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totothewolff · 22 days

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Grand Prix Elite Academy (3/10) +18 | professor!Toto x reader fem!futuredriver, sewiss, carlos x reader

Summary: Your life turns 360 degrees after receiving your acceptance letter for the Grand Prix Elite Academy, the most exclusive and prestigious Formula One college designed to shape the future drivers of the motorsport world. You will try to navigate your new life among the Monaco elites, survive the campus dynamics and rivalries between the university faculties, and try to win this year's cup to beat an undefeated Mercedes while trying to befriend your eclectic driver classmates, join the wild Red Bull parties, have a couple of make-outs under the racing circuit benches, lose your v-card and get over that stupid crush you have on professor Toto. Will you make it alive to graduation? Drive to Greatness! Genre: Romance, smut, and comedy. Author's note: This is a Formula One college AU fanfiction set in an elite academy in Monaco, where the F1 Teams are Faculties, their Team Principals are professors, the FIA is the college board, and all the grid drivers are your classmates. You are accepted under a scholarship program that supports young, talented girls, having lots to catch on to after years of putting your racing dreams on hold and becoming the new girl in class, which is always challenging, especially when all of you share one campus. Masterlist: all chapters here

Chapter 3: Know Your Frenemies

When you finally make it back to your dorm room after a physically exhausting day, fuck that new workout class sure is intense!

To your dismay, you find the place in total chaos: expensive-looking designer clothes everywhere and a group of stylish people occupying all the space. Shoes, makeup kits, bags, and more are on all available surfaces.

Who are these people, and what are they doing here? You have NO IDEA.

But, gosh! You only wanted quietness to rest and decompress, not this circus you are surprised with when you open the dorm's entrance door.

Soon, you find out it's Naya's glam squad. They are polishing the details for her upcoming Teen Vogue photoshoot.

The two of you couldn't be more opposite.

One of their team members confused you with a delivery person as you walked in since they ordered takeout, which is rude!

Then Naya introduces you to them, but no one seems to pay you more attention than necessary as you close the door and cross the common ground to your room; not even a nice meeting you! gets exchanged.

Fucking rude, they are the intruders here!

About an hour later, you sense Naya sliding the large glass door to the balcony where you are, the one facing the sea.

You are sitting on one of the patio armchairs, enjoying the nightly fresh ocean breeze, finishing your "Further Math" essay, and enjoying a snack to help you not fall asleep. It indeed was a long day!

—You shouldn't be eating that crap! —Naya scolds you and gives a judging look at your bag of Cheetos as she pulls it out of your hands and into the bin, leaving you with just one in your hand. —If you want to make it into one of the good faculties, you need to stop eating this shit and start getting in shape!

Ouch, that last one hurt.

—Anyways, sorry about the chaos —Naya gives you the world's slightest smile. Human emotions aren't her thing, apparently.

—I get it. You are a superstar, so no worries.

—and I'm sorry about your mom; I lost mine too, in a different way, divorced parents; I never see her —Naya continues.

You get taken out by that comment, and by your clueless expression, she adds: —Torger told me about it —Naya explains. —Also, the part where you called him entitled rich man —a silence break comes along. —Girl!

—He was acting pretty rude!

—Maybe you took it to heart. Of course, it's a delicate subject, but Torger understands. He lost his father in the same way. He is just a very straightforward person!

—It doesn't give him the right. Please don't justify him.

—Maybe you are still too thin-skinned. Would you prefer it if Torger had told you mid-fly that the plane would crash or warned you beforehand? He did what he considered best for you.

—To act like an asshole?

—To be open honest with you. Frankly, it's a rare value around here.

—So I should be thankful to him, then? —you look at Naya and are now annoyed at her, too.

This is none of her business.

—No, I'm just saying you should think more before opening your mouth next time. It's just friendly advice; not all principals are as patient as him; under a scholarship, you don't want a report or get in trouble —Naya finishes the conversation with that before fondly patting your shoulder and informing you she is going to bed.

The breakfast buffet at the cafeteria is the most impressive one you have ever seen. There's just so much food!

Since it's about 6 am, Charles is sleeping, sitting next to you, head on the table, wearing a red dri-fit hoodie, not being hungry at all.

After around fifteen minutes of sharing breakfast with your new friends at the long table, you are impressed to see how much Lewis eats.

—How many more avocados are you going to eat? —you ask him with wide eyes.

Lewis mumbles something, mouth full of food that you interpret as "three more."

—Even his metabolism is fast! —Carlos jokes, finishing his bowl of berries.

As you all catch up about each other's weeks, you tell them about the Toto incident.

—I mean, it is private, isn't it?! Why Naya has to know about it?! It was a private conversation! —you mumble as you violently smash your scrambled eggs around and ask Leandra to pass you the bread before leaving it on the table again. —Why am I eating carbs?! Jesus!

They all look at you with funny expressions. Carlos tries so hard not to laugh. —You look so cute when in a crisis! —he lets you know, smiling fondly at you. Those sweet, damn big Bambi eyes make your mornings better.

—Nothing is private between those two. —Seb lets you know, looking nonchalant as if this is a common thing that happened, and as he bites the slice of avocado Lewis' is offering with his fork to his mouth.

Something clicked in Lewis's head at the sound of Toto's name. Purposely, he ignored the entire conversation and, for sure, the fact that Naya is now part of your life, not precisely by choice.

—Shit, Y/N! Right! What's your student PIN? I'll text you the invite —Lewis asks you suddenly and a bit out loud. Seconds later, after you two exchange information, a new DM pops up in your GPEA app.

It's a link to an IP address website; you enter it, and a fancy and cool as fuck video shoot, professionally shot and styled of Lewis as half a demon and half an angel, shows up along with a digital invite.

Of Saints and Sinners

Which one are you?

A Lewis Hamilton Birthday Party

Saturday 7th, 1:00 am, Buddha-Bar Monte-Carlo

Follow etiquette attached

Admission reserved

RSVP

You download the unique access QR code generated to be admitted to the party. It is attached with an agreement on the dress code for the party and all the logistics info in case you arrive there by yacht, helicopter, or car.

This is a lot! Ordinary people just text you the address and hour of their parties. God, now you are in desperate need of Leandra to hook you up with a nice outfit.

Lewis tells you, in case you need clarification on the website: —My birthday party is next week, and you are invited.

—All his parties are iconic —Leandra adds while refilling her green juice.

—And super exclusive —Lewis takes pride in it. —But I know many people, so don't expect a small gathering!

—People kill for that access QR code he just sent you —Sebastian states.

—Then thank you so much for inviting me! —you say wholeheartedly, and Lewis sweetly smiles back at you.

—Jesus, a lot of me is on display! —you let out as you look at your reflection in the large mirror in Leandra's dorm room while you stare at you behind.

Never in your life have you worn such a short skirt and such high heels. Leandra is thinner than you, so her two-piece white Miu Miu mini-skirt glittery see-through dress is even shorter on you, barely covering your ass, and because you are wearing the tiny matching panties, a lot of skin going on for you.

But she looks so delighted by how you are pulling the outfit.

—What?! You look so good; all boy's eyes will be on you —she reassures you as she continues applying bronzer on your cheeks and doing the final touches.

—Yes, because all of me is out and about!

Your hair looks so voluptuous and shiny, and you are so in love with it! You had no idea it could look like that! The two of you are finishing getting ready for Lewis' party, and "Angel" obviously suits you better.

—Oh, come on! Don't be such a prudest! —by looking at your hesitant and bit insecure look, Lea adds. —But I can give you one of Charles' Rick Owens white pants if you feel more comfortable wearing them on top instead of the skirt; you can slay that look, too.

—Hilarious —you say sarcastically.

—No, seriously, sometimes I wear Charles' pants. He is really petite!

—Oh, good to know in case I have a no-pants crisis!

You both laugh aloud.

—That's it, my masterpiece is complete —she informs you as she slowly steps away and looks you over.

You turn to take a complete look at your outfit, hair, and makeup. You look like a doll in the most flattering and sexy way!

—WOW

—Yeah, wow.

—I feel like I should pay you! I owe you one, bestie.

Leandra waves her refined hand at you, dismissing your comment.

Lea looks like the hottest demon you will not sell but gift your soul to. She is rocking a Vivian Westwood skin-tight, latex, corset mini dress that fits her silhouette perfectly, accentuating her curves, irs bright red with Victorian details, making her boobs look bigger and better than ever, along with iconic platform heels and genuine pearls necklaces; her hair is sleekly style up.

—Let's mother off that party! —she lets out loud and clear as she picks up her purse and starts checking its contents. —CHARLES! WE ARE READY! CHARLIEEE! —no answer came —I hate it when he puts the headphones on; I'm sure he is playing the electric drums again! I will get him!

You two exit her room to their common grounds when you notice you left your power bank at your dorm and want to scream at the clouds.

—FUCK!! Lea, I'm going to my room to pick up my junk!

—WHAT? —she screams at you from afar. —WAIT!

As she returns to your side now with Charles, he looks you up from all angles, nodding his head non-stop. —I approve! —he gives you a thumbs up.

You laugh and blush at this interaction. —I forgot my fucking power bank and didn't charge my phone like the idiot I am; we need to go quickly to my room.

—Sure, that's no problem. We still have time, but move it, people! —Leandra starts pushing you two out and turning off the lights on your way out.

—Let me guess!! Leandra came up with the "Like a Virgin" concept for your outfit. It suits you —Naya tells you from the couch, where she reads a novel in a comfy-looking outfit as you exit your bedroom with a charger and power bank in hand.

Your eyes widen at her words. Shit, she hit a sensible spot. How does she keep doing that?!

She senses you tensing. —Wait! Are you?! Are you still a? Are you a virgin?!

You go red as fuck. Naya looks astounded.

—Oh, I was messing around, I didn't know. I didn't mean it! You look good, Y/N. Well, then, you really need that angel to go down to hell. Have fun!

The desperate need you feel now to ask her, "Hey, you aren't going?" starts to overpower you. Now that she knows an intimate detail about you, you want to know one about hers. But for sure, she already noticed you became close to Lewis; she is not dumb enough to fall for it and spell out what happened.

—I will, thanks. See you!

The limousine Lewis sent to pick up all his GPEA friends stops before you three. You are the last ones to get on it.

The looks everyone gives you as you get in are priceless. Max eyebrows go almost to the roof of the car. —You almost made my nose bleed —he jokes, but he is a bit pinkish on the cheeks. —You look gorgeous.

—You look like a fairy who works as a hooker —Pippa tells you fondly. It's pretty accurate.

To Yuki's amusement, Lando dramatically drops himself on the car floor to pretend to kiss your feet.

Charles throws himself over Max to annoy him and starts messing Max's hair around, acting all stupid before the first round of shots. Dances, alcohol, and Inna's old hits songs turn up the mood of the road trip to Monte Carlo.

When you arrive at the venue, the waiting line of cars for the dropoff point is long, but it goes faster than expected, thanks to the partying inside the limousine.

You already feel a bit tipsy when you all hit the red carpet and start throwing poses and doing group photos.

Then you get the welcoming mezcal shots as one of the hot hostesses greets you.

The place is exotic and chic. The red walls match the décor, which features subtle mixtures of gilded moldings and ancient sculptures. The crowd is on fire as the welcoming DJ's set plays.

You make your way through the many hot-looking angels and devils, hand in hand with Lea, following her around, looking for Lewis to wish him a happy birthday before things spin out of control as the night goes on.

You find him sitting on a lounge sofa near a giant Budha statue with a beautiful blond girl in his lap, instantly making your blood boil, thinking about sweet Sebastian, and you feel you are about to protest when you give a second look and really pay attention.

As soon as she sees you, the girl gets on her feet and welcomes you with a warm hug.

—I'm glad you could make it with such short notice! —Seb greets you.

—Wow, you genuinely are a beautiful angel! No worries! You didn't think I was going to miss this? —you stare at him in awe. His entirely covered-in-crystals embroidered dress is stunning, and the high heels make him look even more like a Victoria's Secret angel. His makeup is on point!

—You look so good that you almost made me feel straight —Seb jokes with you, but he means it.

—Which is a lot to say! —Lewis jokes, reaching you two and wrapping Seb in his arms, placing a hand on his ass. —You look fine —he gestures to you with his hand to spin for him. —Like FINE!

—Happy Birthday! —Leandra and you interrupt him with a hug attack, giving him lots of kisses and throwing around him the golden confetti you brought especially to do this.

—Thank you, my girls! I will meet you later at your table. We still have some things to do, right baby? —Lewis lets you know while placing small and slow kisses on Seb's lips.

You aren't sure if it's sad or honest that the last party you had with these guys was the best party of your life. So naturally, you feel really excited about how the night will unfold.

—Damn, you two look good —Carlos lets out aloud, biting his lip while peeking.

Carlos is bare-chested and wearing a red harness around his shoulders. His skin is glowing, his hair is messy and wet, and his tight satin red pants suit him nicely.

You can't avoid the tingle you feel at how crazy hot he looks.

—Close your mouth —Leandra jokes with you. —Thank you, Carlos. It's the new squats routine that hottie has made me do; speaking of him, have you seen the trainer around? I'm not losing my off-campus shot with him; I have had my eye on him since day one.

—Yes, he is on that table near the exit —he points Lea where. —He came as the porniest angel you could picture.

—Mmm, delicious, those tiny shorts make him justice —Leandra follows the trainer with his gaze before letting you know she will meet you later.

—We are about to light up some in case you want to join us —Carlos offers you, but you politely decline. —I will meet you at our table then —he kisses your cheek very close to your mouth. You don't protest, and you look him walk his way to Charles and Max.

To your good fortune, as soon as you reach your table, you want to throw yourself out the window. Spread there on the curved sofa, to your delight, is Toto wearing a see-through wine red shirt, leaving non to the imagination, with tailored matching red pants and pointy porny shoes.

Good-ass, expensive men's shoes make you weak in the knees.

That devil turns you into a worshiper.

Toto has his eyes set to the side, looking over the party, looking bored by being alone at the table; it seems you two are the first to arrive.

When you start to feel the need to run away, he then turns his head around, probably sensing your eyes on him, and looks straight at you.

You aren't sure if the welcoming mezcal shots are playing tricks on your mind or if he totally scanned your every corner with his eyes.

You feel your cheeks going red as you shyly try to sit in the opposite extreme, trying not to reveal far more of yourself than you should. You try to sit as far away from Toto as possible, which is not that far since it is a small arched sofa.

—Hi —his deep voice greets you as the waiter in charge of your table approaches you two.

—Can I offer you guys something to drink?

Toto, with a devilish smile on his face, grins at the sexy waitress. —We will have whatever she has been drinking before getting here —he then turns to you.

—Ahem —you look at him blankly, a bit taken out.

—You have a reddish tint on your cheeks, but it's different from when you blush, so it must be the alcohol. I like the other better —Toto says.

That makes sense, but at the same time, it doesn't at all, so he pays you attention, huh? —I have been drinking the delicious mezcal you have been offering around —you answer looking directly at the waitress.

—Mezcal, it is, then —Toto addresses her, and she goes to get the bottle. —Feeling more at home now, Y/N?

—Yeah, it's been unbelievable.

—That's good, you little angel with wings and all.

You turn a bit to give him a better look at the golden sparkling mesh wings Pippa gave you. —It was a last-minute touch; my friend Pippa thought the wings suited me better than hers. She said they are more in-

—More innocent looking, yeah, you have that aura on you.

The waiter then returns, placing the bottle of mezcal on the metallic golden coffee table in front of you, along with a plate with tablespoons of salt and a line of small glasses filled with different juices. You have no idea what all that is for.

Toto then slowly slides on the couch to move next to you and explain, closing the distance between you and offering you what looks like concentrated orange juice.

—These are to spice the flavor of the mezcal. You sip them after drinking the mezcal to create a blend on your palate. Try it.

And you do. You start taking the mezcal and the juice a bit too much, and quickly, Toto stops you, placing his hand on your glass, preventing you from going all in.

—It's just a bit! For to be able to taste it! —He chuckles at the funny "Oh! Fuck!" expression you are doing. —Okay, I will do the same one. I will show you how.

Then, you two move on to the following five, having lots of fun.

To Toto's amusement, the last one tasted way too lemony, and acid made you shrug your nose and make faces. He starts laughing at your expense and showing that he is tipsy, too.

You now are walking on drunk territory.

—Stop it —you say, messing around and hitting Toto's bicep with your hand before your senses return and remember Naya's advice. Oh shit!— I'm sorry —you immediately change your tone and get serious, which he instantly picks up.

He comes closer to whisper in your ear. —We are off campus, don't worry —making all the tiny hairs in your neck stand up.

Then, you two move to the salts.

He places a tiny bit on the back of your hand. —Lick it —he instructs you, and you obey, feeling his eyes burning with every move of your tongue; you can't avoid it and dare to gaze straight at him as you slowly lick the spices.

It feels too intimate.

Then, completely surprising you, he licks the remaining salts out of your hand, his wet tongue making contact with your soft skin so that you don't waste them, and he is able to taste them, too.

And now it is your turn to do so, as he offers you the remaining salts in his hand. You feel Toto's warm skin under your tongue, and you can sense a bit of his knuckles and veins as you slowly slide, letting all the flavors into your system.

Suddenly, the lights dim, pinching your bubble and signaling the start of the much-anticipated live performance.

The guests quickly hush, moving their attention to the stage, where Lewis emerges from laser lights and a cloud of white smoke.

Wearing a dazzling white suit embroidered with rhinestones that seem to glow in the spotlight while wearing a smirk on his face, his brown eyes scan the crowd before grabbing the mic and screaming: —Let's dance this fucker off! —Lewis starts to jump energetically around while Gesaffelstein starts playing his set, making everyone go wild.

—Is that who I think it is? —Mick points out.

—What the fuck is Nico doing here? No way Lewis invited him —Lance answers.

—No way he sneaked in —Mick snaps back.

—You are right, but I can't believe it.

—What? That he had the nerve to show up dressed like an angel? —Mick jokes while rolling his eyes to the blonde.

Carlos comes to your table to steal you to the dance floor. Dancing the mezcal away makes you go back to your senses. As a new track unfolds, and you two move around, you look back at your table and notice Toto enjoying your moves from afar since lots of you is on display with every cadence.

When the group finally gathers, Leandra proudly lets you know she got fucked the hardest she has ever been fuck; the trainer was as good as she expected him to be. For sure, the entire bathroom, if not the whole club, heard her moan.

Then everyone starts to pass around a glass with an almost neon blue liquor, to which everyone sips a bit; you go for it, too.

After that you aren't sure how the rest of the night proceeded.

Still, you know you had a blast, as flashes of you dancing with Mick on top of the sofa, trying Seb's long hair blonde wig in the girl's bathroom while doing poses and snapping pictures with him in the mirror, Carlos telling you you make the hottest blonde, losing a heel somewhere, taking a shot that was placed between Pipa's tits, breaking a fight between two girls over Lando and more happenings come back to you.

At some point in the night, all goes blurry and kaleidoscopic; until you feel a warm embrace, a strong pair of arms picking up your body and feeling it pressured against a firm body as a warm touch in your ass holds your skirt in place, carrying you into the limousine where Charles and Leandra are as unconscious as you.

And Toto's dark eyes, that's the last thing you remember.

The following day, you all feel like trash.

You and Leandra are on Charles' bed, the three of you gathered there with the AC on to the lowest setting and the blackout curtains closed, like vampires rejoicing in the cold, wet dark.

Several empty bottles of electrolytes are lying on the floor in your attempts to hydrate again to feel better.

After sleeping, only God knows how many hours, you hear your stomach roar violently. —We should order takeout —you say in the roughest voice ever.

—Tai? —Lea proposes.

—Like noodles, or what?

As soon as you say that, Charles gets on his feet at the speed of light and storms off to the bathroom, barely making it. You two overhear him puking the life out of him.

Poor baby.

After spending Sunday on total repair, Monday feels like a brutal awakening, back to the routine and classes.

But something feels different this time; as you cross the gardens and navigate the hallways, you sense a lot of gazes set on you on your way to the main hall, making you feel paranoid.

"Okay, you need to calm down, girl."

But when you notice the whispering, you know something is not okay, and you find out what it is as soon as you reach your locker.

A sign welcomes you: "Is the sad rag looking for a sugar daddy? That's not such angelic behavior for this virgin." The sign is printed along with a crop-out photo of you licking Toto's hand. The picture is zoomed in, so there are no faces for the moment, just hands and tiny bits of your costume from that night.

You start to hyperventilate and panic and jump at the contact on your shoulder. You sense Sebastian next to you, reaching closer to comfort you.

—Everything is going to be okay. Easy. Breathe —Seb softly tells you.

When you two turn around to leave for class, you notice the couple of blondes standing by the end of the hallway, looking at you.

—It's always them, isn't it? —you let out between tears and rage.

—Yes —it's all Sebastian lets out, throwing daggers at them.

Great! Now, the entire academy knows you are a sad virgin who longs for an older man. Awesome.

Thank you for your patience and for sticking around! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. By the way, I edited a lot of the previous chapters! If you feel like reading them again, I strongly suggest it. A couple of things changed, but nothing too major, tho. Sorry! This story needed a bit of an edit.

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helena-thessaloniki · 1 year

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Welp. Sharing my Top Ten Favorite Films is probably giving more identifying information about my irl self than if I posted my last name, birthday, and mailing address, but here you have it. 🥰 Nominated by my dear friend @a-slut-for-smut 🖤

After careful thought and consideration, these are indeed ranked in order. heh

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

“So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?”

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

One day, I will write the essay that nobody asked for about this one. A real study into fate, destiny, and the role of our own personal choices. Brilliant storytelling: I’m endlessly inspired by what happens in the beginning coming full circle for the surprise twist at the end. Especially with how it’s seamlessly interwoven with the anti-hero’s redemption arc and sacrifice. Of course, there’s also a compelling female villain (Eros, Goddess of Chaos) and a strong, feminine female lead-- y’know, grit and grace-- with real autonomy and agency (Marina). Even the “handsome prince” is not a stereotype, but a deconstruction of toxic masculinity. The bromance and charming ensemble cast. The gorgeous scenery. Oh, how I could go on and on.

Rogue One

“What chance do we have? The question is ‘what choice.’ Run, hide, plead for mercy, scatter your forces: you give way to an enemy this evil with this much power and you condemn the galaxy to an eternity of submission. The time to fight is now!”

Be still my heart. The chosen family vibes of six truly unique characters, all so vulnerable, determined and brave in their own ways, learning to trust and lean on each other, risking it all to save the galaxy... For me, this further revolutionized storytelling from the singular hero who saves the day to the everyday people who do. And, you can really see why this was one of the most expensive films to make of all time. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. Lastly, I know SW is inundating everything now, but I’m sorry not sorry, let’s keep being anti-Imperialist, anti-fascist, yeah?

“Rebellions are built on hope.”

Troy

“We men are wretched things.”

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

“A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day!”

Stand by Me

“Wish the hell I was your dad! You wouldn't be goin' around talkin' about takin' these stupid shop courses if I was. It's like God gave you something, man, all those stories you can make up. And He said, ‘This is what we got for ya, kid. Try not to lose it.’ Kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look out for them. And if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe I should.”

Brother Bear

Little Women (2019)

“I can't get over my disappointment at being a girl.”

Dune (2021)

I’m not sure if Dune will hold up as the years go on, but I went back to see it in theatres four times and I wish desperately to see it again for the first time. They don’t make many (big blockbuster) movies this grave and grandiose anymore. The music, visuals, and somber tone was unlike anything I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Constantine

“I guess God has a plan for all of us.”

“God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.”

Honorable mentions to Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, The Italian Job, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Mad Max: Fury Road, Inception, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, and my ultimate guilty pleasure, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Nominating @warbarbie @stalactice @known-as-naya @levi4mikasa @infinitelystrangemachinex @queenofangts @quinnxra @onigiri-dorkk @ally147writes & whomever wants to reflect and share with this fun 🥰

#favorite films

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bowtiesnmusicals · 1 year

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Here is my recap of the Jane Lynch in "Ask Me Anything!" episode of the podcast.

This is going to be a lightening round. Kevin said it should be no problem since Jane hosts the Weakest Link.

How much was improvised and how much was in the script? Jane said all in the script and very little improvised.

Was there a favorite track suit? A shiny navy blue one with neon pink.

Do you remember Super Bass? Yes! She doesn't remember the lyrics. She does remember the outfit and that Darren was in that scene with her. Jenna says they shot it on a Saturday. They didn't generally work on Saturday but did a lot towards the end of the show.

What was filming Vogue like? It took forever. Ryan directed it so everything was meticulously done. A lot of the original set pieces were at Paramount. Lou copied Jane's wardrobe was copied from the actual Madonna wardrobe. It was fun. Ryan had the monitor of what was being filmed an a monitor of the original music video. They basically remade it frame for frame.

Do you have a favorite Sue Sylvester rant? I am no longer going to carry picture id, poeple should know who I am. Also, this reminds me of the couple that bought my house. I salted the backyard so nothing could grow there for a hundred years. Why? They wanted me to pay their closing costs. Jenna says it feels relevant. Kevin said when they were watching the show back for the first time for the other podcast Sue's lines felt relevant. There was so much stuff Sue would say. They had a segment of did Sue say it or Trump. Sue is funny on tv but not in real life.

Who was your favorite guest star? Carol Burnett. Everyone was so good. Kristin Chenoweth. Stephen Tobolowsky (Sandy Ryerson) the character was so inappropriate but he knocked it out of the park. Some of the things he did probably wouldn't be allowed. Ryan gets bored easily and then moves on to something else. Jane said they should have kept Stephen's character.

How did it feel getting to work with Michael Hitchcock again? Fantastic, just the best. He was the choir director for the deaf choir and a writer on Glee.

Are people surprised when they meet you and realize you are nice and nothing like Sue? Jane says she doesn't think anybody expects the person in real life to be like they are on television. People generally get the separation.

Are Sue and Sue happily married? Yes. It was rough going in the first couple of years but they found piece. They work very well together and are great partners.

Jane had some wild storylines. They had Sue run for Congress and ended it with Sue holding a newspaper that says Sylvester Loses. It became a part of the island of lost storylines.

Did she take home any tracksuits? She took home 4 of them. She gave them to charities things and they were raffled off. She sent one of them to a fan on twitter who lost weight so she could fit in a track suit. She sent Jane a before and after picture and Jane sent her a tracksuit.

Did you take anything from set? She didn't take anything. Kevin took his wheelchair. Jenna took a clock. Darren took the sound proofing from the choir room. (I think Chord took some too.) They are very expensive.

Are there any songs you wish Sue could have sang? Is That All Their Is? She wanted it if she had won the seat in Congress. It would have cut to her dancing with Coach Beiste. It would be so funny.

They just watched the episode with Sue and Matt doing the swing dancing. Jane hated the dancing. Kevin said it was complicated. Jane said it was so beyond her skill and she worked so hard. The I'm In Heaven ballroom dance with Matt was fun.

There have been a lot of questions asking for favorite memory of working with Naya. They got to work a lot together. Sue called Santana a lot of things especially with her boobs. She liked the scene where she got to basically ask why she would get a boob job. Santana got to rip Sue a new one in the Cory Tribute episode. She actually threw Jane into the wall. No one has talked to Sue like that. There was such in inherent goodness in Naya and Santana.

Ryan is smart and has a gift for seeing people's Achilles heal. He could see what people were ashamed of and things that made them wonderful. He would highlight all of it. Jenna said Ryan could see right through them.

Jenna loves the scene where Sue makes Brittany and Santana take out their fake boob cutlets and and smack themselves with them. There was also the I want you to smell your armpits. That is the smell of failure and its stinking up my office. Santana runs out of the office because Sue takes away her tanning privileges. Sue had the cheerleading uniforms sent to France to be dry cleaned. Ian is absolutely insane.

Do you think Sue is a hero or a villain? She is a hero, she's not a villain. She's outwardly a villain. She could be mean. The great thing about Glee was that no one took it to heart. She had crazy nicknames for everyone like wheels and porcelain. She would never let it get too far and would apologize. she was a defender and a warrior that was flawed. She was so protective of herself and people and her tender heart that she was meaner then she needed to be. Jane will never play an outright villain. She will always find something or someway to humanize them.

What was your favorite nickname for a character? Frankenteen for Cory. He was so tall and goofy. He didn't fit in his body. He was gangly and like a puppy. He was like a lab puppy. She also liked Asian 1 and Asian 2. Kevin liked that Sue never called Emma by her name. Jane did improvise one time when Emma was wearing a bow and said that bow is insane.

Do you have a favorite episode or season? Season 1.

If Ryan Murphy wanted to do a Sue Sylvester spin-off, would you do it? Jane said she would do it in a second. In a hot minute.

Naya played the scene in the Cory tribute episode beautifully. She was one of those people that could look at the script in the morning and be off book and play it perfectly. Kevin could never understand how she could do that.

Do you think your portrayal of Sue evolved or changed over the seasons as the character became more iconic? Jane said even in season 1 she knew there had to be a reason Sue was so mean. She came up with Sue being bullied in high school. We then got Sue's sister and Becky which deepened it for Jane. They always kept her mean but they gave her more redemptive, heroic, courageous, and honest moments that kind of balanced things out.

Jane said her last scene in the auditorium was hard.

Was there a Glee character you were like in high school? No, not really. Jenna said she was Rachel. Jane flew under the radar. She was also the class clown but kept herself safe. Kevin said he was exactly the same. She figured out she was gay when she was in high school. They joked that she caught the gay.

Jane is the best. She's glad they are doing this show.

#and that's what you really missed #atwyrm #jenna ushkowitz #kevin mchale #jane lynch #podcast #ama #ask me anything

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darthmarrsgf · 1 year

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💢🌌🎭🎵📎💧❄️🌪💚 (anger, milky way, masks, music note, paper clip, droplet, snowflake, tornado, green heart). Okay friend, this is for any OC(s!!) your heart desires! I know went nuts with the choices so feel free to pick your favorites 💖😬

omg omg ok ty so much for the ask and sorry it took me a second to think through everything bc i loveeee to ramble!! i picked my faves for my inquisitor/darth imperius, unayah (who btw is really slaying kotfe with the color crystal you gave me! thank you again!!):

• 🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Not so much inspiration I guess, but part of why I gravitate toward the Inquisitor storyline so much is because I really like characters who’ve been betrayed or taken advantage of people they thought they could trust (esp people who were in a position of authority over them), and how they grow and assert their independence from that. So pretty much from the beginning, I knew that because of her background, Naya would be pretty skeptical and independent. I have a really hard time picking the mean options in video games lol so I also kind of knew all along she would end up mostly light side but I think that’s consistent with her character—she’s always been more motivated by freedom than power. The power is nice if it’s on offer but she’s not going to lose herself to attain it.

• 🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Definitely. It’s a survival mechanism, and one she takes pretty seriously, as she knows that any perceived weakness is dangerous when dealing with other Sith. I think she definitely shields the kind of impression she gives in the Force to hide her use/acceptance of the light side and doesn’t drop that for anyone (except Ashara, to gain her trust, and Lana, because she trusts her) until well after she’s escaped the Empire and established a life as a member of the Alliance. In terms of general demeanor, she definitely lets her cold and snarky side rule when she’s dealing with other Sith. Andronikos sees the softest and most thoughtful sides of her, though he quickly realizes the snark is 24/7 and not an act, which is one of the things that initially drew him to her.

• 🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

I didn’t expect to have such a hard time with this one!!! I’m not sure what kind of music she would be into, but I think the #1 song I associate with her is La Paura del Buio by Måneskin, especially the chorus (I don’t speak Italian and it also obvi sounds better not translated but you get the gist):

And so take me, bite me, strip me of everything I still won't be afraid of the dark When I'll be on the ground, shattered I still won't be afraid of the dark And so spit on me, tear my clothes off of me I still won't be afraid of the dark And so buy me, sell me, do everything to me You're the only one afraid of the dark Not us, not us, not me, me

• 📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

She was very close to Darth Marr and was gutted by the death of someone she saw as a parental figure. She definitely felt his death in the Force when it happened. (Ok maybe I should’ve put this under angst headcanon lol)

• 💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Omg ok I hate myself for this but I think about it a lot… Naya isn’t my canon Outlander but I did have an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone for a while so I wrote a little bit about it—she’d had a baby a few months before Arcann iced her so the reunion with Andronikos and her daughter would have been really fraught and emotional in that alternate, angsty universe.

• ❄️ SNOWFLAKE - do people consider them cold? if so, what made them this way?

People who don’t know her on a personal level definitely consider her cold, but not thoughtless—she’s always scrutinizing different angles to a problem to find an advantage. Those close to her know that the coldness is mostly a front, and if she does carry it into their interactions, it’s because she’s trying to cover for something that’s actually troubling her.

• 🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

Ooh this is so interesting. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I did actually stop playing through her class story for a bit to make a sorc (before the combat style changes lol) and I thought that new character was going to be Thee Inquisitor but once I switched back to finish things up with Naya, I ended up really getting attached to her!

#ask meme #oc: unayah #swtor

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 2 years

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@sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek replied to your post “the thought of this glee docu makes me feel...”:

Ew what? Hadn't heard about that. I guess tragedy has become the new sensation for tv. Like that netflix show about the serial killer Dahmer being super popular (and the family of the victims not wanting that show to be made)

Yeah that. It is very gross. Imagine being Josey and people are gonna make a sensational docu series exploring on why and how you watched your mum drown! So fun! Or a victim of Mark’s, who has to see how this is being shown to a wider audience! Someone pointed out that these creators have used witness statements without people’s consent for their documentaries.

Like... I am so upset about this. This is so not needed. I am all for the tea and that stuff, but there are some topics that are off-limit. Stuff like crunch hours or mismanagment? Now that is Glee tea. The racism on set? Oh spill it! Or their first shitty plane. Heck yeah! I would actually love to hear more about what it was like working on set, because that wasn’t all rosy either.

But csa, domestic abuse (if they also decided to “delve into” Blake’s entire situation yikes), drug addiction and drowning are not cute. It’s not even Glee. It’s about people who worked on Glee. Especially since the 3 people who are deceased have loved ones and victims (damnit Mark). And yeah, these tragedy people love to claim that it’s to “give people a voice” or they do it “in respect of the loved ones and victims” while they exploit and cash in on the trauma that the deaths have caused. I can imagine that the cast, crew, loved ones and victims don’t want to relive learning about the deaths and what happened.

And even if people want to learn more about these topics... the tea is right fucking there. There is a reason Chris’s off-hand comment about Lea is getting a lot of press. The cast isn’t shying away from talking about the bad shit. Jenna, Kevin and Adam went in depth about how traumatising it was to lose Cory in a Showmance episode. Kevin pointed out that even years later he couldn’t watch Jessie’s Girl because it was just too much. Amber called the deaths a form of trauma bonding in a recent podcast. She even briefly mentioned Mark, which for obvious reasons is very off-limits to talk about. So the cast is occassionally talking about the very bad stuff, but they actually experienced it and they also know what they want to share and what not to share. The thought of an external party “exposing” what it was like without having any direct connection to it, is very icky and gross.

Heck, Cory’s mum did a huge interview 5 years after Cory’s death. Naya wrote in lengths about his death in her book. It is out there. The cast/crew etc. doesn’t owe us shit, so they shared what they can/want and that is fine as long it is coming from them and they do it in a respectful manner. Especially re: Mark situation. I get that the best way to deal with that is to just not fucking talk about that at all. Let the people involved keep that. They don’t have to speak about it.

#replies #sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek

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briarbeets-kittypeats · 1 year

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I assigned my Quest of the Spider characters pokemon. Pokemon types are based on what magic they use (Fairy for light, Normal for changelings)

Dulsie: Kanto Raichu!! It's the perfect combination of cute and tough. Also, in the 90s anime, Raichu's best attack is Thunder Punch, and Dulsie would absolutely spam it.

Cera: Steenee for now. She's cute, she's sweet, and she's got a lot of potential.

Aeran: Snubbull for now. Bulldogs are associated with British royalty, and he's the next village lord. But dogs are also sweet, loyal, and can be kind of dumb even if they're technically very smart. Like Aeran.

Sky: swablu for now. Beautiful singing voice, looks cute until you have to tango with her magic, but she's kind of unsure of herself and her place in her family.

Naya: Drizzile for now. Our resident sharp shooter, she's kind of in an awkward phase right now, trying to find her place in her family outside of her twin (Sky) and their older sibling (Phaelan).

Zieryk: Meowstic, specifically male for obvious reasons as well as the fact that male Meowstic focuses on defense while female Meowstic is more offensive. Male Meowstic also has more of an understated design that works well with Zieryk's tendencie to fade into the background.

Leivarre: Golosipod. Okay, so she was actually really hard to figure out, because none of the spider pokemon fit her beyond the aesthetic of having the 8 legs and big butts. You know. Like spiders. Lol, but I had to give her a bug type and I went with Golosipod, because even though it's strong, its ability makes it look like kind of a coward, and Leivarre is definitely a coward in the beginning, even if she tries to compensate through her dry wit.

Judeiras: Shiny Thievul. I lowkey associate him with Sly Cooper, because he was once a petty thief and that's how he and Cas met in the first place.

Caspkar: Aggron. He's tough as nails and pretty stoic on the outside. But very much a big softie. Just bad at showing it, especially after losing his big brother (Orik, Dulsie's dad).

#adventure #fantasy #quest of the spider #dulsie stryke #drama #ocs #aeran willows #judeiras #leivarre #cera storm #sky sparkes #naya sparkes #zieryk tempest #pokemon

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chriscolfernews · 4 years

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I’m not sure anyone on Earth could give Naya Rivera the tribute she deserves.

In fact, the process of losing her has been such a nightmare, I find myself wondering if Naya was even real or if she was just a dream all along. How could a human being be that talented, that hilarious and that beautiful at once? How could one person be responsible for so much joy and be the subject of so many wonderful memories?

When Naya sang, you could feel her soul resonating through your own. Her voice would break your heart in one chorus, only to rebuild it in the next. Watching her perform was like watching magic unfold before your eyes. Naya didn’t just sing a song. She brought it to life. And with every note, she exposed the old sage living inside her young body.

As an actress, Naya could tell a whole story with one expression. It didn’t matter how outrageous the plot was, she spoke with so much authenticity, she made you believe every word she said, and often, you’d forget she was acting at all. Her heroic and groundbreaking portrayal of Santana Lopez on “Glee” inspired millions of young people around the world, especially in the LGBTQIA community, and it will be treasured for generations to come.

Naya also had a superhuman ability to memorize scripts. With one glance, she would know all her lines and yours — which came in handy when you acted alongside her. Sometimes, I’d become so lost in Naya’s performance, I’d forget I was in the scene with her. Even when her character was tearing mine to shreds, I couldn’t help but respect how brilliantly she delivered the insults.

When someone is as talented as Naya, saying she was also one of the funniest and most quotable people that I’ve ever met sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s the absolute truth. Naya could defuse a bomb with a witty remark. Her comebacks and quips were legendary, and I used to follow her around set, jotting down everything she said into my phone.

On particularly rough days of filming, you might find her outside enjoying a cigarette in her bright red cheerleading uniform. She would raise an invisible glass and say, “To being role models!” or “City of dreams, huh?”

Whenever the “Glee” cast commiserated about the demanding shooting schedule, Naya would instantly cheer us up with a line like, “Gosh, this internship blows!” or “Guys, we know what we signed up for. The first person to guess the mole gets the cash.”

Even after an eighteen-hour day of singing and dancing, when mustering a smile felt impossible, Naya could make you laugh out loud. Once, during a heated exchange between an actor and a director, I’ll never forget her turning to me with a cheeky grin and asking, “Is this a bad time to tell someone the DVD player in my trailer isn’t working?”

As a friend, you could talk to her about anything. She was the cool older sister you went to for advice, to blow off steam, or to get the hottest take on the latest gossip. Just being in Naya’s presence made you feel protected and regardless of the situation, you knew she’d have your back. She was never afraid to stand up to authority, she always called out mistreatment where she saw it and she always told you the truth — even when it was hard to hear.

For as long as I’ve known Naya, the thing she wanted most in life was to be a mother. She spent hours telling us what she was going to name her kids, how she was going to dress them and all the free babysitting she’d bamboozle out of us. When her son Josey was born in 2015, it was like a missing piece of Naya had finally arrived. Their connection was magnetic, their affection was radiant and I’ve never seen a person look happier than when Naya gushed over her little boy.

Being a mom was perhaps Naya’s greatest talent of all, and as her final moments proved, Naya was an extraordinary mother until the very end.

Naya leaves behind a void that only Naya herself could fill. To have a friend like her, even briefly, is to be blessed beyond belief. She is a shining example of the impact a person can have when one lives fearlessly. Her loss is a tragic reminder to celebrate every moment we possibly can with the people we love because the only thing we know for certain about life is how fragile it can be.

To quote Naya herself, “No matter the year, circumstance, or strife, everyday you’re alive is a blessing. make the most of today and every day you are given. Tomorrow is not promised.”

#chris colfer #naya rivera

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tuiyla · 2 years

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Santana is more needy or at least that's my headcanon lol, so she gets into these moods when she will not let go of Brittany and just be really sappy.

The girl just wants love!!! It’s so interesting that it’s not even just Brittany that she’s touchy with, ofc it’s Naya in the background but within Glee universe it’s canon, like her jumping in Quinn arms at Nationals, leaning into Mercedes touch for comfort after they lose the duo comp, kissing Artie’s cheek and sitting with him in his wheelchair, always holding Rachel’s hand in s4+5a etcccc. It’s so cute.

She does, she really does 😔 But when she gets it it's 😍✨

Yeah I think a lot of touchiness like with Artie is Naya shining through in the background but it does work for Santana's character. I especially like leaning into Mercedes and constantly holding hands with Rachel, because of course I would like those parts lol.

It's interesting how closed off she can be emotionally but when she's comfortable around someone she's touching them all the time and I love that you point out that it's not just Brittany. Because once again, Santana's story is about learning to open up to others as well. And also yeah it's just very cute lol like her hugging Finn in We Are Young? Even though, story-wise, I'd rather she was slapping him again I still think it's cute because it's Cory and Naya and there'll forever be an alternate version of Glee in my head where Finntana are actually friends.

#and also holding rachel's hand in we are young that bit is muy importante #anon #ask #anonymous #santana lopez #needy bitch i'm telling you #glee #and yet another reason why brittana are compatible because britt doesn't mind the neediness at all #she'll carry santana in her arms all day if she has to #glee asks #santana asks

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luke-skywalker · 4 years

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Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after!

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick) he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone.

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW.

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me.

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every creators here I want my edits to get notes.

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it.

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular.

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I finally forgot about it.

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then.

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore.

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally.

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that.

In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke. Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset from the movie and no, just stop dude. Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee and in my head it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work. I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something.

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one. it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is.

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow.

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radramblog · 3 years

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Adventures in the Forgotten Realms Commanders

Due to circumstances I won’t get into at time of writing (don’t worry it’s mostly good) I’ve been forced, dragged over, and required to actually fucking read all the new Commanders from Magic’s newest set, Adventures in the Forgotten Realms. I’ve only recently gotten deeper into D&D, I don’t know who like any of these clowns are (except Tiamat, obviously).

Also due to circmstances beyond my control (that are less good but understandable) my Commander night has been called off and I don’t get to play with my shiny new Cabal Coffers. It’s a bit sad, and it means I want to get my fix elsewhere.

What better way than to combine these two and just write about every AFR ‘mander? That’ll pass the time. There’s like, what, 30? I can manage that if I’m quick. Let’s get into it.

(No I’m not doing the precon cards I haven’t been staring at those all week)

Acererak the Archlich

The way I see this guy going is one of two things. You either do infinite Venture by making him free (not too hard in Black, what with Heartless Summoning, Carnival of Souls, etc.) and have a probably fine combo commander. For the record, infinite Venture does kill your opponents flat-out, BUT only because of Lost Mine of Phandelver’s Dark Pool room, and only if their life totals are lower than your deck count because you’re going to be drawing it in the process. That shouldn’t be an issue, but you never know.

The other option is just playing him fairly, which requires completing Tomb of Annihilation, and you just have a kinda mid Stax commander I guess? Eh.

Asmodeus the Archfiend

This Devil is clearly trying to echo prior Demons like Griselbrand and Vilis, but I’m not sure it’s going to be successful- if only because the mana investment means it’s a lot slower. And if he gets killed when you don’t have B up? Blown the fuck out. Add in no evasion and this is a God I’m happy to pass on.

Barrowin of Clan Undurr

Okay so this is kind of like Alesha, in less colours and more mana, if you manage to complete a dungeon. And there aren’t that many dungeon cards, so you’re probably playing some bad ones to make up for it. This is definitely a 99’er in that Esper Dungeon precon, and certainly not a commander.

Bruenor Battlehammer

In an attempt to solve one of Boros’s problems, Bruenor saves you a bunch of mana on equips and makes shit like Argentum Armor substantially more playable. He also gets kinda fuckin beefy with even just a few on him, hitting that 7 no matter what the first one is and 11 not long after. As far as Boros Boys go, you can do a lot worse!

Delina, Wild Mage

Didn’t we just get this card? Like, in C21? This is harder to make busted than Rionya, but it is cheaper and works with legends, so fair call. There’s not enough “advantage” dice mechanics in Red, certainly, so you can’t go probability-mad with this, but it’s pretty decent value. It also happens to be a Shaman, so it works with that new MH2 card, and that’s fun.

Drizzt Do’Urden

This guy has a lot of potential, and for added bonus, he has a cat! A lot of the cards that are good in this are the ones that are good in, say, Varolz, but honestly if you just want to play Selesnya Beatsticks then Drizzt might be the way to go. Can’t play him in Cats, though, unless you want to lose Kaheera, so.

Ebondeath, Dracolich

Yeah I don’t think this one was for this format? I mean it’s super recursive, and probably a really good candidate for a Homicidal Seclusion/Deadly Wanderings deck. I think we need one or two more of that effect to make it actually playable, but I still like the idea.

Wait why isn’t this fucker a skeleton? WoTC Pls.

Farideh, Devil’s Chosen

Look, I tried. I really tried, but there really just isn’t enough to make Farideh work yet. At least in black-border, as I think she’s probably one of the best silver-bordered commanders printed in a minute. A shame, because I sure do enjoy Tieflings, and the effect is legitimately solid if you can trigger it consistently.

Grazilaxx, Illithid Scholar

While I imagine it’s a perfectly solid commander in their own right, basically Mono-Blue Edric but not group-huggy, where this is going to really shine is in Ninja decks. Holy shit, this is so nutty for those. Honestly, ETB decks in general are going to like them, because the choice of either taking damage and letting them draw or letting them reuse a powerful ETB is pretty tough. I like everything about this, except the art, because I’m not into tentacles no thank you.

Gretchen Titchwillow

When Strixhaven came out, I thought Zimone was going to be the most boring Simic commander we’d ever see. But here comes Gretchen to outdo them.

Look, Simic can do good designs. Even at uncommon- Imoti, Moritte, and Eutropia are all super interesting in my opinion. But Simic being just draw and lands has become a meme, and I’m sick of it. Extremely so, for three main reasons- one, it’s boring, two, it’s been all over the place since WoTC decided +1/+1 counters being their only theme was bad (and, fair,) and three, it’s good.

Gretchen is the most boring card in the entire set, in my opinion, and I sure hope she isn’t a cool character in the lore because that’d be such a waste.

Hama Pashar, Ruin Seeker

There are 21 venture cards in Azorius, and some of them are even good. Most of the Room effects are pretty minor, however, save for some of the endgame ones (and copying Cradle of the Death God is pointless, Atropal is legendary), so copying them isn’t actually a huge amount of value. I’d still play this in Esper Venture, but I don’t think I’d build around it.

Icingdeath, Frost Tyrant

While this clearly isn’t built for this format, equipping this dragon with it’s own tongue is kind of a hilarious idea. You could do worse for Voltron decks, I guess, and in the 99 it’s both a thing to slap equipment on and an equipment itself- like a flying (and weaker) Halvar. Eh? I just wish the token wasn’t legendary- like yeah Flavour but this effect gets a lot worse when you can’t recur it. It’s rare that someone goes out of their way to kill an equipment that isn’t super busted, so Frost Tongue is probably hanging around for a while anyway.

Man, it feels awful if they bolt this one, huh?

Inferno of the Star Mounts

Okay this is fucking cool. It’s a Shivan Dragon with haste, and that ability is probably pretty feasible to activate- keep in mind Braid of Fire and Neheb and the like are in the format- and combined with a swing will just kill someone. In fact, when I saw this, my brain immediately started looking for ways to shrink it, just so you can get multiple 20-damage wallops in a turn.

…there aren’t very many. But still! Even if you can’t get to 20 multiple times in a turn, getting to 21 once or twice is pretty good!

Iymrith, Desert Doom

The fourth of our dragon cycle, because hey, it is Dungeons and Dragons. Iymrith reads basically identical to Dragonlord Ojutai, but without White- and for that kinda control deck, White is pretty nice to have. Iymrith can draw you more cards than Ojutai, but only if you’re low, in a blue deck, in Commander, so. With that said, a deck that just loads this with cheap auras/equipment might actually be pretty good, since they can load you back up on cards and keep the Voltron flowing, so, maybe? I’d honestly consider it if I didn’t already have Mono-blue Voltron as a deck.

Kalain, Reclusive Painter

Okay this is super interesting. He is, unfortunately kinda fighting with the RB precon face, Prosper, for the new RB treasure deck, but for an uncommon there’s a fair bit going on here.

Actually, wait, is there? I thought about this for another couple seconds, and I don’t think this card actually does that much. It’s one treasure, and it benefits you a little bit for doing something you frankly don’t really want to be burning treasures on? Like it probably plays a mean Marionette Master, but everyone does that.

There really aren’t any other RB Artifact commanders, though, aside from Prosper or a partner deck. So ehhhh? Why are more people playing this than, like, Bruenor?

Krydle of Baldur’s Gate

That’s a lot of words that don’t actually do a whole lot. I like the second ability, but Commander and especially Dimir aren’t hurting for evasion options. This is probably pretty good in Rogues, but that deck has a de facto best commander now, so. If this came out like, five years ago, it’d be kinda hype, but not anymore.

As an aside, I do kinda hate it when they just print a Tribal commander (or anything like this) that’s just miles and miles better than every other commander for that archetype, like with Anowon 2 or Edgar Markov or Anje Falkenrath. Wait….those are all vampires…….

Minsc, Beloved Ranger

Shivam Bhatt did a fucking excellent breakdown of this character’s lore on twitter, which I recommend reading- the history of D&D’s lore is fucking wild. As it is, this seems like a pretty fun Naya commander- there’s plenty of creatures that get way better if you make them large, even if targeting Boo seems kinda pointless.

Also, I need someone to explain to me why the “Top Cards” on EDHREC for this guy right now are, like, all combo cards.

WAIT NO FIGURED IT OUT, unlike Marath he doesn’t say X can’t be 0 so you can use him as a sac outlet, for fucks sake people.

Nadaar, Selfless Paladin

Hey remember all the things I said about the WB and WU dungeon cards? I mean, at least this guy could theoretically complete the dungeon on his own, but Mono-White is even more restrictive for what you could get, so. At least he draws a card every so often. And that anthem isn’t even remotely worth it, at all.

Old Gnawbone

Green eating up more of the colour pie, I see. Now to be fair, I’ve pondered Mono-Green artifacts for a while, and this is probably a better leader for that list than Oviya Pashiri (but…I like her….), but beyond that I’m not sure what you’re doing with this. I guess people playing Sakiko because they think she’s actually good and not because they like her have a new commander.

This is fuckbusted in the 99 of like a million decks though. So there’s that.

Orcus, Prince of Undeath

That…is so much mana. In a colour combo not especially great at garnering lots of it. The second ability scales fairly well, and it is a decent body on its own, but I don’t think this is going to be a particularly popular commander. Like, you have to pump 6 mana into this just to get a 2-drop back or to Infest the board? And that’s just the first time you cast it? Nahhhhh.

Oswald Fiddlebender

Artifact Pod? Yeah, okay, sure, that seems reasonable at two mana. Keeping this mono-white was a good idea, I can’t imagine how insane this’d be in blue. I’m no artifacts expert, I’m no pod expert, but this has to be busted, right? Like surely there’s an easy way to infinite this? Someone with more brains figure it out for me, but either way it’s still a bunch of value and also a tutor in the zone.

(convert two random 2-mana rocks or wellsprings into Basalt Monolith/Rings of Brighthearth, okay that’s a good start)

Shessra, Death’s Whisper

…ehhhhhhh. Okay, so, it’s a significantly worse Deathreap ritual in the command zone, and also a terrible Lure effect. Along with the flavour words on this taking up much more space than necessary, making the effects look much bigger and better than they are. Would it have hurt to give this deathtouch? Make it trigger on every end step? Lure more than once? I dunno, this just seems painfully weak to me. We’ve had an overabundance of Golgari commanders recently, to be fair- MH2 had 3, and before that was the enemy focused Strixhaven/C21, but that’s no excuse for this to be such trash- just look at Bruenor.

Targ Nar, Demon-Fang Gnoll

I hope you like Gnolls, because that’s gotta be the only reason you’re playing this. Hello Tuya Bearclaw/Syr Faren/im sure a bunch of other boring commanders, this is another one of you. This looks so bad next to the Gruul precon (which is apparently somehow the first Gruul precon) and, well, every other RG general from the past couple years (save, again, Tuya Bearclaw). Even the fuckin Walking Dead guy is cooler than this.

The Tarrasque

Disappointment part one over here is at time of writing the only commander from this set with a fat zero decks. Considering there were like 10 commanders at that number when I last checked, people are clearly trying out the set, so The Tarrasque being abandoned is particularly sad. It just…doesn’t do anything? It’s the fucking Tarrasque, and it doesn’t have trample, or a fear ability, or anything? Ward 10 is cute, basically being hexproof unless they have infinite mana (or an uncounterable spell), but really? I want more than this idiot for my 9 fucking mana commander. Ugh.

Tiamat

I believe I’ve talked about Tiamat before, when she got spoiled, but I can’t be arsed finding that and dredging it up. I’m still disappointed, basically, especially since I’ve now read her statblock and know what she actually does. They could’ve given her a cool ability per head like Cromat, or had her recur like she does in the lore, or something. I genuinely would have preferred if she was an Emrakul-style massive game-ender (with a no-reanimation no bullshit clause) than this. How utterly meh.

Trelasarra, Moon Dancer

This is literally just Ajani’s Pridemate but Selesnya and in the zone. Also you scry. Sure? It does also have two relevant creature types I guess, and they’d probably be good in a Soul Sisters deck. But it’s not like Selesnya was hurting for Lifegain commanders- this is basically just Lathiel but much leaner and voltron-ier.

Varis, Silverymoon Ranger

Wait you can’t even play this in Esper Venture, fuck. With Flash effects, you can start clearing dungeons well quick enough, but like, for what, a Wolf? And these defensive keywords aren’t getting you anywhere either. Blegh.

Side note- I’m a big fan of tokens, and collecting various token arts, and I was extremely disappointed when I found out that the Wolf token from this set is just…the Zendikar one again? They didn’t reuse the 3/3 Angel or the Goblin or even the Zombie, why just that one? Something must have happened behind the scenes here.

Also….Silverymoon? That sounds like shit.

Volo, Guide to Monsters

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. As much as Anti-Tribal sounds fun, I’m pretty sure this just turns into generic Simic value. Copying things is fun, I suppose, though not working with Legends hurts. I also appreciate that this supports playing a bunch of weirdo cards or ones that have fallen out of favor because they have more unique creature types- Anphin Mutineer, Acidic Slime, and Diluvian Primordial all seem like a lot of power here.

That said, is anyone ever letting this fucker stick around for a turn?

Xanathar, Guild Kingpin

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. This card is completely awful to play in webcam-commander, so it’s a good thing we’re all getting vaccinated, right?

So this is UB Gonti, I guess? And also unironically not the worst combo commander, since it stops people from playing spells on your turn in a very White-like effect. Add in some Lantern-style effects and you can get a real stew going with this guy. He looks like a lot of fun- and I’m sure he’ll end up popular as a result. Well, that and being on the cover of an expansion book gets you a lot of notoriety.

Zalto, Fire Giant Duke

Our final card, our final Venture card, and the only red one. So, uh, there are literally 4 other Venture cards in mono-red, and at least one of them is complete dogshit, so I can’t imagine this being very good. Also, it’s an Enrage trigger on a 3 toughness 5-drop? Far from ideal. I guess it’s a 7 power trampler for 5, but that’s kind of faint praise to damn with. Maybe if someone makes 5C Venture, or if Giant/Barbarian tribal feel lacking, then this guy can find a home.

Shoutout to the exactly one person who built this deck, by the way. I see you, Elder Demon Highlander, and your 100ish views on your deck tech.

And that’s the lot of them. Honestly, a lot more misses than hits, but that’s perfectly okay by me. 30 legends in a set is a lot, not to mention the 12 from the precons, and we’ve had so many actively playable legends recently that I’m fine with, like, half of these being trash. Trash is more fun anyway! Get yourself a fuckin Varis, why not.

Okay but seriously though who’s biting the bullet and building Tarrasque first? It’s not going to be me.

#ramble #mtg #commander #edh #mtgafr #adventures in the forgotten realms

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oh-mymessymind · 4 years

Text

loss

July 13th, 2013.

My best friend at the time texted me. It was a simple message, it read, “They just announced that Cory Monteith was found dead. I’m sorry hun.”

A short message, a simple message, but one that left me messed up for the next day and a half.

Last month, on the exact same day, July 13th, 2020, my phone notified me of a news article. The headline: “Glee actress Naya Rivera dies in a tragic boating accident”. That loss I felt exactly seven years earlier came back to me in that moment, however I wasn’t messed up for as long this time.

In the years between Cory and Naya’s death, I have experienced the death of many celebrities that I was either a fan of, or that I looked up to; Alan Rickman, Robin Williams, Daniel Kyre, Anton Yelchin, Luke Perry, Stan Lee. There’s probably more I’m forgetting, but these are the deaths that hit me the hardest.

After Naya’s death, I debated on writing an opinion piece regarding the conversation that continues to be brought up when people heavily mourn the passing of a celebrity; why do people mourn the way they do? Why do people mourn as though they themselves knew the person who passed? Why do we get so upset over people we don’t know? The answers to those questions are very simple, and many people understand them by now, so I decided against writing the piece.

That was, until the announcement of the passing of Chadwick Boseman just three days ago.

The passing of Chadwick hit me harder than the passing of Naya Rivera, which I still find a little strange because I’ve been following Naya since the first season of Glee, over ten years ago. Truthfully, I only know Chadwick as T’Challa/Black Panther, a role he took on in 2016, only four years ago. But, after many days to process Chadwick’s death and to think it all over, I’ve come to the realization that Chadwick’s death was so unexpected to me. Naya had been missing for nearly a week when her body was recovered and she was declared dead, Chadwick’s death came out of nowhere.

That’s one reason I think we mourn celebrities - we never expect them to pass away. Death is a natural part of life, it’s something that happens, but sometimes we view celebrities as people who are immortal. Especially when you have someone like Betty White, who is nearly 100 years old, but who is still around and kicking as though she was still in her 40s or 50s, or someone like the Queen, who just seems to be living forever. It’s hard to picture someone you look up to passing away at all, but to have them pass away at a young age is a whole other situation.

Cory Monteith was 30 years old when he passed away from an overdose. 30 is not the age you would prepare to lose someone, at least for me it wasn’t at the time. When I heard he passed, it was just so hard to comprehend. Of course, overdoses happen. He struggled with drug addiction, I was well aware of that. But my head couldn’t wrap around the fact that he was gone so young.

Chadwick Boseman was 43 when he passed away due to stage four colon cancer, something he has been battling for four years. That’s another reason that I am so stricken by his death. Chadwick continued on his career without ever letting it slip that he was fighting for his life. He filmed four, four, superhero movies while going through treatments for his cancel. He filmed a total of seven movies in between being diagnosed and his passing (not counting Captain America: Civil War and Message from the King as those were filmed before his diagnosis). On top of that, he still made time for fans, most notably he made time to visit children who were also struggling with cancer while he himself was keeping such a dark secret.

When your hero passes away, it’s hard to fathom that you’ll never see any new content from them. It’s hard to process the fact that you’ll never meet them, to tell them how much they mean to you and what they’ve done for you. And that, over all else, is why people mourn the loss of celebrities as though they were losing their own family members or friends.

To everyone who has lost someone, whether it’s an idol, a family member, a friend, or just someone you had one or two good experiences with, just know my heart is with you. To the families of those who we have lost this year, last year, the year before, and so on and so forth, our hearts are with you.

To Chadwick Boseman, thank you.

To Naya Rivera, thank you.

To Cory Monteith, thank you.

To the idols who have changed someone’s life but were lost before they could be told, we thank you.

May you rest in peace.

#chadwick boseman #naya rivera #cory monteith #loss #rip #rest in peace

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jennyboom21 · 4 years

Note

I feel like Folklore put a lid on both Kaylor AND Swiftgron. Overall, it feels like regretfully reminiscing about fucking up a good thing for something else, but that turned sour. Leaving a kind of wishful contrition. The album is more or less acknowledging that there were two great loves of Taylor’s 20s, and they’re both over, and she has regrets, but she’s okay. The 1 is at the beginning probably because it should be at the end. It’s the acceptance after the purging.

Here’s the thing about Swiftgron; they didn’t get closure due to the nature of their alleged break up. I’ve long maintained that Taylor and Dianna appeared to be working on a reconciliation in late 2013, but 1.) Taylor didn’t trust herself with Dianna 2.) She met Karlie and got swept up in a whirlwind romance.

A month to the day after KissGate, Taylor liked a Swiftie post that featured a GIF of Dianna, saying what would she do if acting didn’t work out cries in NYD. During 2016, when it looked like Kaylor would rise, Taylor liked depressing as heck posts when Dianna’s engagement then wedding were announced. The only noticeable reaction we got from Taylor’s end after Karlie’s engagement (Nashville trip included) and wedding was performing in Foxboro with Hayley Kiyoko. While there are some Gaylors that think Taylor and Dianna had a physical affair, the opinions are quite varied. Some think something happened, physically (probably), some think they had an emotional affair (highly likely, especially with 2017). Taylor and Dianna started out as best friends, with what I assumed to not be boundaries. So not only did Taylor lose her girlfriend, she lost an alleged fiancee, and best friend.

Dianna is also allegedly going through a lot. She appears to be separated from her husband, her father is no longer vocal (multiple sclerosis), her and Molly appear to be on good terms but she’s got a boyfriend that’s Winston’s bandmate, and Naya’s death just happened.

While I don’t think Swiftgron are back on, I can’t deny that something was going on between them, recently, not to mention they read as the type of couple where “Sex Too Bomb”. Not to mention we had the game of chicken between Taylor and Brie Larson, when all of a sudden that stopped, and Brie was all up being emo despite her bearding with a guy who “dated” Maria Bello. Then in the fall of 2019, Dianna’s ring started to be absent, and the “Swiftgron Mating Call”, the BBC rendition of “Holy Ground”. Then SNL happened.

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rebeccaheyman · 3 years

Text

Review: How to Fail at Flirting by Denise Williams

How to Fail at Flirting / Denise Williams / Berkley / contemporary romance

CW: This book contains depictions of intimate partner violence (IPV) that might be triggering for some readers.

How to Fail at Flirting is a charming, hope-filled, steamy standalone romance, perfect for fans of Kate Clayborn, Andie J Christopher and Alisha Rai.

After escaping an abusive relationship, Naya spends three years in relative isolation, only seeing her two closest friends and generally losing herself in her work as a college professor. The night she meets Jake, she’s determined to step outside of her comfort zone, but never expects the blue-eyed stranger to be more than a one-night stand. Spoiler alert: Jake is more than a one-night stand.

I loved watching these two characters together; yes, they have a strong connection from their first meeting, but it never feels like insta-love. Best of all, Naya and Jake make each other laugh—and their nerdy, cheeseball, pun-tastic humor was genuinely funny and so darn cute.

Both MCs bring complex personal histories to the table, but in Naya’s case, the past — in the shape of her abusive ex — is especially haunting. How can a person whose ghosts refuse to be exorcised find the internal reserves of bravery and resilience to love again? In Naya, Williams explores the complex mental and emotional landscape created by, and in response to, IPV.

I’m a total Denise Williams believer after this novel, and am eagerly awaiting her next release in November (looks like another standalone that features a tertiary character from FAIL as the lead MMC).

#book review #how to fail at flirting #berkley publishing #romance

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werewolfoverlord12 · 1 year

Text

Shadows in Crystal part 2

Seraphina glanced over as the white portal opened and her sister and children stepped through. She nodded to the gathered Spark Givers, and most vanished with a return nod.

Only five remained: Zendikar, a genderless elemental entity composed of stone and vine; Ikoria, a female creature composed of reptilian, avian and mammalian features with glittering crystals decorating her clothes and skin; Ravnica, an androgynous humanoid wearing a blue suit, hooded jacket and black gloves and boots; Kamigawa, a male humanoid wearing both ninja attire and a demon mask to cover the draconic features beneath; and Naya Allara.

“What’s going on?” Amelia asked. “A strike team attempted to destroy the Realmbreaker Tree Elesh Norn grew,” she looked over as Kaldheim, a male viking wearing furs and leather breechers, stepped out of the house, “needless to say, it didn’t go well.” “Elspeth took the Sylex somewhere else, hopefully with a plan in mind, but I’ve sent Bant to disable to the device and return them to Sanctuary.” Naya Allara said. “I received another message from my future self,” Seraphina said, “we have a chance. But there’s a risk.” “What?” Alistair asked. “You’re mother will have to absorb the souls of Mirrodin’s dead,” Zendikar said, “and use it to dismantle everything that remains in New Phyrexia.” Her children gasped, “Mom, you said that could kill you! That’s why you avoid places like Innistrad.” Jazal said. Seraphina nodded, “I know… but I can see an end to Yawgmoth’s Dreams. And I have a reason to come back.” She looked at her three children, each in turn, “I will come back.” A device on Alistair’s belt began to beep; he pressed a button on the side and after a moment of static, “Come in. This is Urubrask of Sanctuary. Come in.” “Alistair of Haven here. What’s wrong?” “Vorinclex are still on Phyrexia.” “What about Jin gataxtias and Sheoldred?” Seraphina asked. Her son’s exchanged a look, “Long story, but he’s being held at Sanctuary… in a test tube. Sheoldred ran when we captured Jin, so I’m not sure where she is.” Jazal said. Alistair pressed the button again, “Where is he?” “Hunter’s Maze. He’s strong enough I don’t think you and Jazal can handle it alone. Is Amelia there?” “I’m here,” she looked back at her mother, “What do you need us to do?” “I’ll explain when you get here. Bring Kaldheim; Sanctuary is a lot safer than his plane right now.” Urubrask responded. “Wait,” Ravnica said, “how did you know about our plans?” “Kamigawa trusts me and keeps me in the loop.” The Spark Givers glanced at Kamigawa who held up one of the pendants strapped across his chest; on closer inspection by Ravnica, the Spark Giver groaned, “It’s Urubrask’s seal.” Alistair blinked, “Really? You STILL don’t trust him?” Ravnica sighed, “Call it paranoia, but it’s difficult for us to trust a PHYREXIAN.” “Former Yawgmothian Phyrexian, thank you.” Urubrask said. “Enough!” Ikoria said, “I have a kid to return home thanks, and as long as he doesn’t stab us in the back, who cares where he started out at?” She looked at Ravnica, “why would YOU complain about having help getting back two of your Walkers?” “Because I want them HOME and I’m terrified of trusting anyone but you lot to do it!” “We’ll get them home, Ravnica,” Naya Allara said, “but we can’t turn away any assistance. Especially now.” Ravnica sighed, “… Fine. But if he betrays us and I lose either of my walkers, I know enough Rakdos Cult members who would LOVE to make him a main attraction.” “Fair enough.” Urubrask said, “now, we should get started.”

****

As Tyvar, Kaya and Keito prepared to defend themselves from the army of Phyrexians, and Elesh Norn raised her perfect claws above her head… two vines shot out from either side of the white Praetor and wrapped around Nissa and Nihiri’s waists, wrenching them both backwards into the darkness before Norn could react. As they turned, two white portals appeared beneath Vraska and Jace; Norn spun as the two walkers vanished, then a scream as an arm wrapped around Tamyo’s waist and pulled her through another portal. Norn flinched as Lukka’s prescience vanished from New Phyrexia. Enraged, Norn turned towards the uncompelted planeswalkers… only to be greeted by a lone female figure. A silver furred nactyl, wearing a simple silver dress and shawl covering her head. “Who are you?” Elesh Norn asked. Seraphina looked up, “The Angel of Death, coming for you, Elesh Norn.”

*************

Kaya, Tyvar and Keito gasped as all three were pulled backwards into a strange gray room by a large, muscular male wearing furs and covered in runes.

Kaya was the first to rise, but it was Tyvar who rose to stop her, “Wait!” He stood up and stumbled across to the man, “Kaldheim?”

The male embraced him tightly, “My boy, it’s good to finally see you in the flesh.”

Tyvar returned the hug, before stepping back, “What’s going on? Why did you move us here?”

“The planes are awake and we’re reclaiming our walkers. One of our more powerful members is using the dead of Mirrodin to destroy all that Elesh Norn created. Can’t have you three ending up as casualities.” Kaldheim said.

Kaya glanced around; the room was large and filled with various hospital beds, seperation screens and various nurses of various races running around, preparing bandages, antiseptics, syringes, pills and tools.

A female doctor, a kaladesh elf, entered and immediately called over two others,

“Kaya? Keito? Tyvar?” she asked.

The three nodded; “Please come with me. You need to be looked over to make sure none of you have been infected as well as to treat any general injuries in case you’re needed on the front lines soon.”

Kaldheim chuckled, “I wouldn’t argue with her. She’s Kaladesh’s granddaughter, and she’s not to be crossed.”

Kaldheim watched as they were pulled away to their own beds, before he felt a tap on his elbow; he turned and glanced down at the dwarven messenger, “Yes?”

“Urubrask has suggested you return to your plane and close the omenpath there. The gods might be able to hold off the Phyrexians until Seraphina can disable the tree, but there’s no reason to risk another loss.”

Kaldheim’s eyes went dark at the thought of his daughter, Esika… “Keep an eye on them while I’m gone.” He said, vanishing through a white portal.

Urubrask ran into the room seconds later, “Lizzy, do we have another medical bay for the evacuees?”

“West wing, my twin and her team are already there and they’re already aware of the situation. Just tell your crew not to make any sudden moves. Or Bite."

“Thank you.” Urubrask said, holding up a walkee-talkee, “you’re clear to come through. No destructive stuff though, we’re here to be helped and to make sure the infection doesn’t spread. No biting either, mini-me.” The response was a series of tiny growls and snarls; “yeah, yeah. Don’t start and just ask Slobad for a piece of steel already.”

As he walked back to his console he switched channels, “Alistair, come in.”

“Alistair of Haven here. What’s up?”

“I found Sheoldred. She’s hiding in the Hunter’s Maze. Think you can send me two Preators?”

Alistair gave a deep gutteral chuckle, “I think my sister just…” Loud crashing followed, “Gotta go. I have a beacon on me for her too, so no worries.”

Urubrask sighed, “Insane Living. Why do I want to join them so badly?”

******

@delta-hexagon

#magic the gathering #Urubrask #Kaldheim #Ravnica #Zendikar #Ikoria #Kamigawa #Fanfic

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