#elk hide
Photo
Around the year 1900, this elk hide was painted by Cotsiogo (Cadzi Cody) of the Eastern Shoshone people. It harks back to pre-reservation times with scenes of the Wolf and Sun Dances, a buffalo hunt, women butchering buffalo, and warriors on horseback returning to camp.
Prior to the 1860s, when Native people were forced onto reservations by the U.S. government so white settlers could occupy tribal lands, the vast Shoshone territory encompassed what is now southeastern California, central and eastern Nevada, northwestern Utah, southern Idaho, and western Wyoming.
See this hide on the 5th floor as you enter the American Art galleries just beyond the ongoing land acknowledgement statement, which recognizes that the Museum is part of the unceded, ancestral homeland of the Lenape (Delaware) people.
📷 Cotsiogo (Cadzi Cody) (Shoshone, 1866-1912). Painted Elk Hide, ca. 1900. Elk hide, pigment, 81 x 78 in. (205.7 x 198.1 cm). Brooklyn Museum, Dick S. Ramsay Fund, 64.13. Creative Commons-BY (Photo: Brooklyn Museum)
#BkMAmericanArt#Brooklyn Museum#brooklyn#museum#art#indigenous#indigeneous art#indigenous peoples' day#hide#elk hide#cotsiogo#eastern shoshone#shoshone
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A Kutchin beaded tunic
Of smoky moose or elk hide, fringed along the lower perimeter and shoulders, trade cloth panels of abstract floral designs down the font, across the back shoulders, about the bottom and on the sleeves.
length 40in
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#Drum making#Native pride#Elk hide#Hole punch#Hammer time#Charcoal dye#Lego-daddy-lxxiv#Me#Mine#Personal
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i just realized something
[ID: Two video game screenshots. The first one is Julian Devorak from The Arcana. The second one is Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3. Both look delighted. End ID.]
These.... same character.
#look at these disasters pretending to be suave prettybois#bg3#the arcana#elk text#julian would absolutely badly hide he's a vampire then flop and fail and be awkward as hell admitting it in whatever capacity#astarion MIGHT have enough Wis to not return to a town that wants him dead and admit to a murder he doesn't remember. might.
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Currently have a callus on my toe and am favoring one foot because of that. Thought about how in the wild I’d be targeted by predators for that, so I tried to walk on it normally to see if I could hide it if I had needed to. Apparently, I am Louis from Beastars. This reminded me of when a friend of mine told me that she admires the way I hold myself. I was surprised, for I have always seen myself more like a deer, or a squirrel perhaps, quick to startle, always sniffing the air and testing the ground, afraid of its own shadow and never sure if its next steps will be its last. Perhaps my friend has misjudged me, as she is somehow much shorter than even I, and thus, everyone must look imposing to her.
Or perhaps what my friend sees is real. That doesn’t necessarily mean I am wrong about myself. For a confident appearance can often be nothing but a mask, an overcompensation for hidden insecurity.
Either way, I wish I had told her that perhaps I hold myself with this confidence that she apparently sees in me because I actually lack confidence. My composure is a bluff: the best method of victory; if you can persuade the other side that you are not worth the trouble of fighting at all, you will lose nothing. Conversely, the elk that limps is always the first to die.
#vulnerability#fear of vulnerability#allegory#louis beastars#my toe hurts#my thoughts#yes. the elk who limps is killed first#but what wolf told us that?#what fear is worth hiding our softness from the world?#surely it cannot be ever present?#poetry#at least in the tags#hiding injuries
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Tfw u see someone w a take that is just so wrong you have to stand there and wonder if you watched the same show
#Saw someone on a YouTube video say that the mysterious woman from centaurworld was more of a villain than the nowhere king#Bc apparently she knew that the general was the elktaur bc she. Freed the elk from the dungeons?#It's almost a year old comment so I'm not replying to it but did we watch the same show?#I haven't watched S2 since it came out bc I didn't enjoy it but I'm 99% sure it was insinuated she didn't know#At least not for a while. Maybe she learned he was the elktaur when she freed him from the dungeon but they said#That she knew the general had separated himself from the elk during their wedding and I genuinely don't think so#Bc the general and the elktaur did not look like the same person. I just watched a live reaction to someone seeing their separation#And the elk was obviously hiding during the wedding. And the general said 'maybe I should've invited you'#I'm pretty sure he was trying to hide the truth of himself from her (though it's never explicitly stated)#But he hated himself so much as a centaur- why would he admit to the mysterious woman that he'd been one?#Is she innocent? No. Is she the cause of the nowhere king? Also no. She was also a victim of his.#He used her as an excuse but as she said. She would have loved him whole. She would've loved him as a centaur from the start.#If she'd known about the separation and the truth of it. How the elk loathed his lot. I don't think she'd have just.#Ignored it. She didn't seem like the kind of character to allow another to suffer#I accidentally got my friend to watch it so I'm gonna have to rewatch it now tho
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It must be so weird for Eleanor. Like imagine, your bf (I know I know, but in terms of public appearance, that’s what he is to her) is at the top of his game now, killing it with a devoted loyal fan base, a fan base in which Louis shows time and time again he adores and always raves about… and pretty much all that fan base thinks he’s not straight, or at the very least not with her. And don’t even seem to bother with her.
I’m not saying they need to be showing her love like with Louis, but it must be so weird to know that this massive group supporting your ‘longterm partner’ just don’t vibe with you and a lot never really have
yea it would be so weird if they were actually together but I feel like eleanor is not bothered by it. it truly seems like she's only there still because of babygate.
#anons#also if i was in a relationship#with someone famous#and all his fandom thought we weren't together#I'd be all over him/her on social media#and off social media#just to annoy them#but also I'd follow some of these people#bc I love a good conspiracy#like if they had nothing to hide#both louis and elk would have had a good laugh about the theories we came up with
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update i was too sentimental to change my url so. sideblog got changed but the main remains izukxnnie bc it's simply eternal
ALSO ik i'm spamming u w asks i apologize, but should i be sending stuff to sideblog instead or ?
hara STOP IT'S OKAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO. if u wanna change your url make it for all the right reasons, not being able to do it means you must not have the right reasons yet. HEHAAA yay, for now i get to not be confused when i see u in my ask box
#elk's asks#izukxnnie's input#nah it's fine i only shitpost and answer asks on this blog now#i stopped writing (thankfully)#i figure#if i have over a thousand followers who came here for a fandom i'm no longer interested#either way they're not gonna get the content they came here for initially#so might as well make that obvious instead of hiding from 'em#anyways lmao i knew u were a sentimental#hara's a tsundere guys
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the dead squirrel is almost completely hollowed by the maggots which is a SHAME because my meal worms are expected to come april 8th at the latest
#what am i going to do if he's already been taken care of#im now going to be left with 50 beetles#there was no time for bloat he was immediately taken by the maggots he's just a pile of hide#i have an amazon cart fulk of hydrofluoric acid and ties for my cat im eagerly waiting to purchase#i cannot wait to have the bones i cannot wait honestly#i have a goat and elk cervical vertebrae but ... an entire squirrel spine? we're so fucking back#.txt#story
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I've seen you mention that alastor would make little deer bleats in a few fics, do you have anything for the reader hearing him bleat for the first time, like reader said something flirty that caught him off guard or while petting his ears, alastor would definitely be the time to be like "what ever are you talking about dear, you're hearing things" and try to change the subject out of embarrassment
- 🐞
I LOVE IT
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
TW: Suggestive, Explicit s e x towards the end
Description: ☝️⬆️
Alastor makes deer noises, usually when he's pissed off or exerting some of his power
It's a very emotional and unintentional thing, something he normally can't help or hide
Usually, you can hear buck grunts, warning calls, though elk bugle sounds dominate most of the other noises he makes
You didn't even know he was capable of making softer sounds until you found out by accident
The two of you were alone, sharing a romantic moment with you in his lap and his hands caressing your body
You had pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath when his twitching ears suddenly got your attention
Not that Alastor minded, keeping his mouth busy with your neck and shoulder instead
As if you could ever pass up the opportunity to touch those fluffy ears...
You couldn't help but scratch and rub his furry ears, leaning into kiss one while giving it a playful nip
Only to be surprised by the soft bleat that escapes from Alastor and the way his entire body goes stiff out of embarrassment
"Alastor, did you just-"
"Would you look at the time?! I must go, darling! Things to do, people to see!"
Leaves you on the floor, on your back, and in shock
You try to bring it up to him later but that doesn't work-
"Alastor, about that sound you made..."
"Hm? Oh! I merely had to clear my throat! Not to worry, darling! It won't happen again."
"But I want it to."
👀
It becomes a game between you two, well...more of a game for you, Alastor has never been so nervous in his fucking life
You're on a mission to hear that adorable noise again by any means possible
He's eating breakfast?? You're leaning over him and kissing along his neck while pouring him tea
Which doesn't work, he just tilts his head and gives you a contented growl before continuing with his meal
He's taking a small break? Eyes closed and relaxed? You try going for his ears again, massaging them
That doesn't work either, instead he gives you a warm smile and pulls you down to lay with him
You try flirting with him, maybe you can say something sultry and catch him so off guard he makes that sound again?
Instead, you just get yourself into trouble because instead of something small and subtle you just drop a fucking bomb instead
You corner him and pin him to the wall, mustering up every bit of courage and control to push forward
"Do you believe dreams can come true? Because I dream of you cumming inside me."
WHAT THE FUCK Y/N WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT PICK UP LINE
Angel
Oh that makes sense
It doesn't work, instead Alastor gets a predatory look on his face and he's pulling you closer to him
"Luckily for you, my dear~ I happen to have a soft spot for dreamers such as yourself~"
Oh fuck
It actually does end up working in your favor, just not the way you thought it would
You don't even remember how you end up naked on your back, legs spread to accommodate Alastor between them
Both of you are close, having been at it for hours at this point, desperate ragged sounds coming from the two of you
Your nails are digging into his back, no doubt leaving nasty marks that he'll later tease you for
He has one clawed hand on your hip while the other grips and makes deep grooves into the headboard
You're nearly out of it, mind fizzy and hot with the feeling of being so full of Alastor's cock that you almost miss your chance
You know exactly how to get that sound out of him
Suddenly, your legs lock around him and you're tugging him down to you to give him a desperate steamy kiss
He's caught off guard and startled but eagerly reciprocates your actions, chasing a building orgasm between you both
He pulls away to growl and pant, head rolling back as his thrusts become sharp and erratic
You tug him back to you by his hair and suddenly give him a watery smile, barely able to hold on because you're so close
"A-Alastor...haa...I love you...~"
And that's what does it, his eyes widen in surprise as he suddenly releases inside you, letting out a pathetic sounding bleat
He's so mortified afterwards, burying his face in your chest as you comb your fingers through his hair. Both of you shuddering and trying to catch your breaths
"You...you are an evil evil person..."
You can't help but laugh and kiss his head, scratching around his antlers affectionately
"I love you too, Alastor~ Every part of you~"
This one got away from me...it's probably not what you asked for but... I hope you like it!!
#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin x reader
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Crying
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Coach Emma yells
"Is Moose," You say softly.
"You can also call it an elk," Maren says to you.
You have to take a few seconds to think through her words. Your English still isn't very good so it takes you a little bit.
"No," You say," Moose."
Maren smiles. "You can call it an elk too. A girl elk."
You frown, staring at the toy in your hands. "Girl-elk?"
"That's right."
"Girl-elk," You repeat, trying to get used to the way that words feel in your mouth.
It's halftime during a Not-Wolfsburg game. It's very chilly so Momma wrapped you up in a big puffy coat this morning that Morsa says makes you look like the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. You don't know what that means though so you amused yourself with playing with your girl-moose...girl-elk now, you suppose if you believe Maren's telling you the truth.
The match is going badly and the whole room is tense. A few conversations are going on but they're quiet.
The door slams open and you jolt in shock, slipping off the bench and landing on your butt on the floor.
You sniffle and Momma picks you up, tucking you into her neck.
Coach Emma looks angry as she strides in, her face all red and she looks like those people in your cartoons that have steam coming out of their ears.
She starts yelling.
You don't understand her at all. Your English is not good enough to understand but yelling is universal and you understand that means she's angry.
She's yelling a lot, gesturing wildly and the only thing you can really pick out is a few names of the Not-Wolfsburg girls, who all wilt when they get named.
Coach Emma just keeps yelling and that scares you.
You sniffle again, hiding in Momma's neck.
Coach Emma's volume suddenly gets even louder and girl-elk slips out of your hand to land on the floor with a little splat. The noises echo through the locker room and suddenly it's all too much.
You butt still hurts. Your coat is too big. Girl-elk is on the floor and Coach Emma is still screaming.
Tears spill down your cheeks as you sob, blubbering out non-words as you grip your Momma's shirt tightly in one hand while the other extends out to reach for Morsa.
She's immediately by your side, sliding her big hand into your little one and pulling Momma closer.
"Morsa," You blubber out," Momma. I...Morsa, Momma..."
"Shh," Momma soothes you gently," It's okay, Princesse. It's okay. It's alright."
Coach Emma's yelling peters off when she notices how distraught you are. Even though she's not yelling anymore, you continue to cry - wailing, really and Momma moves to take you out of the room.
She paces the hallway with you, rocking you back and forth like she did when you were much littler. It's soothing but you can't stop the tears from falling.
Yelling is already scary but Coach Emma yelling in a language that you're not quite fluent in yet is very, very scary because you don't know what she's saying.
Morsa slips out of the locker room too, with your girl-elk in hand. She tries to hand it to you.
"Dirty," You say in your limited English," Floor dirty."
Momma told you that once at Wolfsburg when you dropped one of your crackers on the floor and still tried to eat it.
Morsa makes a show if wiping off your toy before she hands it to you.
You pull your toy into your body so you can cradle it under your chin as Momma's gentle fingers run up and down your back.
It's better now that you're not in the locker room. It's not loud anymore and you can actually think instead of listening to Coach Emma's loud voice echoing off the walls.
"What was that about, huh?"
"Scary," You answer, tucking you into the safety of Momma's neck. You're not crying as heavily now but a few tears are still slipping down your cheeks.
"It was scary? What was? Emma?"
"Ja."
"It was the yelling, huh?" Morsa says," I'm sorry that made you so upset, princesse. Emma can be a little scary sometimes, right?"
You nod and parrot back," Scary."
"I'll get Emma to sub me off," Morsa says to Momma," I'll sit with her. You stay on the pitch."
"Are you sure?" Momma asks," I can come off instead."
"It's fine," Morsa assures her," We've got defenders to spare. Stay on the pitch, Pernille. I have her."
Momma nods. "I'll tell Emma," She says," You head out the bench and get Princesse settled."
"Can you bring her blanket too? I think a nap would do her some good."
You recognise those words and nod. "Nap. Good."
#woso x reader#hardersson x reader#pernille harder x reader#pernille harder#magdalena eriksson x reader#magdalena eriksson#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso#The Big Adventures Universe
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All the earrings I made my family for Christmas
Oh yeah I paint on elk hide btw
I’m running out tho, ones cow and I really hate cow hide
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how would the cod group react to someone who has medical conditions that affect them mildly but constantly throughout the day? Like, it’s very mild, but constantly there and noticeable
(Eds is a pain in the ass)
I don’t know what Ed was, but it gave me erectile dysfunction as a medical condition, or an eating disorder for mental disorder. I’m not sure which is which, so eh, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Parosmia
Cw: I have no medical knowledge, this is all from google, mild medical condition, loss/distortion of smell and taste, triggering scents, tell me if I missed any.
You were transparent with your annoying condition, your documentation had it written down in medical conditions along with occasional tinnitus and sudden bouts of depression related to your distortion of scents. You’ve had some odours lose their potency, the fresh smell of cold aloe and cucumber dimming to a ghost of it’s freshness, and you’ve had scents that became too strong and nauseating, the usually delicious taste of steak became a nauseating rot and overpowering.
Laswell had disclosed it to Price the day she showed him your file, letting him know that your nose might comprimiseyour operations if anything triggered it, but that, form experience from working with you, you knew how to deal with the disgust and urge to puke. She left him with out much convincing needed, because he’d seen you work once in a past mission in Siberia, a clandestine OP that had him sweating despite the freezing tempature and you hadn’t batted an eye at the attrocious rotting of dead elks and wolves near the base. He let the others know and reassured them that it wouldn’t compromise the mission if it were triggered. Gaz and Soap were more enthusiastic about having you, a little excited of having another teammate to act out with or to prank, and Ghost was more apprehensive and careful about introducing a new operation, but he’d turn around —eventually.
And he did, Ghost was the most careful around you, making sure that his musk and sweat was too strong to your nose, he watched out for any triggering odours and made sure to memorise all your triggers. He might not know how it felt, but he could only sympathise, trying his best to relieve your annoyance and stop anything from happening if he knew how to. It surprised Price how fast Ghost had opened up to you, to your snark and snide replies and heart-stopping grins.
Fortunately, your parosmia was mild, a constant annoyance, but it was milder than the headaches Price had every night. He might not have as much time as the others to spend with you, but whenever he had the time, he would join your ragtag group for a drink in your room rather than the bar when he learned that the smell of oily and oversaturated fries and burgers had your head pulsing and throat clog up. He never brought up the need to go at a bar, he didn’t mind buying bottles and hide them in his office until the moment came for a night drink with his Task Force.
Suprisingly, Gaz was understanding, quick to drop something to help you if you had a moment. Gaz would help you lean over the toilet seat, his hand running down your back in a soothing pattern, encouraging you to let it out and praising you for being strong. He helped you to your feet, knees weak and still a bit nauseous, and cleaned your face with a wet towel and handed you a cup to rinse your mouth before he lead you to your room, seated on your bed and helping you sleep it off. Gaz was a softer shoulder to lean on, confident in his care and unworried about being caught cuddling with you.
And Soap, oh ignorant Johnny, was confused at first, he made mistakes here and there, but he’s smart and resourceful. He might’ve been confused, but he made up for it, coming up with the weirdest and most amusing way to help you around base. He was as obnoxious about it as he was shamelessly showering you with affection, hanging off your shoulder and babbling your ears off while he wafted a scented near you that he learned was relaxing and comfortably soft for your olfactory nerves.
They were surprisingly welcoming and went out of their way to make you comfortable in all and every form, you were honestly happy about it, even if you happened to annoy Ghost with your back talk as much as you did with Price, only encouraging and being encouraged by the younger men of the group.
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts
#x reader#cod mw2#cod mw2 x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#gaz mw2#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#john soap mactavish#soap mw2#soap x reader#price mw2#price x reader#captain price#captain john price#task force 141 x reader#task force 141#polyamory#poly 141#parosmia
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Some writing advice for hunting, bc I see a lot of hunting scenes in fantasy that make me itch. More under the cut. Don't read if you're sensitive to blood-and-guts discussion or animal death.
Finding game:
- I don't hunt much these days bc I don't feel like getting my ass out of bed at shitfuck o'clock every weekend during the season. Which you have to do, because much of the time you come home empty-handed. Successful hunts come about when you're out there often.
- You don't really have to be a good tracker to hunt, but you do have to know the basics of your prey and you have to be able to interpret the landscape even if it's unfamiliar. It's less likely a tracker is looking for "bent blades of grass" or whatever and more likely they are noticing game trails, sheltered areas where nests and burrows are, a spot of thick vegetation which would indicate a water source.
- Scat and footprints are useful too ofc but to varying degrees. If I'm hunting deer it's just confirmation that they're in the area; more often I use knowledge of their habits to actually find them. If I were hunting something elusive and solitary like a cougar I would pay more attention to the tracks but that's also a reason people hunt with dogs!
Actually hunting:
- Bows are not the only hunting weapons, though would be most common in ur typical medieval fantasy type setting. Spears and lances, slings with stones, and clubs would also be used. And knives and swords but in this hunter's opinion, FUUUUCK that.
- Lung shot is a quick death. Heart shot and head shot too but that is much harder. Other shots might mean tracking a wounded animal as it runs away. This is where things like broken twigs/bent grass are especially telling, and ofc blood. Small game bleed out faster and won't get as far but you might spend quite a while running after an elk shot in the flank.
- This highly depends on the prey but hunting often involves more sitting around than people realize. I bring a small pad for my booty ass bc sometimes you'll spend hours in a strategic spot waiting for the game to pass by. Also hides (the shelter, not the skins) are a thing and most hunters would consider shelter-building an essential skill.
- Hunting seasons are not entirely a modern convention -- there are better times of year to find different animals. But there would be less concern, historically, about killing animals during the breeding season than we have today.
- Even when I was hunting regularly and more confident, I got a huge adrenaline spike EVERY time I had an animal in my sights.
Big game:
- A deer has a lot of meat on it and though it's not a bad thing to leave a carcass for scavengers, your party of two or three adventurers probably will not go to the trouble of hunting deer unless they have some nearby place to cache, preserve, or trade what they can't eat before it spoils. Are they leaving it behind or do they have some way to take full advantage of such a large kill?
- If your character gets a large game animal they're probably going to field dress it: deal with all the blood and guts on site, then quarter it so it can be packed back to the campsite or whatever. My dad is a big burly mutant man and he cannot carry a deer by himself. You can carry game on poles or horseback too but field dressing is pretty typical in a situation where u can't just fling it in the back of the truck and hang it at home.
- I grew up eating bear and when it comes up I'm often surprised how many people don't know that people hunt bear for meat. It's tasty imo, especially makes a good sausage
- I can hunt deer alone, though company is nice. I wouldn't attempt hunting something more dangerous by myself. Large animals especially are better taken down as a group effort. In the TES context for example it would be kind of insane to hunt horker alone. Not that some folks wouldn't try.
Small game:
- A character who subsists mostly on hunting is going to be eating a lot of small game. They are probably going to use traps and snares in addition to actually going out on hunts.
- Look up "rabbit starvation." Small game is often (but not always) lean and going without fat for a long time can cause serious health issues.
- I joke that you don't hunt turkey, you just go get one. Game birds are kind of stupid. I plan a deer hunt, but I have gone out and shot grouse on a whim.
Processing:
- Draining blood, skinning, plucking, butchering, dealing with all the bones and guts, storage and preservation: pretty time consuming and involved. It's a good excuse for social activity.
- The moneyed classes likely would not process their kills themselves, unless they're doing some kinda randyll tarly masculinity flex for the symbolism. Kitchen staff or a local butcher would handle it.
- A good skinning knife is kinda wide and short. Some game knives have a rounded tip which keeps it from puncturing the skin in case of accidental slippage.
- Skinning is done with a light hand bc puncturing the digestive system means you've poisoned the meat. I will say it is less difficult than I expected it to be the first time I tried it.
- We don't eat a lot of offal in the US but a deer liver, for example, would be considered prime meat by many and eaten first. Bear, walrus, and seal liver contain toxic amounts of vitamin A and would be thrown away.
- I've been told every animal has enough brains to tan its own hide, but I think there are some exceptions. It's definitely true of deer and elk. With small animals like rabbits it's hardly worth the effort of getting the brains out and other things can be used but brain tanned leather is soooo soft and nice.
- Hides and pelts are useful and valuable and would be kept or traded if circumstances allowed. You can tightly roll a hide to keep it from drying out before tanning, or you can freeze it, basically indefinitely. You can also air dry it once scraped clean and soften it later, which is what fur hunters would most likely do for efficiency's sake. Tanning is also so so so fucking gross imo. Really slimy process, and tanneries REEK.
That's all I can think of for now and this is already hella long but the takeaway is that it is generally a pretty involved activity and more impactful on lifestyle than I usually see depicted. So there ya have it
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Cryptids & Creatures of Folklore Drawtober Day 8 — The Lascaux Unicorn
The Lascaux Cave system in France is famous for being home to hundreds of stunning prehistoric paintings dating to the Paleolithic era. Most of the paintings depict large animals like horses, aurochs, elk, lions, and bears but there is one image featuring a rather unusual animal. It is light-colored with a spotted hide, has high shoulders, and two long horns protruding from its forehead. Nicknamed the Lascaux Unicorn—despite having two horns—this animal has never been identified.
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all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens
First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct:
Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!
Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.
Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.
Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)
Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.
Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent-
When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.
Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.
Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident
Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.
Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).
Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS
Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.
Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.
Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.
Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)
Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.
Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.
Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).
Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.
Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.
Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?
Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.
Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.
Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.
Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.
Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.
Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.
Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane
Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.
Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.
Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.
Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.
Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.
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