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vinbee631 · 8 months

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What Our Parents Didn't Teach Us

chapter 3!! this is the heavy bit, I promise i have more lighthearted plans for the future, but for now, cw for homophobia, transphobia, blatant misgendering and deadnaming, + anxiety mentions and talk of divorce

the prompt for this was "no changes" which I... may have stretched a little but I like to think it still fits!

The last half hour of the drive to his parent’s house, Remus was a blur of motion in the backseat.

When Patton had noticed him picking at the red skin on his knuckles, he offered a fidget toy as a replacement, but other than that, he and his husband let him be. Remus had every reason to be stressed out, and there was no need to discuss the stimming when they’d had plenty of conversations about this day for the past week.

Everyone in the car was facing their own amount of anxiety about the day’s events. Roman’s sister, Remus’ mom, she was very well known for her unpredictability (and cruelty). She had kicked Remus out, but that had been months ago.

Roman was hopeful she was going to have a change of heart, but he was not optimistic. Mostly for Remus’ sake, but partially for his own. She was still his sister, after all. No matter how crazy or homophobic she was, a part of him was still the protective older brother, wanting to look out for her and make sure she was alright.

He tried his best to focus on literally anything else as they parked on the street in front of her house. Despite everyone’s initial anticipation, they sat in silence as the car ran, no one particularly eager to make the first move out of the safety of Roman’s car.

“We don’t have to go in until you’re ready, kiddo.” Patton unclipped his seatbelt and turned to check in on Remus. He still looked far too anxious for either of his uncles to be happy, but his determination won out eventually.

Hand in hand, the three of them walked to the door together, only breaking apart so Remus could be the one to knock on his parents’ door.

To Remus’ relief, it was not his mom that answered the door.

“Oh, buddy.” Remus let out an involuntary sniffle as his dad pushed through the doorway to wrap him in a hug. “Hey. Hi. Are you okay? I… I’m so- the apology isn’t even enough. I’m just… I’m so happy to see you.”

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, clinging back. “Um… sorry for blocking your number.”

Ron chuckled breathlessly, pulling away to cup Remus’ face in his hands. “I don’t blame you for that. I can’t deny I was worried, but… that was deserved. Uhm… would you like to come in? All of you?”

Remus took the lead, following his dad inside, with his uncles following in line behind him. After a few moments passed, and no one said anything, Remus flopped onto the couch, smiling as one of the family cats immediately made its home in his lap, purring away like nothing was wrong.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up.” Remus tensed, and found that almost instantly, he was met with two protective hands on his shoulders, one his dad’s and one his uncle Roman’s, who had both, apparently, taken a seat on either side of him. Patton stood nearby, and despite his lack of height, managed to make his stance very intimidating.

“Oh. And you've brought Roman. I suppose my daughter ran off to stay with you, then?”

“He didn’t run off, Candy. He called me to tell me he was no longer welcome in his own home, to which I drove two hours in the snow to pick him up so he didn’t freeze to death. But yes, he’s been staying with me,” Roman retorted.

Patton squeezed his hand tightly. Reassurance, mostly, and probably a warning not to get too angry just yet. Roman was… well, he’d try his best at that part.

“Of course, you of all people would play into her little- tomboy fantasy. Regardless, I am glad you brought her home. Thanks for stopping by. Oh, and maybe call Dad once in a while? He asks for you all the time.”

“First of all,” Roman huffed, squeezing Patton’s hand and Remus’ shoulder to keep his anger in check, “we’re not here to ‘drop Remus off.’ I didn’t even want to bring him here in the first place. And secondly, after the- endless amount of incorrigible things Dad has said to myself and my husband, I do not think I’m going to be doing that.”

His sister rolled her eyes. “Come on, you can’t seriously still be butthurt about that, it’s been years! And, I mean, he didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Candy glowered in Patton’s direction, staring him up and down as he spoke.

Patton shivered as a chill blew down his spine, and not the good kind.

“Look, I didn’t come here to let my family get verbally berated by quite possibly the most homophobic people in my life, and I’m not talking about your husband. We’re here because Remus is likely going to be staying with us permanently, which means he needs to switch schools.”

Candy looked briefly furious, before allowing her anger to settle into a deceptive calm. “Alright, fine. You can take Regina with you. She can come and live with you as long as she wants. Or, well, she can live with you as long as she wants, until the police come knocking with a missing report and an arrest on file for kidnapping. That’s fine with me.”

“Candy, please don’t-” Whatever reasoning Ron was trying to come up with was quickly shut down by a look sharp enough to kill. She directed her attention back to her brother and son, who both valiantly avoided eye contact.

“Oh, changed your mind so soon? I can’t imagine why. Well, I suppose I’m cooking for one more tonight. Three more, if your uncles decide to stay the afternoon? Come Regina, you can help me crack the eggs.”

“You know what?” Remus pushed himself up to stand, meeting her eyes before she could turn away. “I didn’t change my mind. I know exactly what I want, and what I’m going to do. I want to live with my uncles, for however long they’ll have me. I want to personally obliterate any person left still calling me that- stupid fucking name. It’s not even a cool name! It means ‘queen,’ which is one of the most boring definitions, there are like- fifty different names that mean royalty!

“Every time someone calls me that, it makes me want to rip all my skin off and pluck my eyeballs out of their sockets so I’d never have to look at myself again. I don’t know what you aim to accomplish by making my existence so unbearable that I’ve thought about not living anymore so I wouldn’t have to deal with it, but it’s not getting you ‘your daughter back,’ that’s for damn sure.

“And you know what? Maybe my decision will change! And that’s okay too! Maybe one day I’ll decide that the name I picked is stupid, which I won’t because the original Remus was a badass and died in such a cool way, and also it kinda matches Uncle Roman’s which makes it even cooler, but even then, it doesn’t matter! Even if I do go back to the way I was before, the fact that you never allowed that transition to be an option for me, actively putting me in danger of myself because you didn’t educate me on something that was so, so important for years, means that I will never go back to having the relationship I did with you when I was little.

“So you can go around and say that you disowned me, or that You made the wise decision to never allow me back in the house, but in the end, it’s me that’s cutting you off. It’s me that’s ending the relationship. Because even if Regina comes back, she’ll never come back to you. Cool? Cool. Dad, can you sign this for me?”

Remus’ mom gaped, flapping her mouth like a comically deformed fish as Ron gracefully accepted the pen and signed off where his son pointed.

Roman stood right next to him, with his own husband, the both of them shining with enough pride to light up the entire house.

When the legal business was over, if you could even call it that, Remus’ dad reached out for another hug, which was gratefully accepted, and they both eagerly promised to call each other, while easily ignoring his mother’s furious gaze.

She opened her mouth to say something else, probably senseless screaming, but Roman cut her off. “Candy, as much as I love you, I don’t think any of us are actively going to listen to what you have to say. So unless it’s an apology or a kinder invitation for free food, I think we’re gonna head out. Ron, it was nice to see you, as always.”

Candy did a little bit more useless flapping, before letting out a furious screech and stomping up the stairs and slamming what they assumed was her bedroom door. Remus let out an audible sigh, leaning into his uncle Roman’s side.

“That was… not really what I pictured, but okay.” Roman chuckled, ruffling his hair. “Regardless of intention, you did good, kid. You feeling alright?”

Remus took a moment to process the question before nodding. “I mean, obviously that sucked ass, but she didn’t scream at me and I said what I needed to say. All of the other emotional shit I’ll be able to deal with eventually.”

“Language,” Patton chided gently.

“English.” Remus and his dad responded in unison, chuckling at each other’s antics until Remus’ smile suddenly dropped.

“Hey, why the long face?” His dad asked, having to crouch down a bit to meet his eyes.

“I… I just realized I can’t just- take you with me. And that really sucks, and it’s very extra not fair that I have to leave but you have to stay here with her,” Remus huffed.

“Well,” his dad started, “I lived with your mother for a long time before we even had you. I think I can handle it if she’s in a bad mood. If it makes you feel better, I can call when you guys get back?”

“I guess,” Remus grumbled into his shoulder as they embraced again. “But, you gotta promise that if she starts fucking with you too that you won’t- put up with it like I did.”

Remus’ dad hesitated. “Well, that depends on how you define ‘messing with me,’ because it might be a bit late for that, bud.”

Patton’s lips twisted in a concerned frown, but before he could even open his mouth to offer what he intended to be a kind suggestion, Ron raised a hand in protest.

“I… believe I know what you’re going to suggest. And, I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about… leaving, in the past. It… well, Candy and I have been through a lot together, but when it comes down to choosing between her and my son… I don’t know that I could make that decision on a whim. Not today, at any rate.”

“Well, you’re not gonna lose me if you stay here,” Remus decided, “so you’re not choosing between anything. And like… I get it, I know you loved her way before any of the crazy bitch stuff happened, but- why not? What’s… what’s really stopping you?”

Ron sighed. “Well, mostly the emotional attachment, I will admit. Probably shouldn’t be talking to my kid about this, but- divorce is hard. I don’t… I don’t want that to be my first choice without giving her… well, she’s had time to redeem herself, but I think I need to talk with her first. About a lot of things, not just today. Things that… happened between just us.

“But! That’s a horribly depressing thought for another time. Would you boys still like to have dinner together? I can drive ya to the best pizza place in existence.”

“Oh my god, we have to go. I haven’t had Tasta Pizza since November and I am actively losing my life force without it,” Remus replied seriously, his mood immediately boosted by the offer. “You guys down?”

His uncles briefly made eye contact, but it wasn’t even really a question. “As long as I can drive instead, I suppose that can be arranged.”

Remus cheered, nearly dragging his dad out the door, already chattering excitedly about their trip, bemoaning the loss of the supposed best pizza in existence.

Seeing his dad smile, truly smile, as they fought over which slices were bigger was just enough to release the tightness in Remus’ chest, keeping his spirits up even as they drove home without him.

#transsidesweek2023 #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #original male character #original female character #transphobia #homophobia #tw misgendering #tw deadnaming #tw divorce #kinda #cw anxiety

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prodigal-explorer · 4 months

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my roleplay information/application!

hey guyssss, so like i'm kinda desperate for rp partners so i'm just gonna try my luck here and see if any of y'all are interested in rping with me! feel free to read through this information and message me if you are interested!! as long as you meet my requirements, i would love to rp with you!!

basic information

i am 18 (19 in a few weeks) and i'm okay rping with any age, but i will not rp anything relating to nsfw with a minor. not even implied nsfw, it's just very uncomfortable. but if you're 18+, i'll rp anything on this list with you!

i only rp semi-lit/descriptive. this means at least five sentences, detailed responses that aren't just surface level. it's hard to respond to stuff that's lazy, so please please please just put in the effort if you want high quality responses in return!

the fandoms i roleplay are sanders sides, undertale, your turn to die, and omori. i dabble in oc rp, but it's not very common for me since i don't really have many ocs that i like enough to rp with.

my favorite types of roleplay are heavy angst and whump. i love really dark concepts, and it's rare that i won't do something that's dark and angsty. i struggle with concepts that are just fluff because i prefer rps with a lot of conflict and struggle.

my only triggers are constant discussion about body type/comparing body types and descriptive talk of medical needles. other than that i will do literally anything lol.

i am filipino-american, audhd, physically disabled, and i love to incorporate these aspects of my identity into the characters i play. if you don't like that, we probably won't make very good rp partners.

i hate hate HATE poking. please don't remind me of the rp after ten minutes of me not responding. please don't remind me of the rp after ten HOURS of me not responding. i know it exists, i just need time to reply. if you nag me about responding, i probably will wait even longer to reply because it's intimidating.

i love to chat oorp! feel free to leave a silly message, even if it has nothing to do with rp!

scroll all the way to the bottom of the post if you want to see writing examples!! below are just specific tidbits of information pertaining to each fandom i rp!

sanders sides specific information

the main side i love to play is roman. i will always want to play roman in every single tss rp, he's just me, he's my number one homie, my favorite character of all time.

i can also play any of the other sides, but my characterization for them is not as solid as roman.

i don't really like patton in roleplays unless he's a minor character or an antagonist/villain. i am very good at playing patton as a villain, but i don't really like playing him in any other context. i have so many aus where patton is a villain or antagonist, so if that's your jam, you've come to the right place!

i will do mindscape or human aus, i love both!

i am okay with ocs but i will not do canon side x female oc. it just makes me very uncomfortable to ship sides with female characters.

some of my favorite ships are roceit, prinxiety, logince, anaroceit, analogical, intrulogical, and loceit.

the only ships i WILL NOT do are moxiety, royality, moceit, logicality, intruality, and remrom. every other ship, i'm completely okay with.

i love rping as remy or emile picani!!

i have SO MANY IDEAS for this fandom. like literally hundreds of aus. so please message me if you want to rp anything with angst, or drama, or anything like that because i have SO MUCH.

undertale specific information

so fun fact i'm actually kind of bad at undertale rp.

it's not that i'm awful i just don't have a lot of experience, but i'm working on it!

the main characters i like to play are papyrus, undyne, alphys, toriel, asgore, and gaster.

i can also play asriel/flowey, sans, frisk, mettaton, grillby, and chara if necessary.

i am totally fine with ocs, bring them on!

i don't really like rps with the au sans stuff? nothing against it, i just don't really know much about it and in the nicest way possible i don't really care. i prefer to stick with canon and prequel/sequel aus instead of aus that change up the characters' personalities and stuff.

my favorite undertale au of all time is handplates i have so many thoughts about it and i would love to rp it!

i love angsty rps but undertale is actually one of the only fandoms where i love to rp fluff for it. undertale is just such a goofy game and i love emulating that style of humor in rp!

ships i enjoy are soriel, papyton, alphyne, sansby, and whatever the ship name for alphys x gaster is?

the only undertale ships i WILL NOT rp are anything involving the child characters (frisk, chara, asriel, monster kid), and anything that ships undyne with a guy. i'm also not a huge fan of asgore x toriel but i'll do it if you really want me to!

your turn to die specific information

i am so new to rping in this fandom but i really want to anyway!! trust, i know all the lore, i just need some solid experience!

my favorite characters to play are jou, reko, nao, gin, kai, shin, hiyori, and sara.

i will play q-taro, mishima, or alice if necessary!

i am very bad at keiji, i don't think i can play him well.

i love canon and au roleplays equally! i would love to do either way!

i like pretty much all the ships, it would be easier to list ships i don't like.

i don't like any ships that involve the little kids (kanna, gin, hinako), any ships with a huge age gap (especially sara x keiji), and shin x hiyori. it's just...no.

omori specific information

i am very new to the fandom, so please have mercy on me if i get something wrong lol!

my favorite characters to play are kel, hero, aubrey, and mari!

i can play sunny if necessary.

i will not play basil. i actually don't like basil being present in roleplays, he's just a character i personally dislike. i'm fine with him showing up occasionally as a minor character, but i just don't like him being a big part of roleplays.

i will roleplay canon and aus! i love both! but bear in mind i am a bit more hesitant to rp ships in canon, but in aus i have zero reservations!

my favorite ships are anything involving sunny, kel, and aubrey being together, but my number one otp is hero x mari!

the only ships i WILL NOT do are ships that have basil in them, especially basil x sunny or basil x kel. they just don't sit right with me personally.

i don't really know much about the minor characters of the game...i might need a bit of guidance if you want to use a character that isn't a part of the main six! but i am completely fine with it as long as you're okay with me being a bit clueless.

writing samples!!!

The streets were soft, the dusty sidewalks concealed by powdery snow that made Brooklyn look like a wedding. Roman stepped lightly, wondering how high he would have to hold himself to keep his foot from sinking in the snow, ruining the shiny white blanket that protected his bare feet from the cruel asphalt.

His book remained tucked under his jacket, as if it needed protection from the biting wind. Roman didn’t think it was possible for something that carried such beautiful notions and ideas to be unfeeling, so he acted as though there was a beating heart somewhere between the pages. Nobody had ever told him there wasn’t one, so what was the harm in believing if it made the sky feel brighter, and the air feel warmer, and the world feel more connected?

When he came back to the small, tucked-away alley that he and his brothers were currently living in, he was happy to see a little fire that he could warm himself beside while he opened his new book, aching to see what was inside.

"Protect...me?"

Roman was unfamiliar. He was always used to protecting other people. He was tall, graceful and beautiful. Couldn't really throw a punch, but he had a way with his words that could get him absolutely anything he wanted. Including peace. He was used to standing between bullies and victims, seducing with his sweet smile and long eyelashes. Making anybody feel like they've been blessed just looking at him. With his parents always gone, and nobody to hold him during nightmares, Roman had gotten used to holding himself. But now, he just wanted to be protected so badly. He wanted to be truly loved by somebody besides himself.

"Okay..." he whispered, "Okay."

"Oh! Do you guys want to go to that restaurant across the street?" Patton asked, "We performed so well tonight, I think we all deserve a treat! Virgil, you hit that syncopation perfectly, and Janus, that riff was amazing! The crowd went wild for us! Drinks will be on me, as long as you all promise not to drink too much. I'll be the designated driver too. What do you say??"

Of course, this invitation was not extended to Logan. Patton didn't even notice Logan in the area, assuming that he was off sweeping the stage or packing up the van. Patton was the one who decided what everybody did, and he usually gave Logan the grease-work like that. He didn't really care very much about Logan, just because Logan wasn't as close to the group. There wasn't that bond of performing show after show, having fans that requested autographs, being followed and gushed over by paparazzi.

Since Logan was never onstage, nobody knew the face or identity of the man who wrote the songs that all these fans were so crazy about. And Patton sort of preferred it that way. He didn't really like the idea of Logan being a face of their band. Unlike Janus and Virgil, Patton wasn't sure how the public eye would recieve Logan. The man wasn't remotely ugly, but he was rather plain-looking. He tended to blend into the background of the rooms he occupied. He wasn't the type of look one would expect to be in a hugely successful band.

All the others had their "niche". Patton was the sweetheart, the nice one, the innocent one. Virgil was the quiet, brooding, mysterious one. And Janus was the charmer, able to seduce anyone with a wink and a smile. What was Logan? He didn't talk very much, he wasn't particularly nice, brooding, or seductive. Patton didn't like that Logan didn't exactly have an archetype. He didn't quite fit in.

Roman tilted his head with a polite smile and an appropriate amount of interest as Logan disclosed his name. It was nothing familiar to him, but he did think it was a beautiful-sounding name. He always loved when people's first and last names started with the same letter. It felt like a name out of a fairy-tale when it had that feature.

Listening to what Logan was saying, Roman couldn't help but go red, very embarrassed. He was bad at English, but he certainly wasn't stupid. He could tell that Logan was euphemizing heavily in order to preserve Roman's feelings, which made Roman both embarrassed that Logan felt the need to do this, and honored that Logan cared so much about how he felt. It was a really sweet gesture, honestly.

"You write music too?" he asked, very curious. "I would love to sing a song by you wrote. You will...pay me? Money?"

Roman wondered if Logan was offering him a job, or just wanting to have a jam session as friends and colleagues. He would be happy with either option, but he wanted to manage his expectations there and then, so there would be less awkwardness from false assumptions.

Roman looked at it and smiled as he read through the lyrics, his eyes carefully scanning from left to right as he ingested each lyric. His smile only grew.

"It is okay," he said, "I like messy handwriting. It means...it means your brain moves fast, and your hand must hurry to follow. I like this song. I think...I want to sing it. Do you want me to sing here? In front of everyone?"

Roman would definitely be willing to give Logan's song some publicity. And he adored the thrill of singing a song for the first time in front of a whole crowd of people. Roman wasn't the type to get stage fright. The more risky a performance was, the more excited he was to try and execute it. Roman had a bit of a shame deficiency, such was obvious with him singing those lyrics he wrote out loud multiple times.

His eyes were shining with enthusiasm, but also, with gratitude. He was thankful to Logan for the opportunity he had to bring this song to life, this brand new song that no one had ever heard before. The idea that its first breath of auditory life would be coming from Roman's own voice was so romantic that it almost made Roman want to sing it right there and then so he wouldn't have to wait anymore.

#roleplay #sanders sides roleplay #undertale roleplay #yttd roleplay #omori roleplay #sanders sides rp #undertale rp #yttd rp #omori rp #sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #sanders sides fandom #undertale fandom #yttd fandom #omori fandom

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ticklishprincey · 22 days

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Did I forget to put boundaries and all the other good shit before posting a fanfiction? Maybe. You can't prove anything. ╚»★«╝ Hi! I'm Echo, I use he/they pronouns. I write sfw tickling and regression fanfictions/headcannons/other things for lots of different fandoms (mainly whatever I'm hyperfixated on at the time). ◦•●◉★◉●•◦ I take requests, but I will ignore/block any asks/blogs containing any of the following: ✎NSFW/kink culture ✎Sexual tickling/tickle kink ✎Smut with or without tickling (makes me uncomfy either way) ✎Ageplay/DDLG/CGL/Any other form of ageplay ✎Feet (nothing wrong with them I just don't do feet period) ✎Yandere ✎Canonically gay characters shipped with females ✎Canonically lesbian characters shipped with males ✎Canonically aroace characters shipped with anyone ✎Voice teases (sorry I'm a lee I can't say the freaking word out loud) ✎Random DMs if I don't know you/follow you ◦•●◉★◉●•◦ That being said, I take requests on a lot of things, not just tickling asks. Here are a few of the things I will reply to/accept: ✎SFW tickling ✎Age regression/pet regression ✎Tickle headcannons ✎Regression headcannons ◦•●◉★◉●•◦ Lastly, here are most of the fandoms I'm in and the pairings I would be over the moon to write about: (✰ = platonic , ✿ = romantic , ♫ = happy to write either) ✎Helluva Boss ✰Blitzo & Moxxie ✰Blitzo & Fizzarolli ✰Stolas & Asmodeus ✿Millie & Moxxie ✿Asmodeus & Fizzarolli ♫ Stolas & Blitzo ✎Hazbin Hotel ✰Alastor & Lucifer ✰Alastor & Husk ✰Alastor & Rosie ✿ Husk & Angel Dust ✿Vaggie & Charlie ✎TMNT/ROTTMNT ✰Donatello and literally any one of the turtles help I'm obsessed ✎Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus/Trials of Apollo ✰Percy & Nico ✰Hazel & Nico ✰Jason & Nico ✰Will & Apollo ✿Will & Nico ♫Leo & Nico ✎Encanto ✰Camilo and literally anyone I love this character so much ✎Dear Evan Hansen ✰Evan & Jared ✰Evan, Jared & Connor ✰Connor & Zoey ♫Connor & Evan ✎Black Butler ✰Sebastian & Ciel (he doesn't have a father figure okay the child needs a hug) ✎Gravity Falls ✰Mabel & Dipper ✰Ford & Dipper ✎FNAF (mainly security breach tbh) ✰Sundrop & Reader ✰Moondrop & Reader ✰Glamrock Freddy & Gregory ✎MHA/BNHA ✰Todoroki & Izuku ✰Shinsou & Aizawa ♫Denki & Shinsou ✎Twisted Wonderland ✰Jade & Floyd ✎Voltron ✰Keith & Shiro ♫Keith & Lance (yes I am aware it's not canon let me mourn) ✎Sanders Sides ✰Roman & Remus ✰Virgil & Patton ✰Virgil & Janus ♫Virgil & Logan ✎Avengers (mainly Spiderman tbh I'm obsessed) ✰ Peter & Tony (I need Tony to adopt this sweet boy it's a need) ✰ Loki & Peter ✎Trolls (the third movie) ✰Branch and any/all of his brothers there's not enough fluff with them and it makes me sad ◦•●◉★◉●•◦ Anyway, thanks for reading my essay, enjoy my content and stay hydrated! ╚»★«╝

#intro

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im-an-anxious-wreck · 2 years

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My Name Is Logan Sanders-Miller

AO3 link

Summary: Pictures and the occasional story from his mother. That's all Logan had ever had of his father. Just one little photo album, and painful memories confessed to him in the dark, it wasn't much, but it meant everything to him.

His father hadn't wanted Logan. His mother had said that he took one look at Logan and left. Had there really been something so off putting about him that one glance was all it took to drive his father away?

Logan hadn't even done anything. All it took to make his father leave was just him existing apparently.

So, why the hell was he standing outside Sanders' house? Was he seriously going to ask his father why he didn't want Logan? Was he trying to prove himself to Patton, that he really was good enough and that Patton had missed out? Or maybe prove to himself that his father was shitty and that's why he didn't want Logan…

In any matter, Logan wasn't going to turn back now. This was it.

Knock knock

Warnings: cursing, past alcoholism, like five f-words (probably a new record for the minimum in my fics /j)

Universe: a human au

Perspective/main character: Logan

Side/secondary characters: Patton, Janus

Appear: Remus, Roman, Virgil, female oc (Logan's mother), Thomas

Mentioned: Emile Picani

Romantic relationship: established Moceit

Platonic relationships: Logan & everyone

Word Count: 9,277

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

This is for the @sandersidesbigbang's event

Find the adorable artwork by @badkatart here and the really cute art by @thecrowslullaby here!

Thanks @aplacesofaraway for beta reading!

Logan knew he didn't want him, he'd known since he was a little child when he'd asked his mother why he didn't have a father like most of the other children. Logan had been devastated to find out that his father hadn't wanted him, but the question of why… that had haunted him.

Why didn't he want Logan? His mother had said that he took one look at Logan and left. Had there really been something so off putting about him that one glance was all it took to drive his father away?

Had it been Logan's blue eyes? Doubtful since he'd gotten those from his father. Was it his dark hair? It's true that neither of his parents had hair as dark as his, instead, he got his dark locks from his maternal grandmother, but surely it couldn't have been because of such a superficial reason as that.

Logan hadn't even done anything. All it took to make his father leave was just him existing, apparently.

But why? What were his exact thoughts when he left?

There was only one way Logan would be able to know, and that was to ask his father himself.

Logan sighed, mentally shaking himself as he looked up to the house he was now standing in front of.

It was a rather nice house, Logan couldn't help but think, with its blue panel siding and white trim. It was on the large side, had two stories, and yellow shutters. The multicoloured flowers were well tended to and the spacious yard was surrounded by a white picket fence. It looked like the perfect family home.

Logan took a deep breath and opened the wide gate. Closing it behind himself, he walked up the path to the white door.

He clutched the small photo album closer to his chest with his left hand and, curling his right, he raised his fist to knock. It just floated above the wood. He took another deep breath but still hesitated.

Was this it?

Logan quickly knocked twice before he could figuratively get cold feet.

Was he actually about to meet his—

The door swung open before Logan could finish the thought. A man dressed in mostly black, and a bit overdressed for a gentle spring day such as this one with his bowler hat, yellow gloves, and caplet, answered the door.

"Yes?"

Logan opened his mouth to answer but shut it again when no sound came out.

The tall man stared at Logan expectedly, dark brown and light brown —almost yellow— eyes seeming to look into Logan's very core. Which was ridiculous, that wasn't even scientifically possible.

The man looked at Logan for another moment before raising an eyebrow.

"Well? You've been staring at my house for a few minutes now. Can I help you with something, child?"

Logan blinked a few times before his brain finally caught up. "Ah, yes, actually, I believe you can." He pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "I'm looking for… Patton Sanders?"

The man's eyebrow only raised farther at that. "And may I ask why you are looking for him?"

Logan was now hugging the album with both arms. "Ah, so you do know him, which means I have the correct address. Excellent. And yes, you may ask that."

The man continued to stare at Logan —was this going to be a recurring thing?— before sighing softly. "Why are you looking for Patton?"

"Well… I have some… information I would like to—"

Another man, whose face Logan had all but memorized from the album, appeared behind the first man's shoulder.

"Who's at the door, honey?" Patton asked the first man.

"I don't know, the kid's looking for you though."

Patton turned to Logan. "Oh, hello! Can I help you with something, kiddo?"

"Um…" Logan cleared his throat. "I hope so. I have some informa—"

"Papa!" A boy about seven ran up to Patton before announcing, "Remus bit me!"

The first man sighed. "I'll take care of it," He said to Patton before calling into the house, "Remus? Why'd you bite your brother?" He led the boy back into the house where Logan could hear Remus arguing farther into the house.

"Sorry about that. Now, what were you saying, kiddo?"

"Well, my mother is Cindy M—"

A teenager came up behind Patton, his purple hair almost completely covering his eyes. "Yo, Pat, why's the Wi-fi not working?" He tapped something on his phone and frowned.

Patton sent an apologetic look to Logan as he told the teen, "I don't know. Ask your dad, sweetie."

"Okay." He looked up from his phone. "Oh, shit, did I interrupt? Sorry."

"Virgil, lang—"

The teen, Virgil, raised an eyebrow and Logan could really see the resemblance between him and the first man who'd answered the door.

Patton sighed. "I know, I know. I— you're alright, maybe see if your dad needs help with the twins though?"

Virgil glanced at Logan again before nodding. "Yeah, alright. I can ask him about the Wi-fi after we get the twins to stop fighting then." He gave a two-fingered salute before disappearing back into the house.

"I'm so sorry about that, but that's everyone so hopefully we won't get interrupted again. What was that about your mom?"

He didn't belong here. There was no way Logan belonged here with this warm, emotional family. They were obviously tight-knit and it's not like Logan was particularly special or useful. And what did he even expect to find? For this man, his… his… for Patton to welcome Logan with open arms?

If he didn't want Logan as a baby, then why would he ever want him now? Especially after seeing how boring, awkward, and socially inept he was.

What a fool Logan had been.

"Uh… kiddo? Are you selling something? ...You don't have to be nervous. Just tell me your spiel… Do kids these days even know what a spiel is?"

Logan went to take a breath but realised he couldn't, which only made it harder to breathe as he panicked.

"Woah, it's alright! Just take a deep breath. You're okay, just take your time."

Logan did his best to do what Patton instructed, even if only to not waste any more of his time.

"Apologies for the inconvenience, I shall be on my— um, my way now."

"You don't have to leave! You haven't even told me your name or why you were looking for me."

"Er, well… my name is Logan."

"Aww, Logan, what a nice name. That's what I would've named a kid if I'd have gotten to name one."

"I— wait, really?"

"Yes, really!" Patton smiled softly. "So, what was that about your mom… I think you said her name was Cin…dy. Um, s— Cindy who?"

"Cindy Ann Miller."

"Oh… and your name is…"

"Logan Sanders-Miller."

"Oh. Oh, geez."

Logan took a few steps back as Patton stepped out onto the porch. Patton shut the door behind himself and sat down on a white bench.

"So you're… Cindy's your mom?"

"She is my biological mother, yes."

"Wow, I— I almost can't believe she even remembered what my favourite baby name was. It's been… wait, how old are you?"

"Twelve, sir."

"You don't need to call me sir. I mean, you're my… my…” He paused. "Why now though? Why didn't she just— why now?"

Logan blinked in surprise. "Did she not tell you of my existence?"

"No, she didn't. I— I would've been in your life if she had. I promise, Logan."

"Oh, I didn't know that she never… she'd said that you… that you didn't want me."

Tears welled up in Patton's eyes, making guilt stab at Logan's chest.

"That couldn't be further from the truth, Logan. It's true that I most likely wasn't ready for parenthood at that time, but I would've learned. I would've learned from, but also for you. I would've been there for you."

"I… I see. That's…"

Patton wiped his eyes and Logan was once again reminded of how out-of-place he was.

"Should I go?"

Patton looked up in surprise. "What? I— no! I mean, if you have anywhere you need to be, then of course. But…" Patton let out a weird laugh. "Sorry, I'm sure I look a mess right now. It's just… a lot to process. Um… oh, does Cindy know you're here?"

"Yes, she found and gave me your address."

"Okay… yeah, okay. That's good." Patton wiped away the last few tears. "Well, that wasn't a very polite welcome on my part!" Patton attempted to joke. He didn't succeed.

"It was adequate in my opinion. You have been far kinder than necessary and asked why I —seemingly randomly— showed up on your doorstep. You could have told me to leave at any point but you didn't, instead, you listened to everything I had to say."

"Aw, thanks, Logan, but that's really the least I could do. I've… geez, I've missed so much. I really do want to be there for you though, I want to get to know you. As long as that's alright with you and your mom of course."

"I… I believe so. She did give me your address and said I could visit if I wanted to."

"I'm not really sure how to put this, but… do you still want to?" Patton looked at Logan with hesitation and… hope?

"Yes, I still want to."

The reaction was immediate, Patton's face figuratively lighting up. "That's great. I… I really am gonna try, Logan. I promise."

"...You want to try?"

"Yes, I do."

"Oh… well… then I shall try as well."

Patton smiled gently at Logan. "Alright. Sounds good— better than good, in fact!"

"Better than good," Logan echoed.

"Hey, it's a Saturday so I know you won't have school, would you like to come inside and meet everyone?"

"Oh…"

"You don't have to, of course! I don't wanna overwhelm you after all. Just giving you the option."

"Ah, well, if it's alright, perhaps some other time? …If there is another time."

"That's just fine! And of course there'll be another ti— I mean, if you want there to be another time. Sorry, I guess I didn't even consider that you might not… I mean, I completely understand if you resent me and decide at any point that you'd rather not see me anymore."

"Oh, that's… when I said 'if there is another time', I meant if you still wanted to meet again after today."

"Oh, I do as long as you do! Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, technically I can think of a few reasons, but mostly I just didn't want to assume. Not everyone wants a random child in their life."

"Yeah, I suppose, but that's not me." Patton huffed lightly. "If anything I love random children in my life, you're the fourth one so far! My husband, Janus, had a son long before we met, and we both adopted the twins a few years ago."

"Ah, I see. What's one more, then?"

"Exactly! …That didn't quite sound right. I'd still want you in my life even if I didn't have Virgil and my sons. I was just trying to say that I'm not new to children rather suddenly appearing."

"Oh…" Logan's chest twisted with some emotion that he couldn't quite place.

"And besides," Patton continued, "You're not just a random child, you're my random child!"

"But that doesn't— wait, was that a Kung Fu Panda reference?"

Logan couldn't help but feel amazed at how quickly Patton had accepted him. Sure, it might not last long if Logan messed it up —as he did with most things—, but still, Patton hadn't even known Logan for thirty minutes, and was already calling Logan his child.

"Sure was! The twins really like that movie so I know quite a lot of the dialogue."

"Ah, I see."

There was a small lull in the conversation before Patton changed the subject with, "So… would you want to go to the park?"

"...I'm twelve."

"Uh, okay… I don't see what— Oh, I didn't mean on the playground necessarily! There's a nice walking trail, plenty of benches, and even an ice cream stand."

"Mm, that sounds pleasant… I'm allergic to dairy though."

"Oh, sorry, kiddo. 'Fraid you get that from me."

Logan stared at Patton incredulously. "You were going to take me to an ice cream stand, despite being allergic to dairy yourself?"

"...Yes. I— I don't always make the best decisions when it comes to dairy, okay? I mean, my favourite food is mac 'n' cheese."

"You… that's unfortunate."

"Oh, definitely. I don't let it stop me though."

"I have only heard legends of people who eat the food they're allergic to."

"Legends?"

"I… thought it sounded cool. Apologies, I shall refrain from—"

"No, you're fine, Logan! I was just wondering what legends had people eating their allergy in it, that's all."

"Ah, none to my knowledge. The closest I can think of would be the Norse myth in which Balder had a dream that he was going to die, so his mother Frigg made all the plants, trees, and animals promise to never hurt Balder, but she forgot to ask mistletoe. The gods assumed that Balder was invincible and often used him as a target for knife-throwing and archery. One day they were all playing darts, and Loki, having learned from Frigg that Balder wasn't immune to mistletoe, made a dart from the plant and pretended to help guide the blind god Höd's hand. But under Loki's supposed assistance, Höd struck his brother, Balder, piercing his heart and killing him.

"Although Balder wasn't allergic to mistletoe in that case, it was just the only plant that could hurt him, and then Loki was being mischievous, which makes sense as he's the god of mischief." Logan paused, realising that he'd rambled on for longer than he'd intended. "Ah, apologies, that was a rather long story with very little relevance."

"You're fine! I enjoyed listening! It's been quite a while since I heard that story anyway, and I can see how your mind made the connection."

"Oh, okay… well, thank you for listening."

"Of course, Logan. Anytime."

Logan frowned a bit. "We got quite off topic."

Patton laughed. "So we did. But we can continue to get off topic together as we walk the park's walking trail if you want. The trail start is only a few blocks away."

"Alright… have you ever heard about the story where Thor dressed as Freyja to get Mjölnir back?"

"Ooh, that sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't remember most of it. Wanna tell it to me?"

Logan felt himself get even more excited. "Yes, I'd like that."

The day had gone so much better than Logan had expected, more than he'd ever dared to hope. Not only did Patton not hate him, but they'd spent most of the afternoon talking. Their conversation had been a bit awkward at times —as Logan's conversations with people other than his mother often were, albeit usually more awkward than it had been with Patton; at least Patton and Logan had some things in common—, but Logan was quite pleased with how the day had gone.

Logan had rather expected to be going home in tears, rather than a small smile he'd found on his face.

After he got home, Logan heated some leftovers for supper and finished the last of his math homework, quite glad that there weren't any bottles from the prior night to clean up —just a beer can that was already in the recycling—, and that his mother hadn't been too hungover to go and work.

Feeling a bit unsure what to do until his mother got home from her evening job, he watched some TV, his conversations with Patton still in the back of his mind.

He especially couldn't stop thinking about when Patton had said that he hadn't known that Logan existed, how his mother had said, on multiple occasions, that his father had taken one look at Logan and left, that he didn't want him.

But Patton did want Logan —or at least thought he did at the moment, he easily might not after getting to know Logan and seeing how worthless he was— and he hadn't known of Logan's existence… and since Logan was quite certain that Patton was telling the truth, that could only mean one thing: his mother had lied.

It meant that his mother had been lying to him for a frighteningly long amount of time.

What felt like both too soon and not soon enough, Logan's mother came home, looking tired as always.

After she grabbed something small to eat, she laid down on the couch, Logan hovering near one of the couch's arms.

"...I saw him today," Logan finally said.

His mother looked up at him. "Saw who? …Your father?"

"Yes, I met him, his husband, Janus, and briefly two out of three of their children. Although the eldest, Virgil, was Janus' son, I assume from a previous relationship, who didn't seem to consider Patton his father."

"Huh, I see. Did it go well?"

"It went… a lot better than expected." Logan felt himself begin to get a little mad. "Especially considering the fact that Patton didn't know of my existence and was actually really nice."

His mother winced. "Oh."

More anger rose in Logan. "Yes. 'Oh'. I— Why didn't you tell Patton that I existed? And why did you tell me that he knew and just didn't want me!?"

"I… don't know."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Logan was aware that tears were streaming down his cheeks but he couldn't find it in him to wipe them away.

"Logan, sometimes people just… make mistakes. And sometimes they don't realise until it's too late to fix them, at least directly, so they just leave the mistake to fester and it just gets worse over time but they certainly don't want to deal with it now." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "It just got worse, and the longer I waited, the worse I knew it would make everyone feel. So, I just never said anything… not till I finally, finally just bit the bullet and found his address."

She finally stopped staring at the ceiling and looked over at Logan. "I fucked up. I know I did, and I know I should've done it a long time ago, but at least you have your dad now. I know it's my fault that you didn't for so, so long, but you do now. I'm… Logan, I'm really sick, and it took… it took almost dying to realise that I was just trying to keep you to myself, and that's really not fair to you. I'm… I'm so sorry I didn't let you two meet sooner, and it's okay if you don't forgive me for a while, or ever, but I'm trying to fix it now. I'm trying, Logan."

"I—" Logan scrubbed underneath his eyes. "I know, Mom. I know you're trying. It— it really hurt, it hurt not to have him, but you… you did the right thing, and now I do have him. Him and you. That's all I ever wanted…” He paused. "I don't think I can forgive you today… but soon. I just need some time."

Logan's mother smiled softly. "I know, and I understand."

"I'm… I'm glad to have you back, Mom. Yo— you weren't really there for quite a while."

"Yeah, I know, and I am so, so sorry. But I promise that I'm not going to drink again. Your… your dad found me on Facebook earlier while I was at work and we messaged each other, and God bless him, he's actually paying for me to go to therapy with his cousin, Dr. Picani. I'm…" She paused to dab at her eyes with her handkerchief. "I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get out of this depressive funk and I'm going to fucking stop this stupid alcoholism.

"It's not going to be easy, or linear, but I'm going to do it. I will."

"I know you will. If anyone could do it, it'd be you."

"Thank you for always having my back, little Lo. I don't know what I'd do without you. I— come here, baby." She raised her frail arms up and Logan quickly ducked between them, the both of them wrapping their arms around the other.

After a few moments they pulled away, Logan still kneeling beside his mother. "I… he invited me to come back soon."

"I know."

"I… I want to see him again. I'd like to get to know Patton and his family more."

"Okay, you know I support you either way, baby, so if you want to see him— all of them, then you should spend more time with them."

Logan wasn't sure what to say, so he just asked, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

His mother smiled. "Only if we pop some popcorn."

Logan sighed as he looked at Patton and Janus' white door. The parallel between now and the first time that he'd met Patton was making him hesitate, which was only making the moment feel even more familiar.

Logan startled slightly as Janus opened the door.

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Well, now isn't this déjà vu?" He rhetorically asked, the sarcastic tone that his voice usually took ever-present, despite the statement itself holding no actual sarcasm.

"Ah, apologies, I was just…"

"Gathering yourself for a moment?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… well, come in."

"Thank you." Logan went inside and Janus shut the door behind them.

"Logan's here, love," Janus called across the living room and Patton looked up from what he was fixing in the kitchen to across the kitchen bar.

"Hi! You made it!" Patton waved.

A golden retriever mutt came up to Logan, sniffed his pant leg, and began wagging their tail at him, so he patted the dog on the head a few times.

"I did." Logan remembered what his mother had said years ago about how people liked to have their house complimented. "Um, I like how your house's common area is an open plan. It's very… spacious."

"Aww, thanks, Logan. I really like that about our house too." His eyebrows furrowed a bit. "Where's your mom?"

"Ah, yes, she sends her regards and apologies for being absent, but she had to cover for a co-worker at work. It was rather sudden so we didn't have proper time to forewarn you."

"Oh, okay. Well, that's fine! That's too bad that she couldn't come, but I'm glad you're here anyway."

Patton was very generous with his compliments, Logan noted, a bit unsure as to why Patton's praise made him feel so happy. Well, Logan had been idolizing him since he was young, so perhaps it was a bit more obvious than he'd originally thought. He'd been wishing for a father figure since he was little after all.

"And I am glad to be here."

"If you'll excuse me for a moment," Janus said, "I'll go let everyone know you're here."

Janus went upstairs and since Logan wasn't sure what to do, he petted the dog some more.

"Oh! That's Biscuit, by the way!"

"Ah, they're a very good dog."

"Isn't she!"

Janus came down the stairs only a minute later, the twins in tow.

"Oh! It's the Boy Scout!" The twin dressed in a prince costume exclaimed.

"No! He's a zombie," The other twin —his name was Remus, if Logan recalled correctly— tried to correct, pointing his finger at Logan, the black and green sparkly cuff bouncing as he did so.

Janus clicked his tongue. "Remus, what did I tell you about pointing at people?"

Remus sighed deeply. "Not to because it's rude."

"And what do you say, dear?"

"Sorry, Logan."

"It's alright."

"Oh, also maybe don't call people zombies," Janus added.

Logan couldn't help but think what an odd family they were.

"...Are you a zombie?" Remus asked.

"No, I'm not a zombie, or a Boy Scout for that matter."

"Aww," The little prince whined. "Then who are you?"

"Logan."

He snorted. "Okay, smart—"

"Ass!" Remus finished.

"Boys," Patton scolded. "Roman, don't let Remus take the fall for your curse word, and Remus, we don't curse in this house!"

"You said 'fuck' just yesterday, Papa. You know, when you accidentally spilled milk everywhere?"

Patton sighed. "Okay yes, I did. But I shouldn't've said that."

"Also you're an adult, which means that if you wanted to curse, you could," Janus added.

"Yeah," Remus agreed. "Like Virgil, although he's not an adult… wait, why is Virgil allowed to cuss and we're not? We're only like… nine years younger."

"Well, my age minimum for children cursing is lower than your Papa's, so we compromised, and if you don't swear loudly in public, you can curse when you turn fifteen."

"Aww, but that's so far away!"

"Yes, it is."

"Oh, speaking of Virgil, where is he?" Patton asked.

"Still upstairs. He said that he'd be down in a minute."

"Oh, okay!"

"...So who are you really?" Roman asked.

"And don't say 'Logan' again!" Remus added.

"...Logan Sanders-Miller."

"Aww. You did it again."

Janus sighed. "Don't you remember when I told you last night that Patton had a son who was coming over for dinner today?"

The twins shook their heads.

"Did you tell them while they were watching TV?" Patton asked.

"Yes— oh, I see what happened. I always forget that they won't hear me if the TV's on."

"Are you really Papa's son?" Remus asked Logan.

"Um, yes, I am his biological son."

Roman ran into the kitchen where Patton was still cooking. "Papa?"

"Yeah, Ro?"

"Why'd you hide Logan from us?"

"Oh, sweetie, I didn't hide Logan from y'all! His mother had never told me that he'd been born so I had no idea he existed."

"Oh, that's sad… so kinda like how you and Dad didn't know that me and Remus existed until you found us at the adoption place? Well, except that Logan's your bioluh… biological son and me and Remus aren't."

"Yeah, that's exactly right!"

"Remus and I," Janus corrected. "I am trying to teach our sons some semblance of proper grammar after all."

…

Supper went fairly well, it was a bit awkward at times and Logan had a strong feeling that Virgil didn't like him, but the twins' lively conversation soon easily broke up any awkwardness.

"I can help clean up," Logan offered after they'd finished eating.

"Aw, that's okay! I've got it. Besides, you're our guest!"

"Oh, alright…"

"Um, but if you want, you could go watch the twins in the living room. They'll probably get out some toys which is fine, just make sure they don't physically hurt each other. Oh, but if that's too much pressure, I can come watch them, I'm just helping Janus clean up right now."

"That's alright, I can watch them." Logan walked deeper into the living room and around the couch, noticing Virgil scowling at him from the dining table as he went.

Seriously, why did Virgil dislike him so much?

"Logan!" Remus exclaimed as he knocked his plastic dinosaur into Roman's.

"Come play with us!" Roman whacked his pteranodon into Remus' triceratops, which fell out of Remus' hand, causing Roman to cheer.

"Aw, man!" Remus pouted. "Now how am I supposed to defeat the dino rebels!"

Logan sat down on the floor next to the twins. "Hmm, perhaps the Ankylosaurus could help?"

"Oh, yeah! But I'm dead, so you'll have to play him, okay?"

"Alright, I can do that."

"Oh no!" Roman cried dramatically. "Another leader of the Dinosaur Imperial Magistrate —DIM for short— has arisen!"

Logan played with the twins, using the plastic dinosaurs to fight for a minute or two when Virgil came into the living room and sat on the couch, gesturing for Logan to come sit next to him.

After Logan excused himself from the battle, Remus and Roman continuing on in his absence, he got up and perched himself on the edge of the couch.

"Yes?"

"You don't have to play with them, you know,"

"Oh, I know, but I actually enjoy playing with people younger than me."

"I just— I can take care of them by myself." Virgil huffed. "I know that Patton doesn't think that, but I can! I can be responsible!"

"Alright. I've never said otherwise—"

"You can't just come in here and suddenly be a part of this family."

"O… kay? I didn't—"

"I don't know what you think you're doing, just waltzing in here like you've always been here but you haven't! You can't just uproot our family because suddenly you want a dad."

"I understand that I haven't always been here but I really am not trying to uproot anything. I'm not trying to tear your family apart, I just want to earn my place in it."

"And what makes you think you will?!" Virgil exclaimed, his voice dangerously low, but still quiet so as not to let the twins playing on the other side of the living room or the adults in the kitchen overhear.

"I… I don't know," Logan admitted. "When I first met Patton, I didn't even originally come to try and join the family he'd built for himself. I just wanted to know why he hadn't wanted me as a baby, only to find out that my mother had lied and he had no idea I existed. I'm only here trying to earn a place in Patton's life because he's invited me into it."

"I—" Virgil's breaths were shorter than they should have been. "W— well stop trying! Who said you deserve to try! You shouldn't expect so much so soon!" Virgil's voice was steadily rising, so much so that the twins looked up from where they were playing.

"Are you okay, Virgie?" Roman asked.

"Yeah, you seem mad," Remus agreed.

"Everything's fine," Virgil gritted out, "I'm just talking to Logan."

"Okay, just remember Papa's saying: 'you say things bad when you're mad' !"

"Whatever, just go play."

The twins both frowned.

"Um, okay," Remus said, worry still evident in his tone. He looked at Virgil for a moment longer before he hesitantly went back to what seemed to be an odd game that involved both chess and checker pieces.

Logan took a deep breath. Virgil's words struck a little too close to home. "I apologize if it seems like I've been trying to barge in where I do not belong, but if I could ju—"

"Just stop it already. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"I— alright."

"I just…" Virgil took some more heavy breaths. "I just don't understand how you can come in here and act like you belong and like everyone's totally chill with that! Patton just met you the other day, there's no way that he could like you already! He's just being polite! And you're too naïve to fuckin' see that.

"No one even wants you here!" Virgil stopped, looking quite surprised at his outburst… at least he did until Logan's vision blurred with unshed tears. Logan couldn't see Virgil's face well enough to tell after that.

Logan stood up. "Well then, I apologize for overstaying my welcome. I can see that I'm not wanted so… so I'll be going then. Goodbye."

"Wait, I didn't mean t—"

"Didn't you though?" Logan snapped as he made his way around the couch and to the front door.

Patton came out of the kitchen, Janus right behind him, and asked, "Oh, Logan, are you leaving so soon?"

Logan opened the door.

"Wait, Logan—"

Logan shut the door behind himself with a bit more force than necessary, just able to hear Virgil faintly say, "Shit, I think I made him cry."

Tears streamed down Logan's face the entire walk home.

Logan had never been one to outwardly display his emotions, but he also tried not to just push them down. Which was why he'd felt so utterly embarrassed when he couldn't stop crying the day prior.

It was one thing for Logan to cry in the privacy of his own room, and another thing entirely to cry in front of Patton and his family. Sure, someone might've seen him cry as he was walking home, but that was nothing in comparison to how shameful he felt that Patton had to have seen him like that.

So much for trying to prove that he was good enough. He'd certainly messed that up beyond repair as there was no way that Patton would want him now.

Logan sighed, and forcing himself to get out of bed, he walked to the living room.

Logan's mother looked up from the TV and frowned, using the remote to turn it off.

"Hey, baby. What's wrong? Did something happen last night?"

"...I made a complete fool of myself."

She frowned. "Hmm, well come here. Let's talk it out."

Logan sat next to her. "Okay."

"So? What happened?"

"Well, Virgil said that no one wanted me there, among other things, and I kind of panicked, so I left… but everyone saw that I was crying before I could leave. It… Newton, I was so embarrassed. Still am, actually."

"Oh, honey! I'm so sorry."

Logan sniffed. "He was right though. I did kind of just barge in there and act like I was entitled to Patton and his family."

"Really?" His mother asked skeptically. "Because that doesn't sound like you at all."

"I— well… Virgil informed me that Patton didn't actually want me there, that he was just being polite and I was too naïve to see that," Logan spat as tears began to well up in his eyes.

"Hmm, okay. I don't know what Virgil's problem is, but I just really don't think any of that's true. I've been messaging your dad a bit ever since you met him. He seemed nothing but excited that you were in his life… well, and guilty for not being there for you sooner, but I've already told him that it's not his fault. I was the one to keep it from him after all…

"Anyway, point is, your dad absolutely wants you there. I think you'd know if he was just being nice. If there's two things I remember about him from college, it's how kind he was and how his passive aggression was not super veiled. I really do think that he cares about you, and while I don't know why Virgil said all those things, I think you should talk to the both them about it. Maybe it's not as bad as you think."

A few tears rolled down Logan's cheeks. "...Are you sure?"

His mother patted his shoulder. "Quite sure."

"Okay… when do you think I sh—"

There were a few light knocks on the front door, making Logan startle as he quickly tried to wipe away the few fallen tears.

Logan's mother got up and answered the door. "Hello, what can I do for you two?"

Logan couldn't hear what the other people had said, but his mother quickly ushered Patton and Virgil in with a, "Please, come in. I'm sure there's much to talk about."

Logan was just about to stand up and hide in his room when Patton said, "Wait, Logan. This'll only take a minute, but there's something that Virgil wanted to say."

Logan hesitated and almost left anyway, but Virgil seemed so genuinely worried that Logan stayed.

"Alright. Just for a minute."

"Okay…" Virgil nodded, still looking extremely nervous but almost a bit relieved. He stood in front of the couch, still keeping some distance so as to not crowd Logan.

Patton and Logan's mother went into the kitchen, most likely to make some tea, and Patton gave Logan a brief reassuring smile.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for snapping at you yesterday," Virgil began. "I didn't mean anything I said, especially that no one wanted you there… you don't have to earn your place in this family by the way. This doesn't make it right, but I was jealous because I thought that Patton liked you more than me. But that's not true, he doesn't play favourites like that."

"...Oh. I see."

"I'm afraid that I was kinda projecting my feelings of inadequacy onto you, like, everything I said to you was what I was feeling towards Pat. Um, but he and I had an entire conversation about it and I'm doing a lot better now, but still, I'm really sorry you had to get caught up in all that shit. In all of my shit."

"I… did not enjoy it, that's for sure, but as long as you learn from your mistake and try your best not to do it again…"

"I promise. From now on if I have a problem with someone, I'll talk to them about it instead of snapping at someone else."

"Good. In that case, I forgive you."

Virgil's shoulders slumped in relief. "Okay, thanks, Logan."

"You're welcome, Virgil. And thank you for apologising."

"No problem, it's the least I could do after I was so mean to you." Virgil shifted on his feet. There was a pause before he asked, "Hey, wanna go see what our parents are talking about in the kitchen?"

"Sure."

Logan's mother laughed at something Patton had said as Logan and Virgil walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey, kids. You get everything sorted out?" Patton asked, a bit pointedly at Virgil.

"Yeah, I apologized and he forgave me."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Um, hey… Pops?" Virgil seemed a bit hesitant with the nickname, and Logan deduced that he must have just started using the fatherly nickname after his emotional conversation with Patton.

Patton seemed to be holding back a beaming smile as he answered, "Yes, Virge?"

"Can we take Logan and his mom out to get burgers for lunch?"

"Oh, that's a great idea! Er, if they're not busy, that is."

Logan's mother hummed. "Well, I don't have work until three, and it's a Saturday, so it's not like Logan has school."

"Great! Do y'all like Sonic?"

Logan felt himself get excited. "Sonic's burgers are superior, especially when you consider the facts that you can get tater tots with it and that they have cherry limeades, as well as root beer. Which are my two favourite drink options."

"You're absolutely right," Virgil agreed. "They really are superior."

"Did you know that the first location opened near Shawnee, Oklahoma and was originally called the Top Hat Drive-In? In 1959 when Troy Smith and his business partner, Charlie Pappe looked into getting it copyrighted, but they discovered that it already was copyrighted. So they named the franchise Sonic, with the slogan 'Service With the Speed of Sound' ."

"Oh, yeah," Virgil agreed. "I think I read an article about that. They named it Sonic because the jets at Tinker Air Force Base in Oklahoma city were breaking the sound barrier, right?"

"Yes, that's correct." Logan couldn't help but give Virgil a small smile, who returned it easily.

Logan had never met someone who liked Sonic anywhere near as much as him, and looked forward to sharing more facts with Virgil.

In the end, Logan had never had so much fun doing something so normal as getting hamburgers. Although he was beginning to suspect that nothing was normal around the Sanders' family… and he was right.

Logan loved the science fair, it was one of his favourite things about school, and even if his mother usually had to work a lot, she always made time for Logan's science fair, and this year was no different.

…At least in that aspect, it was no different, it was, however, definitely different in another way, namely, Patton and his whole family came.

Janus and Virgil were each holding the hand of one of the twins who were trying to pull every which way to see everything, bringing up the rear was someone that Logan didn't know, but looked rather like Patton —a brother or cousin, maybe?— in a floral print shirt, and leading the whole procession was Patton, a large tote bag on one shoulder, and a big water bottle in his other hand.

Patton waved, the tote bag almost slipping, but he managed to catch it just in time, laughing at himself a bit. "Hey, Logan! I brought snacks!"

"...To a science fair?"

"Yeah! I thought we might get hungry after."

"Ah, that's true. I hadn't thought of that. Good idea."

"Thank you!" Patton beamed. "Oh! This is my brother, Thomas." Patton gestured with his lips at the person Logan didn't recognize.

"What's up?" Thomas greeted.

"I'm at the science fair."

Thomas snorted. "That's fair."

Logan squinted suspiciously. "Was that a pun?"

"Sure was!"

"...I can certainly see the relation."

Thomas and Patton laughed.

Janus turned to Logan from where he'd been talking to his children. "Ah, before I forget, good luck with your presentation."

"Thank you, Janus."

"You're going to do awesome!" Roman assured.

"Or fall flat on your face," Remus gleefully added.

Logan pursed his lips. "Well, I certainly hope I don't fall on my face."

"Nah," Virgil said. "You won't… probably."

"Confident as ever," Janus teased sarcastically. "Well, we should probably go take our seats, but we wanted to wish you luck first."

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

Janus took the bag and water bottle from Patton.

"It was nice meeting you," Thomas said.

"Nice to meet you as well."

"Break a leg!" Remus said sweetly as they walked towards the seats, and somehow, Logan knew that he only half meant it in the 'perform well' way.

"So, where's your mom?" Patton asked.

"Here! I'm here." Logan's mother smiled nervously as she tried to catch her breath. "Patton, it's, um…"

"Good to see you again, Cindy."

Her shoulders sagged slightly in relief. "Yes. It is."

Patton was about to say something in reply but a woman with a dyed blonde bob haircut walked up to them, an overly fake smile on her face. "Hi! I'm Sheryl."

"Hi, Sheryl, I'm Patton!" Patton shook her hand. "And this is my son, Logan, and his mom, Cindy."

"Aww, don't you two make a cute couple."

Logan sighed a little louder than he meant to.

Patton's smile quickly turned awkward as he explained, "Oh, we're not a couple anymore, but my husband and our other children are here."

"Oh." Sheryl just awkwardly walked off and spotted someone she knew. "Susan! How's the kids?"

Logan mentally groaned. "Apologies. That entire interaction was my fault."

"What?" Patton asked. "Nonsense!"

"You wouldn't even be here if I didn't have a science fair, or had met you… or even existed."

"Oh, hey, no. Logan, that wasn't your fault. And I'm really glad you exist, especially because I got to meet you. She was just being a bit of a jerk—

"Fuckin' asshole," Logan's mother interjected bitterly.

"But it's nothing I couldn't handle, and absolutely not your fault."

"...Okay."

"Okay."

"If she says anything else, let me know." Logan's mother pursed her lips. "I'm on the board, and I can assure you that we don't take too kindly to homophobia. Veiled or not."

"Thanks, I appreciate that. I'll certainly let you know."

Logan's mother checked her watch before she looked between Patton and Logan and nodded to herself. "Well, I'm gonna sit down. It starts in ten minutes but you two should have time."

"Should have time for what?" Patton asked.

"Logan wants to ask you something." She smiled knowingly and walked away.

Logan sighed.

His mother was a bit too perceptive at times.

"What was it you wanted to ask me about?"

"Oh… well, I was just wondering why… why you introduced me as your son. I mean, obviously I'm your biological son but…"

"Oh! I introduced you as my son because you are my son. Ah, but if that makes you uncomforta—"

"No! Er, no. I'm not uncomfortable. I just… am not clear what yo—" Logan cringed at himself. "Nevermind."

"No! Go ahead. What is it?"

"I… I'm not really sure how to explain."

"Oh, hmm, that's tough… maybe I can guess? I kinda think I know where this is going. Oh, but I can totally just give you time if you wanna think it out for yourself."

"No, that's… I'd— I mean, it would probably be easiest if you just said what you thought I'm trying to say."

"Okay. So, what I think you're maybe wondering is what… oh wow, this is hard. Okay, you're my biological son, but you're also just… my son, okay?"

"Oh, I— okay."

"Is that okay?"

"Definitely. I… yes."

"Okay. And um, well, you definitely don't have to… but I'm okay with you know, fatherly nicknames, but again, only if you want! Not trying to rush anything of course, or make you feel like you have to ever even. So… um, so yeah."

Tears began to prick at the corner of Logan's eyes.

He really hadn't expected this to happen when he'd woken up today. He'd of course known that Patton was kind and caring, but to know that he already thought of Logan as his son… that it was okay for Logan to call him father… it was all too much, albeit in a good way.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry! You don't have to—"

"No, no. It's alright. These, uh, these are happy tears… Father." Despite Patton having just said it was okay, Logan still warily looked at him to see his reaction.

Patton broke out in a big grin. "Awww! Oh my goodness, abjfshdjsjsjdh!"

"Wh— what?"

"Aah, sorry. I'm just, shvshshsh."

"...Are you having a stroke? The signs are—"

"No, it's okay. I'm not having a stroke. Just so happy I'm at a loss for words!"

"Oh, I see."

"...Can I hug you?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Patton wrapped his arms around Logan. "Thank you for being my son."

Logan buried his face into Patton's shoulder before mumbling, "And thank you for being my father."

Logan was almost late for his presentation due to his happy tears, but he found that it was very, very worth it.

Logan hadn't quite been sure what to think when Patton invited him to come along with the other Sanders to the beach. For one, he hated swimming, but also, if there was anything Logan hated more than swimming, it was sand. And that was without even mentioning the ride home in wet swim clothes.

So no, Logan wasn't looking forward to going... but Patton had invited him, and he did enjoy the Sanders' company.

When Patton's sky-blue minivan pulled up, Logan got up from the window seat, grabbed his bag, and, after locking the apartment door behind himself, walked down the stairs and to the van.

Patton rolled down the passenger window and leaned around Janus to say, "Hey, Logan! You got everything you need?"

"Yes, I have sunscreen, a pair of clothes, goggles, a towel, and the key to get back into my apartment."

"Great! Hop in!" Patton pressed a button and the side door slid open.

…

The drive there mostly consisted of the twins asking 'are we there yet' just to annoy everyone; bickering with each other; Virgil, Logan, and Janus trying to stop them from said bickering; and Patton jamming out to oldies as he drove.

Due to the twins' bickering and the fact that Logan had never been out this way to the ocean before, the drive felt longer than it actually was, but soon enough they were all unloading from the van and heading down to the beach.

It was a rather warm June day, and the sun sparkled across the water brightly as it was unhindered by any clouds.

Logan could feel the apprehension building in himself the closer they got to the water, but took a deep breath to try and get it to settle. Patton wanted him to go swimming, so swimming he would go.

After setting up their stuff and putting on sunscreen, they all got in the water. Remus and Roman instantly began racing, Virgil acting as the referee, while Patton and Janus got in the water at a more sedate pace, already wading in up to their knees.

Logan was still standing quite firmly in the sand.

Patton turned around to look at Logan and furrowed his eyebrows. "Logan? What's wrong?"

"I just… am not particularly fond of swimming, that's all." Logan hesitantly walked to where the water lapped at his ankles, feeling a bit silly as Patton was already in to his waist.

"Aww, I'm sorry. We would've picked a different activity if we'd known that."

"No, that's alright. If I really don't want to swim, I can sit in a beach chair."

"Still. We wanna do stuff that you'll like too. How about next time you can pick where we go?"

"Really?"

"Sure! Just name the place and we'll go soon."

"Hm… how about the planetarium?"

"Sounds great!"

Logan nodded and mentally braced himself as he walked farther into the water. It wasn't quite as cold as he'd thought, but was still pleasantly cool in the heat of the day.

Logan paused with a small frown once he'd gotten in past his bellybutton and sniffed the air. Since this was the ocean and not a pool, there was no chlorine to bother Logan. He got in to his shoulders and pushed his feet off the sand, swimming in place to stay afloat, finally level with Patton instead of trailing behind.

"This isn't as bad as I'd thought."

"Awe, I'm glad! I personally love swimming."

"Mm, I'd… well, not forgotten that there wasn't any chlorine, of course, but it's not that bad. And sure, it smells a bit like salt, but considering it's the ocean, that makes sense." The water began to lap at Logan's chin. "I really had expected it to be so much wors—" The water brushed past his lips and he wrinkled his nose as he spat out the few drops of water that'd made it into his mouth. "Eurgh! Why does it taste so salty?!"

Patton laughed gently. "You knew the ocean was salty, Lo!"

"Well, of course I did, Father, but I didn't know it was going to be this salty! Ugh, it's horrendous."

Patton giggled. "Aww, sorry, kiddo."

…

The saltwater had tasted terrible, but all in all, swimming had gone much better than Logan had expected. The lack of chlorine had really made a big difference.

After they had gotten out of the water for lunch, almost everyone made sand castles while Janus and Logan sat on a blanket under the shade of a big umbrella.

"So, how are you enjoying the family so far?" Janus asked, startling a small laugh out of Logan.

"What?"

"Well, it's been a few months. Surely you have formed some sort of opinion by now."

"Oh, I have. I just wasn't expecting the question." Logan paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "I really like it here… not the beach— well, it is nice here, but what I meant was that I really like being with everyone."

"Good, I'm glad. Everyone likes that you're here too."

"...Everyone?"

Janus smiled like he was in on a joke. Perhaps he was. "Everyone."

"...I'm not intruding?"

"Not at all. I daresay that there would be many protests if you tried to cut us off. Patton is quite the protective papa bear. Actually, if you want to be specific, I believe there'd be five protests. Six if you count your mother."

"Oh… six?"

"Yes, six. Did you really think I'm completely apathetic towards you?"

"Well, I didn't know, and… well, I didn't want to assume."

Janus hummed. "Now you don't have to."

"True." Logan paused, a bit of anxiety building in his gut as he tried to think of how to word what he wanted to say. "Thank you for letting me into your family," Logan rushed out. "You didn't have to do that, but you did anyway, and I— I really appreciate it."

"I'm… not even quite sure what to say to that. I don't feel as though it was letting you as in 'I gave you permission', but more like you just naturally became a part of our family."

Logan hummed. "I see. Well, regardless, I'm still grateful for all of you."

"And us you," Janus said, voice full of sincerity.

They sat there in peaceful silence for several minutes until Patton came up.

"Janus! The kids say it's your turn to play with them."

Janus sighed faux-dramatically. "Well, if they insist…" He got up and went to where the others were throwing sand around.

"Hi!" Patton exclaimed as he sat down next to Logan.

"Hello, Father. How was the sand?"

"Sandy dandy!"

Logan exhaled through his nose, if only to keep himself from laughing. "That's… a very you response."

Patton laughed. "You betcha!" He looked out at the ocean for a few moments before saying, "Hey, Logan?"

"Yes?"

Patton looked back at Logan. "I'm glad you came to find me a few months ago."

"Mm, me too."

"I… I know I said this at your science fair last month, but you're family." Patton laughed a little. "I mean, of course you're family, but I just… I wanted to say it again. And that… that I really care about you, Logan."

"I really care about you too… Papa?" Logan hadn't meant it to sound like a question but he was a little unsure if Patton would think it was okay so it did anyway.

"Awwwww, c'mere!"

Patton scooted closer, Logan copying him, and Patton put an arm around Logan's shoulders, who immediately rested his head on Patton's shoulder.

"Love you… Lo-son."

"...Was that a pun in front of my emotional conversation?"

Patton laughed again, much louder this time. "I can tell you've been hanging out with Virgil a lot."

Logan smiled. "Maybe a bit."

"Hey!" Remus exclaimed from a bit farther down the beach. "Come look at what we made!"

Patton and Logan exchanged glances as Logan sat up properly again before they got up and went to where the twins and Virgil were gathered.

"Where's Jan—" Logan cut himself off with a startled laugh as he could only see Janus' head, his body under the sand which had been shaped to look like a snake.

"See!" Roman beamed. "He's a sea snake."

"You good under there, dear?" Patton asked amusedly, obviously trying not to giggle.

Janus pouted a bit, but still said, "Yes, I'm fine, just covered in sand."

"I like the details in the scales! Very fancy."

"Yeah," Virgil agreed. "Re and Ro did most of them."

Logan tilted his head to the side. "What species were you modeling this after?"

Roman thought about it for a moment. "Uh… sea snake?"

Virgil snorted. "We didn't have one in mind. Just used our imagination."

"Ah, I see."

"Come build sandcastles with us, Logan!" Roman exclaimed more than asked as he smiled up at Logan.

Logan couldn't help but smile back. "Alright. What time period and place were you thinking of?"

"Ooh," Remus cut in, "Which ones have the most gore?"

"Well…"

Everything was so very different from only a few months prior, but it'd only changed for the better.

Logan had always had his mother, but his family grew bigger than he'd ever thought possible.

Home really wasn't about the house, but rather about the people; and between Logan's mother, Patton, Janus, Virgil, Remus, and Roman, Logan had an abundance of home.

And there truly was no place like home.

~The End~

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