#equality in relationships doesn't have to mean splitting things 50/50 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dipolardruid · 1 year

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How will yan!stepmother take the fact that the reader is in a relationship and ready to move in with her soulmate? (oh my god I love your work so much, thanks for answering so many questions, I really appreciate it ♥️)

Really!? Thank you it means a lot to me that you enjoy my works, for asks I wish I actually got more I usually sometimes take a whole day or two before posting since I write them almost immediately once I see them.

Depending on circumstance she'd intervene and try to put a stop to it.

If it's straight out of highschool she'd try to convince you anyway possible to stay home and go to college first then think about moving in with someone who you don't even know will last.

At least here at home you can ensure you'll save up and she'll even pay any tuition but you have to stay home, she'll even let you see your lover in peace, that's unless their no good which to Betra can be a long list of things, what she considers no good are things such as being a highschool dropout, college dropout ,smokers or drinkers, minimum paying job with no signs of wanting to improve their position etc.

If they treat you good that's nice but she also wants to be at peace knowing that if an emergency were to ever happen that they're equipped to help you at a moments notice, so really she would fight tooth and nail to keep you from leaving the only one that can get her to back off is your father and even that he will have to hold her back.

If he doesn't she's jumping on the hood of the car, she doesn't actually plan to cling on and will let go if you continued on driving, In a last ditch effort she will even offer to pay your lovers tuiton if it means they won't take you and that's if they want to actually go to college .

If your lover accepts the deal and goes to college and graduates with amazing scores and gets a great job even going as far to show that they could take care of you and offer luxury items then she'd hesitantly let you go but you better call her or she will be kicking down your door.

On the other hand if you've already graduated college and have a job along with your lover depending if you're the provider or not could also affect things.

If you're providing she wants to know if they know to cook, clean and show support when needed, however if you're the one to stay home it'd be as shown previously, they have to have a great job, treat you good and make sure you want for nothing.

Even if you both work which Betra highly prefers she expects your partner to treat as an equal such as splitting chores 50/50, bills etc she sees no reason why two people in a partnership should give more work to one another if they both provide.

Besides that Betra is willing to let you go if she knows you're gonna be loved and cared for by your partner she might even end up actually really liking them.

If they ever do anything to hurt you whether that's cheating, name calling or anything more severe there will be a freak accident to happen so expect her to always be watching out for you.

Request are open!

#my oc character #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere oc #female yandere x reader #female yandere #yandere female oc #platonic yandere #yandere mother #yandere step mother #yandere female #Betra

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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years

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what do you think of the 50/50 rule in romantic relationships? personally, it makes no fucking sense to me.

ive not personally come across this but i guess you mean the concept of like doing everything perfectly equally all the time? and like i dont agree... i have a chronic illness so in physical stuff i usually need more than i can give and thats just a reality of it.. also this is pertinent to all kinds of things but like for different people things take different amounts of effort so something thats 50/50 in effort might not LOOK 50/50 in output. one example even was I saw a lady recently talking about how her nd her partner earn really different salaries, so when they pay for stuff they split it 50/50 as a percentage of their income rather than a scenario where its supposedly "equal" but one person is throwing pocket change and the other is digging deep in their purse.

so like obviously overall one person shouldnt just be giving all the time and the other never does, and hopefully in most cases the overall picture is around 50/50 when it evens out, but i think thats kind of an obvious nothing sentiment of like yeah you shouldn't be running around after someone who gives you nothing, so it doesn't really need to be said. but I think it's for each person to decide what they need & what they can give and ultimately like if both ppls needs are being met, its not a problem if one person always cooks bc the other is a horrible cook and finds it way harder or whatever.

and it does seem like kind of a viewpoint that ignores stuff like disability, and also gaps in privilege (or financial positions) like if one of you is marginalised in a way the other isn't then often the other has extra responsibility to address the imbalance and fight for your partner because of an imbalance in the world as a whole rather than just ur relationship (bc i hate the idea that romantic relationships exist in their own bubble away from everything else).

also like you make everyone around you miserable trying to obsess over that and being the guy who's like ok you owe me 10p for eating one of my apples. if it comes to be a pattern where one person is being exploited then theres an issue but in most cases it's a much better environment to be in where everyone shares freely within their ability and you don't worry about calculating every last thing

#ask #anon

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hardyorange · 10 months

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Liveblogging the fascinating (not) family reunion weekend I am merely serving as the getaway driver for:

We're in Asheville, NC, which is absolutely beautiful, with mountains surrounding even the aggressively suburban area where we're staying; I've been once before, but we really only stopped for coffee and a short walk in the downtown area then; we're from Atlanta, so this was a nearly four hour drive for us

We've had to bring one of our three cats along, bc she gets insulin injections twice a day, and that was more than what our friends were really comfortable doing; the hotel technically only allows dogs, but the desk agent said they'd look the other way this once

The family that is reunioning belongs to my roommate, B; B and I have known each other for close to ten years now, and lived together for... three years or so now? and B isn't comfortable with driving more than about 30 minutes to places they're already familiar with, hence my involvement both as chauffeur and, genuinely, get away driver if things don't go well

B is related to these people via their dad, who is dead, and they're glad he's dead; he was also persona non grata among these people when he was alive, not just for his personality but also bc he did things like drink and be poor, which are equally unacceptable to these people

We got off to a rough start, with a flat tire of course appearing overnight, but we still got here in time to get the cat settled in the room before dinner, and on the whole it was a fine drive with me pointing at mountains and rocks and otherwise turning into my mom

We did only just get settled in at the hotel before driving to dinner, which was going to be at Olive Garden until it was discovered that the wait time there for a group our size was nearly two hours, so we popped across the street to a place called "Cornerstone", which has a mix of basically all American cuisine with servings the size of your head

B rode over with their aunt, who sends B paper coupons in the mail and suggested we simply leave the cat in the car the whole weekend!

...yeah

Once here, they sat all the spouses at a separate table, which was smaller so I got to sit at the table with the "siblings", all of whom are in their 50's; this split has resulted in much walking back and forth to decide what everyone was splitting with each other, the way that most people that have been married for a couple decades do

Of course, this means that the four people who know each other the least and only have someone else's family in common must now make conversation for over an hour, but they do have the benefit of having been dragged along to these for, again, decades

The other people at the "blood related" table are one uncle's Dominican wife who is half his age and her middle school aged son from a previous relationship, both of whom moved here only two years ago; the wife is lovely but doesn't speak or understand much English, and we can't speak or understand much Spanish, which has been her entire life since she moved to America

I know three people's names: coupon aunt, her husband, and the uncle with the ethically dubious relationship; I think they are also the only people who know my name... maybe

The previous family reunion that B attended (missing the one that was held on a cruise ship 😬) included the aunts and uncles and the cousins B's age repeatedly not telling them plans in time for them to get ready, and then straight up leaving them behind, for things ranging from hikes to entire meals; hence, my involvement: if B runs behind bc of these people not communicating, I'll just drive them wherever they need to be, and if they start acting like assholes (which they have also done in the past), then we'll pop the beast back in her carrier and head home!

Of course, they also managed to make dinner conflict with the demon beast's shot (8 and 8, always), so I simply asked for boxes with my meal at dinner, ate the tastiest bits at the table, and then wrapped the rest up and brought it back to the hotel with me to administer the shot on time, which is a win to me bc I got to skip all the awkward conversations!

(The fuzzy piss machine wasn't too keen on the hotel room and all its smells at first, but she's since discovered that leaping from bed to bed is the most fun she's had in ages, plus she got fed at the usual time, so perhaps this okay after all.)

We're here until Sunday (it's Thursday night now), so we'll see how the rest of the reunion goes

#idt #story tiem

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stickyphilosopherconnoisseur · 1 year

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greenhappyseed · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 317: Thoughts & comparisons part 2 - THE OLD MAN AND THE KID

As mentioned in Part 1, I'm splitting my thoughts on Chapter 317 into 3 posts: this one about Deku and All Might (part 2), plus separate posts on the hero brain trust and the media (part 1) and the hero killer Stain (part 3).

* * * * * * * * * *

This part of the chapter was an emotional sucker punch and gave me strong "Gift of the Magi" vibes. All Might is trying to protect his boy by following him, and Deku is trying to protect his idol by saying goodbye. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee of safety for anyone right now, so their "gifts" of protection are unusable. All Might isn't safe whether All Might follows Deku or stays behind. Same for Deku -- his loved ones aren't safe whether he accepts their help or not. It's the harsh reality of what AFO does. The real thing that All Might and Deku need to focus on isn't giving each other the "gift" of safety, but on how strong their bond is.

The main stumbling block is that Deku STILL idolizes All Might (as All Might recognized a few chapters ago). As the adult, it was on All Might to speak up, but he didn't because he's scared to disappoint his boy. He already knows the pain of disappointing a fanboy, so this would take it to a whole new level. But if he really wants to keep Izuku in his life, he MUST risk it and tell the kid all the things he wishes someone had told him. As I wrote previously (between Ch 315-16) it's maddening because we know All Might is capable of having this kind of frank talk with Izuku -- he did it all the way back in Ch 2. All Might saw Izuku overworking himself and modified the workout plan to moderate Izuku's extreme behavior, which would have prevented Izuku from reaching his ultimate goal if left unchecked. So yeah, All Might knows better, and knows he can’t stand idly by while his kid makes a massive deadly mistake. When a child doesn’t have the capacity to help themselves and the consequences are serious, an adult HAS to step in and help ASAP. Talk to the kid, talk to the kid’s friends/teachers, talk to professionals. Keep going until your kid gets the help they need, because even if a parent/guardian can’t help directly, it’s their responsibility to find that help for their kid. Haven’t we learned anything from the lost children in the League of Villains?

Meanwhile, Deku doesn't see All Might as a human who loves Izuku Midoriya. I think, in part due to his being bullied and his innate tendency to not take himself into account, he sees All Might's devotion to him as part of a predecessor-successor relationship. Deku will struggle as long as he sees "All Might" as an ideal and not the human in front of him. (Admittedly, I thought the HPSC storyline might go here and disclose All Might’s awareness of some “grey” missions, causing Deku to look at his mentor through a different lens.) But even now, Deku is trying to have an "I AM HERE" moment so All Might is proud of his successor, but fails to realize All Might is ALREADY PROUD (in part because All Might hasn't vocalized it in a way that Deku can truly hear it). The "You don't look back at me anymore..." in context is immediately followed up by this glowing Dadmight moment:

It only becomes a sad moment in retrospect as All Might realizes (1) he didn't really tell Deku explicitly how proud he was often enough; and (2) the full weight of what it means to nurture a child towards independence (and that his boy is just like him, and is heading towards the same fate as him....)

While I definitely think Bakugo will knock some sense into Deku, I still think All Might is the only one that can truly “release” Deku from these burdens, especially the ones related to the “Symbol of Peace” and the Shimura family that are tied directly to All Might. We see this in Deku’s callbacks:

Nana in the vestige world sobbing over her mistake in giving up Kotaro, saying she and Gran Torino were wrong, and testing Deku’s resolve to save Shigaraki. Juxtaposed with Gran Torino saying, "I should have made the kill...sorry...don't be so rigid. Killing can be another way to save someone," and Shigaraki screaming in emotional pain, “I don’t care if you understand. That’s what makes us heroes and villains!” It’s not just AFO — it’s the weight of generations and broken families on Deku’s shoulders. It’s All Might’s failure to save Shigaraki earlier that has become Deku’s problem now.

Post-USJ Deku meeting with All Might, talking about the first time he used OFA without breaking himself, and All Might pressuring Deku to become the Symbol of Peace. Even though All Might no longer feels that way, and SO MUCH has happened since then, he never clearly said so to Deku, and Deku keeps that weight on himself. The past never dies.

Deku is overwhelmed and destined for a poor decision that will hurt someone or himself, which would definitely play into the media's (and AFO's) hands. First, note the flashback inception with Deku recalling the post-USJ All Might meeting, which itself contains a flashback to Thirteen lecturing about how uncontrolled quirks can kill.

Second, the image of the defeated assassin is downright ominous, with the way All Might is shown above Deku's shoulder like a conscience [Edit: see @codenamesazanka's post here for a Spinner parallel!!] and the way the villain is tied up with his head hanging back, mouth open, eyes rolled back…. Deku and All Might are in shadow, and the villain is in the light…. no real attempt to talk to or understand the villain, just what he knows of AFO……SO MUCH POWER in a volatile teenager with too much responsibility and too few physical and emotional reserves. This won't end well.

Ok, time to bring the real Dadmight pain. All Might dives to save Midoriya and falls. The only other time he’s fallen flat on the ground like that is when he dove to save the random lady during the Cider House incident (which we got in the anime last week). In that fight, All Might needed a guardian gremlin to save him from falling debris. Hopefully that means he’ll go to UA and find young Bakugo soon, and he won't do something dumb and sacrificial in the meantime. WHO SAVES THE (EX-) HEROES?

All Might is a genuinely good person with good intentions, and he drove himself into the ground to help others, but he’s NOT a god. He’s not infallible or omniscient. He has tunnel vision from pursing the same mission from age 14 to, uh, 50-something, and is learning how to function as a "normal" adult. He never asked for help before, and in fact, considered it shameful (even in Kamino). He needs to follow the advice he was going to give to Deku, and reach out to others to save his little boy and himself. He’s still very much capable of inspiring others, even if he needs to rest sometimes. And with that, we cut to Stain, an extremist who believes in self-sacrifice and idolizes prime All Might. Cue Part 3...

A few other points:

Nobody in this arc (including Deku) seems to be using All Might as a resource based on his decades of experience with the media OR with AFO, and it really bothers me. Why is All Might excluded from the brain trust? They’re acting like All Might is useless because he’s quirkless and no longer a ranked hero, but he's still got his brain and his memories. Are Endeavor, Hawks, and Mt Lady really going to chat with Edgeshot and sort it all out??? Will Jeanist's fiber puns stop AFO??? Ugh. This is why hero society as we know it needs to be radically reworked; these top heroes are misusing resources and NOT TALKING to people who might actually have useful info. Does a "hero" need to wear a costume or hold a license to use their brain?

Will anyone tell Inko???? I posted before about this chapter's reference to All Might promising her that he’ll keep Deku safe. But she generally only appears after Deku gets a big advancement of some sort, so I don't know if she'll pop up soon...although I feel like she might need to? (E.g., my pet theory is that we only get her note in the hospital after the forest raid because Deku saved Kota but failed to save Bakugo.) Who else has "lifted up" All Might except Izuku, Inko, and Aizawa -- and Aizawa is probably not in a place to do heavy emotional labor right now???

Others have noted the outreached hand parallels (PAIN!) so I won’t belabor that. BUT look at All Might’s hand, how it is first outstretched and then starting to curl as he realizes he can’t reach Deku in time. Also, how small and frail All Might's hand looks as it curls up. He's normally drawn with huge hands (as big as Deku’s head) so to see his hands look equal in size to Deku’s shows Deku’s growth. Also, contrast this set of hands moving apart with how we saw hands moving together at Kamino, where All Might’s fighting inspired fearlessness. Hopefully All Might can “fight” here too, and inspire the next generation to to amazing things.

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