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cheeandcha · 4 months

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RED AS HIS HEART YANG JUNGWON

Summary: Jungwon, the owner of a flower shop, is deeply smitten with a regular customer who shows a profound appreciation for his flowers and stories, you. Over time, Jungwon grows fond of you, often reserving unique blooms for your visits. Just as he plans to confess his feelings, Jungwon discovers the truth.

Pairing: Florist!Jungwon X Female!Reader

Genre: Slight of fluff, angst

Warning: None

Word count: 1.807 words

For Jungwon, you’re not only a regular customer of his flower shop. You were actually his favorite customer. Hell, you’re even his favorite person. Ever since you came to his shop four months ago, he noticed a distinct change in his mood whenever you walked through the door. Your presence brought a warmth and brightness that lingered long after you left the shop. He was captivated by your appreciation for the intangibles of each flower and your genuine curiosity about his stories.

Jungwon began to look forward to your visit, not only as a means of conducting business but also as an opportunity to get closer to you. He started setting aside unique and rare flowers, saving them specifically for when you came in, knowing you would appreciate their beauty and symbolism. An unexpected yet cherished friendship was formed due to your shared passion for flowers.

With each interaction, he discovered your personality that drew him in further—your friendliness, your generosity, your admiration for the simple things in life, and the interest you showed in his work. Jungwon often found himself arranging flowers with you in mind, using his imagination to evoke a range of emotions every time you encountered one of his masterpieces. You were his muse.

Today, he was planning to confess his feelings to you, eagerly waiting for your arrival at his shop. Usually, you would arrive promptly at three o’clock. He was staring at the clock that was hanging on the wall, counting every second by second.

Three, two, one!

The sound of the bell ringing filled his ears as you opened the door. “Jungwon!” You greeted him with your usual smile and radiant energy, which always brightened his day. He waved his hand slightly. “Good afternoon, (Name)!” Jungwon responded, his voice carrying a hint of excitement he couldn’t hide.

You took a moment to breathe in the fragrant air, glancing around to admire the colorful array of blooms. “You always have such a captivating selection. Anything new today?” Jungwon chuckled softly. “I’ve got some new orchids. Thought you might appreciate their intricate patterns. How’s your day been going?” You pondered thoughtfully as you tilted your head. “Busy with college, but seeing these flowers and chatting with you makes it all better! Tell me more about those orchids, please,” you said.

Jungwon guided you to a corner filled with orchids in various hues with a gentle gesture. “These are special; their patterns almost tell a story. I remember you mentioning once how you loved flowers with a history.” Your eyes lit up with curiosity as you leaned in to examine them closer. “You remembered! You have a good memory, Jungwon.” Your compliment made him smile warmly; he felt a rush of warmth at your compliment. “Only because I have customers like you who appreciate the beauty and stories.”

“These orchids do have a certain allure,” you admitted, your fingers lightly grazing the petals. “But I’ve also been curious about those yellow roses by the window. They seem to shimmer differently.” You turned your head where the yellow roses were placed. Jungwon followed your gaze, a knowing smile forming on his lips. “Ah, you have a keen eye, those roses are a variety known for their unique shimmer. It’s said that they capture the sunlight in a way that few other flowers can.”

You were enchanted, stepping closer to get a better look. “It’s as if they hold a piece of the sun within them,” you murmured, hypnotized by their radiant glow. “They’re unlike any roses I’ve ever seen.” Jungwon nodded. He was pleased by your reaction to the flower. Your words, spoken softly in awe, seemed to echo the sentiments he himself felt every time he looked upon them. It was magical to see another person appreciate the intricate details and profound beauty of nature as much as he did.

“The yellow rose,” he paused momentarily, making you look at him. “is often associated with feelings of joy, friendship, and new beginnings. Its radiant coloration not only symbolizes happiness but also represents the warmth and positive energy one can bring into another’s life.” While he explained the meaning of the flower, your eyes were set on him, watching him closely as you slowly smiled.

“Furthermore,” Jungwon added with a soft smile, “yellow roses can also convey a sense of appreciation and platonic love. They’re a beautiful way to express gratitude or to simply brighten someone’s day with a gesture of kindness.” He seemed to speak with such depth and emotion, making the flowers come alive with stories and symbolism. Your eyes met his, a newfound understanding dawning. “It’s fascinating how a flower can hold so much meaning and emotion,” you mused, clearly touched by the sentiment behind the blooms.

“You truly have an exquisite collection.” His cheeks warmed at your praise as he looked away shyly. He scratched the back of his neck, chuckling nervously. “Thank you.” When Jungwon met your appreciative gaze once more, he felt a mixture of emotions swirling within him. Your genuine compliment wasn’t just about the flowers; it touched upon the passion, dedication, and countless hours he had poured into curating the perfect collection for his customers.

The slight warmth in his cheeks intensified, a rosy hue mirroring the petals surrounding you both. Jungwon's heart started to beat more noticeably in contrast to the shop's background noise, which was usually calm, due to the budding connection and depth of your interaction. He felt a wave of vulnerability under his skin as he realized how much he valued your opinion. It wasn’t every day that someone truly recognized and praised the nuances of his work, and coming from you, it held particular significance.

“Oh, by the way, Jungwon. Can I get the usual?” A smile tugged at the corners of Jungwon’s lips, a hint of warmth evident in his eyes. “Coming right up,” he replied, moving gracefully to a familiar section of the shop where he meticulously prepared your preferred arrangement. Tuberose is the flower you often bought, and Jungwon knew that you bought it for your grandmother. As he began gathering the blooms, his hands moved with practiced ease, selecting each flower with care and attention to detail.

“Jungwon,” you called him with your soft voice, walking closer towards the counter and resting your hands above it. “Do you have any red carnations?” A subtle intrigue flashed across Jungwon’s eyes at your request. He observed how your fingers lightly grazed the countertop and sensed a deeper sentiment behind your inquiry. “Yes, I do,” he replied, his tone imbued with curiosity. “Great! I want those red carnations too!” you requested, clapping your hands in delight.

“Of course,” he said, offering a warm yet probing smile. Jungwon carefully gathered a fresh bundle of red carnations, their vibrant petals capturing the essence of passion and emotion. As he placed them gently beside the other item you had selected, he asked, “Red carnations are quite meaningful. Is there a special occasion for these red carnations?” He was trying not to look too curious, but he really wanted to know. What occasion are these carnations for? Who are these red carnations for?

“It’s for a birthday surprise.” You touched the petals of its flower, feeling the soft and delicate texture on your fingers. “Today is my boyfriend's birthday.” He could almost feel his heart stopping. Did he just hear correctly? Jungwon froze in place, the weight of your words settling heavily upon him. A surreal silence seemed to envelop the shop, every sound muted as your statement resonated within him. His heart, which moments ago beat steadily, now echoed a different rhythm, one of disbelief and quiet sorrow.

“He said he loves red carnations, so I want to surprise him with it.” Jungwon forced a smile and met your eyes with a slight change of his expression, his eyes searching for any sign of humor, hoping you were joking. “That’s really thoughtful of you,” he said, but there was a hint of hurt in his voice. Inside, a wave of emotions overwhelmed him, but on the outside, he continued to be the same for all these months. “Red carnations for my loved ones.” You chuckled at your own words.

Jungwon felt his stomach sink as the realization hit him that you were actually being serious. The two of you had been friends for months, but he had always hoped your relationship was more than that. Each memory of shared laughter, every lingering conversation, and the countless moments of mutual understanding played back in his mind. He had often found himself lost in thoughts, imagining scenarios where your friendship blossomed into something deeper, something more meaningful.

So what would he do now? Should he keep confess how he really feels about you? Would it ruin the friendship between the two of you? He couldn't stand the thought of losing you, so what course of action should he take?

“How much is everything?” Jungwon snapped back to reality, cleared his throat, and started counting the prices. “It would be ₩105.” You gave him the precise amount of cash. He took the money from you, quickly placing it in the register.

Taking a deep breath, Jungwon straightened, attempting to push aside the sudden surge of emotions. “I hope he appreciates the gesture,” he said softly, his voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. “Red carnations is a meaningful choice.” You couldn’t help but smile sweetly at him. “Thank you so much, Jungwon,” you said as you took the bouquets in your arms. “I’ll see you on Thursday, bye!”

You were unaware of the whirlwind of emotions you had stirred within him. Jungwon watched you leave the shop, silently grappling with the unspoken emotions that now lingered in the air. As the door’s soft chime faded, leaving behind a long silence, Jungwon felt a weight settle on his chest. The barrage of suppressed emotions, hopes, and regrets finally reached a breaking point. His eyes, once clear and welcoming, now glistened with unshed tears.

The bright array of flowers that surrounded him, usually a source of comfort, now faded into a kaleidoscope of memories. The once-soothing aroma of the flowers now seemed almost suffocating, each scent evoking a different memory or emotion that Jungwon had kept hidden. The delicate petals he always cherished now seemed to hold secrets and silent conversations, whispering stories of missed opportunities and silent wishes.

THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS

Red carnations contain several symbols: love, affection, and adoration.

The most common association with red carnations is love, especially deep love and affection. It can also be given as a romantic sign of love or to express strong feelings towards someone. Apart from romantic love, red carnations are also a symbol of admiration, making them an appropriate choice to pay homage to someone you deeply respect or admire.

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deathsweetblossoms · 8 months

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Flower Face: an Elain Archeron playlist

This is my love letter to Elain Archeron, my interpretation of what she sounds like were she to exist as music. Consider this more as an experience and less a list of songs with lyrics that relate to Elain. @elainarcheronweek

My Elain is made up in part of deeply personal headcanons, plus versions of her in works by @bloomingdarkgarden (What Bloomed in the Dark Garden) and @thefangirlofhp (sillage). She is Danielle De Barbarac, a quiet girl with a rich internal world and a heart capable of feeling every emotion ten fold. She has one foot in The Dreaming world of the mystics, and one foot in her rapidly evolving life in Velaris. She wants to be seen for who she is and loved for who she is, gardening-scarred hands and all. She quietly yearns for someone she can't have, never once sharing her woes with any of her sisters. She brings things to life and values learning, creation, travel. This is a musical journey that represents my interpretation of Elain's soul, her internal world, her life in Velaris, her hopes for the future. (It is Elriel leaning, as a disclaimer, because ... I simply cannot help it.) I started off the journey with nature sounds, because Elain is so deeply tied to the land in my mind, and with lush, atmospheric music representing how she presents to the world. As the list goes on, we go deeper and more secrets are revealed until the songs become almost entirely instrumental (moody and brooding in nature to represent an emotional landscape). There are songs in different languages or without words entirely, to represent her displacement into an unfamiliar land, in a changed body, and the uprooting of her ingrained beliefs about that land and the creatures living there; about her integration into the Night Court and her insistence that she belongs. It ends with her prayer to The Mother.

SONGLIST

(Sometimes I will include my decisions for including certain pieces. Other times, I hope you can glean your own meaning <;3) PART I

(nature sounds)

I often imagine Elain waking up at sunrise, before the rest of the city, and just imbibing the land, the birds, the flowers. Noticing things other's don't notice. Seeking solace among nature.

James Newton Howard - A Hidden Life (instrumental)

Mariee Sioux - Wild Eyes tiny darling ghost holder you our soft spirit breather... you plant your burderns way deep down in

Wickerbird - Llewellyn sleep, interred within old Avalon

A song that evokes visions, dreams, prophecy, distant lands

AURORA - Under the Water under the water, we can't breathe we can't breathe under the water, we die hearts will dream again lungs will breathe in feet won't fail you now arms won't let you down

This song has been on my Elain playlist since the start. I always reminds me of her journey into the cauldron, the terror and grief that befell her afterward, and learning how to keep going despite everything.

Flower Face - Cornflower Blue i wanna lay on the kitchen floor with you i wanna do all the things that lovers do bruised on your face like a watercolour bloom moonlight paints your skin cornflower blue

Elain develops feelings for a quiet Shadowsinger...

Steven Price - Ophelia (instrumental) Jean Luc Lenoir - The Mermaid's Croon (instrumental)

"The quiet dreamer"

Ane Brun - Joga (live version) all that no one sees, you see what's inside of me every nerve that hurts, you heal deep inside of me you don't have to speak i feel emotional landscapes

This is a quintessential Elriel song for me, so perfectly capturing how I believe she feels about him (how they feel about each other, honestly).

AURORA - Exist for Love and then you take me in and everything in me begins to feel like I belong

Joe Hisaishi - Heartbroken Kiki (instrumental)

Rachel Portman - Three Women (instrumental)

Elain, Nuala, and Cerridwen's blossoming friendship. Them in the kitchen learning how to make bread, them teaching Elain how to slyfoot, them whispering secrets about lovers and childhood to each other.

PART II (Powers Awakening, Hidden Secrets of the Magic of Velaris, Witches and Mystics)

AURORA - The Forbidden Fruits of Eden (an interlude)

Powers brimming just below the surface, unseen, but felt by Elain.

(nature sounds)

Elain starts visiting the Sidra more and more as her powers develop stronger. I just imagine her sitting by the water, with a scarf around her head, and a small picnic basket, just enjoying the quiet and thinking about her visions and dreams.

Thomas Newman - Starlit (instrumental)

Night-blooming Jasmine, Elain discovers her place in the shadows of Velaris

Karliene - The Fields of Ard Skellig

Elain digs her fingers into the soil of Velaris and night-blooming flowers blossom all around her. She learns the secrets of the mystics and how to control her powers. Our Lady Kingslayer comes into her own and surprises everyone with her strength of spirit.

The Naked and the Famous - Teardrop night, night of matter black flowers blossom fearless on my breath Runah - Witch how she bathes in it she never had a lover that said her name before the way it drops from his lips it's like she's never heard her name sound like a song and she craves it oh she has woken the witch she's becoming Kati Ran - Vinda slowly the journey goes like the walk of an old man seeking in waves and seeking in sand hear the psalm of the wind, its being sung over the mountain and you, will you listen to the melody in the evening Mykur - Nordlys (instrumental) Thomas Newman - Luthien Tinuviel (instrumental) Agnes Obel - Rosian (instrumental) Helisir - Brisingamen (instrumental) Johannes Bornlof - Wolfpack (instrumental) Honey Gentry - Aphrodite Aphrodite, hear my pain I want to fall in love again Not in love with a man of this world Fall in love with life itself

Elain's prayer to the mother

#elain archeron #elainarcheronweek2023 #elainweek2023 #acotar #trembling fawn #JUST KIDDING #SHES DONE #HERE YOU GO #IF YOU HATE IT DONT TELL ME BC I POURED MY WHOLE HEART INTO THIS LOL #ELRIEL #pro ELRIEL #Spotify

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variousqueerthings · 1 year

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so the whole thing about BJ for me, is that actually he’s not my favourite character (I was just going through the characters and I’m no good at playing favourites -- purely based on amount of words written it may be Hawkeye, but every one of them, including BJ, has something that makes me go !!!!!!!!!!)

but right now BJ specifically is someone I circle back to a lot, because of the mask of it all. no character on MASH wears masks as well as BJ does

when I first started watching I knew that there was a guy (I at some point had the name “honeycut” and was like... “honeycut? is he a bond girl??” (yes, he is)) who would be there after Trapper and stay until the end of the show

and then as I was watching I got sent some fanfictions and generally got an impression of BJ through the lens of devotion to Hawkeye and overall good guyness, maybe a little bland even

and around s6 I was really wondering... where are they going with this guy? Did learn later that there was something going on on the writing-side of things, so the inconsistencies I was noting were... noticeable, but often that can give unexpected things to work with. at the time I figured “I will wait until I’ve got the whole puzzle” (I say, like I wasn’t writing a dozen BJ-related posts while watching, but I was just... prodding at him: what’s up with you my guy?)

so now I’ve got the whole puzzle and it’s quite devastating. I’ve joked along with others that BJ is the villain of the piece, and it is kind of true that a lot of later seasons inner-MASH conflict comes from him, but the whole thing about the end is of course that none of the people at the 4077th are villains (except for Frank, of course, Frank is a bastard as he was meant to be), they’re just reacting to all the awfulness in different ways

I feel like Hawkeye, Charles, and BJ react the worst to it (although everyone has their Stuff) and out of the three of them BJ reacts in the most unpalatable ways to a viewer

Hawkeye is Hawkeye -- could go on about him (and have done) forever, but I think I’ll leave it at that here. We have had Episodes Dedicated To Hawkeye Is Being Hawkeye, we Know.

Charles is introduced as intensely closed-off, strongly disliking everything and everyone around him, even casually bigoted -- every example of him growing and changing and allowing his door to wedge open just a bit is bound to be catnip to a certain kind of engager of these sorts of stories (me). and this is also at risk of becoming paragraphs of text, so I shan’t continue for long, but Charles in the last episode was perfectly everything that is Charles, in all his fascinating contradictions -- and in a lot of ways, Charles is quite open with who he is, and who he is is someone who hisses angrily at the idea of sharing his deepest emotions with others and then occasionally he does and I 😭

BJ though!

BJ is introduced as a good guy. he’s the new Trapper. he’s going to be there for Hawkeye. he’s in many ways everything Hawkeye is not (clean-cut, a little traditional in a charmingly white knight kind of way, married to a beautiful woman with whom he has a beautiful kid -- there’s even that line from Hawkeye where he basically says words to this effect, and ends it on “and despite that I still like the guy”)

so when BJ starts knocking on the walls of being this Type of character --- what if he fully knows the connotations of being Trapper’s replacement and hates it? what if there’s no way to maintain an All-American ideal in a place like this and he’s floundering because he’s never had to consider himself outside of that perspective? what if the ugliness makes him ugly? (in how he treats others, not physically, fully once he got that moustache, the little gay boy from the 1970s inside of me went 😳 oh hello. sidenote, does Mike Farrell know this? surely he must know what he was evoking with all of that??? I hope Mike *I need to talk about gay rights* Farrell got fanmail from gay guys that he cherished).

and what if he still acts, in many ways... not even so dissimilarly from how he did in the beginning, with the exception of the sudden outbursts and jealous rantings? what if the cheeky smile feels a bit... off now? more like a smirk. what if you go from “aww he’s got a letter from peg,” to “oh no, he’s got a letter from peg”? what if he obfuscates and tells half-truths and outright lies in the exact same tone of voice as when he’s being sincere? what if that means you just never know when he’s being real? what if he’s all-mask and no answers? and when did he start being this? was this somewhat disconcerting man always who he was?

and, like with Charles, there are little glimpses into the answers (I think war co-respondent is a not universally beloved episode, but the stuff about being a prisoner of war and needing to look towards home was wonderful stuff to me, dunno if I can imagine him ever admitting any of that to Hawkeye -- not to mention period of adjustment, in which some bit of truth only comes out after literal violence and binge drinking)

when I was watching s10 I noticed that this got especially intense, not so much in the period of adjustment way, but just the casualness of cruelty. there were barely any examples of BJ really being there for Hawkeye (and I have another post I want to do about times he aggressively projected onto him and how Hawkeye reacted to that within episodes) and I wasn’t happy about it, because I wanted to see mutual support dammit! I wasn’t prepared to consider the tragedy that maybe the ability to do that is just eroding (take away why things were written the way they were and just looking at the narratives themselves) -- maybe all that’s left is the projection and the familiarity and the trudging onwards with bits of mad impulsive abandon the only way of dealing

and after Goodbye Farewell and Amen, I reconsidered (we’ll see if I feel the same way on my second watch though). I do on some level wish that BJ had gotten to be more in the final seasons than mostly petty and mean, but I’m also warming up to the reading of him and the ways that reactions to trauma can be incredibly unkind -- and also that BJ maybe doesn’t naturally come to kindness, but it’s hard to say. I quite like that read, personally, and there are hints of it (the fact that he played tricks on people before he ever came to Korea is one. the fact that he’s an easy-going privileged white guy who was popular in a frat house is another.)

the other thing about BJ is the gradual slide of his character. in the beginning he’s confidently able to play the Role Of The American Hero Man Who Is (kind of bland) A Good Guy Here To Pick Up The Pieces Of That Other Guy Who’s A Mess and we have a clear enemy in Frank. It’s a simpler story, even though it actually gets complicated almost immediately in the first episode by the way BJ starts out in his nice pressed dress uniform and ends it having thrown up, having fallen into the mud, having had bombs dropped on him, having taken a girl who stepped on a landmine to an ill-equipped local hospital, etcetcetc. and at the end getting mind-numbingly drunk. in hindsight it feels easy to see all of this and go: ah yeah, he’s not going to be okay

and yet he spends seasons in which he just seems to continue and then seasons in which he does increasingly unhinged shit, while still acting as if he’s just continuing. masks under masks under masks.

the first crack might be when he cheats on Peg. it’s totally antithetical to what he believes in. it makes no sense for it to happen. I wrote a whole post about how I didn’t understand the reasons from his side at the time when I was watching it (I believe it was the first episode to really give him a POV), and I’m not convinced that it was intended at all this deep in any way, but through the lens of this read, it’s the first of BJ’s sudden, destructive behaviours -- but he’s still Good Guy BJ, he’s going to explain it to Peg, he’s going to fix it... until Hawkeye tells him not to (and once again obligatory mention of how Hawkeye inserts himself in the Hunnicutt family over and over). Who knows if that was the right decision, the point is that there are no right decisions, but maybe for a man like BJ... idk, maybe it would have been good to let him face the facts and take responsibility. he’s increasingly not very good at that, after all

I also think “BJ Papa San” is one of the most affecting pre-s8 episodes. more scales falling from his eyes, there are no heroes, including him, nothing here matters, why should he try to make things matter? and it’s in s8 when period of adjustment hits and I do think (and again I may find myself reconsidering once I rewatch) that there’s a pre-s8 BJ and a s8-onwards BJ and the changes can be pinpointed down to specific episodes -- those episodes turned a slow slide into a waterfall, until you end up with something like “Bombshells” in which BJ’s hurt leads him to blame Hawkeye (and really himself) for essentially judging the average soldiers who come through, when Hawkeye has never been cruelly simplistic like that in how he fights against the war

in GFA BJ finally hits the wall with his way of dealing, and he deals with that really badly too. every bit of how he goes about trying to get home to Erin’s birthday makes me want to shake him. he triggers Hawkeye, he doesn’t consider the needs of the 4077th in terms of surgeons, he feels weirdly manipulative in the way he shows her picture around like, “see, this is why it’s important I leave right now, rather than in idk, two weeks, you wouldn’t break the heart of this little girl, it’s all about her actually and not about me, when you think about it!” -- then he leaves without saying goodbye to Hawkeye or even just leaving him a note (and yeah, sudden short timing, but like... dude... you had time before that and also that’s the thing he’s sensitive about! that’s... that’s literally the thing that happened that meant he met you how he met you, you were there my guy!)

and he gets sent back and once again doesn’t acknowledge that he really may have hurt him. Over and over again in that final story, BJ runs from direct confrontation of how he feels, down to the feelings that must arise from allowing the word “goodbye.”

when Hawkeye confronts him on that (and I love love love that it wasn’t about how BJ might have hurt Hawkeye or about the mutual projection they may have done on each other, or anything about the past time of BJ being kind of a shit, it was Hawkeye asking for the thing underneath all of those things) it’s in a way that’s very raw and puncturing, and feels like slightly to the left of an argument (you know when someone brings something out during a fight that seemingly has nothing to do with what it’s about?) + Hawkeye’s highly sensitive way of dealing with things invoking his actual death to try and get BJ to just do the fucking thing! It was pretty shocking, I will one day rewatch, but I am remembering that feeling of it like a kind of slap to BJ’s face, because he’s trying to not think about things like that!

it reminds me of the example of “times men are allowed to show emotion and be close and be intimate include when a buddy is holding his dying buddy on the battle field,” except in this case it’s fascinatingly meta, because it’s Hawkeye calling BJ out on it through that example, because Hawkeye, as we know, has no problem being emotional (filtering those emotions though... somethingsomething fascinating that we have two examples of Hawkeye being so emotionally wounded that he literally deals with it by repressing the whole memory! ANYWAY!) -- would it be enough then, BJ? would you say goodbye if he was literally dying, or would you be a coward then too? I’m doing some hyperbole and stretching of how Hawkeye says it, but it’s the slightly left to an argument feeling of it all... you’re asking, how much does this question contain?

and hey, what do you know: having to look directly at the violence without a haze of genial “I’m just a blank space where a guy should be”ism, is the thing that BJ is sensitive about! but they’re about to leave and Hawkeye can’t let him not look directly at him anymore, he needs them to say goodbye!

BJ is also a guy who’s been really hurt and is continually hurt by all the ways war is a near-constant violence. they’re all just hurt people doing their best, and I like the idea that maybe Hawkeye is quite aware of what BJ is doing and absorbs the blows knowingly, because they’re all just trying their best to get through it okay and Hawkeye’s way is self-sacrifice

at the end BJ does say goodbye

he makes the tremendous effort to do so, and it’s done in a very BJ type way, big and grand. it feels like an acknowledgement that what happened here did affect him, Hawkeye mattered to him, and despite everything and the likelihood that they may never see each other again (or maybe they will, but only once or twice), there was something in it all worth saying goodbye to. in a sea of nothing mattering, that mattered

another thing is that I think if this had been a different show, with more traditional types of masculinity, BJ would have fit right in. Hell, he might even have been “the sensitive one” because ultimately he’s a very passionate healer of people and he’s against war on principle and he’s a wife guy, but this narrative doesn’t let him stop at that point. things that might go under the radar in that type if story become red alarms in this one. maybe the original MASH, full of snark and cynicism would have let him get away with it

but in this one he says goodbye, dammit, he hugs Margaret (twice), he says fond goodbyes to his friends and salutes Potter, and he hugs Hawkeye as hard as he can like he’ll never let go, and he makes the grand gesture!

and I don’t know, I might reconsider so many things as I go along... like I said, he’s... *pokes and prods* what’s going on here, huh buddy? how can we make this writing make sense now we have all the puzzle pieces we’re going to get?

how hard can I fixate on the act of saying “goodbye”

#bj hunnicutt #MASH #hawkeye pierce #also briefly: charles but mainly just to go *listen I love him*#MASH meta #goodbye farewell and amen

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chookily · 7 months

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Chookily's Guide to complimenting art

Introduction

While it is a kind gesture to extend positive input to an artist I would never want anyone to turn positive input into a job. For the most part it's supposed to be fun!!! We should all learn to try not to take it personally if no one compliments our art every now and then there are various reasons why people may not compliment! They could be occupied, they may not know what to say, or it's simply not their personal taste. Remember for the majority it can be challenging to say something beyond "this looks cool!" and some people may even feel self conscious of what to them seems like a lowsy compliment. What's important is to learn to be confident of our own art. As an independent artist I face this dilemma multiple times and i've learnt how to reassure myself and be confident of my own abilities. Don't rely on others solely for positive reinforcement as you're only setting yourself for failure. This is also just a general reminder that you don't need to go to into full detail about artwork. Sometimes giving your general support through a reaction or just saying "This looks cool!" is enough and you should never be afraid to voice your support

Why is it important to compliment art? Other than the rudimentary and obvious reason there is a genuine skill you can train and apply in your own artwork when you compliment artwork. By complimenting artwork you are training yourself to discern and separate specific aspects of a art piece in order to determine the strengths of an artist. THEREFORE you are using critical thinking skills that help with eye training improved vocabulary and a better general grasp of art. (Plus you make the person feel very happy :>>>>) The Basics Don't focus on the bigger picture!

When it comes to analyzing artwork the least thing you want to do is focus too much on the grand scheme of the photo. Unless you're complimenting the certain atmosphere setting how convincing it is and other technical artistic merits it's best to focus on smaller things. Look at the linework look at the color palette or the brushworks or the effects what do you appreciate most about the art piece what do you find most unique and noteable? Once you point these out it can be very easy to give a compliment! Study technical artwork terms and techniques! The best way to learn to compliment art is to immerse yourself and absorb information. Learn the basic terminologies and techniques for art do your homework! Make the criticism personally catered to the artist! What patterns have you noticed in the artist's work? Try to point out the artist's best abilities and their strengths! Let them know what they are best at!! Focus on the mood/atmosphere of the artpiece what emotion does a certain art piece evoke? what does it make you think or feel? Art is a creative exchange of ideas and stories and in doing so you feed that creative energy!

Ask questions about the art piece

Engage yourself with the art piece to familiarize yourself it makes the artist feel special!

Conclusion This is my basic tutorial on how to compliment art, if you have any other advice feel free to share. Otherwise, thank you for reading!

#art advice #chookily #advice #art #chookilyspeaks

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minumi-chan · 9 months

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Let's do, for the ask game... 22, 32, 37, 51? You can pick and choose as you wish tho <3 There's no pressure to answer all of those!

Hee hee!! Let'sa go!! (Ask meme questions here)

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I've tried my hand a several styles over the years to explore, learn, grow and find my preferred methods. The thing that I consistently try to stay away from is 1st person POV. I just find it so hard to maintain, and I dislike the limited perspective of only that character's viewpoint. I used to write a lot of horror and I do not now because it's not healthy for me anymore.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Only three??? Fuck...... I'm going to stick with my current hyperfixation, TMNT (Mainly Rise) Okay, let's go //cracks knuckles// I'm picking three writers that have consistently made me bawl my eyes out to the point of running out of tissues. I'm gonna be brave and @ people.

@taizi -- Holy shit, some of the most beautiful, heartfelt, emotional, family centric TMNT fic you will find out there. Gawd. Every story Taizi has ever written has brought me to tears. I love 2012 TMNT family because of Taizi's work. And the most recent ROTTMNT stories are just-- I want to hug them to my chest if that makes sense? Go read everything they have ever written, you will not regret it. Bring tissues.

@last-hourglass -- If you have not read Last Grain of Sand in the Hourglass, then please come sob with me over the way Teej so beautifully writes the Rise!family fighting their way to each other and a happy ending. My GAWD the way my emotions have been trampled by this fic. Also Teej makes INCREDIBLE art pieces to go with the story. Brilliant storyteller and artist. //throws a million roses their way

@bluepeachstudios -- Ame is a prolific TMNT writer with so many amazing stories OMGAWD!! I am currently absolutely completely intensely enamored by all things Ghost in the Shell. If you love 2003!Don, THEN OH BOY YOU'RE IN FOR A HEARTBREAKING TREAT!! 8DD But what I love about the story is that there is also healing, and family, and learning to trust again, to love again, to recover from and grow through the hurt. Ghost's history is a fantastical fiction, but the way Ame writes his struggles is so raw and real, and I will forever be crying for my favorite peepaw in the multiverse, Big Papa aka Gogo aka Casper aka Ghost, and rooting for his happy ending. I trust in Ame to give us that in the end. Please also come sob with me over Ghost's stories if you have not already tried them.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Depending on the story style, I try to choose an impactful moment for the ending. Sometimes that means a cliffhanger if it's the continuous style of story. Others it's trying to find an emotional beat to leave the reader on, especially if the chapter is more self-contained kind of moment. I focus on how the ending line feels a lot, so the chapter closes with a specific emotion evoked.

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I had never looked at this before this ask! Apparently it's: 160,872 words 😯

#minu loves tmnt #rottmnt #fic rec #ask meme

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petrichoraline · 10 months

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hiiii <3 what are your all time favorite bls and why? i need to fill up my to-watch list asap

oh, this ask made me ecstatic to the point i considered one of my moots sent it cause they know giving recs makes me happy 😄

what I'd constitute as faves isn't necessarily what i would usually recommend, to moots i mostly suggest shows and movies that i find unique in some way and that have left a good impression on me like i will knock you, kimi no koto dake mite itai, word of honor, fukou kun, the untamed, docchi mo docchi, seven days, itsay, msp, vice versa etcetcetc. it's not necessarily about perfect writing or acting even, it's about the piece of media provoking either lots of thoughts, emotions or both, having at least one unique trait i associate with it and just being enjoyable despite (or because of) its flaws! so that's the type of media i usually enjoy sharing with others.

now, it's infinitely easier for me to give recs based on any other criteria but "my personal faves" is such a subjective category (that im not even sure exists) that i had to cheat a bit - i went off of what couples make me go feral, what emotions the show title evokes and if i've revisited certain scenes. i don't do full rewatches for the most part but i sometimes go back to watch the main couples (the exception being waantul in between us, i know their scenes a hundred times better than winteam's lol) and most of the shows listed here have been revisited at least once 😗

Love Is Science? - NOT a bl, the pair in question are the second couple; i personally went through every episode looking for their scenes and then went through the cut on yt (and rightfully so, quite a few scenes were missing in that); i'm recommending you smth this inconvenient because i love Mark and Ou Wen so much. their personalities (they have personality for daysss), the chemistry (the hanger scene), their love and support for each other make me giddy. they carry their part so well you don't need much else, just watching them interact is enough. going through gifs now i got reminded of just how amazing the development of their relationship is to me. they're a delight and a half, enjoy them flustering each other 💖

To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories - now, i'm aware you have to see s1 first but when it comes to who makes me go feral, it's definitely Seojoon and Jiwoo and this happened mostly because of season 2, i didn't care for them much originally. this season explored an aspect of relationships i don't think i've seen explored anywhere else in a way that makes me still get in my feels whenever anything bout the show comes across my dash. it's angsty but so worth it. my boys have intense personal issues and even more intense love for each other, their personalities, way of thinking and chemistry are fascinating to me. the cuteness mixed with the heavier plot, the pacing, the smart writing, it's so nice. side note, binging both seasons at once wouldn't be that big of a challenge timewise in case you don't want a breather in between 😊 (gif from s1 because you can't watch them separately anyways)

Kieta Hatsukoi - a sweet light romcom for the most part, very entertaining, all of the characters are soo loveable, one of my all time fave girls in bl is here and she's everything <3 in regards to manga accuracy, the main events are all there but the order is all switched around yet the story still makes perfect sense! it's funny, it's sweet, Aoki and Ida are such an interesting pair and it's lovely seeing them figure out how to navigate this unexpected relationship

We Best Love: No. 1 For You - it's such a must watch! the passion these two have for each other and the chemistryyy will make you overlook the sheer absurdity of some of the plot; i also loved the 2 season format where the second season feels well planned, it's almost like one whole season cut in half. the emotional journey that Shu Yi and Shi De go on is so (melo)dramatic but also very touching because Sam and Yu act those emotions OUT, it's a pleasure just watching them interact (also Shu Yi is one of the few brats i adore dearly and i think it's not only because of the writing but Yu's incredible portrayal of the character)

Bad Buddy - i wasn't able to appreciate it for its wit because it was basically my first thai bl, i had no idea what expectations it was defying. nevertheless, i fell in love with it because it stands so well on its own! it's very funny, heartbreaking at times (reading analyses and meta on here made me realise how heavy the premise actually is) and insanely romantic (it caters to my idea of romance so well, the pining and protectiveness and flirting and devotion and-); also Pat and Pran have some amazing communication and mutual understanding, their bond is truly endearing and makes my heart ache if i think about it a bit too long

KinnPorsche - when it comes down to it, i am a very basic person. this show is just a ride, you gotta watch it for the pure entertanment value. there's always smth happening, that's for sure 😄of course chemistry, ofc handsome men all over the place yadayada but it'd be just that if not for the insane plotlines and humour, if you just accept that anything goes, you can have a blast with this show (but also hurt beautiful men finding comfort and love in a world of pain and betrayal>>)

Where Your Eyes Linger - though I can't make myself rewatch the heavier scenes, i love this one, the premise, the execution, it's all to my taste, the longing between these two is palpable (side note: i was getting emotional while searching for a gif but a bunch of the results were porn gifs so i was taken out of my feels multiple times lmao)

Utsukushii Kare - I'm way more normal about them now than before but this show truly makes you feel so many things, it's so smart and fantastic. Hira and Kiyoi's journey is beautiful and it embodies what i love seeing from japan's productions. they're just two lovely guys who are perfect for each other and shouldn't be let anywhere near the dating pool ❤️

Semantic Error - man, i love me some enemies to lovers, especially when both leads are Fools™️ for each other. the humour and pacing, the colourful side characters, Jaeyoung's charisma, his determination contrasting Sangwoo's inner battle..and, I know I'm becoming repetitive, the chemistry! there's a reason my guys won awards js

The End of the World with You - this show drove me insane, it's more of a one-time watch imo but i'm saying this because I was very focused on the main couple and they were what kept me watching (plus the suspense of course); it's a heavy heavy premise with the most controversial couple on this list but somehow it felt very light and exciting for the most part. I think their unconventional surroundings account for it, you don't get the typical chaos an apocalyptic show would display, it kind of feels calm even and it allows you to focus on the interpersonal relationships between the characters rather than on the expected terrors. the show fascinated me with the amazing acting and the dynamic between Ritsu and Masumi, I have a special spot for them <33 (no photo cause the limit was reached lol)

because deciding on faves is hard i'll leave this list at 10 shows, consider these just 10 of the many shows that are important to me in some way 💓

hopefully i suggested mostly things you haven't seen yet (though I went quite basic) <3 i need to know what you think of the shows, okay? and in case they don't do it for you (or, even better, they do and you come to trust me lol) feel perfectly welcome to send me some info about what you (don't) enjoy in terms of genre, tropes, episode length, actors etc.etc. and i'll dive into my lists hahah, it's super fun for me 💗

#thank you sm for the ask and sorry for both taking long and not making too interesting of a list #i promise im better when i dont have to look into my own tastes and just have to match data lol #ps hopefully you saw my post last night i stand behind those recs as well 😂#petri replies

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the27percent · 10 months

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YOUR MUSE'S INVENTORY. [original meme from @treasurechestrpmemes.]

rules: list the things your muse carries in their pockets or bags in their every day life. (optional: explain their significance.) repost, don’t reblog.

POCKETS.

fingerless black gloves - if atieno doesn't have them on, these are contained in their pockets. it's an easy to access accessory and they feel a certain kind of presence in putting them on.

casual cosmic shards/minerals/rocks - they pick up all kinds of weird little rocks and things as a part of their constant movements throughout the universe. they are glad to share these with a friend or someone they meet, just because they knew these are rarities and they exactly where to find them

occasional snacks - although atieno doesn't really need to eat, sometimes they will just carry an energy-bar or some kind of weird snack with them in the area, just so that they have a thing to bite on when they are bored, and thinking about where they want to go next.

custom carved knife - it's something they've forged from incredibly dense material, embedded with a personal power - that can cut and tear through whatever they need at a given moment. it's formidable it's flexible. it has somewhat 'spider-y' imagery on it for reasons only they seem to be privy to.

wallet/pouch thing - it's probably not a formal wallet, but it holds a little currency of varying types. a card connected to a distance account that they have set up and take care of over the years. also contains an 'id' but maybe not one that would be easily recognized. they know they are a walking issue. how much they genuinely care seems to vary. it's a dark blue bag with silvery streaks embedded across it.

a few hair-ties. they sometimes like to tie their hair up. and they need a few reinforcements on hand just in case something happens.. and they need to tie their hair up again real quick.

communication device - it is ... not strictly a cell phone. it often operates like one. and they can make calls and texts. but ... the sheer range in how it reaches out and how effective it is .. clearly is beyond the tech that is often available on earth. they have an update every... few years or so. they have a regular source that they collaborate on updates with .. it's a very durable piece, and it has a few little space-y charms on it. one of the more recent updates allows them to listen to music - so they indulge in all the moor mother, funkadelic, missy, nina simone, max roach, pharoah sanders, death, pure hell, living colour and .. so many others they could possibly get their hands on. it's been a nice, nice update.

BAG.

when a bag is spotted on atieno - it's often a black or dark blue small messenger bag or backpack. even when it's not there.. it's probably not far. results of pocket realm access and all that.

black and blue notebook with a pen or two. or three(they like pens) - atieno takes a lot of notes about their surroundings, their journeys. they take the time to process their thoughts, emotions - using a combination of languages and tongues that often would confound anyone trying to read their writing. and yet it would blur together - images, stories, feelings could be evoked in what they are writing. they take a lot of time for documentation even if it may never really get seen. also the better a pen's ink flows, the better. they are always seeking that next level flow. so to speak.

headphone-equivalent - they've always.. enjoyed the over-ear sensation more than anything else. although they do have a few ear buds they use for convenience. if they are alone, they will take the time to relish in the sounds of an over ear, surrounding experience of music and sound.

hair-wrap - when they are resting in their more 'human-ish' form they do tend to wrap up their locs for convenience. it only really makes sense. they've tried a few varieties over the years and developed their preferences. a lot of dark blue, purple, black - starry, gothic, images show up in their design choices

books! - atieno is usually carrying a book - often about history of civilizations across the universe, the world, music history, about marginalized groups- they had been on a black arts movement kick recently because of their distant relative, z who was was deeply inspired by it. they also read poetry, literary criticism and satirical books from across the universe - along with scifi, horror. and maybeee the occasional romance. you didn't hear them mention that though.

an extra top - often a button down shirt or loose blouse. sometimes they just don't want to be bothered with people noticing them wearing fishnet tops so they will throw something over it to give themself another layer. may incorporate a scarf as well depending on the temperature of the environment they are in. not because they are cold (they don't seem to mind cold at all), but.. just to be a bit more uh 'subtle' sometimes.

personal gift - this tends to rotate from time to time, atieno keeps varying gifts from others at their little hidden cluster hideaways that they have. but they like keeping small items on them to remind them of a person or place, or for the sake of comfort. it's nice for them to fidget with and appreciate about their connections.

tagged: @imsobrooklyn @tximidity

tagging @bewitchingbaker @oddlies [for muse of choice] @dethqveen @moonspower

#info

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the-pale-goddess · 4 months

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Hii, so I came across your recent fic and OMGGG your writing is soo beautiful I gotta ask, is there something in particular that inspires it? like certain books that shaped your style?

OMG PLEASEEEEEE, this is hands down one of the most wonderful compliments I could ever receive! There are no words to properly convey the extent of joy your ask has brought, so allow me to turn into a puddle of tears and gratitude 🥹❤️ Thank you for giving my writing a chance!

Apologies for the tiny essay below ksbksbskbs

To be completely honest, my number one rule is not to seek inspiration in published works or specific authors 😅 Whenever I was inspired by someone, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I was shamelessly copying bits of their work (even though I wasn’t)...It was detrimental to my sense of self and, inevitably, the project. The line between inspiration and imitation is extremely thin, and the anxious Virgo in me would never let me dance on its verge ksbskbsksn I pursue the kind of writing that has my signature on it, and to achieve that I had to find my own voice and the means to write free of the constraints imposed by the ever-present mainstream preferences.

I would say that poetry and music had the biggest impact on developing my writing style. I’m a poetry kid; I used to write the most heart-wrenching poems in my native language at 11 (tbh they’re better than anything I have ever produced as an adult lol), so the massive need to turn everything into a metaphor is probably rooted deep in my brain 😅 I love toying with symbolism, I love gorgeous vocabulary, I love playing with words to evoke the desired imagery, I love focusing on my characters’ inner musings and making a vivid painting out of their thoughts. I just love, LOVE the process! I draw inspiration from songs, language, certain phrases, sounds, memories, emotions, images, life in all its bittersweet glory.

My writing style has changed so much since the beginning of my fanfic journey, I cringe every single time I revisit those bland, old pieces, constantly fighting the urge to erase them from planet Internet permanently ksnksnslnd But in the end they’re testament to my evolution as a writer, and—what’s particularly important—brought a smile to many faces back in the day.

Can’t thank you enough for stopping by and showering me with kindness, it truly means everything ❤️ I’m rather self-conscious about my flowery writing style because, well, it’s not really popular in the fandom and I have seen some pretty vocal aversion to it (not to my writing specifically or someone else’s for that matter, just in general). From my observation, most fanfic readers don’t look for this type of descriptive word vomit, so it may be difficult to find an audience at times, especially in a fandom running on fumes. But your wonderful comment proves that all the hard work isn’t in vain!

Sending you loads of love, dear Anon 🫶🏻

#y'all are so precious 🫶🏻

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anhed-nia · 2 years

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BLOGTOBER 10/10/2021: CREEPSHOW

There is so much to say about this deceptively simple movie, I don't know if I can even cover it all—but hopefully I'll be able to point in the general direction of its broad borders. CREEPSHOW looks to be just a fun gimmick: an anthology movie by two life-long fans of EC Comics that emulates the format with a collection of five horror shorts and a wrap story featuring a Cryptkeeper-like ghoul. The production is vividly colorful and includes graphic, hand-drawn frames-within-frames that refer directly to the aesthetic of comic books like Tales from the Crypt. The tone of the stories is similarly faithful to the source; in each one, people corrupted by their peccadilloes meet with an ironic comeuppance at the hands of the natural or the supernatural, their lives ending with a disturbing yet funny punchline. CREEPSHOW is not the earliest screen adaptation of horror comics, and it hasn't been the last, but it may be the only iteration that imitates the EC brand, while also evoking the cultural atmosphere that surrounded those books when they were new and highly controversial.

George Romero has made a lot of movies in different styles, from his quiet psychodramas with their touches of magic realism, to the grimy, gory apocalypse of his LIVING DEAD series, to…well, the feverish cartoon reality of CREEPSHOW. The chief connecting thread throughout Romero's filmography is the paranoia and alienation of his protagonists. This rings loudest among the survivors of the zombie plague, but it is equally present in the pseudo-vampiric melodrama of MARTIN, and the Stepford-like social satire of SEASON OF THE WITCH. It makes sense that a horror giant like Romero would have such a strong feeling for marginalization, when you consider that he grew up in an era where all of society's ills were being blamed on the horror movies and comics that he loved. However broadly, CREEPSHOW delivers a strong vision of childhood in a world where adults could not be trusted: They could be cruel, ignorant, selfish, and censuring, all the while hypocritically pawning off their culpability on the media that provided children with a welcome escape.

The film begins with a turbulent domestic situation in which young monster kid Billy (Stephen King's son Joe Hill) is threatened and demeaned by his father (Tom Atkins), who focuses his wrath especially on Billy's beloved comic book collection. The scene is as exaggeratedly pulpy as anything in the movie, yet it hums with an emotional intensity that prevents the viewer from dismissing it as pure pastiche. The shorts the ensue are also full of characters who are threatened by those who are supposed to love them: Parents, children, and spouses are all equally threatening, creating an undercurrent of isolation and disappointment that flows beneath the outrageous, blackly comic horror that prevails. Stephen King's screenplay deftly balances humor and terror to keep things fun and exciting, but Romero's signature despair is branded on every segment.

But about Stephen King, for a moment: The weakest piece of the film is "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill," in which King himself plays a gawping hillbilly who gets infected with a ravaging moss from outer space. I actually have a gripe about King that I don't hear from others as much as I think I should, which is that he presents himself as this man of the people, yet his stories are often populated by almost minstrel-like caricatures of poor, rural, working-class individuals—often surrounding a protagonist who has reached escape velocity from his rustic home town and is working on a respectable literary career. Not that I think it's unreasonable to treat people you love to a certain amount of ribbing, but I question whether King is really as sympathetic as he is accepted to be, and his extra yokelly performance may give you an idea of what I mean. Yeah, sure, this is supposed to be comic book-y, but in the context of many similar bits throughout King's career, it can start to feel pretty condescending.

The dip in quality of "Jordy Verrill" is extra stark when you look at the rest of the cast, which includes multiple Tony and Emmy winners giving first-class performances. Because Romero is so associated with the invention of the modern zombie, and also with Tom Savini's groundbreaking gore effects, sometimes people fail to mention that he was really an actor's director. Romero demonstrated a fine feeling for people right from the start, and even a live-action cartoon like CREEPSHOW displays his emotional sensitivity and his ability to get the best out of his cast. Although a certain cynicism plays out in all of Romero's films, his basic sympathy for humanity is what makes his work effectively tragic, rather than judgmental and nasty.

CREEPSHOW may not warm your heart as it chills your bones, but it is likely to make you feel something deeper and more powerful than you might expect from a garden variety comic book adaptation, especially one so frankly schticky. And on my closing note, I'd like to say that CREEPSHOW is one of the only movies I've ever seen where the comic book format is evoked, and it doesn't look like complete shit. Almost every time I see a live-action movie using illustration elements for its transitions, they're lazy and awful and it's obvious that the filmmakers wanted to make the hipstery gesture of being comic book-like, without putting an ounce of effort into it or even just trying to make it look nice. The message always seems to be, "We know some people think comics are cool but we have no idea why; we think they're stupid, and we think you're stupid too, but we want your ass in a seat so here ya go, sucker." Mercifully, Romero DOES know what's good about comics, and he serves it up in spades. Just another piece of evidence of his sympathy and respect for humanity, the viewer included.

PS My husband and I re-watched this movie during a trip to Pittsburgh, and we both had super scary nightmares that night, so the mojo is still working. Happy 40th anniversary CREEPSHOW!

#blogtober 2022 #blogtober #creepshow #horror #comic book #george a. romero #george romero #stephen king #anthology #supernatural #nature amok #zombie #monster

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astrobstrd · 1 year

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2022. GAME OF THE YEAR. OK?

Hey folks, season's greetings. Runner-up for most sentimental gamer 2021 here and I got a bug up my ass to write about video games. It's equal parts games that did and didn't release this year. Forgive me for any run-ons or excessive commas, this started as a piece on one game on the list and then became a top 10, then it spiraled out of control a tad as I forced myself to write more. Regardless, I'm happy with it and you can check it out under the read more. Happy holidays!

GUNDAM EVOLUTION

Gundam Evo is so goddamned weird. It’s a great game that I cannot recommend anyone jump into now. I really enjoy the core gameplay loop and what it does versus a game like Overwatch— the dash and boost system serve as a salve to the ever-present hero shooter roll-out problem and offer a little bit of movement unpredictability, the lack of clearly defined roles prevented the game from having a dichotomy of “hard” or “soft” tank and support units, and, generally, I found myself having more fun with it than I could recall having with OG Overwatch at the time. Every time I think about going back, however, I remember that it’s one of the clearest examples in recent memory of a publisher just not really giving a shit about its product.

The game sits at a sub-1k player count on Steam, with no way for people in certain regions of the world to even play the game, the console versions took a full two months after initial release to hit digital storefronts, and there’s no backfill system in any capacity. For a game to have such promise in a world where only one hero shooter really survived the late ‘10s burnout period, then to fizzle out so quickly… it’s just kind of a bummer. I would not be surprised if the game is shuttered by this time next year. Still, the time I spent with it felt immensely satisfying.

FORTNITE

Yeah. I fell in last year, (completely by coincidence, when they put the skanking emote in, if you can believe that, which you shouldn't,) and now that I can play Zero Build, my playtime's only gone up. I've also watched as the remaining capital G-I Games Industry folks I follow, who poked and laughed at the Tower Building Gaming For Children also fall into the exact same hole. So... lmao.

I think as you get older you do look for a few more opportunities to have a common activity that you nor your friends really pay a whole lot of attention to but use as a vehicle to shoot the shit. That's Fortnite. It's like getting drunk at a baseball game in the middle of the day for late millennials. It also has full patch cycles that are genuinely, unabashedly, very fun. We got dirtbikes and gravity hammers and fuckin Doom Slayer now man! It's great!

Oh, and to defend my honor just a little, I've spent a grand total of $14 on it. I caved to buy the Rasputin and Gangnam Style emote. What are you, the IRS? Leave me alone.

SONIC ROBO BLAST KART 2

...henceforth referred to as SRB2K because I'm not typing all of that out again, is not a live service game, and also a mod for Doom. It's (probably) the best Sonic kart racer ever made, and it's all built in a game that has nothing to do with the little blue freak. It feels fantastic to play, and it evokes the same feeling of fuzzy-warm coziness that I got from playing a lot of Skulltag one winter. I spent quite a lot of time in late January and February compiling user created SRB2K mods, hacking together soundpacks for existing characters, and screaming into a microphone as I careened through some of the best and worst maps I've ever played in a racing game.

DEAD BY DAYLIGHT

I pretend to hate this game and sometimes I do.

And now it's time for

Let's find out!

10) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge

Man, was this a fun surprise! I’ve never been the biggest turtles guy, but I am enough of one to have a favorite that I’ve picked almost entirely on the basis of color and weaponry. (It’s Don, for the record.) I am also enough of a fan of cooperative side-scrolling beat-em-ups that playing this whole game in a little under four hours with a group of friends was a complete blast. I have this weird hang up where I just can’t play these games solo. I think most beat-em-up devs also know that the real meat is in flying through them with a buddy or three or five. (After all, the only way I was ever going to finish Double Dragon: Neon, a game that I love but was definitely not the target market for, was playing it in co-op a year after its release.) That all being said, the fact that TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge allowed for six players at a time is as perfect as it is completely batshit and overwhelming. I’d routinely lose my place altogether as the genuinely fantastic backdrops and battle arenas turned into a flurry of blows and flying footclan bodies, and I simply did not mind.

While my time with it didn’t last long, I couldn’t help but admire the fact there was enough depth in the combos and strategic use of heavy moves, super attacks and thug-juggling technique to potentially make the game worth replaying. This is not even mentioning the genuinely fantastic sprite, level and sound design work. Fast, fun, and punching above its weight class as a title that was free day one on Game Pass, a fact of the gaming landscape that I constantly feel like we’re on the verge of having a reckoning with. Anyway!

9) Rumbleverse

I must preface this blurb with the fact that I have completely fallen off of Rumbleverse and I am genuinely sad I don’t have more to say about it. It’s been probably 3 months since I last fired into Grapital City, but the pull to go back amidst my neuroses and general malaise has been strong. It’s one of the few battle royale games where the insane love for its inspirations and the dedication poured into the game itself both shine right through. From the looser fighting game influence in its move priority and combo systems, to the completely unmistakable wrestling mark DNA, Rumbleverse is authentic and just plain fun. Compared to your bog-standard, shooty-bang-bang battle royale, the hype, guttural-noise-inducing moment ratio is off the fucking charts here, and that’s reason enough for me to include it.

By the way, every now and then I’ll hear people bemoan the fact that there are no melee-focused battle royale games. The fact that this game did not once and for all solve this quandry for people despite being the best implementation of that concept? It makes me want to scream.

8) Marvel Snap

Don’t look at me like that.

I really didn’t expect to like Marvel Snap. I’m not a comic book or superhero movie guy, but it’s amazing what being both free and available on Steam can do for you. Despite starting a little rough and having some growing pains in making decks that I actually wanted to use, the game of Snap itself is undeniably fun and incredibly easy to fall into. As of the time of writing this, I’m collection level 593 and I can no longer deny that I’m just playing it for giggles. This is the game that the certain-Blizzard-card-game-playing-me of 2017 wanted and just didn’t realize. Despite the whale bait in this very obviously mobile card game being clear and evident, and the fact that there is no way to assuredly get cards you want before level 500, I still somehow feel like this is the one online CCG I’ve seen that treats you with some modicum of respect... so long as you pace yourself and play in chunks. The quick nature of Snap, of course, isn’t really conducive to this, but you really just have to chalk that one up to terrible, awful, no-good, very bad mammalian reward responses.

I know the one thing that people just cannot shut up about is the game’s brevity, but it really is important to herald. As someone who’s played half-hour Hearthstone matches, it’s an undeniable factor in its continued popularity. After a particularly rough two days in late November where I kept snapping and kept playing despite losing six(!) ranks, I remembered an extremely salient realization I had while falling out of love with MOBAs a few years ago— if it sucks bad enough, you can leave. You can hit da bricks, so to speak, if you’re not making anyone else suffer as a result of it. If you’ve put a handful of your chips on black the last six spins and lost every time, it's okay to walk away from the goddamn table.

Latent gambling impulses aside, Snap is undeniably fantastic, and not even the only card game I’ve been playing this year.

7) Downfall: Slay The Spire

I’ve played a lot of Slay The Spire. It’s probably not even a fraction as much as the truly dedicated card gaming wizards that I’ll occasionally see screenshots from on the Community Hub, but damn, I love that game. Slay The Spire also came to me in a weird time; I was knee deep in my graveyard shift job at a gas station and spent my evenings, (7AM-11AM on any given day,) trying DESPERATELY to find a game that didn’t require too much of me but was still engaging enough to play between smoking pot, drinking, doing laundry, or all three. I bought the game on a whim, knowing only that it was a rogueli(k)(t)e and a card game, then fell ass over end into a Spire shaped hole.

Downfall: Slay The Spire is a lovingly crafted mod that pretty much just serves as an excuse to get me to play even more of this damn game. From the incredibly well-translated boss characters to the Hermit’s ability to pass as a character that Mega Crit would’ve made themselves, Downfall is fantastic. It could easily pass as an officially released expansion, and it's something I’ve already lauded over in the Steam Reviews for it

6) HYPER DEMON

This shit is bananas, man. I loved Devil Daggers so, so much, and despite still being squarely stuck 50 seconds away from the Devil Dagger, I swear I will get it before I shuffle off this mortal coil. And you’re gonna give me another lofty goal to strive for in a completely different game 6 years later? Fuck you m4tt. I love you m4tt.

I’ve played 3 ½ hours of HYPER DEMON so far. It was all in one sitting. I was amazed I didn’t forget to breathe during all of those 210 minutes. It’s the exact same all-consuming, focus demanding immersion that Devil Daggers ensnared me with in 2016. It’s Devil Daggers: Puzzle Fighter. It’s a cocktail of cosmic horror, Windows Media Player visualizer, Quake 3 montage over-editing, what I imagine the visual sensation of DMT looks like, and pure, unfettered skill-based FPS ecstasy. HYPER DEMON holds you to the sanding belt of its incomprehensible blazing-fast iridescent horrorscape and is unfeeling to whether you can handle it or not. I want more.

I need to play more. I will be playing more. I live to serve SORATH.

5) Super Mario 64 — B3313

I have never completed Super Mario 64. In fact, to my recollection, I never actually owned a copy of it despite having an N64 around the time of its release. I did, however, play an awful lot of this Super Mario 64 romhack in January. It has stuck with me ever since.

In second? grade I’d pass the controller at my best friend's house, as each of us desperately tried to clinch the red coin star in Lethal Lava Land or not tumble off Cool, Cool Mountain. In my teens I’d boot up an emulated copy through Project64 and try, to my behest, to play a game that paled in comparison to the breadth of experiences I’d already had with, at the time, recently released games. (Of course, when your high watermark is something like Garry’s Mod with workshop support or Just Cause 2, anything else feels like hoop and stick.) Even still, I appreciated what Mario 64 meant at both of these stages of my life, for one reason or another. Now, as an adult who claims to have a pretty good understanding of video gaming history, that respect has only deepened.

As a kid, I could recall broad strokes of the in-game world when I was away from the Mario Sanctioned Zone of my best friend’s house. The general layout of the first floor of Peach’s Castle, the first Bowser stage, the royal slide, as well as strange fragments of the hub world architecture scattered through my brainspace. In the days after a hang-out or sleepover, I’d devise ways to get around stages in my head, but SM64 never stuck in my craw for long amounts of time. Yet, I still had moments where it was forced back into my consciousness.

During a particularly shitty bout with the flu when I was about seven, my child brain conjured up visions of a castle that… sort of existed. In between retching up anything that wasn't saltines and soup, half-watched segments of Nickelodeon’s Games and Sports channel, and confronting the sickly taste of bile and lemon-lime Gatorade, I’d pass in and out of dreams, seeing feverish facsimiles of Mario 64. Strange floating voids that might’ve resembled a run-up to Bowser, Tick-Tock-Clocks that didn’t seem to match up with what was on the cartridge, and impossibly long hallways that bled into one another.

I had a passing knowledge of the “every copy of SM64 is personalized” “meme” before playing B3313, and saw increasingly convoluted icebergs and the Wario Apparition, (something that thankfully doesn’t show up in this romhack,) as laughably goofy addendums to already lame gaming creepypastas. The general idea of this hack, despite being fueled by this mix of amateur horror, is something still so genuinely fascinating to me. It's not even really the concept of a game with a “personalization AI,” but moreso the idea of imperfect memory. Things might be changing without any input from some spooky and malicious entity pulling the strings, you just can't remember what these places looked like. Those who are as equally fascinated with B3313 as I am use that term— “fever dream.” They use it liberally when talking about the general feel of the romhack, while also mentioning that at some point during their childhood, they would also have dreams about parts of Mario 64 that didn’t exist, or were slightly off. As one of those people, B3313 nails that exact feeling one-hundred percent.

Super Mario 64: B3313 is a fever dream come true. It’s a slurry of beta, demo-build and original content that bleeds into areas from the retail copy of Super Mario 64. Despite its brief, eyeroll-worthy, yet awkwardly fitting brushes with metatextual horror writing, (enter this cave if you want to see your deepest fears unfold!!!!!!!!!,) the main conceit of this strange, alternate-history beta-dump Mario romhack still hits like a guided missile to my brain. The seldom-played yet still familiar memories of Peach's Castle turn from a welcoming environment into an LSD: the Dream Emulator-esque maze of doors to entirely different castles, alternate versions of existing Mario worlds, densely foggy ominous hallways, and harshly inhuman architecture. It’s bizarre, surprisingly unsettling and manages to evoke a sense of familiar unfamiliarity.

B3313, Wet Dry World’s Negative Emotional Aura and the Personalized Copy concepts are at a bizarrely interesting confluence of childhood imagination, video game folklore, niche meme culture, and, most importantly to me, the impermanence of memory. It already feels like decades ago that we were telling people that, no, Nelson Mandela did not die in prison, the Berenstain bears’ surname was just being misremembered, and, uh, that Taco Bell never had “medium” sauce, but there’s something weirdly different about the foggy, self-aware recollection of sections from Peach’s Castle that never actually existed. There’s an unspoken understanding in YouTube comment sections and other circles versed with B3313 that none of this is, y’know, for real. It’s all gotten a bit tongue and cheek and suffocatingly ironic now, and while some would consider this a horrible breaching of kayfabe, I see it as a necessity to prevent B3313 and other experiences like it from becoming deeply lame, reminiscent of the early days of extremely self-serious YouTube ARGs.

There’s a seal that you break at some point if you came up playing video games. It’s the realization that everything in the game you’re currently playing is there on the disc. Emotion engines and curated experiences cannot magically conjure a completely unique experience specifically for you. With digital games, automatic updates, and the increasing capabilities of neural networks and AI, this becomes a harder point to make, but we’re not quite to the point where games can just generate new assets out of thin air. New content speeds through pipelines for still-alive service games, patch notes get nailed to the theoretical doors of your chosen Gaming Chapel, yet ghosts do not haunt hardware. There is no “personalization AI” present in a two-decade old N64 rom, and with how fast information travels and the fact that leaking video game news and secrets is basically a goddamned industry now, most games don’t get to keep their secrets for long, no matter how much I may want them to.

As you do with the childhood loss of innocence, you learn to eventually understand and cope with the feeling that games are not infinite dream machines made for you and you alone. However, you inevitably replace that malaise and disappointment with the fact that these collections of data and if-then statements still have so, so much to share with you. Experiences like B3313 come along from time to time to serve as a haunting reminder, though. This romhack is a transmission from a moderately different yet hauntingly similar reality that threatens to plunge you back into the depths of childlike mystique, wonder, and, funnily enough, horror, but with your current adult understanding and awareness. It’s equally as enticing as it is terrifying.

I know part of it is just getting older, not having enough space in your head for everything, and generally just "recording over" less important events in your life, but I've realized in the last few years that I don't remember parts of my childhood. I'm not talking year long spans or anything like that, but traumatic experiences that my brain has blotted out, or lengths of time that I just used to remember very succinctly. I don't think my childhood was any more or less extraordinary than anyone else's, probably on the "less" side of that spectrum, actually, but… it just feels weird. In finding old TV show uploads and reliving games from that time period, I feel like I've been trying to piece it back together or convince myself that I shouldn't. I think this romhack, in its own way, helped me cope with a little bit of that.

Playing B3313 is tasting honey lemon cough drops as I sweat into my childhood bedsheets, drifting in and out of tenuous sleep in my dark bedroom in the middle of the day. In its own weird way, it’s beautiful.

4) Hitman: World of Assassination

Thanks for sticking with me through that.

Up until recently, I always felt like an outsider when I said I was a fan of the Hitman games. I loved Blood Money when I was at the ripe old age of 10, and loved watching Tom Bowen’s “How Not To Play Hitman” series slightly more than actually playing it. I did end up finishing Blood Money, eventually moving onto Silent Assassin and, for some reason, Codename 47. I could not finish the first, nor stomach the latter, and it always made me feel like… a poser, I guess? They were pretty “hardcore” games at the time, known for stringent stealth and detection mechanics, and looking at forum posts and videos at the time it felt like I wasn’t getting The Full Experience by not being a bad enough dude to play them, let alone get Silent Assassin ranks. The World of Assassination trilogy has blown that locked door off the fucking hinges for me.

The three newest Hitman games are wonderful romps. As someone who’s been following Giant Bomb for a decade and loved their Hitman coverage and content, it feels like I’m just copying their homework here, but oh well. From throwing homing briefcases and walking around as a clown with a WA2000, to actually seeing the bald beauty's story wrap in the third chapter, Hitman asks you to take these games as seriously as you can. While you’re still definitely Agent 47, (nom de guerre, Tobias Rieper,) and still definitely going through an actually pretty good plot thrust in between garroting sociopathic billionaires, you are given carte blanche to steal so many clothes, chuck so many wrenches and empty as much lead into bystanders as possible with very little restriction. It's this distinction that I feel makes stuff like World of Assasination and, in my opinion, the Dead Rising series work. Comedy is often a hard thing to do in games, and I feel it's best left up to player expression and interpretation in most cases.

Whenever possible, I WILL go for alert-less stealth runs in any game where it's possible, and I killed hours meticulously reloading checkpoints, or missions wholesale, in the World Of Assassination trilogy back in February just to get Silent Assassin. But I also had plenty of moments where I had to break my own self-imposed restrictions to, for example, shoot Vanya Shah right in the back of her smug head and beat a quick, immediately exposed retreat as I let the exhausted sweatshop workers she rules over see her body careen two stories to the ground below her. This was a moment so satisfying that I am struggling to not reinstall the game right now and record a clip myself. (By the way, while Hitman has never been about killing people who don’t deserve it, WoA’s targets ride a hell of a line between being laughably sociopathic and ripped from the headlines of [what is hopefully not] the near future. I really do admire it.)

Hitman had some of my absolute favorite moments this year and, despite it pushing you strongly to a lot of those moments, they never felt unearned. I often yearn for the desire to feel like I truly was the brain genius who earned my moments, but Hitman helped lessen some of that stringency on myself while still allowing me to push my understanding of the game. From throwing Erich Soders’ replacement heart into the trash to whacking the Janus in a send-up to Blood Money’s A New Life, it’s some of the most satisfied I’ve ever been getting lead to water.

And, god, that fucking mission in Berlin? Insane. Insane. I know people talk up Dartmoor a lot and it does deserve it but… man.

3) Dicey Dungeons

In the midst of my summer-time seasonal depression, nothing was really working for me. I found myself pouring over what was on PC Game Pass, writing off games that seemed like too much of an undertaking after I’d completed a certain, lengthy RPG earlier in the season. Dicey Dungeons was a blip on my radar once upon a time, but had slipped through the cracks of my memory until I scrolled past it in my Xbox app, then inched my way back up to it.

I am both surprised and not that I spent SO much time playing Dicey Dungeons this year. As a man that will play any rogueli(k)(t)e you put in front of me at least to the completion of one successful run, it’s basic fuckin’ math. It’s the logical conclusion of just how rudimentary you can make a roguelike and have me still play it.

It’s also, by technicality, the third god damned card game on this list.

Dead simple— Dicey Dungeons is a game of rogueli(k)(t)e Yahtzee with RPG classes, inventory management, and an absolutely fantastic soundtrack that has me picking up my chiptune defending sword-and-board once again. The fate of your runs are, with some influence from the player, entirely up to literal dice rolls. I truly love just how much the game leans into being a stone-cold RNG fest, down to the fact that the entire thing takes place in a game(show) of fate hosted by an anthropomorphized Lady Luck. Its writing and enemy design is sickeningly, saccharine sweet and just a tiny skosh insufferable, but it never gets in the way of how rock solid and addictive the game itself is. So much so that I squeezed this damn game dry of content.

I’ve seen quite literally every piece of new content the game has to offer shy of the Halloween expansion, (it turns the game into a lethal puzzle thing, just not my cup of tea,) and I still had to stop writing this section of the list to go play a quick round. Played Robot in Parallel Universe with a decisive victory against Madison, in case you’re curious. And I cranked the volume in the boss fight for the first time since I turned it down to catch up on podcasts and video essays while whittling through the end-game hard modes. Lifeline goes completely insane as does the rest of the soundtrack. I was throwing ass in my kitchen making sandwiches listening to this months ago. This game just rules.

2) Yakuza 7: Like A Dragon

Of all the ‘guys’ I have claimed to not be in this GOTY list, I am, maybe least of them all, a turn-based RPG guy. I’ve tried, multiple times to breach them, and the best I can get is about halfway through most mainline Pokemon games before the tedium of Okay Now You Go battling gets to me. And yeah, I know, I just got done rattling on about two different card and dice-based roguelikes that are also turn based but… that’s different, y’know? I’m not just highlighting Firaga and watching an animation play out, I’m throwin’ dice and channeling lightning orbs and…

Look, it’s not important. What is important is I finished my first fucking Yakuza game this year. And it was the goddamn turn based RPG! Yakuza 7 is one of the most charming and enjoyable games I’ve played in my life! And it’s a turn based RPG!

That’s horrifying!

I don’t need to sing the praises of any of Ryu Ga Gotoku’s games. If you’re following me, you’re probably fully bought into the series or have heard people around you audibly get boners for Goro Majima and Kazuma Kiryu. In fact, I find it incredibly difficult to write anything new or provocative about this game that hasn’t already been said, but I just feel so strongly about it. It’s the insanely fun video-game-meets-real-life premise and immeasurably loveable cast of misfits that excel. It’s the heat moves. It’s Zhao. It’s the raw passion, genuine heartbreak, and joy of just being here that really got me. It’s Zhao again. Combine all that with an active battle system that satisfies the goopy goblin gamer brain’s need for near constant input and man? I’m set.

I know through cultural osmosis that Yakuza is a series about a few key things: compassion, loyalty, the bonds we share with others, and what loyalty really means. Yakuza 7 obviously has all of this in spades, but especially what it has to say about the lower/working class, anyone unfortunate enough to be homeless, sex workers, and those from impoverished backgrounds is so effortlessly excellent that it makes me excited to go back and play this series from the word go. I’ll miss the hell out of Ichiban and the shonen protagonist brand of fire-blooded vigor and bullheadedness he brought, but I’m excited to (…eventually) start anew.

1) Jabroni Brawl: Episode 3

Here we are. Finally. I’m not only writing something about a released version of Jaykin Bacon Jabroni Brawl, but I also genuinely feel it’s my game of the year. And now that we’ve arrived at this juncture I just keep thinking… what the hell do I even say about this game? I found something, but fuck, it took a while:

It must be said that I was raised in a triple parent household: I was brought up by my mother, father, and the Source engine. When I was 9 years old, I tuned into a mid day re-run of the now anicent television program The Screensavers that showed off version five of Garry’s Mod. At that point, I’d already played scattered chunks of the short, but enthralling Half-Life 2 demo we had on our family computer, (of course, the Icthyosaur jumpscare and being teleported to Ravenholm scared me right off,) but hadn't picked up the game. I begged my poor cash strapped father for a copy probably too many times, and after we both realized the pirated copy he nabbed wouldn’t be compatible, got a Half-Life 2 & Counter Strike: Source double pack for me as a birthday/Christmas gift.

I loved Garry’s Mod. I’ve got no clue how many hours I poured into version 9 before its subsequent release on Steam as an officially sanctioned mod, but let’s just say it was a lot. In December 2005 I joined the Facepunch forums, learned the difference between models and textures, corrected a lot of spelling mistakes, had my first bouts with navigating Windows folder directories, definitely made some crude sex poses, and found my first group of online friends shortly thereafter. I would eventually slowly slip away from regular patronage to Facepunch sometime in the early 2010s, but the impact it had on me as a youth is unquestionable. We can talk about whether it was a net good some other time though.

Before this gets too far into navel gazing and nostalgia, I’ll say that along the line I played a wonderful mod for Half-Life 1 called Half-Life 2: Jaykin Bacon Source that serves as the genesis for Jabroni Brawl. It’s a mess, but up until its Facepunch-branded revival and subsequent alpha/beta tests, it was the only thing I’d ever played like it. It’s full of ripped assets from other mods, purposefully goofy voice acting from its shithead (lovingly) teenage creator, and plenty of stuff taken from the then-recent Metal Gear Solid 3, a game I had also fallen in love with prior. It was dumb fun that I have forced multiple groups of friends at varying stages of my life to play and have a ludicrous amount of attachment to.

And Jabroni Brawl: Episode 3 is that, all over again, from the faithfully recreated weapons and impenetrable Facepunch callbacks, to the fact that this more or less ended up being a surprisingly official-feeling love letter to anyone who has ever made anything in either Source or Goldsrc. Jabroni Brawl knows what it is, and that’s all it is. It’s a deathmatch mod for and by the people still cherishing the rapidly atrophying muscular structure of a game engine that just won’t seem to die. It's for the people who want to get a group of people together on a Friday and throw friction grenades at/fart on each other. And that's all it needs to be to knock it out of the park.

Source and its modding scene still means a lot to people, myself included. For a lot of us weirdoes, it was a playground that evolved into a way to make friends, hone skills and even turn interests into hobbies and jobs.

But hey, this is getting KINDA GAY!!!!!!!!

Jabroni Brawl is frenetic FPS bullshit. It’s terminally stupid, rough around the edges, and unbelievably fun with the right people. Jabroni Brawl is gaming. It’s e-sports. It's, dare I say, hobby-grade. And it’s a complete goddamn miracle. I mean, fuck, this is probably the one project to start on Facepunch and actually see the light of day, right? Even seeing the Tales From The Galactopticon models in the customization menu made me feel positively ancient.

Here’s an in-game clip of a good friend killing himself in maybe the funniest way I’ve ever seen. Take care, and Feliz Navidad.

#goty #long post #writing

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