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kizzys · 3 years

Text

Starkid Rewatch: Black Friday 🎁

Let me just preface by saying the intro is absolutely chilling

curt's sniggle is so fucking adorable

They all are actually look at them

I don't know how to feel about the fact that I know the fucking wiggly jingle by heart

There they are - my emotional support paulkins

You're cutting into a heat of lettuce and oH shit a baby

I wanted a salad, but now I have a child

He will never invite "us" over again no labels my ass paul is her family

Can we talk about the way she looks at him here though, it's so fucking soft 🥰

The crowd goes wild as a wild dylan saunders appears

BuT wE aRe InTiMaTe

Thank you for your service. I didn't do it for you.

Okay

OKAY

Soulmate behavior

I still can't get over the fact that we got the softest version of paulkins in black friday

dylan's microexpressions in 'what tim wants' i'm going to cry

Also can we talk about how pretty the set looks

dylan just radiates dad energy

You can try telling me tom didn't adopt lex and hannah after all this i just won't believe you

HE HAS ARRIVED

Lexthan has my heart

They could have made ethan one of those cliche assholes whose only using lex and putting up with hannah but instead they made him soft and caring and the closest thing hannah has to an older brother/father figure to the point where he was ready to give his life to save them

So if ethan got the greyskull hat from a "powerful warrior" this technically means ethan has met or knows miss holloway

lex blowing kisses when ethan sings his part and ethan just bopping along/pretending to be paparazzi when lex does hers

We love a supportive couple

You're either in the smoke club or you're OUT

That better be fucking floss

linda monroe is a complete bitch BUT she can step on me please and thank you

That's called a bribe sir, and it's illegal...or it should be

I hope you don't get a wiggly, I hope you fucking die

'What do you say' is basically just a summary of shipping

curt is me watching my ship interact

sherman and gary are just holding hands and skipping in the background

corey you dropped this king 👑

'Our doors are open' is honestly the best song in black friday

It is to black friday what show stopping number is to tgwdlm

The grandeur, the drama, THE HIPS

So gary and linda have definitely fucked right

Get ready for audits! Audits up your ears! Audits in your yinyang! Audits in your wazoo!

Higarygoldsteinattorneyatlaw

RIGHT IN THE SUBPEONA

Feast or famine is a fucking masterpiece

The chorus part is visually stunning

The music to show me your hands playing when james' cop enters

The first thing ethan asks curt's shopper is if he's okay, pure soul

They kicked his head

His last act was to protect hannah and his last thought was of lex im crying

GIVE ME THAT FUCKING DOLL I'M IN A HURRY

I don't know if you wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna fuck with me miss monroe

The lighting here is incredible

And they both look very hot

Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see him?

YES I FUCKING SEE HIM!

jaime in a suit is making me gayer

morris rocking the wiggly like a baby

They all went completely fucking feral in this scene its incredible

curt REALLY went for it

Hope you don't mind that I let myself in. Into the oval office?

The audience clapping after everything mcnamara says is honestly a mood

The positioning of the people in the background in monsters and men is amazing. cross and linda - evil; frank, becky and roberts shopper - people who have both light and dark in them; and lex and hannah - good

jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle RING A LING DING

Is it just me or does jon's character look like he's there to fucking murder a child

I mean jeff has a full on beard and even he looks more like a teenager than jon does here

Santa claus is going to highschool: a hallmark-esque Christmas movie starring a bunch of teenagers

Jon's "highschooler":

'Take me back' makes me cry every time its so beautiful

This is such a soft moment

a ReD tRiCyClE

So john and lee are definitely husbands im not taking no for an answer

I've met God, he had nothing nice to say about you

She likes to be tall

'Do you want to play' is honestly such a creepy song

It gives me chills every time

[casually eats an apple in the middle of an evil speech]

Actually its not even an evil speech, cross may be evil but every word of his speech is fucking true

I can't be evil, I'm a status quo democrat

No john don't leave your husband

I'm honestly loving starkid's trend of calling america out on its bullshit

The fact that only the female sniggles have worn the antennae till now and then robert's sniggle is wearing one in 'made in america'

I'm thinking

This was the most creative thing ever and I gasped when I saw it

owen and curt walked so cross and howie could run

lex singing "should I never have wanted" during black friday and paul saying "it doesn't matter what I want" in let it out

Two crucial songs that are character defining points

I don't want your half baked sympathy, when did it save those in need?

Angela's performance of black friday honestly makes me cry every time

[eagle screeching]

They're all into fortnight dude!

An update in songs that make me cry every time - if I fail you

Especially the part where the music switches to 'what tim wants' and he starts singing about jane

Is this some kind of a jOooke?

I've said it before and I'll say it again - he will wiggle has THE horniest choreography in the history of starkid, and that is including all of mamd

Specifically whatever gary and curt's shopper are doing

becky barnes is a fucking badass

I know gary leaves with linda because jon and lauren needed to be in the next scene as paul and emma, but this technically means that gary escaped

tom and becky immediately hugging the girls once they're out of danger i'm soft for them

Can we talk about how paul and emma were basically ready to adopt tim

Wear a watch

Everyone else is looking at their hands during what if tomorrow comes, but paulkins are looking at each other 🥺

Yes I am back on my paulkins bullshit

I never left

Also paul, despite his deep hate for musicals, sings in 'what if tomorrow comes'. Do with this information what you will

I know the most probable scenario is that they all died in the end but I refuse to believe it

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honibee-arts · 4 years

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dramatic villain nie huaisang and hero jiang cheng? maybe nie huaisang flirts with the hero while jiang cheng is kinda horny but has a duty to fulfill?

Just a warning this gets a little steamy but its a kind of pan to the window vibe. I will mark this as NSFWish text to be safe though.

"Jie, I don't think I can get all of these people out of here in time.” Jiang Cheng panted into his headset, holding the crumbling ceiling up with one arm, watching the people run out.

He heard his sister sigh, her manicured nails clicking against her keyboard.

“Lightbearer and Moonbeam should be on the scene in the next two minutes.” she replied.

“Jie, I don’t have two minutes. This building is going to collapse in the next thirty fucking seconds.”

“A-Cheng, language.”

“I’m holding up a building, I don’t even have super strength. I’m gonna die like this. Can’t you tell them to hurry up?” He grit his teeth. He’s going to have a fucking hernia and broken bones after this shit, and he was going to make that stoic asshole Lightbearer pay for his goddamn medical bills. He probably had more than enough money.

“They’re going as fast as they can, A-Cheng.”

“And your boyfriend couldn’t come and help?”

“A-Xuan’s taking A-Ling today so you could patrol, remember?”

“It’s hard to remember when I’m being crushed.”

Jiang Cheng widened his stance, pushing the crumbling ceiling back up with both hands, growling in pain. Black spots began to gather in his vision, his static flickering across his visor from the strain on his suit.

“We’ll take it from here, thank you, Violet Spider.” Came Moonbeam’s firm yet gentle tone, taking the weight literally off of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.

“About fucking time.” He wheezed, taking a deep breath as his arms dropped by his sides, wincing in pain.

“Would appreciate some gratitude.” Lightbearer huffed petulantly as he helped his brother carefully lift the falling ceiling back up, holding it there in an eerie white glow.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes as the remaining people rushed past them, scrambling to get out of there as quickly as possible. Jiang Cheng didn’t blame them in their haste, not one bit. He didn’t like being the one to hold that shit up.

“Are you alright, A-Cheng?” His sister asked in his earpiece, the display on his visor recalibrating.

“Yeah, yeah. Just. Exhausted...” he stood back and caught his breath.

“I’ll make sure to have some lotus rib soup for you when you get home, A-Cheng. I’ll check over your injuries too.”

“A-Jie, you don’t need to do that.”

“Aiya, hush. It’s nothing. I’ll check what the damages are to your suit too.”

“A-Jie...”

“No buts, A-Cheng.”

He sighed and looked down, his hair falling over his visor as he stared at the rubble beneath his feet.

“I’m going to have the longest goddamn nap in history after this.”

“You deserve it, A-Cheng.” A-Jie hummed. “Thank you, A-Xuan.” she said softly, sipping what Jiang Cheng assumed was a cup of tea handed to her by her boyfriend.

In his visor, purple warning symbols flared up in his periphery.

“A-Cheng-”

“On it.” He said as he spotted a flare of green a few blocks away. Gritting his teeth against the ache in his arms, Jiang Cheng jumped up onto the wall of the nearest building, scaling it as quickly as possible and sprinting across the rooftops.

Sometimes, only sometimes, Jiang Cheng hated this fucking job. Sure, he could have a normal 9-5 job and earn a stable income, but no, he just had to be born the son of Yunmeng’s protector and inherit her powers and mantle, along with a load of fucking pressure. He just had to have been trained intensely by his mother, day in and day out from the second his powers manifested at 11. He just had to have had the heroes instinct and the motto of “Attempt the impossible” drummed into him since he was a child.

As much as he wanted to push back against his instinct to protect in favour of his exhaustion sometimes, he couldn’t stop himself.

The blasts led him to the Jin Corporation office building in Yunping, only a half mile from the crumbling building he was just almost crushed under.

“A-Jie, the source is coming from the Jin Corp. offices in Yunping.”

“Mm. I saw. The building that you were just in was a Jin owned business too.” She replied thoughtfully.

“Does your boyfriend know anything about someone that might have been slated by his father? Cousin maybe?”

“Nothing. I know Jin Guangyao had a complicated relationship with Red Blade. There were rumours about him having something to do with his retirement.”

‘Retirement’ had been a delicate way of putting what happened to Red Blade. When Jiang Cheng had first come onto the hero scene, Red Blade had taken him under his wing. He had been something of an older brother figure, despite being the protector of Qinghe rather than Yunmeng.

He had been familiar with Jiang Cheng’s abilities, having also been mentored by Jiang Cheng’s predecessor. Everyone knew and respected Red Blade. His super strength and speed was matched by none, in his prime he could leap a building in a single bound and punch a meteor out of the sky without so much as a single scratch. With all that power however, came a price. Red Blade had been prone to feral rages which were difficult to pull him out of, very few people could. Moonbeam seemed to be the only one beside whoever was in his ear all the time who could do it.

About six months ago, Red Blade had disappeared for three days. Moonbeam had found him snarling and bleeding from his eyes, his right arm severed and his eyes white. How Red Blade had survived, Jiang Cheng had no idea. After a few weeks in a medically induced coma, Red Blade had announced his retirement and hung up his mantle for good. Only Moonbeam was said to know what had happened to him following his retirement. There was sometime unspoken between those two that Jiang Cheng couldn’t quite figure out but stank of probably resolved sexual tension.

“Shit!” Jiang Cheng cursed, narrowly avoiding a blast of green energy, rolling onto the nearest roof and ducking for cover.

“A-Cheng.” A-Jie chided.

“Like you didn’t say worse when you were being shot at.” Jiang Cheng argued, sending a bolt of violet lighting back.

“Back in the day, I didn’t run my mouth like a sailor, A-Cheng.”

“I bet you don’t miss this part of heroing, huh?”

“There are times I am grateful I took a permanent maternity leave, yes.” She replied. “A-Cheng! On your left! Someone’s coming your way, and its not anyone on the Lotus servers. Be on your guard.”

Jiang Cheng nodded and raised his hackles as a a figure cloaked in blinding green energy floated onto the building, their black heels clicking against the concrete roof. As soon as the figure was close enough, Jiang Cheng shot a bolt of lightning in their direction, yet, to his horror, it was deflected easily.

“Come on out little spider, I won’t hurt you.” The figure said.

Jiang Cheng swallowed thickly and stepped out, hackles still raised.

“Aiya, so defensive. Put your arms down so I can see your pretty face. I won’t try anything.” Jiang Cheng slowly lowered his arms but kept his guard up, stance firm. “So stubborn. That’s better though, hello handsome.”

The figure was slender, androgynous with long, dark hair that shone in their eerie green glow and flowed behind them in the wind, their eyes afire with the energy that seemed pulse from their entire being, almost drawing Jiang Cheng in like a moth to a particularly deadly yet hard to resist flame. Their body was wrapped in a skin-tight leather-like substance with mesh panels, leaving even less to the imagination, half of their face obscured by a mask that started at the neck and wrapped around his mouth and nose.

Jiang Cheng swallowed thickly, ready to burst into action whenever necessary.

“And what should I call you?” Jiang Cheng said steadily.

“Well, I go by he/him pronouns, but I do quite like it when sexy men like you call me beautiful.” He giggled, bouncing on his heels a little. “Binary terms are horseshit anyway, gender is a social construct.”

“Not what I meant but. I don’t like misgendering people. Even if they’re tearing up half the fucking city. So. Thanks.”

“Well, I haven’t really given myself a name yet.” The man hummed, snapping open one of the fans in his hand and fluttering it lightly. “Kinda just wanted to do one thing and hang up the whole thing I guess.”

“And you wanted to what, not get caught?”

“Well, something of the sort.”

“And you assumed you could do this tearing up half the city looking like a green lava lamp dressed like a hooker?”

“A-Cheng! Be nice!”

“Yes, listen to your sister, A-Cheng.”

“How do you know that!” Jiang Cheng snapped, his hands sparking.

“Whoa, whoa, easy hot stuff, I mean you and your family no harm. You have your headset on way too loud and everyone can hear you saying A-Jie so. Go figure.”

“Alright... I’ll be more mindful in the future.”

“He seems genuine, A-Cheng. I’m going to log off for now, but I’ll keep an eye on your vitals and see if you seem like you need help.”

“Alright...” He heard the line go quiet, her lotus icon in the corner of his visor going totally transparent.

“Is it just us?” The man asked.

“Yeah. Just us. So. What the fuck is your deal?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“The Jin corporation have fucked plenty of innocent people over, but there are also innocent people in that tower you’re trying to destroy.”

“They’re collateral. I’ve accepted those losses.” The man said, his demeanour turning cold suddenly.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“You wouldn’t understand my motivations.” The man turned around and stared ahead at the slowly burning building ahead of them.

“Ugh, what is it with villains and cryptic bullshit? I can’t let you wreck the fucking building, okay?”

“Watch me.”

Jiang Cheng lunged and grabbed his arm, earning a blast of green energy to his solar plexus that sent him staggering. Today was not his day.

“If you want a fight, then fine.” The man said, rolling his shoulders. “I’m just sorry I’ll have to kick that glorious ass of yours.”

Jiang Cheng felt his cheeks flush.

“Oh please, the spandex doesn’t hide shit.” The man said before lunging at Jiang Cheng.

Yeah, okay. This was a day Jiang Cheng really hated his fucking job. His muscles screamed with exhaustion as the man tackled him to the roof, straddling him and pinning his arms above his head. Maybe he was tired and his resolve was slipping, or maybe he had been rocking a semi for a fair amount of the fight and could admit this man was fucking hot despite his different side of the law.

The tightly coiled strength in his deceivingly slender limbs forced Jiang Cheng down as he straddled his lap. As he brushed his groin, Jiang Cheng let out a slight groan.

“Hold on,” The man said, sitting back. “Are you hard? Does fighting me turn you on?”

“Sh-Shut up! Are we gonna fight or not?!” He struggled under his grip.

Fuck, okay. The man was right. This was humiliating. Why does he enjoy this?

“I dunno, do you want some help with that?” The man purred, his long, thick lashes fanning over his cheeks as he leaned in closer, shifting his hips ever so slightly and earning another groan from Jiang Cheng.

“Are you crazy? I’m meant to be fighting you!”

“I know but, I kinda like this vibe we have going. Do you?”

Jiang Cheng bit his lip and looked away, nodding.

“I need a verbal yes.”

“You care about that?”

“I’m an anarchist not a monster, damn. Answer me.”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I... I like... this.”

“And is it a yes that you consent to this rooftop encounter?”

“C’mon I already said-”

“Yes or no spider. I won’t take that horseshit for an answer.”

“... Yes. I would like you to. Help me out.”

“Good,” he hummed, hooking a black gloved finger in his mask and tugging it down, revealing soft, pink lips pulled into a suggestive smirk. “I’m glad to be of service.” and he leaned down to press his lips to Jiang Cheng’s.

#sangcheng #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #nie huaisang #mdzs #cql #cheng qing ling #the untamed #mo dao zhu shi #ship prompts #nsfwi-sh text #my shitty writing

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boneswriteswords · 4 years

Note

Can you do something with a Witch reader and the lost boys catching her doing hexes or something on the surf Nazis? Stay safe! Xoxo

Okay I was low-key hoping I’d get a witch!reader. Thank you for blessing my inbox with the opportunity.

I kept it as a short imagine but it was really fun to write.

Its unbeta’d because we die like men here.

Tw: for implying potential sexual assault. Its like two lines but still.

~~~

You knew they were watching you. They had been for a little over a month. In the beginning, you knew it was because they scouted you as a victim, a breathing bag of blood waiting to be drained. You were young and new in the area. You walked everywhere, no car or bike in sight. You looked unassuming, the glamour a carefully crafted image of naivety.

And, most importantly, you were alone. You didn’t have family here. You didn’t have friends. You kept to yourself, rarely speaking to anyone outside of your coworkers and boss.

No one would notice if you went missing.

And with the whole incident with Michael, they needed to lay low. They needed to feed on those who wouldn’t have anyone looking for them afterwards.

Unfortunately for them, their reputations preceded them, a dark, flawless promise to those who came to the boardwalk. You knew who they were. What they were.

Max’s boys. The Lost Boys and their Half-ling and Child. The Vampires of Santa Carla. A gang of broken and angry souls. Lonely seemed too overused of an emotion to describe them, especially since they had each other, but they were. Young men stripped of life and the delusions of normalcy and sharpened into fine points, cutting those who get close enough to bleed. Infamous among those who are a part of the supernatural community in one way or another.

Yourself included.

And you had been watching them. You weren’t inclined to fade into the obscurity of the other missing people the quaint little beach town is known for and had masked yourself, walking right past them to get home safe. You made eye contact with them, a small smirk on your lips, knowing you were nothing more the swirls of impossible colors behind their eyes.

They were cute. In a feral raccoon sort of way.

From there, you masked and unmasked yourself every night. Sometimes it was randomly - a game of hide and seek. You let them see you. Let them follow you. Let them watch as you disappeared between the throngs of people on the boardwalk, slipping through their fingers like water. Other nights, you didn’t want to be bothered and masked the moment you felt them leave the cave. You’d watch as they looked for you, give up, and hunt for their next meal.

Now, you knew they watched you because they wanted to figure out what was going on with you. They probably still wanted to drink you down until you were nothing more than skeletal husk of a human but that instinct has taken a backseat to morbid curiosity.

Either way, you didn’t get involved.

It wasn’t your place to interfere and you didn’t care all that much about their goings on as long as you had your peace.

You tried not to let it weigh on your conscious, pushing the screams as far down as you can.

But you did wonder if you should reveal yourself to them as you really are. Stop toying with them. Let them know that they had to share the boardwalk now. That magic flowed through your veins faster than the blood they so desperately need did, ruthless and chosen.

It was an idle thought, a choice that you wanted to make carefully.

A choice that was robbed from you.

A snarl twitched against your lips as you were brought out to the beach, far from the boardwalk. The hands gripping your arms squeezed as the more annoying and obnoxious of the Surf Nazis tugged you forward, the scent of cheap beer clogging your nose. There was a bonfire going strong, the fire dancing in flickers and shadows as your captors rejoined the party.

“We got one!” one of your captors grinned, shoving you forward. You stumbled a little, the sand catching in your shoes. Another hand reached out to grab you and you swiped at it, anger simmering under your skin. You could feel bruises forming under your skin.

There was a tingle below your eye, a small burst of feeling on the nerve endings.

They’re here, you thought, they’re watching.

You couldn’t see them, which was fine. They weren’t your concern at the moment and you doubt they were here to help. The lion runs to the screaming lamb but not to help and all that jazz.

Looks like its time I introduced myself then.

“Ooooh woah. She’s fiesty,” one of them grinned, all crooked teeth and slanted eyes and a mockery of a prowling predator’s gait. The fire glinted in his eyes with no trace of warmth and you knew why he brought you out here. Why they were all waiting here.

You wanted nothing more than to see him forced to his knees by the sea.

The sea was a shrew of a creature. She lurks at your heels, lapping at your skin, finding your shortcomings and gnashing them with salt-water scorn. The tied lines twist and turn as she rocks you and waits for you to fall into her. She would make him suffer.

She couldn’t reach them though. You were still too far up the beach for her to grab them.

You’d just have to make them suffer instead.

And you did.

The reverberation echoing through you like a shot from a pistol as you weaved words to create and manipulate and pull the blood from their very pores. Choking gasps, like a window breaking. Crunching bone, like a footsteps on gravel. Silence, like a ringing in your ears.

The air carried the smell of rolling heavy metal and subtle floral notes and you finally acknowledged your audience.

“Hello boys. Enjoy the show?”

~~~

End

~~~

#the lost boys #the lost boys imagine #witch!reader #ask

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yourdeepestfathoms · 5 years

Text

There’s A Dragon at My Doorstep

an intro fic to hybrid AU!

------------

Welcome to the highlight of the 16th century here in England, a place where people say peace awaits everyone. What they mean is that peace and freedom await everyone that are human.

Nobody knows where they came from. The half human-half dragon people, I mean. They’ve been around as long as everyone can remember. These beings are called Dihybrids and there’s nine different breeds in total; Nightlings, Frostlings, Stormlings, Hivelings, Blazelings, Bladelings, Featherlings, Starlings, and Bloomlings (although the ‘ling’ part usually gets left out). You would know if you were one of you were born with scales on your palms. Most parents weren’t thrilled to see that on their child.

For example, Joan. A female Hive-Frost crossbreed of Dihybrid. She doesn’t live with her parents, not anymore, rather in a tower they were paying for in a city away from theirs. As long as got her out of their house, they didn’t care.

The tower they got for her really showed how much they loved her. A damp, narrow room with a reading space and a window on the opposite side. If she were any bigger, she would have problems maneuvering around the bed, but she managed well enough. This was home in all its grimy, stone glory.

Well, it was home until she caught scent of an acrid odor when she was reading a book. Her big, round ears swivel back against her head when she realized that somewhere, something was burning.

She closed her book and listened closely. The muffled crash coming from somewhere caught her off guard and the vibrations shaking the walls almost felt too real. The fear ached in her stomach, and she wanted to quell it by just saying it was a thunder. Really loud thunder, but it was just a noise, so it didn’t matter.

But she knew, deep down, that it wasn’t that, even before the real explosion.

A horrendous boom rocks the building, felt more than heard. For a moment it seems as if her whole tower tilts one way, then the other, throwing her face-first into the ancient shag carpeting around her bed. The smell of burning synthetics starts to make her gag. The air is getting hard to breathe.

Slapping her hands against the floor, Joan throws herself up to her feet. She runs for the tan satchel hanging up by the front door and puts a few things in it before jumping out the window. Her wings sprout from her back, tear her shirt, and she’s flying. From the air, she can see that half of the city wall her tower was situated against and the surrounding houses near it were on fire. People yell and she swoops down to the ground before anyone can suspect that she did this.

Crowds gather around across the street, murmuring and staring with wide eyes. Joan catches sight of another Dihybrid, but this one is in his full form. He’s big for a Blade. The rolling flames make his silver and copper scales shimmer. She pads over to him.

“What’s up, big guy?” She says, hoping to create some sort of mutual bond with the Dihybrid.

His head jerks around and he seems annoyed at first, but then he sees the large ears sticking out from the side of her head and relaxes. He looks Joan up and down before giving a soft grunt. He relaxes even more when she shifts into her natural form.

“Just watching a fire,” He finally answered. “You lived there, yeah?”

“I did.” Joan nodded, “Did you?”

“Nope,” The Blade said, “I was just passing by. Damn pinks.”

That’s what Dihybrids called humans. Funny name, but they don’t deserve any kind of regal title.

“Do you think they caused the fire?” Joan asked.

The Blade looked at her for a moment, then examined the fire.

“I’m not sure,” He admitted, “Maybe. Unfortunately, that blast impact,” He points a talon at a crater in the side of her tower, just barely visible through all the flames, “looks like something a fireball could create. But I’ve never heard of a Feather making attacks like this. They’re usually very timid.”

Joan nodded. She went to ask another question when she interrupted by yelling. Yelling that was directed at them.

“It was those beasts!” A woman yelled, “They destroyed our city! People have died in that fire because of them!”

The Blade bares his teeth. People are staring now, pointing and accusing. They’re all around them, gawking, glaring. Joan rattles the spikes on her tail as a warning.

“See! They want to strike us!” The woman howls.

“Will you shut your mouth!?” The Blade snarled, causing the lady to jump back when he snapped his jaw. He stood up taller. “We didn’t cause this. Neither of us have fire.”

“Your kind was involved. You’re all monsters.” The woman spit.

The Blade didn’t want to deal with this. He spreads his wings and jumped into the air, signaling for Joan to follow. She does.

“Where are you going to go now, kid?” He asked, flapping past buildings.

“Not sure.” Joan sighed, “I have family around. I think I’ll go to them.”

The Blade nodded.

“Good luck, then. I have to get going.”

Joan waved, and he was gone. Alone in the air with her home burning, she flew off in the other direction.

———

She flew for two days and two nights. By the time she saw her destination in the distance, rain has soaked all the way through her scales, making her insides feel like they were full of water. Still, she pushed on.

—————

Jane was exhausted, to say the least.

After twelve days of pain and struggling from her son’s birth, she finally felt alive. She wasn’t completely better, still bedridden and achy, but at least she was no longer on death’s doorstep.

However, fatigue stayed with her throughout it all. Her limbs constantly felt too heavy to move and dizziness came at her in waves. With all of that, also came the exhaustion. Dozing off became something she did the most while laying in her chambers, so when something smacked into her window, it definitely startled her.

When she looked over, her breath caught in her throat at the beast staring in at her.

With a few pushes, the latch snapped and the window bursts open, causing the creature to tumble inside. Immediately, it’s scrambling to its curved, serrated talons, standing in size similar to a horse.

A Dihybrid. Young female. Crossbreed.

It looks as if someone poured a sunset on top of ice. Moon silver and icy blue mixed beautifully with the colors of twilight. The mane of icicle-like spikes around her head are folded back against her skull and neck, but her large ears are swiveling around, taking in England’s every sound. The cluster of spikes on her tail swing around the room haphazardly as she looked around with curiosity glowing in her eyes.

Then, finally, she turns to Jane.

“Sister!”

Jane thanks every god that the crossbreed didn’t leap onto her, as the creature’s weight landing on her sore stomach probably would have killed her.

“It’s good to see you too, Joan,” Jane chuckled, running her hand over the folded icicle mane.

Joan pulled away after giving her sister a thorough nuzzling and shifts into her human form. Jane can’t help but smile at how much she’s grown since the last time she saw her.

“You had a kid, didn’t you?” Joan asked, “Sorry I missed it. Nobody gave me the memo.”

Jane laughed lightly.

“Yes, I did. A little boy.” Jane smiled at the thought of her son, “Edward.”

Joan nodded and began looking around the room again.

“What are you doing here?” Jane asked.

“My tower got, uhh, burned down.” Joan answered sheepishly, scratching the back of her head with her still-formed claws. “So I came here. To be with you.” A shy pink blush dusts her cheeks, “Mother and Father would want nothing to do with me and I don’t exactly want to become feral.”

Jane winced at the mention of her estranged parents. Well, they weren’t estranged to her, rather to her younger sister. They never enjoyed that she was a Dihybrid.

“I can stay, can’t I?”

“Of course,” Jane said quickly. Nervousness still nagged at her, despite her agreement. Her sister had...a history, to say the least. She’s always been anxious around Joan, she just hid it. Now that she had a young son, however, she would have to start disciplining if needed.

She hoped it wouldn’t come to that. She knew what happened the last time someone attempted to “domesticate” Joan.

It took a little convincing to get Henry to hire Joan, but he relented, eventually. At one point in their conversation he said something about “using a muzzle if necessary”. Jane hated how a part of her actually liked the sound of that.

A day into being the queen’s ward and the other castle staff were walking on eggshells. Joan noticed, but she didn’t show it. Jane knew she noticed by the way her ears fold back against her head, but prick up when someone whispers.

She heard everything.

“Lady Jane?”

Both sister’s heads pop up when one of the ladies in waiting, Gretchen, walks into the room with a tiny bundle in her arms.

“Someone wants to see you.”

Jane perks up and she immediately takes the baby into her arms. She smiled down at her young son, cooing to him softly. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Joan watching, fidgeting anxiously.

“Would you like to hold him?”

Jane heard Gretchen hiss underneath her breath at the offer. Jane herself was surprised that she was going to let a Dihybrid hold her infant son, even if she was her sister.

“May I?” Joan perked up.

“Of course.”

Jane sets Edward in Joan’s and Joan holds him carefully, so carefully, like he was a baby bird in the talons of a monster.

And he may as well was with a Dihybrid holding him.

Suddenly, Edward began to do something he has never done before. He was making soft noises, but they weren’t something babies usually did. Gretchen and Jane exchange worried looks.

The lady in waiting nearly pummeled Joan when the girl plucked up one of Edward’s tiny hands and brushed a claw over his palm. At her touch, emerald green with speckles of gold shimmers to life and scales, still soft at his age, plate over the skin.

A wide smile breaks on Joan’s face and her eyes glow in glee.

“He’s a Dihybrid!” She exclaimed, swaying and bouncing the baby happily, making him giggle. Despite only being barely two weeks old, there are definitely short fangs growing in. Edward swats his new, stubby little claws at the air, like he was already imagining the battles he could win with the power he would have. “He’s a Bloom! How amazing is that, Jane! Jane?”

Instead of joy, her sister’s face is stricken with terror.

#hybrid au #kinda short but more of an intro to this au than anything #joan and baby edward make me soft #also yee i like joan and jane having a mother daughter relationship but i also like them being sisters #tbh this au covers some heavy stuff later on #it gets sad #jane seymour #joan on the keys #henry the eighth #edward vi of england #six the musical #six the musical au #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfiction #six ff #six fic

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schrijverr · 5 years

Text

Gluttonies stomach, but different

Post the “Inside the belly” episode of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, a different take on what could have happend in “Doorway of Darkness” with a Harry Potter crossover.

Edward ends up in Hogwart alone and meets Harry Potter while he sets up de DA.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: mentions of canon stuff, so the genocide on the Ishval people and Xerxes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edward was facing off against Gluttony and Envy with Alphonse and Ling when it happened. They were all beat up and Edward was trying to figure out how many injuries he had when he heard Alphonse gasp. He looked and saw Gluttony getting ready to swallow Ling. Making a split second decision to save the bastard, he jumped and pushed Ling out of the way leaving himself in the beam of light on his own.

The conversations in the Great Hall stilled when a bright light flashed at the front and a small boy came flying out. He landed and rolled to break his fall. When he looked up he was vigilant, looking around ready to attack, which he seemed pretty capable of.

The teachers all flew out of their seats and surrounded the boy while holding him at wandpoint. While they were getting to him the boy started yelling in a language that they didn’t understand and he waved his arm which had a metal knife protruding from it. He yelled: “Where am I? Don’t come any closer! I said Don’t come any closer! I am the Fullmetal Alchemist, does that mean anything to you? I gave an order, stay back! Tell me where I am. Do you work for Father? Where is Alphonse, or Ling? Don’t make me ask ag- What did you do to me? Why am I saying these words?”

The boy had been hit by a spell cast by Dumbledore, who calmly said: “I merely cast a translating spell so that we could understand you.”

He wanted to add more to that statement, but the boy cut him off: “A spell? Really. You want me to believe such nonsense? Magic tricks don’t exist. Now tell me where I am and who you are.”

McGonagall frowned and asked the boy: “What are you? A muggle?”

That seemed to confuse the boy, but before he could answer Dumbledore said: “You are at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, my boy. I am Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but more call me just Professor Dumbledore or Dumbledore.”

“Yeah, magic” the boy scoffed, “you already told me that. Now what makes you believe that’s real? Probably some sort of strange alchemy. Now I’ll ask you some more questions, since you seem to be in the mood of answering, Albus. Where am I? Where are Alphonse and Ling? Do you work for Father? And- stAY BACK!” he yelled the last part when they moved closer.

He the noticed the entire student body staring at him and he snarled it their direction: “What are you all looking at? Don’t you have some weird fancy education to get to, “magic” or something.”

He huffed and mumbled some curses. Then he turned back to Dumbledore, as the students left the hall under instruction of McGonagall, and said: “You’re gonna answer or do I have to beat it out of you?”

That made some wands higher in defense which he scoffed some more at and rolled his eyes. Dumbledore had put away his wand completely and said: “I’m sorry I can’t help you. I do not know these people you speak off. Now, I feel like you have asked enough questions for us to return the favour. Who are you and where did you come from?”

The strange boy looked uncertain and for the first time since his arrival he didn’t look like a threat or an enemy, but as what he was, a scared injured boy. McGonagall put away her wand as well when she had taken a closer looked at him. He had bandages wrapped around his head, he was breathing heavily and it seemed to cause him pain, then you had a wound on his right leg that was oozing blood, and when she looked closely she noticed that the blade, which he still held defensively, wasn’t attached to his arm, but part of a metal construction that stood in for where an arm had been.

As soon as it has come the vulnerability was gone and a mask of confidence and authority slipped back on. “I am Edward, Edward Elric also known as the Fullmetal Alchemist.” the boy introduced himself.

“And where are you from, Mister Elric.” Snape sneered.

Edward scowled and said: “If you insist on titles use the right ones, it’ll be Major Elric to you.”

Ed never liked titles, but that man reminded him of some of the nastier higher-ups from back home who would do anything to look even more down upon you than they already could, so it felt good to be able to pull rank against such a guy for once.

Flitwick recognized the title and asked: “You serve in the military? At your age?”

Edward turned to professor with an eyeroll, back never leaving the safety of the speaking table. He looked annoyed, but when he saw the little Professor he brightened a bit and said: “People are always surprised by that, I’ve been there for three years now. I don’t mean to brag, but I hoped my reputation had reached beyond the borders. Which reminds me: where am I?”

“You are in England. So, where are you from?” Dumbledore said taking back the control of the conversation.

“England.” the boy mused, “Never heard of it. I’m form Amestris. How far away is that? I need to get back.”

Dumbledore looked thoughtfully and said: “I’m afraid I’ve never heard of you home country.”

Edward frowned and said: “Are you sure? We aren’t exactly unnoticeable with the amount of wars were in. You didn’t even hear of the Ishval civil war or the war with Aerugo?” Dumbledore shook his head and Edwards eye widened in panic as he started to ramble, “Do you know Drachma, Creta, Xing or even the fallen Xerxes.”

When none of the countries seemed to be familiar to is new audience the boy started breathing even more heavily as he was getting more panicked every second. He whispered to himself: “This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, people need you, is this Truths doing, wouldn’t surprise me that bastard, this is not happening, it just can’t. Oh no, I left Alphonse and Ling there with those two monsters, what could be happening to them, no, no, no, no, no.”

His panic, however, was cut short by Madam Pomfrey who stepped forward to help him. Within milliseconds the panic was gone. It was as if the boy sensed a threat and his boy acted on its own. Before they could blink Madam Pomfrey was on the ground with the arm/knife to her neck. He looked around at the professors suspiciously, eyes feral.

He seemed like he was dangerous, more than they could have anticipated. Instantly all wands were pointed at him again and Sprout said: “We don’t want to hurt you, Edward. We just want to know how and why, so let Poppy go. Or you’ll leave us no choice.”

Any sane person would know that he was surrounded by a bunch of skilled wizards and have surrendered, but this boy wasn’t most people. He clapped his hands in a prayer like manner and pushed Madam Pomfrey away with his foot before slamming his hands to the ground. The moment his hands touched the ground blue lightning shot up and with that a gigantic pillar of stone with the boy on it.

Spells and curses bounced of the pillar leaving the boy unharmed. The pillar grew and grew until Edward had reached the roof, they heard him curse and then it was quiet.

Dumbledore and McGonagall shared a look and McGonagall asked: “What kind of magic was that, Albus?”

“I don’t know, Minerva, but I am happy that Dolores is at the Ministry all day.” then he put his wand at his throat and bellowed: “Major Elric, come down there and put away your weapons and we will do the same. We do not want a conflict, if you explain your situation to us we can try to help you and look at you injuries.”

It was silent for a few more seconds then the pillar shrunk again until Edward was kneeling on the ground. He chocked: “I got, I got swallowed by Gluttony. I think that his, his stomach is a defect portal of truth and I, I ended up here by accident. I have people waiting for me and, and I, I don’t know if I’ll get back in time. What if a minute here is a year home, then everybody, everybody I know will be, will be dead and the Homu- the Homunculus will have won and Amestrist will be flattened just like Xerxes and I could do nothing.”

He screamed in frustration and some teachers could feel their heart break for the boy. He looked so small and helpless in that moment that it was easy to forget what he had just done.

Edward was now taken care of and sat wrapped up in a blanket in the Hospital Wing. He had apologized profusely to Madam Pomfrey and he had looked quite surprised when she had forgiven him. Dumbledore and McGonagall were now allowed to talk to him. “I guess I should tell you stuff now, right.” Edward said as they approached his bed.

“Uhm, so apparently magic is real here, in my world there is alchemy. It’s based in science and if you study you can do it, you don’t have to be born with some sort of gift or something. I am a State Alchemist, which basically means that I’m a dog of the military and when there’s war I need to help fight.”

“But you’re a child!” McGonagall exclaimed, unable to help herself. She hated to see kids fight.

Edward smiled and said sadly: “I gave up childhood four years ago. I made a mistake and pulled my brother along with me and I need to fix that mistake. In order to do that I need funds and access to certain things, being a State Alchemist provides that.”

“How did they allow you to join the military at, how old are you?” Dumbledore asked curiously.

“I’m fifteen now, but I was twelve when I joined, uhm, you need to take a test and one passes it of the hundreds, they probably thought I couldn’t pass it. There isn’t an age limit on it, but since I joined they’re working on that. They can’t touch me though, made sure of that.

Anyway, in search on answers I stumbled onto something, a conspiracy to wipe out my entire country. I was working with my brother, Colonel Mustang and his team, plus the twelfth son of the Xing Emperor to stop it. I was fighting two of the Humonculi when Gluttony opened his stomach and swallowed me, then I was here.”

“How do you know that it was a portal. And how could someone swallow an entire being?” Dumbledore questioned.

Edwards eyes hardened and they could see the soldier in him, a soldier who had seen too much. He said: “I’ve seen something like it before and I am here, where my countries and rules don’t exist, so logically it’s a portal and I am in another universe. As for your other question, he’s called Gluttony for a reason. At first we thought it was because of how much he could eat and what he could eat with his normal mouth and because he’s always hungry, but then he surprised us when we thought we had him tied up. His entire front can turn into this big mouth with an eye in the middle,”Edward shuddered, but went on, “He called it eating, but it would be this beam of light and when it died out everything it touched would be gone, like it had never been there at all. He was about to eat one of my friends, Ling, but I managed to push him out of the way and got hit myself. When I disappeared, I left him and my brother, Alphonse, behind still fighting him and his sibling, Envy. He can take on any shape.”

Dumbledore nodded and said: “That seems quite a pickle you’re in. We want to do anything in our power to help you, but we are also facing some problem at the moment. We are on constant watch of our government who don’t want to acknowledge that a Dark Lord has returned, so I don’t know how much we can help.”

Edward nodded and said: “I understand, I just need to find a place with lots of books, a bed and food. If there’s a training area that would be ideal, but I can manage without. You won’t see me until I’m going home. I hope you can help me.”

His eyes were pleading. McGonagall had a stroke of brilliance and said: “Albus, he could stay in the Room of Requirement. Dolores won’t even have to know he exists.”

A twinkle appeared in Dumbledore eyes and soon Edward found himself pacing up and down a hall imagining the room he wanted and feeling like an idiot. Then he looked to his side and saw that a door had appeared. With wide eyes he turned to Dumbledore who just seemed amused at his bewilderment. He huffed and bid Dumbledore goodbye as he went into the room.

Edward had been living in the Room of Requirement for three days when something happened. He was pouring over a book while absentmindedly eating something when a door started to appear and his training room changed a bit. He wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t stretched his back at the exact moment it happened.

With his hand ready to clap he watched as a group students entered. They were chattering, but that stopped when they noticed him. A boy with black hair and green eyes asked: “Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here?”

A girl with bushy hair stopped Edward from answering as she said: “Harry, that’s the boy from the Great Hall.”

“Are you sure, Hermione? They said it was a big prank form Peeves.” a Red head boy said.

Edward decided to speak up now, he said: “With what I heard you are be familiar with a cover up about everything that’s been going on. Another tip, if someone could be your enemy don’t say names. Anyway, what are you all doing here?”

None of your business.” the black haired boy said.

Edward rolled his eyes and said: “I don’t care what you do here, if you leave me alone. I just want to know if you’re gonna make any loud noises. Because if I’m gonna decipher this I need some quiet. The name is Edward, by the way.”

The other boy hesitated, then he said: “I’m Harry. We’re going to practice Defense Against the Dark Arts here, because out teacher is useless. Now tell us why you’re here.”

“Seems neat.” Edward nodded, “I live here, for now that is. Dumbledore said no one would find me here, but seems that old weirdo was wrong.”

“Don’t say that. He is one of the greatest wizards of our age.” the girl exclaimed.

“Yeah, and I am great too, but I never get respect anywhere, so whatever. Besides he calls himself Professor, but I didn’t read anywhere how he earned that title so that’s a bit pretentious, don’t you agree.”

All the kids were mad now, Edward rolled his eyes, but apologized: “Wow, sorry, geez. I didn’t know everybody loved the dude. Besides since you’re here and he thought I would be alone means that he doesn't know about this assembly. I keep my mouth shut about this and you don tell a soul outside this room about me. Is that a deal?”

He held out his hand a Harry hesitantly shook it. Edward nodded, satisfied with himself, and went back to deciphering the text in front of him. The kids looked at each other and stared at him, unsure of what to do and confused with the entire situation, until Edward snapped: “You didn’t come here stare at me, go on with your weird meeting.”

And that they did. For the next hour Edward ignored yells, light flashes, stares and weird pep talks. Then they left, which Ed was grateful for.

Over the next few weeks Edward became more stressed, but also better friends with the DA, as the group called themselves. It was nice to have contact with the outside world and other humans and Hermione was pretty smart.

Until now he had managed to hide that he was a muggle and simply told them that he was on the run for Voldemort and had sought refuge by Dumbledore. He had pretended to not know the guy so that it wouldn't seem like they were in on it together. His story was also helped by the fact that he turned up on the only day Umbridge was gone, which most would find hard to believe was a coincidence.

It was just a normal lesson when suddenly a house elf appeared exclaiming that Umbridge had found out and was coming. Immediately that whole room turned into a flurry of sounds and movements as everybody scrambled to get out. Hermione caught Eds eye and quickly transformed his clothes into some Ravenclaw robes and said: “Roll with it.”

After that it all became kind of a blur and Edward was mostly concentrating on not getting noticed. He only really came to when he was running on a bridge out of Hogwarts with Harry yelling about saving Sirius. He quickly did a double take and reevaluated the situation. When he had come to his conclusion Harry had already convinced his friends to help him and they didn’t wait for him to catch up. He yelled after them: “Stop!”

“What is it Ed? We need to move, fast.” Harry said.

“We can’t go.” Edward said.

“We already had this conversation. Sirius is in danger, we need to save him. He’s the only family I have left.” Harry told him.

With pain in his heart Ed said: “I know, but you can’t. It’s a trap, I’m sure of it.”

“Well, I’m not taking any chances, you might not understand, but I’ve lost enough and I’ve seen enough violence to be able to handle myself.”

Harry started to walk away again, but something inside Edward snapped. He said in a laughing disbelieving, borderline insane, tone: “What did you just say? I don’t understand loss, sacrifice, violence. Don’t make me laugh, kid. I’ve seen more than you can imagine, you wanna be tough, you want to fight? Dumbledore Army was it, right. Well, let me tell you a thing about armies, they couldn't exist without a hierarchy and you should listen to your superior. If you want to be a soldier that’s fine, but as a Major I outrank you, so when I tell you no to go, it’s not a request, it’s a order.”

“You are not the boss of me.” Harry yelled.

“And you are not a fighter. I see you with your fancy spells and your dueling, but war is far different from that. They won’t be fair!”

“Don’t you think we know that!”

“Maybe you know, but you haven’t seen. Entire villages wiped out, civilizations lost in a day, thousands of lives gone. You say I don’t know loss, but I’ve seen it. Dad, left. Mom, dead. Brother, walking time bomb. A friend, without working legs. An entire race, on the run, alone and scared, most of their brethren slaughtered. Monsters roaming around planning to wipe out my entire homeland and I’m stuck without being able to help. Useless.” Edward wanted to continue ranting, but was caught off guard by a flash light.

Harry and his friends looked at the vacant spot where Ed had been not to long ago. He was gone. “What happened?” Ron asked.

Harry shrugged and said: “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out later. Right now Sirius needs us.”

“You’re not going to listen to him?” Hermione said.

Harry shook his head determinately and ran off again.

Edward blinked and looked around. He was in a familiar white void, with Truth sitting across from him. In the orb floating in front of them, he saw Harry taking off. He looked at Truth and said: “Why didn’t you let me stop him?”

Truth looked at him and said: “Everywhere there is a balance, people who need to things at a certain time in order to ensure that their world flows its course. Everyone there will forget you existed, because it doesn't make sense for you to be there. You’re lucky I found you before you could change the story.”

“Will I remember it?” Edward asked.

The Truth shook his head and then left, leaving Edward in the room with two doors. He looked confused and asked: “Have there always been two doors?”

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