudged and breathing rigged, “Hey, Hee! Did you want something?” you sweetly asked.

A deep voice resounded from inside before Heeseung even got the chance to reply, “Baby, who's there?”

Heeseung felt his heart breaking as a stranger came into view, opening the door fully to reveal a tall guy right behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as you softly giggled.

“Mingyu, meet Heeseung!” you introduced him and he extended his arm out, Hee couldn't help but notice how his muscles flexed with each movement, veins protruding from his arm.

“Hee, this is my boyfriend.” your words were shy, however, you felt something unsettling in the air.

He gulped while introducing himself with a shakey breath, it was like it whole world came crumbling down with how fondly you looked at the guy, he was everything Heeseung wasn't. Naturally, he couldn't stop the tears brimming up his eyes.

“I—I'll come back some o—other time, I'm sorry if I disturbed you—” he swiftly said, leaving your place and sprinting towards his home.

“Heeseung—” you called out his name, concerned and ready to follow him but were stopped.

“Let the kid go, you can meet him later,” Mingyu whispered, kissing your neck again.

You nodded half-heartedly, noticing an envelope on the ground which you picked up before closing the door.

Heeseung knew you weren't his, but that didn't stop him from loving you all this time, he was so sure that it could have worked out after his constant efforts, he couldn't fathom you had a boyfriend and you didn't even bother telling him, did he mean so little to you?

“Fuck,” he cursed the timing, angry tears streaming down his cheeks, his knees giving up as he struggled to hold himself up, curling into a ball and crying into his arms.

“Why can't you see me, y/n?” he whispered, yearning.

Your mind was in a state of anguish after Mingyu left. Opening the letter was the first thing you did in his absence, slightly tearing up at the acceptance letter which Heeseung left on the ground. That's why he was working so hard. That's why he had been keeping his college from you. He wanted to surprise you.

He had come to you with that very motive, and you successfully drove him away.

“Oh Hee,” you softly whispered, making your way to his place, the wind slightly cold as it hit your bare arms which caused you to shiver. You rang the doorbell, hugging yourself while waiting.

You didn't get any reply.

With a sigh, you rang the bell again in hopes of getting an answer, your hand clutching the letter tighter.

After a few minutes of silence, you felt like giving up would be the best option for the night, wondering if he went to bed already, or maybe he went out to meet a friend.

Heeseung stood by his window, watching your drooped figure walking back to your place, eyes teary and he refrained himself to call out your name — he needed time to let this settle in.

You weren't his.

Another doorbell snapped him out of his trance. It wasn't you, but some delivery guy. Heeseung was sure that he had not ordered anything, he took the parcel with a questioning gaze. The delivery man was kind enough to tell him that the order was prepaid and he disappeared soon after handing it over.

The delicious scent of his favourite dish filled his nostrils as soon as he opened up the package, paired with his favourite drink. The sight made him choke up a sob.

No one knew about this except for you.

“Why do you give me hope, y/n?” he whispered to himself, chewing the food softly, cheeks red with how much he had cried in the past few hours.

Nevertheless, he was thankful for your gesture, at least for the night.

He knew that letting his feelings go would be the best idea. However, the idea of leaving you in the hands of a complete stranger, the one he didn't trust a bit was something he couldn't do.

With his thoughts running wild and his head bursting from the headache, he drifted off to the dreamland with the image of you in his mind.

Lee Heeseung was good at maintaining his distance, staying over at Jake's place to prevent running into you at times. You hadn't talked to him ever since that night, and it was killing you inside. You tried to tell Mingyu about this and he brushed it off saying how he's going through puberty right now.

With that being said, you never mentioned Heeseung in front of him, the sentence pissed you off but you stayed mum, not wanting to start an argument.

You did see Heeseung once, calling out his name. His speed was faster though, he got into the car and drove away even before you fully came out in the verandah.

That made you upset beyond words. You were clueless, unable to understand the sudden change in his behaviour, a frown plastered on your face for the rest of the day.

The only place he couldn't avoid you at was the college. It had been three days since Heeseung's semester had started and you failed to see him in all those days. Day four was definitely on your side as you watched the tall boy giggling and talking to some girl, who you assumed was also a fresher.

It seemed like you were the only one he was ignoring. With a gulp and shake of your head, you strided towards him, holding your tote bag tighter before you tapped on his shoulder.

He turned around, his smile dropping in an instant, turning into a frown as he told the girl to go on and that he'll join her in the classroom. You flinched unconsciously when he raised his brows at you.

“Uhm you have a girlfriend already?” you cringed at your choice of words. Way to start the conversation.

He rolled his eyes, taking a step back but you were quick to hold on to his arm, “I'm sorry, please just give me a second.”

You felt small under his gaze, he looked angry. Or disappointed. You weren't sure.

On the other hand, Heeseung was doing his best to not give in, his heart beating erratically when he saw you, your scent filling up his nose, which made him want to hold you.

“Congratulations for getting into the college, Hee! I knew you could do it.” you smiled softly.

“Ah, thanks.” his reply was short, so you proceeded to ask him what you had initially came to inquire.

“Why—” you stopped, taking in a shaky breath, “Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?”

He looked down, not being able to bear the look of hurt on your face. Thankfully, he got an excuse to escape.

“Oh look, your boyfriend is coming over,” he said, rolling his eyes and leaving.

Mingyu caught up to you soon, pecking your lips in an instant. Heeseung saw that, and what he felt was a lot worse than what he had expected.

He knew that Mingyu wasn't the one to be trusted. Heeseung was never the kind to judge someone on the basis of their looks. Mingyu was an exception — his fuckboy persona was too strong to ignore, and you were blinded by his charms. It was a hunch at first until he witnessed it with his own eyes.

Heeseung was leaving after his last class for the day, making his way towards the parking lot only to see Mingyu with a girl that wasn't you. They were close, too close and the faint sound of giggling made him see red. He sat down in the car, hitting the wheel.

“Can't you see, y/n? He's just gonna hurt you.” he hoped that somehow you could have seen him, heard him.

Going to Jake was the best option for him at given moment.

“Dude, you have to tell her,” he spoke softly, seeing his friend in distress.

“How? I can't even talk to her without wanting to kiss her, I feel like crying whenever I see her.” his voice came out strained.

“So you're gonna let that asshole hurt her?” Jake's question was blunt as he blinked impassively and he could only shake his head as a no.

He sat unmoving, letting his friend knock some sense into his brain, “Okay, I need a day or two to actually talk to her. I don't think she'll even want to talk to me after how I treated her today.”

“You have to be fast with your apology then. Quit being a kid and get your girl.”

Heeseung groaned, ear tips getting red at the mention of you being his girl, “Not mine—” he started and Jake raised his brows, “—yet.”

With a newfound motivation, he got back home. Not expecting anyone to be standing in front of his place, especially since his parents were out on their business trips, again.

All his confidence went down the drain when he squinted his eyes, getting out of his car to your shivering figure.

You went over to him as quick as you could muster, not giving him a chance to escape. This was too much, you had never felt this alone in your entirety of life. You tried to remind yourself that you had a boyfriend you can go to whenever you wish to seek comfort, but that wasn't the case either since Mingyu informed you about his plans with someone else.

It should have been fine, normal even. It wasn't the case — you cried, holding yourself in hopes of feeling better. You wished you had Heeseung with you then.

You hugged him, voice coming out muffled, “Please don't ignore me, I'll do everything to make it right again, Hee. Please—please just tell me what I did?” you looked at him.

His eyes widened slightly when he noticed that yours were slightly puffed up and red. He couldn't tell you, not right now.

“Why do you care?” he regretted his words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He wasn't supposed to say that.

“What do you mean?” you asked weakly.

“You have a boyfriend to go to,” he hated where this conversation was heading.

“Why do you keep bringing him up, what did he even do?” you were frustrated.

“You say you care about me and don't even bother telling me about getting a boyfriend? Trust me, y/n, he will hurt you.”

You stepped back, the feeling of anger coursing down your veins, “You don't even know him.”

“I know enough.” he replied in a beat, leaving you alone outside to cry.

His own tears slip out once he gets into the comfort of his home, confused about why he made it even harder for you both.

You tried to conceal your disappointment when Mingyu cancelled your date plans the very next day, you didn't bother asking him for a reason, simply saying that you understand. Which left you alone with your intrusive thoughts all over your mind.

You rushed to open the door as the doorbell rang, followed by the shout of your name and you knew it was Heeseung, you'd recognise his voice anywhere.

“Hee,” you whispered, seeing the boy in front of you, his hair was messed up and it clearly showed that he brushed them with just his fingers, eyes going down to his hands which held a small packet of your favourite chips.

“I'm—” he gulped, looking anywhere but at you, “—I've been an ass to you, I'm so fucking sorry, please don't be angry—” he stopped as soon as you threw your hands around his neck, pulling him in a hug, a year escaping your eye which you wiped without him noticing.

“How can I ever be mad at you?” your question made him melt, he felt safe in your arms, hold tightening as he whispered another sorry.

“Are we okay?” he asked cautiously, you hummed softly, his touch bringing a sense of comfort to your mind and body.

“Is everything alright?” you asked after a moment of silence as you both sat down on your bed.

“Y—yeah, I had some personal problems,” he confessed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” your hand itched to hold his.

“I think I'll be fine in a few days,” you nodded, understanding that he didn't wish to talk about it.

“But, what did you mean when you said that Mingyu will hurt me?” you asked, playing with your fingers.

He wasn't sure if it was the right time to tell you, especially when you looked so small and vulnerable in front of him. He called out your name slowly.

“I—I saw him with another girl yesterday.”

You looked at him with a confused face, “Was she tall with long hair?” you asked.

“Yeah, you know her?” he asked, eyes widening.

“She's a close friend of Mingyu. I was bothered at first, but Gyu assured me that it's nothing of that sort, just friendship,” you explained.

Heeseung rolled his eyes, flabbergasted at your native behaviour, at how easily you trusted your said boyfriend. The action luckily went unnoticed by you.

“Hey! You wanna go out?” he asked, switching the conversation and you let out a genuine laugh after god knows how long, his smile mirroring yours.

“Where do we go?” you asked, reaching to stroke his hair as a habit.

The answer, however, was just his smile.

It was as if you had enabled his sudden desire to explore every part of the city — which he had wanted to do from long, he just needed a bit of company for his rendezvous.

And you were here to provide him with just that. Heeseung wasn't accustomed to you having a boyfriend, but he did all he could to spend time with you, it was easy considering how Mingyu was always busy, cancelling the plans with you.

It wasn't a thing to be happy about, seeing the look on your face angered him, but that gave him the opportunity to be the one you'd spend your time with, and maybe, just maybe, you'd realize that he is the one you should be with and not some guy who doesn't bother taking out a few hours of his day to spend them with his girlfriend.

Safe to say, Heeseung never brought up Mingyu's name in front of you, not when he wanted your undivided attention all for himself.

He didn't do anything fancy at first, calling you over his place, letting you sit in between his legs while he went over the controls of the new game he had just purchased, teaching you how to play it. What he didn't know was that your heartbeat was just as fast as his own, the skin touching as he held your hand with the controller, and each move of his sent tingles down your spine.

You knew it wasn't normal for you to be feeling this way, ignorance was the key for you. However, you weren't sure how long it would work, especially when you got into a little argument with Mingyu.

“So you're on talking terms with the kid again?” he was amused, drinking his can of beer when you told him about what you've been up to, since he had been too busy this whole time.

“He's not a kid.” you huffed, “Where were you, it's been a week since I last saw you?” your voice held some sort of sadness.

“Honestly, I wanted to come over but Hoshi came over and dragged me to parties since he was in the town for a week. Sorry, baby.” he came closer, wrapping his arms around you and you couldn't help but notice that they didn't even give you a sliver of comfort that Heeseung provided you with just his existence.

You didn't let him kiss you, excusing yourself as your mom called you right on time, letting you know that she'll be extending her stay at your grandmother's place for a few more weeks. With that, you felt sulky for the whole day. It was crystal clear that Mingyu wasn't as invested in the relationship as he claimed he'd be when he first asked you out.

Walking home was easier while you contemplated your decisions, it was even effortless when you saw the bambi-eyed boy waiting for you outside, you knew you had to come to a conclusion soon.

So simply, you called Mingyu while waving at the smiling boy, he picked up the call after three rings. You inquired if he was sure about your date tomorrow, and he paused for a few seconds, seemingly to come up with an excuse.

“Y/n, I'm so sorry but can we shift it to—”

You scoffed, cutting the call short to save his excuses. Mingyu was never an option, it had always been someone else and you admit that you'd been too blind to see it. With a smile, you approached Hee, pulling him in a hug.

“You look happy,” he smiled, tucking your head under his chin.

“I am happy,” you truthfully admitted out loud and somehow, he could feel that your statement was related to him, making his heart flutter.

“Well, that's a great thing because we're going out,” he announced, ruffling your hair the exact way you did to him out of habit.

“Wait, right now? Where?” you asked, taking a look at your watch which displayed exact nine.

“You'll see, c'mon.” he took your hand as of it was the most natural thing to do, guiding you to his car and your eyes widened, you had never sat with him driving and he sensed your hesitance, pouting a bit, “What is that look for? I'm a great driver!” he huffed out.

“I trust you on that, Hee,” you spoke, your mind trying to comprehend how fast you both grew up, seeing Hee in the driver's seat was mesmerizing, his eyes fixated on the road, lip slightly bitten with concentration and fingers gripping the steering wheel in an attractive manner.

You hoped he didn't pay attention to your eyes practically analyzing his every movement, although he knew exactly what you were up to.

One thought gave rise to the other and soon, you were playing with your rings while looking outside mindlessly, thinking about the things you had to take care of in the upcoming days.

“Your thoughts are loud,” he spoke gently, hand coming down to rest on your thigh in a soft caress, almost like an urge to ask you what you had been thinking about.

“I—I'm sorry,” your face contorting into a wince mixed with a hint of awe.

Heeseung had been good at reading you ever since he was a child, he used to watch you come home from school while he was just four, waiting for you to come home. He'd simply get chocolates for you on the days you looked tired — getting them from his personal goodies stash which he shared with no one else but you.

He had been a darling from the very first day you met him.

“Let's get your mind off things,” he spoke up, parking the car and rushed to your side, opening the door for you.

He sure knew how to lift your spirits up, your lips curling up at the sight of a clean, empty beach wrapped around a blanket of the starry night sky. You walked forward, hair swaying with the light breeze, the rich scent of sand and water filling up your senses.

While you absorbed the view in front of you, Heeseung took this opportunity to get a good look at you. It was hard for him to look elsewhere when you were the prettiest person he had ever laid eyes on, he saw your smile and he but his own. It wasn't a foreign feeling for him, but it still scared him to know that you weren't his.

His train of thoughts broke as you held on to his wrist, dragging him closer to the water, feeling the sand on your feet with each step you took and before you knew it, he was chasing you while you ran with the softest giggle.

The old couple passing by the scene smiled fondly when Heeseung caught you in his arms, “Young love,” they spoke with shiny eyes, happy to be witnessing something so pure.

You weren't sad you got caught, in fact, you'll always wish for Heeseung to be the one who catches you.

To Heeseung, you were nothing less than a dream, a happy bundle of joy as you comfortably laid down next to him on the sand, courtesy of the picnic blanket he had kept in the back of his car.

“You see that?” he points at the star which shines the brightest in the sky.

You nod, turning your head to see his face right after.

“That's you.” his hand then shifted to point at the star right next to it, “And next to your star, that's me.”

He turned his head to see you already looking at him. His eyes held all the stars this universe had to offer, skin shining under the moonlight.

You wanted to kiss him.

Your eyes flicked back to see a shooting star, immediately sitting up at the sight.

“Hee! Look, a shooting star!” you cried in delight, never having seen it in real life.

“Quick! Make a wish.” you closed your eyes, joining your hands.

Heeseung followed your actions, making a wish of his own.

“What did you wish for, Bambi?” you asked him softly.

“Well, that's a secret,” he grinned sheepishly, “What did you wish for, y/n?”

You scoffed, “That's a secret.” he pouted again.

You continue to stare at him, eyebrows cocked up until he burst into giggles.

And just like that, the night ended with you both wishing to have each other.

You wasted no time in getting to Mingyu's place the next morning, it was the fastest you had ever driven, the talk being important this time.

“Mingyu, we need to talk.”

He said your name out loud, confusion lacing his voice.

“I—I don't think it's gonna work between us.” your words were clear.

“So you want to break up?” he rolled his eyes with an accusatory tone, continuing further, “Why? Finally running back to that kid?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you spend all your time with him. Does he fuck you that good?”

“Mingyu, you're crossing the line,” you warned him.

He laughed, “Why? Did I lie? You spend all your time with him anyways, and that kid never once called you noona, always acts like he's the one who's your boyfriend.”

“You're not my boyfriend anymore.” you stepped back, the place too suffocating for you.

“This is exactly why I cheated on you,” he admitted smugly, seeing you pause and stare at him with disbelief. You walked back, grabbing his collar.

“You know what? You're right, he's a million times better than you'll ever be.” your tone was low.

Before he could react, you punched him straight on the jaw, and a slight cut appeared on his cheek as he stumbled back with pain, “And you deserve that.”

You had never been this strongly disgusted with anyone else, tears welling up in your eyes as you sat down and drove back to your place, vision blurry and hands shaky.

It didn't feel real.

You'd admit that Mingyu wasn't that close to you, it was a fairy new relationship of three months but you'd never condone cheating. Adding to it, the false accusations regarding you and Heeseung, that was your breaking point, your blood boiling as you recalled the whole scene from a few minutes back.

With a teary face, you locked the car, getting into the comfort of your home at once, letting out a loud sob as you leaned against the door. You weren't sure if the reason for your crying was because you wasted your time on an asshole or the fact that you could have potentially spent that time with Heeseung instead.

He had warned you.

“Y/n! Open up!” the doorbell rang, Heeseung's voice following the sound.

Weakly standing up, you opened the door for him, his face falling at the sight of you. Red eyes and shaking figure. He wordlessly got in, closing the door and wrapping his arms around you, carrying you towards the couch as you sobbed into his shoulder, his hand caressing your back.

He sat down with you on his lap, “Hey, tell me what's wrong,” his worried voice made you frown, lip quivering as he put his finger under your chin, his Bambi eyes meeting yours.

“Hee—” you took a shaky breath, “I broke up with him.”

His eyes widened, a mini celebration happening inside him but that wasn't the thing that worried him, your crying state was something he had never witnessed before, especially when you were gasping for air so much.

“Shh, it's okay. I came as soon as I saw you from the window. Would you tell me what happened, angel?” the nickname would have made you smile had the situation been different.

“I went to his place, I couldn't be with him anymore, n—not when I liked someone else.” your words made him wonder if you were talking about him, that statement got his hopes up.

“And then he accused me of cheating. It would have been fine, but then he dragged you into this mess and admitted that he cheated just because he fucking thought that I did it,” you ranted, angry tears leaving your eyes.

Heeseung tightened his grip on your waist, “He what?” his voice was awfully low, giving you shivers.

His eyes weren't the usual soft ones, you could see how he was holding back a lot of words but you managed to hear a few faint sentences saying, “Fuck, I'll kill that asshole.”

You held on to him tighter, grabbing his attention, “He's the most stupid man to have ever let go of you I swear,” he whispered, kissing your temple, “Baby,” he made you look at him, your heart fluttering now that you had stopped crying, “You're safe here, I won't let anyone hurt you, yeah?” you nodded slowly, his words wrapping you in a protective blanket of comfort, the kind that only Lee Heeseung could provide.

He didn't leave your side for the whole day, ordered your favourite food and made sure you ate well, you noticed how he was a lot more affectionate, kissing your cheek, similar to how he used to do as kids. You felt shy around him.

The only thing that kept bugging the said boy was that he wanted to know what you meant when you said you liked someone else. He had your favourite food memorized, he made sure to place the order for your favourite chocolates and everything else you would need for your comfort.

You were beyond grateful, although you also wished to tell him that he was the only person you needed, and nothing more. You stare at him as he helps you with your night routine, insisting on applying moisturizer on your face. It's hard to focus on anything else but his breath fanning your face, summoning all the willpower you have to not kiss his pouty lips.

“You're taking care of me as if I'm the baby here,” you teased lightly.

“You've taken care of me your whole life, it's about time you rest and let me take care of you, y/n.” his tone was authoritative, a hint of teasing laced it.

“I see you're a big boy now,” you laughed softly and he came closer.

“Bigger than you think,” he spoke near the shell of your ear, your eyes widening at the sexual undertone, which left as soon as you saw a goofy smile adorning his face. Maybe he didn't mean it that way. You gulped, cheeks heating up as he cupped your cheeks.

“Feel better?”

“Hm, sorry you had to see me like this, Hee,” you smiled sadly.

“Hey, I'm here for you. Always.”

“Will you—” you licked your lips, looking away, “—stay the night? I mean, of course, you don't have to do it but yeah I still wanted to ask for the sake of—” he found your rambling cute, praying that you don't see how blush crept up his neck.

“I will.” he caressed your cheek, “You deserve the whole world,” he cooed at your smiley face, taking in your drowsy appearance.

“Come, let's get you to bed.”

He too settled in, getting his sweatpants and a loose white t-shirt for the night. He was staying with you after all.

“Hee?” you called out his name, the room dark and perfect for you to sleep in, his hand holding yours as your bodies maintained a fair distance for the sake of your sanity.

He hummed at the sound of his name.

“Why don't you call me noona?” your question threw him off guard as you remembered what Mingyu had said. It was true that Heeseung had never addressed you as noona before despite having a solid three years of age gap.

He turned towards you, watching your figure as his eyes adjusted to the dim environment of your room, his body still processing your scent on the pillows and the warmth of your body radiating close to him.

“I don't see you as a noona.” your eyebrows cocked up at that.

“What do you see me as then?” you whispered, asking him the question slowly so as to not disturb the peace in your room.

“Can't tell you just yet,” he mumbled. He wanted to tell you, he just didn't want to pressure you with his feelings right when you got out of a relationship, a relationship which didn't end well. “Why, do you wanna be called noona?”

“No!” you said in a beat.

“Are you sure?” you were sure his eyebrows were wiggling with this question.

“Heeseung—” you started but were pulled into his chest, your back against his chest as you let out a strangled gasp. His grip only got stronger as he whispered near your neck, tickling you in the process, “Sleep, noona.”

Only you knew how grateful you were for the lights being off, preventing the Bambi boy from seeing you smile like a maniac at the name. It wasn't a strange feeling anymore, it being pretty evident that you were crushing on a guy who was younger than you.

And you didn't regret it for a second.

It was afternoon when you woke up, the bed being empty and you wondered where Heeseung had gone, a tiny frown settling on your face.

You wanted to see his face the first thing in the morning.

Regardless, you got up and got yourself cleaned, getting into the shower to get rid of the bitter memories from yesterday. The shower was one of the places where you let your imagination run wild, pondering about a certain Lee Heeseung as you applied your favourite lychee body wash on your loofah, scrubbing your body gently — which again reminded you of how gentle he was while touching your face yesterday, how possessively he held you the whole night, as if you were his favourite soft toy to cuddle.

You wondered if that's what being with him would feel like, that if he'd accept you despite the age gap.

With a sigh, you got out of the shower, opting to wear your comfiest pair of shorts and a t-shirt, striding towards the kitchen to fend for your hungry self, only to find the tall boy making his way into your home, your eyes sparkling at the sight of him.

“Where did you go?” you lamented, and he held up a box of your favourite assorted doughnuts, making you gasp. Although it was the least of your worries when you noticed his bruising knuckles.

“How—” you asked, holding his hand and inspecting the wound, eyes widening at the blood.

He bit his lip, looking elsewhere before replying, “I might have paid a little visit to Mingyu,” you blinked one, and twice, making him sit on the couch and grabbing your first-aid kid from the kitchen, softly cleaning it with cotton and alcohol.

He hissed with pain, “Shh. Relax, baby.” he stilled at the name, gulping down the urge to pull you in his lap and smash his lips onto yours, confessing right after. He successfully refrained from doing so.

You cradled his face in your hands, “You don't need to hurt yourself for me, Hee,” you whispered.

“I'd do it a million times if it means that you'll be okay.” he pulled you in his lap, your hand holding on to his shoulder for support.

“Don't say that,” your voice came out breathy, heart beating out of your chest with how earnest his stare was.

“Why not?” his voice came out equally low, head tilting at the question.

“Because, then I won't be able to stop myself anymore.” your eyes settle on his lips, which were slightly parted.

“Stop yourself—from what?” he asked with a pensive expression, his body being hyper-aware of everything. The scent of your perfume took over his mind, a damn smile curling up his lips as if he had figured out what your answer was.

“From—” you averted your eyes, his finger under your chin making you look into his eyes again, closer than before, the tip of your noses almost brushing.

“From?” he urged softly.

“From kissing you,” you admitted with equal gentleness, cheeks on fire while you waited for him to speak something, anxiety bubbling up in your stomach.

“You don't have to stop.” he spoke after a second of silence.

“What—” your question is answered by his lips being pressed against yours in a feather-light kiss.

You had never been kissed like this before, soft, tender and full of what you'd call ‘love’, his big hand cupping your cheek, caressing it with the pad of his thumb, tilting his head to kiss you deeper, while you held on to his shoulder, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

Your foreheads touch when you finally break apart from your kiss, your eyes boring into his, “So when you talked about liking another guy yesterday—”

“—that was you.” you confirmed, and his smile grew wider, a soft laugh escaping him before he pulled you into his embrace and yet another kiss.

“Fuck, I've wanted you for so long,” he confessed, giggling at your widened eyes.

“How long?” you genuinely asked.

“Ever since you called me Bambi when I was four,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Did you ever think about me being older than you then?” you snuggled deeper into his hold, asking him the question that had bothering you from long.

“It doesn't matter, it never mattered. I just want you, y/n. I tried to get over you when you got a boyfriend but I couldn't, I didn't want to.”

And that's when you knew you wanted him for life.

“I'm sorry you had to wait for so long, baby.”

“You're worth the wait,” he smiled and hid your face in his neck.

He grunts in surprise, feeling your soft brush against his neck, your name leaving his mouth in a manner which sent a shiver down your spine. “Fuck, sorry,” you panicked, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable around you.

“No, oh god no, I want you, y/n.” he spoke, placing a kiss on your temple, “I just, am trying to refrain myself from doing something cause you just came out of a relationship.”

“Hee, you don't have to stop, I'm yours.”

“Yeah? All mine?”

“All yours, baby.” you giggled, shifting to get comfortable as you two lie down, exchanging kisses with giggles and soft smiles.

“This feels like a dream,” he breathed out.

“Does that mean you see me in your dreams often?” you teased.

He huffed, “Of course I do!”

You tilted your head with curiosity, “Oh? What do you dream about?”

He pulled you flesh against his chest, whispering in your ear, “Making love to you.”

With one smile, he ran away with you chasing him, flustered with the sudden revelation. He pinned you against the wall as soon as you entered your bedroom.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” you bit your lower lip.

His arm winded around your waist tighter as he softly helped you lie down on your bed, kissing the shell of your ear, “Let me make love to you, noona.”

Oh, you were fucked.

How could you say no to him, especially when he requests for it ever so softy, doe eyes staring into your own eyes, searching for any hint of discomfort or hesitance.

You blink out of your reverie, whispering out a soft yes, gasping when he places the softest kisses on your clavicle, fingers intertwined with yours as he whispers your name, “Tell me if it gets too much for you,” he whispered in the expanse of your skin.

The gentle kisses down your throat to your chest do nothing to stop soft sighs from leaving your mouth. “So pretty,” he had called you pretty a lot of times, but it never once felt like this.

He made you feel pretty.

Each touch felt like a sensation of appreciation towards your body, each kiss delivering unsaid confessions out loud.

His name rolled off your tongue effortlessly, tightening your hold on his fingers, never wanting to let go of him. He gently tugged at the corner of your t-shirt, glancing at you, asking wordlessly and you nod as he helped you up slightly to remove the piece of clothing. He gulped, seeing you bare in front of him, you helpfully removing your bra for him.

“I could stare at you the whole day.”

He worshipped every inch of you, caressing your waist as he started sucking on your tits, back arching with ecstasy, “you sound so pretty, noona,” he rubs his nose against yours, your heartbeat rising as he rubbed your thighs in a gentle caress, squeezing it right after.

You whine, tugging on his t-shirt, and he immediately got rid of it as you pulled him in, lips on his neck while he continued to touch every inch of you.

“Please, Hee—” you whispered, fingers holding on to his nape as you felt wetness pooling in your panties.

He didn't wait for a second to undress you fully, him doing the same as he followed your gaze, your eyes fixated on his torso, wanting to kiss him all over. You rubbed your hands on his faint abs, his hard-on pressing on your inner thighs, “Wanna taste you,” he whispered and you closed your eyes, overwhelmed when his lips touched your wet core, licking your slit while the tip of his nose brushed against your clit, making you squirm around.

He hummed at the taste of you, head spiralling at the sight of you being so vulnerable in front of him, heart full at the sight of your trust in him, he only licked more, pecking your inner thighs and inserting a finger to prep you for him.

“Such sweet noises. You're doing so good, baby.”

His words calmed you, your eyes never leaving his as he looked at you, lips coated with your juices.

“Can't wait more,” you gasped out his name.

“Fuck, I won't last long if you keep calling my name like that,” he got up, and you whined at the loss of contact.

You told him where you kept the condom, him hurriedly getting one and putting it on as you watched the boy fondly despite the heated feeling you had down your core.

He pumped his cock a few times before, he positioned himself in front of you, tip prodding your entrance, coming in contact with your wetness.

“Tell me you want it.” his forehead rested against yours.

“Want you, so much.”

He pulled you in a deep kiss, pushing himself inside, groaning into your mouth at the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him so well.

You squirm with the stretch, toes curled with how thick he was, adjusting to his size as you wrapped your legs around his torso, asking him to continue.

His thrusts were languid and deep, successful in eliciting breathy moans out of you, swearing that it was the prettiest sound he had ever heard.

“So perfect,” you spoke, nibbling on his lower lip.

The feeling was intimate and something along the lines of what you'd consider as perfect. Soft giggles leaving your mouth as you got lost in the essence of each other, faint touches everywhere, lips red and slightly swollen with your kissing sessions, heart full and warm.

He made you weak in the knees.

His hair bounced as he continued to thrust into you, sloppier than before as he felt his orgasm building up, he knew you were close with how your legs shook slightly, his soft pad of thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

“Hee, I'm close,” you sighed and he kissed your cheek.

“I know, baby. You did so well, cum for me now.” he urged gently, pressing his lips to take in all your moans as you reached your state of euphoria, him twitching a couple of times before he filled up the condom too, embracing you as he stayed inside for a while. Both of you breathing deeply, holding on to each other.

“I love you.”

You opened your eyes, only to see him smiling at you, staring at you with nothing but adoration.

Instead of answering, you asked him a question.

“What did you wish for on the shooting star?” your voice was low.

“You.” his cheeks were red, and you smiled.

You had never been so sure of anything else in life and you had to voice it out. His eyes tearing up at your confession when you said—

“I'm in love with you, Heeseung.”

And you knew you would love him for the entirety of your life.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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