#even if you think you aren't creative most of us have at least some hobby where we make SOMETHING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gittetj · 1 month

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Ooooohh that's a fun ask game! Oh man would it be too much to ask about 5 characters? I'll try to make it short anyway

Could you do 1 for Nagata, 4 for Iida (listen. i know it's completely out of left field to ask this about iida. but we don't know anything about him. so can i at least have the courtesy to know what he likes or used to like OR IS THAT A SPOILER TOO??) 45 for Satsune, 46 for Himiko (mainly i'm curious about what makes her listen lol) and 51 for Yuka if you have the time?

.....actually would it be even mucher to ask for 50 about Higashio? He's hardly a "newer oc" but I have a sufficient argument. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE

Hey, I asked for questions, no need to worry about giving too many of them.

My mind has been very far away from my stories in the last couple weeks. Life kind of drags and I've run out of plants to dig up from my garden (my new coping mechanism, apparently), so thanks for giving me something more creative to focus on for a little while!

1. Nagata: What’s the lie your character says most often?

Hmm, hard to answer without spoilers. Nagata doesn't tell little lies much. She's earned her current position by being rigorous, hard working, and brutally honest anywhere she can get away with it. She doesn't like to lie, it's risky and potentially harmful, but sometimes she thinks it's necessary, and she is very good at lying, so she'd rather take that task on herself than entrust anyone else with it. In other words, I guess most of her lying is done to help or protect someone else.

4. Iida: What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Oh man this is hard. Often, the way I get to know my characters is to sort of interview them in my mind, or ask other characters about them if they don't want to talk to me (Iida is not chatty), and I think you could ask anyone about him and they would have no idea.

Iida has spent a Lot of time alone, so obviously he must have ways he likes to pass the time. I've been mentally glaring at him to make him speak up, but he only informs me he likes watching baseball. This is the best I can do, sorry

45. Satsune: What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

People commenting on her appearance. Mostly if it's meant in a positive way. She will resent you for calling her pretty or cute, but she won't care as much if you call her gross for emerging from the forest covered in mud and leaves like the cryptid she is.

46. Himiko: Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Big big talker. She often bulldozes over other people in conversations, interrupts them, dismisses the points they try to make, etc. She's pretty bad at picking up on social cues, but if someone starts crying or lashing out in a way where it's obvious something's wrong, she will shut up and focus on trying to understand the problem so she can help.

51. Yuka: What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Hmm, I haven't given her any, have I? The main speech quirk I keep in mind for her is that she laughs a lot.

I don't like to put pop culture references in the things I write, but if I did and if she was better at English, I really think Yuka would love Tumblr (Moblr?) She could recite all your favorite Tumblr memes for you.

50. Higashio: What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you personally don’t agree with?

Higashio is frustrating because I really like him and find him relatable in some aspects, but he's also so... old fashioned? Misinformed? Like, there's clearly things other people have knocked into his head so hard that he's internalized them and isn't even aware of it. He's the kind of person who'll tell someone who's struggling that they aren't trying hard enough, the kind who'll tell them to stop being lazy and get a job, who'll call them ridiculous for being upset about something he doesn't understand, EVEN when he genuinely feels bad for them and wants to help. My patience with stuff like that got used up a long time ago.

Weirdly specific character building questions

#the end of the world as you know it #nagata sayumi #iida #matsumura satsune #hasegawa himiko #tachibana yuka #higashio #ask meme

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fandomn00blr · 1 year

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sappy prompt for you - "a bowl of soup" and "heart eyes" for anders/fenris?

Auggghh...they are just the most sappiest, aren't they?! Thanks for this! I really enjoy any excuse to get these two arguing about food...because yes, that's what this is really about. Just the soup. That's all... ;)

(Oh, and FYI, this is set in my retro-modern-futurish y2k post-apocalyptic zombie Dark Sprawl AU, but all anyone really needs to know is that Link=Mage, Facility=Circle, and uhh, Justice is benevolent malware...yeah, that should clear everything up!)

"Awwww…” Anders fawns over the steaming bowl of soup Fenris has just placed in front of him on the island where he’s currently perched, looking absolutely ragged after another double shift at the clinic. “You cooked…for me?"

"It's soup. I just opened a can and put it in a bowl and microwaved it."

"That's three whole steps more than you're usually willing to take in order to feed yourself!" Anders exclaims. “I’m quite flattered.”

“Don’t be. You look like shit. It literally is the least I could do…”

Anders seems unfazed by this as he takes a big slurping spoonful of the soup. "Ow!” He spits it back into the bowl. “Fuck…too hot still…"

Fenris doesn’t even bother trying to stifle his chuckle. "Try blowing on it next time, maybe?"

"Thanks for the tip.” Anders smirks. “Not sure I fully trust it coming from someone who only eats seeds and berries and other random things gathered from the forest for every meal, though."

"I'll have you know that I can cook."

"Oh?"

"Yes…” Fenris eyes him suspiciously for a moment, then his face softens a little as he explains, “It used to be a hobby of mine. Back when I had half-way decent ingredients available to work with…"

"Back in Tevinter, you mean?"

Fenris nods. But doesn't say any more than that. Which Anders has learned through trial and much error to take as a sign that he's getting dangerously close to poking at something painful. He's trying to be better about not prying too much, though it's hard for him, and for Justice, not to demand to know more about what, or who, made him want to leave such a marvelous-sounding place where Links aren’t all just rounded up and institutionalized and there are apparently enough fresh ingredients available to inspire even Fenris to take up cooking. For fun!

"Well, you've just got to be a little more creative here in perpetually post-apocalyptic Kirkwall," he says, trying to veer around it without completely changing the subject of Fenris’ cooking skills.

"Creative?” Fenris snorts. “You mean like Merrill? Bio-engineering chickens and hacking fruit trees to grow and thrive where they've no business doing so?"

Anders grimaces. "I try not to think about all of that when she gifts me a basket of fresh produce or delicious jumbo eggs. But if you're so dead set against using her stuff, I'm sure there's plenty of ingredients to be scavenged from the pantries of these abandoned estates."

"Years past their expiration dates, I'm sure," Fenris scoffs.

"Oh, c’mon! Most of those dates were just made up to get people to keep buying more!”

"I don't know if that's entirely true…"

"Fine. Continue eating your boring birdseed, then, while I enjoy these supposedly 'expired' canned goods." Anders takes another, more cautious slurp of his soup and finds it to be less scalding, at least.

Fenris watches him swallow it down with a forced smile. "You're not exactly selling it."

"It's not…the worst soup I've ever tasted. The stuff at the Facility was always watered down and flavorless, like they thought we might somehow be able to channel our connectivity through salt or seasoning and escape via our taste buds. This at least tastes like…something…"

Fenris grabs a spoon from the silverware drawer and pulls the bowl of soup across the island to himself with a frustrated huff. He dips into the bowl and tastes it, frowning.

"Needs more acid…" he mutters as he turns and heads back into the pantry.

He returns with a bottle of some dark liquid with a fancy-looking label in Tevene and drizzles it over the top in an effortless spiral, then passes the bowl back to Anders.

"Try it now." He steps back, bracing himself against the sink, and Anders can't help but appreciate the expectant look in his eyes. He seems to have stumbled upon something here. A hidden passion maybe, and the fact that Fenris is willing to share it with him…well, best not get ahead of himself. It's just a bowl of soup, right?

"What is it?" Anders asks, trying to temper the unexpected flood of fondness he’s feeling with a bit of feigned skepticism and his usual sarcasm. “Arsenic? Cyanide? Deadly nightshade?”

"Balsamic vinegar…very well aged," Fenris snorts, exuding so much smugness at his own terrible culinary joke that Anders now fears he may have unwittingly unleashed a monster.

He mixes it into the soup and tries another spoonful.

"Better?" Fenris asks, looking downright impatient now for his opinion.

"It's good," Anders drawls. But he can’t seem to resist the opportunity to needle him a little. "I think you could balance it out with something creamy…got any powdered milk?"

Fenris makes a disgusted face. "Powdered milk?!" He throws his hands up in dismay. "Are you deranged?"

"Creative…not deranged." Anders laughs. Maybe he is deranged. Or perhaps it’s the exhaustion hitting him now, or the relief he feels here, in Fenris’ ridiculous mansion, of all the places he could’ve ended up tonight…but seeing Fenris, who is normally so measured and stoic about everything, react so dramatically to a bad recipe idea makes him finally just lose it.

“What is so funny, Link?” He hears Fenris catch himself saying it, and he hears the hesitation in the softness of it. He hears him try to sharpen it awkwardly just at the end, too, but it's too late. Anders already knows it’s become a sort of pet name to him.

"It’s just…” He won’t mention the slip up. Not yet. It’s a bit too new and precious to him still. But Fenris is watching him with such heavy expectation again, so surely the situation calls for some kind of teasing? “Fenris…” he breathes, trying to draw it out a little bit longer.

“What is it?”

“I guess...I just didn't realize..." Fenris leans a bit closer, his eyes growing even wider with anticipation. "I had no idea you were such a foodie!”

Anders grins cheekily. And he’s pretty sure Fenris knows exactly what he's doing judging by the annoyed face he makes. But spite is a heck of a motivator…

“If Merrill has any interest in raising goats and making cheese from their milk, I may be persuaded to change my stance on her methods,” he tells him.

Anders can't help looking at him now with all the affection he's been trying to keep in check. “I’ll…be sure to let her know."

😍<- Anders (ok, me), at the thought of having Fenris and Merrill collaborate on a rotating dinner party schedule...

#birthentine's prompts #dragon age #anders #fenris #fenders #dark sprawl #soup #heart eyes #my writing

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collectionoftulips · 2 years

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Kanthony + 41

I assume it's from this list? If so, I have created a little story thing for you with the prompt: “You did all of this for me?”

(If anyone else wants a little Kate and Anthony story from that list, just send me an ask)

I apologise for taking a bit of time to write this but I wanted it to at least be semi-decent. I hope there aren't too many typos and I just decided to post it to Ao3 here

I decided to go for a modern AU where Kate and Anthony are friends and Anthony decides to put in a little bit of effort for Kate's birthday.

There was absolutely no logical reason why he should be nervous.

It was fine.

It’d be fine.

He’d prepared. He’d done everything he had intended. He’d even gone so far as to have a conversation with Benedict of all people to ensure that he wasn’t completely thinking out of his arse.

Kate was hopefully going to love it.

Generally speaking, one of the things that he lo- appreciated the most about his best friend was that she was reasonable. Sure, she might seem particularly prone to call him out on his bullshit, but for some reason, Anthony didn’t quite mind. When his siblings outlined all the reasons he was an asshole, it was annoying. Somehow, when Kate did it, it felt like she saw him - not just the guy he wanted people to see, but the person he truly was underneath. And while he might be delusional, it felt like it was the same with her - they understood each other.

He’d tried to explain this to her once, but it hadn’t gone so well. Kate had ended up thinking he was calling her an asshole and not spoken to him for three days.

It had been torture.

Most of the time when Anthony tried to do something nice for Kate, it very expectedly turned into a disaster. It was like the universe was determined to make it as difficult for them as humanly possible to continue being friends. Kate’s little sister Edwina had once said that they were like oil and water, but Anthony imagined them more like flint and steel - useful, but could burn down a forest if they weren’t careful. It wasn’t a great analogy or whatever, but he had never done particularly well in English classes.

This time, he’d decided to go above and beyond for her birthday. This was for a few different reasons. First of all, he had recently realized that Kate hadn’t really had enough of that in her life, and she deserved something nice. Secondly, she had just been broken up with by that twat Tom Dorset. The man was undoubtedly a plague upon humanity but somehow Kate hadn’t seen that and for some reason decided to date him, even though she was clearly out of his league.

As far as Anthony was concerned, Kate and Tom were not even in the same galaxy.

Anthony shuddered. At least he would never have to say horrid things like ‘Kate and Tom’ again. A small smile crept across his lips. Small blessings, he supposed.

The third reason for this extravagant dinner he had planned was much more difficult to define. He’d decided to get a hobby and he had decided that cooking was it. It was going to be his new thing. Despite Benedict’s mocking to the contrary, it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he had overheard Kate comment to Sophie that she ‘absolutely loves a man who can cook’. That was completely irrelevant. Kate was just his guinea pig - someone who would willingly sit down to try his attempt at making sushi without fearing food poisoning, something which was a prominent concern among his siblings.

Besides, cooking was surprisingly creative. It was pretty extraordinary how one could have a range of disparate ingredients that on the whole seemed rather unimpressive and with some chopping, some heat and a few spices, it became something completely different. It was as close to magic as Anthony supposed human beings would ever come. Additionally, it got him out of his head and that was always welcome. Ever since he’d busted his knee and couldn’t quite go running the way he used to, well, this was a good substitute.

Birthdays were not just about birthday dinners. He’d also got a present for Kate this time. They usually didn’t bother with that kind of stuff - usually settling on buying the other drinks at the pub on their birthday - but… well, Kate had been bummed about the breakup and he’d wanted to do something nice. He hadn’t quite appreciated the way Benedict had grinned when he had told him - as if he knew something he didn’t. He’d just done what any sane person would do - make his sister Daphne come with him to find a dress that Kate might like and so what if he’d accidentally passed a jeweller once Daphne had left and impulse bought a bangle?

People got people gifts all the time. What was essentially a bracelet was fine. It didn’t mean anything. It had just looked a little bit reminiscent of a bangle Kate had lost once that had belonged to her mother. She’d cried for three days and it had been awful when they had searched all across the university campus and both of their flats several times to try to find it.

He was just trying to do something nice. There was nothing to be nervous about.

But that somehow didn’t stop the nerves from wreaking havoc in his stomach.

When Kate arrived promptly at 6pm as they had agreed, Anthony had just about finished the food and the bolognese sauce was puttering away on the stove. The garlic bread was in the oven and when the sound of his doorbell echoed into the kitchen, Anthony briefly wondered if he had opted for a too simple menu. But Kate loved Italian food for some reason and he’d seen this recipe on Saturday Kitchen Live that looked pretty cool… Either way, it was too late now.

As he passed the hallway mirror, he made sure that he hadn’t got any tomato stains on his white shirt.

It was fine.

When he opened the door, however, something in his stomach indicated that everything was something other than fine. He didn’t appreciate the explosion of emotions in his gut as Kate stood in his doorway, somehow managing to look absolutely captivating in just high waisted jeans and a crop top.

Crop tops, Anthony decided, was either the best or worst thing to have ever happen to fashion. Kate looked absolutely wonderful and they suited her very well, but the way it allowed him to get a fair glimpse of her skin and the way the fabric accentuated every glorious curve of her upper body, well, it made him nervous and feel a million different things he supposed he ought not.

"Ready for the pub?” Kate grinned, leaning against the door frame, her lovely curls cascading down over her shoulders.

Anthony felt a bit sheepish. "Well, I was thinking we could do something a little bit different for your birthday this year.”

The flash of disappointment on Kate’s face was quickly replaced by a gentle curiosity as she seemed to realize something a moment later. "Anthony, are you cooking?”

He tried not to read too much into her delighted tone.

Anthony nodded and the feeling in his chest seemed to swell tenfold as Kate excitedly pushed past him to get into the hallway she had been a million times.

Kate removed her high heels. “Is that garlic bread?” Not waiting for a reply she immediately marched into the kitchen and Anthony tried to resist the urge to go and hide in his bathroom as his desire for her to like what he had done was so overwhelming he thought he might faint.

Once he plucked up the courage to follow her, he could see her standing over the bolognese, having opened the lid to smell the sauce and Anthony noted that he had indeed remembered to light the candles on the table before opening the door.

The way Kate’s eyes met his as she leaned over the pasta sauce made every nerve in his body tingle, yet it was so delightful he could not look away.

"You opening a restaurant or something, Bridgerton?”

God, she was wonderful.

Tom was an undeserving toad, but how anyone in their right mind would ever dump Kate Sharma, Anthony would never understand. Just another reason why Tom Dorset was forever the worst.

Anthony grinned. "Maybe. But I just found this new recipe of a bolognese I’d wanted to try.”

He loved the way Kate’s eyes sparkled. "Fancy.”

Only then did she seem to catch the way he had set up the table and the candles he had placed in the middle. Kate froze for a moment and Anthony could not understand her surprise.

Had she not had anyone cook her dinner before? Sure, he’d made her food lots of times, but it was completely normal to make a bit of an effort with a birthday dinner.

"You really went all out,” Kate commented a while later, her voice so impossibly gentle that Anthony wished he understood what she was feeling.

Not sure what else to do, he shrugged. "Well, I had some free time.”

When Kate hugged him, he froze in surprise. The gentle scent of her perfume seemed to overwhelm his senses that and faint whiff of lilies it contained was somehow so impossibly Kate that Anthony was sure it was his favourite thing in the entire world. When he allowed himself to return the embrace and his arms wrapped around her, the nerves in his stomach settled and for a brief moment, everything felt absolutely perfect.

He tried not to feel disappointed when Kate eventually pulled away.

"This is wonderful,” Kate’s capacity to carry multitudes in her voice was remarkable.

His eyes lingered on hers for a moment, before he pulled out of the daze she seemed to draw him into. "You haven’t even seen the starter yet,” he replied, trying his best to sound carefree.

A delighted smirk appeared on Kate’s face. "You spoil me, Bridgerton.”

He thought he would give her the entire world if she wanted to.

Everything seemed to be going well. She had devoured her starter - bruschetta - and they had toasted the day of her birth and Anthony had to keep himself from noticing the way Kate’s eyes sparkled when surrounded by candlelight.

"Before the main, I just thought I’d er, give you your birthday present.” He hoped she would not notice the way his fingers fiddled with the napkin underneath the table.

It made no sense why it felt like he was about to jump off a cliff. Why he suddenly felt so exposed. It was just a few measly presents. It was her birthday.

He was truly losing his mind.

He looked away before he could take in her reaction, running into the next room to get the presents he had tried to wrap the night before. When he came back, he gave the box containing the dress first, careful not to look at her face too much. It felt dangerous somehow.

"I got this for you,” he tried his best to make his voice sound casual.

He wasn’t sure whether to sit back down or just stand there. Either option felt impossible so he just… froze. As she opened the box, anxiety overwhelmed him.

“If you don’t like it, I can-“

“Anthony, I love it.”

Her eyes roamed over the piece of fabric he’d got her. It was a pretty design and he had thought the hint of gold might complement her eyes nicely. Besides, Daphne had reassured him it was exactly the type of dress that was Kate’s style. Whatever that meant. She always looked great in anything.

He was about to sit back down when he remembered the smaller presenter that was currently burning a hole in his pocket. Feeling a blush creep across his face, he quickly shoved the small box in Kate’s face and hoped that she would not notice how utterly embarrassing he was.

“Oh and this, but you know, no big deal,” Anthony quickly focused on ensuring that his napkin was correctly placed in his lap when he sat back down.

When the silence seemed to stretch on a bit longer than he had anticipated, dread spread throughout his entire being. Shit. He’d fucked up. He’d just thought that- well, it clearly had been a rubbish idea.

“Look, if you hate it-“

He looked up and saw Kate’s eyes now glittering with unshed tears, a wealth of emotions glowing inside each millimetre of her irises.

His heart stopped.

Kate’s fingers carefully traced the curves and stones on the bangle gently, as if committing it to memory.

It seemed like a lifetime before she spoke.

“Anthony-“

He wished that she had said whatever she had intended to, but it seemed like he had rendered her speechless with his thoughtfulness. Of course she’d be upset of this poor imitation of her most treasured possession. He’d been absolutely thoughtless and he should have considered it more.

Kate gently placed the bangle next to her wine glass and Anthony was mounting a full apology to have at the ready as she approached him. He was going to explain and hope that she would not take offence-

Even though it was the second hug of the night, it still surprised him. This one felt different somehow. Kate’s arms seemed to wrap much more tightly around him and she lingered long enough for those million emotions he always felt around her to return.

“You did all of this for me?” Kate whispered into his shoulder and Anthony could not understand the disbelief in her voice.

“It’s your birthday and I thought that I-“

When she kissed him, Anthony felt his brain short-circuit and explode in a wonderful warmth that seemed to spread across his entire body in an instant. Her lips were so impossibly soft that it had to be a dream. It was somehow better than anything he could have ever imagined and immediately, something clicked into place that he had never realized before.

He loved her.

He loved Kate so much that the feeling had consumed him so fully he had not even been aware of it until this very moment.

Greedily, he leaned into the kiss, deepening it in a wish to steal whatever affection from her he could. When she moaned in response, his heart soared and Anthony was convinced that this was what heaven felt like. The feeling of Kate’s fingers roaming through his hair and her nails gently scratching his scalp and her soft sigh against his lips as they both recuperated the breaths they had lost without really breaking the way their bodies seemed to draw together like magnets. When she kissed him again, that hungry feeling in his stomach felt ravenous and Anthony barely registered anything as he could feel Kate’s hand move to roam over the skin underneath his shirt collar.

It felt far too soon and yet like an eternity had passed when Kate pulled away, her eyes fixing on his, the same hunger he felt reflected in her eyes.

Her fingers began to play with the small hairs at the back of his neck and Anthony was sure that this was how he was going to lose his mind.

“Happy birthday, Kate,” he finally managed, his voice hoarse and rough as he dove back in, deciding that he would take whatever she was willing to give him.

If she wanted to, he promised that he would make her feel as good as she deserved.

They did not eat the rest of the dinner until much later in the evening.

#kathony #kanthony #fanfic #bridgerton

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aardvark-123 · 1 year

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~The Silver-Heart Chronicles Part 2: Fetching a Shipment Should Be Perfectly Simple~

Yngvar couldn't believe the nerve of Jarl Ulfric, branding him a deserter when all he'd done was leave (in the dead of night, with his things stuffed in a sack) due to creative differences. Sending him a letter of inheritance was such a passive-aggressive way of letting him know he'd been found.

After a few days lying low in Kynesgrove, picking crops for the local farmers and only leaving for a bath in the river, Yngvar noticed that nobody had come to arrest him yet. He agreed to fetch a parcel from the local Orsimer stronghold of Narzulbur.

It was a beautiful morning, and as Yngvar hiked up into the mountains he felt his troubles fading away. This was a decent, honest life. Skyrim's status in the Empire, or lack thereof, was still a problem, but bringing Throk his parcel would at least make one life a little better.

At Narzulbur, a complication arose immediately.

"My kind? I don't know what your problem is, but I'm here to pick up a shipment from your blacksmith. I can be in and out in a couple of minutes-"

"Don't you have any ears under that old toboggan?! Only Orcs are welcome in an Orcish stronghold. We follow the Code of Malacath around here!"

"Code of-? I don't know anything about your folk religion, but I'm sure Malacath would want me to make my delivery without any unnecessary problems!" Yngvar reasoned. "If it'd make you feel better, you can escort me to the smithy... Or whatever it is."

The guardswoman scoffed. "And I suppose you think Malacath would want me to wrap you in a blanket, make you a nice, warm bowl of porridge with snowberry jam, slices of apple and some lovely, crumbly echatere cheese! Do you even know who Malacath is?!"

"He's the Daedric Prince of... Orcs? Sorry, Orsimer?"

"He's the god of the spurned, the father of our people. But why would a Nord care about studying world religions?" The guardswoman glared down at Yngvar. "Whine all you want, you aren't getting in here without a pair of tusks. That, or fetching a pair of enchanted gauntlets known as the Forgemaster's Fingers from the bandit stronghold of Lost Knife Hideout. Up to you."

It seemed that negotiations were at an end. Annoyed but determined, Yngvar set off to the western side of Eastmarch, where gangs of bandits were rumoured to strike out from Lost Knife Hideout without fear or mercy.

"Bloody arrogant Stronghold Orcs, all they care about's their stupid religion and keeping anyone who doesn't look like them out..." Yngvar grumbled as he hiked. "Actually, some of that sounds familiar. I suppose now I know how those Dunmer feel in the Grey Quarter."

No, Yngvar, you really don't.

It was a long walk, punctuated by the frequent wolf, skeever, bandit, necromancer and bear attacks any explorer in Skyrim soon came to expect. After spending the night in an abandoned hagraven's nest Yngvar made his way to Lost Knife Hideout and crept inside.

The crossbow Yngvar had bought in Kynesgrove was soon put to use. Yngvar had been born under the sign of the serpent, and as a hobby he dabbled in brewing potions and poisons. A few crossbow bolts dipped in nightshade and red mountain flower extract were enough to punch through the first of the bandits.

The mission was not to be an easy one, though. The Lost Knife bandits had made sure to leave their most inept members near the entrance, where their screams of crossbow-induced pain served as a siren to warn the whole cave. As Yngvar came to a deep cavern crossed by a narrow stone bridge, he found armoured warriors, swift-handed archers and even dark mages charging across.

Cornered between a poison sorceress and a disgraced ex-housecarl from Dawnstar, of whom I sadly have no pictures, Yngvar had no choice but to go down. He plunged into the icy water below and emerged, gasping and spluttering, far beneath the bridge. Arrows splashed into the water around him. Gritting his teeth against, well, everything, Yngvar lay back and pretended to be dead.

There was a hidden cave full of treasure, which was nice. There was also a path back up to the bridge, which was also nice. Yngvar waited until he couldn't hear any bandits laughing at his plight before sneaking back up.

It went swimmingly.

"Swimmingly? Was that supposed to be a pun?" Yngvar sighed as he clobbered the bandit mercilessly with her staff. "I'm just here for the Forgemaster's Fingers, you idiots! Most of you can stay alive if you let me take them!"

"Why did I have to open my big mouth? And why did I install Genesis Unleashed Levelled: Dynamically Increased Dungeon Spawns?" Yngvar groaned as ten bandits chased him back down the spiralling stone ramp.

"Have fun down there!" Yngvar laughed, sprinting back up the ramp before throwing down the dead bandit sorceress. She rolled through all ten of her friends, bowling them down into the water.

Somehow, Yngvar reached the inner sanctum, where he marvelled at the bandits' superlative taste in furniture. All those cages paired brilliantly with the rustic stone floor and that matte brown wallpaper.

The bronze-trimmed chest drew his eye, and sure enough it contained a pair of orichalcum gauntlets that shivered with magical energy. They were stuffed underneath a long mace with an unusual engraving: "Not suitable for dry cleaning. If found, please return to Terynne."

"And I'm sure Terynne will have a whale of a time fighting her way in here and lugging it home," Yngvar said kindly. "Hope she doesn't mind soggy bandits."

Mauhulakh, the chief of Narzulbur, was waiting to receive the gauntlets. "You're welcome," Yngvar said icily as he handed them over. "Sir."

"Now, about that parcel..."

Yngvar stashed the parcel under his hat and made his way back to Kynesgrove. It was dark when he got back, the streets empty but for the chickens and a few guards, so he knew Throk would be readily found enjoying a drink at the inn.

"Well, if it isn't Yngvar! You look like you've been through-"

"Just take it," growled Yngvar, shoving the sack into Throk's hands.

"Er, thanks-"

"Cash on delivery," Yngvar said firmly, holding out his hand.

Throk sighed and fetched a handful of septims. "I hope those Orcs didn't give you a hard time. You know you can wander in, right? Some of the more... traditional orcs might follow you around and complain, but you'd have been able to fetch my shipment and... Leave... Yngvar, why are you headbutting the wall?"

#Silver-Heart Chronicles #the Elder Scrolls #fun with pixels #Skyrim #my writing

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falneou17 · 2 years

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Do you reread old fanfiction you wrote and published?

I've seen a decent number of other writers whose answer to this very question has been 'no' but, as you can probably tell already, my answer is going to be 'yes'. And I can think of several reasons for this. It got a bit lengthy so the reasonings are under the cut.

I write in a fairly narrow and specific niche, especially since entering the BanG Dream fandom back in 2017 (which has already been over half a decade ago by now). Yes, characters like Moca, Ran, Rinko, and Tsugumi are all pretty popular characters in the fandom. Yes, BlueFlora is a popular ship in the fandom, and Afterglow and Afterglow-based interactions aren't super uncommon to see or hear about, either. And while I wouldn't go so far as to say that my themes and ideas are "unique" by any means, they are also not the obvious well-known ones, either. Maybe they are more common on AO3 but we all know that I don't read there. What I am getting at is that because I am interested in a fairly different-from-the-norm writing style and themes, there aren't a lot of writers who specialize or even experiment with that. So my only option to read fanfics that are similar to my specific writing style and themes... is to read my fanfics with my specific writing style and themes.

With irl stuffs that's been happening, I can't write as much as I would like to. As a matter of fact, I haven't been able to write much between March and August which has been a period of five whole months). Even when the periods of no writing aren't as long, there is still a significant period between writing and uploading chapters. Weeks in which it is very easy to lose track of minute details used throughout the fics. And what better way to jog my memory than to go through some old chapters?

One thing that I have seen again and again and again is that a significant number of writers do not want to read through or even be reminded of fanfics they did years or even months ago because "my writing was so bad back then". On the one hand, I understand completely (especially since a lot of writers start in their teen years apparently). On the other hand... that is honestly the beauty of writing fanfiction over a long period of time. I have been doing this for seven years now, at least five of those seven years I consider having done this regularly as my main hobby and side activity. And the fact that it is so well documented being on the internet and all is great. I can look at fanfiction I wrote years and years ago and see how bad my writing was back then and use that as motivation for me to improve. Heck, I can even use it as a guide to show how much I have improved over the years... the fact that I can consider my writing from times ago to be noticeably worse than my writing today is the perfect indication that I have grown beyond that level and can recognize the multitude of mistakes that I made in the past. That is also why I don't take down old fanfictions like Specialventure... was it bad with a ton of mistakes? For sure. Did it age poorly? Definitely! But keeping it around gives physical proof for not just myself but my readers to see how far I have improved between my PokeSpe fanfic days and today...

This has never been a secret: I always have and probably (read: hopefully) always will write the specific fanfiction that I want to write and that I enjoy writing. This would naturally mean that the fanfics I write are the type of fanfics that I think I would enjoy reading them. Because... why work on a creative hobby for yourself if you can't confidently say that you would enjoy seeing the end product as the, for lack of a better word, consumer of the creative product? I like writing my fanfics but more than that I am, for the most part, satisfied with myself for the fanfics and the level and quality of the fanfics considering my irl situation and writing skills at the time. So why not take a moment every once in a while to look back fondly at any of the sixty fanfics I have published at the time of writing this answer?

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traincat · 3 years

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I know the comic piracy debate is a never-ending cycle, but in India where I live, you can't get western comics (or manga for that matter). There aren't comic book stores. Sometimes on Amazon you can find collected editions worth more than INR 1000 at least, for the paperbacks. Most older collections, even from the early 2000s, will be upwards of INR 6000. And sure, it's because the exchange value is so low for Indian rupees, but that's still a LOT of money to Indian citizens. You can get digital editions of random odd issues for approx. INR 150, so that's there. But overall it's really a huge investment to buy a physical comic. So yes, I pirate. But I get so guilty when this debate rolls around, every time. I just don't see any other alternative.

I debated whether or not to answer this considering I haven't really addressed the comics piracy issue before so I'm not sure I'm the right account to talk about it, and also because my askbox is not a confessional and I am not a priest, but then some Spider-Man news broke that I feels ties into it this so whatever, we're going for it. The comics piracy debate comes up every couple of months and will probably continue to come up every couple of months until forever and all of these points have been stated before by others because nothing in this debate is new. First things first, you shouldn't feel guilty. I'm going to suggest actually that nobody should feel guilty, unless you are like, a millionaire and you're exclusively pirating indie books. The prices you're quoting are prohibitively expensive but I have some unfortunate news for everyone involved: the prices are really bad in the US, too. If you want good collected editions, especially in hardcover, they're going to run at similar if not quite equal prices. Comics have gone from a cheap hobby to an overwhelmingly expensive hobby.

This is a good article comparing to the cover costs of American comics since the 1960s adjusted for inflation which I think puts some things in perspective. Comics currently cost roughly $5 USD per issue, which doesn't sound that bad, even though most of my monthly streaming services are roughly that price for a whole month's access to a library of content. But it only doesn't sound that bad if you're not buying special issues (the Marvel Pride book retailed for $10), and if you're only reading one or two books a month. The problem is, American superhero comics are specifically designed so you're not reading just one or two books per month -- this is why we have events! And crossovers! Not for the story potential but because it forces the consumer to purchase more product. This is why there's constantly an event running with a checklist of tie-in issues in the back. So now you're spending probably at least $20 a month. If you're a fan with a lot of interest in different titles, and in different publishers, this can easily hit triple USD digits. It's a money pit. It's not affordable to most people. And this is where that new Spider-Man news comes in, because it was announced today that Amazing Spider-Man is going back to a thrice monthly schedule like it used to operate on during Brand New Day. Which sounds good at first -- more comics, yay -- until you realize that's probably going to be $15 USD a month for a one title. That's $180 a year for one title, not including annuals or special issues. That's not feasible for a lot of fans -- young fans, poor fans, fans with other financial obligations etc. And most people aren't reading just one title. I don't know how the X-Men fans are currently financing their Krakoa habit and I'm afraid to ask. There are services like Marvel Unlimited, which make things slightly more affordable, but I imagine the wait for newer issues to hit the service can be alienating for some fans who want to join in current discussions, the library has some incredibly massive holes in it which is unacceptable when it's coming from inside the mouse house, and I believe, although I could be wrong, that it is not available in all countries. Comics are no longer an easily accessible hobby, if you're paying for everything you read.

"But the creatives deserve to get paid" is the common argument and yeah, they do, I'm not arguing that point. They should absolutely get paid and they should get well. I'm a writer, I'm a published writer even, and I want to be a published novelist, and I definitely want to get paid, and I'm reserving the right to be a complete hypocrite about this, as I do with everything in my life, but this is where the difference between indie publications and Marvel publications comes in: Marvel is owned by Disney. There is absolutely no excuse for Disney not to pay their creatives. If they are not getting paid fairly, it's not because you pirated a book -- it's because Disney has a vested interest in not paying their creators, as evidenced by Alan Dean Foster's lawsuit claiming that they are withholding royalties from him. Fans pirating these books are not the reason the creatives are not getting paid fairly -- the creatives are not getting paid fairly for the same reason that Disney park employees experience homelessness, and it's because Disney would rather put that money into the pockets of their executives. There is no debate on that subject. It's easier and perhaps more convenient to blame fans for pirating comics rather than putting all of their money into what has been for years now a prohibitively expensive hobby to keep up with, but the fact of the matter is Disney could pay all of their creatives what they're worth without hurting their bottom line and instead chooses not to. That is not on you, as an individual reader. You have no reason to feel guilty about that, no matter what your circumstances are, and you do not have to justify your actions to either me or the House of the Mouse. I'm with you, and Disney ultimately doesn't care. They're making that money up elsewhere and then not distributing it fairly to the people who create the properties their media empire is built off of. But especially if you're buying older books, you should know that your money is not going to the creative team -- once it's out of publication, they're not going to get any of the money you spent on it. The argument then becomes that you should be supporting local comics stores which yes, is true, but also doesn't apply to everyone, like anon who doesn't have access to local comic book stores. And again, this can become prohibitively expensive -- collections are expensive. Older, hard to find collections can be very expensive. Once something is out of print, all bets are off on what it might be selling for. Buying single issues is only affordable if the single issue isn't desirable or sometimes if it's in exceedingly bad condition. For the sake of transparency, I have a fairly big single issue collection because it's my preferred format, but I had the time to bargain hunt, access to local comic book stores and large comic conventions, and I'm very good at sniping eBay auctions. The most I have ever dropped on a single issue was expensive for me -- and still under three digits USD -- and it's for an issue from the '60s that is not in great condition.

The problem with this debate is that it is generally a nuanced issue that always gets boiled down to "piracy bad" in a way that makes a lot of well meaning and well intentioned fans, especially the ones with extenuating circumstances, feel bad. It's not your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty. There are a huge amount of reasons why someone might pirate something that are not bad reasons and do not make you a bad person who is personally withholding money from the creators -- because you're not. I don't publicly tell people where to pirate comics, mostly because I really don't think it's that hard to find out for yourselves especially because several creators involved with Marvel themselves have, I suspect accidentally, posted pages of their work to social media WITH THE BANNER OF A WELL KNOWN COMICS PIRACY SITE STILL IN THE IMAGE please learn how to crop, so maybe my standpoint on the issue wasn't well known, but there it is. I think readers should, if they are able to financially and otherwise, support the creators they like, but that it should be acknowledged that this is a more complicated issue than it's commonly made out to be on Twitter and that the largest part of the blame needs to be put on the companies making these comics inaccessible to many and who refuse to pay their creators fairly, not on individual fans. Don't feel guilty, anon.

#traincat talks comics #*replies

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vickyvicarious · 3 years

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Parker: "Teach me to like stuff."

Okay, so. I have some thoughts about The French Connection Job's Parker+Eliot subplot. And I think I wanna approach it separately, scene by scene from each of their perspectives, because we have a couple different things going on here. It's still a little more of a Parker meta than an Eliot meta, but I have enough to talk about on both sides, and they're connected enough not to be in separate metas, that I am going to do it this way.

Also going to put this under a cut because it gets long.

Parker

This whole subplot comes on the heels of the last episode, in which there was a lot of banter throughout about Hardison and Parker's dates, and him wanting to branch out into other things than just bungee jumping or whatever. We have seen hints of this throughout S5 so far, even though we're only a few episodes in at this point. They went on a world tour that was pretty much just jumping off of stuff, Hardison said something about them figuring things out. We saw a cute domestic scene of the aftermath of them watching a movie together, except Parker 'fell asleep again' and missed most of it, and Hardison eventually went off to work on his laptop. Parker tried to comfort him last episode about dust mites and ended up freaking him out instead. She talked about how she liked fire and Hardison complained she was missing the point of his offer for a candlelit picnic. They did end on a very romantic note with her still making the effort to make it happen but getting rained out, and him recognizing her effort and listening to him, and projecting the stars around the dark room then having the picnic inside. They are clearly very happy together and both making the effort to meet in the middle, but there are still some disconnects. Which makes sense this early on anyway, but it's not out of place for Parker to start getting worried about her limited interests here given the context of them contrasting Hardison's more widespread interests.

Starting right off the bat - there's a picture limit so I can't show these early moments, but throughout the first part of the episode we see Parker looking visibly upset/pensive. Hardison notices and asks her what's wrong, but is immediately distracted by his package arriving, and then the team gets into the briefing and he doesn't get to talk to her again. (Sidenote that this is pretty OOC for Hardison, and I have to assume he would at the very least come back to her later, but they were clearly trying to get Parker talking with someone else this episode and apparently couldn't come up with a better way to do it. His writing outside of the kitchen stuff was kinda off this whole episode anyway, what with the whole tip thing.) She was about to open up to him, however, which is important. There's also a scene shortly afterwards where she confides in Nate, again after he notices her being upset and asks what's bothering her. She claims everyone but her has 'a thing', and names a few of them. He asks her what she thinks when she sees Michelangelo's David, and when her answer is an immediate assessment of how it's guarded and what she'd have to do to steal it, he kind of hesitates and then goes right back to running the con. He basically gives up on helping her with this once it becomes clear that a quick sentence or two isn't gonna cut it.

So after those brief, unhelpful conversations, that's when she makes a move. She was responding to others before, but this time she comes up to Eliot, clearly nervous. And she asks him to help her feel something.

(I find it very interesting that she doesn't ask Sophie. Sophie is the person who she would usually go to for something like this, after all. But, aside from this being an Eliot-centric episode and just like them sidelining Hardison's possible assistance earlier the writers want Parker to talk with Eliot not Sophie, I think there are maybe a couple reasons why she might go to him here. First, just distance. Eliot is right downstairs, meanwhile at the moment Sophie is however far across town at her theater. Certainly not saying she wouldn't go to Sophie eventually, but maybe that's why not first. Second, she and Eliot have an understanding, one that's been explicitly acknowledged since the start of S4. They are similar in a way entirely unlike the rest of the crew. So while Sophie may understand emotions best, Eliot is the one most likely to know what Parker is talking about when she says she just isn't feeling anything. Which by the way I'm gonna get more into later on. Thirdly they're in love but that's not actually relevant here since all of the team love one another.)

Eliot

On Eliot's side, she approaches him when he's busy in the kitchen. This whole job is stirring up a lot of old feelings in him right from the start. Toby was someone who 'kept him from falling all the way down', and Eliot is deeply concerned for him. At the same time, the way they are running this con is allowing Eliot to take on the role of teacher. Even though his students aren't anything like the eager students Toby has just had taken away from him, Eliot wants so badly to take advantage of this opportunity to teach them - maybe even all the more because they're resistant. He's being given a very rare opportunity to indulge his belief that food is life and to share it on a larger scale. To use the knife to create, not just destroy. Leverage often walks a line between doing both (taking down the bad guys and helping people) but Eliot doesn't often just straight up get to just do the 'creating' part. (I mean, he loves the destruction too, he genuinely loves beating people up and taking down bad guys, but this is a rarer pleasure.) So he's pretty preoccupied with that at first, and initially dismisses Parker just like the other two guys did.

But when she just looks quietly disappointed at his response, he goes still and watches her. We cut away from them here so we don't see his actual response, but it's immediately clear that he's realizing this is actually something deeply important to Parker, and well worth his time.

On to the next part of this scene below.

[Eliot sets a dish down in front of Parker]

Parker: "...It's just food."

Eliot: "It's not just food! Alright, some people could look at it and just see food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen I'm, I'm creating something outta nothing, you know what I mean? And sometimes I crush it, sometimes it's crap, but either way - it makes me feel something."

Parker: "Feel what?"

Eliot: "Just... feel."

Parker: [murmuring] "Feel... okay." [looks down at the food and hesitates]

Eliot: "You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time. Then Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food - this is my art. This is my art, Parker." [Parker nods, looking worried] "It's like lettin' a stranger in your head, just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling." [pause] "Look again." [he pushes the plate a little closer to her. Parker takes a deep breath and slowly sets her elbows down on the counter as she stares down at the plate. Eliot watches her closely.]

Parker

At this point I want to talk a little about what Parker means when she says "feel something" and talks about "having a thing." Because we've seen her have interests outside of straightforward thievery before. Sure, most of her hobbies revolves around stealing - casing local banks for fun, for example. But she clearly has a deep love for Christmas and for chocolate. So why doesn't she count those kinds of things as 'feeling something'?

I think it comes down to what Eliot's talking about here. It's a sense of art. Not even necessarily making it yourself, although that certainly applies. Parker likes sweet things like chocolate and donuts, but although she really really likes them they don't make her feel any truly deep emotion. It's more tactile than anything else, just a pleasant flavor. Her love of Christmas isn't the same either in her eyes because it's not uniquely hers. It's something she loves to celebrate but she can't do so all year round, and plenty of other people like Christmas too. This one comes a lot closer, because it definitely seems to be tied up more in community and family for her than something like enjoying chocolate and piñatas, but it still doesn't belong to her in the same way that cooking does to Eliot or theater does to Sophie. And while theoretically her love of base jumping and so on could maybe count, it is still so tied up in her thieving that it doesn't feel separate. She's really good at drawing but only thinks of it as a useful skill, not a creative outlet - this is similar to that.

She has been branching out into a lot of new experiences and emotions lately, and while she's struck out deep into uncharted waters with her relationship with Hardison, once there she's only seeing more and more things that she just... doesn't get. She loves spending time with him, and enjoys what they do together, but she doesn't understand all of those things. Not on a deeper level. She wants to feel that sense of connection to something, wants to feel deeply emotionally moved by something.

And honestly? I think she's way up in her head about it. I'm not trying to dismiss her struggle here at all, but I do think she is stressing herself out about having something uniquely her own. About having a huge interest that speaks so strongly to her personally. And those are amazing to have, but it's really not necessary. She doesn't need a strong secondary passion so much as she needs to let go of trying so hard to force herself into something.

And what's happening in this scene in particular is that Parker is trying so so hard to force herself to feel something. It's evident in her face throughout the whole scene, in her body language. And she is so terrified that it's not going to work that honestly, I'm not surprised at all that it doesn't.

Eliot

On Eliot's side of this scene, he feels like he recognizes where Parker is. This entire job has him remembering how it was to feel nothing. Her phrasing got to him deeply. He wants to reach out and teach her to see something more, just like Toby taught him.

He knew a bit about how to cook before Toby. But it was only seeing Toby's passion that struck something in him, that awoke a part of himself he might've never known before. For Eliot specifically, cooking being an art isn't just something he likes. It's something that brings him hope.

Eliot doesn't believe in redemption. But he believes in actions. And what Toby did, by teaching him to cook, was to teach him that his actions can be good. That he can create, not just destroy. That all is not lost - not 'for' him necessarily, so much as 'in' him. There is a deep empty place inside himself that he can enter so so easily. The difficulty is crawling back out again. Cooking was his rope out of there. He still finds it difficult to express his emotions very often, particularly verbally, but when he makes someone a meal he puts a part of himself into it. And yet doing so doesn't take anything from him, it just adds more.

This is all very vague and figurative and may make no sense, but the takeaway I want to have is that Eliot is opening up to Parker on a very deep level here. He feels like he recognizes what she's talking about, and it was a very bad place for him. (Again, I don't think she is quite that badly off at this point in canon, but I digress.) And while making food allows him to feel that he is demonstrating his love for someone, that he is sharing a part of himself with them, he recognizes that she isn't receiving that. What she's getting, is just a plate of food. Tasty food maybe, but nothing more than that. And so Eliot verbalizes everything to her in a way he rarely does.

And then he keeps trying. This scene obviously doesn't end up making her feel something, and we don't get to see the immediate aftermath of that, but we can glean a little about how they feel based on their reactions. And Eliot is deeply determined to help Parker feel something from his food. He insists that she play the food critic; even speaks directly to her and reminds her to consider what they talked about.

In the restaurant, we start out with Parker dutifully playing her role but feeling nothing much beyond just the role. Eliot checks in with Parker, she acknowledges that the food is good but doesn't make her feel anything, and he makes improvements based on her feedback. Then something abruptly changes.

Parker: "I can taste garlic, and mushrooms... and something else that makes me feel different."

Hardison: "Wait, was that for me, cause I-I don't get it."

Parker: "No, it's the food. I get it." [smiles] "I feel something."

Parker: "Mmm! These black noodles are amazing!

Eliot: "Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi."

Parker: "Mmm." [eats a huge forkful] "Mmm. Mmmm. These are really good."

Parker

What just happened here? Last we saw from Parker, she'd failed to feel something from the meal Eliot made especially for her in the brewpub, and she was clearly disheartened. She felt it as a failure, very much in the sense of a disappointment. She didn't want to try again, didn't think it would work, and tried to protest when Eliot said she would be the food critic. Even once she got to the restaurant, nothing was happening for her.

The difference wasn't in the flavor of the food. The moment Parker started to feel something was right after she said she felt nothing and Eliot, instead of being disappointed or giving up, took it as a challenge. He changed his recipe, he improved it specifically to better reach out to her. He kept trying.

And yeah, maybe the bone broth helped it taste better. But that wasn't the point, not really. The point is that Parker had gotten herself stuck in a hole, trapped herself in this cycle of not understanding how things make you feel and then believing that she just couldn't. She wanted something of her own and she didn't have it and she didn't immediately get anyone else's thing either, and that was it. She just wasn't capable. She was other. This is an old old fear of Parkers, dating back to Archie or even before. Something in her just isn't capable of being like other people. She wasn't worthy of being in Archie's real family, and she's not able to feel passion for anything outside of stealing. (Setting aside the fact that she loves her team, that all she needed was the right family. That you don't have to be a creator to feel passion, and you don't need to be passionate about any particular thing in order to feel deeply and find beauty in the world.) Parker has empathized deeply with people, has felt so intensely before and is constantly trying to learn more and new ways to be. But because she is noticing her teams' passions now, she has this ideal that she wants to reach, and none of that is good enough for her. She doesn't even know exactly what her ideal involves, but she can't get to it.

But when Eliot doesn't give up, that gets to her. If he views his food as sharing himself with others, Parker finally gets what he's been trying to give all along. It's all about him trying again and again, changing his approach to match her better. That's what she feels, that's what she enjoys.

And once she starts, the floodgates open. She loves the black noodles. She is so happy, she is relieved. There was this huge resistance that she couldn't get past before, but Eliot persisting helped her to break past that and now that she is out of her head about it she can enjoy the food in a way she never has before. Because she feels his love for her in it.

Eliot

Eliot is trying so hard to connect to Parker. It's not really different from what I said in the last Eliot section, and basically the same as what I just said in that Parker section, but I want to emphasize a little more just how much this is about love on his end.

Eliot loves Parker. He loves her, and he wants so much to help her. It doesn't honestly matter that he does this with food, except for the fact that food is what matters so deeply to Eliot himself. He can't reach out to her in the same way through any other medium. And we don't get to see his reaction to Parker's moment of realization. But I think it would be such a deep sense of joy. This is as fulfilling for Eliot as it is for Parker. It's exactly what Eliot has been hoping for this whole episode, to teach someone else to see food in the same way he does. It doesn't matter if it only lasts for a moment or a single meal. That's enough. He has been the support Parker needed through this time of self-doubt. And it is all the more meaningful to him because this isn't just a random student, this is Parker.

He told her he loves her through his food, again and again, and she eventually felt it. She understood. That must mean so much to him.

I wanna end with one more brief note on Parker. Does she get her own "thing" this episode? No. No she does not, and this scene shows us that. Parker is not suddenly interested in food or cooking. The importance of that meal was purely derived from Eliot on the other end of it, focused on her and trying his best to reach out to her.

And I don't think this is something only Eliot could have done for her either, not really. The difference between him and the others this episode is mostly in persistence. However, it's also about her mentality. Hardison has built/done things for Parker before and she felt them just as deeply - but the context was different. She wasn't looking for a sense of beauty or art in the world at large then, and so even though she felt the love in the gift just as much, it didn't make her feel like she could find that kind of emotion in other things. She just wasn't looking for it. Also, it was made easier for Eliot to reach out because there's that connection Parker has with him, that understanding that they are on the same level somehow. She doesn't feel that with Hardison - and she loves him all the more for him being different from her, but he also I think can intimidate her with how good and open he is, with how much he can feel in so many different directions. It's part of why she got so worried about herself not being able to do so this episode.

Like, the team has scolded Nate for not having a life or interests of his own outside the job not too terribly long ago! And Parker has had her own joys before! But she isn't seeing that this episode, too caught up in this fear about not having her own 'thing', not feeling anything that way. So while anyone could have helped her through this, it was easiest for her to let Eliot do so + for him to understand what she needed from him. (Hardison in particular was rudely robbed the opportunity, but they all love and support her and could have reached her. Not to detract from Eliot doing so, but also I don't wanna sound like no other method of reaching out would've worked.)

But as soon as she feels something once with Eliot's help, that relaxes those fears. And then Parker is free to look in other places. She remembers Nate's comment about art, and maybe even tells him what she plans based on him knowing where she is at the end of the episode. And then she goes to visit this statue. In her own way which means breaking in, but without any goal of taking it. She just goes to look at the art. And she feels something again.

Parker doesn't gain some big passion at the end of this episode. She doesn't need to. She never did. She just learns how to let herself relax from that restrictive frame of mind. To simply be in the moment and enjoy things for the sake of what they are. To feel - not really in any way she was incapable of before, but intentionally now. It's a quiet victory, in the end. It doesn't mean she's going to get a new hobby or change her lifestyle at all really. But she's let go of a fear and is now intentionally seeking out new connections with the world beyond her once-limited parameters.

#leverage #leverage meta #parker #eliot spencer #my meta #ugggggh why did this get so long?! i just wanted to jot down a few thoughts!#hopefully it's coherent #i'm like half-asleep at this point which probably accounts for the length since i ramble on when i'm tired. and also hopefully for anything #that doesn't make sense

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otakusheep15 · 2 years

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hello! may i get a matchup?

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: pan

positives: think of the most stereotypical infp... artsy, sweet, romantic (hopelessly so, is that bad?), idealistic, willing do everything to avoid/fix fights

negatives: rapid mood swings, cries easily, sensitive, anxious, easily drained introvert, has difficulty saying no

hobbies: reading, drawing, online window shopping, watching anime, going on walks and taking pictures of stray cats

fav color: black

open to being matched with anyone!

and thank you for the matchup. love your blog 🥰

(I'm also a stereotypical infp lol, anyways)

I match you with Asmo!

You are basically almost his ideal type if I'm being honest. He really likes artsy, creative types since he's the same way when it comes to fashion and general beauty. Asmo also likes those who are sweet since he just finds that to be a good trait. It's rare to find someone in the Devildom who is actually decent, so he's lucky to have you. While he isn't used to romance, he's such a lowkey hopeless romantic. Even though no one believes him, he just wants to be swept off his feet and romanced by someone. He's also pretty idealistic, so y'all match well in that area as well. Amso is super glad you try not to get into fights since he also usually tries to avoid them. However, fights break out at the house constantly, so he's glad you're also willing to fix them.

Asmo gets you having rapid mood swings. It happens to him sometimes as well, and his brothers sometimes get them too. He great at dealing with mood swings, and he has ways he can help you out if you want. He also gets crying easily. He honestly encourages you to cry since it's a good way to get out any negative emotions, and he's right there to comfort you if you're comfortable with it. Sensitivity and anxiety aren't things he experiences a lot, but he has experience with it since a few of his brothers are the same way. As much of an extravert as he is, he's more than willing to push that aside when you get drained. He'll never drag you out to parties unless you ask first, and he'll bring you home the second you start draining. And if anyone tries to take advantage of the fact you can't really say no, it's on sight.

As for your hobbies, he could certainly get into them. He usually just sticks with magazines for reading, but he will read anything you suggest, or just anything you even mention. He wants to understand your interests better. Asmo also isn't that good at drawing/art, but he's fascinated by it all the same. Would love to watch you draw, or at least see the final product after. He prefers to go shopping in person, but he totally up for online shopping with you if that's what you'd prefer. Plus, he's really good at figuring out what to buy 99% of the time, no matter what you're looking for. Levi has forced Asmo into watching a couple of anime here and there, so he's at least somewhat familiar. Show him some anime you're interested in and he'll most likely watch them. Please take him out to take pics of stray cats. He'd totally spam Satan with them whenever possible.

Rules for matchups

#matchups #obey me #obey me asmodeus

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threewaysdivided · 3 years

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If I think about the MCU too hard I get upset

I ended up falling away from the MCU just slightly after the first wave for completely unrelated reasons between finishing my degree, starting work and having too many hobbies I just sort of stopped watching much TV or going to the movies and I never really picked it back up, and based on most of the things I've heard about the change in focus and - by many accounts - quality decline in the storytelling, I think it may have accidentally been the best "choice" I made.

That said, as someone who similarly can't think too hard about the YJ revival without getting upset, I completely sympathise. It's heart-breaking to watch a story or franchise that you trusted with your emotional investment because it seemed like it was being made by people who had a story to tell and cared about telling it fall to the zombiefication of executive profiteering.

To watch storylines and plot points that used to be impactful be turned into formulas, shallowly repeated over and over until they lose their ability to mean anything. To watch characters and character relationships be reduced to hollow husks of their former selves, existing mostly to remind you that once upon a time you liked these people. To see theme and meaning at best fade and at worse be twisted into cynical inversions of what they used to be because the people in charge have realised that the superficial appearance of depth or thoughtfulness or maturity or topicality or diversity or progressivism sells just as well for cheaper than actually being any of those things in a world where media has an ever-shortening lifespan, most of the money comes from the initial wave of sales, and marketing comes from breathy tweets and uncritical "reviews" by media companies who are themselves time-pressed and playing the same game. To know that, even if some members of the creative teams genuinely still care about storytelling and respecting the fans and aren't just cashing a lazy paycheque, the production environment might not allow them to show it (DC Comics allegedly gave the Suicide Squad writers only six weeks to fully script the movie, and compare the years of preproduction behind the early MCU to now, where the actors are not only given so little information that they can't make meaningful acting choices, they sometimes don't even know what movies they're filming the scenes for.)

It hurts, to come to a show or series or movie or author in good faith, trusting based on the quality of the work that they genuinely have a story for you, only to find out that they don't care; that they don't respect their audience and were just wasting your time for as long as was necessary to get your money.

I can make peace with a series that falls apart because of creative decisions or production limitations or questionable execution, or even just goes in a direction that I personally don't vibe with, if there's a sense of creative intent and passion behind it. If at least one person with the power to do so was fighting for the narrative. But knowing that someone had every tool available to create a good (or at least competent) story and didn't because they knew the money would spend the same regardless of whether or not they put in the effort... it's hard not to get frustrated and angry and upset by that. The lack of resolution, of accountability, of closure, both in-text and out of it is hard to process. I think I’d almost prefer malice to apathy: at least malice means someone cared enough to try and be hurtful.

(In fact, this is one of the reasons why my writing speed for YJ:DW has significantly slowed down since the revival released - as much as I care about the story of my fanfic and know I have something to say with it, its hard to not feel like there are some fans of DP who might decide to get into YJ canon through my story; who I am setting up to go through the same experience of disappointment and betrayal just so some hack showrunners and executives can keep the lights on.)

But you know what?

Ultimately?

It doesn't matter.

I have the first season of Young Justice and a good handful of the early MCU movies on DVD, and I can watch them as many times as I like without Disney or DC getting a single cent of additional profit or bit of consumer metrics from me. I can wait for proper fan reviews and read wiki pages to make sure future output from big corporations is worth giving my money to. I'll be putting an authors note at the end of YJ:DW's next chapter, explaining that I only consider the first season worth watching. I have the Young Justice: Outsiders tag blacklisted and I unfollow blogs that post about it a lot so that I don't have to be reminded of a work that upsets me. I can filter tags on AO3 or go back to the older FFN archive to find fics from other people who care about the same parts of the show I do. I think about the hope and potential in this segment from Super Eyepatch Wolf's Sonic The Hedgehog video when considering the future of art from big corporate industry entities:

"The reason all this is so important is that, for all the missteps Sega have made with Sonic over the years, it's their willingness to embrace their own fan culture that's arguably resurrected Sonic as a mainstream pop culture juggernaut; the Sonic the Hedgehog movie going on to make a hundred million dollars at the box office, surpassing even Nintendo's Detechive Pikachu. I think fandoms reflect the very best and very worst of what a piece of media is, and Sonic is now a character that exists in a thousand different forms over countless different media. And yeah, sometimes they can be strange and disturbing, but these are the people who love Sonic... and are now drawing his comics, programming his games and designing his movies. Bringing life back to the once-fallen character."

We have the right - and in many ways the responsibility - to curate our fandom experience as best suits us; including what we choose to keep from canon and what we choose to leave behind. And sure, there will be a breed of people who insist that you have to like, enjoy and accept every piece of textual and extra-textual information about a series in order to be a "real fan" but that's only one way to do it and you absolutely do not have to care about getting their approval. Really, once a work is released to the public the Author is Dead and it becomes a big literary sandbox. It's our city now. (I mean, heck, just look at the DP fandom with it's blatant disregard for the line between canon and fanon and the way so many people openly shun the lead creator and worst written episodes.)

You're allowed to just stick to the parts that resonated with you; to the products of a time when - whether through passion, hard work or just plain luck - a group of people managed to capture lightning in a bottle.

There will always be creators who are passionate about making art, and there will always be good, sincere, meaningful art to find. Even if it means going a little ways off the beaten track.

Keep what brings you joy. Put aside the rest. Block, blacklist and filter as needed.

And if needed, take a break. The good parts will still be there to come back to once you’re in a better headspace.

Don't ever let the apathy of a big corporation take a thing you love away from you.

#3WD answers #youmaycallmeyourhigness #MCU #Marvel #DC Comics #sorry this got quite long and tangential #and preachy #it's a rant that's been building for about three years #Do not let a corporation that demonstrably does not respect or care about you dictate how you have to interact with their products #or let it change the way you care about things #lazy cynical profiteering #fandom #Admittedly I'm not the best at taking my own advice #Some days I still want to go nail a list of grievances to Grandon and DC HQ's front door Martin-Luthor style #Some days it's hard to watch YJS1 and not dwell on every plot point that promised potential and ended up wasted #but it's not worth dwelling on - the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results #I can care about and get angry over good storytelling until the cows come home and it still won't make the creators care #so I might as well take that and put it into writing the story I CAN control as best I can #so yeah - as far as YJ canon goes... once Deathly Weapons is done I probably won't be coming back #(Which - let's be real - probably means I'll be in the fandom until retirement given my writing speed)

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onewomancitadel · 2 years

Note

Do you think Cinder has any non violent hobbies? XD

Yes I do and I'm not even sure killing is her true hobby to begin with. I think Tyrian takes 'you've got to love what you do for your job' very seriously but that's not her character. I don't even think her killing of Pyrrha was particularly sadistic; if anything it's her most just kill, other than Ozpin (which was fair and square). I think the more questionable moral acts are the killing of the woman at the bottom of the Vault (she saw Cinder was a monster, so I think there is a 'you see me as a monster, I'll show you a monster' element here) and the big splodey antics on the yellow brick road to Vacuo, though those civilians aren't presumably dead. Anyway: my issue is non-combatants, but otherwise her last cast kill is Vernal. I guess like, if it's not a named character and also not one you happen to care about it doesn't matter, so people only get upset over Pyrrha, and for that matter seem to assign sadism/enjoyment of the kill to it. I think she's very excited about the Fall Maiden power, for what it's worth.

Anyway I do lean pretty hard on the allusions for this type of thing (particularly for constructing my own fic) but given how often her clothes change compared to the rest of the cast, I think she makes her own clothes and probably cares about fashion to some degree. (Thank God. At least ONE of the cast has some sense of sartorial awareness to work with, and with her character I can at least avoid the simpering YA protagonist (often transplanted into fanfic) who hates pretty things but STILL has to have the requisite makeover scene that is obviously necessary because she is UGLY but she doesn't choose it anyway (I think THG is the exception to this) - just leave her ugly! or I don't know, maybe your idea of ugliness is stupid)!

And yes I do like the idea of anything creative associated with her character. I also like that Salem plays in her witch lab making new Grimm and has a fun creative time with things that should not be, because that gives complexity to her as well as themes of creation/destruction, plus Mummy has a new chemistry set and she wants you to show you her new creation. [cue Cinder's fear seeing the Hound] lol

I also think she probably has a lot of skills from working under Madame/learning under Salem and there was probably all sorts of fucked up feelings associated with mending clothes for the sisters and Madame and watching them ruin their nice clothes that SHE could wear. So how she reconciles that could be interesting. In my fic. I can't imagine they'll make a point of this in the show because hobbies are not generally points of specific interest explored like this lol.

I also like the idea she doesn't know she sings but she does (siiiigh yeah I am hopeless. Come on. Show us the poem:

And we said together, there needs to be some pleasure in the world. And next, poetry is the what is left of life. And we pledged, more singing. And we referenced by saying, In the dark times. Will there also be singing? Yes, there will also be singing. About the dark times.

Will There Be Singing, Juliana Spahr)

Right so you can tell that I just go really ham on the duality. That's a repeated theme in the show but Cinder I think is probably the figure most steeped in darkness that could be acute light. (Like, Ruby is obviously chthonic, but her light is much clearer, though I think her Wolfiness will come out in the next few volumes).

Also there is the Cinderella (1950 something film) thing of Cinderella singing. So there’s that.

There is a lot more I could say but this is already enough of a peek into my mind so we'll leave it there. Plus you can see in Skimming Eye I think Jaune and Cinder do insufferably cute things together. I could also see her getting into just like, really weird stuff for short spurts because when she's free she can do whatever she wants. Cue an origami collection. And then Jaune just gets her whatever she wants too.

Thanks anon that was fun to think about. Hope you are having a good day so far.

#seraphina's asks #cinder fall sadsack tag

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the-maxrecords-blog · 7 years

Conversation

where the wild things went

Vice: Hello Max. This is your first film in five years. What on earth have you been doing with your time?

Max: Just living, you know? Living, going to school, getting done with school.

Vice: Did you ever worry, "Hang on, what if I've forgotten how to act"?

Max: I didn't really think about it until the first day or two shooting then I was like, "What the fuck am I doing here?". For the first couple of days the learning curve was pretty steep again.

Vice: How does one even go about preparing to play a sociopath? Presumably it wasn't method acting.

Max: I kind of feel like there is no such thing as acting that isn't method to some degree because if you're not actually experiencing it, then you're a fucking liar. I was talking with Billy [O'Brien - director] about it and - I forget the word that he keeps using - but it's an intuitive process. You just kind of feel it out, you know? I was pretty miserable while we were shooting, just because you're in a super dark brain space all day. Especially living in a place like Minnesota where we were shooting, six days a week. You don't get the opportunity to turn it off, you know? And that's great as far as the actual creative process goes but it sucks as far as trying to be a person.

Vice: Have you ever done a psychopath test?

Max: I don't think so.

Vice: Would you like to do one?

Max: Yeah, let's do it! Is it legit or is it some Facebook nonsense?

Vice: Oh, Facebook nonsense probably.

Max: So you're not licensed?

Vice: We're not unlicensed.

Max: I'm pretty sure it's an either-or thing.

Vice: So there are eight statements. You either agree or disagree. First one: "You rarely catch me making any plans. I'm far too spontaneous".

Max: Yeah, absolutely.

Vice: "If I got a better offer, I wouldn't mind cancelling longstanding plans".

Max: Yeah, that's probably true.

Vice: "It would be fun to drive fast cars, ride rollercoasters or go skydiving".

Max: I've been skydiving. Fast cars are fun. I don't get the appeal of rollercoasters. I guess I haven't really done a true roller coaster. It feels artificial.

Vice: Shall we disagree?

Max: No, let's agree.

Vice: Alright. "I think it's okay to step over other people to achieve my ambitions".

Max: I don't know. I don't think you necessarily need to it. I can't think of many situations that I've been in where that's necessary, where there isn't some other course of action you could take. Let's disagree.

Vice: Do you have an ambition?

Max: In the broader context of my life, I just want to gain skills. Recently I was doing an outdoor programme back in the States through this thing called NOLS [National Outdoor Leadership School], so I was off doing that for a couple of months. Getting better at being outdoors and learning how the natural world works. And I love playing music so getting better at that. Just learning to be a better, more competent person. Trying to not be a dick.

Vice: It's a good motto. Okay: "I'm very persuasive and getting people to get what I want is a real talent of mine".

Max: Agree! I think I'm pretty good at that. I've been manipulating my parents for years.

Vice: The perks of being a child star... What was that whole experience like?

Max: Really awful! Especially for children, the film world is just terrible. You can't grow up in that world and still have a connection to reality. At least if you're, like, really in it. Especially the poor folks out there who have stage parents. It's just so sheltered. The creative aspect of acting is one of the more amazing things that I've gotten to experience but everything outside of that is pretty bizarre.

Vice: Was it enough to make you think you might not want to do it anymore?

Max: I think, probably, yeah. Especially once Where the Wild Things Are came out. And that was my first real acting role too. Being thrown in the deep end as a young, pretty vulnerable person. And then you have an experience like that and there's all this stigma around it, back in the "real world". I went to the same school since I was in second grade, through most of high school, and I knew all these kids and they were my friends before and after but there was, coming back, this weird stigma, these weird assumptions that if you're in a film, you're an asshole and you don't exist in a grounded real world way.

Vice: What are your memories of working on that film?

Max: It was really important to Spike that the set was conducive to a child. So we had a million kids on set. All the crew was kind of invited to bring their families. And as a way to kind of understand the vibe that Spike wanted to cultivate, there was always music on set. The Smiths, Cemetery Gates and Big Mouth Strikes Again, all those songs. I have really wonderful nine-year-old memories of romping around on set and that music playing.

Vice: How does one move past an experience like that and into the world of adult acting?

Max: I think you just grow up and learn to be a person. I think one of the biggest learning curves for me, as a result of those experiences and then applying that to the real world, was that it took me a long time to learn to take a compliment. From twelve through to however old, you just kind of shut down. There's this assumption of an agenda. But you grow up and you learn to be a person and you temper the experiences of working in the film world with what people are actually like and you balance that.

Vice: Is there one thing you know now that you wish you knew then?

Max: No, I don't think so. I am the person I am as a result of a lot of those experiences and I love the people that I met and especially those people that I have experiences with. It is what it is. Can't change the past!

Vice: Okay: "My ability to make quick decisions means that I would suit a dangerous job".

Max: [Takes long time to decide answer] I dunno... The idea of being a smokejumper appeals to me.

Vice: What's a smokejumper?

Max: It's a term for the folks in the US that are forest firefighters and jump out of airplanes. That appeals to me.

Vice: What do you think you'd be doing if you weren't acting?

Max: Working in outdoor education probably. Working with kids or being in the outdoors. Or both.

Vice: Do you have a desire to keep acting?

Max: Yeah. I mean, I like doing it and I think creatively it's really cool and the people you get the opportunities to work with are often really wonderful people. It allows me to do other things in my own life. My parents have kind of helped me gain this perspective of it, but I think it's best for me to view it as a hobby. I like acting but I don't think it's healthy to do films back to back.

Vice: What was it about this script?

Max: I love Billy and I love Nick Ryan, the producer. I love Robbie Ryan, our cinematographer and I think, aesthetically, just the, Midwest middle America vibe, that's really cool. And the humour of the script. It's genuine and it has real emotion embedded in it but it's funny! That Fargo humour really appeals to me.

Vice: Do you have a favourite movie?

Max: It changes periodically, of course. Birdman has been one of my favourite films ever. It came out a couple of years ago and I've watched it half a dozen times. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover. I rewatched that pretty recently and remembered how good it was. People keep talking to me about Donnie Darko in relation to this film and I like that one quite a bit.

Vice:"When others are crumbling under pressure, I'm usually the one with a cool head". Agree or disagree?

Max: Yes. I think so.

Vice: When was was the last time you lost your cool?

Max: I've been working on that skill and I think I'm getting pretty good at it. It's been awhile since I've been genuinely, deeply upset about something. One of my favourite things in the world is this scar right here [shows us a fairly impressive scar on his knuckle]. I got it punching walls. It was like the perfect teenage angst motivation. The first time, I was really upset in my house because I had read something about the use of American drone warfare and just how upsetting it was and how a bunch of civilians had just been murdered somewhere in the world. And then the second time was me being upsetting at my parents.

Vice: Alright, last one: "I'm rarely to blame for things going wrong, it's usually the fault of the people around me".

Max: I mean, yeah. But I'll disagree.

Vice: Okay, let's see your results… You're 61% psychopath! "Though your conscience is in the right place, you have a pragmatic streak and generally aren't afraid to do your own dirty work".

Max: I'll take that.

Vice: There's more! "You're no shrinking violet but you're no daredevil either. You generally have a little trouble seeing things from other people's perspectives, but at the same time you're no pushover. Everything in moderation, including moderation, might sum up your approach to life".

Max: I like that. I'll take it!

Credits: Vice.com

Source: https://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/topic/max-records

#vice #max records #john wayne cleaver #I Am Not A Serial Killer #acting #Where The Wild Things Are #movie #boy

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