#fantasy high sophomore year you were everything to me
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the most beautiful moment in all of dungeons and dragons when emily axford as fig pulls riz aside and asks him if he’s okay with people constantly having to look at a picture of his late father. just this imaginary prop that everyone had gotten used to as a mechanic and a clue suddenly becoming so much more than that again. and murph as riz saying, oh. thank you, because now he’d been reminded too.
#i will literally never forget this moment#fantasy high sophomore year you were everything to me#emily axford is truly the best dnd player ever#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#d20 spoilers#fantasy high spoilers
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kim taehyung fic rec list (Ⅴ)
hello everyone i know it's been a while since i posted, work has been hectic, but i got some time and managed to finish a list so please enjoy i have a few lists ready to post so i'll que them up... here's my all time favourite taehyung fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message or feedback under their posts i know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed you will be blocked ♡ feel free to recommend me some fics or just share what your reading right now i'd love hearing from you 🖤✨
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
series
only here to sin by @gimmethatagustd s a ft. namjoon
When your genius of a boyfriend returns to Harvard for his sophomore year of college, you never would have expected to have his worst enemy keeping you entertained in his absence.
our gray winter by @vyduan s a ft. jjk
“Were you looking for this?” Taehyung asked as he handed you the box of tampons you always bought. He remembered. You wanted to sink into the floor and die. Instead, you recalled your manners and said, “Thanks.” You put the box in your basket. “I can’t believe you remembered.” He beamed at you. It was patently unfair how he could look all glowy and soft while you looked… not like that. “Of course, Y/N.” If possible, Taehyung’s voice dropped even lower. “I remember everything about you.”
schemes and tricks to win her heart by @crystaljins ft. ksj
Rich company heir Kim Seokjin has a plan to win the heart of the girl of his dreams, and you, his little brother’s best friend, are dragged along for the ride. His younger brother objects, of course.
camboy!tae by @hisunshiine f s a
Give me all of your love, gimme something to dream about. KTH is your favorite camboy, and as a loyal subscriber, you are chosen to test out some new features on the platform he uses to go live. He’s really good at selling his viewers a dream, and as a thanks to a new milemark he’s hit on the platform, he’s choosing one winner to get their fantasy scene.
tolerate it by @archivedkookie s a
Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.
what was hidden by @daechwitatamic s a ft. myg
This is how it all starts: Taehyung is flunking Western Lit. You're assigned to tutor him. His paper on Strindberg's The Ghost Sonata could pass or fail him for the semester. As you and Taehyung slowly become friends, then more, you learn that there's a lot more to him than you originally assumed. Together, you navigate your own experiences with the play’s themes: one's "true self" versus one's "shown self", darkness behind the facade, and how people can be quite literally haunted - and it has nothing to do with ghosts.
complete faith by @daechwitatamic
It’s Taehyung himself who admits that it’s usually around the one-month mark that he starts to lose interest in his relationships. So even though you’re so drawn to him you can barely stand it, even though he’s attentive and funny, even though you’re helplessly crazy about him… when you start dating, you feel like you’ve got an expiration date from day one. But will it be Taehyung’s issues that get in the way, or your own?
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. jjk
it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
with a brush of fate by @yoongiofmine f s a
Your roommate was sure she found you the perfect man. Her boyfriend believed he found Taehyung’s soulmate. The only problem was that you never wanted to date an idol and he never wanted to drag you into this life. Taehyung didn’t even know what he wanted anymore and was tired of being criticized for simply growing up. You just wanted to finish university and do something for yourself. What started out with the meddling of your friends became something neither of you expected. Could the two of you be what the other is missing? Or would things just fall apart?
groovy by @kinktae f s a
Even in the 70s, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t have feelings for your best friend’s little sister.
tempting by @/kinktae s a
Y/N is an angel. She steers clear of the seven deadly sins, especially lust. She runs into a demon but, luckily for her, that demon doesn’t seem to buy into that whole “Angels and Demons are sworn enemies” idea. But unluckily for her, he just so happens to be the very embodiment of sin. Especially lust.
talk by @gukslut f s a
Finals week is kicking your ass, thank goodness you have a friend to help you relieve some stress. It’s a great arrangement, as long as no one finds out... as long as you don’t catch feelings. What could go wrong?
somebody to love by @cutechim
kim taehyung wins the heart of everyone he meets, and you—his self-proclaimed work “nemesis”—are not an exception.
tear you apart by @bratkook s
I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear, ‘I wanna fucking tear you apart.’ demon au
clairevont by @/bratkook f s a ft. jjk
The second year of college starts off with a bang until you find yourself tangled in between your fuck buddy Kim Taehyung and his innocent room mate Jeon Jungkook.
free use by @littlemisskookie f s a
You tell your crush you want him to have full control of you in every way always. He obliges.
lost myth of truelove by @sugalaritae f s a
for six months you wait for him, a weekend spent together, finally able to reach the man your soul is tethered to.
because of you, blue by @ugh-yoongi f s a
nearly a year out from your breakup with taehyung, jin begs you for help saving his failing restaurant. the two of you aren’t exactly friends, but you feel some stupid sense of obligation and, really, what’s the worst that could happen?
true love by @jjkeverlast f s a
in which you're face to face with your ex again after 5 years, because both of your friends start dating each other.
obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash s a
The world of magic is divided into dark and light, witches and warlocks, choice and fate. You’re a prodigy of light, a witch who works within the police force. You’ve heard of Taehyung in passing, spoken in whispers as the warlock of dark who has the world holding it’s breath. All this changes on the night you’re assigned as security for a mysterious singer named V and you come face to face with Taehyung himself. What happens after that might be fate.
baby, baby by @hobiwonder ft. pjm f s a
When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
entangled by @caelesjjk ft. jjk s a
He saved your life twice. But he’s also been your sweet lab partner in college for the past two years and now someone who is more than just a friend. You care about him…maybe even love him. But something tells you that you aren’t quite sure what love even is. How could you when you have feelings for someone else as well. Kim Taehyung is the handsome stranger you’ve seen around campus and somehow ended up dancing with at Club Onyx. You were upset that Jungkook had stood you up once again and Taehyung made you feel like you were on top of the world. What you didn’t know that night, is the dark secret Taehyung is trying desperately to hide, but the closer the two of you get the more difficult that becomes.
buzzed by @junqkook f s a
maybe ordering a vibrator and letting your best friend open your mail wasn’t such a great idea.
queen cobra by @fantasybangtan f s a
when your boss offers the chance to take down the nation’s most lucrative gang from the inside out, you know you’ll do it no matter what the cost… even if that means entering an arranged marriage with the kingpin himself.
pulse by @rohobi f s a
You fell in love with Kim Taehyung during Medical School. Now living totally different lives in completely different hospitals, you're pulled together again as if by fate during a code black when someone plants a bomb in your hospital.
things we don't say by @wintaerbaer f s a
Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.
mars by @to-star-lake s a
ahistorical au, military au, yandere!taehyung
satisy by @suga-kookiemonster f s a
“listen,” taehyung says, eyes wide and eager as he smiles at you. “i figure we can just help each other out. i scratch your back, you scratch mine.” but when you find yourself suddenly in need of a massive favor, exactly how much scratching are you willing to do?
no kisses by @icedmatchatae f s a
It's championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you're forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious "no kisses" rule.
beyond desire by @strwberrytae s a
it’s never easy falling for your best friend when you have so much history. it’s especially difficult when you both share the same sexual desires and lifestyle. taehyung is a dominant CEO of a well known company in Seoul and you are an up and coming editor. while both of you come from a troubled and dark past, you lean on each other for support and comfort. what happens as your feelings blossom and grow over the years? what happens when you fear taehyung may be falling in love with someone else? will you confess your feelings or remain in the shadows?
one-shot
crazy for you by @oddinary4bts f s a
you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?
seventeen times 17 by @cutaepatootie f s a
You loved him Seventeen Times 17.
ten out of ten by @shadowkoo f s a
For the past three years, Kim Taehyung has made it his mission to annoy you relentlessly on campus, finding every possible way to drive you up the wall during your shared classes. However, as you both enter your senior year, something strange happens. Taehyung begins to sense a shift in his energy, realizing he might just have some secret feelings for you. What unfolds when you make this earth-shattering discovery too?
under wraps by @jungkxook f s
there’s nothing you and taehyung seem to hate more than each other - except for christmas. having recently been dumped by your (now ex) boyfriend only seems to make this holiday even worse. but when taehyung suggests that you should pretend to be dating each other to save you both the embarrassment, pity, and bothersome questions from family and friends alike for a fun carefree month of celebrations, you can’t possibly say no.
always the bridesmaid by @kookingtae f s a
When you first meet Kim Taehyung, you’re determined to find every reason you can to hate him—or maybe he’s just looking for ways to get on your last nerve. But when a turn of events has the two of you working the wedding of the man you’re hopelessly in love with, you’re too late to realize the real reason to hate Kim Taehyung is because of the latest column he’s secretly writing: “Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride”, and it’s all about you.
any way you want it by @noteguk s
in which your best friend, Taehyung, finds out about your unsatisfying sexual experiences and decides to put an end to that track record himself.
sharing is caring by @jjkpls f s ft. pjm
Taehyung is taken aback when his soulmate, Jimin, introduces his new girlfriend to him. Jimin tries to help them break the ice.
the end of all things (and the beginning of us) by @/kidguk f s a
the end of the world has come and passed, but there is still much to live for. there’s hope, there’s tomorrow, and there’s that guy you met while scavenging for supplies in an abandoned cinema. turns out he hates being alone, and the feeling is mutual.
aberrant by @kth1 f s
Meeting a handsome and rare fox hybrid was the last thing you had expected in a world of coexisting hybrids. What you also hadn’t expected was how this fox found a liking to you, showed up randomly at places where you were and next thing you knew - you were falling, hard, for the man.
lost in you by @/jjkeverlast f s a
the infamous kim taehyung, campus fuckboy and heartthrob is much more than you thought after an unexpected night.
the dinner date by @diortae f (ao3)
pretending to be on a date with your best friend to get a free meal at the fancy restaurant jeongguk works weekends at doesn’t sound so terrible, all things considered. there’s just one small problem: you’re pretty sure you’re in love with the aforementioned best friend.
until yesterday by @jimlingss f s a
You and Taehyung are hopeless as you are hopeless romantics. But five months after tying the knot and saying "I do", you're hospitalized after a car accident with him. But upon waking up, the doctors tell you that you don't have a husband.
the forsaken by @yoonia s a ft. knj
In order to save your people from the danger of drought and hunger, your father had sent you out on a mission across the ocean to find the heart of nature that could bring back the prosperity which your land had long lost. As the Chief’s daughter, you took the mission as your responsibility, even if you had to let the man that vexes you the most join you in your journey, even if you had to ignore the Elders’ warnings about the dangers and all the vicious monsters lying in wait.
blacklist by @httpjeon f s a ft. jjk
after departing from your dom, you’re assigned to two incredibly powerful men.
1-800-music-street by @/httpjeon f s
↬you’re enchanted by a street performer and then he saves you, resulting in multiple meetings one can only describe as fate.
farner boy i love you by @strawberrynamjoon f s a
↬Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.
waterloo by @/kinktae f s a
↬Taehyung is a famous but pessimistic art prodigy who doesn't believe in love. You are an art student studying in Paris, who sees the world through rose-colored lens and is a certified cheesy romance film enthusiast. And this is your love story. Or, “Well, it is the city of love. Maybe you just need to fall in love."
get you the moon by @bymoonchild f s a
↬Life has its ways of fucking with you, but you know you’ve hit 50 feet below rock bottom after being tasked to do a profile feature on Kim Taehyung, the varsity football captain, for your school newspaper. Pure torment awaits you, but this is alongside glassy eyes, pink cheeks and conflicted feelings that you’ve never dared to imagine with the likes of the devil incarnate.
fate of the fast & furious by @prolixitae f s
↬you’re a first-generation college student and taehyung is the hot guy with a love for motorbikes who lands the job babysitting for your family while you’re away.
fast & fearless: what comes first by @/prolixitae
↬taehyung is used to earning his keep through illegal street races, and he’s got every reason to win that upcoming promise of prize money for an old friend. but when the odds don’t fall in his favor, he turns to babysitting. enter, you: a first-generation college student with too much to lose to be spending all your time with a troublemaking biker. who also happens to babysit for your kid brother.
cobalt blue by @hobivore s ft. jjk
↬you ask Jungkook to draw you like one of his French girls.
let it snow by @/suga-kookiemonster f s
↬it all started by accident, but it continues by choice—even before you began sleeping together, things with your friend taehyung have always been comfortable and easy. simple, and this new arrangement between you is certainly no exception to that rule. well...that's definitely what you thought before a major snowstorm traps the two of you in his apartment over the holidays. now? now, it is quickly becoming apparent that things are a bit more complicated than you realized.
muse by @/suga-kookiemonster f s
↬this could finally be tae’s big break, but he’s nervous and struggling to find inspiration. luckily, you’re willing to support him in all ways necessary.
falling, falling gone by @johobi f
↬Taehyung. Captain of the soccer team. Master of your heart. You'll never tell him for fear of rejection. So why the fuck are you about to do it in front of dozens of his peers?
new tricks by @geniuslab f s
↬When your newly adopted puppy turns out to be a lot more work than you expected, a cute dog trainer comes to the rescue. You soon become friends, but you begin to realize friendship might not be all you want.
guns & roses by @chateautae f s
↬he was cold-blooded, stone-faced and ruthless; a formidable force anyone in the criminal underworld sought to destroy. and he didn’t care, so long as it was never you.. anything but you.
saudade by @chateautae f s a
↬a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.
strands by @xjoonchildx s a
↬taehyung can't figure out how he got separated from his men, or how he ended up stranded in these woods -- hurt. the only thing he knows is that he has no choice but to rely on the beautiful, secretive stranger who's found him.
cheap skate by @/gukslut f s
↬Who doesn’t know Taehyung and his lady? Cutest couple in town, I’d say, and have been since they started dating in their college days. Oh, that was a while ago, though. And still, they’re happy as can be in that place they have together. Almost hate seeing one without the other, y’know, it’s like seeing just one testi- oh, right, I’m not supposed to talk like that. Anyhoo, I only say that because I saw Taehyung at a jewelry store the other day while I was buying my sweet Jiminie his presents. Maybe that boy’s finally gonna pop the question, but I do hope he’s got a good plan for it. Something sweet and romantic. Maybe I’ll find out after Jiminie gets back from that cabin he’s visiting.
definition of love by @taegularities f s a
↬When the gorgeous student from your literature class starts showing interest in you, you discover that there's much more to him than his know-it-all facade. But is this realization enough to get through your insecurities and secrets?
↬looking for other kth fics or the other members check out my library for more
#kiki's recs#moon's recs#kiki!fic!rec#taehyung#kim taehyung#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung fic recs#taehyung fanfic#taehyung fanfiction#bts fanfction#taehyung smut#taehyung angst#taehyung fluff#taehyung:smut#taehyung:fluff#taehyung:angst#taehyung x reader#taehyung oneshot#taehyung series#taehyung drabble#favourites!kth#taehyung fic#taehyung x you#taehyung bts
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the vibe im getting from FHJY is that this is the season where they really lean into the high school aspect. that probably sounds bonkers since its called Fantasy High, but like. hear me out.
Freshman year, they come at high school from the "John Hughes" "80s teen movie trope" vibe, which is to say different from the real-world experience of high school.
it works great! operating in that frame of reference makes everything flow really well, and hits all the high-school-related-media notes in a very satisfying way while putting its own spin on it and not getting bogged down by the actual slog that is high school in reality.
there's still a lot of more modern inspo, but it stays in the kinda expectation-suspension-tropey area of how 80s movie high school works.
Sophomore year is spring break! I believe in you! They're not at school! They're on an adventure!
They lean into being a teenager and coming-of-age themes a lot (obvs), but the only big reference point to the institution of high school is that it'll be worth 60% of their grade.
A huge point, to be sure, and the exact kind of objectively unfair but somehow not against the rules shit that happens in high school, but not the main driving force of the season.
arthur aguefort also does a bunch of wack shit but it's more fantasy than it is high school although its a lot of both.
they lean into adventuring as a set career path much more, with the school giving money for hirelings and offering a basic incentive for other students to go, so that's a loose connection to the real-world career counseling high schools have, but again, not the main thing.
VERY Important though: we are now very much in the present. The viral shrimp party, livestreaming Kalina, online banking, the epic of Gorgug building a cell tower? this isn't john hughes 80s town anymore, this is now. (at least in Solace).
Junior year
almost everything in the trailer is about academia
we've got the cool doodles-in-the-margins style art and intro
in the interviews and BTS (so far), the cast have talked a lot about what they were like in high school (not the 80s)
and the precedent that The Seven set where the MacGuffin was getting their GED? It's time.
we're getting into what is actually hell about high school - the institution itself. the arbitrary standards that academia in the US holds, and how it leaves behind, punishes, and fails its students in its extremely important role of preparing them for life as an adult.
i could talk about this all day, but personally for me the quote from the trailer that shot me back to my junior year of high school was "You have perfect grades, and it still might not be enough for you to graduate"
riz's arc this season is shaping up to punch me in the academia trauma and personally i can't wait for the catharsis
Brennan has shown time and time again that he Gets and wants to tell stories about the ways in which the US education system affects, hurts, shapes, traumatizes, changes people, and how they survive and recover from it and make their own lives. I for one am so so ready to see that reflected with the bad kids.
#original post#fhjy#fantasy high#fhsy#d20#dimension 20#dropout#brennan lee mulligan#look i just have a lot of feelings#and opinions about how people just accept that high school is hell and don't ask why? who benefits?#tbh evan kelmp being like 'this is tracking' is what made me first notice that like#brennan Knows what he's talking about and wants to talk about it#the seven really dove deep into it and I fuckin loved it
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I think it's disservice to both Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes to already start getting upset over the Rat Grinders. Because the season isn't over, we don't know what's going to happen next. Brennan has never struck me as the type to just allow for callous destruction when there is opportunity for redemption.
Often I remember the end of Neverafter. When everything is resolved and Snow White is practically inconsolable thinking about what might have happened if the plan she took part in had succeeded. What terrible consequences would have happened.
Fantasy High, I should also say, has always had a reputation of punishing the adults more than anyone else. And when it is a kid, it's usually someone like Penelope Everpetal, who was purely evil. In Sophomore Year, we mostly saw Adaine's parents get their comeuppance, which is as it should be. In Freshman Year, it was mostly Kalvaxis and Coach Daybreak. I feel like we're going to see Porter and Jace get the hurt on them for sure. And before anyone starts talking about Oisin and Ivy, remember again that the season isn't over. We know they were killed, but this is a universe with revivify spells in it. It ain't over til it's over.
These may be kids who were manipulated, but they still did horrible things. We don't know what redemption, if any, we're going to see in the finale. But what I do know is that Brennan and the IH are incredible storytellers and they will do what it takes to tell the best story possible within the confines of the actual gameplay.
And I dunno about you, but I am genuinely excited to see how episode 20 plays out!
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why jikook?
i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)
but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.
maybe a little background?
i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.
for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.
i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.
potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.
actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.
i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.
should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.
i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?
to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)
and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.
though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.
honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.
i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.
despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.
and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?
so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.
#jikook#kookmin#hi hello welcome to the personal jikook ted talk literally no one asked for#in this essay i
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Kalina Playlist Deep-dive
Kinda wanted to do a playlist deep-dive about all my Fantasy High playlists. If you want any more, I have playlists for all the Bad Kids, both Voxes, and I'm working on a Cassandra Playlist. Starting off with my baby girl, Kalina
ALICE:
I picture this as Kalina describing the fall of the Unnamed Goddess into the Nightmare King. A goddess of dreaming and doubt till she lost her mind, and her persona. Turned her forest into this idealization of what the Nightmare King represents.
Queen
Kalina's persona is this person manipulating everything in the background and several steps ahead of everyone. Also how the Bad Kids originally assumed she stole the crown to control the Nightmare King and be in power.
GRRRLS
Kalina's ideology is about taking control to bring back the Nightmare King by any means necessary. Not wanting people to look too closely into her.
&
It's like how Kalina always gives options when speaking to the Bad Kids, especially Riz. Also how each option and the tone get more threatening overtime. Also "They took a lesson from their fathers" connects to Riz and how she killed Pok.
The Mind Electric
I honestly don't remember why I added this? Vibes? Maybe it's another example of her trying to control Riz and the Bad Kids, taunting them and making them face their fears? Yeah, that's it, why not?
Achilles Come Down
Goes against my Kristen Playlist which has this same song. This is Kalina and Kristen deciding what Cassandra is going to be in FHSY. Kalina is the deeper voice and Kristen is the kinder one.
Church
Kalina's loyalty to Cassandra and more religious imagery for her connection to Cassandra. Plus the line "Time capsule for the future, trust me that is what I'll be" is how she lives on for the Unnamed Goddess as the plague for her to live. Also "Oh the things that you do in the name of what you love, you were doomed but just enough" is her talking about how her goddess was doomed by her followers, the people who loved her. Also, the second section of the song says "Got a few more fake friends" showing her connections over the years she keeps at arm's distance like Pok Gukgak.
Child of Ashes
I picture this as Kalina singing to the Bad Kids, willing to show them mercy as long as they back off this case.
Hawk in the Night
I see this as her talking to Riz because she is still close to him. She's his godmother, she wants to see him grow strong but it's not the best advice.
You Stabbed Me in My Sleep
My Love is Sick
Kalina is literally a plague, what can I say? Just kidding, it's that and all the religious imagery. The loyalty to the person is like Kalina's loyalty to Cassandra in all her forms. Plus I love Madds Buckley so much. <3
Ghost
Kalina's abilities appear and disappear, along with taunting the Bad Kids and messing with them on their journey. Her confidence, knowing they hate her and why right before the bridge. Plus during the Bridge where the artist says "Why don't you just leave me alone" I see Riz and other Bad Kids begging her to stop with this, stop messing with them.
It Took Me By Suprise
Her being is surprised that the BKs didn't back off, especially Riz after taunting him and seeing the anger in their eyes... thats it...
That Unwanted Animal
How I picture Kalina sees herself. She cares for Cassandra in every form and tries her best to take care of her. When the "Unnamed Goddess" sacrifices herself to be the Nightmare King, Kalina becomes the "Unwanted Animal".
Little Big Boy
Specifically for Fabian, when she makes him stab the Hangman and jump into the ocean.
Take Me To Church
Another song with religious notes to show her dedication to Cassandra and illness notes for her being a literal plague Sophomore Year.
the fruits
Another song with religious notes that I added for the vibes. Also, her being used to keep alive a goddess.
Allies or Enemies
Picked to show her relationship with the Bad Kids now in the present time. Also her new relationship with Cassandra as this new form.
Until It Doesn't Hurt
The pain of her being a plague and vibes.
If I Kill Someone For You
Another song is about Kalina sacrificing herself, and her identity to keep her Goddess alive, to bring her back. Sacrificing her livelihood, and her well-being to bring back the Nightmare King.
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
Final boss music and the end describes the battlefield of "Spring Break I Believe in You" where there is no light coming through the forest, the stairs and ruins where the battle is old and decrepit. "When they do I'll be right beside you, so glad we almost made it" is her speaking to herself/the Nightmare King as she brings them back to life.
Panic Room
Another song about the Nightmare King's Forest and how Kalina and the Nightmare King shaped the forest to have the deepest fears of the Bad Kids.
That's it! I hope yall had fun listening to me explain my thought process <3
#dimension 20#fantasy high#brennan lee mulligan#d20 fantasy high#d20#fhjy#kalina#kalina d20#dimension 20 playlist#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#cassandra dimension 20#madds buckley#pok gukgak#the shadow cat#Spotify
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Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and the Summer Breakdown
We need to talk about this episode because it. was. wild.
First things first: The remaining half of the Night Yorb battle? Wild! And those tactical late-comers? So tactical! So late! So wild!
Squeem is still alive! And so is Ecaf--but Fabian must never know.
What's more wild though is how Brennan is planting the seeds of discord and the Intrepid Heroes are all aware. You can see them filing things up in their minds and their notebooks. This isn't their first rodeo. But Brennan's voice is so soft and so kind and so calm--
But we mustn't trust Brennan. Because he is up to something that will break our hearts. That one BTS video with Emily Axford has planted something in me that makes me suspicious of everything Brennan says.
Each Bad Kid has their own establishing moments of where things are currently for them, and I am absolutely crushed at how things have turned for the worse. And I know most of the bad things are because of player decisions and keeping up with the season's overarching theme. Still doesn't make it less sad?
You know what else is sad? Sklonda's speech to Riz. It feels like a conversation Brennan had with his mom. It is fucking devastating.
And then we get to Kristen. I think we were all suspecting that things were not all sunshine and daisies because of how Kristen was acting--and not just because the Night Yorb blocked out the sun… but that conversation with Cassandra in the end? "Better than Yes" is not a great thing to hear from your god who has only two followers. Especially when she's presently getting hurt by something unknown…while being the goddess of the unknown.
Something is afoot.
Brennan is out to get us.
I don't trust that he would just let Gilear have a string of good luck. Especially since he's supposed to be the vice principal at Aguefort Academy.
Also: where is Cathilda?
And could Arthur Aguefort's stunt with the sun in Sophomore Year be the actual cause of the Night Yorb getting released?
One more thing: Sarah Barrios posted some behind-the-scenes for the Teenage Rebellion music video. It's worth a look.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 spoilers#Brennan Lee Mulligan
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.....fuck. Ok, so the simple answer is Cassandra's going Nightmare King. But that "she's at my side once more" thing gives me hope that this is something else and not entirely Kristens fault. Could be the Elf side of Galacaea reacting badly to the Wolf side gaining prominence and she's trying to grab for any piece of her old self to gain a controlling foothold. On the lighter side of things, Kristen believing she's a full-on actual political candidate and trying to give a speech to steel-workers was gut-bustingly hilarious. Less light-hearted, Adaine needs to stop attacking her financial woes as a teenager and start attacking it as a wizard adventurer. And lose the crap job, a 40% discount is not worth those 8 hours she's losing every shift. She can get a lot more done with that time. But she's a kid who's trying to solve this on her own instead of the common sense move of reaching out to adults who know more. Siobhan commits to the bit, I'll give her that. Bizarely, Gorgugs 400% course load is actually is the most solvable problem. Get Digby and Wilma to tutor him and help him speedrun through the Freshman and Sophomore material and then play catch-up on the Junior year material. He might have drop the Owl Bears, he needs those hours. Fig is killing it so hard in all her classes, it would be fucking hilarious if she's the Bad Kid who graduates as valedictorian. This one ran long, sorry about that.
OK, my quick thoughts on everything before I sit down to write this recap tomorrow (I finished my notes today--geez these JY eps are LONG):
Kristen: Wild that the thing Kristen has chosen to go all in on is her high school bid for class president and not *gestures vaguely* literally anything else. Funny, but wild. My best guess until we have more info is that this is an "As above so below" thing because the wizards getting ripped and aggressive is super random except for the fact that the main things that Kristen has been doing in the past few months is getting ripped and being aggressive to Cass. But we're working with incomplete info so we'll see.
Adaine: Girl, take Aelwyn's chest of rubies and sell it for cash and buy stuff with that! Or better yet, use your Oracle/general divination powers to figure out the lotto numbers/stock futures and exploit that! Honestly, even killing your mom is a better plan that working at Fantasy Auntie Anne's!
Gorgug: :( Hang in there buddy. It's wild when everyone else is dealing with kind fantasy problems--even Adaine's thing is tinged with Fantasy what with the absurdity of the items she needs to get--and Gorgug is just dealing with…a completely regular school problem. That's rough man. I personally feel like I'd try to join a club or something to show off my skills rather than doing it on the books if this requires a 400% course load but I hope he can make it work. Though, it would also be interesting for them to do a, "There's no shame in trying and failing," storyline because man that's just so much work and that's an important thing to learn.
Fabian: If you want Adaine to be at your party then give her some of your massive pile of gold so she doesn't have to work a crappy mall job. The girl is filtering gold flecks out of discounted booze and you know that because you're the one who gave her permission to do it. Either help her or don't be sulky when she can't make your shrimp party!
Fig: Fig as surprise valedictorian has the same energy as Annie realizing she and Shirley are neck in neck for the position even though Annie is the type A control freak (this is a Community ref for anyone who's like whomst?). That would be so funny. But also, it wouldn't be crazy! Fig was super preppy before she decided to be punk. I wouldn't be surprised if her grades were always good and she's also passionate about everything she does. If she wasn't set on sticking it to the man, she'd be so so so solid.
Riz: You didn't mention him but I wanted to give him a section anyway. Hi Riz :)
OK, that's it for now. Can't wait for next ep! (And no worries about this ask being long. I like getting long D20 Asks!)
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Hey! I saw your poll about which campaigns you were going to do quotes for and how you didn't include some campaigns because you didn't enjoy them that much and that just made me wonder-
If you are willing, can you rank the campaigns from your fav to least fave? I'm always curious what people think, so no judgement- just curious!
Yes! However, I will warn you- I have some... if not controversial, at least unpopular, opinions. This is a subjective, not objective list.
Burrow's End
Fantasy High
A Starstruck Odyssey
Fantasy High Sophomore Year
Fantasy High Junior Year
The Seven
Neverafter
Mentopolis
A Court of Fey and Flowers
Mice & Murder
Unsleeping City 2
Misfits & Magic
Unsleeping City
Escape from the Bloodkeep
Crown of Candy**
Dungeons & Drag Queens
Tiny Heist
Ravening War*
Coffin Run
Pirates of Leviathan
Shriek Week
*Up until this point, I loved every season, and even afterwards, I think they are all good objectively, I just didn't enjoy the genre or type of story
** Spoilers for COC Okay. I know I might be the only person in the world to not have COC in my top 5, but... it has nothing to do with the campaign and everythings to do with me. Stories like Game of Thrones make me deeply uncomfortable and stressed, and (SPOILER FOR COC) PC deaths are not something I handle well normally, and as someone whose most important people are my two sisters, any media with a sibling death is something I cannot consume normally. I think COC is a beautifully told story with amazing PCs, DMing, etc... and I regret watching it for my own mental wellbeing.
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dimension 20 seasons that I’ve watched, ranked(spoilers obviously):
A starstruck odyssey, without question my favorite. Basically every character in this went hard. The plot was fun, the hijinks were delightful, there were the moments that just hit the spot(the house always wins, ‘how did you know there was going to be a plinth in this fight’, beating up a guy and being like oh. that didn’t really do anything but we beat him up, snake eyes, and so many more), just the whole vibe of the season was off the charts.
the seven. I’ve probably laughed the hardest in my entire life while watching this season. It is second to starstruck simply by virtue of not being an intrepid hero season.
mentopolis. A city in a mind. The whole season takes place in about a minute or two. Dan FUCKS. Conrad Shintz, who is so sad and so funny. The fix, with his… fun… facts. Imelda Pulse, with a very high class air who will do the stupidest shit on a whim. Anastasia Tension, who has the most indescribable vibe. Hunch Curio, who will get into a fight with Fight itself. A conspiracy, a philosophical thing, a stolen birthday cake, truly this season had everything.
Misfits and Magic. I probably wouldn’t like this season if I was British, but I’m American so it’s funny when they make fun of British people. Nice how it works like that. The story about how friendship is a stronger tether than dark magic(where have I heard that before?), a story made in the setting created by a transphobe, where they proudly proclaim ‘fuck terfs’. Brennan plays a pc. Aabria dms. All is right with the world.
Burrow’s end. An all around fantastic season. An amazing cast. Brennan pc. Aabria dm. All is right with the world. They play stoats, hats are an important subplot, there’s meta themes about imperialism and colonialism. Also Shiobhan and Izzy play siblings.
fantasy high. With two and a half seasons, it’s one of the most well known. Freshman year is a solid 7/10. Sophomore year is a solid 8.5/10. Junior year isn’t finished yet, but so far it’s going strong. Some incredible bits came out of those seasons.
Neverafter, some cool themes were hinted at but never came to pass, most of the characters were good, but some didn’t really hit the mark, overall a decent season.
a crown of candy. King Lou! This season was good, I can see why other people might like it, but it wasn’t for me personally. Saccharina wasn’t the turn off, to be clear. She was a fine character and Emily deserved none of the hate.
unsleeping city. I know some of y’all really love it but idk it just isn’t that great. Sophie is an incredible character. Ricky Matsui my beloved. Very ok season.
also I didn’t finish acofaf but I got a couple episodes and and it was incredible. The secrets! The lords of the wing! K. P. Hob! I based on of my pcs on Hob, that’s how good he was(flint if my irl friends see this). Rue! Andhera and the duel between him and hob was so good. “Me, the slippiest boy?” Followed by just being yoinked. I would put this in the top three if I finished it, which I don’t intend to. I do consider it worthy of a top three spot, but i haven’t finished it so I’m just putting it down here as a footnote.
#dimension 20#Also more and more of my friends are getting tumblr now so the odds of them finding out that a Brennan pc was the inspiration for an oc#Is getting higher by the minute
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i know you said hopes had negative character development for the cast, but who do you think is better in hopes than in houses?
Better like in better writing, or better as in I appreciate them more?
Without a doubt, I'd say Felix and Sylvain who are better in Nopes than their FE16 versions, and in a way... Rhea herself, thanks to having more screentime when she isn't PTSD'ing lol
Call it chauvinism, but Sylvain in Nopes was scrubbed out of everything that made him... unlikable/feel flat in Houses.
His sob story about people only wanting to fuck him for his title/crest really felt... straight out ripped from some High School AU, with John McChad acting like an ass because the only girls who want to date him are interested in his situation as a heir of his dad's big company, and not because they love him. Yay. Great. Perfectly what I'm looking for in my medieval fantasy game where you whack people with swords.
Add to that the focus on crusts being the supposedly only reason why people are lusting over him - and not because, hey, you're a member of one of the most important noble houses in the Kingdom - to play in the general "crust bad" orchestra that can lead on the Supreme path, and the fact it's never ever adressed, and we have... this, which completely, to me, hides the other parts of Sylvain's character - like being someone who thinks outside of the box and resolves to lessen the reliance on his relic to defend the border by... creating a situation where they'll be no tension at the border, aka, a peace with Sreng.
Now, Sylvain works so well in Nopes partly because all of his "wah ladies only want my penis because i'm rich :'( " is erased, so we see a character who takes his duties as the heir of Gautier seriously, assists his Lord and friends and bring "new ideas" to help everyone. Sylvain, under his frivolous appearance and behavior, actually thinks and learns and suggests a lot of things that are quite useful, a bit like a "what if Sain wasn't only interested in courtship, but was raised as a future lord and had insight and suggestions on what to do". So sure, it's not as quirky and memorable as John McChad's sophomore year of school, but it fits better, imo, in the FE series.
As for Felix, well, it's more or less the same, his entire "duh boar bad chivalry bad and stupid - but wait no don't die and i'm sorry to have hit you dad i liked you but I was too busy playing the tsundere that I never got to say it to you before you died" schtick felt... old and annoying in FE16.
Sure, Felix can have his own, personal feelings about Dimitri being a hidden boar, but Felix is also the only heir of Rodrigue, and will become the next Duke Fraldarius, aka the second most important person in the Kingdom after the King himself, and the one tasked to protect it. Should Felix completely ignore his feelings and do what is expected of him, or take his role seriously? No, and Nopes has him give some "boar this, boar that", but Felix isn't a petulant 16 years old who wants to be "edgy" anymore, Felix is the next Duke - something he never shied away from, especially in his FE16 paralogue! - and has to start learning the job, thinking about Faerghus in something else than small jabs thrown at Dimitri and how to protect its people and second the King.
Heck, Felix's support in Nopes with Dimitri where Dimitri confesses about the ghosts, where Felix tries to carry him, the more or less cutscene where the general feeling is him saying to Dimitri he can count and rely on them... Given how FE16's Felix was written, even in AM, I can't see it happen before Rodrigue's death... and yet, in AG, Rodrigue is still alive (his optional death doesn't change those scenes), so when FE16's Felix realises there were more important things to do to help both his friend and country and dad but he only noticed it too late because he was too busy... being edgy, Nopes has him drop the edgy act (not completely drop it though, else it wouldn't be Felix anymore!) and act (lel) as his FE16 self, but only, without needing his dad to die first.
As for Rhea...
Having more screentime seriously helps, just like being allowed to talk about non plot relevant things with someone else than Billy or about Billy, I gushed a lot about the Nabatean paralogue, but it depicts her relaxing with her family (pissing on the "u r the only person i can talk to myself not the archbishop" pandering shit from FE16 even if FEH pissed on it first) and making tiny baby steps at apologising and confessing part of her guilt (for something completely stupid like Seiros the Warrior "borrowing" Cichol's shield to gift it to Willy!) to a member of her family.
Would that mean she would have confessed about the rez Sothis plan to Seteth earlier on? I... don't know, don't think so, and we don't have enough interactions between the two.
Compared to FE16 where she is an oyster until Billy turns green and Seteth nags her again and again and again, here she willingly makes the first step to apologise... sure, it's for something silly and not, resurrecting their mother, but it feels like a small progression (tiny baby steps) from FE16 where she has to be reveal stuff due to forced circumstances.
I also like how it sort of teases (or maybe that's just me lol) Seteth realising that Rhea still misses days long past to an unhealthy degree (tfw too much nostalgia), or just, having to remind her twice that those days are gone. Would he later realise her strange nostalgia hides something more deep, and ultimately her wish to "return" to those days by resurrecting Sothis?
idk, it's fuel for HCs and AUs, but for what it's worth, this paralogue and Nopes in general help flesh out Rhea more than what FE16 does, aka tying 80% of her mentions/appearances to Billy and Sothis.
(hell, in Nopes, she finally has lines with Flayn!)
#anon#replies#3 nopes#i confess i recently read fanfics about Faerghus and I'm just wondering why FE16 leaned so hard on the high school AU tropes#when written seriously and in the context we're only told about but never shown in game#those characters shine more?#Rhea is her own category lol#the Julia tier#when the plot drops the pandering she can finally interact with her network and acquaintances#in FE4 the pandering is towards Seliph#like seriously you want me to believe no one from Tine to the Jobros to Altena never heard about the Imperial Twins and Julius's sister?#Especially Tine who's supposed to be close to Ishtar?#but that plot point is completely dropped so Julia is just a waif with amnesia who befriends Seliph and Lana apparently#in this paralogue Rhea can finally talk to Flayn and Seteth for something else than plot related stuff#heck in her battle lines when you use her they all seem to be close Rhea even plays with Flayn#that's not the kind of stuff we could have had in FE16 bcs alone b4 u
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Is someone were to start watching dimention 20 . What series(?) would you reccomend n where ?
omg omg okay okay so i'd say there are so many different routes you can take depending on what genre you like!! this is truly so hard omg. i can start off by saying most seasons are on a subscription service called dropout which is the only subscription service i will be paying for in my life (unless you're counting a patreon as a subscription service), but they also have a youtube where they've released a couple full seasons.
i'm putting Escape From The Bloodkeep at the top because a) Villainous Found Family, b) free on youtube, and c) there's an NPC named J'er'em'ih. It's a Lord of the Rings knockoff from the perspective of the villains who are dorks and also queer. Found family to the max and so many bits.
i will be crunching this post because it is LONG! genres galore!
if you want Drama: A Crown of Candy is a Game of Thrones/Candy Land mashup. The Ravening War is the prequel. Both of them have a nonzero chance of making you cry and Do have permanent deaths. A Court of Fey and Flowers is the other drama but it's. queer Bridgerton with fairies. no angst many flowers and there's LETTER WRITING and a RUMOR PHASE
Coming Of Age: Fantasy High Freshman Year, Sophomore Year, Junior Year, and The Seven. While I think t7 is higher in quality than Freshman Year, you do need FY for context. either way, both feel as realistic as an adventuring school can be to an actual coming of age story.
Misfits and Magic is also a Coming of Age and an homage and just. a fabulous piece in general which I think is a GREAT introduction (if you have dropout)! it's a group of people going "how much can we poke fun at jk rowlings books bc we grew up on those but we Don't Like Her and actually her system is trash?" it's a smaller cast using the kids on brooms system, and, once again, it's queer and coming of age and found family. there's a wet cat of a man if that's what you need in your life.
Horror Seasons: Neverafter and Burrow's End are the two Overtly Horror seasons and they both pull it off very well. Neverafter is found family. Burrow's End is a literal family (of stoats) (not anthropomorphized, just plain stoats). they're Good Horror.
The Unsleeping City (Part I) is also very good. only filmed media that's made me cry. i can't speak to part ii specifically because i did not vibe with the virtual filming style. i got dropout because of Pirates of Leviathan, but i had the context of s1 and s2 of fantasy high so. idk man. is this coherent?
romance: Shriek Week and A Court of Fey and Flowers. Monster dating sim and Fairy Bridgerton. i'm not a dating sim person so i couldn't really do shriek week but ACOFAF. Man. That season.
Mystery: Mentopolis. I cannot tell you how much I loved Mentopolis. such a good season. Hank Green is there. Mike Trapp (creator of J'er'em'ih) is there. It's truly just tropes tropes tropes. everything is a pun.
Mentopolis also fits under action, which is what I would put Coffin Run under as well. Coffin Run my beloved. 2 vampires a wannabe-vampire and a jewish-old-man-who-misses-his-wife walk into dracula's castle and go. "hey we're your favorites, right?"
i'm so sorry. i hope this helped. i really love this show man. there's very few seasons i couldn't finish and 20 seasons out right now (the 21st is coming out every wednesday starting last week) and while there are MORE seasons like A Starstruck Odyssey (scifi comedy, 10/10 no notes) this is a long post to say. TLDR: you gotta know what style of show you like. my friend and i both watch it but she REFUSES to watch fantasy high and i can't stomach A Crown of Candy but we still both watch other seasons.
#adl :D#and i'm talking i guess#it's just. a really good show. there's so much heart in it#dimension 20#eftbk#fuck it we're maintagging#i do hope this helps i LOVE this show. it's beloved to me. got me through covid
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in a writing rut. but here's something i scribbled to try to get the creative juices flowing. it amused me. i might do something with it
totally unfinished, random ideas. moomins at (american) college, but this is fantasy so it's not america, it's troll land or whatever haha
~~~
"Moomintroll, why don't you try something new for a change?" Snorkmaiden asked.
"Something new? Like what?"
"I don't know. How about rugby?"
"Rugby?"
“Well, you have the right build for it. And wouldn't it be fun to win?”
“More fun than losing, anyhow.”
"Oh, pooh! The risk is what makes competition so exhilarating!”
Moomintroll pulled a face. With a huff, his girlfriend folded her arms. Today her fur was tinted a whimsical fuchsia hue. She used to keep it white, because "white goes with everything." Lately, though, it seemed she'd entered an experimental phase. Which was fitting. Why else did people go to college, except to try on a hundred shiny new personalities out of sight of those who knew them in high school? They certainly didn’t come for the academics.
"It's up to you, of course. But if you ask me, your life could use a shake-up. You practically live in your dorm. You don't come to campus events. Class is the only place we ever see you."
Moomintroll bit back the urge to retort that this was college, you were supposed to live in a dorm and go to class. Snorkmaiden liked sarcasm, but not when she was lecturing. (She also didn’t like to be described as lecturing.)
"You're seeing me right now," he pointed out instead.
"But in twenty minutes I'm going to the Midnight Breakfast, and you won't even join me for that! There will be pancakes, Moomintroll!"
"I don't like pancakes."
"Yes you do!"
Shuffling his feet, Moomintroll turned his back to her and pretended to search for something on his desk. He opened the drawer. Inside there was a little tin box, where he kept shells and sea glass worn smooth by the waves.
In a small voice, he muttered, "I like the way Mamma makes them."
Snorkmaiden heaved a long-suffering sigh. He felt a pang of guilt, and wished he'd kept his thoughts to himself.
"I know you miss home, my Moomintroll." Her paw came to rest on his arm. With the other, she nudged the drawer with the tin box shut. "But this is your chance to live your own life, however you want it. Remember how we used to stay up late planning adventures for when we grew up? You wanted to be a pirate!”
"Trolleton College doesn't offer a major in piracy."
"Comp sci!" Snorkmaiden chirped.
"Wrong sort of pirate."
At last she let the subject drop. But he could sense her disappointment, even though she talked and giggled the same as always. It rankled. He knew he should feel grateful that she cared. And she had waited over a year to start gently prodding him to put more effort into collegiate life. Now, half-way through their sophomore year, Snorkmaiden was in every club her packed schedule would allow for and had friends in every department. She never lacked for something to do or someone to do it with. Compared to her, his daily routine of go to class, eat lunch, go to class, eat dinner, study, then sleep, looked pretty sad indeed.
It hit him suddenly, as Snorkmaiden’s twenty minutes ran out and she took one last swing at persuading him to come to the midnight breakfast (“There won’t only be pancakes - last year they had scrambled eggs, fried ham, sausage, fruit, not to mention donuts!”), that Snorkmaiden was popular. In the small valley where the two of them met, grew up, and fell in love, he’d never noticed. People liked her, of course. But back home people were rather scarce.
She nuzzled his cheek, waving as she exited his room, the buttons from various campus events that covered her backpack twinkling in the light. They sported slogans like “Go Green,” “Save The Arctic: Polar Bears Menacing But Too Cute To Die,” and “I ♥ Ethical Environmental Policies.” He wondered how she could enjoy living in Trolleton, surrounded by brick and cement, not a tree to be seen that hadn’t been planted last year by boy scouts. At night, instead of the hushed parley of frogs and crickets, their lullaby was police sirens and motorcycles ripping down the street.
His stomach growled. Moomintroll looked at the clock. Just after eleven. He opened his mini fridge and took out a frozen pizza.
The first time he ate pizza, he was around fifteen. His family never traveled much farther than the mountains, although they loved to talk about it. But a winning sweepstakes ticket took them out of the valley to the Riviera, where they found the cozy pizza restaurant. It was real pizza, with fresh basil and tomatoes, baked in a massive wood-fire oven. The cook slid it out on a huge wooden slab, the cheese still bubbling. Even the memory made his mouth water.
The frozen pizza was rock-hard. Heating it in the microwave always left the crust soggy. Moomintroll clutched the box, wrestling with indecision. It might not be too late to catch up with Snorkmaiden. Honestly, the scrambled eggs at the caf were like rubber and only marginally edible. But donuts never let you down.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he threw on a scarf, grabbed his lanyard with his student ID, and hurried out of his dorm. Outside was dark, the lights streaming from the cafeteria beckoning. Over the archway hung a banner:
MIDNIGHT BREAKFAST!
At the caf, 10:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m. Tuesday, December 10th.
We know you all want to cram in a few more precious hours of study, but you’ve still got to eat! Power up with good food and good friends!
Food is free with your student ID.
5 silver coins for students without a meal plan.
Best of luck! Show those finals who’s boss!
Sponsored by the student union.
At the door, Moomintroll hesitated. There were a lot of people inside. A lot of people. It wasn’t like he was shy. But how was he to find Snorkmaiden? He didn’t want to be that awkward guy eating a stack of donuts by himself in the corner. He’d probably wind up with a horrid nickname that would stick with him for the two and half years - longer if he went to grad school - something like “Corner Donut Boy.”
Grabbing a tray, he made his way around the buffet table. He snagged two jelly donuts, one custard donut, and a cinnamon-dusted stick thing with a placard that read CHURRO. Then he scooped up some sausages, since they were there, and a few hash browns for the salt.
With his tray loaded, he took it and wandered around dismally. Every table was occupied. Should have thought to bring a doggy bag.
A gasp. “Ooh! Moomintroll!”
Snorkmaiden shot up so fast that her table rattled. “Over here!” she cried. “Move over, Sniff, move, move!”
“Why do I have to move?” Sniff cried. “It’s just Moomintroll. I was here first. Let him sit on the floor!”
“But he’s my boyfriend and I want to sit next to him.”
“So?”
“So, girlfriend privilege. Scoot over!”
Sniff’s whiskers twitched, but he made room on the bench. Moomintroll squeezed in between them with a sheepish grin.
“Thanks, Sniff.”
“Don’t thank me! She twisted my arm!”
“Well, thanks to your arm, then.”
“Come on, Sniff. We’re happy Moomintroll’s here!” Snorkmaiden said, raising her eyebrows with meaning. “We’re so happy our friend made it down here to hang out with us before finals after all.”
“Why are you looking at me like that? Moomintroll, what is she doing?”
“Being subtle.”
Sniff stared at him, mouth open. “... Huh?”
Moomintroll picked up a jelly donut. “Want a donut, Sniff?”
Donuts were the one thing Sniff loved more than not having to share his seat.
“So is this boyfriend?” someone asked. Moomintroll squinted, but no one appeared to have spoken. Across the table sat a rather gaunt hemulen, quivering as he pored over an entomology textbook (whether the quivering was the result of lack of sleep, nerves, or too much caffeine wasn’t immediately clear). To his left was a pretty girl with enormous blue eyes, her red hair bundled in a tidy knot. Next to her, a round, sturdy blonde in a striped shirt gazed dreamily into a mug of cocoa.
Moomintroll was gobsmacked to realize he didn’t know a single one of Snorkmaiden’s friends (apart from Sniff, who he couldn’t help knowing - Sniff was his brother, of sorts). Apparently she flitted like a butterfly through the different circles of friends on campus.
“Um.” He bit into a hash brown. “... Did someone say something?”
“I did,” answered the same voice. Once again, no one’s mouth appeared to move.
Moomintroll blinked twice, then rubbed his eyes.
“Down here, idiot.”
Someone jabbed his leg. Hard. In shock, Moomintroll bent and tried to fit his snout under the table. There, on the floor, stood a very small girl in a red dress, sneering. She also had vibrant red hair in a knot like the pretty girl, but her demeanor couldn’t have been more different.
“Well, didn’t your mama teach you it’s impolite to stare?” the tiny… student? … shouted at him.
“Oh - sorry - I didn’t realize you were down there is all. Er. I didn’t step on you, did I?”
The girl cocked one brow at Snorkmaiden. “He’s quite the catch, your lover boy.”
“Moomintroll.” Snaking an arm through his, Snorkmaiden snuggled in close. “Let me introduce you. This is Little My. She doesn’t always eat under the table. Sometimes she sits on top. But she said Hemulen’s moaning gave her indigestion.”
“Nice - nice to meet you,” he stammered, suddenly feeling quite anxious.
“And this is her sister, Mymble,” Snorkmaiden added.
The pretty redhead smiled.
“You don’t… mind that your sister eats under the table?” Moomintroll asked.
“Oh no,” Mymble replied. “She’s always stirring up trouble, you see, and makes me run after her. If she’s not trying to go for a ride on a frisbee, she’s photocopying her face in the library, or leaving toy roaches in RA’s shoes. I’ve had so many discussions with the dean on her account. If she’s under the table I don’t have to worry at all, except if she starts biting ankles.”
That explained this strange anxiety. Little My did give the impression she was likely to take a bite of his ankle instead of the pancakes.
“I hate it when she bites,” Sniff grumbled.
“It’s all right,” the blonde girl said. Her voice was as airy and dream-like as her eyes. “Keep your ankles out of reach and you’ll be perfectly fine.”
Sniff quickly tucked his knees in. “That’s easy for you to say!”
“Expect the best and prepare for the worst,” grinned Little My.
The girl in the striped shirt suddenly drained her cocoa and stood, plopping a funny blue hat with a red pom on her shaggy crop.
“Are you leaving, Too-ticky?” Snorkmaiden asked.
“Yes. My first exam is at eight-thirty, and I like to get a full eight hours’ sleep. Good-bye, everyone.”
She even walked away dreamily.
“Sleep well, Tooti,” Mymble sang.
“She’s very nice,” Snorkmaiden told Moomintroll. “A bit - odd - but who isn’t?”
“And she’s a philosophy major,” piped in Little My. “They’re all a little whiz-bang-watchamacallit, if you get my meaning."
“What’s your major then?” Moomintroll asked, to be polite.
Still under the table, Little My appeared to turn her head a full 180 degrees, fixing him with her piercing green eyes. She bared her teeth. “Toxic mycology.”
Moomintroll gulped. “I didn’t know the majors here were so… specific.”
“I customized my own,” she answered. “And what’s yours? Let me guess. Undeclared?”
It sounded like an insult, the way she said it. Which was ridiculous. Lots of students went undeclared in freshman year. And sometimes their sophomore year too. Nothing wrong with that. Still, he found he was once again stammering. “No - well, yes - but I have - an intention to declare a major soon…”
“Oh, you do?” Snorkmaiden perked up, turning to him with interest. “What did you finally decide? Tell me, I’m all ears!”
“Ehm… agricultural… something…”
“Agriculture?” Little My scowled. “Aren’t you afraid that if you start a farm, you’ll be mistaken for one of your cows?”
That ruffled Moomintroll’s fur. “People usually say Moomins look like hippos, not cows,” he shot back haughtily.
Snorkmaiden patted his shoulder, in warning, perhaps. “My sweet. That’s… not the flex you think it is.”
Little My shrugged. “I’m just saying. But I guess you know all about farming, growing up in that lovely, open valley Snorkmaiden goes on about.”
“Moomintroll doesn’t have a farm,” Sniff interjected, helping himself to Moomintroll’s questionable "churro." “His papa doesn’t work. Moominmamma has a garden, with big tomatoes and cucumbers in the summer, and squash in the fall. But she doesn’t sell them. I told her she ought to, but she said if he sold her vegetables, what would she have to cook my birthday dinner? So I said maybe she could sell only some of the vegetables, and leave enough for my birthday dinner. But she worried that then she wouldn’t have enough to make sandwiches for Mrs Fillyjonk’s tea.”
Sniff, naturally, was a business major.
“Pappa works,” Moomintroll objected. “He writes books.”
“Anything good?” Little My asked.
“Yes. Lots.”
“Anything I’ve read?”
Moomintroll thought for a while. Snorkmaiden drummed her fingers on her cheek with a look of deep boredom.
At last he settled for: “Well, when he publishes his memoirs, I’ll send you a copy, and you can judge for yourself.”
Little My set her jaw and nodded. “You do that.”
“Snorkmaiden dear,” interjected Mymble. “Do you want more cocoa?”
“Gosh, yes!” Snorkmaiden exclaimed, seizing her mug. “I meant to go earlier but - oh, looks like they’ve run out…”
“No problem,” Mymble said. “I can get us some from the back. Wait a little.”
She sashayed off. Moomintroll watched her go, perplexed. “What ‘back’ does she mean?”
“She means she’s going to flirt with Marco the cafeteria worker, and get him to dip into the cocoa bins in the supply room.” Little My made a noise of frustration. “I thought grad school would teach her to cool off some, but the minute she spies anything shiny with washboard abs and a few chin whiskers, off she goes…”
Managing Marco didn’t take long. Mymble returned after a while with cocoa packets for each of them. When she offered one to the Hemulen, he pinned it to the table lightning quick, muttering about bluebottle butterflies.
“Now let’s talk about something else,” said Mymble.
“Like what?” Little My pulled herself onto the table in Too-ticky’s spot.
“I don’t know. Pick something.”
“Fine. Piranhas.”
“Nothing that bites,” Sniff cut in, shivering.
“Moomintroll, you pick,” said Snorkmaiden.
He was taken aback. “Why me?” he cried, but she only looked at him expectantly. Frantically shifting through his mind, he tried to summon a topic that everyone would like, something interesting, something current.
“How about finals?”
“Finals?” For someone of her stature, Little My had quite the thunderous voice. “Groke take me. We came here to get a break from the endless facts going round and round in our heads, and all you can think of talking about is exams?”
“... Or something else,” he squeaked.
(to be continued.... ????)
#moomin#fizz writes#this brought back memories#also made me sad that ive forgotten so much about college :(
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If I Bring You Flowers
“Come on girly, give me a chance,” Childe pleaded. The sun was high in the sky, casting a perfect shadow across his face. His blue eyes were peering down at you, almost hidden behind his bangs. A smirk etched across his face told you that he expected no other answer but a “yes”.
Well, now of course you wanted to say yes. But what about a little fun before that?
Hiding your smile, you brought your hand up to muffle your giggle. “You and me? What ever could give you the crazy idea we would make a good couple?”
Of course you had thought about it occasionally. Childe and you had been friends for over a year now that you had entered your sophomore year of college. You had met in a shared English class…..
While the professor had droned on about the syllabus and plagiarism, a speech you had already heard twice that week, you had zoned out. Class at your university was boring to say the least. Well, it was until a noticeable ginger promptly decided that moment to enter the classroom, looking extremely disheveled.
“Please tell me this is English 1050,” he begged to the professor. Looking like he had just run a mile, the stranger clearly had no shame or embarrassment. His auburn hair was swept over his ocean colored eyes, desperation leaking out of them.
A breathe of air was collectively taken in by the entire class, awaiting for the impending lecture the late student would no doubly received.
The professor glared daggers at him but with a click of his tongue, he responded with a simple yes before instructing the newbie to take a seat.
.
.
.
Instantly everyone in the room had the collective thought of, “HOW DID HE NOT DIE?!” First of all, this was a professor. A notably cranky tenured professor who had a 1.4 on rate my professor. Comments filled with how extremely punctual he was and how he expected everyone who took his class should be as well.
This confusion wasn’t resolved until you heard later but this strange theatrical man was actually a living legend among the students of Liyue University. His father was on the board of directors of the school and he was well connected with the university’s president, Zhongli. Oh, and they didn't forget to mention, he was the biggest playboy around too. Making his way through the female population seemed to be his number 1 priority seemingly next to holding the craziest parties. One such rumor suggested he had even gotten the cops to provide him the beer he served at his parties.
To you, however, he was the guy who interrupted your daydreaming. You were in the middle of fantasying about how Aaron Blackford would be baking desserts with you in his high rise apartment when the strange man decided to drop his school bag right next to you.
His actions made you jump and and quickly turn to look at the offending individual. Instead of saying sorry, he instead took your glare as an invitation to sit down and continue his assault on your ears as he took out all his school supplies. The nerve of this guy made you want to pull your hair out.
Eyeing him carefully, you made the conscious decision to go back to your daydreaming. Since it was the first day of class and syllabus week (okay syllabus day) you had an inclination that everything would be okay if you just ignored the pretentious ass.
Oh how wrong you were.
A loud slurp pulled you out of your thoughts once again as you glanced over the man sitting next to you. You found that his ocean eyes were already on you as his lips were curled around the coffee he was inhaling.
Slurp.
Slurp.
With each slurp that graced the space around you, it felt like your sanity was starting to slip away.
You adjusted your eyes to look straight ahead. There was no way he was dense. He knew he was being disruptive.
Taking your actions as an indication that he had lost your attention. Thee blue eyed stranger decided to up his game and pull out a black pen.*
He wouldn’t-, you thought.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Just breathe. Just breathe. Imagine Aaron- click. Imagine Aaron cooking while smiling-click. IMAGINE THROWING THIS STUPID GUY OFF A PLANE!
Click.
Although the clicking continue, the thought of pushing the guy off a plane and into the middle of the ocean provided a small sense of relief.
Deciding once again to ignore this stranger who seemed to have it out for you. You decided to fish into your bag for your head phones. Placing in the headphones when your teacher’s back was towards you and played the first song that was on your playlist. You played it just loud enough for the music to cover the annoying clicking of the pen.
Closing your eyes, you breathed in a sigh of relief. See? You could handle conflict resolution just nicely. You had kept your cool and no one was murdered. Even though the guy next to you deserved to be sent to Tartarus for his behavior you had managed-
“OH PROFESSOR” came the loud, very obvious voice of your seating partner,”we aren’t allowed to listen to music when we are present in class, correct?” Fuck conflict resolution, you wanted this guy’s head on a pike.
Quickly, you adjusted your hair again to make sure you had securely hidden your airpods from view but the damaged had been done. The professor, along with everyone else, had glanced from your partner to you who had shifted suddenly in your seat.
Narrowing his eyes, the professor took a quick glanced at the seating arrangement that you had signed off earlier. “Miss L/N,” he started,” please removed your headphones and report to me after class.” His brisk voice made the hair on the back on your neck stand up straight.
Heat exploded from every part of your body as you sat there, wanting to die. Slowly you removed your airpods from your ear and into your case. Once everyone’s attention drifted from you, your eyes immediately shifted onto the villain sitting next to you. Who, as the universe would have it, had his arm perched on his desk, hand underneath his chin while the other held the coffee he was drinking out of. His eyes easily found yours and when he did, he removed the cup from his lips and smiled.
Oh if looks could kill. He would have been dead 500 times over with the look he received from you.
Seemingly unaffected, he turned his gaze back onto the teacher, smile still in place.
Mustering your anger, you too turned your attention back to the front, not wanting to get in trouble for a second time that day.
.
.
.
Reluctantly you pulled yourself from your seat at the end of class. As students shuffled out of the classroom, you made sure to hang back. Unfortunately a certain someone also had the same idea.
Walking up to your professor’s desk, you muttered a sorry and explained you would make sure to not do that again.
After hearing you apology, the professor clasped his hands in front of you and stared directly into your eyes, showing his seriousness.
“Miss L/N,” he began. You felt your heartbeat beginning to slowly increase in pace. Had it always been so hot in the room or did the heat of your professor gaze make you feel like you were in an oven?
“Due to your actions, I have no choice to-”
“Oh no professor,” a voice from behind you boomed, “ I don’t think anything like that will be necessary.”
Turning you were surprised to see the ginger that was currently making your life a living hell, right behind you. Your eyes had to trail upwards as you only came up to his shoulder and he was quite tall.
Childe allowed his eyes to gaze over your face for a brief moment before he spoke again.
“I think the embarrassment and the shame y/n has faced for today more than makes up for her earlier discretion.” as he spoke, his eyes never left your face. He was studying you with amusement. The same amusement that lead to your current predicament.
Scoffing, the professor began but was quickly cut off by the villain turned savior, “Unless of course you wish the president to hear about this little disagreement.”
Now Childe flicked his eyes towards the professor, daring the him with a menacing smile.
His entitlement ticked you off. But at least he cleaned up his own mess, even if it was you who was caught in the middle of it.
Turning back around, ignoring the heat rising to your cheeks, you awaited what your professor had to say.
No way this stranger who had blatantly disrespected the professor more than once today think that he could make him do his bidding… Right?
But the way that he spoke, the way he looked, made you think otherwise. If his laid back deposition was any indication, he most certainly thought he had the professor wrapped around his finger.
“I don’t think there will be any need for that, Mr. Tartaglia,” he replied hesitantly. His bald head seemed to be gleaming with sweat while he spoke.
“Perfect, then we will take our leave,” came the ginger’s chipper voice. He turned toward to you and with a small wink, grabbed your forearm and dragged you out of the classroom with him. His hand was soft on your skin. Warm and inviting. You briefly mussed what it would be like to hold his hand.
“Why did you save me?” You asked once you both were far away from the professor to prevent him from overhearing.
Childe hmmed for a second, throwing a quick glanced your way before responding. “I didn’t want my play thing taken away from me.”
Eyebrows furrowed, his confession hit you like a train, enough to stop you in your tracks. This mother-
.
.
.
“Y/N!”
The sound of your name caught you off guard as you realized you had been walking without a clear direction.
Turning back around you came face-to-face with Childe. The asshole who had gotten you in trouble the first day. The same asshole who would save you from certain doom, if you asked for it.
Cupping his face while it morph into confusion, you smiled and place a small but much anticipate kiss on his soft lips.
“You’re an asshole but you’re mine.”
#childe tartaglia ajax#genshin childe#childe x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact#tartagalia genshin impact
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Ten Books to Know Me – I was tagged by the lovely @landwriter and @valeriianz to share 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know me better, or that I just really like.
it was practically impossible for me to choose just ten (and in fact I didn't) and I definitely provide WAY more background info than probably anyone is interested in, so this got looong and I'm gonna put my commentary under a cut! but here is my list, in no particular order:
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
East of Eden, John Steinbeck
The Hobbit & The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkein
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith
Momo, Michael Ende
The Blue Castle, LM Montgomery
The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell
Gaudy Night, Dorothy L Sayers
The Great and Terrible Quest, Margaret Lovett
yes I know there are eleven shut up
(1) Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
if you physically forced me to choose one book that is my favorite of all time, it might be Jane Eyre. I can't swear to that, but it's a good contender. I couldn't even tell you when I first read it, but it was some time before my sophomore year of high school (we were assigned it in an English lit class and I was already intimately familiar with it).
I just adore Jane so much. she's so smart and stubborn and weird and self-aware and strong in a way that young Nora identified with and envied in equal parts. I frequently re-read this book when my life was feeling overwhelmingly negative, because it comforted me to think that if everything could turn out okay for Jane in the end, it might turn out okay for me, too.
would I love it as much if I read it for the first time now, as an adult? maybe not. the whole crazy-wife-in-the-attic is... not a good look. I get why people don't love it. but I do and I always will.
(2) East of Eden, John Steinbeck
I can pick this book up, open it to any page, and there's a better-than-even chance it will immediately make me burst into tears. (actually, as I'm writing this I'm realizing that I'm really due for a re-read.)
listen.. I come from a sprawling dysfunctional family and I love a good sprawling epic about a dysfunctional family. I love religious metaphors. I love detailed and loving descriptions of nature and beloved land. is it a bit heavy handed at times? yes. is it still one of the great American novels? yes.
timshel.
(3) The Hobbit & The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkein (insert Gimli gif "That still only counts as one!!")
I associate these books very closely with my family, especially my dad. one of my earliest memories is of my dad reading The Hobbit out loud to me when I was very young – I remember crying so hard when Thorin died that I just about made myself sick.
look, you know why I love these books. you love them for the same reason. everyone loves them. they're perfect.
the movies all came out around my dad's birthday and we went to see them as a family every year. my sister and brother and I have literally gotten drunk and cried on the couch whilst holding hands during our millionth rewatch of Return of the King. I don't know who I would be if these books weren't on my list.
(4) Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
this is one of those books I read under exactly the right circumstances, during my senior year of high school, in a literature of fantasy class filled with a bunch of other intense artsy nerds; we were all figuring ourselves out and finding our places in the world and learning how to be humans and to develop those deep, intense friendships that you can only form when you're 17 or 18 years old.
we all wholeheartedly adopted the concepts of grokking and sharing water and we would go around telling each other thou art God.
it's dated, as is a lot of sci fi from the early 60s; the casual sexism and homophobia are not pleasant to read and in retrospect some of the religious symbolism is a little heavy handed. but I still have a soft space in my heart for it (in fact I just loaned a friend my copy this winter). I also love the concept of a Fair Witness.
(5) The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
this has been one of my favorite books since I was about six years old. as a kid I was obsessed with the idea of secret worlds, and especially when kids had things going on that grownups didn't know about or couldn't access. (I loooved stories like Narnia.)
it's just such a sweet book. let's all heal our trauma with the power of pale green points and singing the Doxology to a bunch of birds.
(6) A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith
I was probably just a little bit too young to read this book the first time I picked it up. I didn't know novels could tell stories like this. I didn't know you could write a book that was so painful and beautiful at the same time, or that things that are true can be so ugly and so beautiful at the same time. it cracked open something inside me when I finished it. I think I actually woke my mom up so I could cry at her about it.
I think Francie is another protagonist that I identified with to an almost uncomfortable degree, and I think a big part of the power of this book is how accurately it depicts the inner life of a weird little kid in an intense world she's only just beginning to understand.
(7) Momo oder Die seltsame Geschichte von den Zeit-Dieben und von dem Kind, das den Menschen die gestohlene Zeit zurückbrachte, Michael Ende (the older English translation is titled The Grey Gentlemen, but I think a newer translation uses the original title)
definitely another children-save-the-day-with-their-secret-child-knowledge story; one that also makes incredibly insightful commentary about consumerism and technology and the speed of modern life – a message that's only gotten more and more relevant since it was first published in 1973.
Momo herself is a one of my favorite members in the pantheon of weird little kid characters whom I adore. and the Grey Gentlemen are one of the creepiest, most inexorable antagonists I can think of from children's literature.
I haven't read the English translation and I'm not sure how it compares to the original, or how difficult it is to find in the US. but it's absolutely worth tracking down a copy.
(8) The Blue Castle, LM Montgomery
as much as I adore the Anne books, and really all of LMM's work, my absolute favorite of hers is this one. it might even be the book on this list that I've re-read most often, and as you might have gathered, I re-read books a lot. (there was a time during the peak of the pandemic when I was having trouble sleeping and I probably read this book, or parts of it, about every week or two. it was like eating my favorite food, it just made me feel better.)
it's one of her few more adult works, and a straight-up romance, and it's CRIMINALLY unknown and underappreciated.
(9) The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell
this book has it all. aliens. linguistics. space travel. Jesuits. philosophical questions about what it means to be a child of God.
like... the main character is a space traveling polyglot linguist priest. that hits ALL my buttons.
anyway this is an absolutely gorgeously written sci fi novel that's not really a sci fi novel, kind of the way Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel and another honorable mention on this list) is a post-apocalyptic novel that's not really about the apocalypse. it's one of those books that I'm just constantly recommending to other people because it's so so good. (it is also kind of heartbreakingly tragic and involves some fairly serious trauma of both the physical and psychological/religious varieties, so if you pick it up be aware of that.)
(10) Gaudy Night, Dorothy L Sayers
I adore all of Lord Peter Wimsey (except maybe Whose Body? and even that has its merits) but Gaudy Night is my favorite, although Murder Must Advertise is a very close runner-up. I have such an enormous crush on Harriet Vane, you don't even KNOW. I want to be best friends with her and also steal her away from Lord Peter and marry her myself. she is such a perfectly imperfect heroine AND she is absolutely his intellectual equal and that's why he's madly in love with her. swoon.
again, this is a book that has it all. mystery. romance. esoteric academic rituals. philosophical questions about what it means to be a woman in a world where your gender will always be the most important thing people perceive about you no matter what you do. life imitating art imitating life imitating art. WWI changing the fabric of society. consider my buttons pushed.
(11) The Great and Terrible Quest, Margaret Lovett
yes, I'm adding an extra eleventh book. I can't help it. this is another criminally unknown and underappreciated book and since nobody's ever heard of it I am required to shout from the rooftops about how great it is.
it's a classic fantasy story (I guess you could call it a fairy tale, but there isn't really anything magical about it, just knights and kings and stuff) about a young boy who lives with his cruel grandfather. he saves a mysterious man from a terrible head wound and gets swept along in the man's quest. it's simple and beautiful and has one of the best endings of any book I've ever read.
Lovett only published a handful of books, but they're all marvelous. please find them if you can.
I really haven't been online this week so I have no idea who's already done this and who hasn't and I don't know who to tag, so I'm going to take the coward's way out and just say if you're seeing this and looking for an excuse to answer these questions, consider this your sign.
#sorry this is so long#I actually haven't been reading much lately and I kinda forgot how much I love talking about books#also I'm realizing there's a lot of crying mentioned in this post#I cry a lot what can I say#it's like... my primary emotional reaction no matter what's happening#books#tag game#about me
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It took me until episode 3 of Junior Year, but I've finally found out what I found kind of strange about the Theological (mis)Adventures Of Kristen Appelbees. To get ahead of the Kristen Discourse train for a second, this isn't a criticism of either of the show or Kristen, just an observation about cultural differences that might be interesting for someone who isn't me maybe? Fantasy High spoilers for all three seasons below the cut.
Ok, so this is about what religion is in the Fantasy High universe, and I suppose in D&D in general. At the start of Junior Year in particular, much hay is made over how Adaine's last deity YES!/YES? has ceased to be on account of being abandoned by its first and last follower, Kristen, who also did a so-so job at getting the good word out there. This ties in with the larger mechanics of the divine, which I will concede is very consistent, in that the gods rely on mortals for their ongoing existence, and also are shaped by their followers, see how Galicaea is a bit of a self-hating mess because her (majority high elven) worshippers would Very Much Not Prefer to talk about that whole werewolf/animalistic aspect of their goddess.
Now, this is a very human/sapient mortal/sapient almost-mortal-centric way to structure the universe of your story, which is what we've come to expect from Brennan and his knack for character-centric storytelling and general humanism. It is also, however, the structure that ends up putting what I would argue is an unreasonable amount of weight on the shoulders of the clerics of the world, including our favorite disaster lesbian.
Now, as a teen, I suppose it isn't unusual to feel like the whole world is on your shoulders. Hell, I suppose it's a feeling Kristen is very much used to as the ex-chosen of Helio. Still, even the abstract "my child will do everything right"-pressure kind of pales in comparison as far as mental stress is considered compared to "if I do not Class Well Enough this living thinking entity that functionally lives in my head and who I have personally picked a name for and now have a bit of a fraught relationship with will capital D-die and it will be my fault," which is frankly such a heavy narrative sword of Damocles that it makes me, as a viewer, too stressed. The stakes are too high, and for a school to require a teenager to navigate a relationship with the divine for a passing grade feels unreasonable even on a level past "getting your own school supplies and the school supplies are a frankly unreasonable amount of diamonds and other rare arcane items," or even "Fig has to start going to class" for that matter.
Granted, I'm sure this will read a lot closer to truth or storytelling-friendly truth simulacra for those who have gone through school with a learning disability or autism, ADHD, or other challenges that school has historically not been great at making allowances for, and the way the third episode, in particular, was very good at leading the thoughts in that direction did a lot to assuage my anxiety. "Relax, you're supposed to think this is a bullshit sort of situation to strand poor dear Kristen in, and her ending up in a similar holding pattern as she started Sophomore Year is a sign of her still not getting the help she needs, not an unflattering reflection on her or an unreasonable dickishness of the plot."
Now you may be asking "Hey Peebs, wasn't this supposed to be about some cultural stuff, what's with all the soul gazing?" and yes, you retain stuff well, at least as it pertains to rambling quasi-essays on streaming content. I'll get to the point I'm making anon.
Part of why the above situation and interaction between worldbuilding, character, and plot felt so gravely upsetting to me, I think, is because it does seem to follow what I've come to understand as a uniquely American understanding of religion, or perhaps if I were to make a less sweeping statement, an understanding of religion that differs from my own and from most models of religion in Europe that I know of personally.
Just to lay my cards bare before I go on, I am not religious myself, in most aspects I'm staunchly atheist and/or agnostic. I have, however, grown up around religion, as being religious, and Protestant Christian in particular is viewed as the norm in Norway. The Norwegian Monarch is required by law to be protestant Christian, no-one's forced to go to church as a part of schooling but at least when I was young it was heavily encouraged, leading me to Christmas vacation being heralded with a school-sponsored semimandatory church service where one might sing psalms with lyrics like "Gud Er Gud om alle mann var døde/ Gud Er Gud om alle land lå øde" (God is God if all men were dead / God is God if all fields were barren [alternatively: all lands were desolate]. My translation.) Granted, Norway is a bit of an outlier in Europe in that much of our adherence to religion can be viewed as an adherence to tradition, although I will concede that might be the atheistic contrarian in me speaking.
Either way, this idea of "god's there whether you believe in Him or not, dude" seems typical of the European approach to the Abrahamic religions to me, and to the degree that the individual is considered at all it is in the "ok, so how do I save my own sinful ass in all of this" sense, whether the saving is in a vague uplifting sense Protestants seem to favor or the "or God is going to kick my ass most severely..."-vibe that Catholics seem to go for.
American religion, especially the practice of evangelical protestant Christianity, seems to be a lot more invested in the role of the individual. God needs soldiers as the worrying rhetoric will occasionally go, and to be a good soldier one must not only be A Good Person and Do Good Things, but one must also seek to proselytize and grow God's ranks. The question of religion and its role in society has little to do with tradition and is only interesting in the fate of the soul as a passing concern in the form of cosmic justice or retribution. On a societal level in evangelicism, religion is a question of the soul of society, and the only way to countenance the sources of evil in the world, be they real or imagined, is to spread the word, to convert, and to maintain a level of purity and cohesion that seems to always be just outside of reach.
I can imagine this is a deeply stressful way to live your life, just the thought of not being good enough for a divine being strikes me personally as absurd, but I digress.
It's not exactly a stated dogma of evangelical protestantism that God Needs Humans, but it is very easy to extrapolate it from the way the evangelical movement seems to answer the Problem Of Evil with the seeming cosmically ordained need for human struggle, I.E there is evil because god wants to/needs to test us and/or because god can not rid the world of evil without also ridding humans of their free will. It is perhaps related to how the evangelical blocs will have convictions with religious zeal about otherwise secular questions, such as women's healthcare and foreign politics, albeit part of that is no doubt just good ol' fundamentalism, which isn't a uniquely American idea but boy howdy has it taken root over there.
So that sure was a lot of words to say "The idea of the Cleric being a necessity for a divine being/god to exist in FH seems strange to peebs because Peebs grew up in a culture that's dominated by a version of Christianity that doesn't believe in a personal relationship with God or in the possibility of affecting any change on the divine or His Plan (TM)" huh? Well, I've been trying to dissect my own reaction to the initial Junior Year storyline for a bit now. It has been an interesting journey of discovery since I haven't really been blindsided by an aspect of American culture for a while now. I guess this one snuck under the radar because a lot of American media strives to be secular but not too much so, to not alienate potential viewers and as such ends up being kind of mealy-mouthed and centrist when it comes to questions of faith.
I guess this is another notch in the belt of my "give serialized storytelling that isn't inherently absurd or abhorrent to you three episodes to stretch its legs before you make any judgments"-approach, huh?
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#peebs thinks#I had a thought spill again it seems#classic “apologize for the length - didn't have the time to write something shorter” here#If perchance I have offended think but this and all is mended: “Oh god please don't take my wild thought-spills as authoritative”#a little self-deprecating humor there#I've been trying to stop but it is a very hard habit to break
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