'mornin', cunts. Last night, I drank some funny juice, & I had enough that my I stopped being able to read or type, & at one point I started the dryer & it ran for half an hour before I noticed it was empty

Sometimes I hate that I love being drunk but.. my family history should have really been a warning sign

HELPP VAMCE IS DRINKING AND SOBBING

[PT: Helpp Vamce is drinking and sobbing. /End PT]

YEAH [PT: yeah. /End PT] it's kinda funny ngl

this drink is dedicated to my friend , he's not dead but it is to me .

my coworkers are ghosting me my partner is ghosting me even my therapist is ghosting me. fuck it all, i guess. i'm gonna get sloshed and watch black sails by myself

Eddie Munson orders a whiskey neat because the guy in a cowboy show he watched one time drank it. and he gags on the first sip. like wow you can really TASTE the alcohol in here. bartender I’ll have your fruitiest cocktail please.

"how could I say no to you, lamb, how could anyone reject communion so close?"

dungeon meshi as a concept is so true cuz I too have lost a fight to a boss because I was hungry

my acid theory is that one day i think spamton broke into queens mansion dressed as swatch (as in: his normal attire) and on its way to the basement he accidentally bumped into queen and was like "H H H HOW [[Howdy]] QUEENIE !!!! [Don't mind lil ol' me] JUST YOU R PAL BUTLER [[Easels]] I MEAN [[Ea-]] [Ea-] [[E] S W A T C H. MAKING HIS WAY. [[Through the corridor]]!!" and theres like a deadbeat silence until queen goes "Oh Hi Swatchie (Sip) (I Have A Drink Did You Know That) (Ho Ho Ho) Didnt See You there. Say Did You Get Shorter" and spamtons just sweating profusely and goes and goes "[[Erm, what the scallop]] I I I I [Eye] I F3LL INTO [[Story of Undertale]] ACID!!!!!!! LAKE !!!!!!!!!!!! AND I THINK MY [[Lower than heavenly]] AMAZING BODY [[Cause of Shrinkflation]] FROM THE ACID TUNNEL. AHEHHEHHAEHAHHAEHAHHAHAEHAE" and then theres another dead silence and queen goes "Oh Damn I Did Not: Know That. Ill Run A Diagnostic For That Thank You For Telling Me Swatchie Hope You Feel Better Soon" And Queen Oh Ho Hos and goes "See You Later Alligator" and scuttles away

this is how it feels to have a really bad mental health day when it's beautiful and sunny and gorgeous outside

cheers astarion! *clinks my shot glass with the used diva cup i gave him*

Did the aliens think it's weird that we drink other animals' milk

Himbs do a slutty sippy

Bruna: Xolo always wants to act sober when he’s drunk, he doesn’t want people to know. It’s so annoying, you can tell when I’m drunk, but he’s so good at hiding it.

Xolo:

anywho. vulpes has a pretty high tolerance for things such as chems and alcohol. this is easier for him to hide in plain sight, basically, able to indulge and drinks and play the part without actually outting himself as a legion member because of their stigma against chems and alcohol. i think he's pretty strict on the no-chems thing, but he genuinely does enjoy the taste of some alcholic drinks (weirdo).

i couldn't even wait for the polls to end hello this is my Kimcom drunken adventures comic.

crowd-sourced opinions as they are atm:

HSY:

KDJ:

YJH: