Part 5….i think?

Big woman. Big hair. Oscar being an idiot👍

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a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)

As a masc—“ugly”—woman, there’s a lot of shit that feminine women experience that I don’t have to put up with, but sometimes I experience it and I’m just like, how have y’all not committed murder?? If I had to deal with this constantly, I feel like I’d resort to violence.

was on a call with boss's boss and he said my least favroite client might be dropped soon and I did a sign of the cross

Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

Either my story post really sucks. Or it doesn't appear on anyone's dash... 'cause even my most useless text posts get notes, but my first part of "Sacrélège"? Just one note (well, two but one is my own rb) since I posted it last evening.

Or everyone decided that I suck and they now hate me.

(yes, I'm in a very confident mood, as you can see)(no I'm not; I kinda want to abandon my new story because it's probably too shitty anyway and just lie in bed for the next decade or so)

idk about you guys but im excited to get old and grow wrinkles and see the way my mind and body changes. being super depressed as a teen made me think i would never live past 20 so i like to think of getting older and the changes that come with it as a treat

Daud for the “send me a character” meme thingie?

seeing as i already unleashed my Daud Thoughts on my unsuspecting followers, i will use this as an opportunity for another headcanon

he is LAUGHABLY horrible at showing affection. and i dont mean in the "shy about it/pretends its no big deal" way (although that too for more generous versions of him), i mean extremely roundabout to the point that what He considers "extremely obvious and painfully embarrassing way of showing that i like this person" is to the recipient completely incomprehensible

ask me about characters and stuff <3

A colleague in their 20s came up me (40s) earlier and asked if I was good with tech and if I could help reassemble their ear plugs that had fallen out and broken open. We kind of got them back together and she said she wasn't that bothered if they're trashed cause they're ajute.

I said what was that ajute?

After she said yeah I asked what ajute meant. She said like a knock off. I got excited and asked where that slang came from, is that what the kids say these days, is it short for anything?

She just kind of looked at me and said its short for duplicate. She was saying a dupe not ajute 😭🤣

my colleagues trust me waaaaay too much

phone = currently so smashed it's now officially rebelling against the status quo (me). maybe it's time for a disconnected and cool off-trail january hike all day tomorrow

work today was actually kinda fun im so powerful <3

omg remember when i said “whenever a customer gets angry with me about a discount they have zero entitlement to i should be allowed to be in a shirt that has like a wonky lookin smiley face or fuzzy 3D mushroom on it. like i just think the absurd degree of their clownery might hit a lil quicker if i could zone out in a tacosaurus (stegosaurus but a taco) shirt”

my dream in a way came trueee <3

so again disclaimer do not try to google shit in an attempt to figure out where i work but we always have some type promo going to get people buying. and starting today fr easter if people buy fr X amount theyd get a pair of complimentary bunny ears. theyre rlly cute btw my colleagues and i wore them p much all day <3 theyre also put up fr sale WITH a matching lil bag fr kids to collect eggs in (theoretically i guess bc it’s like. fully lined w fabric. its just an open lil bunny purse of like light brown teddy fabric. i suppose you could also take this to the club).

but the conditions are like ok. this action started 1. today 2. starting frm a purchase worth X amount of money 3. u get a pair of bunny ears if you have a child with you present. no “oh i have three kids at home can i take three w me” no only if there is a child present with you THEN you get aforementioned headband w soft lil bunny ears.

which sucks a lil having to disappoint people who spend the money to get there and then i have to tell them im sorry. if you really want the ears you can either purchase a pair. or i can put this stack of clothes aside fr you and you can come back and make the purchase later this week with yr kid present if we still have a stock of free ears left to hand out by then??

but a lady had already been rude to one rlly sweet colleague and then she came in fresh w me trying again and getting real rude when that didnt work as she had planned and she was denied a second time in one afternoon <3 im sorry it was kinda funny like are you not embarrassed..

SO proud of myself tho fr not letting it get to me! she was like WOW i bought for like 80 euros worth of stuff last weekend and didnt get any so?? im just like oh thatd be correct we just got these the action started today :) starting today we are handing out ears. shes like WELL but i made a purchase just yesterday so you cant give me some now? thats kinda ridiculous. what if i return all the stuff i bought and then but it again do i get the ears then? im like yes :) shes like well huff thats just nonsensical!! thats the instructions ive been given ma’am <3 so if i do that THEN i would get the ears thats ridiculous maybe i WILL do that. im just like okie youre free to do that <33 oh if you do be sure to bring yr kids with you though bc otherwise i still wouldnt be allowed to give you anything <3 thats STUPID. :D well i dont make these decisions ma’am the easter action started. today

she kept bitching abt it clearly annoyed that nagging and making a fuss didnt get her her way <3 you shouldve seen her face when i offered that if she really wanted them so bad we also offered them fr sale so she could get as many as she wanted oh my god. she threw down her customer card on the till and i just went like thank you <3 *scans it. do you know how powerful it is to deny a woman the complimentary pair of five euro bunny ears she feels entitled to and feel absolutely zero guilt about that? all the while wearing said bunny ears right on top of your head. i AM the manager.

..... i am not in fact the manager just the one w most seniority present at the time. the actual manager had her day off and if the lady returns and bothers her about it the same way chances are she’ll get two pairs and an apology to boot. but not today and not from me <3 peace and love on planet earth

I pride myself in being very good at covering the bases when I do tours on the docks, but one visitor yesterday asked the question "what are all these boats doing here"

and somehow, in a year of doing tours in the port, it never occurred to me that some people just

don't know that boats have their own little parking buoy or pontoon space to their name on it and a license plate just like cars

I suppose that since boats are made to travel and go very far, it never occurred to that lady that these boats were just- home. just chilling there.

Woke up to the memory of that one time my professor called out something I wrote (in a different class, for a different professor) as an example of laughably bad idea. She described the story in detail for our entire class. She didn't know WHO wrote it, so didn't realize she was literally laughing at someone in the room.

And now I remember why I trust literally no one when they tell me my writing is good. And also why I trust literally no one about anything. And also why I always think every single person I've ever met is laughing at me behind my back.