#famer male reader
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#x male reader#tommy shelby x male reader#peaky blinders x male reader#peaky blinders x brother reader#dad reader#famer male reader#himbo male reader
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Farmer yandere x livestock hybrid!Darling hcs
- Davis was a farmer look to purchase new hybrids when he saw you, whether you were a cow, a sheep, a pig or even an Arian hybrid he just fell in love.
-Did he bid an unfathomable amount of money during the bidding for you since he's rich asf?? Yes-
-Oh but it's no worry for him since has you now it's completely worth it
- Don't! Do not! Sleep in a bed that isn't his.
- He will pamper you no questions, and will get very huffy if you refuse
- He's a total attention whore so please only give him attention
- Doesn't let you interact with the other farm hybrids, only high grade, show livestock hybrids are suitable for his darling
-Will do a whole care routine if you get one speck of dust on yourself
-Will die if you sleep on top of him
-He's gonna try to milk no exceptions... Wdym your not a cow hybrid I said no exceptions.
#soft yandere#tw yandere#yandere#yandere x reader#male yandere x you#yandere famer#farmer x reader#yancore#male yandere#yandere oc#oc x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x darling
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Word Count: 8048
Genre: Fem Body Reader Insert, AoT AU, FIILTHY Smut, Monster Fucking, Bull Hybrid. Reiner Braun X Porco Galliard X Marcel Galliard X Fem Reader
Warnings: NSFW Minors ABSOLUTELY DNI, BREEDING, Courting, Creampie, impregnation, lactation fantasy, cum Inflation, drool, overstimulation (male), hand jobs, ball fondling, rimming, dumbification, possessiveness, vaginal sex, fingering, blowjob, cunnilingus, belly bulge, knotting.
Characters are appropriately aged up for NSFW situations. Do not repost, copy, or duplicate. Sorry for typos. I try. Remember I’m hella dyslexic.
Featured Characters:
Main Cast: Reiner Braun, Porco Galliard, Marcel Galliard, Theo Magath, Zeke Yeager, Colt Grice, Pieck Finger.
Honorable Mention: Grisha Yeager, Eren Yeager, Historia Reiss, Mikasa Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe, Miche Zacharius, Nanaba, Dhalis Zachary, Petra Pal, Gabi Braun, Falco Grice.
SPECIAL Author’s Note: This piece was inspired by @erenscockslut’s work found here . Thank you for letting me use elements from your writing. I appreciate you so much and please follow them for more interesting writings!
Synopsis: You are a fresh graduate and new hire at Marley Farms. You have been tasked with getting three unpaired bullmen under control for competition and you need to figure out why they refuse to take interest in the only unpaired female of the group. They should be all over her! However, it turns out they might have an interest in you instead.
Next Chapter here!
Marley Farms and Paradis Farms were huge competitors in the cattle farming industry. Farmer Magath and Farmer Zachary had a long-standing family rivalry that went back hundreds of years. And because of it, your town was the ‘tamed’ cattle capital of the world. They held huge showings and competitions every year, and even though anyone could compete, it was the grounds of Magath and Zachary’s pissing contest.
Now, regular cattle weren’t that big of a deal to most people. It was the beast hybrids that drew everyone’s curiosity, and they were the main reason the area was so famous. If you had a large enough cattle farm, chances are you had a bullman to protect your herds and breed better cattle. Chances are you also bought them from either Marley Farms or Paradis Farms.
For years, the two families were civil with one another, often teaming up together to help local communities and create a wonderful environment for everyone to enjoy. But it all went bad again when someone in Farmer Zachary’s family stole Grisha, one of Magath’s perfectly designed and bred bullmen. The idea was to take Grisha for the night right before his rut and have him mate with as much of Famer Zachary’s regular herd as possible. They totally planned on returning him. However, Grisha wasn’t having it. The regular cattle were not the only ones he mate with. He discovered another cowlady mate after the passing of his previous mate. He much preferred Paradis Farms over Marley and gored anyone who tried to take him back. So, Grisha Yeager stayed, and both farms ended up with the legendary Yeager bloodlines. That’s how the greatest rivalry in the community was transformed into a downright nasty blood feud.
Farmer Magath had someone else to worry about besides his old family conflict. There was a new farmer out making a name for himself and he was making headlines for his rare breeds. Farmer Erwin Smith of Scouts Hollow Farms was hot on both of their trails and Farmer Zachary took a tremendous interest in what he was producing. So much that he made a deal with Farmer Smith, and they’ve since teamed up with a common goal to shut Farmer Magath down entirely.
And it seemed to work.
To date, Marley Farms was down to a handful of bullmen because they had produced too many males as of late and females were rare to capture or come by since the laws changed and prohibited the import and external trade of bullmen. Zeke Yeager was the main sire, and every herd calf produced by him was impressive, as to be expected with a carefully bred bullman like him. He always won every category in competition for the past eleven years, at least until this past year.
He was aging out soon and Paradis Farms had a younger Yeager sire, Eren, who knocked Marley off their eleven-year winning streak pedestal. And if that didn’t make Farmer Magath sweat, he heard Farmer Smith had two sires who were ready to breed and compete, named Levi and Miche. They were voted to be the favorites of next year’s competition. Miche was a stud, but they mated Levi with two Cowladies, Hange and Petra.
Then there was the powerful matriarch, Nanaba. They often kept matriarchs from being paired if they were docile enough. Someone artificially inseminated them to produce the best of the best from a few hand-picked studs.
Now, even the bullman produced regular herd cattle that was always top-notch. Selling off the regular herd cows bred from bullmen kept Marley Farms ahead. But, while Farmer Magath focused on his short game, Farmer Smith and Farmer Zachary transfixed on the long game.
Marley Farms had one mated pair, Bertholdt and Annie. He just recently introduced an unpaired female named Pieck to his circle of unpaired males. He was desperate right now to get his bullmen numbers up. She didn’t look spectacular, but every test he put her through put him at ease because she scored high marks, especially on the intelligence scale. She was also docile and sweet, the complete opposite of the three males that needed pairing.
He did not know what sort of numbers Farmer Zachary had these days. Every time one of his spies got close enough to get good information, Zachary figured them out, and they’d end up missing. He assumed from previous reports that he had five females and five to six males. They could have easily paired off together and Farmer Zachary could overpower the entire market, but it rarely worked that way because bullmen were picky about their actual mates. The fact that Farmer Smith’s prized bull had two mates was incredible.
The rutting “season” wouldn’t force the bullmen into mating either, because they had to be excited enough about a potential mate for the rut to be triggered. And that was why bullmen were dying out because they were so goddamn picky. So, just because Farmer Zachary had a better ratio than all of them, didn’t mean he was automatically top dog.
From what Farmer Magrath understood, Farmer Zachary only had one mated pair, and that was Eren and Mikasa. He had one younger matriarch named Christa, who would just be hitting her season, and that put him to an advantage. That was, of course, if he could gather semen to implant into her.
It was such a delicate, expensive, timely process with a high mortality and failure ratio due to how quickly the seed spoiled that it was never worth the trouble. The pay was phenomenal if you were an artificial inseminator with a high success statistic. However, your life was guaranteed to be short.
The rutting season came and went and none of the three unpaired males gave a single shit about cute, adorable cow lady Pieck. They weren’t mean to her. In fact, they adored her, and they immediately accepted her as one of their own. They just wouldn’t fuck her and produce more bullmen, and Farmer Magath was desperate.
And that’s why you’re here now, a brand-new employee to Marley Farms. You studied animal psychology and got you doctorate. Your specialty area of expertise was hybrids, and it was now your job to figure out why these three breedable males wouldn’t mate with this unpaired female. You had to figure out what they didn’t like about her and fix their thought process into thinking she was the right one. You had to figure out how to tame their aggression so they could at least have their semen collected, because these three weren’t even able to be categorized as studs because of how awful they were. Your last order of business was getting them ready for the upcoming competition so Marley Farms could get back their bragging rights and get better PR.
Zeke wouldn’t allow a collector near him. He was too prideful, and it was discovered he kept note of how many people he killed. Honestly, breeding further down the Yeager line was out of the question because Farmer Magath realized the aggression was becoming too ingrained in the bloodline. Farmer Zachary would find that out the hard way, but usually after the third generation, it was time to find a pure line again. And that’s how the Braun’s, the Galliard’s and the Grice’s ended up at his farm. Completely by ‘legal’ means, of course.
He had two younger calflings from the batch he got, but they had a long way to go before they were ready to be bred. Gabi Braun was the spunkiest little she-calfling he’d ever seen, and she led the other Grice calfling on many adventures. One day, she would be a fantastic matriarch and asset to the farm, but again, that was a decade away.
Now Gabi and Reiner were from the Braun lineage, and Brauns were known for their strength. Honestly, females were the more aggressive in this line. The Galliards were smaller, but agile and aggression was about 50/50 in this line across both male and female. The Grice line was gentle and determined, but sometimes a little clueless, so they made for better herd tenders instead of competitors and studs.
The mated pair, Bertholdt and Annie were ideal in every way. Annie was strong, tough as steel, and didn’t give much of a shit about anything. Bertholdt was quiet. More of a gentle giant, if you will. The Hoover line was the tallest and the Leonhart line was powerful, though all of them paled compared to the Yeager line. For the safety and future of the farm, Zeke wouldn’t be bred. Of course, if he seized Pieck for himself, no one was going to stop him. But he didn’t care about mating with her either.
“Welcome to the farm,” Magath said to you as you both sat in his office. “First day jitters?”
“Not at all, sir,” you say.
“Good, so here are your subjects. Porco, Marcel, and Reiner. You’ve got your work cut out for you, kid. Porco is the worst of the bunch. He’d be a good stud and a great competitive bull if you could get him under control. Bet he could bring home gold in the speed and agility category.”
“Marcel will be the easier of the three. He would be the best replacement for Zeke, and he would be a great contender for Best in Show.”
“Now Reiner could also be a show bull and bring home the prize in the strength category. Reiner isn’t bad so long as Porco isn’t nearby. Those two hate each another and their fights get violent. Can’t have that happening. So, make them play nice or find an alternative solution.”
“The next window for a rut is coming up in six months, and I want Pieck paired with one of them, Marcel, if possible. You got a year to get some calflings in the physiological oven. If you don’t succeed, I’ll end your contract and you’ll never work in this industry again, got it? There aren’t many hybrids to work with that get you the type of money these fuckers will, so yah got a lot at stake.”
Farmer Magath wasn’t wrong. All the other hybrid groups were far too dangerous, and the money was in the bullman industry right now because of their scarcity. This was certainly a make-or-break situation for you.
On your first day, you would brainstorm and getting acquainted with the farm so you could develop your game plan. You knew the first few weeks would be observation and trust building. You also had charts and diagrams to make, along with a bunch of other organizational science mumbo jumbo, to track their stats and behaviors. Not to mention moving in to a new place too.
Your home would also be here on the farm. Farmer Magath gave you a grant, along with your salary pay. They would set your housing unit up the moment you determined the best spot, so that was another goal for today. You had to consider the possibility of nighttime observations and find the best place to get your living quarters set up. But for now, it was time to meet your subjects.
One of Magath’s farm handlers led you to the field.
“Zeke’s easy to find,” he said. “Look there on the boulders. He always sits up high so he can see everything. At first, we thought it was so he could monitor the herd, but we realized… it’s so he can keep an eye on us. Never approach him. Let him come to you. Also, never, ever look him in the eyes. If you go to him, he’ll kill you. Now if you can’t avoid walking his way, again do NOT make eye contact. Just keep your gaze forward and he will leave you alone. The minute you near him and make eye contact, it’s over. He views it as a challenge. Not even the other bullmen look him in the eye.”
“Got it…” you say nervously.
“The one over in the cafling pen is Pieck. She goes back and forth between them and the field. As will Colt. Both seem to babysit them. It’s obvious Pieck wants to be a mother. It’ll be a righteous thing you do if you get her mated. She’s such a sweet girl.”
“Now Colt, Zeke seems to tolerate him most, because Colt isn’t a threat by any means. Colt watches the main herd with Zeke, and he is the only one who can get near Zeke safely. Colt is a kind bull, a little clumsy from time to time, but his temperament is by far the best out of any male we’ve ever had during my employment here.”
“Bert and Annie are nestled up together because she’s expecting. You won’t see much of them. The three you’ll be studying stay towards the north of the pasture, away from Zeke and the others. They’re broody males, but you better believe when Zeke calls all of them, they come running and are suddenly so well behaved.”
“Marcel is the better of the three. Honestly, you’ll probably have the best luck out of him. Reiner is alright. Gets a little rough from time to time because he doesn’t know his own strength, but the problem child is Porco. Now Porco and Reiner avoid one another, but usually Porco starts shit and will encroach on Reiner’s territory to challenge him. Marcel ends up putting them both in their places and on those days, sweet Marcel is one irritated bull. Porco is just mean all around. He doesn’t like a single handler. He gets along with his brother and that’s about it. He’s good around the calflings and Pieck and Colt. He keeps his head down around Zeke. But Reiner will put him in a rage instantly, though. Best to keep them apart at all times. ”
The farm handler pulled out his binoculars and scoped the north end of the field. “Hmm, Porco’s down by the creek with Marcel. We probably put Reiner up for today. Let’s go check the pen. I think they got into a terrible fight and Reiner’s recovering. He might be ornery because of it.”
You followed the handler to check the bullmen's pen. It was an enormous building with roomy stalls for the bullmen to lie down comfortably in a nest of furs and hay. They had shelves and trunks for them to store their shiny things and treasures. Each had a water spout for them to get fresh water. Even their own bathroom space for privacy during vulnerable moments. Washing was supposed to be done by the handlers every day, as was any grooming, but these three males were wild and unruly. They wouldn’t allow humans to get close enough to groom them.
They had to be tranquilized to do it, so it was a once-a-month thing. The bulls were good about washing and keeping themselves clean, but the intricate parts that required a helping hand just weren’t allowed to be done without sedation.
The only thing they didn’t fuss about was feeding.
“Alright, yeah, Reiner’s in here,” says the handler as he stops at one pen. You heard a loud snort and a threatening hoof stomp. “Yep, real pissed off bull.” There was another loud stomp and a warning call. The handler backed up and despite his anxiety, you eased over to get a good look at the bullman.
He bowed up, with a snarled lip, hair raised with rage in his golden eyes, but the moment he glanced at you, and then ultimately became fixated on you, he relaxed.
“I’ll be damned,” the handler muttered. “Never seen him get calm that quick.”
Instead of rushing the heavy door and attempting to reach over and grab you or the handler, he stood upright and tall when he sauntered over, as if he were strutting. He was impressive, and the broadest built bull you’ve ever seen. A hulking seven foot and a few inches high with herculean muscles that would make even the strongest waste lander orc envious. He was also extremely handsome and blonde with rugged facial hair framing his mouth. Even his coat from the waist down was brilliantly golden blonde. His upper body was ivory with warm pink undertones.
Like all bullmen, he was mostly hairless up top, save for his head, and other typical spots human males had a peppering of fine hair. He had cow ears and typical bull horns growing outward from his face rather than forward towards his nose. Minus those two things, he looked like a regular human, until you followed his belly button’s happy trail down to his waist. Then he was all bull. Tail, hooves, cock sheath, balls, and all.
He looked so docile, and you smiled up at him. “Hello Reiner, I’m Y/N and we’re going to be working together.”
“Y/N?” he questioned softly. “Y/N…Y…N.”
He looked completely captivated by you and, just from the immediate connection; you felt he would be easier to get along with than you expected.
“We’ll be hanging out quite a bit,” you tell him. “I can’t wait to get to know you.”
And for the rest of the visit, Reiner was calm, watching and listening to you with maximum interest. He looked sad the moment you told him you had to go. He leaned over his heavy door to watch you leave like a sad puppy. It broke your heart when he let out this adorable little bleating noise as if begging you to stay.
Marcel came up to feed while you were in the bullpen with Reiner. He was shorter than Reiner and not as broadly built, but you understood they bred his lineage for agility. His coat was a shiny chestnut brown, and he had a ring in his nose. His face was handsome too, with a sharp nose and brilliant keen eyes. He had strong, quick-witted alpha energy.
He eyed you curiously for a moment, then decided he was interested in you. He circled around you once and let out this loud bellow. Of course, this alerted Porco off in the field, and he hurried to see what his brother found.
Marcel drew closer, leaning down to sniff your hair, giving a powerful snort afterwards. “Name?” he asked as he circled you again. The handler went to place a hand on you to ease you back because this was odd behavior for Marcel.
Marcel did not appreciate it when the handler touched you. He gave a threatening huff and stamp, along with a warning call to let the handler know he needed to get away from you.
“We need to get behind the gate,” the handler said to you. He noticed Porco over the hill, watching intently. If Marcel sounded off again, his angry brother would surely come running.
“No,” Marcel growled as he stopped between you and the handler to block you from leaving. “You go. I want a name.”
“I’m Y/N,” you say gently. “I will be working with you.”
Marcel stared at you for a minute. “Come,” he said, and he took your hand. “Come, Y/N.”
Marcel tugged at you, insisting you follow him, and you looked back at the handler with uncertainty. He was gaping, wild-eyed as you let Marcel pull you along. But really, what choice did you have when he could easily reach around and snap your neck? The handler slowly followed, and he got far too. However, Porco charged down the hill, bellowing with all his fury the moment he got too close to you and Marcel again.
You gasped, tightening your hold on Marcel’s hand, and he shushed you while Porco barreled past to chase the handler backed beyond the gate. He stamped and hollered while Marcel led you further away. All the while, you felt a pair of judgmental eyes staring down at you from a far. You knew it was Zeke. You could feel it coming from his direction and it made the hair stand on the back of your neck.
“Come, Y/N,” Marcel said again with bright eyes looking down at you. “Want to show you places.”
“O-ok.”
Porco turned and followed the two of you, satisfied that no one else was going to intervene with his brother and him. Porco was a duller blonde than Reiner, and just like Marcel, he was short. His hazel eyes were intense as he stared after you, trying to figure you out. His brother never cared to interact with humans, but here you were, hand in hand with him.
Nothing terrible occurred on your little side adventure. Marcel just seemed to want to show you places he liked. Porco kept watch and did not get close to you until the end of your brief tour. He must have decided he liked you too, because he placed a flower in your hair.
It pleased you that the three bullmen you’d work with felt comfortable with you on your first day. It wasn’t grounds for letting your guard down, but every handler was in awe that all three of the aggressive males seemed so calm in your presence.
Now, going forward to build trust, you were the one who would be their main handler. You fed them and cared for them. They let you near to groom them too. That even included ornery Porco. You established a routine quickly, and you were what they looked forward to every day.
One goal was to get these three in shape for competition and get one to mate with Pieck. All of them seemed interested in everything you did and said. They learned and followed your commands. To your surprise, they were more than willing to do most of everything you asked to prepare for competition. Not a one of them showed interest in Pieck and it was frustrating because every time you asked about why, they shrugged or just avoided answering your question. You swore they collectively took an interest in you, but you denied that ridiculous idea. They just wanted to please their handler, nothing more.
You spent time with Reiner separately from Porco and Marcel. All the bullmen spent equal amounts of time with you, but Reiner was always the most torn up about you leaving his side. He was always wide-eyed and did that little bleating thing that made your heart feel like someone stabbed it with a fork and twisted it. Now, Porco hated smelling Reiner’s scent on you, so he did everything he could to remove it. He urinated on you once, and you harshly scolded him for such awful behavior. Porco was sour for an entire week and he took it out on every human who came too close. Marcel didn’t care if you smelt like Reiner. He always laid his head in your lap without a care in the world while Porco showed off how cool and fast he was.
They became excessively needy for your time and attention as months passed. Porco finally had enough of trying to douse Reiner’s scent from you one day, so he cornered Reiner to show dominance and dissuade him from interacting with you. They got in a huge fight and Reiner had to be put up for a while again, however this worked more in Reiner’s favor because you spent more time with him while he recovered. And boy, did he ham it up.
Tension got worse when Porco noticed Reiner give you some little trinket he found one day. That’s when the competition between the males for your attention really popped off.
Reiner brought you a flower, and Porco would bring you ten. Porco would bring you a rock, and Reiner brought you five. They had to be moved to separate pastures because the fighting became an almost daily occurrence. Marcel would get involved too and overpower both bulls. Reiner and Porco bellowed at one another despite being separated, until Zeke ultimately shouted once, shutting them all up for the day.
In their minds, they were competing for you and for the honor of being your mate, but you were still in denial about that until, one day, it all became way too obvious for you to ignore.
Reiner waited in anticipation to hear you enter the bull pen every morning. In his mind, he was dancing because he loved to see you after being separated from you for the night. You always came to groom him first, right after waking up, and the time you spent together during your morning ritual meant so much to him. But today, you were late, and he got antsy. Porco and Marcel went off to their field already, but Reiner refused to budge, even threatening the other handlers to keep them away. Out of all of them, Reiner was the most obsessed with you.
His ears perked up when he heard the hinges of the main entry door squeak. Midmorning sun light flooded in as you pushed the heavy barn door aside with a soft grunt. His tail flicked happily and then he paused as he looked you over. You were still in your thigh length night gown. Your housing unit was within a quick walking distance to the bullpen, so you quickly came to get Reiner fed because you knew how stubborn he was. You planned on getting ready for the day after he was happily munching away on his food.
“Running behind this morning,” you huffed. “Stayed up too late last night compiling data. Please forgive me. I know you waited for me.”
He gazed at your form, and it was the first time he noticed certain things about you that made him feel funny. The straps on your shoulders were thin and the cut on your neck was low. He could see down into your snug cleavage, and the sight of it made him lick his lips.
The way your top hugged your curves made his eyes wander. His nostrils flared when he noticed your nipples perked up beneath the fabric because of the chilled air. He wondered if you produced milk like cattle. What would it taste like? Could he milk you?
Something about the idea hit differently. He shifted his stance because his balls suddenly felt uncomfortably heavy. He could feel them swell, gathering his load as if he were readying to mate. It was time for his seasonal rut, and you were ideal to him in every way. He tilted his head up, snorting, then inhaling sharply to see if you were ready to be bred. He picked up your scent, but it wasn’t the one he wanted. You weren’t fertile yet. Your scent still caused a reaction. He looked down at himself. His cock throbbed and peeked from his velvety sheath. He watched it grow with each pulse, and his mind spiraled further as the rut took hold.
He wanted to know what it felt like to touch you. He wanted to taste every inch of you and commit your scent to memory. Reiner wanted to breed his sweet little human and see your belly round with his offspring. He wanted to suckle at your breast when they were full of milk while he impregnated you again and again every season. He’d care for you endlessly while you gave him many offspring. Drool fell from the corner of his mouth at the thought of fucking into you now and you were oblivious to what was happening.
You were out the door, gathering up vegetables to prepare with his breakfast, and Reiner kept his gaze set on you from a far. He wasn’t used to have an erection like this. Your fertile scent hadn’t caused it. He knew your regular scent well enough. It was just the sight of certain things he hadn’t noticed before. Or maybe he noticed them before, but they didn’t matter until he hit his season. He didn’t know, nor did he care.
He was fully hard now. Every time you bent down, he wanted to mount you and stuff you full of him. He wanted to make you his and ingrained your scent into his olfactory glands. You’d be his mate for life.
You put the bucket away and sighed as you looked up to see where Reiner went off to. His breakfast was ready, and normally he was on your heels, eager to assist, but not today. He was being so quiet this morning. So you went back inside to look for him.
You gasped when you noticed his hardened length, out for the first time in your presence. His dilated eyes stared at you with strong desire. He breathed heavily and looked as though he would lunge at you at any moment.
Color bloomed across your cheeks as you gawked at the horny male. Pre pooled at his tip’s opening, and you watched it ooze down his flushed, deep red head only to drip to the stone ground beneath him. His balls were so big, heavy, and full. You’d never seen them expanded so much. Not that you looked at his package for anything except research.
“You breakfast is ready,” you muttered as you hurried off, eager to put distance between you and the aroused bull. He snorted loudly as if he disapproved entirely of your sudden departure. He even stamped one of his hooved feet. Reiner was never aggressive towards you, but just then, he showed he could be. This was the first time you experienced a bullman during his rut.
When you came back after breakfast wearing actual clothes, he seemed fine. You understood you had to be careful about the things she wore in front of him. You didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Still, your mind wandered to the image of his long, thick cock. It was a dangerous thing to let your mind tumble down the rabbit hole of scenarios with him. No good could come of it.
You noticed minor changes in him as the days wore on after that moment. The rut completely dominating his brain. Reiner looked at you much longer than normal, obviously fantasizing about what he wanted to do to you. He became more protective, bellowing at anyone who came near, even other handlers. He hovered over you constantly and his erections became more frequent. Didn’t matter what you wore. Didn’t matter what was happening. His balls ached terribly, and his temper rivaled Porco’s on his worst days. He was always so patient with you, but even you made him irritated because he wanted to mate you and you weren’t showing any interest. He had to win you over. So; he started courting you the only way a bullman knew how.
You received more gifts from him. He showed off his strength. He strutted and let you see his erections to let you know he was ready to mate. You didn’t acknowledge his display publicly, but it affected you as your mind wandered further down a forbidden path of unnatural fantasies. The idea of him came to you late at night when you were alone in your bed. You wondered how it felt to be fucked by him. After you got yourself off, you settled into a nice bath and went to sleep, suppressing the idea until the following night.
Reiner smelled your arousal as time went on, and it got to him. He wasn’t the only one. Porco and Marcel started displaying the same behaviors as Reiner and your perfectly balanced routine suddenly turned chaotic. Your normally docile bulls were full on rutting and they still didn’t give two shits about Pieck. Their eyes were on you.
You smelled so good and ripe, especially when you were fertile and today, Reiner noticed, you were at peak fertility. He had to claim you once and for all, squishing any chance of Porco or Marcel getting to you first.
He paced in the pen, watching you work with Colt while all the handlers took off for lunch. He caught your fertile scent and excused himself before he raged at Colt. His balls were so heavy they hurt. His aching dick throbbed angrily, dripping so much pre-cum that it made his coat sticky. He grunted and stamped his hoof, wishing he could calm down, but that would not happen now. Your scent was stuck in his nose.
You entered to check on him because you noted his absence and he stared at you, drooling, glaring, wanting to fuck his seed into you.
“Reiner...”
He let out a powerful snort and paced in front of you, eyes fixated, cock inflamed. His flow of pre increased as his balls tightened further into him. He was ready to mate you now because your scent was so strong, and it was driving him crazy. If Porco and Marcel got near you today, they would figure out you were ripe, and Reiner could lose his chance. Still, he didn’t want to force you to decide. No, he was a good bull. You told him that all the time.
“Need....you to leave till I’m calm,” he warned.
“Should I get Pieck for you?” you questioned.
“N-NO,” he growled, slamming his fist into the wall as he made himself to look away from you. He panted with his tongue lulling out as he forced himself to stay in place. “Want you...don’t want cow. Don’t want cowlady Pieck. Want...you. Want to breed you.”
“Reiner...it can’t be that way.”
“Am...am I not good enough to mate with?” He asked. His voice cracked, and it made you sad. “I am strong. I show you all the time. I bring you gifts. I prove I am capable and best mate for you. No one better than me. Not Marcel. Not Porco. I give you strong children. I protect you. I can provide. I am best for you and I’ll fight for you.” He paused to breathe. Of course, everything he said was so jumbled and frantic that it barely made sense to you.
“So pretty. Make beautiful children with pretty hair. So strong. So kind. So smart. So caring. I want you as my mate. No one else. “
“You want me?” you asked as if you didn’t already know. “A human?”
Reiner nodded quickly. “I want you...don’t want others. Just...you. Please...pick me. Not Pock or Marcel. Me. I take care of you. Give you many children. Give you much affection. Protect you always.”
“It’s against the law and policy for us to have relations,” you explained. “I will be fired and you will never see me again.”
Reiner looked to the side and shook his head. He didn’t understand what you were saying about laws and policies. What he understood was that if he mated you, he would never see you again, and that hurt him more than anything. “No…no, no! No leave. I won’t….I won’t let you.”
You stepped forward, and he flinched as you drew near. “There’s one other thing I can do, though. Let me help you with your problem.”
“No, not safe,” Reiner whined.
“Shh, sweet bull, it’s okay,” you cooed. “You’re aching, aren’t you? Your balls are so full. Let me help you. I can make you feel good, maybe ease your frustration.”
He was still seething with lust when you pressed her body against his back and reached around from behind to grasp his length below his medial cock ring.
“So much pre,” you observed as your hand slid over him with ease. “You’re lubricated for me already. Let me make you feel good, Reiner. Let’s get you a release. Maybe I can calm you down.”
As you started pumping his dick, he groaned and flexed in your hand. He leaned forward to brace himself against the wall and he widened his stance as you jerked his cock. He started bucking his hips, thrusting into your hand, grunting and moaning like an animal in heat.
“Such a big cock, Reiner,” you murmured. “What a powerful, mighty male. So handsome. So strong and proud.”
He fucked into your hand faster as you complemented him and then you reached around with your other free hand and gently fondled his swollen velvety balls.
“Mmm, you’ve got such huge, full balls,” you gasped. “So plump with cum.”
He stuttered his thrusting and reared his head back, letting out a cross between a bellow and a sigh as you fondled and massaged his jewels. And of course, that noise was heard across the field alerting Porco and Marcel. It wasn’t a challenging call. No, it was a mating below! And from Reiner. Porco and Marcel bristled and charged toward the bullpen.
Reiner’s tongue hung out and drool dripped from his chin as he keep thrusting into your hand, wishing it were your pussy.
“Wanna mate me?” you questioned, teasing him more than anything. “Wanna make me yours? Wanna see my belly round with your calflings? Wanna suckle the milk for my tits, Reiner? Wanna keep me perpetually filled with your seed?”
Again, he reared his head back, bellowing louder, even stomping his hoof. You swore you heard Porco and Marcel respond, but perhaps that was all in your imagination.
“I see how you look at me like I’m just something for you to stick your dick in and breed. Bet your cum feels good dripping down my abused cunt after you’ve fucked me. How big are you, my sweet bull? 12 maybe 13 inches? Your girth is so much. Can’t even close my hand around it. You can’t fit into my little pussy to mate with me. You’re just too goddamn big.”
He was shaking, trembling from head to tail as your words tormented his mind.
“But that’s okay, Reiner. I’ll get you off. I’ll help you cum. Make you feel good and release that build up you’ve got. You’re such a naughty, horny bull. Thinking of me like I’m your little breedable fuck toy.”
Your eyes grew heavy, and you released your hold of his balls. You were worked up now too, and you needed to join in on the fun. It wasn’t fair to you if you didn’t get off, too. You dipped your hands into your pants and pressed into your clit. The heavy scent of your arousal curled into Reiner’s nose. He rolled his eyes back as his cock flexed and despite his want to cum, it just would not happen. Not unless he was deep in your tight hole for him to properly breed.
His ears flicked as he heard you groaning, and he wanted to know what was making you create such a beautiful sound. Your grip lessened on his length, and he turned to see your hand down your pants. A nice wet spot formed on your clothes. It was heavy with that fertile scent he loved. Pre surged once more from his tip, and his balls jumped up at the sudden thought of mating preparation.
“S-such...a dirty, horny bull,” you gasped. “With such a gigantic cock! I want to taste you.”
His eyes widened as you crouched before him and grasped his hips. You licked your lips as you hovered over the mass of his deep red inflamed head. He did not know what you were doing, but the moment your mouth took his tip and you moaned into it while you suckled, he fell apart. You gasped between attempts to take more of him in your mouth and he thrust lightly as your hands clutched his length once more. You milked his fat cock, and it felt so good, but it still would not make him cum, despite your best efforts.
“Let me drink your cum, Reiner,” you moaned.
“No,” he gasped. “Want...mate...you. Need to breed you.”
And suddenly, the dangerous game you were playing fell out of your favor. Reiner grasped your neck and, with a turn of his wrist, he pushed your head away, only to force you down to the ground. You choked as you fell to your hands and knees. He was behind you in seconds, ripping your pants off your being to expose your sex to him.
“Reiner! We can’t!” you shouted, but you’d be lying if you said you really didn’t want it. Your desperate plea was just the last bit of your sound logic leaving you, because the reality was you thought about this moment for quite some time.
Reiner shoved his face into your wet cunt. The flat of his tongue ran up your slit all the way to your ass. He lapped and dove his tongue into your puckered hole. It was so thick and rough, but it felt so goddamn good. He circled it around, twisted and fucked your ass while slurping wickedly. He brought his lips down to eat it voraciously, like he hadn’t had a meal in months.
“Finger fuck me while you do it,” you managed to somehow command.
He paused, looked down at his fingers, and thought of you and what you were doing to yourself when you tried jacking him off. Of course, you used your fingers to make that sound he loved, and he wanted to hear it again. With a curious expression, he played with your folds, touching them, spreading your lips to observe how it made you react, and then you reached back and guided his touch because you became so impatient with his stalling. You showed him your clit, and you put two of his fingers in your folds. You moved your hips to fuck yourself on his hand and then it all suddenly made sense to Reiner.
Soon, you weren’t able to focus on moving because he was lapping at your ass and pumping his arm while he pleasured you like a god with those thick digits.
“Fuck yes, such a good obedient bull! Finger fucking your mate while you eat my ass! So, good Reiner. Don’t stop! Please, it feels so good.”
To have you belt out those words...to have you sounding so sweet, it was all music to his hears. He worked his arm and ate you out until your scent was too much to stand. He had to make this official by imprinting your scent within him permanently. So, he pulled out his fingers and licked them clean before diving nose first into your cunt. He inhaled you deeply and lapped up your slick while his tongue massaged your clit. You fucked his face as he worked, and he engraved your scent into his being. Once finished, it was time to breed his new mate.
“Gonna breed me?” you panted. “Do it then. Fuck me like a good bull.”
He lined his engorged tip up to you and, to his surprise, you began pushing him into your depths the moment you felt his heat. He gasped as you took his length in and moved your hips to coat it with your wetness. You slowly took more of his girth, until you came to his thick, fleshy medial ring.
He stretched with his abnormal size, as it was. Getting beyond the ring required a little more work. So, for now, you fucked what you had inside yourself. Reiner’s hands grasped your hips when you moved them forward and back along his dick. You squeezed his thick member as it glided within your folds.
“Feels....good!” he groaned before releasing another mating below. “Never felt this before!”
“Mmmm, your cock is so much to take, Reiner,” you moaned as you rolled your hips and clenched each time you pulled your abdomen forward. You milked him, pulling at his length to coax out his cum. Because, for some stupid reason, you wanted it so damn badly. He made you feel like a bitch in heat and, in the smallest part of your mind, you thought it was all strange. You couldn’t think clearly about it now. Not with his dick so deep inside you.
Your mouth parted, and you closed your eyes to concentrate on your movements, to push him further inside you. His tip pressed against your cervix, kissing it with each dip of your being. Then you changed your rhythm. You rotated your hips clockwise and suddenly, his medial ring slipped into your opening. It was such a painful feeling and truthfully; it was only the beginning.
Your walls clenched in surprise, and you halted your movements because the pain was too much to bear. He needed to continue because he was oh so close to his finale. Reiner took control and thrusted upward with deep rhythmic motions that matched your previous love making. He stuttered for a moment, because his medial ring expanded. Then he resumed with a brutal, ruthless pace.
You braced herself against the ground as he rutted into you, nudging deeper into your belly even though you felt you couldn’t take anymore. Your stomach bulged as he growled, fucking into you with so much ferocity. Your knees became raw with each wild snap of his hips. You were groaning, crying out his name so loudly that he swore your voice echoed for miles. And it did, because now Porco and Marcel realized it was you Reiner was mating with.
“Such a good bull! Fucking your dick into me. Mmmm, keep mating with me. Fuck your thick seed into me, Reiner!”
Hearing that you wanted his release made him force you down further, tearing the skin of your knees in the process as he speared himself into you. You screamed as he held you in place to get used to the feeling of all his dick. Then he resumed fucking into you with such dominant savagery that you were a fucked out, babbling, crying fool.
The ring around his length expanded fully, fitting snuggly in place and the moment he could no longer thrust, his length pulsed and his cum shot into your womb. Rope after lengthy rope flooded into you until your tummy inflated from the mass of his seed.
He let out a mighty, thunderous bellow as his balls emptied, shrinking to their normal size for the first time in weeks. It was such a relief and now the entire farm knew you belonged to him. You whimpered as your stomach tightened to accommodate his massive load. He remained plugged into you with that expanded medial ring and there was no leaving the position until he became flaccid.
“My little mate,” he cooed, while he gently moved your hair that obscured your face behind your ears. “You take me so well for having a small body. You will be swollen with child soon. I care for you when happens. So beautiful. I want to mate with you often. Feels so good.”
Something slammed into the bullpen entry door and suddenly it was pulled open with a horrifying force. You cried out, expecting it to be Farmer Magath or perhaps one of the handlers, but no. It was Porco, and he was staring at the two of you, all wild-eyed and furious. He tilted his head to the side as he observed the two of you knotted together. He let out this horrifying bellow that almost sounded like a cry of anguish.
“YOU!” he growled as he glared at Reiner. “YOU touched her! How dare you…touch what belongs to me and my brother! I’ll rip your throat out!”
Marcel step forward, calmly touching his brother as if to dismiss him. He glanced over the two of you and then he lifted his head into the air, taking in a strong inhale. “It hasn’t taken…still fresh. We can drown out his seed with ours and make her ours.”
“I’ve imprinted her,” Reiner snarled. “She belongs to me!”
“Why do I smell fertile scent then?” Marcel growled. “Is this a human thing? Imprinting should take away the scent. No, we can still claim her.”
“We’re wasting time!” snarled Porco.
Reiner bellowed, challenging them, but there wasn’t anything he could do until his cock softened. There was nothing Porco and Marcel could do, either. None of them wanted to hurt you.
“Scent is still strong,” Marcel pointed out. “Can have multiple mates, I think.”
“No,” Porco huffed. “Ours. Not Reiner’s. Ours!”
You had no idea this was how your day was going to go. Being fucked by one bullman was already enough. Now there were two more who wanted a piece of you.
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Together We Stand {Roman Reigns x Wife!Reader}
TRIGGER WARNING: Loss of Child. (Happy ending though)
Requested: Undertaker!Daughter//Kane!Uncle//Roman Reigns!Husband where the reader and Roman were going to have a baby but then they lost it and the reader is so upset she can't even face Roman because she blames herself and then the Undertaker and Kane call in Lita to talk to her and it ends happy? I know it's a sensitive subject and I understand if you won't do it but I am hoping you will!
Words: 1,900
ENJOY:
It’s all my fault.
It’s all my fault.
It’s all my fault.
That was the only thing running through your head as you lay curled up on the blue sofa in the back of the arena in an office area alone. Your hands lay on your flat stomach that had once been swollen with your child. Now it was flat, and your child was lost.
It’s all my fault.
You could hear the dull screams of the crowd that had come to see Monday Night Raw. It was almost like a numb buzz in your ears. You just stared blankly at the wooden desk that sat a few feet in front of you. You blankly gazed at the lines and grooves that had once been the bark of a tree, only to be morphed into something less beautiful.
Watching from the doorway anxiously was Stephanie McMahon. All the female wrestlers and male wrestlers had been super supportive but the females had been almost like a flock saving one of their own. They each spent time with you when they could never letting you out of their sight. It had been a few weeks since you had lost the child and you weren’t doing so well. After about a week you had slowly become more distant from your husband Roman and had been quieter and almost avoiding him. Roman understood you needed time but it hurt him to see you pulling away from him like this. He wanted to help you in your time of need and he secretly begged for you to come closer to him for he had also just lost his child. He wasn’t going to lose his wife too.
“(Y/N)?” You heard Stephanie’s soft voice. You looked over and saw her looking at you, her blue eyes soft and bright. You sat up and moved allowing her to sit down beside you. “I brought you some water sweetheart.” She said and looking down you then saw the cup in her hand with the clear liquid. You smiled and took it. “Thanks Steph.” You said. She smiled and put a hand on your arm and gave it a squeeze. “How are you holding up sweetheart?” She asked. You took a sip of the water and sighed staring at the cup in your hands. “I’m heartbroken. I feel like I did something wrong! It had to be my fault! I just can’t figure out what!” You said honestly and it was painful to admit. Stephanie nodded in understanding. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through sweetheart. But I’m here if you need anything.” The woman said softly. You smiled and nodded meeting her eyes with your (Y/E/C) ones. “Thank you.” You said. She smiled and stood up and walked towards the door. She then stepped outside to meet your father, Mark Calaway aka the Undertaker, Glenn Jacobs or Kane or as you called him “Uncle Glenn” and your husband Roman Reigns. Stephanie quietly closed the door and sighed.
“How’s she doing?” Mark asked the brunette woman. Stephanie sighed in a hushed voice. “She’s heartbroken Mark! She thinks that she was the one who caused the loss of child and I think that’s why she’s avoiding you Roman. She’s afraid you’ll blame her for the loss and she can’t face that.” Stephanie said. Roman looked down at his feet his throat tightening at the thought of you blaming yourself so harshly for this. “It wasn’t her fault Stephanie. It was just an accident. An imbalance is what the doctors said—.”
“She still feels like its her fault.” Stephanie said shaking her head. “If only there were some way we could try and make her understand that it wasn’t her fault.” Stephanie said. Roman sighed and looked down. “I’ve tried everything.” He said.
“I think I have someone who might help.” Kane said softly. Everyone turned to him. “Who?” Roman said taking a step towards the man.
“Lita. Maybe if (Y/N) talks with someone who’s also lost a child, maybe Lita could make her see that it wasn’t her fault.” Kane suggested. Mark nodded, his lips pursed. It was so heartbreaking to see his daughter like this. He had done everything he could to be there for her in her time of sorrow. But even as a father there was nothing he could do to get through to you. He let out a sigh and nodded. “It’s worth a try. It might work.” He said.
“I can help if you’d like.” A voice piped up from the darkness.
All eyes turned towards where the voice had come from. Stepping out from the shadows stood—Paige. She looked at them and nodded. “I...I know what she’s going through…I’d like to help her.” She said. Roman smiled and stepped forward towards the girl and put and hand on her shoulder. “Thank you Paige.” He said. The raven haired girl gave a small nod and smile. Kane then nodded. “I’ll call Lita.” He said quickly going down the hall to the men’s locker room.
Lita aka Amy Dumas when she heard what was going on immediately agreed and luckily for everyone she only lived a short while away from the venue which was being held in San Francisco. Within an hour she was at the venue.
You had moved from the room to the female locker room which was currently empty. You enjoyed sitting there at your cubby that you used when you used to wrestle. In the corner of the room was a flat screen with the matches on. You inhaled the scent of wood cleaner, sweat and febreeze in the locker room and it brought you comfort, for you had a lot of happy memories here. It was your safe space.
The door to the locker room opened and you jerked your head up to see Paige walk in. “Hey Paige.” You said. The British woman smiled and she walked over to hug you. “Hey love.” She said. “I have a surprise for you!” She said. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “What?” You asked. She smiled. “There’s someone her to see you.” She said. Suddenly the door opened and in walked Lita.
“LITA!” You said completely surprised and for the first time in a while—elated. Lita smiled and engulfed you into a hug. “Hi (Y/N)!” She said giving you a fierce hug. “It’s so good to see you!” You said hugging the dark haired woman tightly. She smiled. “It’s great to see you.” She said softly. You pulled away from each other and you saw Lita’s face soften. “I’m sorry about the baby.” She said softly. You felt your throat tighten and you nodded. “Thank you.” You said.
Lita then gave you a look that you knew far too well from other people giving it to you. She wants to talk. You thought to yourself.
“I’m going to be honest with you (Y/N).” She said. “Kane called me and he and Taker and Roman are worried about you sweetheart. As am I.” She said. You nodded and sat down. Lita continued. “Roman says you’ve been distant and he and the others just want to help.” She said. You felt the tears start to roll down your eyes. “I know…I’m just afraid to face Roman.” You said. Lita and Paige sat down beside you. “Why sweetheart?” Lita asked. You shook your head. “I just feel like it’s my fault that we lost our baby.” You said your voice strained. Lita felt her heart drop as did Paige. “(Y/N), I understand what you’re going through.” Paige said. You looked up and blinked surprised. “You do?” You asked. The young woman nodded. “When I was young I found out I was pregnant and I was really happy. It was unexpected and I was scared and wished it hadn’t happened to me so young but that didn’t mean I wasn’t happy.” She said. “And like you…I lost the child. I thought it was all my fault for I kept telling myself it had to be something I did!” She said her own voice cracking. “But then I realized that I did everything right and that it was an accident. Things like that happen and it’s nobody’s fault sweetheart.” She said softly.
Lita nodded. “Paige’s right (Y/N).” She said. “When Kane and I lost the baby I was devastated. You know Kane and I didn’t get along but that child was what kept us going. Something that gave us both happiness and hope. You were luckier than me. You have a man who loves you as much as you love him. And he’s dealing with this loss too. He’s trying to be there for you and wants to be there for you. He doesn’t blame you.” Lita said. “The doctors said that it was a hormonal imbalance that caused the contractions to start early. It was nothing that you could have done. It’s more common than you think sweetheart.” Lita said. You nodded. “Yeah I know but I just…” You said tears now streaming from your eyes. Lita got up and grabbed a box of tissues handing you one, which you took gratefully. “Understand this—it wasn’t your fault.” She said. “Do you understand that?” She asked. You nodded sniffling. She smiled. “I know it’s hard now but trust me it will get better. But with Roman by your side and you by his you can get through this together.” Lita said. You nodded. “Thank you Lita.” You said with a smile. The hall of famer smiled and you both shared a hug. “I’m always here for you sweetheart.” She said. You smiled. “I know.” You said. You then turned to Paige. “Thank you too.” You said. Paige nodded and you both shared a hug. “I need to go see Roman.” You said softly. The girls nodded and you quickly left them.
Luckily Roman being worried about you was close for he wanted to be there if anything happened. You quickly saw him talking with your father and Glenn and you couldn’t help but feel secure just seeing him. “ROMAN!” you cried out. All three men looked up and you began to walk quickly down the hall. Roman began to walk towards you. You then began to jog slowly and Roman did the same. Then you were full on running and you ran right into his arms. He picked up you and pulled you to him giving you a huge hug his hand going to the back of your head. You then realized you were crying. “I’m sorry Roman. I’m so sorry.” You said. He kissed your forehead and lifted your chin so that you were looking up at him. He shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. We’re going to get through this together. I’m going to be there every step of the way!” He said fiercely. You smiled and nodded. “I know.” You said. You then slammed your lips onto his. Your tears made the kiss salty and when you broke apart from your kiss Roman wiped away your tears with a thumb. “I love you (Y/N). I always have and always will.” He said. You couldn’t help but smile. “I love you too.” You said.
You then together walked towards your father and Glenn in each other’s embrace. You were going to get through this. Together.
#wwe one shot#wwe#roman reigns#x reader#reader insert#female reader#trigger#caps warning#loss#happy ending#the undertaker#undertaker daughter#kane and lita#uncle kane#I miss Lita#wwe paige#Stephanie mcmahon
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Gooooooood Afternoon my dear reader! And how are we all? Good? Good! The weekly theme blog this week will focus on my love of Lita . So, sit back & relax.
When I first discovered wrestling as a weird child flicking through sky channels on a Friday Night, I think like most my exposure to this whole new world was WWE. Superstars at the time. A weekly wrestling show, with little to no (I can’t remember any!!) Women’s Wrestling exposure. Which is a shame cause move a few years down the line, my mind was opened. I think the first female I really noticed in wrestling would come well into my teen years, and it wasn’t the obvious Sable/Sunny/Trish insert blonde supermodel lookalike name here. No disrespect, those names are all worthy of a notable mention! Just wasn’t cup of tea!
No, my cup of tea came with a flame haired, differently dressed from the rest, daredevil type called Lita. She could kick it with the boys, she could flip, moonsault & above all had this real punk rock attitude I was drawn to at the time. She was different, not your average sculptured eye candy wrestler. She actually wrestled. And my mind at the time was blown. I was sucked in by this vixen on my screen!! To this day my weakness is the dyed red haired look!
But back on subject here, that was my love of women’s wrestling beginning. But something then at the time was odd. Off maybe. It was the tagline of ‘Divas’. Today even, I cringe looking back at that era of wrestling sometimes. I hated the term & everything it stood for, I felt these ladies deserved a grander stage than eye candy. I believed & argued that given the chance the Lita’s of this world could battle on a stage and win your hearts. But this was the late 90’s and the ‘lads’ in the school yard of course did not watch for the moves. I kept my opinions on the Divas tag to myself. For now..
Fast forward into the 2000’s, and something happened. It was a Monday Night Raw (still Friday over here in the UK at the time) and the main events were usually reserved for your Stone Cold’s, Rocks etc but WWE took a plunge one evening and made a women’s match the main. YES! Finally! My heart was giddy that Lita was getting her push. Women’s Wrestling was getting an exposure it deserved!! Lita & Trish stole the FUCKING show on that evening. December 6 2004. The night I jumped around my parents living room & watched 2 women steal the damn show & prove their worth.
Was it the image that this women on my screen was enticing me in with? Was it the fact she’d Moonsault men with ease? Was it the fact her jeans were so far down her underwear was showing teasingly? Maybe not the last one, we are more than eye candy remember ladies! But the rest yes, I’ll combine those. She could battle, fight, kick arse & look good doing it.
This was not of course a one off. Lita would go on to become a multi time Women’s Champion, a WWE Hall of Famer, manage a WWE Champion in Edge & would manage the Hardy Boys to victory over years. She would be involved in major storylines, get major screen time weekly & be given a spotlight to shine in. FINALLY! In a mans world the ladies got a shot.
In her Hall of Fame speech in 2014, Lita encouraged the next generation to, quote, ‘find their punk rock’. And rewatching that moment at the time I figured it. It’d took a few years of fandom but it was the lightbulb moment. Lita was more than another wrestler, she was just like us. Inspired by the same influences we were growing up, with the same ideals and values.
In one of two meetings with the lady herself I plucked up the courage to thank her for everything she stood for. She held up the meet & greet line, held my hand and went ‘man, I love what punk means’. I never ever forgot this, the second meeting in a Liverpool convention centre asking ME about my tattoos. Me?! No no you don’t understand saying hello took me years of building up. I had not planned beyond!
Amy Dumas. Lita. Whichever you prefer. PunkNRasslin salute you and everything you stand for. A change in a world that so desperately needed it. In a male dominated world, a ‘girl’ kicking butt! No, this isn’t the clichè ‘One of the boys’ , it’s so so much more. It’s for the young girl looking for a role model. The teenager searching for a belief.
Not ‘womens wrestling’ at its best. Just wrestling.
Thanks for reading & enjoy the rest of your week,
Jx
Blog soundtracked by.. Letlive
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APRIL 30, 1992. NBC’s The Cosby Show ended its run as the United States’s best-case scenario: Negroes not of its dreams. The situation comedy wrapped one day after a bunch of black guys beat the shit out of Reginald Denny at Florence and Normandie. A quarter-century or so ago, America’s racial schism peaked enough to make our Trump stuff look like chump change.
A month or so after that unmasking of day and night, Darius James’s phantasmagoric dark satire Negrophobia was published. Spoiler alert: James’s debut novel was not a healing tonic for its times.
But it could be one for ours.
Published by Carol/Citadel Publishing over 25 years ago and rereleased this month by New York Review Books, Negrophobia blends satirical narrative propulsion with sci-fi through a 21st-century scenario, stocked with characters based on the most husky and dusky 20th-century racist stereotypes. Among the parade passing through James’s political nightmare are horror versions of Race Subconscious Hall of Fame players: Elvis, Malcolm X, and Walt Disney.
Last century’s broadly digested racist cartoons drive both the James style of storytelling and the substance of his comment. The script is full of action that leaps about like a stereotype-mining Tex Avery short one might have taken in before a film like as Gone with the Wind, as a kind of appetizer. The story James told a quarter-century ago turns aggressively sci-fi as it leans on an endless stream of lies about black people that were cool with your grandparents’ generation. And these monsters from their minds are lampooned deadeye.
James’s twisted beasts engage in a cascade of violent strife. The book’s most engaging star and primary signifier: A delinquent teen girl best described in 2019 as a cross between Paris Hilton and Little Annie Fannie. (In an email exchange, the author told me the female character was inspired by the latter ’60s-era Playboy comic and Terry Southern’s novel Candy.) Her name is Bubbles Brazil. A whole bunch of bad things of a sexual nature happen to Bubbles, and if you’re the sort of reader who found him or herself halfway triggered by the title of this book in itself, Negrophobia sho’ nuff ain’t the book for you.
Which doesn’t make it not a book for the times.
James credits voudou in his lineage as a kind of co-pilot. Composed in the form of a movie script, Negrophobia from its very first sentence comes across as conjured. Be it conjured or hallucinated, the piece could only have been created in that the 395-year epoch before black lives began mattering on this here soil. When mass stereotypes went unquestioned and famous Negroes danced for chicken on TV. Out of this rich cultural content, the author cultivates extreme black caricatures to play in Bubbles’s mind. The comic narrative, one disturbing image diving in after its predecessor, is capable of producing a laugh and a wince per page.
James’s “screenplay” gives minimal internal motivation, just the raw expression of devious acts and racial distortion. “TEEN SEX-BOMB BLOND” is how Bubbles is introduced to us.
So delinquent is Bubbles that she’s forced to attend an all-black public high school in New York City. And Bubbles ain’t into it like Ann Coulter ain’t into Day of the Dead activities. Which is to say Not At All, and for good reason: the blacks inhabiting the mind of Bubbles Brazil — the one she’s matriculating with in her dreams — are literally The Worst Black Folks Imaginable. Monstrously bad. Graphically terrible.
The Maid, Bubbles’s Act One archenemy, resembles a demonic and funky-ass Nell Carter, illiterate as all get out. She’s a big beast in Bubbles’s mind. Only when The Maid enters do the proceedings turn truly, mind-blowingly shameful.
BUBBLES
What’s a white girl to do in a school full of jiggaboos?
MAID
Mind her business. Yo’ parents spent all dat money sending’ yo butt off to fancy private schools. ‘N’ whatchoo do? Get hot little boll-daga ass thrown out!! ‘N’ den you end up in a crazy house fo’ rich dope fiends! Face it, you just’ gonna’ hafta put up wid dem niggas.
Reading satisfaction results will vary. As a 52-year-old black American male, the humiliation of having been stereotyped provides the book its gravity. If you’re a white American of about my age, you might be enjoying the mouth-feel of James well-wrought coon-speak. In your case, reading Negrophobia might feel like a treasured childhood brand returning to the local supermarket.
In Negrophobia, the previous century’s popular culture runs deep. Bubbles Brazil attends Donald Goines Senior High School. Lawn jockeys come to life. A take on Our Town in which Grover’s Corner is now Garvey’s Corner is in the play’s changes. Buppets are black muppet B-Boys in T-shirts that say, “IT’S A DICK THAANG! YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.” Shelley Winters gets summoned back from Wild in the Streets. Unfrozen President-for-Life Walt Disney delivers a really fucked-up speech. Bernhard Goetz makes a chilling appearance. And, of course there is zombie Elvis. Hellish-Manhattan trains and apocalyptic scenarios tap into the absurdity of America’s racial horror show, late-20th-century-style.
Always in play is shame. James weaponizes the indignity through razor-sharp send-ups that are as lean as poetry, scene after scene.
For this reader there’s a strange kind of gratitude, if not thorough enjoyment for the reissue. I had all but forgotten that White America used to label my people as chicken thieves. And that there was a recurring media image of us filing down our own teeth, as African cannibals. I almost forgotten about hophead, jungle bunny jigaboo, spear-chucker, shine, jug, tar baby, boom blasters, coon, pickaninny, Jimson weed, and being called wool-headed, as our times no longer dictate that I remember. The language was not that far below the surface of my mind.
The worst Negroes imaginable, Darius James so artfully makes clear, live vividly in the culture of unedited cartoons. The sexual violence imposed upon his Downtown Little Annie Fannie echoes those Tex Avery and Warner Brothers reels. It’s a neat trick, loading their takes into Bubbles’s mind, because she and so many real-world characters have been unable to “imagine the existence of things outside [their] sum of knowledge.”
The idea to present James’s narrative in screenplay format came from the great and emotional darkie Michael O’Donoghue. James’s mentor and friend Terry Southern supported the development of it, as did Kathy Acker and Olympia Press. All over the pages of Negrophobia — nearly as much as mid-20th-century cartoon shorts — is the voice of Richard Pryor. Rudy Ray Moore and Ralph Bakshi are heavy in the mix. Steve Cannon’s in there, too.
Johnny Depp loved his first-edition copy of James’s book. Members of the band Fishbone read and related to it, and the painter Kara Walker said reading Negrophobia in grad school “was one of those good but rare occasions when I thought there might be one other person in the world that would get what I was doing.” Bill Cosby, James says in a new preface, forbade a daughter from bringing Negrophobia into his home.
James wrote a crazy punk book, bringing to the page an ethos of a Lower Manhattan in the ’80s scene that he frequented so as to turn the indie-lit party out. “He had a pedagogical intent throughout the book that can easily be missed in all the sex and grotesquerie,” D. Scot Miller, author of The Afro-Surreal Manifesto, told me in extolling James. “Afro-Surreal presupposes that beyond this visible world, there is an invisible world striving to manifest, and it is our job to uncover it.” Where before there had been scarcity of surrealism this side of Chameleon Street, Afro-Surrealism has become, if not widespread, reassuringly present in television shows like Random Acts of Flyness and Atlanta and the feature film Sorry to Bother You.
Negrophobia is “a brilliant book whose time has come and whose time has always been now,” as Amy Abugo Ongiri calls it in the introduction. Bubble’s dream would make for the dirtiest film in the history of world cinema, but I cannot help but think James’s notes on a film could be an event in the hands of Jordan Peele. Then, James could work on the script and add a scene with Race Subconscious Hall of Famer Christopher Dorner. If I have one complaint about the re-issue of Negrophobia, it’s that I am missing Christopher Dorner. Cannot stop thinking of him, even when I’m not.
¤
Donnell Alexander is a writer whose work has been featured in Time, The Nation, Al Jazeera’s “Inside Story,” and Economic Hardship Reporting Project.
The post Pedagogy in All the Sex and Grotesquerie: On Darius James’s “Negrophobia” appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.
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