#dracula the Un-dead
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*Me and the Dracula Daily girlies dragging Dacre Stoker to Bram Stoker's grave to apologize to his granduncle and the polycule*:
Don't read Dracula The Un-dead, but you can be horrified like me reading the plot on Wikipedia 🤢
#dracula daily#bram stoker#dacre stoker#dracula the Un-dead#dracula#quincey harker#mina harker#jonathan harker#my good friend jonathan harker#how could they make this to you?#jack seward#arthur holmwood#this is the kind of fanfic you write when you are 13 and trying to be edgy thinking you are a genius
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read the wikipedia summary for dracula the undead. what on god’s green earth.
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Okay was nobody going to tell me that Bram Stoker's descendant wrote a sequel to Dracula in 2009 and it reads like fanfic or was i supposed to learn this from Wikipedia myself?
Things this novel includes:
everyone having a miserable and unhappy life
everyone dying except the kid
lesbian vampire r*pe scene that absolutely no one needed
the actor who only wants to play Dracula in a theatre play if Dracula isn't portrayed as a total monster unsurprisingly turning out to be Dracula
Dracula not actually dead dead
Dracula not actually being the bad guy arc
Dracula being the father of Mina's son
it somehow reminds me Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker
Dracula turning Mina into a vampire
Dracula killing himself by yeeting over a cliff and burning in the sun
Mina following him down the cliff because her son hates her (because uhhh the Darth Dracula plot thing?)
the son named Quincey going to America by boat to start a new and better life
the boat is the fucking TITANIC???
some boxes labelled with Dracula's actor/real name being loaded onto the boat as well
is Dracula not dead dead again? don't tell me he ships himself off to the US too.
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I’m still not over Dacre Stoker as a concept. Did this brother think that writing skill is passed down genetically, or what? Like even the most annoying academic I’ve seen and have basically zero respect for would write a much better “Dracula”-themed book because these bitches can at least tell what makes Stoker’s language and plot choices tick.
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... Lucy as we had seen her in her life, with her face of unequalled sweetness and purity. True that there were there, as we had seen them in life, the traces of care and pain and waste; but these were all dear to us, for they marked her truth to what we knew.
(Dracula by Bram Stoker)
#to contrast with how unearthly beautiful vampire Lucy (un)dead looked the freed Lucy looks sick and frail but that's how they knew her#this book is written so lovingly I can see how folkslove and relate to book Lucy#Lucy Westenra#Dracula#Bram Stoker#character death#spoilers *#quotations
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A reading of @origami-trust's very good post.
(Get the full meme compilation by joining our Patreon!)
VAN HELSING: I had best go look in on the unhappy couple. They will need strengthening of the spirit, and corn metaphors, in this time of despair. Why is Mina on the ceiling?
JONATHAN: We wanted to see if she could walk on walls.
MINA: Jonathan, look!
JONATHAN: Amazing, darling!
VAN HELSING: Harkers, turning into a damned Un-Dead is not a game.
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Jonathan Harker and Doomed Bride imagery:
-Lenore (May 4th-5th): Directly referenced ('Denn die Todten reiten schnell') on the carriage ride on St. George's Eve, when evil surfaces. Jonathan, covered with flowers and a crucifix, rides with his own disguised Death all night to arrive at his octagonal room and bed, like Lenore who is supposedly led to her marriage bed, which is actually her tomb. Death and the maiden.
-Shahrazad (May 7th-8th): Jonathan, after engaging Dracula in telling him his history, says that his diary resembles the beginning of Arabian Nights. The story's heroine, Shahrazad, is the new bride of a cruel vizier who kills his own wives (on their wedding night). She distracts his wrath and delays her own doom by engaging him in storytelling. She is meant to be the next victim, once he is done with her.
An obvious parallel is May 8th, but that night it's Dracula who speaks. Jonathan is the one who normally tells stories every night, until dawn. “Why, there is the morning again!” Dracula says. Jonathan says that this nocturnal existence has been taking a toll on him.
One thing is for certain. Like her, Jonathan is next.
-Bluebeard's Bride (May 7th+May 12+May 15): Not directly referenced in the novel, however, Jonathan bears a strong resemblance to Bluebeard's new bride being warned by her lord husband to never open a forbidden room in his mansion. She disobeys and enters it. She finds the corpses of his old brides, like trophies, which he had killed. She, again, is meant to be next.
Jonathan gets warned three times and indeed disobeys, opens the room, and finds (un)dead women who the Count once loved. We find out he is to be the fourth eternally entrapped victim in their company.
Two of these stories feature a powerful noble with a brand new wife he intends to kill, like his previous ones. In both stories she delays her fate by being diplomatic and playing along for survival. Two have the theme of execution on their wedding bed. As intimate as a bite on the throat on their final night.
#dracula daily#jonathan harker#and yet Mina is the reincarnated wife...#let the bride kill her predator#bluebeard#lenore#one thousand and one nights#dracula spoilers
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It seems that there's some confusion, but Van Hesling's letter not being delivered (noted at the beginning in the text, at the end in @re-dracula ) is a good thing.
"I write this in case anything should happen. I go alone to watch in that churchyard [...] Therefore I write this in case.... Take the papers that are with this, the diaries of Harker and the rest, and read them, and then find this great Un-Dead, and cut off his head and burn his heart or drive a stake through it, so that the world may rest from him. If it be so, farewell."
Jack Seward would have received the letter if Van Helsing's worst-case scenario happened and he had been killed by Dracula that night. That's why he leaves out instructions in case of his death.
Since the note says it was never delivered, it means that Van Helsing went to the churchyard alone, and lived.
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The blacksmith hammer which I took in the carriage from Veresti was useful; though the doors were all open I broke them off the rusty hinges, lest some ill-intent or ill-chance should close them, so that being entered I might not get out.
+
Before I left the castle I so fixed its entrances that never more can the Count enter there Un-Dead.
The doors were broken off the hinges. So how do we think Van Helsing fixed the entrances so that Dracula could never go in?
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Nesuferitul
So, we’ve gotten to the part in Dracula Daily where Bram Stoker starts throwing around the word nosferatu. Stoker got the word from Emily Gerard, who mentions it in her works on Transylvanian superstitions which Stoker used for research, where she makes it out to be the Romanian word for vampire. In this she is backed up by German writer Wilhelm Schmidt, who also treated it as the Romanian word for vampire.
The word “vampire”, by the way, came to English from French, to French from German, and to German via Hungarian from the Slavic languages. Romanian is not a Slavic language, but a Romance language, as you might guess from the name.
Thing is, there is no such word as “nosferatu” in Romanian. However, other German writers like Heinrich von Wlislocki treat “nosferatu” or “der Nosferat” as a Romanian word, so researchers who have gone down rabbit holes trying to derive it from the Greek for “diseased” or the Latin for “not breathing” or some Slavic basis are, quite frankly, barking up the wrong tree.
Instead, it’s way more likely that “nosferatu” is a Germanicization of a Romanian word before Romanian spelling was standardized, which it wasn’t even in the late nineteenth century.
The Romanian word “nesuferit” literally means “insufferable”. The prefix “ne” indicates the negative, the root “suferi” means “suffer.” However in practice nesuferit doesn’t mean “insufferable” as in “oh, that annoying man is insufferable”. Instead the meaning is much more in the sense of unbearable, offensive, horrible, diseased. It’s a word used to mean “unclean” in a taboo way. To talk about an “unclean spirit” means to talk about an incubus or succubus, something that draws your strength or poisons your soul through sex. Now, the nominative masculine definite form of a Romanian noun adds the suffix -ul. We see this with Vlad II Dracul. Dracul means “The Dragon” with the “the” also communicating male. The addition of “-ea” to “Dracul” as in Vlad III Draculea gets us “Son of the Dragon.” So, something is “nesuferit” if it is horrid or unclean or unbearable, thus “nesuferitul” is “The Horrid One”, etc. It’s male and it’s a thing and it’s awful.
Nesuferitul is an incubus, a male demon that impregnates its victim. The child of a nesuferitul and its victim is born a moroi, a kind of living vampire born (un)dead. Meanwhile, a person who committed some great sin or buried in unhallowed ground or without rites would come back from the dead a strigoi, to feed on the living.
Nesuferitul was transliterated into German as Nosferatu, where it was assumed to be the Romanian word for vampire, but is in fact an incubus. From there it found its way to Bram Stoker, who took it to mean undead. “The Undead” in Romanian would literally be “nemortul”, by the way. Moroi means something like “the nightmarish one”, while strigoi means something like “the screaming one”, and is cognate with terms derived from Latin “strix” or “striga”, which became the root for “witch” in many Romance languages. Interestingly, the Slavic root origin of vampire is also thought to come from a word originally indicating a witch.
Anyways, there you are. “Nosferatu” is not a “real” word, at least, not a real Romanian word, and certainly not the Romanian word for a vampire. But don’t go too hard on Bram Stoker, he was only as good as his sources. This was a hundred years before online search engines, after all.
#the more you know#Ben wrote this#He's the Romanian one#dracula#dracula daily#romanian#nosferatu#nesuferit#nesuferitul#strigoi#moroi#language#etymology#someone's gonna bring up the word necurat#but I didn't want to overcomplicate this#necurat literally means unclean in a way nesuferit only implies#but necurat is much less likely to be turned into nosferat by a German than nesuferit quite frankly#vampires#scream scene podcast#we talk about this in our Nosferatu episode#episode 10 by the way
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He’s Lenore tricked into eloping with the Grim Reaper. He’s Bluebeard’s latest wife set to join the (un)dead menagerie. He’s Shahrazad entertaining for her life. He’s R.M. Renfield locked up with only his thoughts and notes for refuge. He’s Dracula climbing the walls and drawing blood. He’s alive. He’s dead. He’s liminal. He’s the Maiden and he’s Death.
Jonathan Harker is everything and I love all of him.
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First page || Previous page || Next page
Dialogue transcripts:
Panel 1
Van Helsing: Perhaps this king, he has a master to command him and other un-dead, as Count Dracula once wielded poor Miss Lucy—such a fiend as could make for him preparations and plans.
Panel 2
Quincey: Say…There ain’t a chance it coulda been Dracula, is there?
Panel 3
Mina: No. His death happened long before the King’s—the timelines don’t match up at all. He couldn’t have anything to do with it. ...Unless...
Panel 4
Jack: Unless...?
Panel 5
Mina: Unless Dracula turned someone else while he was in England.
Jonathan: Oh, God help us. If that is the case...
Panel 6
Jonathan: ...Then we have a much bigger problem on our hands.
#lxgf#lxgf episode 1#story updates#lxgf abraham van helsing#lxgf quincey morris#lxgf mina harker#lxgf jack seward#lxgf jonathan harker
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Rubber Ducky
Pt. Two
Alec x Fem!Reader
Summary: Alec helps you after the end of a long day.
Warnings
Fluff n' kinda sorta smut-but-not-smut
Either way, NSFW
Alice Cullen. Again.
Word Count: 1.297
A/N: SORRY NOT SORRY. Also, this was requested by a lovely anon. I dunno if it's the same nonny spamming my inbox, but I love you nonetheless, darling.
It was the end of the day, and I was dead on my feet. Working as an assistant to the secretary of the Volturi was a lot more difficult than it looked. I was fairly sure that I was doing most of the work if I was being honest, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless.
Although today had been rougher than usual. I had been doing a lot of back and forth, and running errands in between. Walking around in heels was a chore and my feet were killing me. I was sure I would die from foot pain before I ever had the chance to be turned. And on top of that Alec wasn't back from overseas yet.
I paused in the middle of opening my bedroom door, a sound echoing from the bathroom. Water? I was immediately on full alert. No one in this castle would hurt me, at least not purposefully. And they usually didn't enter my room without permission.
Except Alec.
I rushed towards that bathroom and in my excitement tripped, going down like a ton of bricks.
"Sonofabitch!" I hissed between clenched teeth.
"Y/N?"
I felt a cold hand on my cheek and looked up to see Alec.
"Hi." I winced.
"What happened?"
"I tripped."
He shook his head, carefully checking me over, his hands cold against my skin. No serious injuries, just a small scrape on my knee and thankfully no blood. He pulled me to my feet, giving me a soft kiss in greeting.
"What am I going to do with you, amore?"
"Love me?" I batted my eyes at him with a small grin.
"Hai già il mio cuore, tesoro." He kissed my forehead.
I glared up and him and he smirked in return, knowing full well that I couldn't understand a damn word he was saying.
"Come on, amore. I already have a bath ready for you."
I squeaked as he hoisted me into the air and carried me into my in-suite bathroom. The large marble tub was nearly full, and I was happy to see it was brimming over with bubbles. And then I noticed all the lit candles tucked into nearly every nook and cranny in the bathroom. My eyebrows rose a little as he sat me down and knelt to begin pulling off my heels.
"What's the occasion?"
"Does there have to be one?"
"I suppose not. It's just rare for you to do something like this."
He paused momentarily, rubbing his cool thumb over one of my ankles. "I simply wanted to surprise you."
He then looked at me with a small smile that was very un-Alec-like.
"Are you okay?"
He snorted. "Yes, amore."
He helped me undress, letting his hands linger softly as he caressed my skin and then proceeded to help me enter the tub. I gleefully sank into the water until just the very tip of my nose and my head were seen above the bubbles. I relaxed for a minute before spotting something off. I picked it up and shot Alec an incredulous look.
"Is- is this a rubber duck?"
It most definitely a rubber duck. What made me start to giggle was the fact that not only did Alec bring me a rubber duck for my bath of all things, but it was a vampire rubber duck, with a cute little fangs, a cape and Dracula-looking hairdo to match. My giggles burst into full on laughter until I had tears in my eyes.
"This really made my day. Thank you love."
I looked over to see Alec sitting and watching me, arms crossed on the edge of the tub, that same un-Ale-like smile still on his face.
"Are you not joining me?"
"No cara. Desidero semplicemente sedermi e godermi la tua vista." He said softly, his hand finding its way to my hair and running his hands through it until it came undone from its careful chignon.
I groaned, dropping my head back. "Alec."
"I said that I wouldn't want to get between and your rubber duck."
I burst into another fit of giggles. "That is so not what you said."
He only grinned at me as he rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the loofah on the edge of the tub. After putting a dab of soap on it, he carefully began to wash the back of my neck and arms. Ever so slowly he made his way down, keeping his touch soft and light. I squirmed a little as the loofah brushed over my nipples and further down.
"Alec."
His name came from my lips as a breathy moan. Alec paused, watching me carefully before smirking at me.
"Sì amore?"
At least I knew those words. I got to my knees and pulled him to me by his collar, melding my lips to his. I heard a soft splash as he dropped the loofah, and his hands gripped my waist.
"I missed you, Alec." I breathed when we came back up for air.
Alec didn't reply, choosing to kiss me again and bite my bottom lip softly. Before I knew what was happening, he was sliding into the tub behind me, legs on either side.
"Uhm- babe. You're still fully clothed."
"I know."
I let out a squeak as he pulled me to him, my back to his front, and spreading my legs to prop up on either side of his open knees. I could already feel him hardening behind me and I squirmed a little, confused as to exactly what he was doing.
"Relax, Y/N." He breathed, lips against my neck.
He cupped one of my breasts, thumb flicking over my nipple softly before moving in small circles. His other hand crept downwards to my exposed pussy, quickly sliding his fingers through my wet folds and pushing a finger into me. And then another. Then he somehow managed to graze my clit a little with his thumb. I sucked in a harsh breath, my head falling backwards onto his shoulder. I melted into him and began rocking my hips slowly.
"That's it, pretty girl."
His lips latched onto my neck, sucking gently while his hands continued their assault. The sensations between the heat of the water and the iciness of his skin had me coming undone within minutes. My body tensed as my orgasm flooded through me and I couldn't help but moan his name as I came.
Finally, I collapsed, and he held me to him, placing kisses along my neck and shoulder. We said nothing more, perfectly content to bask in the afterglow. I would definitely repay him in kind, but that was for later. Finally, all cleaned up, he got me out of the tub and wrapped me up in a towel.
"I went ahead and set out your favorite pajamas for you." Alec kissed my cheek and began shucking off his shirt.
"Am I even going to need the pajamas?" I asked as I eyed him appreciatively.
He gave me a chuckle, nodding his head. "Yes. You are practically falling asleep on your feet, love. Go get dressed and I will join you in a moment."
He was right of course. I was exhausted and my orgasm had really taken it out on me, seeing as I was still rather jelly legged. I nodded, but not before turning around and grabbing my new favorite toy from the now empty tub.
Alec paused, giving me a look.
"Really?"
"Yup." I popped the end of the 'p'. "He's gonna go on my nightstand until the next bath time. I present to thee, Count Duckula!"
Alec rolled his eyes and shook his head.
Alice Cullen had been right; his girl had loved the stupid rubber duck. Then he paused in horror. What exactly had Alice seen?
NEXT
{Masterlist} // {Request Guidelines}
Translations (via Google Translate):
Hai già il mio cuore, tesoro.: You already have my heart, darling.
No cara. Desidero semplicemente sedermi e godermi la tua vista.: No, darling. I simply wish to sit and enjoy the sight of you.
Taglist: @rosedpetal @alecvolturi @lack-lust-3rr
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#alec volturi#alec volturi x reader#alec volturi smut#fanfic#reader insert#volturi#fanfiction#twilight
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The transition from 27th September to 28th September is one of my absolute favourite moments of Dracula. It's like:
Van Helsing: Friend John, If you receive this... I'm dead... I've been murdered... not by any normal vampire... but by the Great Vampire... a truly formidable foe... with the strength of twenty men! If I die... if you receive this... it's up to you! You must lead this great fight! You must save humanity from the Un-Dead...
SMASH CUT TO:
John Seward: Cannot believe Van Helsing had me believing in vampires last night.
#i feel like the effect of this has been lost a bit in daily format#in the book you read 28 september immediately after van helsing's goodbye note#and it's both hilarious and terrifying#like what if van helsing is really dead#what if it really is down to jack seward to save humanity...#jack seward#dr seward#abraham van helsing#dracula#dracula daily#27 september#28 september#death mention#liveblogging dracula daily#liveblog
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