#established moceit
Text
My Name Is Logan Sanders-Miller
AO3 link
Summary: Pictures and the occasional story from his mother. That's all Logan had ever had of his father. Just one little photo album, and painful memories confessed to him in the dark, it wasn't much, but it meant everything to him.
His father hadn't wanted Logan. His mother had said that he took one look at Logan and left. Had there really been something so off putting about him that one glance was all it took to drive his father away?
Logan hadn't even done anything. All it took to make his father leave was just him existing apparently.
So, why the hell was he standing outside Sanders' house? Was he seriously going to ask his father why he didn't want Logan? Was he trying to prove himself to Patton, that he really was good enough and that Patton had missed out? Or maybe prove to himself that his father was shitty and that's why he didn't want Logan…
In any matter, Logan wasn't going to turn back now. This was it.
Knock knock
Warnings: cursing, past alcoholism, like five f-words (probably a new record for the minimum in my fics /j)
Universe: a human au
Perspective/main character: Logan
Side/secondary characters: Patton, Janus
Appear: Remus, Roman, Virgil, female oc (Logan's mother), Thomas
Mentioned: Emile Picani
Romantic relationship: established Moceit
Platonic relationships: Logan & everyone
Word Count: 9,277
Link to my collection of TSS fanworks
This is for the @sandersidesbigbang's event
Find the adorable artwork by @badkatart here and the really cute art by @thecrowslullaby here!
Thanks @aplacesofaraway for beta reading!
-
Logan knew he didn't want him, he'd known since he was a little child when he'd asked his mother why he didn't have a father like most of the other children. Logan had been devastated to find out that his father hadn't wanted him, but the question of why… that had haunted him.
Why didn't he want Logan? His mother had said that he took one look at Logan and left. Had there really been something so off putting about him that one glance was all it took to drive his father away?
Had it been Logan's blue eyes? Doubtful since he'd gotten those from his father. Was it his dark hair? It's true that neither of his parents had hair as dark as his, instead, he got his dark locks from his maternal grandmother, but surely it couldn't have been because of such a superficial reason as that.
Logan hadn't even done anything. All it took to make his father leave was just him existing, apparently.
But why? What were his exact thoughts when he left?
There was only one way Logan would be able to know, and that was to ask his father himself.
Logan sighed, mentally shaking himself as he looked up to the house he was now standing in front of.
It was a rather nice house, Logan couldn't help but think, with its blue panel siding and white trim. It was on the large side, had two stories, and yellow shutters. The multicoloured flowers were well tended to and the spacious yard was surrounded by a white picket fence. It looked like the perfect family home.
Logan took a deep breath and opened the wide gate. Closing it behind himself, he walked up the path to the white door.
He clutched the small photo album closer to his chest with his left hand and, curling his right, he raised his fist to knock. It just floated above the wood. He took another deep breath but still hesitated.
Was this it?
Logan quickly knocked twice before he could figuratively get cold feet.
Was he actually about to meet his—
The door swung open before Logan could finish the thought. A man dressed in mostly black, and a bit overdressed for a gentle spring day such as this one with his bowler hat, yellow gloves, and caplet, answered the door.
"Yes?"
Logan opened his mouth to answer but shut it again when no sound came out.
The tall man stared at Logan expectedly, dark brown and light brown —almost yellow— eyes seeming to look into Logan's very core. Which was ridiculous, that wasn't even scientifically possible.
The man looked at Logan for another moment before raising an eyebrow.
"Well? You've been staring at my house for a few minutes now. Can I help you with something, child?"
Logan blinked a few times before his brain finally caught up. "Ah, yes, actually, I believe you can." He pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "I'm looking for… Patton Sanders?"
The man's eyebrow only raised farther at that. "And may I ask why you are looking for him?"
Logan was now hugging the album with both arms. "Ah, so you do know him, which means I have the correct address. Excellent. And yes, you may ask that."
The man continued to stare at Logan —was this going to be a recurring thing?— before sighing softly. "Why are you looking for Patton?"
"Well… I have some… information I would like to—"
Another man, whose face Logan had all but memorized from the album, appeared behind the first man's shoulder.
"Who's at the door, honey?" Patton asked the first man.
"I don't know, the kid's looking for you though."
Patton turned to Logan. "Oh, hello! Can I help you with something, kiddo?"
"Um…" Logan cleared his throat. "I hope so. I have some informa—"
"Papa!" A boy about seven ran up to Patton before announcing, "Remus bit me!"
The first man sighed. "I'll take care of it," He said to Patton before calling into the house, "Remus? Why'd you bite your brother?" He led the boy back into the house where Logan could hear Remus arguing farther into the house.
"Sorry about that. Now, what were you saying, kiddo?"
"Well, my mother is Cindy M—"
A teenager came up behind Patton, his purple hair almost completely covering his eyes. "Yo, Pat, why's the Wi-fi not working?" He tapped something on his phone and frowned.
Patton sent an apologetic look to Logan as he told the teen, "I don't know. Ask your dad, sweetie."
"Okay." He looked up from his phone. "Oh, shit, did I interrupt? Sorry."
"Virgil, lang—"
The teen, Virgil, raised an eyebrow and Logan could really see the resemblance between him and the first man who'd answered the door.
Patton sighed. "I know, I know. I— you're alright, maybe see if your dad needs help with the twins though?"
Virgil glanced at Logan again before nodding. "Yeah, alright. I can ask him about the Wi-fi after we get the twins to stop fighting then." He gave a two-fingered salute before disappearing back into the house.
"I'm so sorry about that, but that's everyone so hopefully we won't get interrupted again. What was that about your mom?"
He didn't belong here. There was no way Logan belonged here with this warm, emotional family. They were obviously tight-knit and it's not like Logan was particularly special or useful. And what did he even expect to find? For this man, his… his… for Patton to welcome Logan with open arms?
If he didn't want Logan as a baby, then why would he ever want him now? Especially after seeing how boring, awkward, and socially inept he was.
What a fool Logan had been.
"Uh… kiddo? Are you selling something? ...You don't have to be nervous. Just tell me your spiel… Do kids these days even know what a spiel is?"
Logan went to take a breath but realised he couldn't, which only made it harder to breathe as he panicked.
"Woah, it's alright! Just take a deep breath. You're okay, just take your time."
Logan did his best to do what Patton instructed, even if only to not waste any more of his time.
"Apologies for the inconvenience, I shall be on my— um, my way now."
"You don't have to leave! You haven't even told me your name or why you were looking for me."
"Er, well… my name is Logan."
"Aww, Logan, what a nice name. That's what I would've named a kid if I'd have gotten to name one."
"I— wait, really?"
"Yes, really!" Patton smiled softly. "So, what was that about your mom… I think you said her name was Cin…dy. Um, s— Cindy who?"
"Cindy Ann Miller."
"Oh… and your name is…"
"Logan Sanders-Miller."
"Oh. Oh, geez."
Logan took a few steps back as Patton stepped out onto the porch. Patton shut the door behind himself and sat down on a white bench.
"So you're… Cindy's your mom?"
"She is my biological mother, yes."
"Wow, I— I almost can't believe she even remembered what my favourite baby name was. It's been… wait, how old are you?"
"Twelve, sir."
"You don't need to call me sir. I mean, you're my… my…” He paused. "Why now though? Why didn't she just— why now?"
Logan blinked in surprise. "Did she not tell you of my existence?"
"No, she didn't. I— I would've been in your life if she had. I promise, Logan."
"Oh, I didn't know that she never… she'd said that you… that you didn't want me."
Tears welled up in Patton's eyes, making guilt stab at Logan's chest.
"That couldn't be further from the truth, Logan. It's true that I most likely wasn't ready for parenthood at that time, but I would've learned. I would've learned from, but also for you. I would've been there for you."
"I… I see. That's…"
Patton wiped his eyes and Logan was once again reminded of how out-of-place he was.
"Should I go?"
Patton looked up in surprise. "What? I— no! I mean, if you have anywhere you need to be, then of course. But…" Patton let out a weird laugh. "Sorry, I'm sure I look a mess right now. It's just… a lot to process. Um… oh, does Cindy know you're here?"
"Yes, she found and gave me your address."
"Okay… yeah, okay. That's good." Patton wiped away the last few tears. "Well, that wasn't a very polite welcome on my part!" Patton attempted to joke. He didn't succeed.
"It was adequate in my opinion. You have been far kinder than necessary and asked why I —seemingly randomly— showed up on your doorstep. You could have told me to leave at any point but you didn't, instead, you listened to everything I had to say."
"Aw, thanks, Logan, but that's really the least I could do. I've… geez, I've missed so much. I really do want to be there for you though, I want to get to know you. As long as that's alright with you and your mom of course."
"I… I believe so. She did give me your address and said I could visit if I wanted to."
"I'm not really sure how to put this, but… do you still want to?" Patton looked at Logan with hesitation and… hope?
"Yes, I still want to."
The reaction was immediate, Patton's face figuratively lighting up. "That's great. I… I really am gonna try, Logan. I promise."
"...You want to try?"
"Yes, I do."
"Oh… well… then I shall try as well."
Patton smiled gently at Logan. "Alright. Sounds good— better than good, in fact!"
"Better than good," Logan echoed.
"Hey, it's a Saturday so I know you won't have school, would you like to come inside and meet everyone?"
"Oh…"
"You don't have to, of course! I don't wanna overwhelm you after all. Just giving you the option."
"Ah, well, if it's alright, perhaps some other time? …If there is another time."
"That's just fine! And of course there'll be another ti— I mean, if you want there to be another time. Sorry, I guess I didn't even consider that you might not… I mean, I completely understand if you resent me and decide at any point that you'd rather not see me anymore."
"Oh, that's… when I said 'if there is another time', I meant if you still wanted to meet again after today."
"Oh, I do as long as you do! Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, technically I can think of a few reasons, but mostly I just didn't want to assume. Not everyone wants a random child in their life."
"Yeah, I suppose, but that's not me." Patton huffed lightly. "If anything I love random children in my life, you're the fourth one so far! My husband, Janus, had a son long before we met, and we both adopted the twins a few years ago."
"Ah, I see. What's one more, then?"
"Exactly! …That didn't quite sound right. I'd still want you in my life even if I didn't have Virgil and my sons. I was just trying to say that I'm not new to children rather suddenly appearing."
"Oh…" Logan's chest twisted with some emotion that he couldn't quite place.
"And besides," Patton continued, "You're not just a random child, you're my random child!"
"But that doesn't— wait, was that a Kung Fu Panda reference?"
Logan couldn't help but feel amazed at how quickly Patton had accepted him. Sure, it might not last long if Logan messed it up —as he did with most things—, but still, Patton hadn't even known Logan for thirty minutes, and was already calling Logan his child.
"Sure was! The twins really like that movie so I know quite a lot of the dialogue."
"Ah, I see."
There was a small lull in the conversation before Patton changed the subject with, "So… would you want to go to the park?"
"...I'm twelve."
"Uh, okay… I don't see what— Oh, I didn't mean on the playground necessarily! There's a nice walking trail, plenty of benches, and even an ice cream stand."
"Mm, that sounds pleasant… I'm allergic to dairy though."
"Oh, sorry, kiddo. 'Fraid you get that from me."
Logan stared at Patton incredulously. "You were going to take me to an ice cream stand, despite being allergic to dairy yourself?"
"...Yes. I— I don't always make the best decisions when it comes to dairy, okay? I mean, my favourite food is mac 'n' cheese."
"You… that's unfortunate."
"Oh, definitely. I don't let it stop me though."
"I have only heard legends of people who eat the food they're allergic to."
"Legends?"
"I… thought it sounded cool. Apologies, I shall refrain from—"
"No, you're fine, Logan! I was just wondering what legends had people eating their allergy in it, that's all."
"Ah, none to my knowledge. The closest I can think of would be the Norse myth in which Balder had a dream that he was going to die, so his mother Frigg made all the plants, trees, and animals promise to never hurt Balder, but she forgot to ask mistletoe. The gods assumed that Balder was invincible and often used him as a target for knife-throwing and archery. One day they were all playing darts, and Loki, having learned from Frigg that Balder wasn't immune to mistletoe, made a dart from the plant and pretended to help guide the blind god Höd's hand. But under Loki's supposed assistance, Höd struck his brother, Balder, piercing his heart and killing him.
"Although Balder wasn't allergic to mistletoe in that case, it was just the only plant that could hurt him, and then Loki was being mischievous, which makes sense as he's the god of mischief." Logan paused, realising that he'd rambled on for longer than he'd intended. "Ah, apologies, that was a rather long story with very little relevance."
"You're fine! I enjoyed listening! It's been quite a while since I heard that story anyway, and I can see how your mind made the connection."
"Oh, okay… well, thank you for listening."
"Of course, Logan. Anytime."
Logan frowned a bit. "We got quite off topic."
Patton laughed. "So we did. But we can continue to get off topic together as we walk the park's walking trail if you want. The trail start is only a few blocks away."
"Alright… have you ever heard about the story where Thor dressed as Freyja to get Mjölnir back?"
"Ooh, that sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't remember most of it. Wanna tell it to me?"
Logan felt himself get even more excited. "Yes, I'd like that."
-
The day had gone so much better than Logan had expected, more than he'd ever dared to hope. Not only did Patton not hate him, but they'd spent most of the afternoon talking. Their conversation had been a bit awkward at times —as Logan's conversations with people other than his mother often were, albeit usually more awkward than it had been with Patton; at least Patton and Logan had some things in common—, but Logan was quite pleased with how the day had gone.
Logan had rather expected to be going home in tears, rather than a small smile he'd found on his face.
After he got home, Logan heated some leftovers for supper and finished the last of his math homework, quite glad that there weren't any bottles from the prior night to clean up —just a beer can that was already in the recycling—, and that his mother hadn't been too hungover to go and work.
Feeling a bit unsure what to do until his mother got home from her evening job, he watched some TV, his conversations with Patton still in the back of his mind.
He especially couldn't stop thinking about when Patton had said that he hadn't known that Logan existed, how his mother had said, on multiple occasions, that his father had taken one look at Logan and left, that he didn't want him.
But Patton did want Logan —or at least thought he did at the moment, he easily might not after getting to know Logan and seeing how worthless he was— and he hadn't known of Logan's existence… and since Logan was quite certain that Patton was telling the truth, that could only mean one thing: his mother had lied.
It meant that his mother had been lying to him for a frighteningly long amount of time.
What felt like both too soon and not soon enough, Logan's mother came home, looking tired as always.
After she grabbed something small to eat, she laid down on the couch, Logan hovering near one of the couch's arms.
"...I saw him today," Logan finally said.
His mother looked up at him. "Saw who? …Your father?"
"Yes, I met him, his husband, Janus, and briefly two out of three of their children. Although the eldest, Virgil, was Janus' son, I assume from a previous relationship, who didn't seem to consider Patton his father."
"Huh, I see. Did it go well?"
"It went… a lot better than expected." Logan felt himself begin to get a little mad. "Especially considering the fact that Patton didn't know of my existence and was actually really nice."
His mother winced. "Oh."
More anger rose in Logan. "Yes. 'Oh'. I— Why didn't you tell Patton that I existed? And why did you tell me that he knew and just didn't want me!?"
"I… don't know."
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Logan was aware that tears were streaming down his cheeks but he couldn't find it in him to wipe them away.
"Logan, sometimes people just… make mistakes. And sometimes they don't realise until it's too late to fix them, at least directly, so they just leave the mistake to fester and it just gets worse over time but they certainly don't want to deal with it now." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "It just got worse, and the longer I waited, the worse I knew it would make everyone feel. So, I just never said anything… not till I finally, finally just bit the bullet and found his address."
She finally stopped staring at the ceiling and looked over at Logan. "I fucked up. I know I did, and I know I should've done it a long time ago, but at least you have your dad now. I know it's my fault that you didn't for so, so long, but you do now. I'm… Logan, I'm really sick, and it took… it took almost dying to realise that I was just trying to keep you to myself, and that's really not fair to you. I'm… I'm so sorry I didn't let you two meet sooner, and it's okay if you don't forgive me for a while, or ever, but I'm trying to fix it now. I'm trying, Logan."
"I—" Logan scrubbed underneath his eyes. "I know, Mom. I know you're trying. It— it really hurt, it hurt not to have him, but you… you did the right thing, and now I do have him. Him and you. That's all I ever wanted…” He paused. "I don't think I can forgive you today… but soon. I just need some time."
Logan's mother smiled softly. "I know, and I understand."
"I'm… I'm glad to have you back, Mom. Yo— you weren't really there for quite a while."
"Yeah, I know, and I am so, so sorry. But I promise that I'm not going to drink again. Your… your dad found me on Facebook earlier while I was at work and we messaged each other, and God bless him, he's actually paying for me to go to therapy with his cousin, Dr. Picani. I'm…" She paused to dab at her eyes with her handkerchief. "I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get out of this depressive funk and I'm going to fucking stop this stupid alcoholism.
"It's not going to be easy, or linear, but I'm going to do it. I will."
"I know you will. If anyone could do it, it'd be you."
"Thank you for always having my back, little Lo. I don't know what I'd do without you. I— come here, baby." She raised her frail arms up and Logan quickly ducked between them, the both of them wrapping their arms around the other.
After a few moments they pulled away, Logan still kneeling beside his mother. "I… he invited me to come back soon."
"I know."
"I… I want to see him again. I'd like to get to know Patton and his family more."
"Okay, you know I support you either way, baby, so if you want to see him— all of them, then you should spend more time with them."
Logan wasn't sure what to say, so he just asked, "Do you want to watch a movie?"
His mother smiled. "Only if we pop some popcorn."
-
Logan sighed as he looked at Patton and Janus' white door. The parallel between now and the first time that he'd met Patton was making him hesitate, which was only making the moment feel even more familiar.
Logan startled slightly as Janus opened the door.
Janus raised an eyebrow. "Well, now isn't this déjà vu?" He rhetorically asked, the sarcastic tone that his voice usually took ever-present, despite the statement itself holding no actual sarcasm.
"Ah, apologies, I was just…"
"Gathering yourself for a moment?"
"Yes."
"Hmm… well, come in."
"Thank you." Logan went inside and Janus shut the door behind them.
"Logan's here, love," Janus called across the living room and Patton looked up from what he was fixing in the kitchen to across the kitchen bar.
"Hi! You made it!" Patton waved.
A golden retriever mutt came up to Logan, sniffed his pant leg, and began wagging their tail at him, so he patted the dog on the head a few times.
"I did." Logan remembered what his mother had said years ago about how people liked to have their house complimented. "Um, I like how your house's common area is an open plan. It's very… spacious."
"Aww, thanks, Logan. I really like that about our house too." His eyebrows furrowed a bit. "Where's your mom?"
"Ah, yes, she sends her regards and apologies for being absent, but she had to cover for a co-worker at work. It was rather sudden so we didn't have proper time to forewarn you."
"Oh, okay. Well, that's fine! That's too bad that she couldn't come, but I'm glad you're here anyway."
Patton was very generous with his compliments, Logan noted, a bit unsure as to why Patton's praise made him feel so happy. Well, Logan had been idolizing him since he was young, so perhaps it was a bit more obvious than he'd originally thought. He'd been wishing for a father figure since he was little after all.
"And I am glad to be here."
"If you'll excuse me for a moment," Janus said, "I'll go let everyone know you're here."
Janus went upstairs and since Logan wasn't sure what to do, he petted the dog some more.
"Oh! That's Biscuit, by the way!"
"Ah, they're a very good dog."
"Isn't she!"
Janus came down the stairs only a minute later, the twins in tow.
"Oh! It's the Boy Scout!" The twin dressed in a prince costume exclaimed.
"No! He's a zombie," The other twin —his name was Remus, if Logan recalled correctly— tried to correct, pointing his finger at Logan, the black and green sparkly cuff bouncing as he did so.
Janus clicked his tongue. "Remus, what did I tell you about pointing at people?"
Remus sighed deeply. "Not to because it's rude."
"And what do you say, dear?"
"Sorry, Logan."
"It's alright."
"Oh, also maybe don't call people zombies," Janus added.
Logan couldn't help but think what an odd family they were.
"...Are you a zombie?" Remus asked.
"No, I'm not a zombie, or a Boy Scout for that matter."
"Aww," The little prince whined. "Then who are you?"
"Logan."
He snorted. "Okay, smart—"
"Ass!" Remus finished.
"Boys," Patton scolded. "Roman, don't let Remus take the fall for your curse word, and Remus, we don't curse in this house!"
"You said 'fuck' just yesterday, Papa. You know, when you accidentally spilled milk everywhere?"
Patton sighed. "Okay yes, I did. But I shouldn't've said that."
"Also you're an adult, which means that if you wanted to curse, you could," Janus added.
"Yeah," Remus agreed. "Like Virgil, although he's not an adult… wait, why is Virgil allowed to cuss and we're not? We're only like… nine years younger."
"Well, my age minimum for children cursing is lower than your Papa's, so we compromised, and if you don't swear loudly in public, you can curse when you turn fifteen."
"Aww, but that's so far away!"
"Yes, it is."
"Oh, speaking of Virgil, where is he?" Patton asked.
"Still upstairs. He said that he'd be down in a minute."
"Oh, okay!"
"...So who are you really?" Roman asked.
"And don't say 'Logan' again!" Remus added.
"...Logan Sanders-Miller."
"Aww. You did it again."
Janus sighed. "Don't you remember when I told you last night that Patton had a son who was coming over for dinner today?"
The twins shook their heads.
"Did you tell them while they were watching TV?" Patton asked.
"Yes— oh, I see what happened. I always forget that they won't hear me if the TV's on."
"Are you really Papa's son?" Remus asked Logan.
"Um, yes, I am his biological son."
Roman ran into the kitchen where Patton was still cooking. "Papa?"
"Yeah, Ro?"
"Why'd you hide Logan from us?"
"Oh, sweetie, I didn't hide Logan from y'all! His mother had never told me that he'd been born so I had no idea he existed."
"Oh, that's sad… so kinda like how you and Dad didn't know that me and Remus existed until you found us at the adoption place? Well, except that Logan's your bioluh… biological son and me and Remus aren't."
"Yeah, that's exactly right!"
"Remus and I," Janus corrected. "I am trying to teach our sons some semblance of proper grammar after all."
…
Supper went fairly well, it was a bit awkward at times and Logan had a strong feeling that Virgil didn't like him, but the twins' lively conversation soon easily broke up any awkwardness.
"I can help clean up," Logan offered after they'd finished eating.
"Aw, that's okay! I've got it. Besides, you're our guest!"
"Oh, alright…"
"Um, but if you want, you could go watch the twins in the living room. They'll probably get out some toys which is fine, just make sure they don't physically hurt each other. Oh, but if that's too much pressure, I can come watch them, I'm just helping Janus clean up right now."
"That's alright, I can watch them." Logan walked deeper into the living room and around the couch, noticing Virgil scowling at him from the dining table as he went.
Seriously, why did Virgil dislike him so much?
"Logan!" Remus exclaimed as he knocked his plastic dinosaur into Roman's.
"Come play with us!" Roman whacked his pteranodon into Remus' triceratops, which fell out of Remus' hand, causing Roman to cheer.
"Aw, man!" Remus pouted. "Now how am I supposed to defeat the dino rebels!"
Logan sat down on the floor next to the twins. "Hmm, perhaps the Ankylosaurus could help?"
"Oh, yeah! But I'm dead, so you'll have to play him, okay?"
"Alright, I can do that."
"Oh no!" Roman cried dramatically. "Another leader of the Dinosaur Imperial Magistrate —DIM for short— has arisen!"
Logan played with the twins, using the plastic dinosaurs to fight for a minute or two when Virgil came into the living room and sat on the couch, gesturing for Logan to come sit next to him.
After Logan excused himself from the battle, Remus and Roman continuing on in his absence, he got up and perched himself on the edge of the couch.
"Yes?"
"You don't have to play with them, you know,"
"Oh, I know, but I actually enjoy playing with people younger than me."
"I just— I can take care of them by myself." Virgil huffed. "I know that Patton doesn't think that, but I can! I can be responsible!"
"Alright. I've never said otherwise—"
"You can't just come in here and suddenly be a part of this family."
"O… kay? I didn't—"
"I don't know what you think you're doing, just waltzing in here like you've always been here but you haven't! You can't just uproot our family because suddenly you want a dad."
"I understand that I haven't always been here but I really am not trying to uproot anything. I'm not trying to tear your family apart, I just want to earn my place in it."
"And what makes you think you will?!" Virgil exclaimed, his voice dangerously low, but still quiet so as not to let the twins playing on the other side of the living room or the adults in the kitchen overhear.
"I… I don't know," Logan admitted. "When I first met Patton, I didn't even originally come to try and join the family he'd built for himself. I just wanted to know why he hadn't wanted me as a baby, only to find out that my mother had lied and he had no idea I existed. I'm only here trying to earn a place in Patton's life because he's invited me into it."
"I—" Virgil's breaths were shorter than they should have been. "W— well stop trying! Who said you deserve to try! You shouldn't expect so much so soon!" Virgil's voice was steadily rising, so much so that the twins looked up from where they were playing.
"Are you okay, Virgie?" Roman asked.
"Yeah, you seem mad," Remus agreed.
"Everything's fine," Virgil gritted out, "I'm just talking to Logan."
"Okay, just remember Papa's saying: 'you say things bad when you're mad' !"
"Whatever, just go play."
The twins both frowned.
"Um, okay," Remus said, worry still evident in his tone. He looked at Virgil for a moment longer before he hesitantly went back to what seemed to be an odd game that involved both chess and checker pieces.
Logan took a deep breath. Virgil's words struck a little too close to home. "I apologize if it seems like I've been trying to barge in where I do not belong, but if I could ju—"
"Just stop it already. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."
"I— alright."
"I just…" Virgil took some more heavy breaths. "I just don't understand how you can come in here and act like you belong and like everyone's totally chill with that! Patton just met you the other day, there's no way that he could like you already! He's just being polite! And you're too naïve to fuckin' see that.
"No one even wants you here!" Virgil stopped, looking quite surprised at his outburst… at least he did until Logan's vision blurred with unshed tears. Logan couldn't see Virgil's face well enough to tell after that.
Logan stood up. "Well then, I apologize for overstaying my welcome. I can see that I'm not wanted so… so I'll be going then. Goodbye."
"Wait, I didn't mean t—"
"Didn't you though?" Logan snapped as he made his way around the couch and to the front door.
Patton came out of the kitchen, Janus right behind him, and asked, "Oh, Logan, are you leaving so soon?"
Logan opened the door.
"Wait, Logan—"
Logan shut the door behind himself with a bit more force than necessary, just able to hear Virgil faintly say, "Shit, I think I made him cry."
Tears streamed down Logan's face the entire walk home.
-
Logan had never been one to outwardly display his emotions, but he also tried not to just push them down. Which was why he'd felt so utterly embarrassed when he couldn't stop crying the day prior.
It was one thing for Logan to cry in the privacy of his own room, and another thing entirely to cry in front of Patton and his family. Sure, someone might've seen him cry as he was walking home, but that was nothing in comparison to how shameful he felt that Patton had to have seen him like that.
So much for trying to prove that he was good enough. He'd certainly messed that up beyond repair as there was no way that Patton would want him now.
Logan sighed, and forcing himself to get out of bed, he walked to the living room.
Logan's mother looked up from the TV and frowned, using the remote to turn it off.
"Hey, baby. What's wrong? Did something happen last night?"
"...I made a complete fool of myself."
She frowned. "Hmm, well come here. Let's talk it out."
Logan sat next to her. "Okay."
"So? What happened?"
"Well, Virgil said that no one wanted me there, among other things, and I kind of panicked, so I left… but everyone saw that I was crying before I could leave. It… Newton, I was so embarrassed. Still am, actually."
"Oh, honey! I'm so sorry."
Logan sniffed. "He was right though. I did kind of just barge in there and act like I was entitled to Patton and his family."
"Really?" His mother asked skeptically. "Because that doesn't sound like you at all."
"I— well… Virgil informed me that Patton didn't actually want me there, that he was just being polite and I was too naïve to see that," Logan spat as tears began to well up in his eyes.
"Hmm, okay. I don't know what Virgil's problem is, but I just really don't think any of that's true. I've been messaging your dad a bit ever since you met him. He seemed nothing but excited that you were in his life… well, and guilty for not being there for you sooner, but I've already told him that it's not his fault. I was the one to keep it from him after all…
"Anyway, point is, your dad absolutely wants you there. I think you'd know if he was just being nice. If there's two things I remember about him from college, it's how kind he was and how his passive aggression was not super veiled. I really do think that he cares about you, and while I don't know why Virgil said all those things, I think you should talk to the both them about it. Maybe it's not as bad as you think."
A few tears rolled down Logan's cheeks. "...Are you sure?"
His mother patted his shoulder. "Quite sure."
"Okay… when do you think I sh—"
There were a few light knocks on the front door, making Logan startle as he quickly tried to wipe away the few fallen tears.
Logan's mother got up and answered the door. "Hello, what can I do for you two?"
Logan couldn't hear what the other people had said, but his mother quickly ushered Patton and Virgil in with a, "Please, come in. I'm sure there's much to talk about."
Logan was just about to stand up and hide in his room when Patton said, "Wait, Logan. This'll only take a minute, but there's something that Virgil wanted to say."
Logan hesitated and almost left anyway, but Virgil seemed so genuinely worried that Logan stayed.
"Alright. Just for a minute."
"Okay…" Virgil nodded, still looking extremely nervous but almost a bit relieved. He stood in front of the couch, still keeping some distance so as to not crowd Logan.
Patton and Logan's mother went into the kitchen, most likely to make some tea, and Patton gave Logan a brief reassuring smile.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for snapping at you yesterday," Virgil began. "I didn't mean anything I said, especially that no one wanted you there… you don't have to earn your place in this family by the way. This doesn't make it right, but I was jealous because I thought that Patton liked you more than me. But that's not true, he doesn't play favourites like that."
"...Oh. I see."
"I'm afraid that I was kinda projecting my feelings of inadequacy onto you, like, everything I said to you was what I was feeling towards Pat. Um, but he and I had an entire conversation about it and I'm doing a lot better now, but still, I'm really sorry you had to get caught up in all that shit. In all of my shit."
"I… did not enjoy it, that's for sure, but as long as you learn from your mistake and try your best not to do it again…"
"I promise. From now on if I have a problem with someone, I'll talk to them about it instead of snapping at someone else."
"Good. In that case, I forgive you."
Virgil's shoulders slumped in relief. "Okay, thanks, Logan."
"You're welcome, Virgil. And thank you for apologising."
"No problem, it's the least I could do after I was so mean to you." Virgil shifted on his feet. There was a pause before he asked, "Hey, wanna go see what our parents are talking about in the kitchen?"
"Sure."
Logan's mother laughed at something Patton had said as Logan and Virgil walked into the kitchen.
"Oh, hey, kids. You get everything sorted out?" Patton asked, a bit pointedly at Virgil.
"Yeah, I apologized and he forgave me."
"Good, I'm glad."
"Um, hey… Pops?" Virgil seemed a bit hesitant with the nickname, and Logan deduced that he must have just started using the fatherly nickname after his emotional conversation with Patton.
Patton seemed to be holding back a beaming smile as he answered, "Yes, Virge?"
"Can we take Logan and his mom out to get burgers for lunch?"
"Oh, that's a great idea! Er, if they're not busy, that is."
Logan's mother hummed. "Well, I don't have work until three, and it's a Saturday, so it's not like Logan has school."
"Great! Do y'all like Sonic?"
Logan felt himself get excited. "Sonic's burgers are superior, especially when you consider the facts that you can get tater tots with it and that they have cherry limeades, as well as root beer. Which are my two favourite drink options."
"You're absolutely right," Virgil agreed. "They really are superior."
"Did you know that the first location opened near Shawnee, Oklahoma and was originally called the Top Hat Drive-In? In 1959 when Troy Smith and his business partner, Charlie Pappe looked into getting it copyrighted, but they discovered that it already was copyrighted. So they named the franchise Sonic, with the slogan 'Service With the Speed of Sound' ."
"Oh, yeah," Virgil agreed. "I think I read an article about that. They named it Sonic because the jets at Tinker Air Force Base in Oklahoma city were breaking the sound barrier, right?"
"Yes, that's correct." Logan couldn't help but give Virgil a small smile, who returned it easily.
Logan had never met someone who liked Sonic anywhere near as much as him, and looked forward to sharing more facts with Virgil.
In the end, Logan had never had so much fun doing something so normal as getting hamburgers. Although he was beginning to suspect that nothing was normal around the Sanders' family… and he was right.
-
Logan loved the science fair, it was one of his favourite things about school, and even if his mother usually had to work a lot, she always made time for Logan's science fair, and this year was no different.
…At least in that aspect, it was no different, it was, however, definitely different in another way, namely, Patton and his whole family came.
Janus and Virgil were each holding the hand of one of the twins who were trying to pull every which way to see everything, bringing up the rear was someone that Logan didn't know, but looked rather like Patton —a brother or cousin, maybe?— in a floral print shirt, and leading the whole procession was Patton, a large tote bag on one shoulder, and a big water bottle in his other hand.
Patton waved, the tote bag almost slipping, but he managed to catch it just in time, laughing at himself a bit. "Hey, Logan! I brought snacks!"
"...To a science fair?"
"Yeah! I thought we might get hungry after."
"Ah, that's true. I hadn't thought of that. Good idea."
"Thank you!" Patton beamed. "Oh! This is my brother, Thomas." Patton gestured with his lips at the person Logan didn't recognize.
"What's up?" Thomas greeted.
"I'm at the science fair."
Thomas snorted. "That's fair."
Logan squinted suspiciously. "Was that a pun?"
"Sure was!"
"...I can certainly see the relation."
Thomas and Patton laughed.
Janus turned to Logan from where he'd been talking to his children. "Ah, before I forget, good luck with your presentation."
"Thank you, Janus."
"You're going to do awesome!" Roman assured.
"Or fall flat on your face," Remus gleefully added.
Logan pursed his lips. "Well, I certainly hope I don't fall on my face."
"Nah," Virgil said. "You won't… probably."
"Confident as ever," Janus teased sarcastically. "Well, we should probably go take our seats, but we wanted to wish you luck first."
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
Janus took the bag and water bottle from Patton.
"It was nice meeting you," Thomas said.
"Nice to meet you as well."
"Break a leg!" Remus said sweetly as they walked towards the seats, and somehow, Logan knew that he only half meant it in the 'perform well' way.
"So, where's your mom?" Patton asked.
"Here! I'm here." Logan's mother smiled nervously as she tried to catch her breath. "Patton, it's, um…"
"Good to see you again, Cindy."
Her shoulders sagged slightly in relief. "Yes. It is."
Patton was about to say something in reply but a woman with a dyed blonde bob haircut walked up to them, an overly fake smile on her face. "Hi! I'm Sheryl."
"Hi, Sheryl, I'm Patton!" Patton shook her hand. "And this is my son, Logan, and his mom, Cindy."
"Aww, don't you two make a cute couple."
Logan sighed a little louder than he meant to.
Patton's smile quickly turned awkward as he explained, "Oh, we're not a couple anymore, but my husband and our other children are here."
"Oh." Sheryl just awkwardly walked off and spotted someone she knew. "Susan! How's the kids?"
Logan mentally groaned. "Apologies. That entire interaction was my fault."
"What?" Patton asked. "Nonsense!"
"You wouldn't even be here if I didn't have a science fair, or had met you… or even existed."
"Oh, hey, no. Logan, that wasn't your fault. And I'm really glad you exist, especially because I got to meet you. She was just being a bit of a jerk—
"Fuckin' asshole," Logan's mother interjected bitterly.
"But it's nothing I couldn't handle, and absolutely not your fault."
"...Okay."
"Okay."
"If she says anything else, let me know." Logan's mother pursed her lips. "I'm on the board, and I can assure you that we don't take too kindly to homophobia. Veiled or not."
"Thanks, I appreciate that. I'll certainly let you know."
Logan's mother checked her watch before she looked between Patton and Logan and nodded to herself. "Well, I'm gonna sit down. It starts in ten minutes but you two should have time."
"Should have time for what?" Patton asked.
"Logan wants to ask you something." She smiled knowingly and walked away.
Logan sighed.
His mother was a bit too perceptive at times.
"What was it you wanted to ask me about?"
"Oh… well, I was just wondering why… why you introduced me as your son. I mean, obviously I'm your biological son but…"
"Oh! I introduced you as my son because you are my son. Ah, but if that makes you uncomforta—"
"No! Er, no. I'm not uncomfortable. I just… am not clear what yo—" Logan cringed at himself. "Nevermind."
"No! Go ahead. What is it?"
"I… I'm not really sure how to explain."
"Oh, hmm, that's tough… maybe I can guess? I kinda think I know where this is going. Oh, but I can totally just give you time if you wanna think it out for yourself."
"No, that's… I'd— I mean, it would probably be easiest if you just said what you thought I'm trying to say."
"Okay. So, what I think you're maybe wondering is what… oh wow, this is hard. Okay, you're my biological son, but you're also just… my son, okay?"
"Oh, I— okay."
"Is that okay?"
"Definitely. I… yes."
"Okay. And um, well, you definitely don't have to… but I'm okay with you know, fatherly nicknames, but again, only if you want! Not trying to rush anything of course, or make you feel like you have to ever even. So… um, so yeah."
Tears began to prick at the corner of Logan's eyes.
He really hadn't expected this to happen when he'd woken up today. He'd of course known that Patton was kind and caring, but to know that he already thought of Logan as his son… that it was okay for Logan to call him father… it was all too much, albeit in a good way.
"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry! You don't have to—"
"No, no. It's alright. These, uh, these are happy tears… Father." Despite Patton having just said it was okay, Logan still warily looked at him to see his reaction.
Patton broke out in a big grin. "Awww! Oh my goodness, abjfshdjsjsjdh!"
"Wh— what?"
"Aah, sorry. I'm just, shvshshsh."
"...Are you having a stroke? The signs are—"
"No, it's okay. I'm not having a stroke. Just so happy I'm at a loss for words!"
"Oh, I see."
"...Can I hug you?"
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Patton wrapped his arms around Logan. "Thank you for being my son."
Logan buried his face into Patton's shoulder before mumbling, "And thank you for being my father."
Logan was almost late for his presentation due to his happy tears, but he found that it was very, very worth it.
-
Logan hadn't quite been sure what to think when Patton invited him to come along with the other Sanders to the beach. For one, he hated swimming, but also, if there was anything Logan hated more than swimming, it was sand. And that was without even mentioning the ride home in wet swim clothes.
So no, Logan wasn't looking forward to going... but Patton had invited him, and he did enjoy the Sanders' company.
When Patton's sky-blue minivan pulled up, Logan got up from the window seat, grabbed his bag, and, after locking the apartment door behind himself, walked down the stairs and to the van.
Patton rolled down the passenger window and leaned around Janus to say, "Hey, Logan! You got everything you need?"
"Yes, I have sunscreen, a pair of clothes, goggles, a towel, and the key to get back into my apartment."
"Great! Hop in!" Patton pressed a button and the side door slid open.
…
The drive there mostly consisted of the twins asking 'are we there yet' just to annoy everyone; bickering with each other; Virgil, Logan, and Janus trying to stop them from said bickering; and Patton jamming out to oldies as he drove.
Due to the twins' bickering and the fact that Logan had never been out this way to the ocean before, the drive felt longer than it actually was, but soon enough they were all unloading from the van and heading down to the beach.
It was a rather warm June day, and the sun sparkled across the water brightly as it was unhindered by any clouds.
Logan could feel the apprehension building in himself the closer they got to the water, but took a deep breath to try and get it to settle. Patton wanted him to go swimming, so swimming he would go.
After setting up their stuff and putting on sunscreen, they all got in the water. Remus and Roman instantly began racing, Virgil acting as the referee, while Patton and Janus got in the water at a more sedate pace, already wading in up to their knees.
Logan was still standing quite firmly in the sand.
Patton turned around to look at Logan and furrowed his eyebrows. "Logan? What's wrong?"
"I just… am not particularly fond of swimming, that's all." Logan hesitantly walked to where the water lapped at his ankles, feeling a bit silly as Patton was already in to his waist.
"Aww, I'm sorry. We would've picked a different activity if we'd known that."
"No, that's alright. If I really don't want to swim, I can sit in a beach chair."
"Still. We wanna do stuff that you'll like too. How about next time you can pick where we go?"
"Really?"
"Sure! Just name the place and we'll go soon."
"Hm… how about the planetarium?"
"Sounds great!"
Logan nodded and mentally braced himself as he walked farther into the water. It wasn't quite as cold as he'd thought, but was still pleasantly cool in the heat of the day.
Logan paused with a small frown once he'd gotten in past his bellybutton and sniffed the air. Since this was the ocean and not a pool, there was no chlorine to bother Logan. He got in to his shoulders and pushed his feet off the sand, swimming in place to stay afloat, finally level with Patton instead of trailing behind.
"This isn't as bad as I'd thought."
"Awe, I'm glad! I personally love swimming."
"Mm, I'd… well, not forgotten that there wasn't any chlorine, of course, but it's not that bad. And sure, it smells a bit like salt, but considering it's the ocean, that makes sense." The water began to lap at Logan's chin. "I really had expected it to be so much wors—" The water brushed past his lips and he wrinkled his nose as he spat out the few drops of water that'd made it into his mouth. "Eurgh! Why does it taste so salty?!"
Patton laughed gently. "You knew the ocean was salty, Lo!"
"Well, of course I did, Father, but I didn't know it was going to be this salty! Ugh, it's horrendous."
Patton giggled. "Aww, sorry, kiddo."
…
The saltwater had tasted terrible, but all in all, swimming had gone much better than Logan had expected. The lack of chlorine had really made a big difference.
After they had gotten out of the water for lunch, almost everyone made sand castles while Janus and Logan sat on a blanket under the shade of a big umbrella.
"So, how are you enjoying the family so far?" Janus asked, startling a small laugh out of Logan.
"What?"
"Well, it's been a few months. Surely you have formed some sort of opinion by now."
"Oh, I have. I just wasn't expecting the question." Logan paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "I really like it here… not the beach— well, it is nice here, but what I meant was that I really like being with everyone."
"Good, I'm glad. Everyone likes that you're here too."
"...Everyone?"
Janus smiled like he was in on a joke. Perhaps he was. "Everyone."
"...I'm not intruding?"
"Not at all. I daresay that there would be many protests if you tried to cut us off. Patton is quite the protective papa bear. Actually, if you want to be specific, I believe there'd be five protests. Six if you count your mother."
"Oh… six?"
"Yes, six. Did you really think I'm completely apathetic towards you?"
"Well, I didn't know, and… well, I didn't want to assume."
Janus hummed. "Now you don't have to."
"True." Logan paused, a bit of anxiety building in his gut as he tried to think of how to word what he wanted to say. "Thank you for letting me into your family," Logan rushed out. "You didn't have to do that, but you did anyway, and I— I really appreciate it."
"I'm… not even quite sure what to say to that. I don't feel as though it was letting you as in 'I gave you permission', but more like you just naturally became a part of our family."
Logan hummed. "I see. Well, regardless, I'm still grateful for all of you."
"And us you," Janus said, voice full of sincerity.
They sat there in peaceful silence for several minutes until Patton came up.
"Janus! The kids say it's your turn to play with them."
Janus sighed faux-dramatically. "Well, if they insist…" He got up and went to where the others were throwing sand around.
"Hi!" Patton exclaimed as he sat down next to Logan.
"Hello, Father. How was the sand?"
"Sandy dandy!"
Logan exhaled through his nose, if only to keep himself from laughing. "That's… a very you response."
Patton laughed. "You betcha!" He looked out at the ocean for a few moments before saying, "Hey, Logan?"
"Yes?"
Patton looked back at Logan. "I'm glad you came to find me a few months ago."
"Mm, me too."
"I… I know I said this at your science fair last month, but you're family." Patton laughed a little. "I mean, of course you're family, but I just… I wanted to say it again. And that… that I really care about you, Logan."
"I really care about you too… Papa?" Logan hadn't meant it to sound like a question but he was a little unsure if Patton would think it was okay so it did anyway.
"Awwwww, c'mere!"
Patton scooted closer, Logan copying him, and Patton put an arm around Logan's shoulders, who immediately rested his head on Patton's shoulder.
"Love you… Lo-son."
"...Was that a pun in front of my emotional conversation?"
Patton laughed again, much louder this time. "I can tell you've been hanging out with Virgil a lot."
Logan smiled. "Maybe a bit."
"Hey!" Remus exclaimed from a bit farther down the beach. "Come look at what we made!"
Patton and Logan exchanged glances as Logan sat up properly again before they got up and went to where the twins and Virgil were gathered.
"Where's Jan—" Logan cut himself off with a startled laugh as he could only see Janus' head, his body under the sand which had been shaped to look like a snake.
"See!" Roman beamed. "He's a sea snake."
"You good under there, dear?" Patton asked amusedly, obviously trying not to giggle.
Janus pouted a bit, but still said, "Yes, I'm fine, just covered in sand."
"I like the details in the scales! Very fancy."
"Yeah," Virgil agreed. "Re and Ro did most of them."
Logan tilted his head to the side. "What species were you modeling this after?"
Roman thought about it for a moment. "Uh… sea snake?"
Virgil snorted. "We didn't have one in mind. Just used our imagination."
"Ah, I see."
"Come build sandcastles with us, Logan!" Roman exclaimed more than asked as he smiled up at Logan.
Logan couldn't help but smile back. "Alright. What time period and place were you thinking of?"
"Ooh," Remus cut in, "Which ones have the most gore?"
"Well…"
Everything was so very different from only a few months prior, but it'd only changed for the better.
Logan had always had his mother, but his family grew bigger than he'd ever thought possible.
Home really wasn't about the house, but rather about the people; and between Logan's mother, Patton, Janus, Virgil, Remus, and Roman, Logan had an abundance of home.
And there truly was no place like home.
~The End~
No reposting, likes are nice, and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt
#sanders sides fics#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides fanfic#vee's writing#ts logan#tss logan#ts patton#tss patton#ts janus#tss janus#ts remus#tss remus#ts roman#tss roman#ts virgil#tss virgil#established moceit#tssbb 2022#thomas sanders sides big bang 2022
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Knife To Meet You
Word count: 1.5k
AU/Genre: Law Enforcement/Priest Mystery
Pairing: DLAMP (Janus x Logan x Patton x Roman x Virgil)
Summary: Janus and his fellow officers, Logan, Roman, and Virgil get dispatched to a very familiar road. They just hope their partner, Patton, literally next door at his church as a priest, isn't hurt... But be̶ ̸c̶a̷r̵e̷f̵u̶l̸ ̷w̶h̴a̶t̶ ̶y̴o̴u̴ ̸w̶i̸s̵h̶ ̸f̶o̶r̴.̸
Warnings: Blood, Injury Description, Corpse
Ao3
-
“What did they say happened to the victim’s mobile again? Sups never likes a vague report.” Logan asked, typing up the report for the case they had, moments previously, wrapped up. A world-weary air surrounded Logan as Janus averted his gaze to search his memory.
“I think the words were, and I quote: ‘The son of a bitch stomped it til any memory of it no longer existed.’” Janus said, a gleam in his eye quickly dimmed before he continued. “Of course, the evidence the suspect was ‘alledgedly’ trying to destroy that was on that phone was backed up automatically anyway, so hopefully the judge’ll get our suspect to compensate the victim in.”
“Damn right.” Logan said as he hit the enter button and snapping his laptop closed.
Only then did a familiar rumble fill the air as a nearly identical car to theirs’ pulled up beside them.
Janus caught Logan’s eye as Logan began stowing away his laptop. He smiled and jerked his head towards the passenger window beyond Logan. And as Logan turned to where Janus had indicated, he too couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.
“Hey Sugar! How’s it shapin’?” A man yelled from the other police car.
“It’s shapin’ to get some food! Officer Roman and Deputy Virgil” Janus yelled back, smile only growing wider as the other two police officers grinned.
“Are doing our usual? This case fried my brain.” Logan said, rolling his eyes at the exchange.
“Wouldn’t want to end up like that cell phone, huh. Janny! I might start calling you Intern if you’re gonna call me a deputy.” Virgil made a rude gesture to Janus, but as quickly as he did it, he laughing too.
“Fuck you too, Virgil.” Janus said as he returned the gesture before reflexively grasping for his own phone.
“Why do I always try to find my phone where my civilian pockets are? I don’t even have those pockets in uniform.” He grumbled, mostly to himself, though the bemused smirk that came upon Logan’s face made his cheeks heat a little.
“Yeah, I think we’ll-” Janus began to say, before the crackle of their radios cut him off.
“Unit 101 and 478, be advised of a hang up call from 123 Sanders Ave. Need both your units dispatched. Caller was hysterical and is likely injured based on intelligible words. 10-35, assume immediate medical Code 3 and be aware of any unknown suspects inside. 10-4, please respond.”
The four of them shared a look, the color faded from their faces as the location of the call came. They all sat frozen a beat longer than any of them would before Janus lifted the microphone to respond.
“10-4. Unit 101 and 478 en route from recent suspect apprehension. Both cars are fresh.” Janus willed his voice steady even as his throat grew instantly scratchy.
“10-4. Units will be advised if further calls issue from the caller.”
As he’d done many times before, Janus naturally flipped on his lights and sirens before he lurched his car forward out of the parking lot the two units had stopped at.
Silently, Janus roared down their route, always triple checking stoplights for traffic. The echoes of recordings of officers who’d collided with civilian’s cars that hadn’t heard the sirens rolling through his mind.
His knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. God he hoped. He hoped beyond hope beyond hope.
“Isn’t that location right beside Patton’s ministry?” Logan’s voice cut through, tight and slightly higher than normal.
“Yes it is.” Janus said, struggling to keep his voice level as his mind raced.
“Do you have that feeling too?”
Janus nodded. He wasn’t sure he could even speak anymore. His throat was tight. He had to constantly blink away the slight blurring gathering at the edges of his vision.
Street after street, Janus could have worn away a diamond Mount Everest using a spoon with how long the trip had dragged on.
With one last turn, he tore onto the road where they’d been called to. The church Patton served stood out immediately. The steeple had been popping in and out of Janus’s vision as soon as he had gotten onto the side streets off of the main road.
All in all, Janus couldn’t help but let a little tension out of his muscles when he screeched to halt in front of the house. Surprisingly, the house looked perfectly fine.
Or perhaps at the very least, not obviously subject to a break-in. No shattered windows or door broken off it’s hinges.
Well… Unless…
The front door was opened… wide open…
Screeching to a halt behind them, Roman and Virgil’s vehicle came to a stop behind their patrol car as Janus and Logan hopped out. Guns at the ready.
“I’ll take the front. Logan, cover me from the left. If I remember correctly, the living room and bedrooms are on the right. Should give you a better vantage.” Janus said. He let the implication hang in the air.
A weathered smile. A plate of cookies. A collective laugh as dentures were quickly caught.
Why?
Janus ran up the steps to the porch, gun held down slightly. He waited until he heard a slight creak on his left to begin to enter the house. But that wasn’t the only other thing he heard.
“Police! If you’re armed, come out with your hands up! If you are injured, announce your presence now!” Janus yelled.
The house was dark. Even the light outside could barely peek through the thick curtains, the only light source was the light streaming in through the still open door.
But what those curtains didn’t block out was the sound of crying and of wails of words he could not decipher.
This must have been what the dispatcher heard.
But they weren’t Janus. They didn’t recognize this voice.
Despite how garbled with chokes and sobs and wails it was, he could never mistake that voice.
Patton.
His gun hand began to tremble, but Janus immediately steadied it. He couldn’t afford to falter.
Especially not now.
“Clear!” Janus announced.
After ensuring the front living room was clear, Janus walked carefully into the doorway to the hall. He cleared the rooms on the right as Logan entered on the left, shouting “Clear!” before the crying swelled to a crescendo at the last door in the hall.
“No!” A yell from the back bedroom came.
By this time, Roman and Virgil had come from where they had checked the other side of the house. Not that Janus had heard them. (What would his supervisor say?)
“Clear” Roman said as he cautiously fell in line behind Virgil, everyone primed in front of the bed room door.
He could feel their eyes and furrowed brows as he held for a moment longer than he should.
Patton was in there. They all knew it.
God, Janus just hoped he’d get the chance to say goodbye.
He slammed the door open, raising his gun as he entered the room.
“Freeze!”
The words left his lips, but immediately, he wanted to take them back as Patton’s red-rimmed eyes blinked back at him. He caught as Patton’s face went from scrunched and hysterical to wide and… devastated….?
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Please!” Patton screamed as he huddled over where he was holding someone-
Wait…
Holding someone?
Oh. Oh.
Janus couldn’t help it. He rose his non-gun hand to his mouth as the scene before him finally registered.
Patton was in the center of the room, the bed nearly at his back as he sat kneeled in the floor. In his lap, lay the sweetest old lady that went to Patton’s church. Everyone had called her “Aunt Patty,” though only two or three people in the whole church were ever related to her.
Always had warm cookies ready to munch on. Clothed so many kids she might as well have been a department store. Would give you the clothes off her back if you needed anything in her style.
There she was, face swollen, nearly every visible part of her skin was bloodied and filled with cuts. Now that Janus considered it…
Had her bedroom carpet always been red?
No.
Patton… the walls… the carpet. They were all covered in her blood.
Retching from the doorway filtered through the room, though Janus was too distracted to turn to find who it was.
With a spark of light glinting off of it, Janus’s gaze dropped to the knife conspicuously nestled in the now blood soaked carpet.
Janus couldn’t stop himself as he stumbled back first into the far wall, his hand over his racing heart. He was just glad his gun didn’t misfire as it hit the ground on one of the only places the carpet wasn’t stained red.
There, engraved on the handle of the kitchen knife in his own handwriting, read: My Dearest Patton, “Knife to Meet You”
His gaze rose from the knife to met Patton’s.
He waited for a refusal, a reason, that Patton had just stumbled upon his own knife and this grisly scene. That Patton hadn’t…. He hadn’t…
But as Janus watched, Patton’s eyes simply teared up, looking away from Janus as he cradled her body closer to him.
“I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!”
And that was when Janus’s whole world fell apart.
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#dlamp#moceit#romantic dlamp#tw blood#knife to meet you#gore mention#law enforcement#police#priest#sanders sides au#sanders sides angst#established dlamp
0 notes
Text
Guide to janus/deceit ships:- (fanarts dont belong to me)
Moceit:-
-> cute ball of fluff x cool cocky villian (PARENTAL DUO)
-canon divergence (SVS)
-mutual pinning
-body swap
-divorced AU / parents AU
-hurt/ comfort
-huddle for warmth
-happy endings
-fluff
Anxceit:-
-> rival x rival (BASICALLY EXES)
-miscommunication
-fix it fic
-Amnesia fic
-angst
-outsiders veiw
-unhappy endings
Loceit:-
-> geek nerd x jock nerd (SMART DUO)
-Roomates / highschool AU
-college AU
-coffee shop AU
-teach seduction
-soulmate AU
Roceit:-
-> jerks x jerk (DRAMATIC DUO)
-enemies to lovers
-major character death
-fake relationship
-unrequited love
-first kiss
-fairy tale AU /historical AU
-Arrange Marriage
Demus:-
-> Accidental basterd magnet x basterd (VILLAINOUS DUO)
- sex pollen
-bang or die
-established realtionship
-humor
-Friends to lovers
BONUS:
Desleep:-
-> Girlboss x Girlboss (POWERCOUPLE)
-sharing a bed
-time loop
-crack fic
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
Page 2 of the fae au!
@fearful-quartet
1 / 2(here)/...
Kofi
#mizzle's art#fae au#fae patton#fae Deceit#human virgil#ts virgil#ts anxiety#ts patton#ts morality#ts deceit#fae au comic#comic#page 2#fae au page 2#future patton x darksides#established moceit#moceit
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fudge Sunday
Moceit Appreciation Week
Day 4- Animal
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30952019
Summary: Patton brings home a surprise for Janus. Janus doesn't expect good surprises from his husband.
Word Count: 1K
Warnings: Food Mention, Implied pet death, Cats, Frogs, Snakes
@moceit-appreciation-week
#moceit#moceitappreciationweek#janus sanders#patton sanders#established relationship#fluff#food mention#implied pet death#cats#frogs#snakes
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, I just went to a funeral, so can you write something? Perhaps Moceit with toll Patton making fun of short Deceit. Sorry if uts to much of a bother!
Something sweet to ease the day a bit
AO3
***
“Hey, short stuff.”
“Don’t start,” Delaney grumbled, carrying the heavy shopping bags in through the apartment door and setting them on the side to begin unpacking. “Hi,” he added, flashing a quick smile in greeting like he always did, despite his mood. “The traffic was so bad, ugh. I know I’ve only got a small car but like, that does not give those damn four by four drivers the right to just cut in like that I swear-”
Patton watched him from the kitchen table with a fond grin, leaning his chin in his hands as Delaney ranted about the various injustices he’d faced on the road home, interjecting with the odd hum or appropriate comment. When Delaney realised he was being watched he faltered, turning round to raise an eyebrow at Patton. “You gonna help with the tall shelves, beanpole, or are you gonna make me pull a chair over while you grin like a big ol’ chump?”
“Beanpole is it, squirt?”
“Squirt! I’ll squirt you with the super soakers I hid away if you’re not careful mister.”
“Huh, I thought you’d thrown those out because, and I quote; ‘you are a hazard to society when armed with even a harmless weapon such as these’?”
Delaney stuck his tongue out, dumping a few cans of soup into Patton’s arms when he joined him by the cupboards. “You were a hazard to society. Just because someone starts doing it on the internet does not mean you should too.” Patton raised an eyebrow, still grinning as he reached up to the higher shelves to stack the cans away. “But no, I didn’t throw them out. But they’re under close guard, so don’t go snooping for them or I will be forced to…”
Patton laughed. “Alright, alright. I won’t go snooping. But can we please get them out at the weekend? It’s supposed to be gorgeous weather and we can take them to the park!”
“Okay, Clifford, sure thing.”
“Clifford?”
“Yeah like the dog. The big one. Cause of those darn puppy eyes of yours.”
“I knew you liked me really…”
Delaney hid a smile as Patton leaned down to pick him up in a tight hug. “I hate everything that’s happening right now,” he said, but Patton knew the truth.
“Love you too. Shorty.”
“Hey-!”
#writepie#moceit#platonic moceit#or established moceit#or pre moceit#ts patton#ts deceit#ts writing#ts sanders sides#ts sanders sides aus#ts sanders sides fic#sanders sides#tw death mention#anon I hope this is what you hoped for!
116 notes
·
View notes
Note
mayhaps i have some Soft™️ hcs with deceit and the other sides?
love me some snek boy
roman
roman is among one of the first to accept deceit because 1) they are personally connected through the fact that they are both Drama Gays, and 2) roman will take literally anything as a compliment (and yes; that is a challenge)
deceit, trying desperately to get under roman’s skin: you are literally too stupid to insult
roman, fully aware that he is being insulted: aww, thanks babe
that isn’t to say that roman’s great at picking up on deceit’s lies – he’s one of the worst at it, actually – but he has fun with the lies that he can spot.
deceit, after realizing that roman is just That Way, does make a concerted effort to lie a little less around him
they also are both into ballroom dancing. roman, because it is Romantic™ and deceit, because it fits the Charming and Cunning image that he wishes to exude.
(okay, so maybe he finds it romantic, too. and maybe roman is the best dancing partner that deceit has ever had. and maybe deceit genuinely enjoys himself when he’s on the dancefloor, mind your own business)
deceit likes to pretend that he’s suave and impossible to fluster, but roman is Very Cute and has Very Many soft nicknames that just. wreck deceit on the daily.
patton
at first, patton and deceit’s relationship is rather… stilted. as a compulsive liar and manifestation of thomas’s self-preservation, deceit views patton as self-righteous and too tight laced. as the physical embodiment of morality, patton doesn’t dislike anyone (least of all deceit), but he isn’t exactly comfortable with him, either
but then deceit makes a pun – so many puns, actually – and the Game Changes
it’s a slow process, but after they’ve grown comfortable with each other, deceit receives the full Patton Treatment, meaning that he Will be engulfed in warm hugs and smothered with affection. there’s no escape, deceit, this is what you asked for.
deceit is not afraid to call patton out whenever patton inevitably lies to himself, in return, patton Can and Will reassure deceit that he and his beautiful snake-face are wanted and cared about. (he will Physically Fight anyone who says otherwise.)
virgil
once whatever is clearly going on between virgil and the dark sides is smoothed over, it is very easy for virgil and deceit to slip back into the caring yet roast-filled relationship that they had once before
virgil will make fun of deceit’s gloves, but he will also offer his hoodie when he realizes that the small snek is cold
as an old friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend-(turned something more?), virgil is among the best at spotting deceit’s lies. occasionally, he’ll play along with them, but occasionally, he’ll pull a Roman and deliberately take the lie seriously just to watch deceit get flustered about it
remus
chaos duo chaos duo chaos duo
dealing with remus gives deceit Constant Headaches, but it is also one of the most fun and enriching pastimes that deceit has, so.
remus is absolutely thrilled with deceit’s scales, because they??? look so cool????? what the fuck why don’t i have scales
deceit is touched, but also “remus get your fingers out of my mouth, if you wanna know whether or not i have fangs, you totally shouldn’t just ask.”
remus writes deceit some Very Graphic love poetry sometimes. deceit keeps every single poem in a book under his bed.
((got a separate ask for loceit, so i’ll get back to u on that))
#Anonymous#hcs#deceit#patton#roman#virgil#remus#dukeceit#roceit#anxceit#patceit#moceit#can read these as established relationships crushes or just guys bein dudes tbh#wasnt sure what Flavor u wanted#cursing
590 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Daniel is not a ginger!
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
if I may rub my little shipping hands on your adorable au: logan is patton’s school teacher, roman seems a rainbow flag in his classroom and is torn between “good, kids need more gay role models like him” and “hhhhhh guy hot must f l i r t”
I love this!! Gave me some ideas
Roman and Patton have recently moved into the area, after some coaxing from Remus to move farther away from the rest of their family. It’s a decent part of town with a good school system, so Roman agrees.
He takes Pat to school, and immediately gay panics over his hot Elementary School teacher. His first thought is “be smooth, go ask him out” but as he approaches him he realizes not only is this very inappropriate for the setting (asking someone out, like a teacher or a waitress, who is currently doing their job and required to be nice to you, is a little rude,) but he’s also stupid flustered and has no idea what to say.
He panics when he reaches Logan, introduces himself as Patton’s father, and pretends he was coming to talk about said small boy. He tells Logan he’s worried -- and, honestly, he was -- that Pat would have trouble making friends, since they just moved here. Logan, after watching Patton run around for about three seconds, doesn’t see where this worry is coming from, but he proposes a plan nonetheless.
Another kid in the class has been having trouble making friends. He’s not a bad kid, but he’s a chronic liar, and the other kids avoid him a lot. Logan points him out to Roman, and Roman sees a young boy with vitiligo patches on the left side of his face, sitting backwards in a chair and smirking at the table of kids in front of his. He doesn’t look particularly shy or lonely, but Roman knows all too well how looks can be deceiving, and trusts Logan’s judgement.Logan explains he is personal friends with Eden and his father, and bubbly little Patton could be a good influence on Eden, and Logan trusts Eden to make sure Patton is treated kindly. Roman is honestly relieved, and calls Patton over. He gives him a big bear hug, and hints to his little puffball that ‘that kid over there looks a little lonely sitting by himself, why don’t you go talk to him?’At first, Roman is confident in his decision. He can be sure Pat will be fine under Logan’s supervision, he’s already made a friend, and now Roman has an excuse to talk to Logan more regularly, to discuss the kids. Patton and Eden quickly become best friends, and them and two other kids that share their table -- Remy and Emile -- become a very adorable little group of troublemakers.Eden isn’t too bad either -- Eden’s father is busy a lot of the time, which Roman understands, as a fellow single dad, and Logan does a daycare after school, so when Roman comes to pick up Pat, he spares a few minutes to hang out with the two and let them tell him about their days. Eden is surprisingly snarky for a kid their age, but he really seems to respect Patton. As far as Logan tells him, Eden used to casually curse like an adult, but Patton got him to stop, which is a good first step (he got plenty of practice with his uncle Remus, after all).
Of course, Eden’s snark started rubbing off on Pat, too. They and their friend Remy started playing pranks on the other students every so often -- its always harmless, and Patton and Emile smooth everything over afterword with their friendliness, but that didn’t stop Remus from insisting Patton was going to ‘join the dark side with him.’
Sometimes, Eden will whisper something to Pat, and they’ll both laugh and chance glances at Logan or Roman. They are kids, so it must be harmless, but man, Roman wish he knew what those little schemers are thinking.
“At first,” of course, is the key phrase. It was a very nice little setup, though Roman couldn’t help but be curious about Eden’s father. Eden clearly adored his dad, but Roman had to admit, he was uneasy at the idea of a man who would let his eleven-year-old cuss like a sailor, sass his teachers, and kick his feet up on tables. Still, Roman held off judgement, since he had yet to meet him. Sometimes, when Roman would come home late, Patton would talk about how nice Mr. Blake was -- he would sit with them for a few minutes so Eden could show him the work they did together in class, and Patton insisted he was very polite and kind. He let that sooth his worries, remembering also that Logan said they were best friends. How could Logan’s best friend be a bad person? Logan was smart and handsome and amazing, of course he only knew the best people.And then, one day, Roman and his brother came to pick up his little happy patty, and Roman saw a familiar face sitting in one of those tiny chairs next to him and Eden. He realized, with horror, why the last name Blake had sounded so familiar.Virgil Blake. His old schoolmate, from middle-through-high school. The outcast, anxious, very nerdy, very gay Virgil Blake that Roman used to relentlessly bully over those same characteristics. He immediately got flashes of younger memories, Roman’s older brothers egging him on as he shoved the purple-haired, stunted teen into the lockers, walking away laughing as another nerd -- a boy with slicked back black hair and sharp blue eyes -- picked Virgil up and helped him gather his things.Virgil Blake was no longer small and frail, and he was glaring at Roman Castillo with a vengeance. Logan Berry, with his slicked back hair and sharp blue eyes, continued working absentmindedly at his deck, either ridiculously unaware, or smirking at his own genius. Roman was terrified to find out which was which, as Remus laughed through the hand over his mouth. Remus leaned towards his younger brother’s ear, putting their mutual realization into words for him,“Oooohohohooo! You fucked up, Ro~!”
#single dad roman au#single dad roman#single dad virgil#kid deceit#teacher logan#so like the endgame is romantic logince and moceit#and platonic prinxiety and analogical#starts with established platonic analogical and dukexiety#remus and virgil are coworkers and he didnt know virgil had a kid so it wasnt important enough to tell roman about until now#romantic or platonic remile is also fine#i just like emile and patton being close friends#and deceit and sleep being sass friends#virgil isn't going to keep his son from being friends with pat just because he doesn't like roman#he just isn't happy about it#if you cant tell by now yall im a sucker for platonic duke/anxiety/deceit
90 notes
·
View notes
Link
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Ship: LAMP’D, Logince, Moceit, Remy x Missy (background)
Word count: ~16,500
Warnings: No warnings apply.
Summery: Everyone has five (5) Sides, who must fuse to form one (1) human. Well, guess who our boys make? But the process isn’t as easy as you’d expect.
You can read it on ao3 or ff.net
@secretlyawyvern
#thomas sanders#sanders sides#deceit sanders#patton sanders#morality sanders#we hereby establish#moceit#i have fun :)
1 note
·
View note
Text
I've been having a lot of discussions recently in my server about the popularity of the Moceit ship and how the season finale could impact the momentum this ship has had recently and it got me wanting to make this post.
In short: I don't think the ship is gonna die out anytime soon. In fact, I think it's heading in the right direction to become a lot more popular than it already is. The season finale is what will make or break this ship.
But in order for me to explain this let's set the shipping aside. Let's just talk about Patton and Janus' relationship as it exists in canon.
There is currently nothing in the series to suggest that their relationship will go backwards. By the end of POF Patton had accepted Janus and they are shown to be learning how to get along with one another. I think it'd be ridiculous for the team to erase all that progress and put them at odds with one another again.
While I don't expect them to actually be "besties" come the finale it wouldn't make sense with what's been established for them to not at least be trying to get along and working together. We don't know much about their current relationship after the Redux but we know enough to infer that's exactly what's happening. The anniversary video may not be canon, but Thomas has confirmed it's based on what the sides would actually say so the stuff talked about in that video has some truth behind it and that's the best place to look for the most recent idea of what is going on between Janus and Patton. They've both made comments confirming that they are getting closer and doing more to get along. We also know that Patton accepting Janus has severely damaged his relationships with Roman and Virgil that we see very clearly in the end card WTIT.
So with it be very clear that Janus and Patton are getting along better it'd be foolish to pretend that it's not happening in the finale. I don't know what's gonna happen in the season finale, I don't know how much Janus and Patton will interact in the finale, I can't tell you anything for certain, but come the finale I don't think we're gonna see these two at odds. If anything happens between these two characters it would most likely only serve to strengthen their relationship rather than destroy it, because that's the clear direction for the two of them that the writers have been setting up since the POF end card.
TL;DR Janus and Patton's relationship is most likely here to stay by the finale because that's how they have been written
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Secrets and Lies
Summary: Patton is terrified Janus is cheating on him. He didn't think the reality would be so much worse.
TWs: mentions of/aftermath of sexual assault
Notes: human au, established romantic moceit
Janus was capable of a lot.
He was, without a doubt, the best thing that had ever happened to Patton. His tough exterior melted away every time he looked at Pat, his words sweet and gentle, eyes shining with so much love it left Patton breathless.
Janus made Patton smile, made him laugh, made him feel safe. There wasn’t a day that went by where Patton didn’t think about their first date, when Janus had shrugged off his leather jacket and draped it over the younger boy’s shoulders, winking when Patton’s face went bright red.
He still liked to wrap himself in the jacket sometimes, months and months later. It was heavy, comfortably warm, and it smelled like his boyfriend even now.
The only thing that could top the feeling of the jacket was Janus himself, tall and warm and strong, wrapping his arms around Patton and pulling him to his chest. Patton would never feel safer than he did in Janus’s arms.
Janus had been the first good boyfriend Patton had ever had. The first one to be patient and gentle with him, to be open and honest, to feel like home.
Janus was capable of making Patton happy. He was capable of making him feel safe, like he belonged. Patton knew he would keep his heart safe.
He never thought Janus could be capable of cheating on him.
And maybe… maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Patton was misreading the situation completely, paranoid from past experiences, plagued with memories of past relationships.
Janus wouldn’t do something like that. Patton was jumping to conclusions.
But… but Patton had seen it. He’d seen the mark on Janus’s neck, not even close to faded, only visible for a second when his shirt collar slipped down when he leaned forward to kiss Patton.
The mark had been there, clear as day, and Patton knew for a fact he hadn’t been the one to put it there. Not when he’d barely seen Janus the last two days.
Patton hadn’t been mad about Janus being distant. He’d texted and said he’d be busy for a bit, apologizing profusely and promising to make it up with a movie date as soon as he could, and Patton had of course understood.
But now here they were, cuddled up on the couch after almost two days of not seeing each other, and Janus had a hickey on his neck he was clearly trying to hide with a long sleeved shirt.
Patton hadn’t said a thing. He didn’t know how, forcing back tears and ducking his head as his vision blurred. He rested his forehead on Janus’s chest so he wouldn’t have to see the mark again, squeezing his eyes shut as Janus held him.
Patton proceeded to spend the rest of the week crying.
Everything suddenly looked like a red flag, the crushing realization that Janus could be cheating, sending him into sobs. He’d had to leave class once, locking himself in a bathroom stall when the thought had been too much to bear.
He was being paranoid. He knew he was. This wasn’t fair to Janus.
But Janus had just… been so distant. He’d disappeared for almost two days, came back with a hickey on his neck, and now it was like he was barely there.
He was as sweet as ever, smiling at Patton and holding his hand, but he was around noticeably less. He kept canceling plans, skipping class, putting off dates.
He was only wearing long sleeves now, and when he and Patton had gone out to lunch the other day he’d been wearing a turtleneck, despite the heat outside.
And he looked… exhausted. Like he wasn’t getting any sleep.
Like he’d been up all night.
Well, that made two of them. It was hard to fall asleep when Patton had spent every night sobbing into his pillow until his alarm broke through the hazy fog settling around his mind.
When the weekend finally came, and Patton found himself lying against Janus’s chest on the couch in his dorm like every Saturday night, he decided he couldn’t put it off any longer.
He’d seen a couple more marks while they were getting settled, covered up and faded enough that Patton would never have noticed them if he hadn’t actively been looking. He felt sick to his stomach.
“Can I ask you something?” Patton blurted, stiffening at his own words. “Just real quick.”
Janus immediately turned off the show they were watching, and Patton’s heart caught in his throat. He knew it wasn’t true. He knew Janus would never. He was just being paranoid, and asking something like this would just upset his boyfriend- his boyfriend who was endlessly wonderful and loving and loyal.
He just needed to hear it. He needed an explanation for this week or he’d never be able to relax.
“Yeah,” Janus said, quickly sitting up and giving his boyfriend his full attention, smiling brightly like he always did when he looked at Patton. “What’s up, Pat?”
“Uhm.” He hesitated, clasping his shaking hands together, willing himself to just calm down and get this over with. “Are you… I’m really sorry for asking this. Please don’t be offended.”
Janus just blinked at him, smile dropping slightly. “Okay…?”
“You’re not… cheating on me,” Patton finally managed. “Right?”
Janus froze, and Patton forced himself not to take the question back. “I… what?”
“You’ve just… got a few hickeys,” Patton explained. “And you were gone for those couple days and you’ve been so distant and you just… you look so tired.”
Janus’s expression morphed into one of panic, eyes widening as he pulled at his shirt to try to hide any visible marks, and Patton’s heart started to sink.
“I…” Janus hesitated, and he looked terrified. “I- I just… I’m sorry—”
“Please don’t,” Patton said, voice barely a whisper. “Please don’t do that.”
“Pat, I’m—”
“I thought I was just being paranoid.” Patton’s chest hurt, like his heart was breaking apart piece by piece, the world crashing down around him. “I thought you were different.”
Janus was scooting away from Patton, eyes wide and welling up with tears. Patton didn’t understand why he was the one who looked so upset, like he expected Patton to lunge forward and throw a punch. He wouldn’t. Even after this, he’d never even think about hurting Janus.
Besides, he didn’t even have the energy to cry.
“I’m- I’m so sorry,” Janus stammered out, and the words made Patton’s heart twist painfully. “I’m… I can explain. Please just let me explain.”
Patton sighed, frozen where he was, staring down at his lap. He just wanted to go to bed.
“Ok,” he said instead. “Go ahead.”
Janus’s breath caught in surprise, like he hadn’t expected Patton to actually hear him out. Patton wasn’t even sure why he was. Maybe he just wanted to know why. He wanted to know if there was something he could have done for Janus to stay.
“I—” Janus took a breath, trembling and unsure. Patton could hear him crying. “There isn’t an excuse.”
“No, there’s not.”
“I’m… I’m so sorry, I’m—”
“I can just go,” Patton cut in, his voice empty and hurt. “If you’re not gonna explain. It's fine.”
Patton felt the couch dip, listening as Janus moved even further away to press himself into the far corner of the cushions. Patton felt cold, his heart crumbling right in his chest.
“No, I just… I know you’re mad,” Janus said, and Patton scoffed. “And I’m not, I- I wasn’t… I promise I tried to say no. I promise I tried. I’m… I am so sorry, Patton.”
“What?” Patton’s head snapped up. “You what?”
Janus wouldn’t look at him, curled in on himself, breathing labored as he trembled and fought to catch his breath. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m not trying to make excuses, I swear.”
Patton’s heart was pounding in his ears, panic rising for a whole new reason this time. “You tried to say no?”
“I know I should have tried harder,” Janus said, words coming out in a desperate rush. “I know I should have and I’m sorry. I know… I know I ruined this, I’m so sorry.”
Patton couldn’t breathe, frozen where he was on the other end of the couch. “Jan, that’s not...you didn’t want it?”
Janus finally glanced at him, eyes fearful and unsure. “Of course I didn’t want it,” he said, but it sounded resigned and defeated. Like it didn’t matter. Like it didn’t make a difference. “I’m… I was dating you, I- I wouldn’t… I tried to say no.”
Oh. Oh.
Oh no.
“Oh my god.” Patton didn’t know what to do, realization dawning and bringing blinding dread along with it. “That’s… that’s not cheating, honey oh my god. I had no idea, I… that’s horrible!”
Janus flinched, squeezing his eyes shut, but he was talking again before Patton could continue. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m sorry I cheated and I’m sorry I kept it from you, I just didn’t—”
“Jan…”
“I know you’re mad,” Janus said again. “And that I can’t- I can’t fix it. I’m not trying to make excuses but I didn’t want it. I… I guess that doesn’t… make a difference. I’m so sorry.”
“No, no I’m not mad at you! That’s not cheating, baby. I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”
Janus warily glanced up, holding himself in a shaky death grip. “I… I cheated on you. Why are you apologizing?”
“No you didn’t,” Patton argued. “You were forced into something you didn’t want. What if someone did that to me?”
Janus dropped his gaze, tears streaming down his face. Patton had never seen his boyfriend cry before, and now he couldn’t seem to stop. “That’s different.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t try hard enough,” Janus said, quiet and so broken. “I could have tried harder to stop it.”
“Oh, honey that’s not… you didn’t cheat on me, Jan. You were assaulted.”
Janus didn’t move, looking small and miserable, hunched over himself. “But I kept it from you.”
“That’s not something you just say at breakfast,” Patton said, forcing himself not to reach out despite how badly he wanted to. “And you never had to tell me if you really didn’t want to. I shouldn’t have assumed the worst.”
Janus just looked impossibly confused, and it was slowly breaking Patton’s heart all over again. “I don’t… I’m still sorry.”
“It’s ok,” Patton assured. “I didn’t know, I’m- I’m so sorry that happened.”
“It’s my fault.”
“No, baby,” Patton said. “It isn’t. It’s never the victim's fault. Have you...told anyone else?”
Janus shook his head, holding himself impossibly tighter. “No. He… he said you would leave if you found out. He said it was cheating.”
Patton felt something cold settle in his gut, anger he wasn’t used to threatening to spill over. He carefully pushed it back down, taking in a shaky breath.
“He? He… who, Jan?” He’d asked it as gently as he could, but Patton quickly backtracked when Janus tensed, eyes widening in panic, his breathing hitching and picking up faster than before. “Alright, that’s ok. You don’t have to tell me right now.”
Janus was shaking, still refusing to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. “He… he said you—”
“You were being manipulated, Jan,” Patton said, quickly wiping away his own gathering tears. He could mourn for Janus later. “It’s not cheating, he lied to you. He's manipulating you into keeping quiet, honey.”
Janus shook his head, horribly unsteady hands moving up to run through and pull at his hair. “No it… I was with someone else and I hid it from you.”
“Someone assaulted you,” Patton carefully corrected him. “And you were scared to tell me. There’s a big difference.”
“But what if I could have gotten away,” Janus argued, desperate and scared. “If I- if I had just tried harder I could have. I was just… I panicked and I couldn’t—”
“Honey,” Patton cut in, as gentle and steady as he could manage. “I promise I'm not upset. Not with you. You didn’t do a thing wrong.”
He was upset that it happened, of course. He was furious, a deep protective rage settling in his chest. He’d give anything for a name, for a way to hunt down whoever had done this and wipe that manipulative smirk off their face.
But he wasn’t going to push Janus to tell him who it was. That could wait until after they’d both calmed down and talked it out.
When Janus spoke again, it was so quiet that Patton almost missed it. “Are you going to leave?”
“No,” Patton said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Janus’s breathing was still fast and uneven, but it was starting to slow back down just a bit. “I don’t… understand.”
“You did not cheat on me,” Patton said firmly. “You didn’t want it, and it wasn’t your fault that it happened. I’m not upset with you.”
“I- I tried to say no,” he said, like he still needed to explain himself. His breath caught again, released this time in a broken, terrified sob. “I wouldn’t do this to you on purpose but I still did, I… I thought…”
He trailed off, the rest of his words indecipherable around the ragged sobs clawing their way up his throat, Janus left to choke on his words and bury his face in his hands.
“Oh, baby.” Patton scooted closer, pausing when Janus froze, wide eyes flying to Patton’s hands. “Is it alright if I touch you? I promise I’m not angry.”
Janus still hesitated, struggling to breathe around his crying, eyes still glossed over with fear like he thought Patton could be lying, burying his anger until he was close enough to take it out on him.
Patton didn’t push, waiting patiently with a sad smile until Janus finally nodded. He closed the distance between them, slowly leaning against Janus’s side and carefully cupping his boyfriend’s face in his hands.
“I’m here,” he said, brushing away his tears as they fell. “It’s ok. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you, baby.”
Janus closed his eyes, face falling at Patton’s gentle words. “It’s… it’s going to happen again.”
Patton froze, the cold dread back with a vengeance.
“No it won’t,” he said. “We’re… we’re gonna keep you safe, ok? I’m gonna make sure this never happens again.”
“You can’t,” Janus choked out, and he sounded so small. “You can’t you- you won’t… you won’t be able to, I’m… I’m really sorry.”
“It's not your fault,” Patton promised. “We’ll figure it out. The teachers will listen to me, we can go to administration.”
Janus scoffed in between sobs, shuddering under Patton’s hands. “Nobody will believe me, Pat.”
“I believe you.”
“And you’re the first.” The tears didn’t slow, and Janus’s breathing only picked up as he talked. “It’s fair, I don’t… exactly have a good reputation. Nobody’s ever believed me and nobody ever will. I gave up trying.”
Patton’s throat felt tight, suddenly wondering how many other situations like this Janus had been put in with no one to turn to. Was this not the first time? Had someone not believed him before?
“Well, you have me now,” Patton said. “And I believe you. We’re gonna get you help, ok?”
Janus didn’t look at him, exhausted and almost limp, the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent now that Patton could look at him closely. “I… alright. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.” Patton hesitated, hating himself for even considering his next words. But Janus would have to go back to his dorm eventually, and Patton needed to know it was safe to send him there. “Jan? It… it’s not Remus, is it?”
Janus’s head jerked up, eyes flying open as he pulled back, more shocked than afraid this time. “What? No, I- Remus is our friend. He wouldn’t- he would never—”
“I know,” Patton said, and he did. The idea had been ridiculous, stemmed from paranoia and overprotectiveness, but it was worth asking to know Janus would be safe in his own room. “I just want to make sure you’re safe, baby.”
Janus relaxed slowly, still rubbing his face with his sleeves, and Patton gradually gathered him back into his arms, shushing him gently, wiping his tears.
“It wasn’t Remus,” Janus clarified after a moment. “Remus would… he’d freak out and kill someone if he knew. You- you can’t tell him.”
“I won’t tell anyone you don’t want me to,” Patton said. “But we can’t just let this go, Jan. Especially not if you’re still in danger.”
Janus shuddered again, crying against Patton’s shoulder. “I don’t… I don’t want to keep doing this to you. I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s not about me, honey. It’s about you. You don’t deserve this.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Janus said, cautiously reaching up to clutch at Patton’s back. “It was… I know it was selfish to keep it from you but I- I thought you’d leave and I couldn’t… I was so scared.”
“Oh, honey.” Patton held him, painfully gentle like Janus could shatter like glass. “You didn’t have to tell me. It was personal. I’m sorry I forced it out of you before you were ready.”
“He said I was cheating on you, I… I thought you’d hate me.”
“I don’t,” Patton said, running his fingers through Janus’s hair. “He was lying. I promise I don’t hate you, baby.”
He felt Janus tighten his hold, his boyfriend still trembling against his side. “Are we… still together? I understand if you—”
“Yes,” Patton interrupted before Janus could even finish that thought. “We are. I love you, Janus. Nothing has changed.”
“Oh,” Janus said, breathless. “I just- I thought… I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Janus’s breathing eventually slowed, his sobs dying down as Patton held him, rocking him gently on the couch as the dorm gradually fell silent.
“I might skip tomorrow,” Janus muttered after a few moments. “I feel sick.”
“I’ll skip with you,” Patton declared. “Virgil’s out for the night, you can stay here. I’ll take care of you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” Patton said. “You can rest, baby.”
“I love you,” Janus suddenly blurted out, like he’d been working up the courage. “I can… can I still say that?”
“You can,” Patton said, moving to take Janus’s hand in his own. “I love you too.”
Patton went back to cupping Janus’s face, frowning as he gently wiped away lingering tears with his thumbs, lightly brushing the bags under his eyes. He kept one hand under Janus’s jaw, the other moving to run through his hair, moving it out of his face.
“You look so tired, baby,” Patton said, and Janus’s eyes slipped shut for a moment, his eyelids heavy. “Have you slept at all this week?”
Janus shook his head, and Patton leaned in to kiss his forehead when his eyes welled up with tears again. “I tried. I couldn’t get to sleep. Being alone wasn’t… helping.”
“Oh, baby.” Patton pulled back, reaching instead for Janus’s hands. “You can stay the night. I’ll help you get some rest, okay? We both need it.”
“You sure you’re okay with me staying?”
“Of course,” Patton said. “I want you to. Come on, let me help you to bed.”
Janus practically collapsed on top of his boyfriend by the time Patton guided them both under the covers, wrapping his arms around Janus’s back and letting him rest his head on Patton’s chest.
“I’ve got you,” Patton whispered, freeing one hand to play with Janus’s hair. “You’re safe. Go to sleep, baby.”
Janus was holding onto Patton like a lifeline, but he was sound asleep in minutes, his frantic grip loosening as he finally drifted off to sleep.
Patton’s own exhaustion from sleepless, stressful nights finally weighed down. Everything ached, panic and uncertainty lingering, everything dragging him down to sleep, begging him to just close his eyes and leave it behind.
He would fix this, he could promise himself that. He owed it to Janus to set everything right.
But he could do that in the morning. Right now, he could pretend everything was back to normal. He could hold his boyfriend, his wonderful, loving, loyal, boyfriend, and finally let himself sleep.
#sanders sides#patton sanders#ts patton#janus sanders#ts janus#human au#assault tw#rape tw#moceit#romantic moceit#writing#fanfiction
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
MIA
Word Count: 2380 (Ao3)
Pairings: Moceit, Dukexiety (background)
Rating: T
Warnings: Mild gore mention
Patton gets a little freaked out when he finds that his little (younger) brother snuck out and goes to Janus to find him, not because he thinks Janus is hot and charming or anything. But Janus is trying to find Remus. When they realize what both of them missing means, they team up to find them before something happens. But they find a lot more along the way than they expected
---
Patton wasn't a dad, but that didn't stop him from checking in on his younger brother every night as if he were one! Sure Virgil was out of college and didn't need to be babied, but it was just a habit at this point, especially when he was working so much!
It was just about 1 in the morning when Patton knocked on his door. Virgil was usually awake but if he were sleeping that was okay for Patton. Since there was no answer, he decided to peek inside just to make sure he was sleeping soundly.
Patton's heart stopped. The room was empty and the bed was made. Virgil didn't have to work the next day but he had such a long day earlier. He didn't have plans either. And his window was open! He never left his window open!
Patton ran and grabbed his coat and shoes. If his baby brother was in trouble there would be hell to pay! And he knew just the place to look for trouble—the one place where he would find the one man who made his heart race and his head spin.
---
Janus was in a hurry. His roommate was missing and couldn't be trusted alone. Remus was a wild thing with a knack for finding trouble. Janus was all for destroying the establishment, but he was not interested in dealing with a lawsuit when he couldn't work on it.
He was just slipping on his shoes when the intercom buzzed. Knowing Remus forgot his binder, it would make sense he forgot his key. The little imp was in big trouble!
"Remus!" he snapped as he answered the call, "I swear to whatever god tolerates you, I will skin you alive if you ever pull this stunt again!"
"Well hello to you too!" Patton scoffed back. Janus felt his stomach drop twice. First, that wasn't Remus, second, he just delivered a very real threat to Virgil's protective and adorable older brother.
"Isn't it a bit late for a Sunday night stroll?" Janus jeered, "I would love to accompany you, but I have to be going."
"Not until you tell me where Virgil is!" Patton snapped.
"He's not working?" Janus asked incredulously.
"No. His window was wide open and I would have seen him leave through the door! He's gone!"
Janus dropped the call and raced out of the apartment. Both of them were missing? He had to hurry before the apocalypse started or worse.
He exited the building and stepped on to the stoop, not at all surprised to see Patton glaring at him. He was too cute when he was angry.
"Where. Is—?"
"If I knew I would tell you. Unfortunately I don't have that information. Now if you don't mind, I have to find Remus," Janus said hurriedly and stalked off. He knew where Remus liked to hang out. He didn't know that Patton was not letting him walk away.
"Why would you have to find Remus?" he asked with some venom in his voice, "Virgil is missing!"
"As is Remus. Honestly, Patton, Virgil is far scarier than anyone who would think of taking him. Maybe he wanted to get out for some peace and quiet after working so much. And maybe doors are just too mainstream for him. Did you see his car while you were pulling out of the driveway?"
"No but—"
"Then he left of his own accord. He's not involved with drugs or arms dealing, he's a warehouse worker who worked double shifts for the past month. Remus is the real problem here, a trans ball of energy and bad ideas. Now if you don't mind, I am only focused on finding a menace."
"His car—Remus—" Patton gasped after a beat of silence.
"Exactly. Unless you want to be an uncle so soon, I suggest you shift your focus on finding Remus and not blaming me for a kidnapping that never happened."
Patton fell in step with him and pouted. Sure Janus had some sketchy ideas but he really wasn't that bad. He was smart and funny and kind to those he cared about. He worked at the soup kitchen and he even took in Remus after his parents kicked him out. Not to mention he was charming and so very handsome.
He had a set jaw and the most hypnotic heterochromia. He always carried himself with grace and his smile was twice as gorgeous as his scowl. From the curve of his nose to the burn scar on the left side of his face, Janus was alluring and mysterious.
"Studying for when you need to describe your assailant to the police? Janus teased, snapping Patton back to reality.
"No! I was just thinking, my car is just around the corner. It would make things faster."
----
Patton had never felt more out of place than he did here. Sure Janus lent him his coat, but Patton knew that he did not belong here in his heart. But it was the perfect place to find his brother.
"Just keep quiet and let me handle this," Janus said as they walked along the grass towards the overpass that crossed a long-since dried up creek. It was the number one place for local goths to gather and blast techno music without complaint.
Patton grabbed Janus' arm and stayed as close to him as possible. He didn't dare look at anyone for too long, except for one man who looked like he should be somewhere else. He was wearing jeans and a leather jacket and sunglasses. That was the one person Janus was locked onto.
"Oh dear, did you mistake this for your Starbucks? I know it's a dump but I thought you knew better!" he taunted. The man lowered his sunglasses and pouted at him.
"Boo, don't play! You know I always come on Saturday to spin some discs!"
"It's been ages since I've been here, and I'm afraid I have more pressing matters to attend to, Remy."
"Gotta find a good make out corner? You're better off in your car!" Remy jeered and eyed Patton knowingly. Patton shrank into himself and tried to hide his blush. Janus seemed to preen at the insinuation, and Patton did not know how to feel about that.
"Actually, I'm looking for Remus and Virgil," Janus said flatly.
"Booby boy and the Stache? They left an hour ago—decided eating food was better than eating face. You might want to check the bar, but keep your beau away from the booze, Boo!"
"Booby boy?" Patton questioned.
"Yeah, that man has some nice muscle tiddies—and muscle—I would so tap that if he were down!" Remy gushed. Janus winced as Patton clawed his arm and tried to hold his tongue. No one talked about his baby brother like he was a piece of meat!
"Thank you for that oh so necessary information, Remy. While I would love to stay and hear you drool over men out of your league, we have serious business to attend to," Janus droned and led Patton back to the car while Remy sputtered behind them.
"I apologize for him," Janus sighed when they were no longer in sight. Patton let go of his arm and shook his head.
"You didn't know he would be here, right? Then it's okay."
"You're shaking, Patton. Are you more upset about his commentary about Virgil or that he thought you would ever fall for the likes of me?"
"You don't have to be mean to yourself. I'm more upset that he thinks he can talk about my brother like that!"
"I can assure you that Virgil has shut him down and up every time I've seen them in the same place. He's not a threat, just vocal."
"Words hurt. Let's just get out of here," Patton huffed and got in the car.
----
"So," Janus hummed as Patton drove from the last bar in town, "Why did you come to me when Virgil went missing? He and I don't have the best relationship these days."
"I thought you might be hiding him or holding him for ransom or something," Patton said, keeping his eyes on the road, not really paying attention to what he was saying. He missed the flash of hurt crossing Janus' features for a brief moment. He was too stressed out to notice since they had gone all over town and the nearby ones with no luck, and every time someone asked how he landed such a suave boyfriend, or how Janus caught such a cutie! Patton was at his wit’s end!
"Ransom? Why would I need the money? I am an established lawyer dedicated to civil court cases, and I get paid well. Unless you think I would use him as a bargaining chip for something else. I have a few ideas, mind you."
"Ideas?" Patton asked and glanced at him and his smug smirk.
"Oh yes, but I have no reason to share considering kidnapping is far too extreme. There are better ways to get what I want. But you already knew that. So why did you come to me if I have no reason to kidnap or hide him, and you know I wouldn't be the first person to jump and go looking for him?"
The silence that filled the car was deafening. Janus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and fought the urge to smile. Patton was tense, gripping the wheel tightly, and his face was flushed.
"You don't have an answer, do you?" Janus jeered.
"You're infuriating!" Patton huffed and turned into a parking lot. He needed a minute to cool down. He turned off the car and groaned.
"Hmm? Well it's part of the charm, Daffodil," Janus hummed and examined his gloves, "Wait until you hear my pick-up lines and see just how infuriating I really am."
"What makes you think I want to hear that!?" Patton whined, "My brother is missing and everyone thinks we’re dating and now I’m stuck in a car with you and no clues!"
"I don't have to be here, you invited me to come with you. And if you don't want to hear it, I won't say anything. Honestly it's like you want me to be the villain when you know I'm a decent person. It hurts."
"Isn't that how you want people to see you?"
"Some people. But not my clients, children, my mother, my friends, or you."
"I—" Patton froze and tried to form the right words, but seeing Janus so wounded made it hard to say what he was thinking: I don't see you as the villain, just the hero who'll move on when he's bored with boring old me.
"If you want, you can drop one of your lines, or I can make it up to you some other way if you want," Patton wilted. Janus let out a humorless snort and shook his head.
"Darling, all I want is to slow dance in our kitchen every night until we can't stand anymore," he said with the most gentle tone Patton had ever heard. He almost wished Janus meant it.
"Jan—"
"There's your line. Let's move on before I let my feelings get in the way," he huffed and stared out the window, scanning the horizon. A specific building caught his eye but he said nothing. He needed a moment.
Patton put the pieces together. He reached out and cupped Janus' scarred cheek, guiding him to meet his own gaze.
"Sweetie, I want to kiss you before work and then when you get home, just to say hello."
"I think that can be arranged," Janus said with a soft smile, "but that treatment is reserved for my boyfriend."
"I think that can be arranged," Patton giggled, "in exchange for a kiss, maybe?"
"After we find the gremlins," Janus teased, "And I have one last idea where to look."
---
They pulled up in the abandoned movie theater lot, with the lights off and spotted Virgil's car. Quietly they crept closer, listening for any signs of distress. Once they were close enough to the car, they could see the pair cuddling in the back seat through the windshield. The only oddity was that Remus was wearing Virgil's hoodie.
"I would crawl through hot coals and nails naked on my belly—" they heard Remus say.
"I would rip out my tongue and tie it around the cartilage from my nose—" Virgil countered and booped his nose.
"I would eat a thousand live scorpions—"
"I would stand in a vat of stomach acid—"
"I would kiss you everyday even after you're just bones—"
"I would kiss every inch of you until my lips fall off to show you how much I love you."
"You can do that now," Remus giggled, "But don't take off the ring! I don't ever want to take it off!" Virgil laughed through his nose and nuzzled the little imp.
Janus and Patton backed away slowly. So it was a date. And Virgil proposed. That was far from expected. Then again, he and Remus were closer than anyone either had met. Janus swore Patton was crying.
"Would you like me to drive?" Janus asked when they reached the car. Patton shook his head.
"I need a minute. My little brother is all grown up and engaged! I'm happy for him! That's why he was working so much!"
"You just wish you could have had the same thing first."
"Don't read me while I'm emotional," Patton huffed. Janus took his hand and brought it to his lips.
"I'd like to call it 'understanding and empathizing with my boyfriend' instead," Janus hummed, "We can't all fall in love with our high school sweethearts, and that's okay. I know you of all people will find your man."
"You just wish you could be that man," Patton giggled, making Janus blush, "And maybe that can be arranged later."
"While that's in the works, could I interest you in joining me for a late dinner?"
"Only if it's a date!"
"I'd think you would want more out of a meal than a single date," Janus teased, "And I know a diner with a fantastic apple date pie."
"I'd like that," Patton said and kissed his cheek, "Let's go."
#sanders sides#moceit#patton sanders#janus sanders#remus sanders#virgil sanders#dukexiety#ftm!remus#mild gore mention tw#sandyscribed
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
One Faithful Night
Summary: Janus finds himself strangely attracted to a stranger at a bar and, before ling, they end up talking the night away.
Or: Janus is the definition of gay panic.
Pairing: romantic Moceit
Writing prompts: "I don't know what you're doing to keep me so drawn to you, but cut it out." and awkward/unintentional touch
Warnings: mentions of wine and alcohol, kissing.
Word count: 1,324
He's been staring for too long.
Janus was sitting on the stool by the bar, mindlessly sipping his wine… and staring at the man sitting by one of the tables across the room, smiling wide as he chatted away with his friends.
For some reason, despite him not being at all Janus' type, his eyes refused to move away from him, as if he's the only thing worth looking at in this crowded establishment.
Which is ridiculous at best, so sappy Janus might vomit on the spot. He is not attracted to this silly, cat-hoodie-wearing man, not at all.
It's probably the wine, clouding his judgment and making him think strange thoughts. He tries, once again, to tear away his eyes from the man's eyes, framed by a pair of square glasses… as if the man didn't look ridiculous enough. So why on earth is he so drawn to him?
Hopefully those feelings will pass by quickly, a strange crush is probably the last thing he needs right now.
Their eyes meet.
Janus freezes on the spot, as if somebody pressed pause on his entire body, and the man's curious smile towards him did not help at all.
To Janus' absolute horror, the man seems to mumble an excuse to his friends, gets up, and starts walking towards him.
Panic growing in his chest, making his heart rate pick up with every inch the man walks towards him. And then, faster than he realized it, he's right next to him, a kind smile plastered in his face that reaches all the way to his eyes.
His eyes… deep blue and mesmerizing.
Oh god! What in the world has gotten into him?
"Hello!" The man says cheerfully, complete with a little wave despite there being not much space between them. Which Janus was very aware of.
Janus swallowed, trying hard to regain his composure. "Hi." Was all he managed.
"Sorry to interrupt but, you look rather lonely. Do you want to maybe join us? Love the hat by the way." The man smiled at him, a tinge of worry in his eyes that made Janus' chest ache a little for some reason.
"Ah…" Janus said smoothly.
The man chuckled when he didn't continue. "I can just sit with you if you're too shy." He sat down, not waiting for a response.
Janus wanted to laugh, shy? Him? But his body still refused to move a single muscle, so he just sat there like a frozen statue as the man sat on the empty stool to his left.
"I'm Patton!" He said, still cheery, as though he had an endless source of cheerful energy within him. He offered his hand for Janus to shake, and all he could do was stare at it.
What happened to him? If he was anywhere near like himself, he would have walked away after proudly roasting the man for his terrible fashion choices by now. But there he was, completely frozen, mind a jumbled mess.
"Are you okay?" The man suddenly asked, cheerfulness gone from his voice, replaced by kind, sympathetic worry that made Janus want to break down and cry his heart out on his chest.
Janus cleared his throat in another desperate attempt to regain at least some of his remaining dignity.
"I'm… Janus." He finally managed to say, well, that's progress at least.
The ma- Patton relaxed, his smile returning. "Nice to meet you, Janus. Do you come here often?"
Janus' eyes drift back to the table Patton left to come here. "Aren't your friends going to get worried?" Janus asked since it looks like Patton is planning to stay with him for a while.
Patton turned around to look at the table as well. "Oh shoot! You're right, maybe I should go back, Virgil gets worried fairly easily I wouldn't want-"
"Don't go!"
The words were out of Janus' mouth before he realized it. Loud and full of sheer panic and Janus' cheeks deepened in color.
"Ah… I mean um… you can just text them and um… maybe stay for a while but… only if you want I mean I-"
Patton chuckled softly, Janus would have felt as if he's making fun of him, but something about the softness of his chuckle made him think better of it. "I don't mind staying, let me just ease Virgil's concerns and I'll be right with you." He flushed Janus a dazzling smile before whipping out his phone and typing for a while.
Janus took the time, now that he's close, to study his face. Patton has warm, inviting features, wrinkles next to his eyes that indicate he smiles more often than not, nose curved in a smooth wave and… soft, full lips.
At that Janus' whole face turned a bright red and he turned away before Patton could see. He grabbed his wine glass and golped the rest down eagerly.
Get a grip, Janus!
"Aaand there! I'm all yours." Patton said cheerfully and Janus turned back to face him, hoping his blush had died down a bit by now.
"So, Janus." Patton began with a smile. "Tell me about yourself."
Nervously, Janus did. He's not the type to quickly open up to strangers, even strangers he found strangely attractive. But Patton is like no one he's ever met. Janus has no idea how he does it but, it's just so easy to talk to him, being around him just makes you want to spill out everything, tell him your darkest secrets… and maybe the alcohol loosened his tongue a bit more than usual too, but mostly it was Patton's warm and understanding presence.
The hours ticked by as they chatted, at one point Janus faintly remembers Patton's friends going over to them before they left to wish him good night. Until, eventually, they needed to start closing up the establishment.
"Well, that's our queue to leave I guess, is your place far? Do you want me to drive you there?" Patton said as he got up from the stool.
Before responding, Janus tried to jump off the slightly tall stool himself, but ended up losing his balance, tumbling to the ground until-
Someone caught him, Janus opened his eyes, which he closed a moment ago as he awaited his impact with the cold floor, and saw Patton's worried face right above him… and very close.
Janus was very aware of Patton's hand holding his waist to keep him from falling, of his hot breath ghosting along his already warm cheeks… and his lips, very close to his own.
"Wow there! Are you alright?" Patton asked softly, his genuine concern causing a warm feeling to blossom in Janus' chest.
"I don't know what you're doing to keep me so drawn to you, but cut it out." Janus heaved, trying hard to fight the overwhelming urge to pull Patton down and press his lips to his own.
Patton smiled. "Oh? Why should I?"
Janus swallowed visibly. "What?"
Patton's smile widened. "I mean, if it draws someone like you to me…" he grinned at him. "Why should I stop?"
Without much thinking, Janus drew closer, hooking his finger at Patton's collar and pulling him even closer. Patton's breath hitched in his throat and his cheeks warmed.
"Patton?" Janus heaved, breath coming in ragged gasps at the close intimacy.
"Y-yes, Janus?" Patton swallowed, gazing down at Janus' lips.
"May I kiss-"
He didn't get to finish as Patton's lips connected with his and he melted. His lips were just as warm as any other thing about him, personality and physically wise, and just as inviting.
They reluctantly broke apart to catch their breaths. Patton looked at him with something that looked like owe and Janus' cheeks got even warmer… somehow.
Smiling, Patton resettled Janus on his feet and took his hand, leading him outside and into his car. And Janus thanked whoever was responsible for both of them being here tonight.
#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides#moceit#romantic moceit#accidental meeting#cw kissing#cw alcohol#patton sanders#janus sanders#Lily writes#one shot
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
1
Warnings: miscommunication, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending
Characters: logan, virgil, roman, remus, background janus and patton
Romantic pairings: endgame romantic logan/virgil/remus, established queerplatonic moceit, established romantic roceit
Summary: logan has had a crush on his coworkers, virgil and remus, since he started working at the aquarium. despite constant egging on from remus's brother roman and their agent janus, logan refuses to act on his feelings because there's no way they like him back . . . is there?
(OR: roman and remus are mer, logan and virgil are aquarium employees, Everyone Is Gay, and shenanigans ensue)
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been horribly deprived of moceit content
It's just the classic moceit fic of "janus can't control his body temp so him and patton cuddle" but with a slight twist
Because... Both frogs and snakes are cold blooded
Hope you enjoy
The two layed in a mountain of blankets of varying textures, thickness and colors, in a large bed, their only light being the window next to them. This was never meant to happen, the two where relatively close, occasionally having conversation and comforting each other when they need the other, Janus was just complaining that he couldn't regulate his body temperature, and even though they lived in Florida, it was extremely cold outside, to the point it was snowing, and as if it were nothing Patton just offered to go snuggle under some blankets together, Janus was… flustered to say the least, trying his best to hide the half of his face that was dusted with a light pink, although it was sudden… it wasn't despised. So there they played together under multiple upon multiple blankets
"God you're lucky!"
Patton sat up, adjusting the blankets to still be firmly around him, he looked at janus quizzically "what do you mean?"Janus turned to him confused with a slightly judgmental look "what do you mean what do I mean? I'm not the one who can't regulate their body temperature, you get to actually enjoy winter!" Patton let out a small laugh "When was that established?"
Janus sat up as confused as ever "so this whole time, you've-" "yep!" Patton nodded his head, voice and expression as if this was a well known thing. Janus stared at him in disgust, "I haven't tried to hide it kiddo!" Patton chirped, Janus sighed and later back down
"dammit" Janus slumped back into the covers
Patton giggled "what is it this time?" Janus his his face under the blankets "now I'm not the center of attention anymore and I have to actually care about you!" Patton hummed in acknowledgment, sliding back into the covers spooning Janus, placing his head under his, lightly kissing Janus' jaw "How's that for attention?" Patton whispered, Janus thought "... It will suffice." Patton smiled "do you need anything? More blankets?" he asked, as they where both under a mound of every blanket the could find in the apartment "I'm fine, How about you!" Janus said dramatically, Patton laughed "I'm fine.", Janus turned to him, their lips inches away from each other, Janus quickly kissed Patton
"No you're not, you're still freezing."
20 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
crazymaximoo-blog
Max Draws
lheshaml
HESHAM
withspaces
I don’t know
pureastrologywisdom
PureAstrologyWisdom
sorrynotsorryboutwhatshesaid
blue skies and sunshine