#even tho i dont have the freedom/time to keep up w/ them as much as i used to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zuureleena · 9 months

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i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 fanart #tf2 fanart #tf2 memes #tf2 mercs #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 administrator #tf2 oc

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temporarymoods · 3 months

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aggressive hey

i always promise so much.

rarely do i fail to deliver.

except when it comes to writing.

i'm not even sure what i want to write about now, but i guess a couple things right off first:

haven't posted to the blog in a while

have thought about it a lot ever since (throughout november, december and winter break, the first two months of the spring semester, + a week)

just can't sit down and do it sometimes

but I've got a lot of ideas. lack of blog posts absolutely not correlating with lack of things to say...

i utilize my notes app extensively, there's some ideas there, but i don't want to go in at random, that would feel wrong and i couldn't maintain this meter of writing that i'm already doing, so.... Dune.

just learned about what's going on with Dune, in the Dune world, and so on. first attempt at watching the movie a couple years ago left me feeling silly but, i'm better now. i want to read the book over the summer, in a hammock. there are a lot of things i want to do this summer. those are all over my notes app, too, and on my wall. i don't think "dating" makes the list, though girls remain pretty.

SUMMER * dinner parties, on the porch, heavily curated * farmers markets, fresh produce w/ baked goods * indirect sunshine * direct sunshine * shrooms * sand * biking * the movies w/ a sweatshirt around my waist * a bong, graduation present to self * better clothes * movies, at home tho, lots * ice cream * camping and lake swimming * working * walking through the park * the hardware store (for what?) * feeling like i did it * sports games (spectator)

that's just naming a few. hopefully a lot of them can come true. i want to let my body feel good, it knows what to do, you know?

speaking of: dry sex life. mostly. but that's just on me, my doing, so i cannot really complain, but just state. for future record. that im still in my contented-single era, haven't quite hit the wall that keeps you bothered about it yet. cool cool. guess some time w a stranger couldn't be that bad, if i made it fun for me. what a weird concept. i love my friends, that is already so much. saw a corny tweet about that today. didn't like it because it would show up on friends' feeds and that's just,, ugh. true though

february was kind of ungovernable (what else can i say besides 'crazy' or 'wild'???) in a bitches testing me way (lmao) but no in a... here, see for yourself: [from my notes]

<<Feb 1st, downhill instantly>>

Feb 4th>>

Priorities

Comfort and Wellbeing

Feb 6th>>

Sick email

Hi Prof,

This is Kate from your ( ) class.

Just writing to let you know that over the past couple days I’ve been experiencing symptoms of a medical emergency.

Feb 19th>>

i feel like peopke have been pretty critical with my recently and i dont like that

lowkey infuriated

el tuesday [these are things I write down that I wanted to talk to el about on tuesday]

having to defend myself a lot recently

maybe i should cut my acts (self centered, crazy/stupid) (dramatic, unserious) [REDACTED]

would normally want to talk to a therapist about my natural desires to do things that feel important to me but are deemed odd/wrong by others ex. [REDACTED] but also wouldn’t normally pick such a birds eye topic because we get engrossed in the little things. but still: is there something fucking wrong w me? is it bpd? am i 2 hippie 2 quit?

doing things for the plot, to experience things (different)

my whole idea of human relationships in general

Feb 21st>>

blog

was very overwhelmed this morning— hadnt felt that anxious in a loooooonggg time!!— but lunch w gray and lab partner (liz?) was so beautiful & im like, again, omg i love life + my friends ☀️☀️🌞🌞

Feb 23rd>>

Mom - therapy hospital $$

Feb 29th>>'

“By anarchist spirit I mean that deeply human sentiment, which aims at the good of all, freedom and justice for all, solidarity and love among the people; which is not an exclusive characteristic only of self-declared anarchists, but inspires all people who have a generous heart and an open mind.” Errico Malatesta, Umanita Nova, April 13, 1922

* * *

so that's that... i think hopefully that says a lot, captures a feeling. i knew it was a month to remember like halfway through, you know? and it ending with a 1 year breakup anniversary... classic. reflective. so glad it's march though, damn! haters were taking up too much space. i say that jokingly obviously but also if you dare to read through the lines you might observe that i am in fact quite upset about the attacks leveraged at me over the course of a couple nights in a short span of time that were all off base and random and yet still hurtful anyway it was a weird pattern there's no denying! it doesnt help the identity crisis, which is in FULL SWING !

who am i?

idfk man. let's consult the March notes app, shall we?

March 1st, 3am>>

dont like cleaning bc dont like confronting the waste i make

March 1st, 2pm>>

in love a little bit with a handful of my friends but for various reasons dating them is not in the question & will never be! how relieving to know that

March 6th>>

Candlelit charcuterie night

* * *

feel like these don't shine as bright but they're certainly better. im supposed to get my period today and i had no idea. but wait let me clarify that you should not take that second note to mean that i have feelings for my friends i do not, just read it another way idk

music been good recently.

rn its 2018 peach pit (Drop the Guillotine) but that's definitely not representative. Lime Garden's album One More Thing is though. and Grimes still, if im not doing that persona enough. and Car Seat Headrest, but in an on wait - always way. like a fucking brother. rest of the good shit is just in my Liked Songs kind of at whim. special selection: Chosen to Deserve by Wednesday. Next up should be RINA bc alr found 2 songs on there I really enjoy. but even now im off hyperpop for a week, lmao. what happens when you go camping.

towel party next week aunt in the hospital mom visiting in like 1 second more job interviews tomorrow research to do havent unpacked yet its spring break i just keep getting high and getting through it i really do love my friends

there's probably so much about this life that i'm going to miss. and i look forward to the time where i actually have the space to consider that. more choice

a poem to close us out, and maybe i'll upload some pictures tomorrow. (haha, odds?) thanks for reading. just off the radio show juice, Fri Mar 8 3:20am. common time for me recently. stealing back my peace in the wee hours oft'

i heard symphonies who wouldn't let me sleep the everysound of rain on wood my ear on wood the same

i taste dairy soft despite my body taking my time i do not think

scratching at my head i can do this this i can do which lets me cave in

i laugh a lot it makes me cry a lot of tears a lot of love

i love sooooooo ( ) all to say ( )

<3, Kate

#late winter #on fire #exhausted #reaching #smiling

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hyunverse · 1 year

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omfg i cannot imagine a life without fall. that is so tragic. the rory gilmore vibe is definitely there especially bc i live in nyc so you can really get the fall grasp yk ? YEA can we please talk about changbin in the samsung ad bc holy shit. he’s like. legit perfect. aren’t they all tho like isn’t that why we’re all here in the first place 🤭. i cant get enough of them

100% agree i can’t imagine having a s/o rn. tooooo much work and i’m just not mentally there yet yk 😭 the thought is a lot nicer than the reality of it

i can bet money that you would beat me and that i am far from a bowling prodigy 😔. i have no coordination whatsoever. i’m also extremely short with tiny hands and arms (me and felix are twins) so i’d look an absolute fool LMAO. and it is so cute we do the opposites at the same time but still can communicate like just little humans doing cute little human things on our little phones

cute minho pics 100% made my day better. his little pout i’m distraught <///3. this is my second day w an awful migraine idk what my deal is 💔. i hope your day was good tho and you get some good rest tonight love :)) i read some of your hyunjin stuff again before falling asleep last night and i swear i shed a tear. too much fluff for my sick heart hyunjin just makes me SOFT

- 🐈‍⬛

tragic innit 💔 i sound british ANYWAY. waa u live in nyc? that’s sickkkk. how’s life there like? i only ever see nyc people complain abt the rodents on the streets and random people tryna get u to listen to their mixtape 💀 i hope ure not. . . rodent infested? all jokes pls dont hate me </3 the seungmin kinnie in me popped out for a sec.

changbin’s biceps r so big it gives me the urge to sink my teef in them. go absolutely bonkers with it </3

during my last semester, my roommate had a boyfriend, and she would argue with her boyfriend pretty much everyday so it kind of made me not want one. because imagine finishing your assignments at 1am, and arguing with your boyfriend ‘til 4am? and then having to wake up at 6? i don’t think i can handle that. so many of my friends’ boyfriends ended up being a bit controlling too, not letting them go out and have fun with guy friends. (even with other girls around them!) i feel like at this age, i want the freedom to do anything i want, u get me? a boyfriend would definitely stop that.

it’s ok, i bowl funny too. i’m pretty sure the way i bowl the ball isn’t correct but we r all unique ‼️ who cares if im not swinging my arm right? LMAOO. i have long arms but my hands are tiny so i guess we’re matching at that too 😭 i love felix’s tiny hands. especially when they’re compared with hyune’s like. . . he got hyune looking like a whole gorilla 😟

u are my tiny silly little companion in my tiny silly little phone <3 i’m glad minho made u feel better, i hope your day is better today! i’m sorry to hear about your migraine, my love. have you taken painkillers? drink enough water and do take your meals on time or i will fly to nyc and do it for u. (this is a threat.) my day was so slow LMAO i did absolutely nothing! though i did receive exciting news — got a 4.0 gpa and into the dean’s list!! ‘m overjoyed!! spent the day laying as reward. (thats my excuse for being lazy) thank u for reading my fics hehe. comments like that make me wanna keep going :-) i wanna write a oneshot abt playing with his hair!!!

sending u warm hugs ^__^ with much love frm your rin <3

#i will sign out like that frm now on #rin's lovemail!#🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

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kyunsies · 2 years

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WAAAAH i just realized i never responded 😭😭 i’m sorry. i too wish i had know about kpop in high school, i was very much into 1D and bieber 🙃 i transitioned from CNCO and reggaeton to kpop….that was a ride going from spanish to korean 😂 but anyway i agree about 3rd gen music being so timeless, i do love it very much.

about 4th gen they really are getting younger and younger. every time i see their ages i audibly gasp, they’re younger than my sister (she’s 03). i personally think they shouldn’t be debuting any younger than 19 but i’m considered ancient to kpop stans so who am i to have an opinion lol but i keep thinking of all the discourse over shohei, the new sm rookie and ppl complaining about him being 96 line. personally I AM ALL for him debuting!

anyway i do hope ppl migrate back to tumbly bc twt is so ehhhh. i mean i use it a lot but i barely follow anyone except the groups i stan. though it would be nice to have more moots lol but only good ones

HI AGAIN LINA !!!! i hope u have been doing well these past few weeks we didn't talk!!! ITS TOTALLY OKAY !!!! i've been a bit busy so absolutely no worries, you just take your time <3 but LSDKFJ STOP i was such a hard core directioner in high school it's not even funny ;____; listened to all their albums kept up w everything they did all that jazz lsdkfj :') but ooooooh spanish music too!!! that's cool that you have experienced a lot of fandoms tho skldfjs it's always interesting :) and YEAH i don't want to sound stuck in my ways all the time and ofc i think there is talent all over the place, 3rd gen will always just have a special place in my heart <3

and yes 4th gen just keeps on getting younger and younger and like, i do think that it's cool that ppl are recognizing talent at a young age! but i agree with you in that there has to be some sort of system behind this stuff lol like, i think i've heard somewhere that nct has some new SM rookies and one of them is a 98 liner or something (which is my age lmao) and like !!! fans are getting mad that this is considered 'old' like,,,,,,,how messed up is that?? sorry i don't think children should be exposed to the crippling industry that is entertainment where you are basically being stripped from your core under the eyes of millions of ppl SLDKFJ ;____; i'm sure i'm considered ancient for kpop fans standards (i turn 24 this december hhh) but it's literally crazy how the younger generation has such a warped idea of what is "old" and in kpop it's no different,,,,, like did anyone give other ppl crap for liking one direction at literally any stage of life ?? i don't think so !!!! i am ranting at this point i am SORRY SLDFKJ but i just think it's getting really toxic that so many younger fans are putting like, an "age limit" on how to enjoy things that genuinely make us happy and that the younger you debut is the better when it's like no you need to become a resilient older individual i think !!! AND THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS LOL i completely agree w you lina !!!!!

and PLS DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THATTT after wonho left there was such a huge migration from monbebe tumblr to twt because of hashtagging and stuff but i was surprised mbb never migrated back here :( tumblr although is a hellsite LMAO gives you much more creative freedom not to mention the algorithm just makes SENSE. i hate twt besides being updated on stuff as well kdsjf <3

#asks #jaebinhoon #lina 👽

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la-ro-ki · 3 years

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rewatching the stream where fundy n phil meet michael and i remembered how pissed it makes me lmaoo upset ramblings under da cut bc it got long kjfskjsj

the beginning where phil n ranboo drown him is ehh but i let it slide bc it pales in comparison to the tower fjssklskl they rlly made fundy jump from a tall ass tower over and over just to get back his stuff (which!! he didnt even rlly want most of it back tbh!!!!! just the shclatt sword :[ ) and killed him repeatedly. i get that they dont like him (well tbh its mostly phil although tubbo n ranboo certainly dont object) but hes very non confrontational and docile during this visit even as hes getting drowned and just jkjldlskldkssld despite all that he still wants to go along with them to see michael and thats a whole other disaster.

i think fundy is one of the few ppl whos given legitimate criticism of the beeduos treatment of michael and is in a place to give that criticism?? like the direct parallels between fundy n michael are Right There and it sucks. it sucks so much. his whole point is just straight up ignored too in favor of the argument ‘michael is a mob’ bc that point is just bad. michael cannot be treated as both a mob and a child bc those hold very different statuses in the dream smp. if beeduo wanted to canonize him being straight up sentient or a hybrid then thatd be different but like. they have to choose one or the other, they cant just switch to whatever benefits them the most in that moment. michael, a mob, dying would be awful because beeduo is attached to him as a particularly special pet. michael, a CHILD, dying would be downright horrific because it would be beeduo losing their very young son. if hes killed then its the same argument. a pet killer and a child killer are drastically different things.

if michaels a mob then of course fundys idea of he might want a lil freedom is a bit silly. if michaels a child tho then fundy is completely right in that its wrong of them to keep him locked up. ive seen ppl miss fundys point entirely too and point out that clearly the beeduo love michael bc theyre giving him a huge ass manison. the problem isnt that his bedroom is small (well it is but less severe) but that hes not allowed outside or to see anyone other than beeduo and rare visitors. beeduo can give him the biggest mansion they can buy but it doesnt change anything. wilbur gave fundy an entire COUNTRY and it still wasnt enough to salvage their relationship.

speaking of wilbur, ranboos snarky comment abt how fundys relationship with his dad wasnt the best either was fucked up and it made me feel gross. fundys relationship with wilbur is literally what makes him such a good (if not slightly biased) judge of the situation?? hes BEEN in michaels role before and he has a unique perspective on it. his suggestions werent even that bad, they were literally like ‘maybe take him outside occasionally’ or ‘let people come hang out w him’. tommy straight up said he wanted to kill michael multiple times and the beeduo was less hostile to him. also when fundy was killed in michaels room and he was like ‘hey please dont let michael accidentally grab my stuff’. and everyone was like ‘lmaoo what a fuckin loser sure hope this mob doesnt grab your lore related weapon and netherite gear’. then fundy got mad and said hed kill michael if he grabbed any of his stuff, which is completely reasonable??? fundy was killed, he didnt die by accident, and hed been nothing but kind to michael directly even after being told hes technically a mob. hes allowed to decide that the life of one pet is worth getting his very important heavily grinded items back. beeduo are like ‘we’ll make ur life living hell if u kill michael’ like they werent the ones who killed him and threatened to let his stuff despawn. phil shows a bit of mercy but its immediately taken back. bc phil, fuckin phil that bitch, taunts him by hiding some of his stuff in his inventory to bait him into killing michael.

im probs gonna stop it here but im so fuckin genuinely pissed bc the entire stream is like that and from a lore pov its just the fucking worst. theres nothing to justify them treating fundy like that in any way when fundy has done so little to any of them jsfssdklsdks grrrrrrr

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piratemadi · 4 years

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i really think about vane so often. he has so much in common w flint maybe not biographically but the parallels btwn them are really underrated i think. like theyre both so principled but the difference is that flint’s principles were forged w Love. loving thomas and loving miranda (and then later loving silver and madi) were so important to flint’s war cuz at the end of the day he was fighting it for the people he loved. whereas vane’s principles were born of violence and bloodlust and ultimately a desire for freedom above all. like that weird little conversation in miranda’s house where vane was like i dont need comfort i would rather die than be comfortable and flint is like...ok it was all about vane saying that love and comfort and domesticity might as well be shackles! to him love+comfort is something that WEAKENS rather than STRENGTHENS and he wouldnt risk being weakened bc he needs to defend his freedom its the most important thing in the world to him! his principles r the most important thing in the world to him. and to him, love would weaken that. he doesnt want to even be able to betray his principles for love.

but ofc how can a person be whole and happy without having ever felt unconditional love and comfort? it’s tragic the way vane never experiences that and the only thing he clings to is freedom and the strength he needs to defend it. flint’s struggle is defined by love and vane’s by a lack of it. flint’s hallucination of miranda says to him “When I first met you, you were so... unformed. And then I spoke and bade you cast aside your shame, and Captain Flint was born into the world... the part of you that always existed yet never were you willing to allow into the light of day. I was mistress to you when you needed love. I was wife to you when you needed understanding. But first and before all... I was mother.” and at first i thought that was so strange but then later in the jail cell. eleanor is lost to vane just as surely as miranda is lost to flint. and eleanor says to him “You're not a man. You're deformed. Unformed. Flesh, bone, and bile, and missing all that which takes shape through a mother's love. You cannot comprehend what you took from me or why it was good, because there is no goodness in you. There is no humanity in you, no capacity for compromise, nor instinct toward repair, nor progress.” the good that miranda and thomas did for flint was literally bringing him into the world by loving him. that love keeps flint going, even thru the worst times in his life, even when it seems like everything is lost. that capacity for compromise, that instinct for repair and progress is because flint was loved and loved in return. and vane never was. that parallel is explicit but subtle. unformed, before the formative love of a mother.

obv eleanor was going a little hard on him cuz she hated him LOL like vane WAS principled! equally as principled as flint and madi! but flint and madi were people who cared deeply about love and community and humanity. but the reason that vane will always choose violence and brutality over love and comfort is not just bc he’s never really felt love and comfort is bc those principles that flint and madi internalized with love? vane internalized w violence. like flint was inspired to fight for freedom for his lost loves, madi was inspired to fight for freedom for her people, and vane was inspired to fight for freedom cuz what gave him freedom to begin w was violence. he was a slave as a child, and then blackbeard, the most fucked up guy EVER, took him under his wing and brought him to nassau, which is a cesspool of violence and also vane’s only real home. everything good in vane’s life, his freedom, his principles, was bought w blood. and he considers that its better that way bc he thinks that love would weaken him.

and the crazy thing is that the narrative ultimately proves vane right! flint’s love for silver and thomas prevents flint from killing silver or abandoning thomas to keep on fighting, so even tho flint doesn’t die, his struggle does. vane would never have been caught up in some shit like that. he would never let himself be weakened by love. he lets himself be hanged bc this is his struggle, and it is to the war that he’s pledged himself to beyond anything. its interesting bc the only person of similar conviction, the only person who would never EVER betray the war, not for a beloved’s life, not for the men’s, not for their own, is madi. madi is probably the only other person on the show who would have or could have done what vane did. and this is the interesting part bc while flint’s struggle is WEAKENED by his love for silver and thomas madi’s struggle is STRENGTHENED by her love for her people. vane and madi’s dynamic would have been FASCINATING bc this is absolutely the first time it would ever have occurred to vane that love doesnt have to be a crack in the armor! that principles forged in blood and violence can be just as strong or stronger if forged instead in a fiercely loving community!

and those unbreakable principles that unstoppable campaign for freedom whether based in violence or based in love is WHY both vane and madi have the reputations they do. it’s why flint says about madi that “There isn't a man or woman in Nassau who'd argue that she isn't the best of them all." it’s why billy says that “By stirring resentment, finding sympathetic ears, reminding them that Charles Vane was once the best of them-- still is the best of them.”

anyways. thesis statement of this is that flint is similar to vane and flint is similar to madi and vane is similar to madi and the major differences btwn them is the role that love plays in their lives and their struggles. to charles vane keep thotting it up in heaven king

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woozi · 3 years

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the thirst tweets yza 😭😭😭 i cannot. as much as fun this was, we were so close to getting jaebs with cats <//3

headlocking sk 😭😭 DJJDSKSK i would stand there like wonu clapping in the soop, for you <3. it's hindi ( actually it's my 2nd language but i speak in it the most w ppl outside of family djdjdjk ) my mother tongue is almost dwording djdjdkdk </3 i think im last gen who still speaks it, kids these days only know hindi or english.

ALSO!!! the footwork in senses choreo???? i liked it sm <3 yugyeom makes it look so easy to move like that?!?

same jdjdkddk godddd sometimes it takes a month to complete a drama which i like and started on my own will and sometimes it only takes 3 days. it doesn't matter how much i love something if i won't watch it, then I won't watch or consume it at all 💀.

ohhh, i've known jamie as an after school club mc first and singer second. like there was this time i was suddenly obsessed w eric nam's before we begin album i think around that time i first listened to one or two songs of jamie ( it was all spotify's doing jddjks) but then i forgot abt both and went back to listening to my regular ones. honestly i feel like i've gotten to know and appreciate jype artists ( those i know ) more, only after they've changed agencies it could just be me or my timing tho djdjdjh. have you listened to hanbin's solo album? honestly it's been no.1 album from 1st half of 2021 for me. i was not even looking forward to it or even knew djdjsk but i'm so glad i did i really like the songs & lyrics.

almost whatever jackson has released after mirrors has been to my taste leaving few bsides here and there. i love lmly <3 idk why for some reason i tend to mix pretty please and lmly up a lot djdjsk maybe it's bc of white tee and jeans. both mvs concept and songs are fantastic but if i have to pick one w/ mv & only considering the song, i do love lmly a little bit more then pretty please. wbu? <3

mark kept saying ' when we go back ' during the live so i got more confused each time, went on twt and got to know djdjdk. twt list of both svt & got7 of update accounts is like my newspaper, in free time i open it to see what is going on, sometimes jdjddk.

and of course i know abt woozi's cover <3 i've listened to it a lot jdjdksk he's so <//3

i could listen to his voice all day.

there is one cover of 10 cm hoshi dropped last year i like it sm <3 it made me so happy!!, around that i was obsessed with some of 10 cm's songs. help is one of my most favorite.

i really really wish for dokyeom to cover more day6 songs or just any songs </3 would really appreciate one from mr. joshu_acoustic too 😿.

did you see the way dokyeom woke up with a smile on his face in 5th in the sopp ep <//3 he's so precious 😭 (i'll try to link next time idk links go through asks tho djjddj sometimes tumblr eats it up). i don't even know what a smile is for first 2 hours after i've woken up. also i think i like this (sk coming and karaoke one - 5th) ep a lil more bc of that half minute of singer cheol it served us. i need him to sing more omg <//3

the soop song tho it's so sweet 😭💕. i love love how they brainstorm and make songs it's such an interesting process. i love what going seventeen is now but i miss watching the song making & recording process (even rho they do show it in inse after cb but jdjdks). the one where they made gose song, recorded it and made choreo/mv i love. it's still remains as one of my most favorite ep. they compose & write songs so smoothly & make it look so effortless <3

thank you for letting me ramble abt silly little things and responding to them, yza <3 love hanging out w/ you. i hope you're also having fun djjddj (i'll try to keep these short fr 😭 djdkdk i feel a bit bad for making you read so much nonsense :3)

take care of yourself, yza <3 sending good week wishes. - 🪂🪂🪂

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE JAEBEOM READ THIRST TWEETS BEFORE MY VERY EYES WHICH ALTERNATE AU IS THIS 😭

also mood tbh we could've gotten something like jacks' puppy vid </3

LIKE WONU CLAPPING FJKDJKFDJFD in true infj fashion <3 wait naurr that's so sad </3 do they not teach it in schools?

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDD house king show us ur fancy moves <3 as a fellow dancer i am throwing him my shoe rn <3 also i literally have never seen smth like this in kpop how did people fucking sleep on this icb it..

I FULLY RELATE HELLO????????????????? what dramas have u been watching? and which genres are u into? <3 i also just finished vincenzo today it was so good 😭 took me like.. a week, i think (?), though bc svt has SO MUCH content and i dont like being behind on svt shit esp bc i also run an update blog lmaooo 😭

WAIT I FORGOT SHE ALSO DID EMCEEING 😭 she's such a fun person </3 AND ERIC NAM FDKJDFJK i have one-sided beef w him lmao when he was still new to the scene he would reply to everyone's @s but he never replied to me so i felt v .. </3 (also this is what.. 13 year old me speaking so this def does not reflect how i feel abt him now JKJKFJKDFF) i also get that </3 i feel like jype doesn't manage them well (i dont know shit behind the scenes and shit abt the industry in-depth but u know... it Kind Of Shows esp w how the artists themselves speak abt the agency lol). and i have not!! i am truly a svtpoppie 😭 i will though bc u recommended it to me <3 i also have been seeing him frequently on tiktok lol, ALSO BC OF LEE HI!!

honestly i haven't been keeping up w his albums anymore just the title tracks so i cant say much 😭 i also def prefer lmly over pretty please i was actually obsessed w it for a while!! i love jackson's vision so much though, the cinematography is EVERYTHING

literally reading abt what our boys have been up to like reading the morning paper KJDSFKJDSJKSJKD

V GOOD FOR U TO HAVE COME ACROSS THE COVER... I JUST DISCOVERED IT BY ACCIDENT 😭 also i have to agree although i definitely do not want to admit that i am more than willing to listen to some man sing to me all day 😭😭😭😭😭 jihoon's voice is just... different to me for some reason. i have a hard time picking between him & seokmin tbh </3 hbu, who's ur fave svt vocalist?

ALSO YES THAT WAS SO CUTE OF HIM!! AND V ON BRAND TOO </3 the way u listen to 10cm..... im giving u an award rn <3 im guessing you listen to k-indie too?

DK THOUGH... I'M VERY MUCH WILLING TO ADMIT THAT I'D LISTEN TO HIM ALL DAY.... something about him... AND NOT THE JOSHU_ACOUSTIC FJDJFDJKFD 😭😭😭 i hate his username so much- why... WHY...

I DID!!!!!!!!! and i was so surprised too bc.. who wakes up smiling?????? what'd he dream of???????????? he's such a happy person i cant imagine what thats like 😭 the first thing i do when i wake up is make the >:| face JFJKFDKJFD also oh my god i just read that you're experiencing the same thing 😭😭 bestie trait!! KJJKFDKJFD ALSO YOU COULDN'T BE MORE RIGHT?????????? im always campaigning for vocalist coups im SOOO glad u feel the same way <3 his voice is just so comforting to me </3 idk i just really like his timbre

and v true omg i'm always fascinated to see how they actually work all this out!! the bts recording/choreo making vids are also my favorite gfkjdfkjdfj HOW ARE WE SO SIMILAR WE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME PERSON 😭also jihoon in that gose behind vid........... in universe factory............... i still think about that Look from time to time... 😭this is also why i respect the boys sm tbh. everyone in the industry undeniably works so hard but to actually get this much creative freedom and to basically lead the group and their direction music and performance-wise is so insane to me... no wonder jihoon's always in his studio. i couldnt be happier that they get to live off of doing what they like im also so so proud of them they must work so hard <3 esp w all the content they're giving us.. icb it's always like this in caratland im so used to being an ahgase that gets like.... 1 cb a year😭

AND NOOO OMG DON'T BE SORRY I REALLY LOOOVE GETTING UR MESSAGES </3 and i love how lengthy they are makes me feel like ur just not making small talk (i hate small talk sm 😭) and that you're actually interested <3 i genuinely love bonding w u through these little asks i can never thank u enough for sending them <3 i hope ur having a lovely week as well!! u can always talk to me even if it's not kpop related and u just want to talk abt life or when u need some cheering up <3

#🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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luobingmeis · 4 years

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Pls give us the AtLA rant, I have a mighty need!

askjskjsdkjdskj i copy and pasted my rant from last night bc imo the raw energy of “i am genuinely shocked and angry (in a good way)” is something i cannot recreate right now

so here is the rant i went on in my groupchat + the secret side conversation i had in DMs bc, in my 3 person gc, 2 of us are watching it for the first time and i already knew some stuff going in so i didn’t want to spoil

it’s all under the cut bc it’s long as fuck (like almost 2k words if not more)

but basically i go into my own type of avatar-state while talking abt zuko!!!!

(I HAVEN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET, PLEASE NO SPOILERS)

groupchat:

but i just finished book 2 and it took a completely different turn from what i thought it was going to like i am actually in shock and have officially reached my point of "zuko what the actual fuck" because the choice to do good was right there after everything he and iroh went through and after all that he saw and letting aang go multiple times and he was starting to be happy in this new life and saw that he and iroh could be free and he still went back to azula for his pride and honor, turning against aang and katara after he and katara could have finally reached a moment of understanding

but like what the fuck i am more mad at s2 zuko than i was at s1 zuko bc, in season 1, the avatar and his honor was the only thing he thought about, but in s2, he met people who had their lives ruined by the fire nation!! and he worked with them!!!! iroh was showing him what it was like to live completely free, doing what he wants!!!! and he was starting to understand!!!!! but im so pissed and so fucking shocked bc, this entire fucking time, i was like "oh yeah the end of s2 is going to be when zuko joins, right? bc i mean book 3 is fire, so zuko has to teach him fire bending" but no, he willingly chose to keep pursuing the avatar after fucking everything he has seen, after knowing how people were affected by the fire nation, after everything iroh did for him

and he knows what he did!! he knows!!!!! he told azula that he betrayed iroh!!!!!!! he fucking knows

when iroh showed up to fight both him and azula, i was fucking losing it bc iroh's love has been so unconditional for zuko, he supported zuko through everything and even helped him try to capture the avatar at times, but that was the final straw

zuko willingly walked into world domination. he doesn't even fucking trust azula! he never has! but she brought up his pride and honor, and she's powerful as all hell, and he sided with her! after everything!

i really thought he was learning that his quest for the avatar was fruitless! it's not going to bring him happiness! his life in the fire nation will never return to normal

aang has saved his life so many god damn times, him and katara were reaching a point of understanding! they fucking talked about how the fire nation took both of their mothers

and i'm so floored bc this was all willing

when zuko was exiled, he had no choice! it was either find the avatar or have no home. but he was finding a home! he finally seemed so happy with iroh! it really seemed like iroh's teachings were getting through to him! that he was learning what he really wanted (freedom)! but he still went back to the fire nation except this time he chose to. he looked at the people he was starting to understand, at the man who has been a better father than ozai ever could, and willingly chose to turn away for the sake of pillaging and conquering and "honor" in a family that doesn't care about him

at first, i was like "this has to be a trick, right? he's fighting them now so that he can backstab azula later, right?"

but when katara said to him "i thought you changed!" and he said "i have" i was fucking besides myself

im so angry but im also fucking exhilirated bc this i did not expect

i would've put so much money on there being a meaningful moment of zuko stepping up alongside aang

like, i was so sure this would happen

i was convinced

but holy shit

and fucking!!! zuko knows what iroh went through at ba sing se with the loss of his son (and probably the realization that what the fire nation was doing was fucked up) and zuko still turned against iroh

after everything iroh did for him! iroh was the only person who stood by zuko's side during everything. he pleaded zuko's case over and over, he seeked out the gaang bc he needed their help and he was so sure that zuko would make the right decision!!! he saw zuko let the avatar go before, but when zuko was faced w/ azula's assistance and the avatar right there, he just went back to his old ways except worse bc this is willing

and like

am i discounting the manipulations of azula and ozai? no!!!

that definitely had a hand in it, bc azula has been dangling honor and ozai's love in front of zuko the entire time

but i really thought that the end of s2 would be when zuko sees past all of that

except he turned back to the family that doesn't even love him, betraying the only person who truly cared for him and loved him unconditionally and wanted the best for him, and now he has a direct hand in the collapse of ba sing se and world domination

like okay let it be known that this is some of the best writing ive seen and im fucking obsessed and im living for this and it's so fucking good so my anger is fueled by excitement and shock

and also i fucking love negative character development

like. i love zuko. and literally i think that's part of this too bc i was so sure that he was going to make the right decision

and instead i had to face the dawning realization that he wasn't

and now he and azula are teaming up to end the earth kingdom

like i thought i knew where this was gonna go and now i'm genuinely lost (in a good way)

and like i haven't even touched upon aang's chakra being locked bc he went back to katara

(also don't even get me started on the painful irony of iroh telling aang that sometimes it's better to choose love and friendship over power)

(like really don't get me started because i'm about to combust)

after everything iroh did for zuko!!!

after the gaang has saved his life!!!!!!!

and the best thing is, it was shocking but still not out of character

that's the beautiful thing

this was always an option for zuko

it's the point of the crossroads!!! you can go either way!!!!!!!

i just thought he was gonna go...................... the other way

and like literally the fact that he sided with azula after obviously not liking her basically his entire life (or at least his adolescence) is so fucking telling for how he made this decision bc. unless there's some behind the scenes stuff, he saw the avatar and his pride and his honor so clearly, and he saw how powerful azula was becoming, and decided that he would still take it even in the face of azula's manipulations and violence

if that makes sense

if you can't tell, i'm kinda reeling right now

like, apparently zuko wants his honor/power so badly that he'll side with azula!!!

after they spent an entire season fighting her

but also....... azula finally gave him that option of working together. before, it was always azula vs. zuko

now, though, azula was offering a world dominating olive branch

so now like im thinking....... what if that happened earlier? would zuko always have turned? or is it just because everything he ever wanted was so close to him?

and it's wonderful bc it's still so in-character. like, even siding with azula, it's not bc he suddenly cares for his sister or whatever, but it's because he chose honor/pride/the fire nation over freedom/giving up what he always wanted. i don't think he was choosing azula, he was choosing his pre-written destiny over making his own

god is any of this making sense i am literally so fucking shocked

i literally need like 3 episodes solely on iroh at this point bc you know what probably fucking sucks??? losing his first son to the war in ba sing se, and then losing his nephew (who he saw as another son) to starting war in ba sing se

like? that has to feel like a fucking slap in the face ten times over

especially bc iroh left the fire nation with zuko (and probably for zuko), most likely giving up his full title there

and like? the fighting sequences are so cool but it was so fucking heartbreaking to hear iroh tell aang "you go on ahead! i will hold off both of them!" because like. iroh can't wait any longer! he thinks (and knows) that zuko is making the wrong choice, but he can't wait any longer! he can't stand by while zuko dominates an entire city and say "oh, he's really complicated, he's going through something"! because zuko did go through it and he came out of it and he still made that choice! iroh probably feels like all his patience, all his efforts, all his teachings and love, went to fucking waste! because it didn't get him anywhere!

like, iroh probably still loves zuko but he probably feels so fucking betrayed and hurt and disappointed because, after seeing zuko let the avatar go before and seeming so happy, he probably thought that zuko was changing for the better! and now, he has to fight his niece AND his nephew! this no longer is zuko insulting some other general or his crew that iroh can fix by explaining what happened w/ ozai and how zuko is very conflicted! this is a situation that zuko willingly walked in, even after hearing and knowing all of iroh's teachings!

anyways! poetic cinema

like also pls dont think im ignoring everything else in the episode, like aang's chakra being locked was fucking wild and that entire episode was so good, with the fight sequences and everything abt azula, and toph’s metal bending, just forgive me bc im a little uhhhhh distracted by a twist that i genuinely did not expect

i feel bad for how focused i am right now on zuko but also how can i not be bc that feels so connected to literally everything else

also tho on a brighter note, true serotonin was when appa finally returned :')

it's so wonderful that appa broke out by himself. he did it all on his own! no one else was there. at all :)

(im kidding that was actually a very important moment in zuko's character)

(or at least i thought it was going to be)

(well actually it still is, but it's come to the question of "you can always say what you're going to do in a situation, but what happens when you're actually faced with it?”)

DMs:

i know that zuko gets redeemed, right? like i know, in the end, they will all team up

but the fact that it didn't happen now

holy shit

like.......... a whiiiiiiile ago on tumblr, i saw a post that was like "zuko has a great redemption but he needed to work for it bc he did awful things" and like? tbh yeah i got that s1 zuko was the antag and he did shitty things but like...................... this feels so much more poignant

like zuko literally has a direct hand now in the collapse of the earth kingdom

literally not to be dramatic but this is like. taz-reveal levels of shocked right now.

i thought i knew the zuko arc

bc i know he gets redeemed!!

so, after watching this season, i was thinking "oh okay it's gonna be this season! makes sense!"

but.... deep down

deep down..............

a part of me was kinda like "so is season 1 zuko....... it? is that the end of his antagonisms? is season 2 meant to be his redemption? i dig it, but i thought it would be more...................... dramatic"

well!

got what i wished for!

and i am in the best kinds of hell

like i almost feel bad bc so much other stuff happened in the finale (like, for example, aang's chakra being locked, which i screamed at, it was so good) but like. i genuinely did not expect this.

like. holy fuck.

like, now i really understand why people say that zuko needed to really work for his redemption bc he and azula are tag teaming the end of the earth kingdom

#answered #jordie watches atla #Anonymous

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gotatext · 4 years

Text

hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !! slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664. a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides. occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2 - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her. like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

#radintro #plot w me bitches #im fun n love quarantine sadness

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crystu-cii · 4 years

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Oh dear that sounds like it must suck jdnd oms XDD I personally am not a fan of taking art classes in school bc I suffer in most school environments for creative things like art- I just prefer to keep drawing as an at home thing, I gave art classes many a second chance but they were so boring and technical and always had such a hard-coded path so nahh, so unexciting and unfulfilling.

XDD Well you could explain it again, it's a very good reason--

Hmmmb buzz your head, I did /j (I actually did it tho XD) I mean.. I personally recommend trying out a short haircut tho (as a person who has tried many short hairstyles-- pixie cuts w/shaved sides + back are the superior haircut XD I'm actually growing my hair out from shaving it all off tho- I havent had long hair since I was like, 8, and I hope I like it this time around cause I like the idea of it-) but anyways short hair is super easy to style and worth trying even though hair takes a while to grow out-- and alsoo it's easier to wear a wig over short hair XD

YESS I stim a lot when I get excited XDD so much moving around and pacing-- (points to when I initially became friends with you--)

XDD cool, I've been adopted by someone! ..again! XD

Unrelated but I'm playing Minecraft and got reminded of how no one ever wants to play games with me ;w; none of my siblings care for Minecraft so I'm always playing alone-

SAMEEE- i dont really wanna pursue art as a career or anything- i just draw for absolute fun ! and awhh well im slightly glad i didnt choose art class as my elective then xD

and oo i guess your right- i have the feeling i can actually convince my mom cause like- i havent asked for a gift for months- the last time i bought something- it was persona 4 golden when it went on steam- which was like jUNE-July xDD but man- if i ask her she better not go all like- "okay but THATS YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT-" XDDD so maybe ill wait or see what will happen

and man- back at march when quarantine started- i knew this was the absolute oppurtunity to have short hair- i dreamed of having hair short to where it reaches my chin or neck- but my mom (THE CLASSIC ASIAN- /hj) is all like "no- you will look ugly-" HAHA- okay she didnt say "ugly" she just kept saying "you wont look good with short hair" but I AM JUST H U R T MAN-

but when i have FULL FREEDOM (possibly when i become an adult- I DONT EVEN WANNA GROW UP THO NOOOO-) i wanna cut my hairrr short at LEAST once- cause yolo- right? xD i jus wanna experience short hair mOoOOOMMMm whYYyYY

and oo! im not an expert with hairstyles or anything but i searched that style up and man that looks good! i dont expect/want to have hair too short though- for me im feminine as fuuuuuu xD (and when i say i wanna crossdress- i will mostly be a femboy ;v; 💞)

and HECK YEAHH STIM SQUADD- whenever i get so excited my heart races so fast and i just cant stay still- and im so addicted to the feeling that i wanna feel it everytime- thank gosh its so easy to do that- i can just look back at posts where i recieved love and affection as well as look at posts of my OTP and BOOM- ID BE SCREAMING- XDD and when i became friends with you too is one of them like AAAA- i also ramble to larie and tree everything i love- and today i actually rambled to them about you! i hope that doesnt sound creepy or weird- i just ramble to them over E V E R Y T H ING that happens to me XDD 💞❤️❤💞❤❤️

AND HOLY CRAP- YOU PLAY MINECRAFT-- ok- ok o k- no n o im not falling for this again- every single time i meet someone who says they play minecraft- EVERY SINGLE PERSON I MEET- THEY HAVE BEDROCK while I ON THE OTHER HAND have JAVA LIKE WKHTOWJFOAJ no /nm xD - im not falling for it again- /J XDD tell me if you have bedrock or java- i wont get mad if you have bedrock but ill be so happy if you have java xD

#the rambles of crystu #i wrote this when i was coming back from being on a ferris wheel and WOOOO it was fun

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imyoursugarbunny · 4 years

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All the yandere asks, haha, suck it, nerd (and tag possessive-prey when you do it bby)

❤️ - How many people have you fallen in love with?

Hmmm let's see... Six, I think? I get crushes really easy but love is different.

🧡 - Are you REALLY willing to kill somebody for love or is it just an exxageration?

Hmmm not for love, but I definitely almost killed some people who were hurting someone I cared about and only was stopped bc they weren't within walking distance lmao. I blacked out in a rage and everything.

💛 - Are you a real yandere or is it just for aesthetics?

Hmmm depends on your definition of yandere. I'm not the kill for my love kind but I am definitely obsessed with being around my loved ones and my emotions can get really chaotic.

💚 - How far would you go to change for your beloved?

Hmmm idk. I'd definitely do anything I could to make a relationship work and I definitely want to be healthy in my relationships, but I do not like being tied down and having to hide parts of myself from people so I have no interest in putting on airs or saying things I don't mean. I also do not like being told what to do so if someone demanded too much from me than I wanted to give I'd definitely put up a fight.

💙 - What is your favourite video game?

Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door!! 😍

💜 - Ever think about getting a seifuku? If so, what colour?

Not that I'd look good in one but something pale pink or purple or space themed! Or like cotton candy!

🖤 - Are you more of a 🌸Pastel🌸 yandere or a 🕷Dark🕷 yandere?

Pastel for lovey stuff, Dark for idk when my mood gets dangerous.

💔 - How have you dealt with heartbreak?

Hmmm no idea. Usually i cry a LOT and get super depressed and kind of just...freak out around ppl all the time. There was one person that I very much became suicidal afterwards, tho I was luckily in a good place at the time so i coped pretty well. No idea how I got over that person tbh. But like we stayed friends for a long time after so that was good.

❣️- Can people truly be forgiven for being around your beloved, even if they don’t interact at all with them?

Yeah. LMAO I love the idea of keeping my beloved locked up and completely dependent on me but I also value ppl's freedom and joy so like. Also that'd trigger the HELL out of him so. It's literally just a fun idea I think about from time to time.

💕 - Are you in a relationship?

Yes!!!! I am in a relationship with the best man in the world!!! He is the perfect balance of stinky and sweet nwn!!! We have been dating for pretty much a year now! Our anniversary is June 8th~ 😍😍😍

💞 - Do you have a crush?

I do!!! I have more than one!! My Main Crush is called Dessert. 😜 The others aren't things I really wanna act on er well one of them is but they're like. Not a good option lmao bc it'd be REALLY BAD if something happened bc they are in multiple positions of social authority over me. e___e I just like the idea of giving them flowers lmao. They're called Wendi. (It's a full term but i dont want it showing up in the tag bc they might see it even tho they're like never on tumblr.)

💓 - What does your ideal senpai look like(if you aren’t in a relationship)?

LOOK LIKE? Hm this is hard bc I'm really just. OK. Tall, big frame (like fat or stocky, at least), big squeezing arms, dark hair, facial hair, and that's pretty much it. Like that's like my ideal aesthetic that I'm drawn to. 😗

💗 - Fave piece if weaponry?

Knives are a classic but. >:) I prefer messiness over precision. I ain't interested in drawing it out. Any kind of bludgeoning weapon whether it be a mace or just a bat with nails hammered into it is my weapon of choice.

💖 - What colour best describes your mood around your beloved?

Hmmm depends! Gentle, soothing green, yellow, pale cream, muted grey, royal blue. =w= All of these will collapse into pink if I'm soft.

💘 - Favourite yandere character?

Ren Yamai from Komi-san Has a Social Disorder! (i think thats the title.) Here are some highlights:

💝 - What gifts does your senpai like the most/ do you like the most?

Hmmm idk I haven't been able to buy presents for anyone lately and I don't like getting things for ppl they haven't mentioned they want first, either, so it depends on what they like. Sweet things! Stuffies and shit like that. Enamel pins and anime figures and minifigs. Vocaloid merch. Paint. Stickers and pens and journals.

🏳️‍🌈 - are you an LGBT+ yandere?

As for me I like shit that's cute. I like bug plushes a lot. I have some beetles and there's a large isopod plush i have wanted for YEARS. Also I collect furbys and interestingly shaped bottles and Sanrio and San-X plushes. I'm not too picky tbh.

I'm aro-spec and ace and nonbinary baybee!!

#ask meme #lemonade lyric #possessive-prey

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meduise · 4 years

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Whats some of ur fav dino, dino/hibari hcs?

finally i could reply to this ask!! which, anon, i still thank you for bc its the best thing i could ever be asked to talk about ww

reading will likely take some time, but i hope you and whoever else reads this post will share some hcs or at least find them nice ad interesting enough! and of course, i’ll be happy to answer more asks about it!! like the hibari-only post, i may come back to this one and update it over time

general warning for death mentions and spoilers from the novel “haneuma stampede”!!

hopefully this post wont be hidden from the tag search

dino headcanons

until i read about haneuma stampede, i pretty much always headcanoned dino’s hometown being naples, and this because i have neapolitan origins myself www in the light novel we get to know that dino’s hometown is a port city facing the adriatic sea (east) hence the opposite coast to naples, since this town faces the tyrrhenian sea (west). because of this piece of information, tho, i started thinking dino could be from bari, apulia’s capital city

being that a self projection, im still attached to that hc, so to keep at least a part of it i gave dino neapolitan grandparents LOL i mean, it’s not unlikely anyway

this is a recent hc but dino has a huge crush on is a big fan of immanuel casto, a gay italian singer whose most songs are explicit or suggestive and provocative

i think we all can agree that romario is like a second father to dino, right? their bond gets even stronger after cavallone nono’s death ;; romario will occasionally drop his habit to call dino “boss” and call him with his first name instead. dino will remind romario quite often how important he is to him beyond his role as his right-hand man

What Do You Mean Dino’s Tattoos Magically Appeared On His Body When He Was Deemed The Worthy Successor,,, i (falls on my knees) hc’ed that getting them done took A LOT and hurt A LOT and he yelled A LOT to the tattoo artist to stop inking and to his family that he didnt want to belong to that world,,,, im sorry dino

his tattoo and his duty as a boss in general dont give him much freedom (or should i say they dont give him freedom at all) so among the other hcs of situations where he has to cover his left arm, i have this one where dino cant but go to the beach when its empty and/or at night so that no one can see him but his men

the years may pass but he will still blame himself for his father’s death. and i mean. its pretty much true that it was his fault orz thanks light novel for giving me depress

onto the personality-wise hcs,, i talked about hibari’s enneagram type so i cant not do that for dino too. dino is 2w1, which gets called the servant. starting with the basic type: depending on the level of health, the two (”the helper”) ranges from being the most genuinely caring and helpful type to other people to being the type who gives expecting to be given something back to being the type who manipulates people into caring about them. i dont believe dino has fallen or will ever fall into the very unhealthy pit but he does get on the level where he thinks his generosity is the only thing that tie people to him and his people-pleasing attitude starts getting suffocating. he can be quite possessive, too. in a few words, type one is a very principled type, who fears being defective, bad and corrupt. therefore i assigned dino the one wing to kinda enhance the following paradox: being what he hates the most, aka part of a rotten system such as the mafia one. and with a role as a boss, to it. dino as a teenager never wanted to succeed to his father, and even now he wishes he didnt belong to that world but he loves his family, and even tho according to the moral he deserves to go to jail together with his men, he is self-admittedly too much of a coward to do that (theres so much more to add to this but if i do it will get REALLY long. there’s going to be another little enneagram talk in the d18 hcs anyway, lol)

_____________________________________________________________

dinohiba headcanons

these bitches gay good for them, good for them

advanced apologizes for being an angst fucker but for years my #1 headcanon has been a quite twisted one about dino and hibari not allowing themselves die by the hand of someone who isn’t each other’s. its a sort of oath. they feel like if one of them dies it will be unforgivable, and this will lead them to ultimately kill each other. in their mind, “it’s either both or none of them”, both know that they won’t be able to bear with the other being gone forever (yes, hibari too) and the only solution they find is leaving the world together, the same way they fought on it and against it together. the scenario i thought for this is a duel inside the reverse globe of needles. their last fight in hibari’s ultimate technique so that it’s literally just a world made of the two of them lol lol lol

tbh dino didnt like hibari at first, and with hibari being hibari it takes them long to warm up to each other. for long i mean some years w (years of anger, fights, hardship, trauma reveal, and so on)

their first bonding moment happens when hibari finds out about fon (yeah, all the stuff i talked about in my hibari hc post to which i have to add: i made my own timeline where the arcobaleno arc happens about 2 years later than shown in canon). dino is there to comfort him. dino hugs hibari and he lets him do. hibari cries. HIBARI CRIES for the third (3rd) time in his life there

i have this kinda specific hc of dino overhearing hibari sing hitoribocchi no sadame and getting sad about its lyrics

for obvious reasons even when they start dating they’re forced to spend most of the time away from each other but they make sure to be together at least on every anniversary

i love the established relationship trope so much therefore 80% of the times i think and write about them hibari is in his 30s and these two have been married for like 7 years

i’ll get to the marriage proposal and ceremony another time hopefully in a fic too but of course romario and fon are chosen for their best men

idk if people consider ship playlists and such as hcs, but i associate savages by kerli and someone to stay by vancouver sleep clinic to them ;;

about someone to stay: the line will you fix me up? will you show me hope? is hibari -> dino, and the line can you keep me close? can you love me most? is dino -> hibari

and finally, to go back to the topic of enneagram: their compatibility according to their types. on the institute’s official site theres already a good description, which makes me cry everytime i go back to it because it literally starts with “These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first”. part of this is given by the fact that unhealthy twos get the unhealthy traits of eights and healthy eights get the healthy traits of twos. i made a scheme for it:

i admit that i have no proof that the comparison is legit for the wings too, but finding out the stress/growth correlation even for them was very validating and satisfying, lol

some headcanons are missing from this post bc i decided to post the most important and my fave ones (the fave ones are those asked for in the first place but i cant shut up ashdjsdhfdjsdhfg)

but either way OVERALL i really, really love imagining both dino and hibari overcoming their hardships, individually and together, becoming the better versions of themselves the more the years pass, bringing their best qualities to each other and learning to accept and appreciate their different points of view.

because of the way they are at first they... dont really start good, but with health and trust they make a powercouple tbh

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #hibari kyoya #dino cavallone #dinohiba #d18 #headcanons #khr headcanons #asks #anonymous #I LOOOOVED LOVED LOVED WRITING THIS POST DOWN #its so long that the keep reading appears right after the question #when i only put it right before the dino headcanons title #lmFAOOO #i just cant stop talking

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hella-free-space · 4 years

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Life update nobody asked for :)

Hoooo weeee... we're like 3 weeks into 2020 and i know the world is lookin r o u g h rn... but i just wanted to take some time to shout into this wonderful dark blue void we call tumblr for a sec

I put all of it under a readmore, but tl;dr is that i got time off of work this week and next week to write some more fishy articles for yall! Also i filed for divorce last nov, which should be finalized by may, and i am so SO excited for this year :)

2019 was a rly wild year... i think its the most personal growth ive experienced and i dont regret any part of it (even though some parts were genuinely terrifying or rly hard to go through).

I lived somewhat independently for most of it (i rly loved having a place to myself :3 even tho taking care of it and myself and all the kiddos was sometimes hard, it was wonderful to have so much freedom and independence).

I made lots of new friends :D

I filed for divorce! (this ones a big'un and by far the best! Itll be final in may hopefully). I had to say goodbye to the cats and the dog (i couldnt keep them and my ex was the one who brought them home originally. He moved to a place with a backyard and more people to help take care of them. It was definitely in their best interest but I do still miss them♡).

I moved back in with my parents, but got to keep all of my other babies :3 the pumpkin patch sling im raising went thru their first molt (fingers crossed they continue to eat like a tank and grow up big n strong). My hamster is an old man now but the vet said hes lookin great for such an old man :) it makes my heart happy that he'll be around a while longer ♡

I got a raise at work! Ive had this job for over a year now and i like my coworkers. Bossman gives us days off when we ask and cooks everyone home made lunch when he comes in once a week :p

I decided to take time off of school to sort out my life and academic habits. Most of it has to do with anxiety (hence the counseling) and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Also figuring out what I really want to do... because i dont have to consider how my career will affect anyone but me now... so im switching to environmental science :) it doesnt pay as well as computer science, but im more passionate about it and even when i went thru a rly bad depressive episode last year and failed half my classes... i aced the heck out of my ES ones and enjoyed the material :)

I signed back up for counseling! Went to my first appointment last week and my therapist is super dope.

I wrote some freelance pieces. (Which i have been very very slow to finish recently... i hope to have some more turned in soon tho! I’m sending in my tiger barb care article today and I asked for some more days off at work to be able to work on freelance more! Ive only had 1 day off per week for the past few weeks @.@ but I had 3 days off this past week so no excuses!!)

I started new hobbies! I got a sewing machine for xmas (shout out to my mom, who is the dopest woman i know) and am excited to try some more challening projects :p i made some simple stuff, but i really wanna make plushies!

I finally found a dnd group and its SO MUCH FUN :3 ive only been to 2 sessions now but the dm is great and also patient about all my newbie questions :3 reddit has also been v helpful ^-^ I’ve also been having a ton of fun dndiying stuff for my character (like spell cards/stat cards) and making miniatures with sculpey (first time working with polymer clay, so thats been cool too) :3

---

Going into 2020 im really excited to travel this year. I’m going to denver next month!!! and possibly a cruise with friends at the end of the summer?? we’ll see :p I’m also excited to get more into my new hobbies (DND, sewing, miniature-making, etc) and getting back into to older hobbies (terrariums, scrapbooking, snail mail, etc). I’m trying to go back to school in the fall as well so fingers crossed my change-of-major gets approved >w<

all in all though, i’m hype for 2020 and i hope everyone has a good year too :)

#roni replies #not fish #life update nobody asked for

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sunsetsover · 5 years

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top 5 ee episodes & why?

fuck man i’ve been watching eastenders since i was a kid and there’s been soooo many iconic episodes and i cannot possibly remember them all so if you’re expecting a proper in depth answer to this i’m about to disappoint u but here it goes

in no particular order:

peggy’s suicide - literally peggy was and still is one of the biggest icons on not only on ee but on british tv in general and if it were possible i would have her running the vic until the end of time but unfortunately it’s not. like i wasn’t even watching ee when this ep aired but i watched it bc the fact that barbara windsor was coming back to reprise her roll as peggy and that peggy was going to die was genuine News in the uk and everyone and their mother tuned in to see peggy’s farewell and the fact that it was so well handled and her walking through the square reminiscing and that scene where she was in the vic and talking to mick and linda and the fact that they had pat come back to be there with her just like the entire thing was so so sad but poignant and yeah :-( i miss her :-(

hunter holding the vic at gun point - ok like obvious reasons aside the whole seige episode was so GOOD like i was so tense the entire time which is a hard thing to do!!! like i still can’t quite believe that ep was only half an hour it felt so much longer than that and yes i’m a lil biased bc ben is my fave and watching him slowly bleed to death was like hell (even tho i knew he lived) but i think even ppl who didn’t like ben Felt It. and there were just so many layers like you had the ben and callum stuff which overlapped into the callum and whitney stuff and then ofc the ben and louise and then ben and phil stuff when he come in and sonia trying to keep him alive and the hunter and mel stuff which was GOOD even tho idrc abt hunter lmao but the hunter/louise/bex stuff, the louise and lisa stuff and then those final few scenes where sonia managed to get ben breathing and then hunter shot keanu and then the police shooting hunter and sharon calling mel so she didn’t have to see and then that final ‘mummy’s got you’ scene……… academy award

bradley’s death - THIS SHIT TRAUMATIZED ME OK i loved bradley sm and i was so upset when him and stacey broke up (even tho i get it now as an adult) and then u have him falling off the fucking vic roof calling out stacey’s name…….. the whole thing was just so intense in a way u don’t really see in anymore like the drama didn’t come from the fact that it was made dramatic by the script or the acting or the music or anything like that it was dramatic bc it was fucking horrifying between all the screaming and shouting and everyone’s reactions and just yh… they dont make em like that no more!!!

janine killing barry - i don’t have a reason for this other than the fact that barry rolling down that hill sticks so fucking vividly in my mind for some reason which is twice as weird bc i must have been so young when i saw it but the fact that i remember it must mean it was Iconic and that’s reason enough for me…….. plus janine is just That Bitch tbh i want her back

this year’s pride - perhaps a little basic of me but i can’t think of any other (personally) iconic episodes rn (all i can think of is characters/storylines lmao) but! it was a fucking good ep and i saw it right as i got back into ee again and i think the different povs and experiences and the characters being at different points in their sexuality journey was so Important like between bernie experiencing her first pride (as a teen!) with all of her family supporting her and going with her and her having a good time and having her Moment and then lesbian elder tina talking abt her experiences and her first pride and guiding and encouraging bernie and then the contrast of that vs everything that callum was dealing with and going through and him (as someone who is approaching their 30s) still being in the closet and the absolute heartbreak of seeing him be SO upset because he’s physically there at pride but he’s so far away from everyone around him and their joy and freedom like he was so horribly isolated from everyone except ben and the one person he did reach out to by admitting he slept with ben he thought got it and supported him only for stuart to turn around and batter ben and i know ppl weren’t happy w that and people didn’t like it and thought it was unnecessary and inappropriate and i 100% get why but i also get why they did it bc it was a such a shock and a strike contrast to what was going on outside and was meant to drive home that yeah pride is nice and all but this is what’s still happening u know so while it was horrible i think it was deliberately that way but that’s just my opinion. plus it was just nice to have a pride-dedicated ep and have all different ppl there representing like imo they did a pretty good job with it actually lookin like a pride event so. yh lmao.

there are probably soooooo many i’m overlooking but these are the first ones that came to mind and i’m a big believer in following ur gut so! yeah!

#eastenders #ty for asking!!!#anon #question

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absolutiions · 4 years

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´ ･ . ✶ ⧼ madchen amick, non binary, she & they / fucked my way to the top by lana del rey + eyes the color crimson and hands stained in crimson, too. victim of the underworld, you are not. you came, not to sit silent at his side as dutiful wives do, but to whisper in his ear. pouted lips smeared ruby stoke the flames of his darkest impulses and his deepest desires. you are the conqueror. you are the queen. and may god have mercy upon anyone who underestimates this : because you will not. ⧽ ━━ don’t look now, but that’s ATHENODORA. the TWO THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED & TWENTY TWO ( varying physical ) year old GIFTED VAMPIRE has been here in seattle for three minutes, and is considered a member of the VOLTURI. they’ve always been MACHIAVELLIAN & INDOMITABLE, but i guess this town just brings out the worst in people ; apparently, they’ve been way more INSOUCIANT & SUPERCILIOUS than usual. it wouldn’t surprise me if they knew what was going on. click HERE to check out her stats.

they told you that you were a nobody, so you became the QUEEN. ( now everybody knows your name )

SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse

born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece.

five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !

she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly.

same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic.

her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.

she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that.

he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.

she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.

their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters.

at first, he told her that it was fine.

after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.

two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.

he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.

sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.

but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!

over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.

she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.

stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously.

honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.

so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?

and then it goes to shit. as things do.

her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options.

she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.

until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life.

for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.

four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.

caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.

and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without.

SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.

became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly

didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs

didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up

not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess

kind of throws a spanner in the works

she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme

uses this time to harness her power and fuck

not always in that order

also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader

deserves to b the new aro

who needs powers?

not u, caius

go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-

( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )

she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end

she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU !

she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal

we love to see it

anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here

seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review

but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace

obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess

lucky for her!

that’s all i got

hehe

SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.

athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.

she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed.

over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.

like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives.

#equinox.intro #ath #( 𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐀 ) ━━━ * biography !

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