#eels minecraft art
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Kny Characters + Internet
Ok now THIS is the last one for now I promise
(modern au obv)
Tanjirou: He likes watching videos of people doing impressive skateboard tricks, video game speedruns, heartwarming videos named smt like "WATCH THIS TO HAVE YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED", unlikely animal friends, cats being silly, puppies running around, comedy sketches with high production value and whatever else 15 year old boys watch on Youtube (Minecraft??? Pokemon??? Among us??? Lego??? I don't actually know)
Nezuko: Has an (extremely popular) etsy shop where she sells her homemade jewelry, and uses bandcamp to follow her friends who upload their music on there (namely Makomo). She also sort of uses whatsapp like social media bc she’s just in so many groupchats, and is constantly updating her status bc she can never settle on which string of emojis it should be. Her Youtube history consists of DIY's, fashion, baking, travel vlogs that kind of thing.
Zenitsu: He is very precious about his phone, because it is where he will someday write the next great contemporary novel. At the present, it is mostly scattered across various notes in his notes app, and mostly in code so that Kaigaku or gramps won't understand even if they do read it. Kaigaku hacks into his phone a lot, a fact which he has resigned himself to, which is why all of his text conversations are incredibly boring, except for his messages with Nezuko, which are communicated almost entirely in an emoji secret language only they understand. His camera roll is exclusively screenshots of pdfs and pictures of other people's cats he's saved, as well as some of Jigoro's old man memes he sends in the whatsapp family groupchat (which is just Jigoro, him and Kaigaku who has it on mute and never opens it) which autodownload into his phone (he doesn't know how to change that setting). He sleeps with his phone under his pillow, and always has it in his pocket during the day, but somehow Kaigaku still manages to steal it at least once a month, and until he has to leave for college, he is just gonna have to live like that.
Inosuke: He has a phone, but he doesn't use it much because it is a hassle. His friends and family know only to text him when it's urgent, with the exception of Nezuko who texts him constantly and Tanjirou, who will call him whenever he feels like it. He had Nezuko change his settings so that everything he dictates comes out in all caps. He's sick of people informing him of this fact as if it is a glitch and not something he is doing on purpose. He does have a Twitter but he doesn't actually follow anyone just tweets whenever he feels like it (whenever he has a thought he feels needs documenting). He has amassed many followers due to his dril+cher tweetstyle, a fact which pisses off Zenitsu (someone who actually attempts to gain a following on Twitter) to no end.
Genya: Watches NPR Tiny Desks, KEXP live, lofi hip hop anime beats to study/relax to and best of Vine compilations. Anything on Youtube that isn't music or shortform comedy simply does not interest him.
Kanao: Loves the artful simplicity of those animated TED-Ed videos. They have led her down a lot of interesting research rabbitholes. She promises Nezuko she would stop sending them to Tanjirou though after he spent the entire month telling her about nothing but eel mating habits and lesser known facts about Genghis Khan.
Rest of characters under read more
Rengoku: He isn't technology illiterate per say, but he is way too cool to be addicted to his phone. He does use the popular social media apps on a semi-regular basis, just because he genuinely enjoys seeing what people are up to, but he is extremely healthy about it. His camera roll is filled with pictures of his friends, family and every animal he's ever seen and been lucky enough to snap a photo of. He also has one of those ecofriendly phone cases. He uses his phone to spontaneously call people when he is thinking about them, which all of his friends have just gotten used to despite the fact that his generation doesn't simply do that. From anyone else it would be annoying but from him it's adorably charming.
Giyuu: Exclusively uses Youtube to watch cute cat videos, otherwise he's terrified he will click on something that might potentially radicalize him, since he read somewhere that the algorithm was designed to do that, or worse, direct him to one of those content farm generated animations of Elsa getting a C section, which is apparently also a concern. Frankly, the internet scares him, and he tries to avoid it as much as possible.
Sanemi: Like Giyuu, he is also terrified that social media would be sure to bring out the worst in him, so he limits his social media use to Spotify, JSTOR and online chess, where a 12 year old boy from Turks and Caicos Islands always manages to beat him which pisses him off to no end. These are not actual social media platforms, his friends are sure to point out, but it’s the most social he’s willing to get, so it counts.
Shinobu: Her Youtube library is extremely eclectic. She can't stop clicking videos titled like "The most Destructive Pandemics and Epidemics in Human History" just to watch the entire thing and be like "why did I watch this? I knew all of that already" but ya know. She just had to make sure. Her personal favourite side of Youtube is the videos of chemical reactions, especially the ones that end in an explosion. The only apps she is actually addicted to is Sudoku and online chess, where she is secretely catfishing Sanemi by pretending to be a 12 year old boy from Turks and Caicos Islands who trounces him every time. Meanwhile whenever she plays against him in real life, she makes sure she always loses to him and to never employ any remotely similar strategies as her catfishsona. Sanemi never catches on.
Uzui: He loves his phone for one reason only: Spotify. The annual release of Spotify wrapped is like a holiday to him. He does not shut up about it for a whole month, which is as annoying as you would think it is. He uses Instagram sparingly but he does have a decent following there. His voice memos are littered with half-baked ideas for new songs that he wakes up in the middle of the night to record before the idea is lost forever. His camera roll is mostly selfies, selfies of him with his wives, his friends and videos of him skateboarding. He also has an ecofriendly phone case (it was a birthday gift from Kyojuro).
Iguro: He loves his phone because pretending to text gives him an excuse to avoid talking to people in public spaces or at parties. Whenever asked, will claim that he doesn’t use social media and never has. This is a lie. He’s had a Tumblr account since he was 13, and not a day goes by that he doesn’t scroll through his dashboard. He has an entire folder in his camera roll that is just videos of Sanemi and Giyuu getting into fights. He rewatches a couple before bed every night, it relaxes him.
Mitsuri: Her Youtube history is filled with baking videos, recipes, speedpaints and cute cats being cute. She has a lot of games in her phone, half of which are from her siblings. She's very lucky she knows how to jailbreak her phone, because they make a lot of in-game purchases without her permission. She also loves elaborate make-up tutorials that she would never even bother to attempt replicate (but she likes to think that maybe one day if she gets invited to the Met Gala she now has looks to choose from)
Muichirou: Occasionally enjoys listening to long ass video essays about obscure topics, but mostly he just listens to podcasts. He is also partial to this one video of a chainsaw revving on a 10 hour loop, and he plays it at just the right volume that his friends will be like "What's that awful noise?" To which he innocently responds "I don't hear anything" and they are like "Oh no, you must be able to hear it, it's so annoying..." to which Muichirou responds "Are you sure? It all sounds normal to me". He tries this on Yuichirou once, this leads them to get into a very violent brawl in which Muichirou's nose is nearly broken, so he decides to limit this particular gambit to the company of his friends only.
Gyomei: Only uses Youtube to listen to meditation playlists and isn't even aware that there are other types of videos on this platform. Ignorance is truly bliss.
Yushiro: He has a Wikipedia account and he is constantly updating articles when he’s bored. his favorite pasttime is adding [citation needed] because after all the research he’s contributed to the database, he’s earned the right to be a bitch. He goes on Reddit sometimes, but he doesn’t have an account. He’s scared of social media, and refuses to touch any of it with a ten foot pole.
Muzan: He is torn between hating Apple products and knowing that having the latest iPhone model is a necessary status symbol. Which is why he has both an iPhone AND a Blackberry. He has a huge gold iPhone with no case (and yet not a single scratch on it!) and one of those oldass Blackberries with the tiny little keyboard. It is sort of unclear what he needs both of these phones of, considering he is not a drug dealer, but he insists that both of his phones are as necessary to him as his two laptops (one for work and one for Reddit, naturally). Has a Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter that he rarely uses (because that platform’s really for sjws everyone knows that), and a Reddit account that he is obsessed with. He and Kagaya have actually got into death-threat-escalating level fights over politics on certain threads before, but unbeknownst to them, are actually very fond of each other on the Rick and Morty thread because they have all the same opinions. Neither of them seem to notice that their fandom friend has the same username as their sworn enemy who they once yelled at for two days straight.
Kaigaku: Is a Soundcloud rapper. Sometimes, when company is around Zenitsu puts on Kaigaku's Soundcloud album as a test of endurance to see who breaks and has to turn it off first.
Daki: She has so many notifications blowing up her phone at any given time that she has just elected to ignore them throughout the day and then check on the people she actually cares about responding to before bed every night. She sees opening her phone as kind of a chore, and always has it on do not disturb mode, except for when she is being deliberately petty, at which point she'll turn it on as loud as possible because it makes her laugh when the people around her snap "Can you put that thing on silent ?" in unison. Her camera roll has soooooooo many selfies, but seeing as posting pictures of her face makes her money, can you blame her? She has a huge following on Instagram, but she wisely never checks her notifications or DM's because it's scary in there. Exclusively watches the goriest of true crime stories and callout videos, the messier and the more contrived, the better.
Gyokko: He follows 0 people on twitter but has approximately 43.7k followers. Most of them are convinced that his anonymous account actually belongs to some aging starlet because of the all-caps, eccentric nature of his syntax. He yells his tweets into his phone whenever he’s bored in his room, but when he says shit like “I DESERVE AN EGOT” half his followers start trying to deduce which awards he already does have. they’re convinced he at least has a Tony.
Douma: To boost his platform he decides to go on a reality TV show. He pretends to be a vapid airhead, but is actually very subtly manipulating not only the other contestants, but also the crew. He walks out from this whole experience with double the Instagram followers (he already had a sizable amount to begin with) and a huge bag. He also runs a pyramid scheme because of course he does.
Kokushibou: He had a crappy old flip-phone given to him by his father for the longest time. By the time he gets a smartphone he has absolutely no desire to use social media, having seen the disastrous effects on other people's brains. He has one of those bulky phone cases that doubles as a swiss army knife and a wallet. All the apps in his phone are organized in groups. That said his notes app is a MESS. He's in a groupchat with Muzan and Nakime which mostly consists of articles he forwards him that he reads and respond thoroughly to or one of them texting "lunch?" and the other one sending a thumbs up emoji.
#kny#demon slayer#kimetsu gakuen#kimetsu no yaiba#tanjiro kamado#zenitsu agatsuma#inosuke hashibira#nezuko kamado#genya shinazugawa#kanao tsuyuri#kyojuro rengoku#gyomei himejima#uzui tengen#sanemi shinazugawa#muichiro tokito#giyuu tomioka#iguro obanai#mitsuri kanroji#shinobu kocho#muzan kibutsuji#kny headcanons#kokushibo#doma#daki#kaigaku#gyokko#yushiro kny#kny modern au
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welcome to my blog!!!
you can call me stanley/stan, ferret, mabel or jester <3
i go by she/he/it/mrr/fey/bat/ci/eel/ix pronouns (that's just some of them bc i'm lazy lol. rest can be found here!) no preference, all i ask is that you mix it up a little :3
as of right now i mainly post about gravity falls and rick and morty. severely unwell about those shitty old men and their families!!!!!
also, i don't talk about it much but i listen to chonny jash constantly so feel free to talk to me about his music <33 if you interact with me enough chances are that i will try and get you to give his stuff a listen. it's what god would've wanted
currently writing a fic for my gravity falls au called the blood brothers au! anything related to that goes in the tag #au fic progress for now !!!!!!!
my dms and askbox are always open!!! you can also add me on discord at autisticpines and talk to me there if you like :)
my lovely partners are @redwingbirb and @lemonlightt, they are both utterly insane anddd you should go follow them <333
click here for my dni/byf!
click here for a special surprise!
more info under the cut!
other things i'm interested in but don't talk about as much:
mlp gen 4, ducktales 2017, don't starve, the owl house, half life vr ai, portal, the stanley parable, doctor who, good omens, moral orel, the glass scientists, team fortress 2, terraria, minecraft. there's more but if i listed them all out we'd be here all day. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THESE BTW
important tags:
#ferret rambles - general talking tag. i tag original posts and headcanons and stuff with this
#ferret's art - art tag!!!!! likes, reblogs and comments are heavily appreciated btw :D
#ferret writes - i don't post my writing on here very often but when i do i use this tag <3
#ferret edits - what happens when you entrust someone like me with video editing software! not much in this tag yet either but soon. Soon
AUs to watch out for:
!! gravity falls blood brothers au askblog (@fraterfalls) + bbau tag !!
!! rick and mabel au tag !!
toh vampire au askblog (@owlsandbats) + tvh tag
hlvrai high school au askblog (@ask-hlvrai-hs) + hlvraihs tag
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Every so often I remember that these characters exist
These guys also date back to around 2020-early 2021 and technically they’re Splatoon ocs and were originally intended to be so, but I later used them for a school project that kind of made it ambiguous so they could also just be their own thing. I’m a big fan of non inkling/Octoling Splatoon ocs bc I love how unique they can be!
I originally planned on adding them on my Art Fight profile and here was their WIP icon lol.
I’m not sure how I’m gonna use these guys now but I do really like them so I may talk about them or draw them every once in a while!
Some fun facts about them:
-Francis and Spence are very good friends, they actually call each other “cousin” despite not being blood related. (Based on how sharks and rays are very closely related!)
-Spence kind of picks on Francis for having an “old person name”, but it’s all in good fun.
-Francis has been described as “A college student but without the college”.
-Spence is probably about the most average guy you’ll ever meet, it’s kind of insane.
-Sage acts like a grandparent to Sorrel, and lets him hang around the shop.
-Sage is actually really tall, but tries to stay coiled as much as possible to not intimidate others.
-Sorrel is very much whatever the equivalent of a Minecraft/Fortnite/Fnaf/FNF kid.
-Physically, he’s very parrot-like. I imagine that although flying fish are their own sentient species like everyone else, they still have the body types and movement of parrots.
-Has extremely limited powered flight, can maybe boost into the air a little bit but not much else. Mostly just glides.
-Thrasher is based on a playmobil seahorse, and actually relies on his tail more than his fins. He’s very chameleon/kangaroo-like. (I actually forgot which specific species of seahorse he’s meant to be but he’s based off a certain real one too).
-The Electric Eel Guy hangs out in a bar often, probably knows Thrasher.
-Quite the practical joker, he and his buddies are often pulling pranks on each other, usually involving their own electricity. Others usually aren’t able to handle it as well though.
-Barracuda guy is a very fast runner, scarily so. Technically works maintenance but can run down anyone he spots trespassing.
#splatoon#splatoon oc#anthro#on tonight’s episode of: Toothpaste rediscovered her old ocs and decides to brainrot about them instead of finishing all the stuff#she already started#I’m also kind of surprised how similar Francis and Big Man kinda are#design wise#despite Francis predating Deep Cut’s reveal#my art
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can you make a post that features all the quotes and art you used in your weather quiz? I tried to screenshot all of it for reference later because I thought all the quotes were cool but I think I missed some! thank you!
why yes of course!! here are the quotes from my uquiz! i didnt include the ones i made up like the choose a kind of melancholy but i can add them if you’d like :)
pick a quote about god:
“At the trial of God, we will ask: why did you allow all this? And the answer will be an echo: why did you allow all this?” ― Ilya Kaminsky
“i crawl in the moss. it is easy to find god. she is a cluster of eels beneath my palms. i ask of her, am i doing any of this life right? and she, with her many mouths, says nothing.” - kitchen mckeown
“Marianne, he said, I'm not a religious person but I do sometimes think God made you for me” -sally rooney
“they say if you want something bad enough you’ll end up making a god out of it” -ocean vuong
“And God said, Survive. And carry my perfume among the perishing.” -tony hoagland
choose an image, i couldn’t find sources sorry!
Saad Moosajee, Danaé Gosset, & Art Camp from “a pearl” by mitski
choose a quote from life of the party by olivia gatwood:
“i was alone by winter, practicing some familiar grief. my old hearts sacrament”
“I don't know why I'm doing this—playing show and tell with the times I've walked fast in the dark. Maybe I see myself in the worst of it. Maybe if I can imagine myself in the shallow water, you should too. Maybe I am tired of hearing people talk about the murder of girls like it is both beautiful and out of the ordinary.”
“we are sitting on the cusp of spring. we are always sitting on the cusp of spring. “
“how many gods can a girl have? who will she go home to when she dies?”
“we are girls, silent and dead, and still, the life of the party.”
“I am afraid that outside of here, is just another here. I am afraid I will spend the rest of my life hoping to build myself in the vision of someone else. What am I, if not yours? What do I do with my hands when they are just hands?”
“at some point i’ll tell you why i didn’t go to the wake. i guess i never really knew johnny like that. by that i mean sober or in a church. when i say i didn’t go to the wake i mean i drove by his house everyday for two years and the for sale sign never got taken down like the house would always be johnny’s, like maybe the whole town knew what happened there. like maybe no one could get rid of the blood.”
collage art that makes me ill:
@haunteddomens (mitski)
@woundpattern
@asoftwrongness
@heavensghost
@remanence-of-love
choose a quote that makes me believe in the world:
“On soft Spring nights I'll stand in the yard under the stars - Something good will come out of all things yet - And it will be golden and eternal just like that - There's no need to say another word.”-Jack Kerouac
“and the universe said i love you” -minecraft end poem/ julian gough
“you can put your strength down, i'm sitting here with you at your kitchen table, there's no need to say another word.” -Eden Robinson
“Sometimes I get up before sunrise to watch the way the dark thins out and objects slowly reveal themselves, the trees, the rest of the landscape. You can hear the river below and roosters in the village. The light of dawn, cold and blue, gradually fills the world, and it’s the same in every place I’ve been.”-Andrzej Stasiuk
“i forgive myself, i did everything that i could, and my life has value. yes.” queer eye
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posting my newest redone character ref bc I keep forgetting to not reblog non art stuff here LOL
[ID: A reference sheet for an OC set on a desaturated green background. The character is a tan, teenage kid with fish-like ears and gills and a eel-like green tail. Half of his hair is dark brown and the other half is a pale blond. One of his eyes is dark green and the other is pale green. They have yellowish-green blotches on their skin. He wears a short sleeve green striped shirt over a long sleeve yellow-green shirt, dark brown jeans with green patches, brown boots, and brown gloves. They have one hand on their hip and are smiling and waving.
To their right are three boxes in differing shades of green. The top box, dark green, reads in yellow-green text: “Poisonous Potato / Adolescent / They/He / 4’11”. There are two sprites of the Minecraft Poisonous Potato item in the box as well.
The second box, a lighter green, showcases 6 stats with bars to show on a scale of 1-10 the magnitude of the stat: Strength (2), Speed (7), Agility (5), Intelligence (6), Charisma (2), Survival Skills (1).
The bottom box is in a lighter green and showcases the character’s inventory, containing a green journal, brown shoulder bag, and a small vial of milk.
/END ID]
#csp#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#minecraft gijinka#minecraft oc#ocs#original art#original character#minecraft
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List of all the organizational tags I use
#art — any and all art
#words of sheoth — banger posts made by me
#asks - any asks posted will be tagged with this
#lgbtq+ — my queer tag
#resources — anything that has resources for things; has a wide variety of topics
#art tips — art advice, tips, tricks, guides, etc
#current events — things happening in the world; mostly tragic events
#flashing — posts that have flashing lights in them
#nsft
#long post
#bug — any and all bugs; includes spiders
#bird — any and all birds
#aquatic — for organisms that live in water; includes fish, octopi, crabs, squid, eels, sea slugs, whales, sharks, etc
#wizard — wizard aesthetic posts
#dnd — dungeons and dragons
#dog
#cat
#food
#music
#adhd
#important — mostly self care and advice posts
#hylics — posts relating to the Hylics games
#yugioh
#ultrakill
#undertale
#deltarune
#minecraft
#hades
#resident evil
#silent hill
#tma — The Magnus Archives
#pokemon
#tes — all posts about The Elder Scrolls
#oblivion — TES: Oblivion
#morrowind — TES: Morrowind
#skyrim — TES: Skyrim
#db — dragon ball
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Tried that fanart game again! All requests were from my pokemon discord
#my art#artists of tumblr#6 fanarts#michael pokemon#clay pokemon#gir#snom#fox#minecraft#pokemon#invader zim#steel eel#splatoom
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｡:ﾟ乁. 💜 Coralei Crash Course 💜 .ㄏﾟ:｡
…ᘛᐷ· Pronouns — She/Her
…ᘛᐷ· Age — Born 1992, Scorpio
…ᘛᐷ· Queerness — Trans Woman, Bi Lesbian, Polyam
…ᘛᐷ· Identity — Socialist/leftist, ADHD-haver, furry, mixed white/???, sex/body/fat positive
…ᘛᐷ· Pronunciation — Coralei (COR-uh-lye, sounds like Lorelei or Coraline without the n sound) or just Cora
…ᘛᐷ· Vibes — Lumberjane, vain af, werewolf girlfriend, chaotic multishipper, car gay, cringe but free, utility lesbian, MCR diehard, a Noelle in Susie's clothing
…ᘛᐷ· Fandom — Deltarune, Kingdom Hearts, Furry, OFMD, secretly a Homestuck sleeper agent
…ᘛᐷ· Content Rating — Roughly 16+: Liberal use of swears, possibly risque art, maybe the occasional weed mention
—
｡:ﾟ乁. Tags I Use .ㄏﾟ:｡
#Coraposting — Basically any original post or something I add significant thoughts to. A post that isn't a simple reblog.
#my art — art that I've made!
#give the devil her queue — my queue tag
#suggestive — reblogs or posts that might have a sexual tone
#important — usually a political message or post that I care about
#politics — I try to tag some political discussion in case folks aren't here for that
#mental eels — for posts about or my thoughts on mental illness, mostly ADHD for me
(Fandom tags: #dr — deltarune #mcr — my chemical romance #kh — kingdom hearts #furry — furries)
—
More info under the cut!!
Hey I'm Cora!
I'm a digital artist and a fandom trash girl(affectionate) currently in my second Tumblr era!! My first one started in my teen years and lasted until around 2016 at which point I moved to Twitter (for some fucking reason?¿?,,?). But it turns out, Twitter is a machine designed to slowly siphon away my blood and that sucks ass so I'm fuckin back baybee. New blog, same great taste.
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｡:ﾟ乁. Before You Follow .ㄏﾟ:｡
Just a heads up my years on Twitter really fucked my tag etiquette so I like hardly tag my posts anymore. I'm trying to get better but also it's my blog and I'm allowed to be lazy.
I'm trying to keep this blog relatively free of sexual content but there might be occasional artistic nudity and I can't guarantee I won't slip up and reblog a hot furry or something.
—
I don't care much for DNI lists but some quick notes:
…ᘛᐷ· I'm a far left anti-capitalist anti-cop queer trans woman so you can imagine that I don't want to see landlords, blue-line bastards, bootlickers, anti-vax conspiracists, any flavor of white supremacy, conservatives, and you're smart I'm sure you can extrapolate from there.
…ᘛᐷ· Bi/pan/mspec lesbian exclusionists, I won't tell you not to follow me but don't come at me with that "mspec lesbians are lesbophobic" shit okay? okay. I don't wanna see it.
—
｡:ﾟ乁. Stuff I'm Into .ㄏﾟ:｡
My current obsession is Deltarune and you know I'm shipping Suselle, you know I'm shipping Kriselle and Krerdly and Krusielle. KH is my backburner obsession and Xion is my daughter and she's trans and she's perfect and also I'm a SoRiKai diehard.
…ᘛᐷ· Shows
Steven Universe, She-Ra, What we do in the shadows, Kipo, AtLA, Our flag means death, The adventure zone, Archer
…ᘛᐷ· Gaymes
✨💜Kingdom Hearts💜✨, Minecraft, ❤️Deltarune/Undertale❤️
…ᘛᐷ· Music
Porter Robinson, MCR, CHVRCHES, Haylea Williams, Left at London, The Orion Experience, Pierce the Veil, Lil Nas X, Billy Talent, Dance Gavin Dance, Rainych
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I figured it was time to make a pinned post so uh! Here it is!
I’m Neil, Venice or Vinny!! My pronouns are he/it/nya + sea/seer + others
I enjoy animals, especially cats, eels, and fish!
I do not share images of myself but I may show images of my pets. I mostly reblog things on this account, but occasionally I post art, poetry or ramblings.
I’m into a lot of things at any given time and it changes too often for me to update this post but at the moment I’m into Minecraft, Warrior cats, Dread and some MCRP/MCYT.
You can ask me for my discord username if you want to chat! It’s my preferred platform of communication! I’m pretty friendly :3c.
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it's been nearly a year since my first suicide attempt, since the worst summer of my fucking life that i STILL CANT REMEMBER.
and i feel like i've gone nowhere
i'm still the same piece of shit who couldn't even acknowledge the people she hurt, who still tries to victimize herself when she's anything but the victim, who is wasting the time of everyone around her
i know all this. i know these flaws. i'm self-aware and that makes it worse because despite everything i do i feel like i haven't gotten any better, like i haven't improved at all and if anything i've just sunk deeper into this pit
and it's not like i haven't had people reach out!
my math teacher has kept up with me the WHOLE YEAR yet time and time again i let myself fall short.
i want to be better. i need to be better, for the people that are here now and for those that i've hurt in the past.
for my guinea pigs. for my rats. for my dogs. for everyone.
yet here i am just fucking wallowing, crying on an empty blog that no one will read or give a shit about because it's just me.
i graduate soon. well. i /might/ graduate soon
god
i've fallen so far.
my friends are going to harvard, to mit. i feel like i'm just going to a shallow grave.
i wish things were easy, that i could take a few pills and just be /better./ i want to stop feeling this way, i just want to feel better. i've changed my ways! i only drink water, i eat healthier, i walk my dogs for two hours every day, i've taken up new and old hobbies. but i still fall into slumps, i feel like i am a slump.
i've barely told anyone but i haven't felt like myself in weeks and i'm so fucking scared. i feel like i don't know who i am anymore and the coping mechanisms that i've used to try and feel like myself aren't working like they used to. i feel like im fragmented and being pulled apart at the seams. maybe i'm giving myself too much credit
a overfilled trash bag thats splitting and spilling nothing but garbage
that's better.
i'm just overdramatic
i'm just tired
i even have a healthy sleep schedule, did i mention that? in bed by 10, up by 7. i walk my sister to the bus stop almost everyday.
i thought i did everything right. why doesn't it work why aren't i better why am i still the same asshole why am i no one why am i nothing why can't i just be better why am i not fucking dead
55 days until i'm 18
54 until the night i became the world's greatest failure
what kind of idiot fails to kill themself? twice, at that?
i feel like i'm faking this. i read these words i type and i cry and if eel like im faking it. that i'm doing it for attention. i'm manipulative, i lie to emotionally abuse people
i know this and i'm probably doing it now
seems like something i'd do
my mom says my laptop will be back soon, finally repaired. i don't think i mentioned it here but the harddrive broke and i lost everything
stories. hundreds of thousands of words and i WISH that was an exaggeration
my fucking POKEMON. ALL MY GODDAMN POKEMON!!! I BEAT SOUL SILVER WITH JUST AN AMPHAROS AND ITS FUCKING GONE. MARILYN IM SORRY. NOT TO MENTION ALL MY OTHER SAVES
all my art. all those sketches. i've barely drawn since, nothing feels right anymore. not like i know where my art tablet is anyway :/ that's just
gone
everything's gone
once i have a laptop again, i think i'll be happier. i hope i'm happier. my life is there, my happiness is there. it's not healthy to stare at a screen for who knows how many hours of a day but it makes me happy
i want to have fun with graey again. the weeks we'd spend just playing minecraft and stardew and we haven't been able to do anything because i'm just on my phone and a shitty school laptop that can't even run google and word at the same time
i don't know what i'm going to do. this whole thing is a mess, just so much bullshit. and it's barely the tip of the iceberg
i didn't even mention how my dad found another rope in my brother's room. part of me hopes it's not what i think it is and some part of how i once opened his girlfriend's snapchat and found him listed as daddy
fucking discord moderator lookin' ass. it's the trauma innit
i'm doing dnd again. it's not full campaigns, just one-shots with the sewer rats every other weekend or so where i dm and they can have fun.
i like making them happy
i love all of them. they're my family. caesar, crypt, xeno, cat, moe, roo, blink, cig, fox, graey, even fed and ag. if it weren't for you guys, i'd be nothing. i'd be gone.
caesar, you've been with me through everything. i wouldn't be here if you weren't there for me. i'm glad we're getting close again, i've missed your company
i'm glad i'm the one you tag when you see if anyone wants to watch u stream :)
crypt, for all the shit i give you i love you. when are we going to finish mamma mia together u rat ass bitch
xeno u are one of the funniest motherfuckers i've met, even if u are a literal fetus. whenever i see u join vc im always so fucking hyped
cat why r u so fucking racist. when r we gonna play phasmo
moe stop touching kids.
roo i am not gonna lie sometimes u feel like my mom i s2g granted u are geriatric so maybe that makes u my grandma. point still stands, also when r we gonna plot wren and dhova i want my twink-turned-twunk
blink i still need to dm u back give me a sec.
cig u are also a fetus but u are one of my FAVORITE people to brainstorm and plot with. UR BRAIN IS SO WRINKLY AND UR ALWAYS SO RESPONSIVE IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!
fox. ANOTHER FETUS. but also an amazing dm and just?? ur so creative. U ARE SO CREATIVE. UR CHARACTER DESIGN. UR ART SKILLS. ur so underappreciated?
graey when r we having the dildo battle. i will come to alaska and live in a shack in the woods with ur nasty unshowering ass if it means i get to punch u in the face irl and laugh abt the usual bullshit with you.
fed stop being british it's literally so gross idk how u do it. if u stop being british i'll stop bullying u abt ur terrible typing skills
ag u are just. cool. like if i had to pin someone as like the 'cool/chill' person of the sewers it would 100% be u i am ngl. play roblox cats with me u fucking coward
enough of being sappy. they need to stop accusing me of being a lesbian I AM NOT A LESBIAN
ok
im happy again
thinking about them makes me happy
in other news celestial bodies by ghost data is a nice song
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The post The One Thing to Do for Village Candles appeared first on Happy Experiences Always.
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