#fenny @ scarf
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in response to the ask game below this post, for funzies
1. Matt - He/They
2. He is similar in personality and body language, but style is different because he is more of what I wish I could afford to look like than what I look like IRL.
3. Yeah, mostly full/done backstory as it's been working and changing over the years. Every now and then I workshop it to change a bit, but it stays roughly the same.
4. Gonna be honest, I first felt scared but intrigued by him. Then it went from there. He was sort of a forbidden friendship thing! Then it just kept evolving. 💕
5. Honestly both first and third person interchangeably.
6. MAJOR design changes, he originally was just me in a P@pyrus hoodie, but I changed him to be more pink. I kept the scarf/bandana thing though! It's a trademark /hj
7. In my lore he fell and was raised in the ruins w tori, so he has a tendency to share a lot of tori's mindsets when it comes to the king of monsters. - When he finally goes out of the ruins, he's treated like a legend, because he's the first human in years, it goes to his head - He's kind of self absorbed and thinks of himself incredibly highly because of it (ego is SKY ROCKETED.) - Despite being in the underground a majority of his life, and a majority of monsters having encountered him at least once, the king isn't aware of his presence. This is on the behalf the fact that Matt gave before he went to the CORE, as he didn't want to go to the surface anymore at this point. It's quite funny, because M3ttaton wasn't informed by the doctor that Matt had turned around to go back to snowd!n at this point, so there was probably a period where m3ttaton was standing in that room waiting for hours, confused why he wasn't in the fucking core yet, until he got the memo by alphy$. M3ttaton and Matt hate eachother actually but they pretend to be friends whenever they're around each other they r fake as fuck. Also, Matt always hides when the king comes to town, or leaves town in general. The king hardly checks the UNDER NET, so he misses the docs constant posts about him. If the king were to find out, he'd be heart broken that his people, and even the head of the royal guard, were keeping this human from him for a large time.
8. Not really..?? His soul is a fan-made SOUL, Dedication.
9. When he finally leaves the ruins after years of staying in it, up until around adulthood, he meets paps. He finds Paps the most amazing monster ever (well, second best to 🌻.) and takes up any hobbies that paps has that he can smack himself into. This goes for cooking with undyn3, and long walks w paps.
10. I have too many to count, but the one I'm talking about here is und3rtale. Most of my s/i's look the same.
11. A few, the main one I draw him in is a orange sweater w a hot pink scarf, blue pants and hot pink / or magenta boots. He mock up copies paps look w different colorschemes and a more chill and fuzzy vibe to it. Tho before he left the ruins, his wardrobe consisted of cute fuzzy pink sweaters and pajama pants, and stuff tori put him in.
12. sure
13. If I could afford I'd dress as him all the timeee.... 💔💔💔
14. Yes he does get jealous easy
15. Yes he does, so far in my universe canon he interacts w @fenny-self-ships 's self insert, who selfships w paps and mettat0n ^^ We hate each other in the lore but IRL we r dating.
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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Supernormal Phenomena: Part 2
Various supernormal phenomenon. Such supernormal phenomena as telepathy and spiritualism are widespread. Millions of people who seek peace and happiness to counteract the domination of their worldview, mind, and spirit by technology and materialism, attend séances for so-called transcendental experiences. Some people are more inclined to and can perform supernormal phenomena. For example, a Madame Gibson predicted the partition of India in 1947 and the murder of John Kennedy. Likewise, Fenni Bey from Ordu, Turkey, who fought at the front of Madina during the First World War, relates:
We were under siege in Madina. I was unable to communicate with my family in Istanbul. One night in a dream I saw fire and smoke in my house. In the morning I sent for a private of mine, who was a medium. I told him to go into a trance and, travelling to my house—I told him where it was situated—describe to me what he saw. He did what I told him and began to describe: "I have reached the house, I have knocked on the door and an old woman in a head-scarf has come out with a child in her arms." I told the private to ask the woman if there was anything wrong in the house? He related to me: "She says your wife died yesterday."
Spiritualism is now widespread. Before further explanation, I should point out that I discuss such things only to emphasize that existence is not restricted to matter. Rather, as a book's main existence lies in its meaning, that which is metaphysical, spiritual, or immaterial is the essential part of existence. Matter, on the other hand, is accidental and a changing means for manifesting what is immaterial. Great saints like Ibn al-'Arabi communicated with the spirits of the dead and even of those who had not yet been born. Contemporary spiritualists and mediums communicate with unbelieving jinn or devils who appear as the dead person with whose soul they wish to communicate. Also, mediums predicting future events usually make contact with jinn and then report what they are told.
Jinn live longer than us, are active in broader dimensions (realms) of time and space, are much quicker than us, and can see things that we cannot. However, they cannot see the future and we should not believe their predictions, even though a very few of them do come true. In the past, American and Soviet intelligence services competed with each other in studying telepathy and other supernormal ways of communication. As will be explained later, in a not-too-distant future, world powers will use jinn to communicate with each other, especially in intelligence matters. However, it is dangerous to seek to contact and communicate with jinn or devils, for such beings can easily assert their influence and control those seekers.
A psychiatrist friend relates the following account:
I was invited to a necromantic event in a house in Samsun (a province in northern Turkey). The youngest daughter arranged cups and letters on a table. One of the friends present invited the soul of his late grandfather. After several calls, a man appeared. When we asked him insistently who he was, he answered: "Satan." We were greatly astonished. A while later, I asked him why he had come although we had not called him. He wrote on the table with the cups: "So I come!" I asked him whether he believed in God. He wrote "No!" When I asked whether he believed in the Prophet, again he wrote, "No!" I began reading to him some passages from a book concerning the existence of God. When I read: "A factory with such and such features points to the engineer who planned and built it," he wrote: "True"; but when I read: "So too the universe with all the planets and particularly the world with all plants and animals in it indicate God," he wrote, "No!" This continued for some time, and I began reciting to him from Jawshan al-Kabir (The Great Armor), a collection of supplications to God. While I was reciting, the cups were moving on the table. Meantime he wrote: "Give up that nonsense!" When I continued to recite, he could not endure listening and disappeared.
Like such supernormal experiences, observations of some doctors at the time of death also prove the existence of the spirit and spirit beings. What Bedri Ruhselman reports in (The Spirit and the Universe) from a doctor agrees fully with the observations of a group of doctors from Holland, which were published in the newspapers. A doctor narrates:
My wife was ill. When she went into the pangs of death, two things resembling two clouds descended into the room and hovered above her head. Meanwhile a form appeared, which was connected to my wife on the nape of the neck with a cord and was fluttering. This continued for five hours. In the end, the cord broke off and the form, the spirit, rose away. This was the end of my wife's life.
#allah#god#prophet#Muhammad#quran#ayah#sunnah#hadith#islam#muslim#muslimah#hijab#help#revert#convert#dua#salah#pray#prayer#reminder#welcome to islam#how to convert to islam#new convert#new muslim#new revert#revert help#convert help#islam help#muslim help
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sins of my youth. 010
Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3
Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.
A/N: Hello everyone. Slice of life in Hawkins when Evie ventures out and encounters different residents. Warning that things are going to take a turn so TW for manipulating and explicit physical abuse. Light racism. Evie receives some horrible threats when she tries to make a change for the better. Thank you all for turning in. Heavy heavy chapter, way more personal than I like. TAGLIST OPEN ! Chat with me if you have time. :)
Chapter 10: A Little More Sin
There were some peculiar things Billy Hargrove noted about the way Evie Fenny slept.
She burrowed into whatever was around. Face buried like she might be trying to smother herself.
She made little noise except occasional whimpers. Arguably cute.
She went dead still. He checked to make sure the girl was breathing at one point.
His favorite were the whines that erupted when he tried to untangle himself from her on the couch. Early morning daylight streamed between curtains. Silent white noise scattered the television.
A reminder of snow tumbling fresh and pristine. Washing away what was before it. Evie had fallen asleep in her fit of exhaustion still wrapped in him.
Billy simply didn’t feel like leaving so he fell too. Cast in amber. Bodies molded together.
Evie turned to burrow into the sofa and Blue came to nestle just above her crown of big curls. Billy peered at the empty pizza box and grabbed a marker to scribble a note she’d wake to. Propped it up and grabbed his coat.
Paused to admire her because that was inevitable. One look cast before he was out into the grey morning. Ice and snow as far as the eye can see.
“Shit. I'm still in Hawkins.” Billy perched a cigarette between his lips and lit up. Prepared himself for Max’s gawking when he walked in that door.
Evie stirred another hour later. Still smelling Billy’s cologne all over the couch and herself. Blue sat perched, licking her knuckle. No doubt begging for more food.
“I know,” Evie pushed out a groan, “I got you.” Brown eyes focused on bold, black letters. Marked into the grease stained pizza box.
Billy long gone.
Probably freaked that a girl sobbed on him and passed out. Evie huffed to herself. Rubbed her eyes and plucked up the box to read.
“Gonna ask you out…again. Tonight. Seven. I’ll even let you pick where we go.”
Evie shook her head and pushed up.
Figured another night with Billy Hargrove is one of the few things in her life that won’t hurt.
*** ** **
If you asked her, she’d lie.
Evie totally wasn’t out picking a new top for her not-date with Billy. Definitely not.
She wasn't worrying over the exactly placement of her curls and wondering if Billy thought they were pretty down over her shoulders.
Poor girl just...felt the urge to thrift shop. Most of her shirts and dresses were altered items she’d found. Ugly patterns galore. Evie mused over a top with an intricately painted bowl of fruit on the front and spotted a familiar helmet of red hair sitting near the fitting rooms.
“It doesn’t fit me. It’s too big.” Came a rough woman's voice from behind the curtain.
Carol only huffed as she checked her manicure and stood. Evie hid behind a tall rack of dresses when a woman came out.
She might have had the same vibrant red hair as her daughter. Once. But it was lifeless and tossed into a bun on her head.
Carol’s mother. Dorthy Perkins. Skinny, nervous thing with a slight pouch to her stomach. Tooth gap and some healed sores in her hairline. Kept rubbing her covered arms. Sunken in and shaky. Noticeable sweat on her forehead.
Obviously in need of a fix. She used to be a beauty queen like Mona. They might have even competed together, they both had daughters too young.
She came out in a velvety blouse that was too long for her torso. Little baggy around the arms.
“You didn’t tie it right. Here.” Carol wasn’t her usual bubbly self. Not the girl who schemed about terrorizing underclassmen. “Maybe we can tuck it into something.”
“I look so ugly.” Her mother peered aside. Covered her face. “That’s why Jason walked out.”
“He’s a piece of shit.” Carol mumbled.
“He was like a father to you. We spent almost seven years together. I’m ugly.”
“Stop saying that. We’re better off without him.” Carol asserted herself that time.
“He’ll be back, he always is.”
Carol only frowned, faltering. That much was true.
The false hope of it all killed.
“This color is pretty.” She went on instead. “You like blue. We can tuck it into that black skirt you have. Maybe a belt.”
“Skirt’s no good. It’s all worn and discolored. Never should have let you do the laundry.”
“Someone had to. I said sorry. You were drunk and...I saw those needles.”
“Carol, don’t speak to me like that.” This switch flipped on. She snatched her daughter’s wrist. Looked like she might try to break it.
Evie never saw that look in Carol's eyes before. It pricked her own heart with pure, pooling fear. This girl who always looked her best and turned her nose up toward everyone else.
Because she knew better.
Carol and Evie had that much in common.
Her mother continued. Darkening.
“I was not drunk. I gave it up. I’m better.”
Carol wiggled away uncomfortably. Winced at her now irritated flesh. Looked around to make sure no one saw them.
“Just keep your voice down. We’ll figure out something. You need a nice outfit. You have to get this job. Nail place doesn't pay me enough. I just started.” Carol shook her head at the same time Evie knocked into some hangers backing up.
Instantly, she was spotted.
“Evangeline Fenny.” Her mother plastered this crackling smile as she stood taller. Carol’s arms crossed. Immediate hatred. “Did you lose weight?”
“Mom.” Carol hissed.
“Hi…” Evie blinked, lips lifting. “And, no, but thank you.”
“Oh well, you look pretty. How’s your mother?” It was a courtesy. Mona wasn’t close with Mrs. Perkins. Or Carol’s stepdad. They weren’t liked in Hawkins. Kept to themselves in a dingy house. Drinkers. Users.
But, that's all nasty gossip. Carol was quick to shut it down.
“Fine.” Evie started to shuffle off because Carol looked like she was begging silently. Paused. “I like that color too and you can hem the bottom.”
“Not all of us sew.” Carol turned to ice. Evie reached into her one of her reusable grocery bags. Pulled out a little package.
“I like to cheat with this. Hem tape. It’s fast, you just iron it along the bottom. It holds well.”
“Let me pay you for that.” Mrs. Perkins grabbed her worn purse.
“No, it’s cheap and I picked up extra. They had a sale today.” The second part was a lie. Evie held it as far out as she could. Carol crossed over. Plucked it from her hand with glittery pink gemstones for fingertips.
A beat. Two girls orbiting the same great planet. Threatening to be yanked into a storm.
“Thanks.” Carol sucked her cheeks in. “Mom, go change.”
“See you late, Evie.” The woman wandered off. Carol inhaled sharper. Peered at Evie again.
“New top to show off for Bowers when school starts?” She flicked her tangerine locks, brow lifting.
Evie pressed her lips. Brown eyes narrowing.
“It’s good to see you too, Carol.” She avoided that and turned.
“I just think you should give it up. It’s really pathetic. Everyone thinks so.” Carol sneered. Looked anywhere else. “The girl who went psycho on Tannen. Dressing up for our teacher. He’s just being nice because he feels sorry for you.”
Evie paused to peer back. Felt her own pity swell.
“Then, I guess you have nothing to worry about. Huh.” She watched Carol flame up and went to pay for her items. Not able to look back. Not able to admit a connection was possible or that such distinct planets could ever align.
Boots hurried out into the cold, cheeks blooming rosy. She wrapped her scarf tighter and got near the bus stop before a hand was jerking her around into the side of a brick building.
Speak of the devil and he’ll appear. Evie's shoulders went up.
“What the fuck, Tannen? I thought Hawkins was scum you’d never set foot in.” She grunted. Saw his furious eyes dart.
“You really think I don’t know about your fucking band of ragtag shitheads? I saw you all.” He pressed his hand into the wall.
“Heard you’re single now.” Evie remarked. Fingers ripped her up a few inches by the coat.
“Don’t fuck with me, Fenny.” He said lower. Dangerous as can be.
“You already tried that game, Brock, and you lost.” Evie spat back there in the snow. He dropped her down. Laughed.
“Got closer than you liked. We had a moment.”
“It was a kiss and you were a creep.”
"You spazzed, girl, and I'm gonna find out why. What has Evie Fenny so shaken up?"
"Have you considered it's the effect you have?" Evie sneered.
“Better be careful in the coming weeks. I just wouldn’t go anywhere alone.” Across the street, his dad hollered for him, coming out of city hall.
“Daddy’s calling. Bet you’re having trouble getting away from his watchful eyes.” Evie shrugged. Shoving his arm away. "Stay away from me."
“Like I'd ever hit this for real. Fucking Psycho Sybil. That's what we call you up at Ridgemont. You’re a fat, fucking slut and you’ll never be anything else-”
“Excuse me!” A sharper voice cut in. Tannen leaned out from Evie to peer at Mr. Clarke. Bundled and unsuspecting. Not intimidating by any means, but he wasn’t backing down. “I think you outta leave her alone, Mr. Tannen.”
“We were just talking, sir.” Tanned peered at Evie, backing up. “For now. See you around, Fenny. Bet on that.” His dad called for him again so he crossed to go to their expensive, red car.
“Are you alright, Evie?” Scott Clarke. Hawkins Middle. One of Dustin’s idols.
She just sniffled. Hadn’t realized she'd even welled up.
“Yeah. Fine.”
“You know he’s the jerk, right?”
Evie roused to laugh, nodding. Psycho Sybil. That was a new one.
“Yes, I do. Thanks.” She looked down at her feet.
“Did you take the bus here?” He had a bag of books from the library in hand. Evie nodded again. “Do you want a ride home? I’d feel better knowing you’re safe. Don’t worry about guys like that. He’s going to lose all his hair and money and amount to nothing.”
Evie broke again to giggle. Little brighter now. What a teacher.
“Y-Yeah, I guess so.” Eyes peered at Scott’s grey car. “Is...that a DeLorean?”
“Gift from me to myself. My pride and joy now. Neat, huh? Dustin loved it. Do you still babysit him?”
“Not a lot these days, he’s best friends with Steve Harrington. A real cool guy now. I’m old news.” Evie stepped forward, adjusting with all her bags.
“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re pretty snazzy as they kids say… They do say that, right?”
“Ahhh, not really.” Evie watched him chuckle.
Mr. Clarke wasn't like her dad. Lanky and sweet. Always ready to brighten your dad being dorky. Jack was a cool business man. Smooth talker. Scott always made time for his students too. That was the biggest difference.
“Can I get you home safe? No pressure, I just can’t stand to see a boy act like that.” Scott gestured and Evie pressed her lips.
“Okay.” She almost said no. Had this gut feeling she should have. Not because of Scott. The guy was a sitcom star and a genius. A genuinely good man. But, a feeling gnawed like she was being watched. The door swung up.
“Neato, right?”
“That’s certainly one word. How strange.” Evie got in and Scott came around. Turned the car on to go. “Thanks...for the ride and for saying something. You didn’t have to.”
“Of course, I did. Stepping in when we see that behavior is important. It's bare minimum. I was bullied when I was young and one day I decided I wasn't going to take it anymore. The rest is history. Good history.” He turned a corner. Fiddled with the radio trying to find something the kids listen to. Evie smirked a little at that. “How’s your mom doing?”
“She’s...okay. Working a lot more.”
“And yourself? I know you had a rough year. I hope that’s not too forward to say. I try to ask Claudia about how your family is. Purely worried teacher talk. You know? I consider Mona a good friend.” He beamed there. Blushing.
“No, uh, it’s been hard. I guess.” Evie shrugged. Stared at the trees.
“My parents divorced when I was about your age. It was hard on me. My mom was one tough cookie, even found love again and they’re still happily married. Silver lining.” Mr. Clarke explained. “And I might not understand it fully myself, but I recently ended a relationship. Couple months and we both agreed with her relocating. Still friends even. Nice end. But, it’s something hard to process. A person not being there.”
Evie turned to see him watching the road carefully. Something resonated deeply.
“Mr. Clarke?"
"Yes?"
"How...do you end a relationship nicely?”
“You just be as honest as you can, I suppose. This is a person who cares about you, they should understand at some length. Life takes us so many places.” He paused at a light and turned onto Cherry. “Which house were you?”
“4817, right next to the Hargrove’s there.” Evie pointed, gathering her items. “I’ll tell my mom you said, hello. Thanks again.”
“Certainly, do that. Strange not seeing her every morning in that cafe by her shop. Take care and don’t let losers like Mr. Tannen bring you down.”
“I won’t, Mr. Clarke.” Evie beamed again and pushed out. “See you around.” She stood and jumped at Billy next to his mailbox. A wide grin crossing because of the car make.
“Look who has style.” Billy bent over to see and Evie rolled her eyes. “Mr. Clarke. We should race sometime.”
“Staying out of trouble, Mr. Hargrove?”
“Always.” He stood taller to wink at Evie as she waved then shut the door so Mr. Clarke could drive off. "And no one's pushed that guy into a locker?"
"He's snazzy as the kids say." Evie joked. Billy snickered to himself. “So, Tannen cornered me. He’s upset.”
“He cause you trouble?” Billy was distractedly stuffing a cigarette into his mouth. Evie’s lips quirked before she plucked it out. Turned it over so he had the correct end between his teeth.
Billy blinked at her proximity.
“Tried to. His dad is on him and Mr. Clarke saved the day. I don’t care about Tannen.” Psycho Sybil. Fat slut. Trying to dress up and impress her teacher. Her teacher that she was fucking. Every syllable was another sharp tack in her stomach.
Evie shifted her eyes so he changed the subject. Suggestive.
“You get my note?”
“Hard to ignore.” She peered back at him.
“That’s how I’d best describe myself, Angel.” Billy mused, blowing smoke aside. Got closer to drop the baritone. “And if I were to show up at the scheduled time? I’ll even wear the white shirt you like.”
A smile betrayed her face. Nose crinkling. Billy matched it. Not yielding.
“I might be open to a discussion at that time.” Evie turned. Voice softening. Still intent. “There’s something I need to do first.”
Billy didn’t ask what. Just watched her saunter up into her house. Enjoyed the view.
After locking the door, Evie unpacked her bags.
“Yes, I got you something too.” She watched Blue come to paw at plastic. “I spoiled you, actually. Let’s eat and put your new collar on, shall we?”
Evie got some stuff done. Food. Real food. Got Blue set up with some cat necessities. Red collar with a shiny bell. Pulled out her sewing machine to work on a couple garments. Until her hands ached. Distractions were good.
Her personal phone trilled.
“Fenny residence.” She plucked it up. Same lacquer candy apple as her painted nails.
“Evie.” Terse.
“Fredrick. You’re calling me?”
“I know your mother isn’t home and it’s your line," he explained, "I figured we were safe.”
“I was...actually going to call you soon, can we talk?”
“Oh?” His tone changed. “Now?”
“In person.”
“Right, then I’ll come get you in a bit.”
“No, there’s a bus. I’ll take that.” Evie paused. “It’s important.”
“Don’t let anyone see you on the street. See you soon.”
“Yes.” They hung up. Evie pulled on a fresh shirt and red hoodie. Brought it up over her curls. Bundled herself to venture out around four that afternoon. Three hours should have been enough. Red riding hood venturing to see the world.
She caught the bus and got off a street over. Tried to breathe. Nervous hands applied some strawberry tinted chapstick before she knocked.
“Come in.” Fredrick hurried her inside with one arm. They stood together in the narrow hallway of his rental flat. She brought her hood down. Prepared. He jumped ahead of her, dead set. “Dear, I think I know what this is about.”
“You do?” Evie dropped her arms. Standing inches from him.
“The marriage talk. Listen, I shouldn’t have pushed it. I know you probably think coming here to agree to it is what you want. Being a young girl, running off into the sunset is what you dreamed of. But, make sure you’re choosing the best decision for you-”
“That’s not why I’m here.” Evie spoke flatter. He double took at her expression. Got almost nervous.
“It’s not?” His entire body shifted.
“No.” Evie replied. Plain and simple. Not even a second thought.
It seemed to jar him. She wasn’t swooning into his arms or falling to her knees in worship.
“Well, I’m still glad you’re here.” Instantly, Fredrick was on Evie. Snatched her jaw forth for a kiss. Cupped the back of her head and moaned. Needy and sudden. Not the cool, collected teacher who was tsking because a young girl was falling deeply for him.
“Wait.” Evie was just standing there with her lips open. Eyes on a decorative framed print of Zeus and Europa. Not reciprocating while his tongue wormed inside. “Mmf, wait.” She tilted her head back. “I wanted to talk.” Brown eyes looked all directions.
"Let's talk after," he purred, "my sweet Evie. Look so pretty in red. Straight from the pages of Lolita. Sometimes I want to call you that, it'd fit you. You never did like Evangeline." It was clearly a joke, but she didn't laugh. "Oh, what about Abigail? From The Crucible. We always liked her. Something with a little more sin."
Psycho Sybil. Abigail. Lolita.
"I really want to just talk, is that okay?" Asking permission to not have sex. That was a new one and he did appear irritated. She shuffled and held herself when he stepped back.
“What’s going on, Evie?” He stood a great deal taller, hands on his hips.
“I think…” She tried to find all the right words. “I think maybe we should slow down?”
"Slow down."
"Ah...stop." Evie corrected herself. Aching. "I think we-"
“What were you doing in that man’s car today?” Fredrick cut in. Ignoring her.
“You saw me?”
“Yes, I was running my errands and I know I can’t approach you. It’ll look too strange. What was that about?”
“It… Mr. Clarke was just giving me a ride home.” Evie brought her hand up. Clutched at her hoodie.
“I just wondered if maybe you had a pattern.” He turned his head and shook it idly. “Let’s go sit down. Talk like adults.” He ushered Evie into the living room. She didn’t want to sit but followed to do it anyways. “What’s all this about, Evie? Explain it to me.”
“I care about you. You were there for me. I know that and I don’t… I won’t take it for granted. I’m just...distracted. You know, high school is ending and I think this... “ Evie closed her eyes. The truth of it was ice. “I don’t want this.”
“This? Us?”
She pressed her lips. Tried to stare at his face. Too many emotions flitting across it.
“I think we just want different things. And that’s okay-”
“You came back, Evie. All that time we spent together. That incredible summer we had. We were happy. It can always be like that."
"But," Evie realized it too, "it won't be."
"I know you’re scared. But, the future.” He took her hand in both of his. Held it tight. “Our future. We planned it. You must be terrified. Your dad left, that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you. I'll never leave you, Evie. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
“N-No…” Evie trembled. Unable to wiggle her hand away. “I think we should...just part ways. I’ll switch classes if you want. I need to focus on finishing school and-”
“I don’t want you to switch classes, do you think I can’t be mature about this?” He narrowed on her awed face. “This isn’t you, what’s gotten into your head all the sudden? Is there someone else?”
She froze. Honesty. He loved her, he'd understand.
“It’s not about that.”
“But, there is someone else?” Fredrick shook his head. Ran one hand into blond hair. Still clutching her wrist. “You tell them about us? Huh? This isn’t some silly high school game. I asked you for one thing. To keep it together.” Her jerked Evie into him.
“No! I didn’t.” She winced. “You’re hurting me.”
“No, I’m not.” Fredrick scoffed. Like she was being truly unreasonable. Alarms started to go off in her brain.
“I’ll never tell anyone, just...please. I can’t do this. It’s me. I can’t do this. I have to work on myself and it’s not fair to you. That’s all.” Evie tried to stand.
“We’re talking still, Evangeline!” A finger pointed before he tugged her back into him. Hands latched around her arms. Squeezed harsh marks into skin. “I don’t understand. Suddenly, you want out. You’re acting all afraid of me? Who knows about us?”
“No one!” She whimpered. Lungs sputtering. “I won’t ever tell anyone. I promise. I just need to think.”
“You can think right here.” He soothed. Pulling her into his chest. All the games where he played hard to get and she crawled back were lost. He really might lose her. That blared. “Let’s get something to calm your nerves. Then, you can rest and we can keep talking. I fought so hard for us. You understand that? Do you even care?”
“I don’t need to drink. I think I should just go home. I care, that's why I need to do this. It's a good thing. We can...still be friends.” Evie’s palms were spread on his chest. “My mom-”
“Isn’t even in town. I hardly think she’ll care even if her daughter is out late. Isn’t that right, dear? We both know she’s always been more preoccupied with her salon and who she’s screwing than her own daughter.” Blue eyes were alight at her. Evie went very still. "I'm the adult, I should have told your mother from the first. But, I couldn't deny you. And she doesn't even care about you, Evie, not like I do."
"Don't say that..."
He started to charge. A mad bull clicking its hooves.
“Everything we have, you just want to throw away? Move on and giggle with all your fucking little friends about me? Is that it? Think you can laugh at me and leave like my wife did-?”
“Ow, please, let me go.” Evie started to twist in the struggle. Terrified and yanking as he tugged her back into his chest. “That hurts, Fredrick, please. You're hurting me.”
“I love you, god damn it!” He shook her. Began to flame. “You want to go? Fine!”
A hard shove sent her head bouncing into the wall. Flames burst.
Evie tumbled over into hardwood. Eyes wet. Slumped down. The world almost went black. When she didn’t get up immediately, he was over her. Shifting curls from her face as she made this odd croak. Skull throbbing white hot.
Memories flashed and burnt.
“Shit... Shit, Evie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. You do this to us, you know? Oh, I just love you too much, I won’t lose you. You’re okay, it’s fine. Come, let’s get you to lie down. I’ll make you feel better.”
Evie licked her lips. Curls shaking as her head rose to see him. Hands braced on the floor to steady her dizzy frame.
The truth burned now. Became ashes.
“I don’t love you anymore.” She offered. Small and assured. Fredrick exhaled, petting her hair aside. Time slowed.
“Since, when?” He grew breathless as if he didn't understand.
“Now. Just now.” Evie pushed up into the wall. Curled away from his hands. “I want to stop.”
“Stop? After everything.”
“It’s me...and it’s you. This was wrong. It's so wrong.” She sniffled. Mascara running. “I think I should go home now. I don't feel well.”
“What if I said, no? What if I said, I don’t want you to go home?” A slow hand curled around her arm again. He got close to her face. Started to kiss her lips and temple. “I’m so sorry, Evie. Just come to bed and lie down.” He cupped her tender head, nodding. A smile beamed. “We’ll talk about this. I’ll make you feel so good. Yeah? Because only I know how.”
She tried to be hard. Tried to scare this man who still cast a shadow over her body. Fredrick started to pull her up. Pawing. Evie resisted and stayed on the floor.
“Then, I’ll tell people about you. About us.”
“Evie,” he froze to speak slower as if she was stupid, “it’s your word against mine.”
“I have a lot of words to describe you and this place and things we did. Your word against mine. I don’t need the world to believe me. Just a couple people will be enough…” She trembled and steeled against him. Fredrick dropped her like she scorched him. “They’ll ask you questions. So, let me go-”
“Is that so? You want to ruin my life?” He set his jaw.
Evie’s expression wrinkled with contained fury. A wave that would destroy an oncoming ship.
“No, you do.”
One snap. She felt the air leave her body. Yanked out crudely. A jerk that howled up her stomach. Sent her diaphragm into a panic.
He’d kicked her. Hard. Directly in the side. She came up choking and Fredrick lost his mind. Kicked her in the rib and hip until she was curled against the wall. Limbs flailing.
Screaming.
Fredrick began to panic too. As the sound echoed. Started to slap at her until that screaming stopped. Evie ripped his shirt trying to wiggle away into the hall. Got jerked over on her side
“Quiet. Just be quiet, Evie! Shut up!” One knee came down into her chest, held Evie still. Metal seeped along her tongue. A fist closed and the entire crescent of her eye swelled. Sound cut. A hand smacked her lips. Smothered her down.
Evie’s whimper choked there. She stilled. Petrified.
The frame with poor Europa crashed to the floor. Long fractures cast her painted, twisting body.
Evie stared at it. The shape of the mighty, handsome bull Zeus turned himself into to lure prey. Sweeping lovely Europa off her feet. Lungs were still sputtering to take in fresh air. Not getting enough.
For a moment, Evie thought he'd really kill her. Turned pink. Then red. Then blue. Then purple.
"I...c-can't breathe." It was the tiniest squeak imaginable. His knee shifted and some air seized.
“I just need you to be quiet,” Frederick whimpered. “I’ll let you go. Okay. I’ll let you go right home if you do it silently. If you tell someone about us, I’m going to have to hurt you again. I won't let you ruin my life. Just like my fucking wife. You can't be like her. You were too special. So, I'll hurt you, Evie. Do you want that? Do you think I want this?”
The moment her head shook, his hand came up. A gasp as she was able to breathe again. Choking and coughing. Dying.
“Fuck.” Fredrick turned her body over. “Can you move everything, alright?”
Evie refused to look at him.
“Why’d you make me do that, Evie? I can’t believe you. Screaming like a fucking child. I just needed you to be quiet. I wasn't trying to hurt you, damn it, I just needed you to be quiet.” He was breathing heavily. Frantic. Same way he would after screwing her. “God damn it.”
Hands roamed to check her over. Frederick hovered, tilted her face toward his to prod.
“Look like a broken doll like this. You’re still so pretty. You’re okay. It’s not bad.” That sounded like a lie. Evie could feel her eye socket puffing. Boiling heat. “We can make it better.”
He kissed her unmoving lips. Desperately.
“You should stay here, let me look after you.” He cooed that. Came down to lie next to her. Bringing her head into his. Stroking her hair and kissing her hot, salty cheek. “I’m sorry.”
Fredrick was crying too. Into her neck. Hard.
“I can’t lose you. I can’t stop thinking about you some days. I was ready for it to be you. Do you realize that? If this is about… Just tell me, let me fix it. Evie. I don’t want you to leave me.” He came up and sniffled pathetically. Like a baby. Saw her cold, empty eyes. "I love you, I need you to take care of me. Please, Evie."
Psycho Sybil. Abigail. Lolita. Europa. A little more sin.
Evie was somewhere else. Pressed into the wall to disappear. A hand touched her knee and Evie seized up. Scrambled back. Aching. Gasping to just be far, far away.
“I won’t tell anyone.” She said without a tremor of emotions. Eyes distant. Evie pushed herself up carefully while he hovered. “I’m gonna go home now. I'll be so quiet.”
“Let me drive you. Evie. I can fix this.” He begged and pulled at her clothes. “I can put you back together.”
Evie limped to the door.
“No, you can't, Fredrick,” she droned, “but thank you for trying anyways.” That would mean something. Anything.
It had to, right?
The door shut and he didn’t run after her. Evie whimpered up to the bus stop while cold licked her cheeks dry. Snow and ice glimmered. Too beautiful for how ugly she felt. She pulled her hood up and paid. Draped herself across a seat in the back.
Another two riders got on. Tommy H with an older woman in a plush coat. His stepmom. Caused some controversy back when Tommy was a child. His white dad would marry a black woman after Tommy’s mom passed away. Cancer.
Christ. This fucking town.
Nice lady. Sometimes she came into Mona’s shop to see her because Mona knew her way around textured curls. Evie sank down, but Tommy noticed her.
It was strange, the expression that crossed his face. She was hidden in her hoodie half behind her puffy curls. But that splotchy face and discolored skin gave the obvious away.
He didn’t jeer and instead sat down. Peered out at the street and saw the orange Plymouth there. Eyes narrowed.
“Sorry about the car, mom.” He spoke when she joined him.
“It happens, honey, it’ll be out of the shop tomorrow. We’ll tell dad that I bumped the basketball hoop.” She winked so he flashed a smile, eyes shifted to Evie again intent out the window.
A couple more riders trailed on. Some hick knocked into Mrs. Hagan’s shoulder on the way. Muttered a ugly slur Evie had heard Mr. Hargrove say on his front lawn. Jeering at their perfectly normal neighbors across the way.
“You want me to kick your ass, man? Apologize to my mother!” Tommy shot up. Protective little cub. The hick wobbled on his drunk feet. Shrunk to go to a seat as Mrs. Hagen pulled her boy down.
“He’s not worth it.”
“I won’t let people talk to you that way.” Tommy’s fists curled. Beet red. "Still my mom." She only kissed his cheek and brought him to her shoulder. Evie watched the back of Tommy’s head. Felt something similar that had curled up her spine when she saw Carol today too.
We all had our shit.
Tommy watched Evie get off at her stop. Didn’t say a word. She made herself small and went up into her house. Shut the door.
Didn’t eat anything. Bones rattled while she got into bed and curled up. Hoodie pulled close. Blue nestled by her crown, purred to comfort her.
Evie stayed there. Didn’t cry. Hated herself.
Didn’t rouse when the knocks began at seven.
Psycho Sybil. Abigail. Lolita. Europa. A little more sin.
Never Evangeline.
~~~~~~~~
Thanks all for reading!!! As always, feel free to chat with me about Billy and Evie. Askbox and taglist are both open. Sorry if the tag doesn’t work! ^_^ 🍓
@80sbxtch @nottherightseason @orxhidshavana @alagalaska @alongcamedolly @kellyk-chan @stanley--barber @10blurredsmoke10
#billy hargrove#Billy hargrove x oc#Billy Hargrove imagine#billy hargrove fanfiction#billy x angel#mine#SOMY#angel fenny#writing
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OC Inventory Meme
Thank you so much for tagging me @whatsherfacewrites !
Tagging @pikapeppa @schoute @thereluctantinquisitor @mago-emplumado @poweredbycoffeeandwine @geekgriffon
BAG
backpack | messenger pack | pockets | satchel | wristlet | purse | duffle bag | briefcase | pouch | drawstring bag | fanny pack (it’s a Fenny pack, actually)
WEAPONS
dagger | sword | axe | mace | warhammer | staff | spear | throwing knives | darts | shortbow | longbow | crossbow | arrows | bolts | enchanted weapon | poison
APPAREL
light armor | medium armor | heavy armor | underclothes for armor | enchanted armor | mage’s robes | uniform | casual clothes | formal clothes | cloak | scarf | hat | helmet | gauntlets | bracers | gloves | shoes | boots | hood | mask | belt | coat | jacket | necklace | bracelet | ring | watch | flower crown | sunglasses | undergarments (he’s a Champion and a weapon master, his bony ass need protection, ok)
HEALTH + MAGIC
health potion | mana potion | stamina potion | attribute potion | alchemy equipment | herbs | chemicals | ingredients | bandages | burn cream | antidote | moisturizer | medication | scrolls | crystals | enchanting equipment
(his utility belt is stuffed with knick-knacks)
Also all of this was just an elaborate excuse to parade my Fenquisitor more :D
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So we left off with me and Fennie moving in with Amanda. I was a bit nervous about this, because the last 2 girlfriends that I had lived with ended up crashing and burning. One took all of our shit with her while I was at work one day. Nothing better than coming home from a hard day's work to come home to…Nothing. Jack shit. The other one had pissed on our couches and threatened to cut my dick off in my sleep. I slept with a knife in my hand that night. Good times!
So you can probably understand the hesitance. There were some major lifestyle differences between us. She was high maintenance. I am a bit of a slob. She enjoyed being young and having a good time. I was heavily into the drug-free lifestyle of NA. Also…I was a vegetarian. Not just a vegetarian, but a vegan. And a super annoying self-righteous vegan at that. Now how did I get there? How does one go from downing 50 wings at Hooters during a wrestling Pay Per View to eating cashew cheese and lentils? Well it all started with a cat named George. In 2010 I was living in a shitty one bedroom downstairs unit in a shitty part of Lawton, Oklahoma. Every so often a grey cat would be wandering around the tree outside my door. I never saw a collar on him so I assume he just would just wander around the neighborhood. When I would see him from my window I would bring him cold cuts or what not. One day I looked outside and saw him climbing into the tree, however it looked like he had something stuck to his fur. I went out to see what the issue was and give him a hand. I certainly was not expecting to see what was actually in his fur. As I got closer I saw that it was actually burns and scars. It looked as if someone had poured boiling oil on him. I was horrified! This angered me beyond being able to put into words! I felt like I needed to do something. I needed to file a report or something! So I jumped onto my computer and I immediately started searching for ways to report animal cruelty. This would lead to me reading about animal cruelty in general. And this would lead me to reading about animal cruelty in the meat industry. And THIS…would lead to the videos of animal cruelty in the meat industry. And it was that day that I decided that I could not ethically participate in the anything that would promote the things that I have witnessed that day. So from then on I was all about that Vegan Lyfe, son! That was…until I got to Boston.
For my birthday in May we were able to take a few weeks off together and decided to do a bit of traveling. The plan was to spend a week in Boston, come back to Oklahoma, then drive to New Mexico to attend a wedding. Amanda and I had such an incredible time doing all of the touristy stuff that Boston had to offer. I knew a few friends from High School who moved to the Boston area so I had looked up a buddy and we ended up eating sushi at a low key Japanese bar near Boston Common. I figured a walk around after eating would be a nice end to the evening. Unfortunately my stomach had different plans. Soon after we started walking around the Commons I felt a rumble and a grumble. I turned to Amanda and informed her that we needed to find a restroom. STAT! Now here is the thing with large cities like Boston…they don’t just have a McDonalds or a WalMart that you can run into and use the bathroom. And as we continued walking around looking for ANY PLACE where I can duck in and do some damage the sense of urgency just kept rising. It is getting to the point where I am about to settle for an alley and a newspaper. And then, like a beacon of hope, I notice a familiar green mermaid a few blocks away. I immediately start booking with the gait of Abe Vigoda and reach the doors of the Starbucks in a nick of time. I tell Amanda to pull guard while I handle my business. For discretionary purposes I will not dive into the violent details but a few minutes later Amanda knocked on the door to ask if I was alright. And I was. I really was! That is…until I tried to flush. The toilet was broken. It was Dumb and Dumber, but in real life. And happening to me! By now I am looking like I ran a few laps. I am pale and covered with sweat. Like I said…violent. There is NO WAY I would have an explanation for what just went down. So…I did what any rational man would do. I pretended like nothing was wrong and walked out, all the time hoping that no one is waiting to use the bathroom after me. I don’t know what happened after I left that Starbucks that night, but my heart goes out to that poor employee who got assigned that mess.
The next day we had tickets behind the first base line to watch the Sox play the Twins. It was at this game where I came SO CLOSE to achieving a lifelong dream of catching a ball at Fenway Park. A foul ball came into the stands 2 rows behind me! I immediately scrambled to grab the loose ball when a pair of kids ran towards it. I backed off to let them snag an *official* Sox game ball. Good for that kid, right? WRONG! Because he started acting like the cockiest little prick. Talking about how quick he is and teasing his brother with his "trophy catch". I sat there thinking "Listen, you little shit. If you weren't 4 foot nothing and I would have gone after that ball as if you were a grown ass man. You would have ended up somewhere near the On Deck Circle so sit down and shut your fat ice cream covered face!" Now by this time I had been a hardcore vegan for about nine months. And I had gotten GOOD at it. I learned how to spot animal products hidden in labels. I learned which restaurants had off-the-menu vegan options. But being in Boston was going to be the ultimate test. Right now just thinking about being there and not being able to eat seafood is making me the sads. No scallops. No lobster. No chowdah. At the game I was ok with my bag of peanuts while I watched Amanda scarf down a Fenway Frank. But I have always had a weakness for cheese. Not just a weakness though. It is more like I have a problem with cheese. Not the lactose intolerance problem. It is more of an "I Binge Eat Cheese" kind of problem. If I get a night of the sads I will drown my sorrows in a 1 pound brick of muenster. Not just by the slice like a gentleman. No, I have to tear off chunks with my hands like a friggin savage. I happened to notice a lady an aisle over from us eating a slice of pizza. This was not just an ordinary slice of pizza at a baseball game though. This was perfect. The cheese was still hot and melty. The grease glistened from the stadium lights overhead. In a moment of weakness I just had to have a slice of pizza. I turned to Amanda and said "I think I am going to get a slice of pizza." She looked at me, puzzled, and asked "Are you sure? The cheese isnt…" I stopped her right there. I didn’t need to be reminded. #YOLO. So that was the last night that I was a vegan. I held on to being a vegetarian for a few years after that. We can cover that later. Anyways, back to hanging out in Boston.
We tried cramming as much as possible in the few days that we had there. We did a bit of shopping (for her. Amanda was a big fan! Me…not so much. But hey, whattayagonna do?) I took the time to just wander around looking at all the cool sights, the buidings, the people.
Our last night there we went on this super cool ghost tour around Boston Proper. It is one thing to read about these tales about Lizzie Bordon and the great molasses flood. It was a completely different ballgame when you are actually walking around their gravestones! The next day we headed back to Oklahoma, where we has just one day to rest up and pack what we needed for the wedding before hitting the road for Santa Fe, New Mexico.
I did not really know who was getting married. The bride had been a friend of Amanda for a while. Now I know that I am usually cooler than a polar bear's toenails but this was going to be the first time that I would be meeting all of Amanda's closest friends and I was fucking nervous! This was a time where I was very uncomfortable in my own skin and my anxiety was through the roof. The wedding was absolutely stunning! It was held in an adobe brick church that you could not help but marvel at when you walk inside. As the bride walked down the aisle she had a glow to her that caught my attention. It was here that I first imagined Amanda walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. After the wedding we had some time to kill before the reception. We got changed and I put on my game face. I was in recovery at the time and Amanda and her friends still enjoyed partying so I immediately felt out of place. There was also a fair amount of guilt from the feeling that I was preventing her from having a good time. These days when I am in uncomfortable social situations I will usually just start rambling until the conversation gets awkward. However, back then I would just shut down and be the large, weird, reclusive guy. And that is how the wedding reception was. It was just a lot of sipping my coffee and smiling creepily. Thankfully we did not stay long at the reception. I feel like she knew how out of place I felt but was trying my best to power through. Due to the fact that we drove up we were able to bring Fennie along for this leg of the trip so he was a valid excuse for us to leave early.
We took a cab back to the hotel and spent the rest of the night watching TV with the pup. We spent the next day wandering around the city with a few of Amanda's friends. I felt much more comfortable in this setting as I can become charming as fuck in small group situations. Jon Haber is King of the Dinner Table. I spent most of the afternoon getting to know some of her closest friends and let them get to know me a little better now that I was more in my element. There was also something about New Mexico that made me feel at east. The Land of Enchantment has a breathtaking backdrop of mountains and mesas. The architecture of Santa Fe maintains the Pueblo culture and feel.
Amanda had recently started selling jewelry (Translation: She entered a pyramid scheme) and enjoyed looking at the street vendor shops selling various turquoise trinkets. I enjoyed the laid back pace and fresh air. And the food. The food was fucking INCREDIBLE! We went to bed early so that we could head back to Oklahoma the next morning. And that was the end to yet another memorable birthday week. Despite constantly being on-the-go I felt refreshed and grounded. As it turns out I was a hit with Amanda's friends. This was relieving, as the impression that I left on them was constantly in the back of my mind. Overanalyzing the perception that I leave on others has been the one regrettable trait that I have carried in me my entire life.
We returned to Oklahoma and had a week of rest before we hit the road again. This time our destination would be to visit Amanda's mother outside of Vegas. I have never set foot in Las Vegas and was excited to see the bright lights and strange folk that I have heard so much about. For someone who often requires visual stimulation this was perfect!
I am not much of a gambler so I mostly entertained myself by watching the surroundings. It reminded me of something out of one of those In-The-Near-Future sci fi movies. Strangers crowded in the streets wearing any clothing that you could possibly imagine. Celebrity impersonators would have you making constant double takes. Tom Cruise, Pee Wee Herman, Liberace, and of course the stereotypical Vegas strip Elvis. As we were preparing to make our way back to the car the sky lit up like Broadway and an easily recognizable George Thorogood riff blares from all around. Next thing you know Lonesome George is on overhead screens everywhere playing a killer 15 minute set as I sat with my mouth wide open in awe! Being sober I could not take in the FULL Vegas Strip experience but for my first time I was it was thrilling nonetheless.
The next day we went strolling through some of the (free) attractions around Vegas. We had dropped some major coin the past few weeks and were on a tight budget. Amanda's mother lived right outside of Vegas so we had a place to stay. This was the first time meeting her mother. She reminded me a lot of my own. She had a very boisterous laugh and had a light, fun personality. She immediately fell in love with Fennie and was ecstatic to have us staying with her for a couple of days. While we were there I also met Amanda's brother and his family. So if you have been keeping track, in the course of 3 weeks I met the close friends, the mother, the brother, the sister-in-law, and the nephew. This was a pretty significant advancement in our relationship. We had to leave the next morning for Oklahoma so we opted for a nice relaxing day walking around the strip and watching the college kids having their foam parties and beer funnels. It was a great trip and I really enjoyed meeting Amanda's family. I knew that we would be back soon.
And that is where I think we will end this chapter. Join me next time as we wrap up 2011.
And perhaps a big proposal.
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sins of my youth. 007
Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3
Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.
A/N: New Year and school is back in session after winter break. Billy starts the grovelling process and observes some new things about Evie. TW: PICA-it's worse. Vomiting. Animal death mention. Student/Teacher relationship in the background. School bullies. Taglist open!!!
Chapter 7: One Bad Kiss Constellation
The first day back to school was uglier than Evie pictured. Fall of snow didn't get them out of classes.
Her stomach was already in knots, but that could have been the shiny things she’d eaten the night before.
Felt like a game. What would pass. What would tie her stomach up. These little trinkets she actually dug for, cleaned with bleach, and stacked on that empty shelf. Organized each item. Admired her display of will and control. Mostly keys and buttons. Couple nuts from a toolbox in their garage.
So far, everything came out. So far. Evie wondered what her insides would look like and tried to slow. Tried despite all the noise.
Calculus was first. Thankfully, she shared it with Heather who was all smiles. Chattering about her surprise mini trip with her parents.
They had it with Tommy and Carol too. All the fucking grins and looks Evie got burned. Tommy peering then shifting to Carol’s ear so she could giggle.
Evie’s pencil snapped within her fist so Heather glanced aside to see the pieces roll away.
“Okay, muscles.” She chuckled, passing a freshly sharpened one over.
“Thanks.”
“So, what’d you do for New Years?” All the scratching of lead on paper was driving Evie insane. Grating like an out of tune orchestra of vibrating strings.
“Just some lame party, the usual.” Evie was rubbing the back of her neck. Eyes glued to the page.
Carol giggled again. Fingernails sunk into the skin of Evie's hairline.
“Don’t know what her problem is.” Heather remarked to herself.
Evie shook her head. Lips pressing with no sound. Trying to focus on the problems along the page and not the ones fizzling in her life. Her desk was pressed into the far right wall next to all the campy posters teachers loved to decorate their rooms in.
About how there's always a silver lining and chase the morning.
Evie rolled her eyes at the thought. Caught sight of a sleek thumbtack there sticking out. Shiny and chrome. Lungs pulsed and she wondered about the weight on her tongue.
Strange how her mouth watered for it.
Two fingers subtly snatched it from the wall when the bell rang.
Second period was usually what she was excited about. English with Bowers and the sly smiles they beamed at each other across the room. Carol always looked between them. Jealous she wasn’t the hot teacher’s pet. She noticed a great deal there.
Evie shared the class with Steve also. And Billy who sat in the next row over just behind her. He stared at Evie, trying to read every twitch and shift of her body. A note hit her desk from Steve.
Brown eyes peered up as if to ask who it was being passed to, but he cocked his chin at her.
Fredrick sat quietly at his desk as they worked separately today. He didn’t see her unfold it.
What’s up with Hargrove? Looks like he’s trying to vaporize you with his laser eyes.
Evie hitched to stop herself from laughing at a picture with a stick figure and a mullet. Lasers blasting out of the eyes. She added some comically large muscles. Cleared her throat and wrote back.
He’s a creep.
Steve quirked a darling smile at her.
Billy saw a flash of stark, bloody red. Harrington made her grin without force.
“Okay, class, let’s see who read the material. Pass your papers up.” Fredrick stood to collect. “I’ll be reading these tonight and- Ah, Mr. Hargrove. Thank you for the scribbling of your Camaro. I hope the essay question is as detailed.”
“Been thinking about upgrading my girl, sir. Say, what do you drive?” Billy tapped his pencil, lazy as can be. “Cool guy, I bet.”
“Just a Plymouth. We muscle cars have to stick together.” Fredrick was pulling stacks of papers from the front. Billy didn’t drop it.
“That orange one? Yeah. I’ve seen it around.” Blue eyes drew to Evie at that. She felt a chill and peered back with a stony expression. “Bet the girlies all line up.”
A few classmates chuckled for their glorious king.
“It gets me from point A to B. That’s all I ask for.” Bowers only laughed.
"I'm sure it does." Billy mused coolly, fingers twisting his ring which caught the light.
The bell blared.
“Alright, class. We’re starting a new unit tomorrow. I hope you all have your Shakespeare hats ready.”
A collective groan sounded.
Evie rushed out to Yearbook with Jonathan, Nancy, and Heather. Only class she had where Seniors and Juniors mixed. Besides lunch if that counted. Got lost in dark rooms so the world couldn’t see her hands shaking.
"Here." Jonathan caught her trying to clip some photos up, fumbling with a stack.
"Thanks," Evie sighed, "too many pages for our losing sports teams, right?"
He chuckled at that.
"My thoughts exactly."
Jonathan went to help Nancy order some drafted pages when Heather crossed over. Eyes on Evie working.
"Something the matter?"
"Bourbon's not doing well. I expected it, but...he's just been with me through all of it. You know?" A frown etched. She didn't want to cry. Heather paused to hug Evie from behind.
"He's our little prince still. I'm sorry."
Her friend shifted out, pressed a smile and went back to work in silence. Groaned because Billy was in half these basketball photos. Alight and intense.
“Hey, I’m going to the library for lunch.” Evie spoke after that bell rang. “I’ll scarf my sandwich on the way.”
Heather observed her again. Watched how Evie avoided her eyes.
“Was...something else going on? I feel like I-”
“No, just missing the break.” Evie flashed her teeth to make it convincing.
She did manage to get half the sandwich down and tossed the rest out. Patted cold water on her cheeks once she was alone in the bathroom as everyone went to lunch. The hallway got quieter and Evie looked at her flushed face. Shuddered and reached for the pin in her pocket. Small. Deft. Dainty.
Stark point. Catching the light.
She washed it with soap. Opened her mouth to stick her tongue out. Cradled it there. Chrome and out of place against pink flesh. Lips closed. The point pressed down into her tongue. Evie winced. Tried to swallow and choked it back into her hand. Saliva dripping.
A spot of red welled. Loud and obscene and horrible. Tasting metal. Shame. Tears pooled.
So she pushed it back in like she’d done with the key to drown the noise out. Evie Fenny wasn’t a fucking quitter.
Swallow. Swallow. Swallow.
It scratched going down. Working around clenching muscles. Pangs fluttered. Fingers grasped the sink to bite a groan back.
Evie thought she heard the little plink of it hitting her stomach. Gasped to breathe. There wasn’t shame anymore, only pride. She powered through it. Had utter control.
Eyes locked with the mirror. Calm. Collected. Not in this body. Rust turned to sweet strawberries and rose petals.
Imagine stabbing something several times until it was beautiful.
Exhale.
** ** **
Carol and her gaggle still kept the laughter up in the cafeteria. She sat upon the table with Tommy next to her. Animated stories kept them hanging upon dripping syllables. Heather couldn’t stand it anymore. Pushed up to cross right over.
“What’s your problem today?” She cocked her hip.
“Oooh.” Carol clicked her glittery nails on the table. “So touchy, sweet pea.”
“What’s your problem with Evie, she didn’t do anything to you?”
“Other than her being a tart for Bowers. Nothing to me. In fact, she provides us with hours of entertainment. Had a hot date with the Keg King.” Carol nodded toward Billy across the way, sitting alone and clicking his lighter. Annoyed, he got up and went to sneak his usual lunch smoke.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Uh, isn’t Fenny your BFF?” Tina chimed in. “Shouldn’t you know?”
“Aw, that’s so cute, she didn’t tell you.” Tommy added with his crooked smile. “Must be so embarrassed. Poor girl.”
“You have five seconds-”
“I’m gonna tell you.” Carol decided. Finger curling to bring Heather in. “Only because it’s just too good.”
** ** **
Billy got one puff in before Princess Heather Holloway was smacking the cigarette from his fingers. Snarling and bright red to match the cute bow in her hair.
“Hey!”
“Hey yourself, what the fuck?” She pushed Billy clear into the brick wall. Chilled him more than the breeze. A new flutter of snow began to fall with no peace in sight. Her face was flushed cherry with anger. “I know about your little Skirt Safari bullshit! You tricked Evie! You hurt my friend...you’re an asshole.”
Billy just sagged at her. Reached to pluck up his cigarette and got it slapped again. Heather crushed it with her expensive shoe for good measure.
“You had no right to do something so disgusting! Carol and Tommy filled me in.”
His brow lifted.
“...Evie didn’t tell you?”
“The last thing Evie wants is for people to see her in pain, so I know you hurt her bad.” Her arms crossed. “Well?” A cold breath puffed.
“It wasn’t supposed to-”
“You mean, she wasn’t supposed to find out about the bet. You’re so selfish. You’re a selfish little prick. Stay the hell away from my friend.”
She turned and a hand snatched her wrist.
“Heath-”
“What?” She shrugged with some extra ire. Eyes flickering like flames. “I think you’ve done enough.”
Billy let her go, looked elsewhere. No syllables to make her stop fuming. Heather huffed at him and marched back inside to find Evie at her locker. Shoulders dropped.
“Hey…” Heather’s slow approach still gave Evie a fright. Huge doe eyes looking far too somber.
A sigh.
“Who told you?”
“Carol and those jerks.” Heather pressed her lips. “Just scared Hargrove shitless, I think. I’m sorry, I wish you told me. You said you'd tell me things.”
“This thing... It doesn’t matter. He tricked me, whatever.” Evie’s arms went out then dropped. She faced her locker. Toyed with the handle and pressed her book closer. “It was all stupid. For a moment, I thought he… I thought a boy might-”
“He’s a little prick.” Heather turned her friend around.
“We had fun. We danced. I kissed him first. Did Carol tell you that part?” Evie sucked in some air.
"Oh?"
“Yeah, I kissed him and I was going to screw him too. I was gonna go to a motel with Billy Hargrove for New Years and, you know, I...I wanted to. I really wanted him... But, it doesn’t matter. They can talk about it all they like.” She moved to go, slamming her locker shut. “I don’t care. It won’t bother me. It's stupid. All of it.”
“Evie, don’t shut down, please.”
“I’m fine.” Sneakers skidded when Heather stepped in front of her. "Boys like Billy Hargrove don't go for girls like me. He doesn't want me. That's not news."
Evie remembered all the hot bodies jumping around. The crowds and fireworks blasting along with a musical beat. Moments where she'd felt incandescently delighted next to Billy and the lingering of their starry eyes. Like they'd been meant to find each other all this time.
"Getting mad about this is the same as being upset about the pattern of stars. It's pointless." Evie swallowed a thicker lump down.
No, that's what ached. Billy made her believe they could be rewritten. Made her want to defy the stars.
“Let’s hang out this weekend. A no boys party for both of us.” Heather smiled, taking Evie's hand. “He’s not even a boy, Eve, he’s a little prick. Let’s just have some fun. Friday? Sleepover. You pick the first movie.”
“I’m fine, Heath,” the words sounded funny now, “but okay. Sleepover.”
“Good.” A brighter smile crossed so Evie matched it. She let Heather hug her and managed to make it through classes all the way to her free period avoiding Billy’s eyes on her skull. Sneaking out was an art form she’d perfected. Quick steps to her locker and toward the door. Stopping only to see into the theater when stage lights turned rose red.
Evie peeked in. Beamed.
“Mr. B.” She shuffled inside after checking the hallway. "Fredrick."
“I’m alone, Evie, come sit with me.” He patted the table next to the lightboard he was working on. The glow changed to a softer pink. Made it all less menacing. Bathed in blush, she crossed the illumination and scooted up onto the cool surface. Skirt shifting over black tights. “Bad day?”
“Bad start to the year.”
"Classmates? I can always fail them for you." He'd joked.
She smiled, head shaking so he continued.
“They’re intimidated by you, Evie, because you’re too ahead and mature for them. Soon, you'll be out in the world and they'll be left stumbling.” He peeked up behind a pair of glasses. This was old times. Encouragement. Nurturing. “Much like the director of the winter show who asked me to fix this damn thing last minute.”
She giggled then, touching her lips.
“You look pretty in this light. You should wear pink more often, instead of red.” He remarked and she crossed her ankles. Hands gripping the edge.
“Red makes me look and feel older.” Evie asserted herself.
“What about that wet gloss you used to wear in class?” His finger brushed her knee before he was picking up a screwdriver.
“Thought you didn’t like to kiss me with gloss on, you said it was too sticky.”
“I appreciate it more now that I’ve lost it. Just like you, Evie. You were there for me. It's something special to have a person. Don't you think?” He winked. Fredrick Bowers made her laugh and smile. Listened to her and gave back. Most days.
All she longed for was to impress him. Please him. Be enough for someone.
"It's not fair that I cannot kiss you here." He uttered. "Now. I'd like to."
"Just kiss me?" Evie flicked some curls, drew her fingers across her collar so he fixated there.
Played this version of herself that came out around him. This woman in red with cool words. Always game. She bit her lip and he paused to see her again. A smile crossed before they were interrupted.
Evie looked up as the door opened and Carol stood there. A glare already on her pouty face. Fredrick scooted a good few inches from Evie. Quickly.
“Sorry, I just had some questions about the reading. Mr. B.” Carol flashed a smile.
"Of course, Carol. My door is always open. Evie, thank you for the inquires. I'll be getting back with you. Soon."
Evie perked and got up.
“I'll hold you to that... We just finished. Thanks, Mr. B. For all the help.” She seemed all too chipper at Carol going green with envy. The redhead knocked into her shoulder passing, but Evie gripped her bag and went out. Frowned at the snow piling because she’d ridden her bike in.
Still, Evie was stubborn, so she got on and pedaled down the street. Sleet making it more difficult when a fucking Camaro revved down the way behind her. Billy honked once and got ignored. Pulled up in front of her and skidded over which sent Evie into a pile of frosty, dead leaves. Tumbling.
“Hell.” She just laid there until Billy Hargrove was in the line of sight. Craning to see her and utterly stunning against the opal skies. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, huh? Three hundred bucks?” She untwisted from her bike and Billy yanked her up, brushing snow aside until he got smacked off with two heated expressions penetrating.
“You’re screwing Bowers, aren’t you?” He’d hissed it.
Oof.
“You’re delusional.” Evie charged past him. Legs aching as she pushed her bike.
“Max saw you in his car. He’s always looking at you. Is that where you go when you sneak out your window three times a week?”
“No!” Evie swiveled. Breath ghosting.
“But, you’re still fucking him.” Billy slid in front, hands on the bike handles to stop her again. There was a struggle. Her cheeks puffing as she feebly tried to push him back. Teeth clenched.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Will you just move?” Her entire face scrunched together. All daggers. Slowing, Evie spelled it out for him. Drew closer. “And no one will ever believe you.”
“You think I’m trying to make your life worse, Angel? I just want you to admit it.”
"Admit, what? You have major issues? Fine! Easy! Now move!" She barely got a few inches forward with his muscles buldging. Two immovable objects.
"Open those pretty lips and say it. You're fucking our teacher. I wanna hear it from that mouth." Billy paused, chest shuddering. "You went to him after what I did. I should have stayed with you."
“I don’t owe you any of this. You're obsessed!” She shoved into him. No budging, the boy was made of steel.
“He’s a fucking pedophile. We had those in California too, chica. Maybe they don’t like the term round these parts. You think he's making you feel good, but he's setting you on fire to warm himself. That fuse is creeping, babe.” Billy pushed back until she was sliding toward his car. Slush wetting their shoes.
"You're unbelievable!"
“I’m not looking to tell anyone, got that?" Billy caught her gaze in the teetering. Held it. "I’m just saying you don’t have to do it. Anyone ever tell you that you don't have to do something, Evangeline?"
Evie stopped pushing to stare with bigger eyes as he continued. Expression crestfallen because something resonated.
"Being a good girl has a cost, you do everything people tell you to do until your organs start spilling.”
“I'm not the only one with a front. Fuck you!”
A beat.
“You almost did that night.” Billy cocked his head. "I would have made you moan so pretty. I wanted to." Evie’s mouth dropped before she shoved him into the snow. Bike falling away. He looked thrilled. About to pitch a fucking denim tent. “There you are. I would have fucked you so hard and so good, babe. Bet you even taste like heaven and stardust. Yeah? Fucking hit me.”
“Hit you?” Evie stilled over him. “You’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Fuck off, Billy.” She yanked at her bike again. He puffed there, chest sinking before he shot back up. Newfound vigor.
Growled.
“I’m sorry.”
Even the snow stilled with him. She swerved and saw him crack.
“Evie, I’m fucking sorry, okay? I’m shit at this and I‘m sorry. I’m sorry I took you to that stupid dance and screwed you over. I'm sorry you got hurt. I am sorry, got it!”
“You’re sorry that you got caught.” She pointed.
“I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Listen, Billy,” Evie spun and dropped her bike, “I don’t need anything from you. Nothing. Okay? Just let it go, I really don’t know why you can’t. Be sorry somewhere else. The stars are where they are. Life goes on.”
“Fuck the stars! They're too far away to stop us. I kissed you after midnight. I gave the fucking money away. I wanted out of it and I fucked up. I did. I'd change that, but I wouldn't change the night with you. Hear me? I didn't lie about that much." He strained to catch those brown eyes.
She opened her mouth and closed it quicker. Almost softened.
"I didn't fake that and I was shitty to take you to that place. That fucker Tannen used me to get back at you and I’m fucking sorry about it.” Billy seemed to rage the thoughts out. “You liked it too. The kiss. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”
"If you call that a kiss." Sarcasm seeped out.
"Yeah, I recall us sharing a couple." Billy laughed. Dry and disbelieving. "I was drunk, but I remember every damn second of how you felt."
“You’re not fooling me again.” Evie crushed in on herself, pressed onward. Skidding to go away from Billy Hargrove. What the hell could he possibly want out of this?
“I’ll leave you alone,” Billy sprang forward and grabbed her back wheel, “if you kiss me again and tell me it’s nothing. Just one more. Redo it. Yeah? To hell with the stars, we'll change them.”
She looked in awe at him. Shoulders dropped.
"It wasn't even that good of a kiss."
"Then, what do you have to lose over another bad one?" Billy's head tilted up. Wild as can be. Evie matched it. Both of their curls moving up against the sweep of cold winds. Hungry looks about them. Billy undid her with a damning utter. "Prove me wrong, Angel."
He fucking triple dog dared her.
Evie practically kicked her bike aside, stomped toward him, and grabbed his face to smash their lips together. Billy pounced back with a barely there sound. Shoved Evie into the side of his car.
Another vehicle honked and went around them. Probably too shocked to do much else with teenagers unable to control their hormones in the middle of the road.
Moaning like he was in a porno, Billy made this one count. Hands palmed at her ass, bringing Evie up a few inches. Tongue down her throat near ready to prick himself on the pin she'd swallowed.
She hitched as he pulled her hair to see lush hooded eyes again. But, briefly.
"Yeah?" He twisted those curls around, both of them moaned. Challenge dancing. You like that, Angel? Evie's fingers were clutching at his jacket. A nod followed. She let him trail his tongue against her lips and opened her mouth for it again. Tasted spearmint.
Drunken bodies kept moving and smacking back into his car. Billy even tried to pull her shirt up out of her skirt to touch the flesh underneath. Evie jolted out from him, having not been ravished like that by a boy so unafraid to touch her.
And she shuddered apart. Kept her eyes closed so Billy did too.
It was the only way to prolong this. A softer kiss where their noses brushed after. Foreheads pressing together. Ardent and lovely. Total silence was a thrill. Billy nuzzled his nose into her own again, pulling her body into his. Fingers crept barely under her shirt. Caressed the tender skin. Lungs and hearts needy beyond repair.
Constellations twisting together until a single question dawned. Can I keep you?
Evie quaked for air and saw him. Lashes long and too beautiful. Freckles. Snow falling like confetti. An ache flooded back. The pin pricks in her tongue jabbed. Arms pushed up at him. Felt the thumping in his chest.
Holding his jaw steady, lipstick smeared to damn them both.
“Do you always kiss the same way a thirsty dog laps at water?” She shoved him backwards. A spit trail left their mouths. Red glistened on Billy’s lips and chin. A sleazy grin cracked, tongue wiggling out to taste her still on him. Neither could breathe right.
“Haven’t had complaints.” He gasped for air. “Are you judging my technique?”
“Yeah, it sucks.” Evie puffed with more force. “And I felt nothing. Got it? Nothing. Leave me alone now.”
“You’re a shitty liar.” He watched her swerve.
“And you’re a shitty person!” She wiped her mouth. Billy stopped dead, dropped everything he was feeling to let that pierce him. “I felt nothing! Leave me alone.”
“No.” Billy decided as she plucked her bike up.
“No?"
"You heard me." A child. "No. Nope. Nada."
"But, you just said-”
“I fucking lied and now you know how it’s done.” He went around his car. “Maybe I’m a shitty person, but at least I don’t hate myself enough to lie and screw-”
“Spare me!” Evie screamed over him. Chilling. She got onto her bike and went down a dirt path so Billy couldn’t follow her.
“Fuck.” Billy slammed his car door getting back in. Revved up again, hitting the wheel. “Fuck!”
He’d made it worse.
** ** **
Billy made an attempt to leave Evie Fenny alone. Sorta. Didn’t even stare at her in school. Didn’t bring up Bowers. Pretended he didn’t hear her sneaking out to wherever.
He even tried screwing other girls. Drinking and partying to forget.
Another problem came with that.
He couldn’t keep his shit up. Tried everything. Got into bed with two girls and stayed soft. Pretended he was just too smashed.
All he saw was Evie Fenny looking at him with her huge, sad eyes. It made him furious and he tried to hate her. Tried to jerk himself off and only thought of her lipstick smearing his skin. Her amber perfume drowning his senses. Her body flush against his.
Then, he was coming.
He felt like shit about all of it and that turned to rage. No hate came, it just burnt.
Meanwhile, Evie was lining pins and screws up for her collection. She wrote down every little thing she ate and what came out.
It was supposed to all come out eventually and she'd be there to control it.
She thought of the amethyst gemstone sparkling inside her and wondered how such a thing could make her feel so happy and alive.
Even when her stomach began to ache with little pricks through the day. Even when her appetite was often ruined. Even with she tried again at times to stop it for good. The cravings undid her.
She smiled through the pain just like she was taught. A woman's disposition.
I am fine. This is fine.
Something collided distantly. Two arrows through the same heart. Spitting blood everywhere.
One night, Evie wasn’t sneaking out.
Billy still heard her scratching around the side of the house. Couldn’t help peeking to see her dragging a shovel. Holding a painted square under one arm. She set a decorated shoe box aside and started digging a hole just at the back corner of her house. Struggling to break ice and snow. Head bowed so wet curls covered her chilled face.
He opened his window.
“Hey.”
“Go away.” She sniffled. Crying.
Billy hadn’t heard or seen her cry. Not even over him and what he did. Not for anything. The sound jarred him, he thought she might have been holding in laughter.
Blue eyes drew to the box again and he realized it. Bourbon. The strange cat hadn’t been spying on him lately.
“Please,” she turned her neck to barely peer at him through red rimmed eyes, “just go away.” Evie wiped her nose and let a fresh sprinkling of snow melt on her cheeks. She still looked pretty there, utterly fatigued. Wispy, wet curls framing her splotchy expression.
"You took good care of him." Was all he said. Evie turned back. Shoulders lifting.
Billy did the only thing he could do for once.
He left Evie alone.
Listened to her hum and dig to bury the beloved cat. Billy didn’t see Evie stuff a handful of soil into her pocket and go back inside to her empty house because her mother was always out with friends or working. She went to the phone in her bedroom. Luckily, Evie got her own line two Christmases ago. She dialed.
“Hello?” Her prince.
“Can I come over?” Evie sniffled. “Bourbon died.”
“Who?”
“My cat.” Dark eyes narrowed before she started to pick at some peeling wallpaper. “You remember?” She talked about the little ball of fuzz all the time.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate, Evie.” Fredrick sighed for her. “I’m not sure after what happened last weekend. I still think you need time.”
She spazzed out as the teenagers say.
“I just...wasn’t comfortable doing that. The ropes freaked me out, I can’t explain it.” She shook her head. "I can try again, can I come over?"
"So, now I'm just pushing you into it? Don't make me the bad guy, Evie, I won't be that. I'm here for you, but I want to go at your pace. You know that."
"No, no, you're not pushing," came the protest, "I can do it. I'll try. I just wanna see you. I need to be touched." That sentiment got her welling again.
“Evie, it’s like you don’t trust me to look after you.” He replied in a clinical sort of way. “I’m risking everything to be with you."
"I know."
He said it often.
"You couldn't stop crying," he sniffled like he might weep over it, "you make me feel so helpless at times. Do you realize that?"
"I"m sorry..." Evie crushed into the phone as he made it about him. His needs. His inability to keep her happy. That was her fault.
"Too often, I think your head is just up in the clouds. These nightmares you have and the way you press into the wall when you sleep. Like you don't want me to touch you. And last week, dear, you just...wouldn't stop crying."
"I promise I won't cry anymore." She's promised her mother that as well in silence. "I swear. I'll stop."
"This fixation on your little poems. We used to have adult conversations about the future. It's like a part of you is locked away. You don't want me to touch it. What’s the matter with you?”
“Songs.” Evie replied flatter.
“What?”
“They’re songs, not poems.”
“I just mean, you should be more practical."
"I don't know what's wrong with me." Evie decided at last. Clutching the phone cord in her shaken fist. Haunted. "I can't stop."
She didn't know if she wanted to. This cycle that was eating her.
"I got back into this because I wanted you. I see a future with us. Do you want me just as bad? Think on it. I'll give you the time. When you're ready, I'm here.” Bowers advised. He wanted her to want him so bad. “We’ll talk another day. Next weekend maybe.”
"Fredrick, please-"
The line cut.
She'd been too needy, he like that on his terms. Liked when she crawled and when she needed him so bad. When she gave into everything he desired without a fuss. Fredrick wanted Evie, but he wanted a specific version of Evie. The bouncy girls on television game for anything, who had every answer. Fizzling emotions unsettled him. They were childish. But, he wanted her lips to be glossy and pink. Wanted her to be an adult woman in a spring breaking teen's body.
You'd think he was still married to his uptight wife and fucking the damn babysitter.
Evie set the phone down. Stuffed a handful of dirt into her lips. Smothered herself with it. Gritty, it stuck to her teeth like an Oreo cookie. Tiny stones shifted as she tried to swallow too much at once. She got another handful in before her gag reflex choked her. Feet scrambled to puke brown and bile into the toilet.
The Lego she ate earlier came up too. Found it helping Claudia and Dustin clear their basement. Shiny and blue.
Her stomach curdled. A few tears squeezed before she was scooping that up. Slippery with acidic bile. Pushing it back into her mouth. With her throat raw, it hurt worse the second time but it went down.
Control. She was in total control. That’s what she told herself. Curled up next to the toilet. Scalp heating while her lips hung slack.
“Nothing is the matter with me.” Evie told herself because stopping meant that thudding ache in her chest would glow all neon and rose red.
** ** **
Billy wasn’t going to leave Evie alone. He decided that after a wet dream one morning. These things were not to be taken lightly by teenage boys.
I’m sorry. It didn't cut it. Actions, that’s what Susan advised, not that he’d admit prying advice from his chirpy stepmother. Vague as can be, Billy hung out in the kitchen doorway dropping rough hints.
Maxine was more blunt when Susan asked her later.
“Oh, yeah, he’s totally crushing on Evie and he messed it all up.” She said between the lazy crunching of salty chips.
“That’s what I thought.” Susan sighed. An hour of Billy barking and hiding around the doorway told Susan that much. She was young once.
“But, he did something. She’s mad at him.”
“Well, Neil works late tomorrow, I asked Billy if he’d take me to Mona’s salon. She wanted me to go out with her friends. A dessert and wine thing she likes to host.”
“Did you tell Neil?” Max was fixing a wheel on her skateboard and snacking. Poor thing wasn't getting use with all the snow fall. Susan only smiled.
“Would you like to go get your hair done?”
“Ick.” Max cringed at the thought of those huge rollers and hairspray.
“Max.” Susan replied carefully. “Evie works tomorrow, doesn’t she? Saturday.”
She got the idea with her eyes lighting up.
“Oh!” Max blew air out her lips. “Just this once, then.”
“That’s my girl.” Susan figured if Billy was convinced it was all her idea, the day would go smoother.
** ** **
Something else Billy Hargrove learned about Mona was her hair changed with the seasons. Locks big and bold but now a strawberry blonde. A head start for spring despite it still being January.
Evie peered up at reception and noticeably, her face fell.
Susan figured whatever happened had to be bad. She’d never seen such a reaction from a teenage girl to her drop dead gorgeous stepson. Hell, Billy Hargrove could bat his lashes and have eggs dropping in every uterus within a fifty mile radius.
Might have been why Neil preferred to lock him in his room like he was the dirty tomcat about to impregnate all the neighborhood strays. Although, Neil had a list of reasons for how he treated Billy. None of them valid.
Mona went right for Max. Squished her cheeks in smelling of lavender hand cream.
“I’m so glad y’all are here! Maxie, I promise I won’t shock you. Just a wash and freshen. Make your hair nice and bouncy. It’ll shine. I always say: the higher the hair, the closer to God.” Mona took Susan’s hand. “C’mon over here. My new girl, Shelby, will get you started too. Little pampering does everyone good.”
“Hey.” Evie piped up, twirling a pen around. She’d eaten the cap an hour ago. Not much for chewing. Always up to the task of swallowing whole because she was a big girl.
Big girls sucked it up and swallowed.
Billy thought to go back to his car. Swayed on his feet there looking around at all the plants.
Actions.
Actions.
They speak louder than words. Billy was a screamer.
“Miss Mona, I was thinking we could… Uh, for me.”
“You want a wash too, Billy?” She perked, hair bobbing as her little platforms clicked excitedly. “Come, come, sit down. Evie can get you shampooed to start.”
Evie’s entire body locked. Billy smirked at her, but noticed an opportunity reach her eyes. The pen stabbed back into a cup. Lips spread in a devious way. He saw horns spring out of her big curls.
Fuck, she looked hot though.
It drove him wild. Evie with a fire behind her eyes. All plush curves and lingering allure. That amber perfume melted him.
“I’d be so happy to help.” She gripped Billy’s leather bomber and jerked him into a chair. He had a semi at this point. "Get comfy."
Hell, the girl was plotting a murder with that smoldering expression. Still, Billy was game because she was giving him attention. His tongue swept pink lips. Peachy skin glowing.
There was something off about Evie too. This sunken manner like her energy had been sapped. The slightest dark circles under brown eyes. Skirt Safari was barely three weeks ago. He removed his jacket when Mona reached for it to hang it with Max’s and Susan’s.
Dead boy walking.
Max snickered from her chair across the way. She and Susan sat with little floral capes, already getting their pampering. Evie moved Billy’s hair and pulled a lilac cape around his neck.
“Ack!”
“Oh? Too tight. My bad.” She snapped a button. “Put your head back. Into the sink now.”
Billy thought to pray for mercy, tilted back into the porcelain. He asked for this. The sink went on. Ice.
“Too cold?”
“Nope.” Teeth chattered. Evie had that devilish look still. Decided to make it warmer. Lifted the nozzle and hit his face.
And Billy took it. Sputtering.
“Oh, so sorry…” Her tongue clicked. Didn’t even try to sound sincere.
“Just a little water. No big deal.”
Her bottom lip pouted. She sprayed his face again. Billy snickered through the coughing, fists held the chair tight.
“You’re fucking waterboarding me, Fenny.” He'd spat, blinking rapidly.
“What?” Evie paused then kept spraying him as he tried to reply.
“You’re-”
“I’m, what?” She came off and Billy snorted before the water splashed again.
“Ngh-ffff- ”
“Can’t hear you, Billy.” Evie caught Max losing it across the way.
The boy took all the torment like a champ so she let up. He didn’t even snap when she pulled his hair shampooing it.
“I like it rough, Angel.” Billy hissed at her fingers pulling so she sprayed him again. Made him buck like a mad feline. He seemed to almost love it. This was foreplay to him.
“Creep. Don’t pitch a tent in that cape.” Evie stuffed a towel in his face. Smiled cheerfully. All syrup. “We're done, mommy.”
“Let’s see what I can do for these curls, Billy.” Mona let Claudia work on Susan while her new hire took over for Maxine. “I hope Evie gave you a good start.”
She certainly revved his motor, but he wasn't going to tell her mother that.
“So nice. I feel even more relaxed now.” Billy twitched a stressed smile. Earned himself a few good boy points.
Evie cracked a grin at him, arms crossing before she went back to reception. Unbelievable.
Mona had Billy chattering about his car and school and how he'd just turned eighteen in December. Life was coming his way. Evie took to doodling song lyrics in no order and tapped her pen. Mona either talked Billy into hair curlers or just started doing it. Which was another bout of amusement.
And Billy stared at Evie the entire time. Even when she made it a point to face away. Sat on the stool with her legs crossed, leaning forward to jot her little lyrics down. Susan swept her eyes between them.
Both relentlessly stubborn.
“Mona, I’ve been wanting to repay you back for the dinner this month. How about tomorrow? Our place this time.” Came her voice when a hair dryer shut off.
“We’ll bring the dessert.” Fingers played with Billy’s curls. Reminded him of his mother. Fluffed some life into them. He decided this salon was better than the places he used to go.
Music played, songs changing as time continued. Evie decided her luck couldn’t get any worse when Carol’s red hair appeared in her line of sight. Walking with her little friend group without Tommy. Likely headed to the nail place down the block.
Carol spotted Evie behind glass and whispered something that had her friends howling before they went.
“Bitches.” Billy sauntered up behind her. Golden hair sparkling.
“As if you had nothing to do with that.” Evie smacked her notebook shut. Sat straighter as he shook his locks out. Curls shining with lift. Like the sun just kissed them.
“How do I look?” One brow rose. Teasing.
“The same.” Gorgeous.
“Lunch?”
“Already ate.” Evie’s lips pressed when she said that. They spoke out of earshot under the music. Not noticing the glances on them.
“Guess I’ll still be seeing you for dinner tomorrow.” Billy counted some bills out. Snatched a pen and scribbled a note on a single. Dropped the money on the counter and pushed the one he’d written on into her pocket. She lifted an arm and glared, but let him. “We'll do this again some time. The back and forth. I pull your hair and you pull mine."
"Unlikely."
"Hm. Invest in waterproof red lipstick. Don't they have waterproof makeup now? Looks better on you than on me." His voice dropped.
"Wow. Cocky now, are you?"
"I just think it'll take us a lot of tries to get to a bad kiss. Don't you, Evie?" He replied pointedly, leaning over to speak in that low baritone. Pure amber honey.
"I think you're in denial, Billy. Gotta put pride aside." Evie bit her tongue and turned away. Loathed the blush glittering her cheeks.
"Takes one to know. I’ll wait for Max in the car. Need a smoke. See you around, Angel.” Billy swayed off after grabbing his coat. Out into the cold.
Evie put his money in their register and plucked the dollar out.
“Sorry. -A shithead.”
Billy had even gone out of his way to draw a little frowny face with a tear. Evie caught him looking at her from his car and rolled her eyes, stuffing the bill away.
Tried not to smile. Failed.
“Billy doesn’t do this kind of thing.” Max appeared a bit later. Glowy and red. Vibrant. “Just...so you know.”
“It shows.” Evie sighed out her nose. Watched Max say bye to her mother since she was staying with Mona before hurrying out into the Camaro. One rev and it skidded off. Snow flurries falling in its wake.
“She seemed mad,” Max had said in the car, “but, maybe less mad.”
“It was a big fuck up. She’ll be mad a long time.”
“And that bothers you.”
“No.” Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. Watched his sister’s lips press before he scoffed. “Max, I did something evil. You understand? Evie wants fuck all to do with me.”
And he couldn't throw her from his thoughts.
“What did you do?” Max leaned in to press the subject. “Just tell me.”
The gist of it came out by the time they parked at Cherry Lane.
Max just blinked at him. Flared. Billy cut the engine and paused, glancing at her.
“Why do boys do this to girls?” She asked, fists clenched in her lap. Rigid and puffy. “I don’t understand. Are my friends going to be like you when they get older?”
“No, Max, they’re not. I’m a piece of shit.” His shoulders came up.
“And you didn’t have to be… Keep groveling, you owe Evie that much.” She slammed the door when she got out. Expected to get barked at and slowed because he made no move. Just flicked his lighter open and closed there. Blue eyes on the steering wheel.
Exhaling into the frost, Max came around the car and jerked Billy’s door open.
“You suck at this. She doesn’t want you to do this self-deprecating game where you play the asshole victim. She wants a real apology.”
“I don’t know what the fuck she wants me to say anymore.”
“Maybe you don’t have to say anything to her.” Max paused. “Those girls and people at school, they’re mean to her. Aren't they? You’re the Keg King. Are you really going to let that happen?”
“They’re just fucking assholes, ignore them.”
“Easy for you to say being popular. What happened to Evie during the dance has been happening to her through all of high school. Don’t you see that? If you really cared, you’d do something to stop it.” The door shut on Billy before he could reply.
Max went up into the house, left him to stew on that until he followed her inside. Away from the snow and Evie’s penetrating eyes that were beginning to haunt him.
~~~~
Tensions are just shooting all directions with these two dorks. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to chat or ask about the taglist!!
TAGGED: @80sbxtch @nottherightseason @orxhidshavana @alagalaska @alongcamedolly @kellyk-chan @billy--hargroves
#billy hargrove#Billy hargrove x oc#Billy Hargrove imagine#billy hargrove fanfiction#billy hargrove fanfic#Stranger things#mine#writing#somy#billy x angel
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Supernormal Phenomena.Part2
Such beloved servants of God, whether Prophets or saints, make predictions only if He allows them to do so through His permission and power. He declares: My servant can draw near unto Me in no safer and better way than performing his obligatory religious duties. He becomes nearer to me through supererogatory prayers. Once he becomes near to Me, I become his eyes with which he sees, his ears with which he hears, and his hands with which he holds. Supernormal Phenomena and the Divine Names. The second way to travel in spirit in time and space, or to penetrate into further and deeper dimensions of time and space, is to follow the guidance of the relevant Divine Name or Names. All existence depends on the Divine Names' manifestations. We can see only because the manifestation of His Name the All-Seeing enables us to see. We continue to exist because of the manifestation of His Names the Self-Subsistent and the One-Causing-to-Subsist allows us to do so. If He no longer manifested His Name the One-Causing-to-Subsist in connection with existence, the universe would cease to exist instantly. Similarly, this practice allows angels and jinn to assume animal and human forms, provided that God allows them to do so. Especially jinn can enter an animal's body and govern its actions. They can also control people. So, by discovering the Divine Name that allows one to penetrate such dimensions and then following Its guidance in a particular affair, we can travel in time and space, and see and hear certain things that others cannot. Various supernormal phenomenon. Such supernormal phenomena as telepathy and spiritualism are widespread. Millions of people who seek peace and happiness to counteract the domination of their worldview, mind, and spirit by technology and materialism, attend séances for so-called transcendental experiences. Some people are more inclined to and can perform supernormal phenomena. For example, a Madame Gibson predicted the partition of India in 1947 and the murder of John Kennedy. Likewise, Fenni Bey from Ordu, Turkey, who fought at the front of Madina during the First World War, relates: We were under siege in Madina. I was unable to communicate with my family in Istanbul. One night in a dream I saw fire and smoke in my house. In the morning I sent for a private of mine, who was a medium. I told him to go into a trance and, travelling to my house—I told him where it was situated—describe to me what he saw. He did what I told him and began to describe: "I have reached the house, I have knocked on the door and an old woman in a head-scarf has come out with a child in her arms." I told the private to ask the woman if there was anything wrong in the house? He related to me: "She says your wife died yesterday." Spiritualism is now widespread. Before further explanation, I should point out that I discuss such things only to emphasize that existence is not restricted to matter. Rather, as a book's main existence lies in its meaning, that which is metaphysical, spiritual, or immaterial is the essential part of existence. Matter, on the other hand, is accidental and a changing means for manifesting what is immaterial. Great saints like Ibn al-'Arabi communicated with the spirits of the dead and even of those who had not yet been born. Contemporary spiritualists and mediums communicate with unbelieving jinn or devils who appear as the dead person with whose soul they wish to communicate. Also, mediums predicting future events usually make contact with jinn and then report what they are told.
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