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sourwolf-sterek32 · 3 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, language, past drug and alcohol abuse

Previous Chapter

Chapter 20- You're All I Need

Over the next few months, you and Nikki became closer than ever before.

You had opened up to him and exposed your deepest emotions and Nikki shared his own with you in response. The trauma you had both endured as children and the darkness that plagued you both as adults only pulled you closer while you learnt how to navigate the world together away from the darkness and into the light.

Nikki was sober now. No alcohol. No drugs. Nothing. He still struggled with his addiction though. The lure and temptation were always there, but he was strong. Stronger than anyone else you knew.

You both had relapsed a few times, Nikki with alcohol and you with a blade. But you were able to pull each other back up and support each other through those bad days. You spent more time at his mansion than your own house by the beach. He liked having you around and you didn't really want to go back to your empty cottage alone.

Neither of you had put a label on what your relationship actually was, but it didn't need one. He loved you and you loved him. And that was enough.

John Corabi left Mötley Crüe. It was bound to happen, and nobody was surprised. The fans wanted Vince back and the band's latest tour with Corabi was a total failure.

Not long after finding out about Corabi's departure, you received a phone call from Vince and by just simply hearing his voice which shook and sobbed a little less, you knew your brother had come out the other end.

He was out of rehab and sober. He could now look at Skylar's grave and decorate it with flowers for her birthday, and he could finally smile whenever he remembers the funny things she used to do. He was still grieving though. He always would be, but Vince was getting better.

"I'm heading to the store. Do you want anything?" You called out, slipping your boots on.

"Grab some bread, if you can!" Nikki's voice shouted from somewhere in the house followed by his laughter. "Wow, that sounded so fucking domestic."

You snorted softly, "bread it is. I'll be back soon."

Out of all the things Nikki could have asked for, he had to ask for the one thing that the grocery store was running low on. He couldn't have asked for milk or something?

Walking down the bread aisle you spotted one lone loaf sitting on the shelf and you sighed with relief before reaching out just as a tattooed hand grabbed the other side of the packaging at the same time.

You opened your mouth about to fight for a stupid loaf of bread, but your voice died in your throat when you saw who's hand it belonged to.

Tommy Lee.

"Holy shit, Y/N?"

You smiled, "hey Drummer."

Suddenly the world around you faded away and you forgot you were in a grocery store surrounded by random people as you stared at Tommy in person for the first time, in a long time.

"I'm so sorry about Skylar." Tommy quickly said, his hazel eyes saddening as he thought about the little girl that used to follow you around backstage like a shadow.

"Thanks." You replied, glancing down at the ground not knowing what else to say.

Tommy didn't say anything for a moment while he stood there biting his thumb nail. It was a nervous habit he has had ever since high school and it seemed after all these years, he never managed to kick it.

"I've missed you."

You lifted your head at his words and met his gaze as Tommy smiled softly at you.

"I've missed you too." You admitted before he held his arms out silently asking for a hug without trying to force it and you instantly stepped into his embrace before his long arms wrapped around your body tightly.

He rested his chin on top of your head as you closed your eyes, savouring this moment.

It had been too long since you had seen Tommy. You missed him. You missed hugging him.

Slowly, Tommy pulled away but rested his hands on your shoulders holding you in front of him and before you knew what was happening, his lips were meeting yours. You froze for a moment at the unexpected kiss, but was quick to kiss him back, nonetheless.

"Tommy." You whispered against his lips. "This isn't a good idea. You're married."

"I'm sorry." He sighed, pulling away resting his forehead against yours.

"Don't be."

You tilted your head up and placed one last gentle kiss to his lips before taking a step away and smiling sadly at him.

"I'll see you around, Drummer."

You turned and began to walk away.

"Y/N, wait." Tommy called out and suddenly his hand was grabbing your wrist, stopping you.

You let out a pained hiss as his fingers grasped your sleeve. The still healing cut that you had been picking and reopening for the past week suddenly flared in pain.

"Whoa, sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, instantly letting go. "Shit, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

He hadn't grabbed you hard. If it wasn't for the cut, it wouldn't have hurt at all. Tommy might be a little hot headed and easy to start fights when he was drunk at bars, but he was never violent around you. If anything, he was overly gentle, always afraid that he might hurt you by accident, despite you having to constantly reassure him all these years that you weren't some fragile piece of glass.

Although, right now, that was exactly what you felt like.

A fragile piece of glass. Glass that was already cracked and damaged, and on the verge of shattering at the slightest touch.

"You okay?"

You realised that you had taken too long to answer and quickly nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You knew your voice didn't sound convincing, but you gave him a reassuring smile anyway. Tommy stared at you for a moment, those bright hazel eyes full of sudden worry.

"Why are you wearing a jacket? It's like 85 degrees out."

Shit.

"Uh, I've been inside most the day. Didn't realise it was so hot." You lied easily with a shrug of your shoulders.

Tommy didn't say anything for a few seconds, his eyes glancing down to your sleeves before an uneasy expression washed over him. And you knew that he had figured it out because when you were kids, he figured it out too.

Vince had gone off to the beach after school with his friends leaving you alone in the back of Tommy's van.

It had been nearly a week since you and Vince ran away from home. A week since Tommy smuggled you both into his van in the front yard without his parents knowing. And it had been less than 24 hours since you broke your promise and started to cut again.

It was a stupid mistake and you regretted it as soon as you saw the blood. Vince would be so disappointed if he ever found out. He had told you to talk to him if you ever felt like that again, but you didn't.

"Knock, knock!" Tommy's voice called out from outside the van.

You smiled softly, used to his verbal knocking whenever he came out to the van. You sat up and reached over pulling open the side door to find him standing there, his wild brown curls blowing across his face.

"Hey, hitchhiker." He smiled brightly. "I didn't see you much at school."

You only shared a couple classes with him, and you had different friend groups, but the two of you always seemed to cross paths throughout the day between classes and during lunch, but today you had just hidden behind the gym. You weren't in a very sociable mood and didn't want to be around people, especially Tommy because he would be able to tell something was wrong.

"Sorry. Had a lot of work to catch up on." You easily lied.

Tommy stared at you for a moment, his warm hazel eyes glued to yours like he was trying to figure out if you were speaking the truth before he simply nodded and pulled out a small Tupperware container out from behind his back.

"My mum baked heaps of chocolate chip cookies. Figured you and Vinnie might want some."

He held out the container of cookies towards you and your heart fluttered at his kindness.

"Thanks, Drummer." You smiled, holding your hand out to grab them but then Tommy's eyes shifted down to something.

"Hey, what's on your wrist?"

He grabbed your hand and brushed your sleeve up before you even had a chance to register what he was doing and by the time you did, it was too late.

A shocked gasp escaped his lips when he saw the self-inflicted cuts carved into your skin. The container of cookies slipped from his hand and dropped to the floor of the van as he took a step back, his hazel eyes widening in shock.

"Did you... did you do that to yourself?" He asked, unable to process what he was staring at.

You hastily pulled the sleeve back down and folded your arms across your chest so he couldn't see, but it was too late to hide it.

"Don't worry about it." You dismissed, looking away from him.

"Don't worry about it?" Tommy repeated in disbelief. "Y/N, are you... do you want to... did you try to kill yourself?"

Your head snapped back in his direction so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash, "no!"

"Then why did you do that?"

He didn't sound judgemental or look angry. He just seemed sad and confused, which was worse.

"It's none of your business."

"If I find you dead inside my fucking van, then yeah, it is my business!" Tommy responded, his voice rising a little as he spoke before he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"That's not going to happen. I only did it because the pain... it helps." You tried to explain but Tommys brows furrowed in confusion. "I don't expect you to understand, it's okay. But if it makes you feel better, I regret doing it and it won't happen again."

He nodded and remained quiet for quite some time, but to your surprise, he didn't run off. He remained standing by the side of the van watching you carefully.

"Did you treat it?"

His question caught you off guard as you blinked and glanced over at him, his eyes glued to your hidden wrist.

"What?"

"Did you treat the cuts? I don't want them to get infected."

Oh. Oh.

He was worried about it getting infected. That hadn't even occurred to you. It should have, but it didn't.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

"My parents aren't home. There's a first aid kit in the bathroom. Let's go get it cleaned up." He said, holding his hand out towards you. "C'mon."

You stared at his hand for a moment before shaking your head.

"It doesn't matter." You whispered, looking away from him. "I don't care if it gets infected."

"Well, I care."

"You shouldn't." You muttered quietly, glaring at the blanket beside you like it had personally offended you, instead of meeting Tommys eyes. "I mean, look at me. I'm fucked up-"

"You're not fucked up."

You chuckled almost hysterically and shook your head.

"I am. I know I am. I'm fucked up. I'm broken, Tommy and I-I can't be fixed. I know that. I mean who does this? And you know what the real screwed up thing actually is? I-I like it. There I said it, I like it. I like the pain and I know I need to stop, but it's the only thing that helps. The pain... the pain helps, and I don't... I don't-"

"Hey, hey, breathe. Y/N, just breathe." Tommy quickly said noticing that you were working yourself up into a panic and you realised that you were in fact not breathing.

You couldn't breathe.

Shit, you couldn't fucking breathe.

"It's okay, just breathe. Deep breath in, come on. Breathe in, one... two... three. Breathe out, one... two, three. Good. Good. And again." Tommy coached climbing inside the van and sitting beside you.

His hand grasped your shoulder gently as he sucked in deep deliberate breaths for you to copy.

You stared at his necklace, focusing on the silver chain like a lifeline while you mimicked his breathing. Tommy continued to coach you verbally, your eyes glued to the chain trying to focus and after a few minutes your breathing slowly started to even out. You looked away from the necklace, your eyes locking with his beautiful hazel ones.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." You sighed. "You didn't- you didn't sign up for this. Just, go. I'm sorry."

You lowered your head fiddling with the loose thread on your jeans, too afraid to look at him as silent tears trickled down your cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere." Tommy replied. "You're more than just Vince's sister. I care about you, Y/N. Please, come into the house so I can clean the cuts properly. Please."

You tilted your head up and met his concerned eyes before you nodded, "okay."

"Show me." Tommy ordered still standing in the bread aisle of the grocery store as he stared at you with sad knowing eyes.

You blinked in surprise, "w-what?"

"Your arm. Show me your arm." He said again taking a step forward.

"Uh, no." You said, simultaneously taking a step back. "Why?"

Tommy sighed, "you know why. Show me your arm."

You held his gaze as he raised his eyebrows at you impatiently because he knew exactly what you were trying to hide beneath the sleeve.

"Fine." You sighed, lifting the sleeve of your right arm that you knew was bare. "Happy now? I gotta go."

"Your other arm." He quickly said before you could walk off. "Show me your other arm."

You opened your mouth to respond but then an elderly couple walked down the aisle and came to a stop beside you while they stared at the limited selection of food on the shelves. You closed your mouth quickly not wanting other people to overhear this conversation and Tommy seemed to catch on because he remained silent too.

Tommy held your gaze, his eyes filled with so many emotions it was hard to decipher any of them before his eyes flicked over to the elderly couple that had finally chosen their wholemeal wraps and were walking away.

"How many times?" Tommy asked once they were out of earshot because he didn't need to see the evidence to know what you were refusing to show him.

You sighed, "too many."

Tommy lowered his head grabbing hold of the shelf beside him as he sucked in a deep breath before meeting your gaze once again and you were taken back when you saw tears shining in his eyes.

"Look, I-I know I have no right to tell you what to do, but don't do this to yourself. Please."

"Tommy-" You tried to say, but he kept talking.

"I was so scared when we were kids. Even after you and Vince moved out the van, I worried about you. I didn't want to lose you back then and I can't lose you now."

"You're not going to lose me." You insisted.

His eyes shifted down to your arms folded across your chest hiding the cuts, "you sure about that?"

"If you asked me that a few months ago, my answer would have been no." You admitted causing Tommy's eyes to sadden. "I... I wasn't okay. I... maybe I'm still not okay, but I'm getting better. I'm trying to get better, and Nikki is helping me."

A look of relief washed over him at your words.

"Sixx mentioned that he was in contact with you again." Tommy replied smiling softly. "I'm glad that he's helping. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you-"

"Tommy, don't." You shook your head at him. "I left. And you have a wife. You have your own life to deal with. I'm okay."

He tilted his head with a sad smile, "but you're not okay."

You took in a deep breath and nodded.

"But I will be."

Those big hazel eyes softened as he stared at you before you leant forward and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

"I should go." You whispered, stepping back giving him a small smile. "It was nice seeing you again, Tommy."

You turned and began to walk away before he called out your name.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?" You said, turning back around just as he tossed you the loaf of bread.

You caught the bread with one hand and Tommy gave you a friendly smile as you nodded your thanks before walking away.

A few days later you were sitting on Nikki's bed strumming away at his acoustic guitar to the tune of Home Sweet Home when he walked into the bedroom and tossed a magazine down on to the blanket in front of you.

You stopped playing the guitar and looked down at the magazine in confusion until you saw the picture that was covering the front page.

It was you and Tommy kissing at the grocery store with the title: 'Tommy Lee Steps Out On Heather With Y/N Neil'

Your stomach dropped.

Fuck.

You and Nikki hadn't put a label on whatever it was that the two of you had going on. So, you had absolutely no idea how he was going to react. But as you looked away from the magazine to gauge his reaction, you found the bassist smiling softly.

"You still love him, don't you?" He asked, but it was clear he already knew the answer.

You had known Tommy for a long time. The two of you were never close in high school, but when Vince had shown up on his doorstep with you injured in the car and asked for a place to stay, Tommy never hesitated.

He had been there for you from the very start. To sleeping in his van, to looking after you whenever you had migraines, to ditching his honeymoon to be there for you during the miscarriage and everything in between.

"I do. I love him." You admitted, staring back down at the magazine. "I'm sorry."

Nikki walked over taking the guitar from your lap and resting it against the wall before he stood beside the bed and gently pulled your body into his stomach wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

You reached up and wrapped your arms around his midsection leaning against his side as he bent down and placed a kiss to the top of your head.

"It's okay to love two people at the same time." He whispered stroking your hair gently. "It's not like Tommy and I haven't shared you before."

"Wait, but-"

You pulled away as Nikki released you and you looked up to find the bassist smirking happily.

"I want to get the band back together."

Holy shit.

Really?

He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for your hand lacing your fingers together.

"For so long, I thought it was about... what did you used to call us? The Terror Twins?" Nikki began to say, and you smiled with a small nod. "Tommy and I... we thought it was about us for so long. We forgot that we were a team, and Vince was the quarterback. We forgot what made us Mötley Crüe: the chance collision of four very different, very flawed, and very difficult personalities and the girl that kept us together."

"Nikki-"

"I haven't given up on Mötley Crüe." He stated, squeezing your hand. "Can you help me?"

You grinned, "hell yes."

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #motley crue #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #motley crue x reader #motley crue fanfiction #vince neil #mick mars #the dirt #pov #douglas booth #mgk

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storiesforallfandoms · 2 years

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need help ~ nikki sixx;the dirt

word count: 1789

request?: yes!

“The dirt Nikki sixx x female reader, the reader been best friends with Nikki sense they were kids and became friends through them having terrible home lives, when motley Crüe started up she was their cheering him on. The reader also been in love with Nikki for a long time but when Nikki starts taking heroin she ends up finding him and taking care of him and this happens more than once but after he overdoses the reader snaps and says that she can’t keep watching the man she loves doing heroin. Please and thank you”

description: after finding her friend overdosing, they have a heavy talk about his addiction and his desire to get help

pairing: nikki sixx x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, mentions of overdosing, lil angst?

masterlist (one, two)

It wasn’t the first time I had found Nikki in the midst of one of his highs. In fact, it was becoming such a regular occurrence that I usually expected Nikki to be high as a kite whenever I went to see him.

What I didn’t expect this time around was to find him almost dead. Or...I guess completely dead.

I had gotten a call from one of his junkie friends - also nothing new. He sounded frantic and scared as he tried to tell me there was something wrong with Nikki. I thought at first that maybe he was just too high and was freaking out because Nikki was also high, so I wasn’t too alarmed at first. I drove to the address that the guy had given me, convinced that I was going to have to carry Nikki back home yet again and nurse him through his heroin hangover.

When I showed up to the house and found it completely abandoned, a feeling of dread started to grow in me. I walked into the house to find Nikki on his own, passed out, with ghostly pale skin and dried vomit on his mouth and chest. My heart stopped as I fell next to Nikki and checked his pulse. When I couldn’t find one, I immediately called 911.

The ride to the hospital was mostly a blur. The paramedics let me ride with Nikki, but I was basically curled up in an anxiety filled ball as I watched them trying to operate on Nikki. Just when I had lost all hope of him being helped, one of the paramedics injected him with something and he gasped back to life.

Nikki was put in a hospital room to make sure the drugs fully left his system before he was discharged. They allowed me to stay with him since he had no other immediate family to call. I slept in the chair by his bedside while he went through his detox, which was probably the most uncomfortable I had ever been. But I didn’t want to leave until I knew Nikki was okay. I wanted him to wake up so I could tell him that I couldn’t keep doing this.

I was eating a bland hospital food meal when Nikki woke up. I watched him slowly come to life before taking in his surroundings. He turned his head and focused his attention on me.

“(Y/N)? Where am I?” he asked.

“The hospital,” I responded. “Do you remember much about last night?”

He shook his head. “I don’t remember anything.”

“You...um...well, you overdosed, Nik. Your heart stopped and everything. One of the paramedics managed to re-start it in the ambulance.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t read his facial expression, but I assumed he was shocked by this news. Or at least I hoped he was.

I sat at the edge of my chair, looking down at my hands. I couldn’t look at him. The words bubbling in my throat were hard to get out.”

“Nik, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

I started picking at my hands. My vision was becoming blurry, but I refused to let Nikki see. I had to remain strong so I didn’t back down from this decision.

“I can’t keep watching you nearly kill yourself with drugs. I can’t keep finding you high out of your mind and having to take care of you until you’re well enough to shoot up again.”

“What are you saying, (Y/N)?”

I took a deep breath and forced out, “I can’t be friends with you while you’re like this, Nikki. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

Silence filled the room. I was picking at a hangnail on my thumb until I accidentally made it bleed. I stuck my thumb in my mouth to try and combat the bleeding, which resulted in me finally looking up at Nikki. He was looking at me with sad eyes. I was a little caught off guard by the reaction and felt guilt building inside of me.

“You...you don’t want to be friends anymore?” he asked. “(Y/N), we’ve been friends since we were in diapers. You really want to end all that?”

I nodded. “I have to, Nikki. I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t good for me, and I can’t come to your rescue and worry that I’m going to find you dead permanently.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“I didn’t think so either, until I walked into a crack house to find you unresponsive and alone.”

“That’s because those idiots left me. That won’t happen again.”

I shook my head. My guilt was quickly being replaced with anger. He wasn’t understanding what I was saying. He wasn’t understanding the severity of the situation I had found him in the night before. He wasn’t going to get clean, he was just thinking about when he could get his next high.

I had to get out of there. I was no longer worried that I would go back on my decision, but rather I was worried of what I might say while angry. I got up from my chair, my body aching from being there for so long, and collected my things to leave.

“So this is it?” Nikki questioned as I headed for the door. “A lifetime of friendship and you’re throwing it away while I’m recovering from a near death experience?”

“Don’t give me that shit, Nikki!” I snapped. “It wouldn’t have been a near experience if it weren’t for me! In fact, there has probably been a number of times I’ve saved your ass. And do I get so much as a ‘thank you, (Y/N)’, ‘I appreciate you, (Y/N)’, ‘I’ll stop taking drugs and nearly killing myself, (Y/N)’?”

“I never asked you to do any of that.”

“No, you didn’t, but I still did. Because I love you. And I can’t watch the man I love killing himself anymore!”

The silence that hung between us was thicker now. I felt a wetness on my cheek as I realized I had finally let the tears start falling. This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted to say, but now it was out there and I couldn’t take it back.

I quickly threw myself out of Nikki’s hospital room. I made a beeline for the elevator, trying to put as much distance between me and that room as I could.

At least admitting my feelings made it easier for him to let me go, I thought to myself.

The sudden sound of hospital machines beeping followed by voices yelling drew my attention back to Nikki’s room. The brunette rock star was trying to shove past the number of hospital staff that was trying to coax him back into his room.

“Sir, you’re still detoxing, you have to go back to your room until the doctor discharges you,” a nurse was saying as she tried to push Nikki back into his room.

“I’ll go back in if she comes with me,” Nikki said, pointing towards me.

I felt my face heat up with embarrassment as the staff looked at me. “Nikki, you have to finish your treatment. Go back in and I’ll come see you when you’re better.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said. “I think if you walk out now that I’ll never see you again, and you can’t leave me after what you just told me.”

It felt like my throat was closing over from trying to hold back the fresh tears welling in my eyes. I managed to choke out, “I can’t.”

Nikki finally managed to break away from the staff trying to restrain him and rushed over to me. Before I could realize what he was doing, his hands were grabbing my face and his lips were on mine. It was far from being the picture perfect kiss you see in romantic comedies. It was rough and almost felt desperate. But it was a kiss, and I couldn’t help but get lost in it because it was something I had been dreaming of for years.

It was broken up when two hospital guards appeared and grabbed Nikki, forcing him away from me and back to his room. He tried to fight against them, but when he saw that I was following them now he stopped and allowed them to put him back in his bed and hook him back up to the machines he had been attached to.

I sat back down in the uncomfortable chair and we were right back to where we had been moments before, as if the last ten minutes hadn’t happened at all.

“So,” I started, “was that...real?”

He gave me a funny look. “How could it not be real?”

“I don’t know, it could’ve just been a tactic to get me to come back into the room.”

Nikki chuckled a little. “You don’t think there’s even the smallest possibility that I did that because I also have feelings for you and I didn’t want you to walk away without me telling you that?”

I shrugged my shoulder, which caused him to laugh again. “You’re so cute.”

It was hard not to smile when he said that, but I quickly wiped the smile from my face. “I still mean what I said, though. This admitting that we have feelings for one another isn’t going to change my mind. If anything, I’m much more firm on my decision that I’m not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself.”

Nikki sighed and nodded his head. “I know. I have a problem, (Y/N). I didn’t want to admit it, but I always knew that I did. I crashed Tommy’s wedding because I was high, I’ve ruined friendships, I almost died. I almost lost you. It’s just not worth it anymore. I can’t keep living like this.”

I moved closer to his bed and took his hand in mine. When his eyes met with mine I felt like my breath was taken away. He was always so handsome, even now when he was being his most vulnerable with me. Especially now that he was being his most vulnerable with me.

“We’ll get you help, Nik,” I told him. “There’s plenty of good rehab facilities you can go to, or you can try and do it on your own without the help of professionals. Either way, I’m going to be by your side every step of your recovery.”

“And when I’m clean, I’m going to do what I should’ve done a very long time ago and I’m going to take you out on a proper date.”

I smiled again at him and said, “It sounds like a deal.”

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx x reader #Douglas Booth #douglas booth imagine #douglas booth x reader #the dirt #Motley Crue #motley crue imagine #netflix #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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oskea93 · 4 months

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Keep it to Yourself (1)

✶ Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warning: This story will contain scenes of drug/alcohol use, sexual content, mentions of death, overdose, physical and emotional abuse. Please read at your own risk. I do not own rights to Motley Crue or any other famous person mentioned. Portions of this story will be pulled from Motley's book and film The Dirt as well as The Heroin Diaries. There will be parts that are complete fiction as well.

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27, @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog, @makaelahdelvalle

Author's note: Hello everybody! It's been a while since I thought about this story but now I want to bring it back to life. I think I rewatched The Dirt about 20 times in the past couple of days (Thanks snowstorm!) and i've been thinking about this story and all the other amazing Crue stories that are on Tumblr. So, with that being said - I have decided to rewrite Keep it to Yourself. I went back and read the original version and I want to revamp it in a way. I've changed a couple things and I hope to make it better than before. If you were tagged in the original version, I went ahead and just tagged you for this new update. If you would like to be removed, just let me know and I will take you off. If you aren't a part of the taglist and would like to be, just let me know and I will get you added. I hope you enjoy the new and improved Keep it to Yourself!

“Bryant –“ He paused. “I know I’m probably the last voice you wanna hear on your answering machine, but I desperately need your help right now.” A breathy sigh blew through the speaker. “I’m at my wits end and I have no idea what to do with him.”

I stared at the device – my hand curled against my mouth as his words flowed through my living room. “The drugs are constant – he’s high 24/7 – Half the time I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead when I get into his room. It’s not just him – they’re all fucked – but he’s the only one with one foot in the casket.”

How he got my number remained a mystery. They made him millions of dollars – more money than the man could even count – yet he was calling me about his issue. From the beginning, I told him that it would only get worse. The guy had issues way before he formed Motley – way before the money and fame came into the picture. Sure - he dabbled in drugs before hitting peak stardom, but the money was there, and he was a kid in a candy store.

“I know the two of you ended on such a sour note, but I feel like you’re the only one that can truly help him get out of this fucking mess. He needs you – I – we all need you, Bryant.” He went on to leave the number to the hotel they were staying at for the night. Begging one last time for my help. I must’ve played the damn message 10 times – each time making my anger rise. Doc was the one who let it get to this point – he fueled the fire when it should’ve been sprayed out years ago. He pushed the drugs in their direction – Nikki was always a step ahead though. He attracted the slime that had the harder, faster drugs. The drugs that would make him feel nothing when in reality his whole fucking world was crumbling down…

I continued to move the spoon around the cup, the sugar long dissolved by now. I was so lost in my own thought – Doc’s words swirling around in my brain.

“You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” The brunette in front of me asked. “I know that look and that look tells me that you’re giving in.”

Hannah Hastings was the first person I met when I moved to South Carolina. She was an event planner – a free spirit in a Dynasty like world. She would spend hours on my couch, a bottle of wine being shared, as I spilled my entire life story into her lap. She knew all about my history with Nikki – how we met – our marriage – and the demise of our relationship.

I let out a sigh, “I don’t wanna go but something’s telling me that if I don’t –“ I paused. “If I don’t go, he’s gonna end up dead and then I’ll be blaming myself. At least if I go and say I tried and I don’t succeed, I won’t beat myself up if something does happen to him. Like – It’s not even a matter of if – it’s a matter of when.”

“He was such an asshole though, Bryant. The man was toxic to you-“She reached across the table taking my hand in hers. “I don’t want to see you get hurt or worse. You know how drug addicts are – he could get violent and not even realize it until it’s too late.”

During the three years we were together, he never laid a hand on me. I was the one who had the heavy touch. Sure, we had awful arguments that pushed me to the point of slapping and pushing him away, but he always stormed off before touching me. The drugs at the time weren’t as hardcore as they are now though. I could walk in his house and come back out with a bullet hole this time. Hannah was right – drugs fucked with people’s brain – I’m sure Nikki was already there.

“Are you gonna tell Wyatt?”

I slumped back in my seat at the thought of telling my Uncle Wyatt. To say he hated Nikki would be an understatement. He warned me from the beginning that Nikki Sixx would be nothing but trouble, but I didn’t listen. He was used to guys like Nikki – being a kid from the wrong side of the tracks himself. He made a promise that he would do everything he could to protect me from men like Nikki. We only had each other and when Nikki came into the picture, the worst type of thoughts ran through his head. He knew what guys like Nikki did to girls like me – innocent until proven insane. It happened to my mother – her infatuation sending her straight to the grave.

“I figured I would just call him when I got to California-“Her eyes growing large. “You know so he can’t talk me out of it or worse come and get me.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “You know I love you and I’ll support you in any way –“I felt a “but” coming along. “But –“She smiled. “This is one decision I’m very wary about, Bryant.”

I felt the same way. I had multiple scenarios playing like film reels over and over in my head. Some pretty good while others resembled horror movies. Even I knew that Nikki’s reaction to seeing me would not be a good one. He broke my heart, and I broke his even worse. Besides the band, I was his only true constant. He barely had any family – his grandparents living states away – not even aware of their grandson’s antics. Sure, the art of touring and going to different states brought about groupies and so-called friends but he didn’t have anyone to call or return home to. I was that person for him.

“You and me both, sister…”

I waited for the line to connect – the operator being nice enough to connect me straight to his room. Doc and I didn’t really have a relationship. He was Motley’s manager and at the time I was just a wife. I was glad the guys had him at first – their success was growing like a wildfire but that was because of their drive for stardom – Doc was just there lending a helping hand. He was extremely pissed when I ended things with Nikki. His own mouth spewing curse words my way once Nikki was served with divorce papers.

It makes the band look bad when a member gets divorced.

Nikki refuses to get out of bed and it’s all your fucking fault.

Girls all over the world would stay with Nikki no matter what – cheating, drugs – Learn to turn a blind eye.

“Hello?” I sat straighter as Doc’s voice sounded – my thoughts suddenly escaping me. “Hello?”

“It’s me.” My voice cracking. “I – uh – I got your message.”

“Oh, thank God, Bryant.” He sounded relieved. “I was worried that I would miss your call –“He paused. “Or if you would even call at all.”

I stayed silent – not really up for conversation.

“Listen, I know this is a bit of a tall ask, but I really do need your help. Nikki – hell all the guys for that matter – are ticking fucking time bombs. Nikki’s clock is etching closer to midnight ever second the fucker breaths – and I pray every night that he’s still doing so. He’s high ever second of every day. He shoots up when he wakes and right before he passes out for the night. I have no idea what he’s even taking anymore. Shooting up, snorting, smoking – he’s the walking picture of Nancy Reagan’s campaign.”

My grip on the phone tightened as he spoke – realizing that he was more far gone than thought.

“I need you to come out here and help us deal with him. I think Doug and Fred can deal with the other three, but we can’t get through to Nikki. Fuck, it’s not even Nikki anymore that we’re dealing with. He’s so mean and terrible to be around. His moods go from zero to sixty – it’s even worse when he’s coming down. Poor Tommy’s getting married, and I can’t even imagine Nikki standing up there with him when he’s high off his ass. You’re the only one that I think can get through to him – he still loves you, Bryant.”

He still loves you, Bryant.

Maybe the old version of Nikki was still in love, but I can assure you the drugged-up version was only in love with his high. That was Doc’s way of trying to lure me in – telling me that Nikki still loved and cared about me. I still loved and cared for the guy too – the Nikki I met at a 7-Eleven almost 6 years ago. Pre-Motley Crue – before the fame, drugs, egos, and women.

“I’ll pay for your ticket out here and everything if you agree, Bryant.” He stressed. “I’m desperate – he’s gonna die if we don’t do something.”

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes, asking myself if I really wanted to do this. It was a constant battle with my head and my heart. My brain was yelling at me to tell Doc to fuck off, but my heart couldn’t deal with the thought of Nikki no longer being here. “You think seeing me will snap him out of this spiral?”

“I think seeing you will probably piss him off more but at least I know you’ll be there and have the chance to stop him.”

My brows furrowed at his comment, “You’re making it sound like I’m gonna be with him at all times?”

His silence confirming my question. “You can’t expect me to stay in the same house, hotel room, or wherever with Nikki –“

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, Bryant.” He cut me off. “I need that man to have constant surveillance – can’t put a bodyguard in there with him. He needs to have someone that he’s familiar with – someone that’s gonna remain sober and not give into his advances.”

“Then why don’t you stay with him then?” My attitude starting to come out.

“I’d end up killing him and then all of this would be for nothing.”

I shook my head as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I could hear Doc’s voice as he continued to talk. “Listen-“ I spoke up, cutting his sentence off. “I will come out there but I’m only there for a week. Once that week is up, whether he’s getting help or not, I’m going back home.”

“That’s not gonna work, Bryant.” He huffed. “He gets more fucked up when he’s out on the road than he does at home. These fuckers waiting in back alleys and backstage – knowing that he’s looking to score – that’s where I need you the most.

I’d been on tour with Motley when they were first getting their feet wet. I watched as they performed their first gig at the Starwood and then when they were opening for bigger acts like Ozzy. Going on tour with four men – the four Motley men was not for the faint of heart. I saw more body parts than I cared to see. Drugs, alcohol, and women were being pushed in their direction – more so as their popularity grew than before. Nikki and I shared a bunk and even that got old after a while. Living with four men for months on end would cause any woman to eventually lose it. Nikki and I were constantly fighting. Hell, I was fighting with everyone, even Mick at times. This was their dream, and it was my absolute living hell.

“I don’t th-“

“What do I need to do so you will say yes? Walk on water – swallow arsenic? Please, Bryant. I have never been so desperate in all of my life.” His voice wavering. “You were in love with this man at one point – I believe you may still love him. Just remember the reason why you fell in love with Nikki and do it for that reason."

#nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #fanfiction #motley crue fanfic #nikki sixx imagine #mick mars #vince neil #douglasbooth!nikkisixx #douglas booth fanfiction #douglas booth #colson baker #iwan rheon #the dirt #the dirt movie #tommy lee #douglas booth imagine

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michelle-is-writing · 1 year

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Left Behind ch.2, Nikki Sixx

Word Count: 1.3k~

Read Chapter 1 here!

TW!: mention of prior drug and alcohol use, rehab, slight angst

Five months of being back in Los Angeles had proven to be just the same as when Nikki and I lived in Los Angeles all that time ago. The only difference was the new apartment I lived in and, of course, Nikki. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night we broke up, and it’s been slowly weighing on me as time goes on. Now six months pregnant, I try to find things that once made me happy like before, but it hasn’t been easy.

I don’t know how Nikki’s doing right now; I don’t even know where he is. The guys called me a lot when I first left, but I never answered their calls, and eventually, they slowly stopped. The only time I answered was when Mick tried calling me, and I explained where I had moved to and why; I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant, however. I hardly even turned on the TV anymore, too afraid to see a news report concerning his death from an overdose, only to be revived in an ambulance afterward.

Hearing what happened made me want to go to him and just make sure he was okay, but I felt like I couldn’t. I knew I was probably the last person he wanted to see, and sadly, I didn’t want to see Nikki the way I saw him before I left, strung out and barely holding onto himself as the heroin constantly coursed through his body. I don’t want memories like that coming to mind when my little girl eventually asks about her father. I want to be able to talk about the good moments we had before everything came crashing down, and I ended up where I am now.

Getting home from my shift as a hospital receptionist, I sit down on my couch and rest as my back relaxes from the reduced straining caused by my large bump. I didn’t think I’d be this big until maybe the last couple of months, but that’s not too far away. I just wish the swollen feet would go away. Out of everything, that has to be the worst part of my pregnancy.

Hearing a knock at my front door, I lift my head from the back of the couch and look toward it. In the time I have rented this place, no one ever comes to my door, not even solicitors.

Standing up from my couch, I walk over to the door before looking out the peephole, only to see an all too familiar figure. However, there are a few differences between him now and the last time I saw him. A small noticeable difference is the small strip of hair growing down his chin. On the other hand, the major difference is the healthy look he has, all while being nervous as he stands in front of my door. I’ve never seen Nikki insecure about anything, always finding confidence from somewhere.

Unlatching my door, I open it, Nikki’s eyes instantly catching mine as he comes into my full view. He doesn’t look sick like he used to, with the skin around his eyes no longer holding a purple hue to it and his cheeks appearing a tad fuller. By the looks of it, Nikki might even pass as clean to someone, but for me, I find myself in disbelief at the thought. I can’t assume anything and make myself hopeful like so many times before.

“Hi,” I murmur, completely lost as I stare at the man in front of me. He shyly smiles back, also appearing lost for words. Mick must’ve told him where I was since I haven’t told anyone else.

“Hi, baby,” he responds, his eyes flickering down to my noticeable bump before flashing back to mine, now wet with tears. “I’ve missed you, a lot… You have no idea.”

“Where have you been, Nikki?” I can’t help but ask, taking a step outside my door to fully face him. His arms awkwardly linger by his sides, not quite knowing what to do with them. A long time ago, Nikki would have instantly taken the chance to pull me close, but now, his actions are halted by uncertainty.

“In all honesty, I’ve been in rehab for the past several months,” he confesses, my eyebrows jolting in slight shock at his revelation. “Me and the guys, we all checked ourselves in. And now, we’re finally clean,” Nikki adds, his smile shining with a bit of pride now. At the same time, I also feel myself proud of him despite everything else.

“That’s great, Nikki,” I tell him, watching a tear slip from his eye. My instincts tell me to wipe it away from his cheek, but the hurt that remains holds me back from doing so.

“I-I know what I said when you left was horrible, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am,” Nikki tells me, causing the harsh memories to flow back into my mind. “I’m so sorry, baby. I never wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry I did,” he continues, making me tear up as he steps forward to cup my cheek in his hand. “My memories of us were the only thing getting me through withdrawals, and every time I thought about the night you left, I broke down. I never wanted to lose you, and I never wanted you to go through anything alone.”

My eyes squeezed close at his last comment, the reminder of what he used to say to me, making my heart clench in my chest. “Two against the world,” I can hear his voice from long ago say. The words were a reminder that I wasn’t alone in anything I did; I had someone there to catch me if I fell. But I’ve been alone for a while now, and it’s not that easy for me to just open myself up to him all at once like before, unfortunately.

Seeing his eyes linger on my belly, I find the courage to take his hand in mine and rest it against my bump. “Why don’t you come inside, and we can talk some more,” I suggest, his hand ever so gentle as he runs it against my sweater. “I can show you pictures of our baby girl too, if you’d like,” My voice ends up in a whisper as I say the words I’ve wanted to tell Nikki ever since I discovered our baby’s sex.

At my comment, Nikki looks back at my face with even more tears clouding his eyes before pressing his lips to mine in the softest kiss Nikki has ever given me. His hand still remains on my belly, albeit his fingers are now intertwined with mine. I didn’t think I’d get to do this with Nikki again; I didn’t even know if I’d ever get to see him again.

Pulling away from the kiss, Nikki’s smiling face lingers in front of mine as he rubs his thumb against my cheek. His touch still remains gentle, careful with every move he makes. “I’d love to, baby,” he answers me, his voice choked up a bit. “I’d love to more than anything.”

Smiling back, I can’t help but feel more tears begin falling from my eyes. This feels almost unreal to me, and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of emotions hit me all at once. Nikki holding me just like he used to is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced, and as he wipes away my incessant tears, I realize just how amazing this moment is. Nikki is clean, he knows about his little girl, and he’s finally back. The Nikki I once loved is back.

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littlecrow-rogue · 1 month

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Trough the Lens: A Mötley Crüe fanfiction - Chapter One

Hi!

So the other day I made a post aboute writing a Mötley Crüe Nikki Sixx x OC fanfiction.

I did it!

I am bit nerves posting it cause english is not my first language so this was a bit hard, and even tho I asked some help from Google and transolaters to fix my grammer mistakes probobly there are still some mistakes left or wrong usage of words. But I hope it's still enjoyable.

If you read this have fun and let me know if you think and if you'd like a second chapter for it.

XoX - V

Chapter 1: "The Beginning"

The band members of Mötley Crüe sat huddled around a cluttered table in Nikki's flat, the air thick with anticipation and the remnants of their brainstorming session. Empty beer bottles mingled with scattered papers, evidence of their search for the perfect promotional plan and a testament to the chaos of their creative minds.

Tommy tapped his fingers impatiently against the table, his dark eyes darting restlessly around the room in search for inspiration. The weight of their first gig hung heavy in the air, a silent reminder of the task at hand.

Suddenly, Nikki's voice shattered the silence, cutting through the haze of uncertainty that had settled over them.

"Alright, guys, time to get down to business," he declared, his tone commanding attention.

Vince lounged back with a smirk, tossing out a suggestion that earned a mixture of amusement and disdain

"A little spray-painted graffiti on the side of Sunset Boulevard could drum up some serious buzz”

Nikki shook his head with a wry smile.

"As much as I appreciate the guerrilla marketing approach, we need something more polished," he said, running a hand through his tousled hair as he leaned forward, his gaze fixed on his bandmates.

Mick nodded in agreement.

Nikki arched an eyebrow, his gaze locking onto Tommy’s with a curious intensity.

"Do you have any ideas, Tommy?"

A mischievous grin spread across Tommy's face as he leaned back in his chair, confidence radiating from every pore.

"Actually, I do," he declared, capturing the attention of his bandmates.

"My sister, Katie, she's a photographer. She could help us make some flyres with some killer shoots."

The mention of Tommy's sister piqued the band's interest. They had heard stories about Katie Lee, Tommy mentioned her a lot, but none of them had ever met her.

Mick, ever the pragmatist, cut to the heart of the matter with a single question.

"Is she any good?" he asked, his skepticism evident in his gravelly voice.

Tommy's response was immediate.

"She's incredible," he declared, his voice brimming with pride.

"She's been working as a photographer in downtown LA for the past two years, but she has been obsessed with photography since we were kids. Trust me, guys, she's the real deal. "

Vince grinned.

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go pay Katie a visit and see if she can work her magic for us."

As their car glided to a halt in front of SutterLux Studios, the first thing that caught their eyes was the imposing sign, polished to a mirror like perfection, a testament to the studio's prestige as it boldly announced its name to the world. It stood as a beacon of elegance amidst the bustling cityscape, its modern architecture a symphony of clean lines and sleek facades that mesmerized passersbys. Every detail, from the smooth curvature of the walls to the precise symmetry of the windows, spoke of craftsmanship and artistry that left an indelible impression on all who saw it. Surrounding the entrance, a meticulously curated garden, a lush oasis of greenery, provided a tranquility to the building's exterior.

As they stepped out of their car, the band's rock and roll style clashed brilliantly with the polished surroundings. Leather jackets, ripped jeans, and a smattering of tattoos made for a striking contrast against the backdrop of elegance.

Stepping into the studio, they were greeted by a receptionist girl seated at a marble-topped desk, her workspace packed with notepads and notebooks in neat order wich spoke volumes about her attention to detail. With a shy smile playing on her lips, she chirped a warm welcome, while her eyes scaned the group of men before her.

"Welcome to SutterLux! What can I help you?” her voice was light and airy.

Tommy leaned casually against the desk, flashing his trademark grin as he addressed her.

"Hey there, we're here to see Katie Lee. Is she available?" he inquired, his voice laced with confidence.

The receptionist's bashfulness only added to her charm as she inquired about their appointment, her eyes flitting towards the calendar as she searched for any openings.

"I'm her brother, and I just want to talk to her if she's free," Tommy explained with a nonchalant shrug, his charm evident in every word.

Recognition flickerd on the receptionist's face as she realized who Tommy was

"Oh, you're Katie's brother Tommy? She's mentioned you," she remarked, her shy tone melting into a warm, friendly demeanor.

"Let me see if she's available. Please take a seat. I'll be right back."

With a graceful gesture towards the plush black sofas on the other side, she disappeared into the depths of the studio, leaving the band members alone in the lobby. The air crackled with anticipation as Vince, Mick, and Nikki exchanged nervous glances, unsure of what to expect when they finally met Katie Lee.

As the receptionist girl reappeared with Katie by her side, the room seemed to brighten with her presence. Her fiery red hair cascaded down her shoulders like a waterfall of flames, framing her face with an aura of vibrant energy. Her eyes twinkled with a mischievous sparkle, and every step she took radiated confidence.

"Tommy!" Katie exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine delight as she enveloped her brother in a tight hug.

"What are you doing here?"

Tommy returned the hug with equal enthusiasm, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

"We came to see you, sis," he replied, pulling back to gaze at her with fondness.

"Who’s we?” she asked couriously as her gaze shifted to the other men standing behind Tommy, her smile widening at the sight of them.

"Nikki, Vince, and Mick," Tommy introduced, gesturing to each member of the band in turn. "Guys, this is my sister, Katie."

The band members exchanged greetings with Katie, their admiration for her evident in their eyes. Her easygoing demeanor and magnetic charm left an impression on each of them, drawing them in with her infectious energy.

"Do you have a little time to spare for us sis?” Tommy asked eagerly.

"I hope so.” Katie replied with a grin.

"Sam, when's my next client scheduled to arrive?" Katie turned to the receptionist girl, who quickly returned to her desk.

Sam scanned the schedule and checked the clock on the wall before responding,

"You've got about an hour and twenty minutes until your next appointment."

Katie nodded thoughtfully.

"Great. In that case, why don't we head over to that coffee shop down the street? We can grab a table and chat," she suggested, turning back to the band with a warm smile.

"Sounds like a plan," Tommy cheered, his excitement matching hers as they left the building.

As Katie and the band strolled down the bustling streets of downtown LA, the city pulsed with an electrifying vitality and amidst the vibrant chaos, they sought refuge at a quaint corner table in a cozy café, where the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped them like a warm embrace.

After placing their orders, Nikki leaned forward, his piercing blue eyes fixed on Katie.

"So, Katie, Tommy's been singing your praises as a kickass photographer," his voice as smooth as silk. "We're on the hunt for someone with your skills to help us make a splash with our upcoming gig."

Katie nodded, her interest piqued.

"I'm all ears," she replied, leaning back in her chair.

Tommy, unable to contain his excitement, leaned forward eagerly.

"We've headlining at the Starwood Club next month," he announced, a grin spreading across his face. "But we're not just looking to play; we want to rock the joint!"

"And to light up that stage, we need some badass posters, flyers, and all that jazz, something that draws a lot of people in" Vince chimed in, his voice hyped.

Katie soaked up their vibe, a glint of excitement dancing in her eyes.

"Consider it done" she declared, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"But first could guys maybe show some of your music for me? Just to get a better image of Mötley Crüe.”

The band exchanged looks, a smirk playing on their lips.

"We'll crank up the amps and give you a taste," Tommy promised, a grin spreading across his face.

"You just got a backstage pass to our sonic circus," Nikki added, a playful twinkle in his eye.

"Why don't we invite you to my place? We've got a rehearsal space set up there, so you can experience what we're all about."

Katie's eyes gleamed with excitement.

"That sounds perfect," she exclaimed, a radiant smile gracing her lips.

"Then it's settled," Mick declared with a decisive nod. "We'll make our way to Nikki's place once we're done here."

With the first part of their plan solidified, the band and Katie lingered over their drinks, their conversation flowing with easy.

As the time drew near for Katie's next appointment, the group decided to escort her back to work. Upon the arrival, Katie vanished into the studio to finish her job for the day.

As the band settled into the reception hall, time seemed to stretch out before them, each minute feeling like an eternity as they waited with for Katie's return.

At long last, the door creaked open, and Katie emerged with a satisfied smile playing on her lips.

"Sorry for the wait, guys," Katie apologized, her voice carrying a note of excitement as she joined the band.

"I'm ready to roll now."

With a renewed sense of anticipation, Katie and the band made their way to Nikki's car, the excitement practically crackling in the air around them. As they headed to the Sunset Strip, Katie couldn't suppress the thrill bubbling within her, eager to delve deeper into the realm of rock 'n' roll.

Arriving at Nikki's apartment building, Katie was greeted by a surge of excitement at the thought finally getting to know the band wich her brother was part of.

As Mötley Crüe and Katie entered Nikki's flat, they were greeted by a space that perfectly encapsulated the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Posters of iconi musicans adorned the walls, while instruments were scattered haphazardly around the room. Amplifiers hummed softly in the background, hinting at the music that was created within these walls.

The furniture was a mix of vintage pieces and modern comforts, giving the space a lived-in yet stylish vibe. A plush couch sat against one wall, its cushions worn from years of use, while a sleek bar area beckoned from the corner, stocked with an impressive array of spirits.

Nikki led the group into the room with a grin, gesturing for them to make themselves at home. "Welcome to my humble abode, where the magic happens" he said, a twinkle in his eye turning to Katie

"Make yourself comfortable."

As Katie and the rest of the band settled in, Nikki made his way to the fridge, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Alright, folks, what'll it be?" he called out, opening the fridge door to reveal an assortment of beverages.

"Beer, wine, whiskey? You name it, I've got it."

The band members exchanged glances, a collective smirk crossing their faces.

"Surprise us, Nikki," Vince replied, a playful edge to his voice.

Nikki chuckled as he retrieved a selection of drinks from the fridge, passing them out to the group with a flourish. As the band settled in with their drinks, Nikki turned to Katie with a grin.

"Are you ready for your private show, Katie?" he asked, his eyes alight with anticipation.

Katie's face broke into a wide smile.

"Absolutely," she replied, excitement coursing through her veins as she leand back comfortably in the couch, drink in hand. With a casual ease, she propped her legs up on the coffee table, fixing her gaze on the band with eager anticipation.

With that the band took their place on the stage, wich was the other side of Nikki’s living room, and launched into their first song. The music was filling the room with its raw energy. Katie's eyes danced with delight as she listened, completely captivated by the electrifying performance unfolding before her.

Song after song, Mötley Crüe poured their hearts and souls into their music, each note resonating with passion and intensity. Katie couldn't help but be swept away by the sheer talent and charisma of the band, her appreciation for their music growing with each passing moment.

As the final chords faded into silence, Tommy and Nikki took their seats on either side of Katie, their faces flushed with exhilaration. Vince and Mick settled into the armchairs surrounding the coffee table, their expressions mirroring the sense of accomplishment that filled the room.

"So, Katie, what did you think?" Nikki asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Katie's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as she took a sip of her drink, considering her response.

"I loved it," she said, her voice filled with genuine admiration.

"Each song had its own unique energy"

With the mood buoyed by Katie's praise, she launched into her ideas for the flyers and posters, drawing inspiration from the music she had just heard.

The band members listened intently, nodding in agreement as Katie outlined her vision for the promotional materials.

"I love it," Vince exclaimed, his eyes shining with enthusiasm.

"It sounds like you really understand our vibe and what we're all about."

Katie smiled, feeling a surge of pride at the band's reaction.

"I'm glad you think so," she replied.

"I can't wait to get started and see what we can create together."

As the excitement of their collaboration filled the room, Katie and the band members of Mötley Crüe quickly settled on a date for the photoshoot.

"How about Saturday, two days from now?" Katie suggested, her eyes alight with enthusiasm.

The band members exchanged eager nods, they couldn’t wait to see Katie's vision come to life. "Sounds good to us," Nikki replied, a grin spreading across his face.

"We'll make sure we're ready to rock and roll."

With the date set and plans in motion, the group toasted to their upcoming photoshoot, excitement buzzing in the air. As they continued to chat and laugh late into the evening, Katie couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for the creative journey that lay ahead.

As the evening wore on and the excitement of their collaboration began to wind down, the band members of Mötley Crüe started to make their exit.

Vince, with a mischievous glint in his eye, rose from his seat, his voice laced with playful banter.

"Alright folks, see you on Saturday. I'm off to see my girl" he declared, his announcement met with teasing cheers from the rest of the group.

Shortly there after, Mick followed suit, offering a nod of farewell before vanishing into the nocturnal embrace of the city.

Tommy glanced at his watch, realizing it was time to pick up his new flame.

"I better get going, my date is waiting" he said, flashing a grin at the others.

"New girl?” Katie asked quirosly.

"We will see” he answered with a huge smile still plaster on his face

"But before I head out, Nikki, do you mind taking Katie home?"

"I'd be happy to make sure she gets home safely." Nikki nodded in agreement, a warm smile on his face.

Katie smiled gratefully

"Thank you, Nikki," she said

"I appreciate it."

With goodbyes exchanged Tommy dissapiered and soon after Nikki and Katie made their way down from the flat to Nikki's car, the cool night air greating them as they stepped out side. They exchanged casual banter as they walked, their laughter echoing off the surrounding buildings.

"So, Nikki, where did you and my brother crossed paths?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Nikki's gaze drifted to the road ahead, a nostalgic smile gracing his lips as he recounted the story.

"Well, it was after I had a falling out with my former band's singer and decided to quit London," he began, his voice tinged with nostalgia.

"I was feeling pretty lost and unsure of what to do next."

He paused for a moment, lost in thought, before continuing.

"I found myself sitting in a diner, flipping through the ads of musicians looking to join a band," he explained.

"That's when Tommy walked up to me out of the blue."

A smile tugged at the corners of Nikki's lips as he recalled the memory.

"He was this cocky guy with wild hair and an even wilder personality," he said.

"I remember him saying he had my poster on his bedroom wall” he laughed and Katie started giggeling next to him.

"And then he just seated himself infront of me and started twireling his drum sticks and as they say the rest is histroy”

Katie glanced over at Nikki, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"It's amazing how things just seem to fall into place sometimes," she remarked, her voice filled with admiration.

"It's like the universe has a way of bringing people together when they need it."

Nikki nodded in agreement, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Yeah, it's funny how life works out like that," he replied, his voice tinged with reflection. "Sometimes the most unexpected encounters can change the course of your life in ways you never imagined."

They fell into a comfortable rhythm of conversation, sharing stories and laughter as they made their way through the city streets. Before they knew it, they had arrived at Katie's apartment building, the glow of the streetlights casting a warm halo around them.

As Nikki pulled up to the curb, he turned to Katie with a smile.

"Well, here we are," he said, his tone lighthearted.

"Thanks for the company, Katie. I had a great time tonight."

Katie returned his smile, a sense of warmth and gratitude filling her chest.

"Thank you for the ride, Nikki," she replied, her voice sincere.

With a final wave goodbye, Katie stepped out of the car and watched as Nikki drove off into the night. As she made her way up to her apartment, a sense of contentment washed over her, grateful for the unexpected connection she had formed with Nikki and the band.

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crystalbaby12 · 2 years

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I just want to read Nikki Sixx fanfics. That’s the vibe

But also, Douglas Booth as Nikki

#Nikki Sixx #fanfics #smut #nikki sixx smut #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx fanfics #douglas booth!nikki sixx #douglas booth

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

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Love and Leather /part sixxty five/

Word Count: 10k

A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I’m about to get trashed tomorrow night to make up for my lack of christmas spirit! Enjoy! Because I’m about to fuck it up again!

Warnings: Language, angst for like a brief second, fluff and sexual innuendos

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyes , @aryssav , @miserablecunt @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, , @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist , @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @cranberribread, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess

“I have a delivery for Miss Vanity Blackwood?”

“Van! It’s for you!”

I put down the laundry basket, messing with Arianna’s hair as I walked past her to get to the front door, “Oh! These are gorgeous!” I smiled at the pink and violet roses that had a mix of baby breath sprinkled throughout the blooming flowers. He also handed over a white box with a silk red bow wrapped around it before giving me a paper to sign, “Thank you!”

I set the flowers down on the table, next to the other flowers that have been accumulating for the last few days. Nikki had been going out of his way with grand gestures, I told him it wasn’t needed but he is adamant about it. So, I’m trying to be appreciative of it.

“Five bouquets of flowers in the past three days.” Clementine groaned as I looked at all of them. I think the orange and purple carnations with the white tiger lilies are my favorite, “Not even your favorites-“ Clementine tsk’d as I rolled my eyes, “For someone that is suppose to know you, he really misses the mark....the candy’s good. It’s been those caramel and pecan turtle things every time.” She explained as she opened up the new box of chocolates and stuffed one into her mouth.

I chuckled, “For someone who misses the mark, he sure knows my favorite candy.” I teased, “It’s the thought that counts Clementine. It’s sweet.” I spoke in a soft tone as I admired all the flowers.

“Yeah, real sweet.” She rolled her eyes and glared at the flowers, “Yelled at you in the middle of the damn hallway after making you watch him almost kill your boyfriend. That’s real sweet. Girls just dream about that.”

“Ex boyfriend.” I corrected her as she nodded, “And, what can I say? I like my men with a little psychotic tendencies.” I grinned as we both started laughing, “But I did tell him to cutback on the flowers. Arianna’s been having a sneezing fit every time she walks past them...and I’m running out of room.”

“Throw them away?” Clementine suggested as I let out a scoff and laughed.

“What?! No! They aren’t dead yet!” I shouted playfully as Arianna came over and stole a piece of chocolate.

“Daddy got you more flowers?” She questioned, mouth full of chocolate and caramel as she stared up at me, “Told you it was too much.” Clementine mumbled, mouth full of sweets too.

“Yes. Daddy sent me more flowers.” I explained as she giggled and tried to take another piece of candy, “Last one Ari.” I said sternly as she pouted slightly before nodding.

Clementine let out an amused grunt, “Huh? So you’re calling him daddy too? That’s cute.” She teases as I felt my cheeks get a tad warmer.

“Shut up, it’s not-just be quiet Clemmy.” I stammered over my words as Arianna looked up at me, “Yeah? What’s up princess?” I wrapped my arms around her before holding her at my side.

“Can we go see daddy yet?” She questioned as I shook my head, “He said he’d call when he was done with his work.” Nikki had to have a conference call with his lawyers about Brandi refusing to sign the divorce papers because she wasn’t getting everything she wanted from him. She wanted more money, plus royalties from his future earnings. It was fucked up. Plus, she was trying to say Nikki had abandoned her and the marriage. I mean, maybe he did. But he had a probable cause to do so.

But, that’s not any of my business.

“You two seem to be getting along well. From all the stories I was expecting more chaos.” Clementine pointed out as I grinned.

“This is the calm before the storm. All the sweet gestures-“ I motioned to the flowers, “are him trying to kiss my ass, same with all the nice words he’s been saying.” I shrugged, “Its what he’s always done to get out of trouble with me.”

Clementine laughed, “Is it working?” I glanced over at her and smiled.

“I don’t know.”

Clementine continued to pester with the questions for a little while longer as I eventually tuned them all out. I jumped out of the chair when the phone started ringing, “I got it!” I yelled as I ran over to it and grabbed the phone.

“Obviously.” Clementine muttered as I flipped her off.

“He-hello?”

“Hey Van! Are you and Arianna ready? I ordered some lunch to have sent up to the room. Figured you’d be hungry and she’d be hungry and I’m hungry so...I’ll see you in a little bit?” Nikki chuckled nervously over the phone as I smiled a bit.

I glared at Clementine when she made kissy faces towards me, “Yeah Nikki, we’ll be over in a few. I’ll see you then, bye.”

“Bye doll.”

I put down the phone and threw at Clementine, “Arianna! Get your shoes on! Daddy’s waiting for us!”

“Get your shoes on Vanity, Daddy’s waiting for you.” Clementine continued her relentless teasing as I rolled my eyes and slipped on my sandals.

“Would you shut up? God, you’re so annoying.” I whined as I heard another knock on the door.

“Clem! Can you get that?” I said as I walked to Arianna’s room to get her bag I had packed with extra clothes. I walked to the living room to see Clementine standing in the kitchen with a vase of beautiful blooming sunflowers.

“Amazing and beautiful. Not a flower or a tree. Prettier than that and only I can see.” Clementine read from a card as I felt my cheeks become hot and turn pink.

“What? Did he get this from a damn fortune cookie?” She replied before putting the vase down on the table next to the others. I sighed, Nikki was doing way to much.

“Mommy I’m ready.” I looked down at Arianna and nodded, “Right, let’s go see your dad.”

*Nikki’s Hotel*

“Do not touch anything.” I mumbled to Arianna as I saw her looking at the glass and gold tables with the fancy little decorative vases on them. I watched Nikki come out of the elevator and walk to us as Arianna let go of my hand and ran towards him.

“Daddy!” She yelled as he reached down and picked her up, “Well hello to you too pumpkin.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and tickled her sides as he smiled at me, “Hey Van.”

“Hello.” I muttered as I picked up Ari’s backpack she had thrown to the ground, “Daddy I drew you pictures.”

Nikki gasped, “You did? Well I would love to see them. But how about after lunch, you hungry? I have a cheeseburger waiting for you up in my room.”

She nodded, “Mommy made gross pancakes this morning.”

I laughed, “Arianna...”

“Yeah, mommy’s never been to good at cooking.”

When we got to Nikki’s room, he dug his key out of his pocket while Arianna talked his ear off. He let me in first before following behind. I looked around, his hotel room was huge. The bedroom was completely separate and the living room part of the hotel had a balcony he could step out on.

“I didn’t know what to get you so I got you a cheeseburger too. Your new found diet seems to have caused you to loose some weight.” Nikki explained as he sniffed repeatedly.

I scowled as I put down my purse and Arianna’s bag, “Been clean for a week Nikki.” I whispered to him as he nodded.

“Proud of you, doll.” He smiles as he nudged my arm and pulled out a chair at the table for me to sit down in.

“Can we go swimming yet?” Arianna asked as she chewed on a french fry.

“You gotta eat first and then get dressed. Then we can go alright?” Nikki explained as Arianna nodded. I picked at the burger, pulling off onions, pickles and tomatoes.

“Oh wait, I have yours.” Nikki said as he handed me a cheeseburger that didn’t have any of the stuff I just pulled off.

“...thank you.” I looked down at the burger. Wow, that is not something I expected him to remember. I also looked at the fries, they had crinkle cut while I had regular fries. I hate crinkle cut, they’re disgusting.

I saw Nikki glance over at me smiling as he chewed his food, “Something wrong with lunch Van?” He questioned as I shook my head.

“No it’s just uh...right? Uh, never mind.” I mumbled before I started eating.

Arianna rushed through her food before she ran over to her backpack and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She climbed back on the chair and handed the drawing to Nikki. He smiled at her as he unfolded it.

“It’s you! And me! And mom!” I glanced at it, seeing the a lot of spiky black hair and little cartoon smiles on her doodles.

“It’s wonderful baby. Thank you.” Nikki folded it back up before he put it in his wallet.

“Auntie let me use her special crayons to color it.” Arianna explained to him as he tried down playing his eye roll.

“Babe, you ready to get dressed?” I motioned to her plate of food as she nodded, “Let’s go!!” She yelled as she climbed back out of the chair and grabbed my hand, trying to pull me into the other room to get changed.

“We’ll be ready in a minute.” I told Nikki as he nodded and started cleaning up Arianna’s mess from lunch.

*Nikki’s POV*

After cleaning up and the girls laughing and causing a ruckus in the bathroom, I pulled my shirt over my head, adjusting the swim shorts I was wearing after. Arianna came running out with a purple and pink towel wrapped around her shoulders and floaties around her arms while she climbed up onto my bed. She had Vanity’s sunglasses in hand before putting them on and beginning to babble about something. I couldn’t tell, she was talking way to fast. Vanity cleared her throat, making me turn around as she was holding the strings to her bikini top.

“Can you...um tie these for me?” I chuckled as she turned around, her back facing me as my eyes drifted down to the scar on her skin as I stepped over and grabbed the strings from her.

“You know...I think you could tie these yourself.” I whispered in her ear as I pressed against her. I tied the strings slowly before putting my hands on her hips. I smirked to myself when I felt her body tense up under my palms, “Are these ones tight enough?” I questioned, fumbling with the black fabric that was tied in a bow at her side.

She laughed a bit before stepping away from me and turning around to face me, my eyes immediately dropped down, “Wow.” I looked back at her, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment, “I mean uh....let me get you a shirt.” I moved off to the side and grabbed a white shirt sticking out of my suitcase and handed it to her.

Van quickly slipped it over her shoulders, the bottom hem of the shirt resting just a little bit below her hips, “Arianna, you ready to go to the pool?” She questioned as she climbed off the bed and put on her little sandals.

“Ready! I have my floaties!” She cheered as Vanity laughed and put her hand out for her as she quickly took it.

I grabbed my room key and towel before heading to the door and opening it. I felt my fucking stomach drop to my nut sack as I stared into deep, dark blue eyes.

“Brandi...hey ah- what are you doing here?” I stuttered out as she immediately hit me in the chest with a rolled up magazine repeatedly.

I heard Vanity hush Arianna as I closed the door a little bit more so Brandi couldn’t peer inside.

Brandi scoffed, “Wondering when the hell my husband is gonna stop playing house and come back home to me.” She snapped out, pushing me to the side as she walked into my hotel room. You could of heard the drop of a pin as Brandi glared at Vanity.

“Hello Vanity.” Brandi’s voice was conniving and her demeanor was intimidating as she stared her down. Brandi forced a smile before looking down at Arianna, “Well isn’t this just one big happy family reunion?” She cackled as Vanity looked over at me. Her face was red, and the look in her eye wasn’t a very friendly one. She was probably thinking, ‘Sixx, you better fucking do something and you better do it now.’

I cleared my throat, “Van...uh take her to the pool. I’ll be down in a little bit.” I motioned to the door and opened it up for them.

“Daddy, c’mon.” Arianna said as she grabbed my hand and tried pulling me with her. My head snapped over to Brandi when she let out and amused laugh.

“Go on babe. I’ll see you in a few minutes. Just wait for me.” I smiled at her as I nudged her towards Vanity. If looks could kill, my body would already be in the process of rigor mortis. I closed the door and turned towards Brandi when they were down the hall.

“We are separated. I signed the papers just like you wanted.” I said as I watched her step over to me, standing toe to toe as she looked up.

“Nikki, that’s not what I wanted.” Brandi sighed as she ran her hands up my chest before resting them atop of my shoulders, “I just want you to to come back home. You’ve spent enough time here.”

I moved away from her touch, “No. I’m not going home. Did you even move out? Because a few weeks is plenty to get your shit out.” I shook my head in frustration, “I have a kid here, Brandi. I’m not leaving her. I told you, I am done.”

Brandi rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest, “And how do you know she’s even yours? You weren’t with her for five years. She’s a beautiful little girl, but I don’t want you stuck paying for someone else’s child support for the next thirteen years.” She tried closing the space between us again, “C’mon honey, come home. I love and miss you. I have a little project we can work on together.”

“I know Arianna is mine! Don’t fucking call me honey! You aren’t my home, I don’t love you and haven’t thought about you since I left! I’m

Not doing jack shit for you! Fly your ass back to California and get your crap out of my house!”

“Nikki, please we can work on what we struggle with. I do love you a lot. I was there when she left you, remember? How many nights you spent crying and wanted to go shoot it, remember that?”

I glared, “You just want to do that stupid god damn photo shoot you’ve been begging for, for the past year! I’m not doing it!”

I watched as she walked over to me. Brandi gently put her hands on the side of my face, “Nikki, I love you. I was there for you when she ran three thousand miles away and didn’t even bother to tell you that you have a daughter. It’s not about doing the photoshoot. I love you Nikki, I didn’t want you to sign those papers, I just-“ I stared as her eyes started watering up, blinking out a few tears. “I hoped it would scare you enough to come back home. I thought you loved me enough to not just throw away our years of marriage.”

I groaned, “Don’t even start with the crying. It’s not going to work, Brandi. Just fucking go back-“

I was caught off guard when she planted her lips on mine. I grabbed her by her hips and roughly pulled her off of me, “Brandi! Stop!”

I wiped her saliva off my mouth as she cried harder, “Nikki! I want you to come back home!”

“I don’t want too!!” I fought back, raising my voice but she wiped away her tears before more came, “Our marriage was a mistake! If I hadn’t cheated things would be a lot fucking different!”

“It’s not like she’s going to wake up and love you again!!” She shouted as she started pushing on my chest.”

“I KNOW THAT!!”

Before I could even think about what I was doing, my hand went through dry wall of the hotel. My chest was heaving up and down as I tried to control myself. I heard Brandi choke out a pathetic squeak of a sob as I glared over at her.

“I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing this for Arianna. I’m here for her, not Vanity! We are trying to be friends and parents! I am not going to be like my fucking father!” I yelled at her as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Nikki. Enjoy playing house with your groupie ex and your illegitimate child. I’ll see you back in Los Angeles.” She said, almost as if the tears were fake which I already knew they were. She shoved the magazine back into my chest before shoulder checking me and walking out the door.

A new fucking magazine with our faces on it. Great.

*Vanity’s POV*

I sat on the edge of the pool next to Arianna as she was at my side kicking her feet in the water. I kept glancing at the entrance to the pool, waiting for Nikki to come down.

“Mommy, who was that?” Ari questioned softly as I sighed and ran my hand over her head.

“She’s no one baby. Don’t worry about it. You ready to get in the pool?” I asked her as she shook her head.

“No, I wanna wait for Daddy.” I sighed but nodded anyways.

I wonder if Nikki knew Brandi was going to be here? Im sure he would’ve told me if she was...I think? Or I hope. I heard the security gate to the pool slam open before slamming shut, I sighed deeply as I looked over and saw Nikki storming over to the open bar.

“Uh oh.” Arianna whispered as I laughed a little bit, “Daddy’s mad.”

I shook my head, “He’s fine, darling. Daddy’s a real tough one.” I explained as she smiled and got up, walking over to the little side table and sipping on her fruit punch out of a swirly straw before picking at the complimentary fruit and vegetable tray that was brought over.

“Here.” I looked up, seeing Nikki tower above me as he held out a beer bottle. I slowly took it from him, noticing the tinted red cheeks and the furrowed brows.

“Are you-“

“Don’t. Just don’t.” He snapped back as I looked away from him and took a sip.

“Daddy! Can we swim now!?” Arianna asked, running over to him and reaching for his hand and pulling on him.

Nikki forced a smile, “Of course sweet pea. Go get your floaties on and we’ll get in.” He explained to her as she did what he said. I looked back at him, watching Nikki chug the whole beer at once before putting the glass down on the table.

I stood up from sitting at the edge of the pool before walking over to my purse and grabbing a hair tie to throw my hair up in a quick bun. Arianna came over to me, needing help to adjust the floaties, “Told you, you should’ve just kept them on.” I chuckled as she huffed and puffed.

I found my self looking at Nikki pull off his shirt as my mouth went agape, “Jesus Nik.” I muttered as I walked over and put my hand on his back, gliding over all the tattoos.

“Oh, yeah.” He laughed, “I sometimes forget my back is covered. Do you like it?” He questioned, his head turned over his shoulder as he gave me a real smile.

I nodded, “It’s so cool. I love the sun.” My hand traced down to the devil and angel figures on his lower back, “These are cute too.”

He laughed, “Thank you?” He shook his head before trying to step away from me but I grabbed his shoulder.

“An octopus?” I questioned as I motioned for him to turn around, he rolled his eyes but did it anyways, “Whoa.” My eyes widened at the colorful ink across his shoulders and chest.

“What? Too much?” He grinned as my eyes wandered down his torso. I blinked a few times before looking back at him before returning my gaze to the tattoo on his rib cage.

I looked at the black cursive that stared back at me. My hand moved by itself and I traced over my name with a sky blue painted finger nail. I shook my head, “Why do you still have that?”

Nikki gently pushed my hand off his body before he turned his back towards me and slipped into the pool, “C’mon Ari.” Nikki motioned for her as he stood at the edge of the pool and lifted her into the water with him.

My eyes stayed glued to my name as I watched him begin to teach her how to swim. Why the hell does he still have that? I took a sip out of the bottle before wiping my bottom lip.

“You gotta kick your legs baby. That’s how you stay afloat.” Nikki held her slightly above the water in his arms, “And then you gotta move your arms away from you so you can doggy paddle.” Nikki laughed as she started splashing away at the water, “It’s a start, princess. You’re doing good.”

“Mom!! I’m swimming!” Arianna giggled as I smiled at her, “You’re doing amazing sweetie. How about you try without Daddy holding onto you?”

Nikki slowly started to let go of her, “Try swimming over to mom.” Nikki said as Arianna started to whine, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.”

“Just swim to me baby. Daddy will be right by you just in case.” I motioned for her as Nikki lowered her back into the water, letting go of her as she started kicking and moving her arms.

Nikki clapped for her as she swam over to me and grabbed a hold of my legs and I quickly hoisted her up, “You did it!!” I chimed as she giggled and wiped water from her face.

I showered her in little quick pecks on the cheek as she complained and tried pulling away from me, reaching her arms out for Nikki. For how big his smile was, you would’ve thought it was hurting him. He swam over to us and took her from me as he held onto her, “Hey, I did good too. Do I get a kiss?” I rolled my eyes and lightly kicked him in the gut instead.

I watched as Arianna climbed like spider monkey around Nikki’s torso before she was wrapped around his back, “You good, Sixx?” I tried smiling a bit as I saw his falter.

“No, yeah. I’m good, doll. Don’t worry about me.” He forced a smile before he started laughing when Arianna tugged and pulled on his hair as she tried to balance herself on his shoulders.

“Ow, Arianna be careful.” Nikki groaned as he reached up for her hands and held them in his.

“Daddy I want my snacks!” Nikki rolled his eyes as he walked over to the edge of the pool and took her off his shoulders, placing her down on the concrete as she ran over to the chair and started eating.

“Went through me being kicked in the face and getting my hair ripped out just to ask for snacks a minute later.” He mumbled before shaking his hair out, pushing it from his face right after.

He sighed and looked at me. I hated that look. I know that look. That’s look he always gave me right before he told me something I wasn’t going to like and also right before he would’ve told me no.

“I have to go back to California.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach as I stared at him, “Not immediately, like in a few weeks or so. I have to do a photoshoot I already paid for months ago. She wants one last proof to the world that she was married to me.” Nikki explained as he shook his head, “I really don’t want to go…”

”Well-“ I paused, running my nails through my hair, “You should just do what she wants that way she’s somewhat content and will leave you alone.”

He grinned, “Yeah, but here’s the thing. The photoshoot isn’t exactly what I call normal.”

“Nikki, you don’t know the meaning of the word normal.” I teased with a smile as he splashed water at me.”

“Shut up.” He laughed but then deeply sighed in annoyance, “We’ll be naked…”

I blinked a few times before scratching the top of my head, “For Playboy?” Nikki shook his head, telling me no.

“Huh, well. Hope it’s tasteful.” I mumbled, “But the divorce?”

Nikki tilted his head to the side as he stepped a bit closer to me, hands placed on both sides of my legs, “It’s still happening. And when I’m there I can meet with the lawyers physically instead of phone calls and emails and it will move things along faster…it’s just gonna be pretend, Princess.” Nikki’s voice was soft as he maintained eye contact with me.

“Good thing it’s pretend.” I mumbled quietly, “I mean, just pretend it some other model or something. Or T-bone. I know you two are super close.”

“Yeah, like brothers.” He laughed before he pinched my hip only for me to smack his hand away from me.

“I want a brother!” Arianna exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I immediately started shaking my head.

“You-you want a brother?” Nikki questioned, shock riddling his voice as he stared at us. She moved from me before sitting down on the edge next to me.

“Yes! All my friends have brothers and mommy has a brother and you have Tommy!” I laughed due to the extreme uncomfortableness that was starting to choke me.

Nikki smiled, “That’s up to mommy, not me angel.”

I agreed with Nikki, “Plus, brothers are so gross Ari. They stink and they’re dirty and they ruin everything. Uncle Grey is horrible.” I explained as she giggled

“Uncle Grey is fun! And so is Tommy!” Arianna argued back, “Ari…”

“Well, you know babe. Tommy isn’t the only brother I got. There’s also Vince and Mick.”

Ari gasped as she looked over at me, “I want to meet them! Can I meet them!?”

“Maybe one day, darling. If you and mom come back to California.” Nikki explained, looking over at me as I shook my head which resulted in his smile turning into a frown.

“…Or they can come here.” I pointed out.

“...Or you can come home.”

I rolled my eyes before turning my attention back to Arianna, “How about we swim a bit longer before we have to go.” I told her as she nodded and I helped her back into the water.

I felt Nikki’s hand wrap around my ankle as he tried pulling me in, “Nik, stop.” I laughed as I pushed on his shoulder. Arianna then latched onto my ankle and tried pulling me too.

Nikki smirked before grabbing the hem of his shirt and tried to pull it up, “Take off the shirt and let’s get in the water.” He laughed as I grabbed his hand and tried pushing it away from my body.

“I dont want to get in.” I protested as he gave me a serious look

“Don’t be a party pooper mommy.” Arianna giggled. I let out a scoff due to her words.

“Yeah mommy, don’t be a party pooper.” Nikki copied before he let go of my ankle and quickly wrapped his arms around my body, picking me up and dragging me into the water.

“Nikki!” I laughed as his hands slid down to the back of my thighs as he tossed me over his shoulder. I started punching his back, “Nikki, let me go!” I yelled before I was quickly dropped into the water face first.

I came back up, wiping my face as Nikki was full of smiles and holding Arianna, “What? You said to let you go?” He smirked as Arianna pointed and laughed at me.

“You’re such an ass.” I told him as he laughed at me again.

“Love you too princess.”

*a few hours later, Nikki’s POV*

“Arianna, quit jumping on the couch! You’re going to fall.” Van told her as she was bouncing behind me as I sat on the floor, plucking strings to my bass.

“La, la, la!” I turned around, seeing Arianna plugging her ears with her fingers. I chuckled before quickly grabbing her and placing her on my lap with the guitar in front of us.

She started hitting the strings, trying to play it but I quickly grabbed her hand, “No. You don’t hit this. They’re important to daddy.” I told her as she nodded. I kept one hand on the fret board as I guided her fingers to gently pluck the strings.

I heard a click of a camera as I glanced up to see Vanity taking a picture of us, “Don’t play with that either.” I told Van as she rolled her eyes before turning the camera on herself and sticking up her middle finger and snapping a pic.

Vanity chuckled before placing the camera back down on the table, “Arianna, we should get going. It’s getting late and auntie Clem is probably waiting for us.”

She started to pout before i took her off my lap and placed her down on the floor, “Moms right, kid. We’ll have more fun tomorrow, I promise.” I whispered as she nodded. Vanity handed Arianna her tiny little purple backpack as she held onto her purse. I walked them to the door and opened it up as Arianna hugged my legs.

I ran my hand over her head before I picked her up and gave her a hug, “I love you princess.” I kissed her forehead as she hugged me tighter.

“I love you too daddy.” She whispered against my ear as I smiled before I started tickling her sides. She started laughing uncontrollably before I put her down on the floor.

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” I asked Vanity as she nodded, not bothering to look at me as she dug her car keys out. I rolled my eyes before I stepped over to her and wrapped her up in a hug as well. I felt her tense up before she relaxed and patted the back of my shoulder.

“Can you let go now?” She mumbled as I squeezed her tighter and picked her up off the ground, “Nikki.” She said my name sternly as I sighed and put her feet back on the ground.

“Goodnight girls.” I told them both as Arianna waved at me before she grabbed Vanity’s hand and they started walking down the hall to the elevators.

I exhaled before closing the hotel door. I glanced at the hole in the wall, shaking my head before I started picking the place up. Arianna had made a mess in every square inch of the room. I tossed trash into the bin before going into the adjoining bedroom and fixed the blankets and shook off crumbs from Arianna’s cookies she’d been devouring earlier in the day.

I plopped down on the bed, bass resting against my stomach as I fumbled with the strings and stared up at the ceiling. I was ultimately bored now that they left. Maybe we could go to the zoo tomorrow? Or maybe a picnic at the park? Or what if I took the girls shopping? Well, Arianna mainly. Vanity doesn’t need anymore clothes.

I closed my eyes and played a simple melody. I’ve had a lot more creative juices flowing while being here. I’ve written a few new songs to show the guys, I think they’re good, so maybe the boys will too.

I opened my eyes when there was a knock on my door. I put the bass down on the bed before going to open it. Vanity was drenched in rain and shivering as Arianna smiled at me before walking into my room.

“M-my car won’t start. And it’s pouring rain and thundering out side and-“

“Do you want to stay the night? I can get the car looked at in the morning…” The words blurted out of me before I could process what I was saying.

“If it’s not too big of a deal.” She mumbled as a shiver went down her spine and I quickly let her inside before closing the door.

“No. No it’s, uh it’s fine. I’ll um…” I quickly went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel before giving it to her, “I’ll uh…I’ll call down for extra blankets and pillows.” I mumbled before going to call the front desk. I watched as Arianna kicked off her shoes and Vanity turned on the TV for her.

“Can I take a shower?” I stared blankly at Van.

“Uh yeah, can I get some extra pillows and blankets sent up to room to three twenty seven? Okay, cool. Thank you.” I put the phone down as I stared at Vanity some more. Her white shirt was clinging to the red bra she was wearing underneath but her jeans were only a little damp.

“Nik?” She took me from my thoughts as I looked at her finally, “Oh, yeah. Sure. Go take a shower.”

She wrapped the towel around her shoulders, “If you don’t want us to stay I can like call a taxi or something..” She muttered as I shook my head feverishly.

“No! No, I want you-I mean you two can both stay. I don’t mind. I’m not doing anything important anyways.” I stumbled out as she nodded.

“Okay.” She smiled at me before she went to the bathroom. On a scale of one to ten, one being perfectly calm and ten being a full blown panic attack. I was currently at a ten.

“Daddy! The door!” Arianna yelled for me as I went back into the living room to answer it.

“Oh thanks man. Appreciate it.” I told the guy as he handed over the stuff and I closed the door. I turned around only to bump into Ari.

“Am I spending the night?” She sweetly asked me as I patted her head and put the blankets and pillows down.

“Yeah, yeah one big sleepover. You, me…mommy.” I told her as she took one of the blankets and dragged it back over to the couch before she continued to watch cartoons and snack on some more cookies that were left on the table.

“I’m gonna call Tommy…you just stay there.” I told her but she didn’t even acknowledge me. I grabbed my phone and stepped out on the balcony.

“Pick up you idiot.” I mumbled after the third ring.

“Hey Sixx! What’s up man!”

I breathed in a fresh of breath air, “Dude! Ari and Van are going to stay the night at my hotel room and I don’t know what to do?!”

Tommy started laughing, “Uh, you let them stay the night? I’m not sure what you’re asking?”

I rolled my eyes, “Vanity and Arianna are staying the night.” I repeated myself.

“Okay, and what’s the big- Oh? There’s only one bed huh?” I heard him snicker, “Use protection Nikki. I’m sure we don’t want another little Sixx running around just yet.”

If he was standing in front of me I probably would’ve punched him in the face.

“Fuck you, T-bone. That’s not on my mind.”

He laughed, “Yeah buddy, I’m sure it isn’t. Clem’s been telling me about all the teasing Vanity has been doing to you. Just fuckin let the girls have the bed and you sleep on the couch. Problem solved.”

I turned around when there was a tap on the glass door, “Oh fuck.” I said out loud as Vanity was standing in a towel that was loosely tucked around her.

“Yeah?” I slid the door open, “Can I have some clothes?”

“She’s already naked and needs clothes? You dirty fuckin dog.”

“Shut up.” I said spoke as Vanity tilted her head to the side, “No, not you! Fuck, Tommy I’ll call you back.” I quickly hung up and stepped through the door.

“Are you okay?” Vanity mumbled as I dug through my suitcase and pulled out a pair of sweats and a shirt for her.

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m great. Why do you ask that?” I questioned as I put the clothes in her hands.

She stared at me for a moment, confusion written all over her face, “…I’m gonna get dressed.” She said before she walked back to the bathroom.

I threw the phone down on the bed before I groaned out loud and rubbed my face. Just fuckin relax, man. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

Vanity walked back out, drying her hair as she glanced at me, “You need to chill the fuck out.”

I scoffed, “What?” My voice cracked, “I’m fine!”

She laughed, “I’m fine!” She mocked as I narrowed my eyes, “It’s written all over your face, Nik.”

I rolled my eyes, “My face is fine!” I raised my voice as she didn’t even flinch. I took a deep breath in, “I am fine.”

She walked towards me as she put the towel in my hands and went to Arianna and sat down next to her. She slowly crawled into Vans lap and rested against her chest.

“Do you want me to order some pizza?” I asked Van as they both looked over at me, “Yes please. I want cheese.” Arianna told me as I chuckled.

Vanity kissed the back of Ari’s head, “Cheese and pepperoni. Thanks Nikki.”

I picked up the phone and ordered some pizza before I came over and sat by Vanity and we watched Arianna’s cartoons together.

“She needs to take a bath to get all the chlorine off later.” Vanity explained, “Oh yeah, whatever she needs. I don’t care.” I muttered as I stiffened up when Vanity scooted a bit closer to me and rested her her head on my shoulder.

“I’m gonna go work on some lyrics.” I quickly got up as Vanity stared at me, then she followed after me, “Can I see the new stuff?”

I watched as she crawled onto my bed and laid on her side, “Well, I uh…I don’t have anything really written. It’s all in my head right now…”

She smiled at me before she pulled on the strings of the bass, “Huh, well maybe some other time. Do you still want to keep the typical sound of Mötley or are you trying to become what’s popular now a days?”

“I don’t know.” I said as I took the bass away from her and held it in my lap as I drummed my fingers against the fretboard,

“Okay then…” Vanity mumbled, “Well I think you should keep the Mötley aesthetic but try to do what’s mainstream you know? I mean, hair metal wasn’t going to be popular forever.” She laughed a bit as I glared at her.

“And be like everyone else? No thanks.”

“Literally there’s Mötley, Guns and Roses, Poison, Ratt, Cinderella, Skid Row, Warrant…all of you look the same.” She said as I watched as she laid on her back and fumble with the drawstrings of my sweats that were laid loosely on her hips.

“We do not look the same. Or sound the same either! Mötley did it first and those guys are just copiers.”

“So what about Kiss?”

I laughed, “Do not compare us to Kiss.”

She sat up in a criss cross position and looked at me with an amused expression, “You’re really gonna tell me that the face paint, the hair, leather and high heeled boots didn’t stem from that? Not saying I like Kiss, because I don’t. But I think I would’ve liked you a lot more if you had a tongue like Gene Simmons.”

Did she really just say that?

*Vanity’s POV*

I watched him squirm uncomfortably, noticing the shade of pink rise on his cheeks. He looked away from me and grabbed the water bottle in front of him and took a long sip.

I chewed on my bottom lip as my eyebrows raised, “No comment? I thought that was funny…god, when did you become such a prude?”

Nikki shook his head, “Princess, I haven’t touched you in five years. I’m immune to comments like that.” He sighed and gave me a smile, “Plus, between my cock and my tongue I’ve made you scream louder then any other dude possibly could.”

I laughed, “Okay, that’s fair. I’ll give you that.”

Nikki smiled at me before he got up to answer the knock on the door, “Keep the change, man.” He told the guy before he brought the boxes of pizza over to the table.

I helped Arianna climb up on the chair before putting some food in front of her, “Thank you.” She quietly spoke before devouring the pizza.

After dinner, I had just gotten Arianna out of the shower after getting her dressed. She was wearing one of Nikki’s bands shirts that was more of a dress on her as she ran through the bedroom and tot he living room as she climbed up on the couch.

“No! I don’t want my hair brushed!” She tried fighting me as I grabbed a hold of her and started combing her hair out as gently and fast as I could but she kept pulling away from me.

“Ari, either we do it now or we do it in the morning when you have a whole bunch of tangles and I promise you’re not gonna like that one bit.” I told her as she huffed and puffed before simmering down and letting me continue.

“Daddy likes Dino’s too.” She told me as she showed me the T-Rex shirt she was wearing.

I chuckled, “No baby, it’s daddy’s favorite band.” I finished combing out her hair before putting it in a sloppy braid.

“Can you read me a story?” She questioned as she laid down on the couch and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“No story tonight babe. I don’t have any of your books.” I groaned when Nikki pushed the back of my head before sitting down on the floor by the couch. Arianna turned and rested on her side to face him.

“Where’s your imagination, mom.” Nikki teased as I rolled my eyes, “I’ll tell you a story pumpkin.”

“Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a princess who was apart of the richest kingdom of all. She was a beautiful princess, she had pretty brown locks and gorgeous hazel eyes kinda like yours.” He bopped her nose gently as she giggled, “One day, the princess met a Nobel and extremely handsome boy, but he wasn’t a prince or a king. He was a poor boy who had a group of friends he hanged out with and got into a lot of trouble with.”

“Like Peter Pan!” Arianna giggled as Nikki smiled and nodded, “Yeah, kinda like Peter. But he didn’t wear tights and fly through the stars, he wore leather pants and rode a motorcycle.”

Oh no.

“And the boy, he wasn’t too nice sometimes to the princess. But man, did he love her a lot. He’d do anything for her and he wrote some sweet little songs for her too. And the princess loved him very much too. She always made him smile and laugh and very, very happy. One day, the boy asked the princess to marry him and she said yes.”

Arianna gasped, “And the boy saved up all his money and got her a beautiful ring for her to have forever. They were going to have a magical wedding with all their friends in the enchanted forest for all the critters to watch.”

I stared at Nikki who was gently brushing his finger tips over Arianna’s cheek, “Well one day, a evil witch came into the kingdom and tricked the boy with a little curse to leave the pretty princess and it worked.”

“No! Daddy!” Arianna yelped before he hushed her, “And the boy wish he never listened to the witch because he knew how the princess would be sad about it. The princess ran away to another kingdom but the boy didn’t give up, he found the princess again and she was still as beautiful as before. So he got down on his knees and begged the princess for forgiveness, but she’s always been a little stubborn.” I let out a scoff as he laughed a bit.

“He told the princess, I still love you and I’d do anything to have you back in our kingdom with me. He then gave her a kiss, a true loves kiss and the princess decided to give him another chance and they lived happily ever after. The end.” Nikki had a proud smile on his face as I rolled my eyes.

“But the princess wasn’t a dumb one. She was smart.” Both of them both looked over at me, “And she knew the boy always had a way with sweet words and would give her flowers and presents to make things better. But it didn’t.”

“But mommy!! The princess loves the boy!”

I nodded, “Yes, the princess loves the boy very much. But she needs more then just flowers and presents to make her feel better.

“But how is the boy suppose to make the princess feel better when the princess won’t talk to him about it?” Nikki questioned.

I shrugged, “The boy needs to figure it out so the princess doesn’t lock herself away again and cry over the stupid boy.”

“I don’t like this story.” Arianna mumbled as we both looked at her. I let out a deep sigh, “The princess did love the boy very much and decided to give him another chance anyways. And they lived happily ever after in their kingdom. Go to bed.” I told her as I got up from the couch and gave her a soft kiss atop of her forehead.

“Sometimes the princess gets grumpy.” Nikki mumbled to Arianna as she laughed, “Goodnight pumpkin.”

“Goodnight daddy.”

I grabbed the extra pillows and blankets from the chair and started creating a make shift bed on the floor by Arianna, “What are you doing?” Nikki quietly asked as I looked at him, motioning to stuff on the floor.

“Making a bed to sleep on? What are you doing?” I shook my head as I threw the pillow down on the floor.

“You can sleep in the bed..” Nikki whispered as I stared at him, “Where are you going to sleep?” I questioned him as he pointed in the adjoining room.

“In the bed?”

I let out an amused grunt, “What? Can’t control yourself?” He teased as I rolled my eyes at him. I shook my head, “I can control myself, thank you very much.”

“Then it’s settled. You get one side and I’ll get the other.” He walked away from me and went into the bedroom as I stayed absolutely still. I looked over at Arianna who was getting snuggled into the couch and blanket.

I went into the bedroom, seeing him digging through his suitcase, “I get the left side.” I muttered as he chuckled, “I know, you’ve always slept on the left side.”

“Okay…” I mumbled, “I sleep with my pants off…” I said as I started pulling them down, but he turned around to look at me so I pulled them back up. I felt my fucking heart racing as he looked at me.

“Well, I sleep with my pants off too.” He said as I watched him unbutton his jeans before he kicked them off his legs, “And no shirt.” He smugly said as he pulled the shirt off his shoulders right after. My eyes went down to the black cursive again that felt like one giant slap to the face the longer I stared at it.

“I still have it because I was too scared to get it covered.” Nikki explained as I looked back at him, “I don’t know why. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

“But Brandi?”

He chuckled, “She fuckin hated it. So we never fucked and looked at each other. She always faced away from me.”

“Oh.”

I quickly grabbed the remote and turned on MTV to listen to some music. I also raided the mini fridge and grabbed a shooter of Jack Daniels and quickly swallowed it before grabbing another. Nikki went to the bathroom to do whatever as I took the chance to quickly take off my pants and get under the covers. I sat against the pillows and headboard with the tiny bottles in my lap.

“Oh you got to be fucking kidding me.” I muttered to myself as the music video for ‘Home Sweet Home’ played on the TV.

Nikki’s came out of the bathroom and groaned, “Turn it off.” He said as he grabbed the blankets and got into the bed next to me. I stiffened up and scooted over so he could have more room.

“It’s a good song.” I told him as he laughed, “Yeah, the only fuckin good one on the album. That album was a fuckin train wreck.”

Nikki fluffed the pillows up as he laid down and took the remote from my hand but I took it back from him, “What about Smokin In The Boys Room? Louder than hell? Keep Your Eye On The Money? Those are some great songs.”

“Ah, I don’t know. That album is trash. I don’t remember any of it.” I glanced over at him as he shrugged.

“What do you mean you don’t remember it?” I questioned him as he laughed a bit.

“Doll, I was so fucked up during that album and tour. That album fucking sucked.”

“Yes I know you were really high. You might not remember it but I do. And I genuinely liked Theater of Pain. It was a great visual era.” I explained to him as he rolled his eyes.

“You’re just saying that. Everyone knows it sucked.”

I scoffed, “Am not, I liked it better then the Girls album.” I said in a matter of fact type of way.

“But you loved that album.” Nikki furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “I love all your albums. But c’mon. Wild Side and Girls, Girls, Girls are like the only memorable songs.”

“What about You’re All I Need? That was a great song.”

I laughed, “About a boyfriend killing his girlfriend. Yeah, that’s a great song Nikki.”

“But if we’re talking favorites, my favorite album is Shout At The Devil. I love almost every song on that album. Ten Seconds To Love is my favorite song of yours.”

He laughed, “But you hated how I dabbled with black magic, you were fuckin scared of that!”

“I was not scared! It was just weird! And I thought you were a freak for wanting to play with it.”

“You were always like ‘Nikki! Stop! I don’t want Satan in my house!’ You were scared.” He continued to laugh as he mocked my voice.

“It was a genuine concern! Because Tommy was telling me all the weird shit that was happening at your guys apartment after you read that stupid book.”

“I still have that book.” Nikki grinned as I rolled my eyes.

“I bet you do. You are fucking Satan.” I retorted as he smirked and ran his hand up my forearm to my shoulder, “Well, Guess that means you’ve danced with the devil a few times.” He chuckles before he took his hand away from me and laid on his back.

“What’s your least favorite song?”

“She Goes Down.”

Nikki started laughing loudly as I quickly put my hand over his mouth, “Sh! You’ll wake up Ari!”

He took my hand away as he held it before I tugged free of his grip, “Van, that’s a great song, it’s creative.”

“It’s stupid. And childish, and so, so embarrassing. Everyone knows it’s about me going down on you.”

“Okay fine. But that’s all the more reason for all these stupid guys to back the fuck off.” I scoffed and looked over at him, “What? You’re still my girl.”

“Shut up, Nikki.”

“How about you make me?”

I kicked the blankets off of me, “Id rather sleep on the hard floor.” I muttered as I reached down for my pants to put them on but he grabbed my wrist.

The gaze he had on me was soft, “No, c’mon. I’ll stop. Just lay back down and I’ll be quiet. Please?” I studied his face for a moment before he took his hand away and patted the pillow and I grumbled before I laid down next to him.

“I’m not your girl.” I mumbled weakly as he chuckled, “Whatever you say doll.”

I was laying in perfect silence until I gasped, “Fuck! I have to call Clementine!” I announced, quickly grabbing my pants and putting them on as I went through my purse and dug out my phone.

Nikki let out a grunt, “Who the fuck gives a shit? You’re an adult.”

“I give a shit Nikki. We were suppose to-oh hi Clem!” Clementine began yelling from the other side, “Yes, yes I know! But I totally forgot! Yes I’m fine, Arianna is fine too. My um, car wouldn’t start so Nikki offered for us to stay the night.”

“Jesus, you need a babysitter too?” Nikki shook his head and got out of bed. He walked over to Me and took the phone out of my hand.

“Clementine? Yeah, it’s Nikki. The girls are fine so stopping fucking worrying.” He snapped at her as my eyes widened

“Oh yeah? Well fuck you too.” I watched as Nikki pressed the end call button and handed the phone back to me.

“That was really rude, Nikki.” I stated as I stared at him in disbelief.

“She doesn’t need to be up your ass twenty four seven. Plus, she’s probably only calling for more money.”

I shook my head, walking back to the bed and plopping down as he followed after me. I snatched the blankets and pulled them over myself, “Shut up, you have no idea what you’re even talking about.” I snapped, turning to lay on my side and face away from him.

“I do know what I’m talking about actually. Tommy told me you give her hundreds and hundreds over dollar every month.” Nikki spoke as I felt him take blankets away from me.

I scoffed, forcefully pulling the blankets back, “Yeah, for watching Arianna. Again, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

I could just tell he was rolling his eyes, “I literally watched you hand her a stack of hundreds the other day and you didn’t even think fuckin twice. For someone that apparently lives the starving artist life she sure likes to act poor.”

“Well it’s my money and I can do what I want with it. Why do you even have beef with her? You had no issues with any of the other girlfriends or wives.” I pointed out as I shook my head.

Nikki expressed, “I just don’t fuckin like her. She acts like a god damn charity case when she can just go out and get a real job.”

I rolled over, turning to face him, “She’s an artist, Nikki. That’s her job. Just like playing a guitar is your job.” I explained as I grabbed one of the pillows He was using and propped it under mine.

I glared at me, “Yeah, well when I was getting the band going I still had little side jobs.”

I rolled my eyes, “You fuckin dated girls that worked at grocery stores just so you could get free food. She’s nice Nikki. And she told me all about you being an asshole to her when she went to California with Tommy.”

Nikki groaned, “She wasn’t nice to me then and she’s still not nice to me now.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Yes she is! She has been nothing but nice to you. She said you went out of your way to make her feel unwelcome in my house….I mean your house.”

“Whatever. I don’t fuckin like her. She’s a leech.” He grunted when I smacked him in the face with a pillow, “Don’t fucking be a brat.”

“How can you even say that? You barely know anything about her other then her being Tommy’s girlfriend and Arianna’s aunt.”

“She isn’t Arianna’s aunt. Sage is her aunt. Clementine is not.” Nikki pointed out as I then took the pillow and wedged it between us to create a make shift wall.

“Well she was the only that was in the delivery room with me Nikki.”

Nikki moved the pillow and threw it across the room, “She was?”

I rolled my eyes and turned to face away from him, “Yes Nikki, she was. My mom and siblings were on some god damn cruise because Arianna was born a few weeks prior to her actual due date. Clementine held my hand while I gave birth. So maybe you should think twice before saying something stupid about her. I’m going to bed, so shut the fuck up.”

I her let out a huff of air after I finished my rant, “Vanity?”

“What Nikki?” My voice oozed annoyance a I pulled the blankets up to my chin.

“I-I haven’t asked yet. But when’s Arianna’s birthday?” Out of all the questions he’s asked over the last few weeks, that has not been one of them.

“She was born on May seventh at three in the afternoon and she weighed six pounds and nine ounces.” I explained as I heard him let out a deep sigh before I felt him shift in the bed to get comfortable.

“I’m sorry, Princess.” Nikki mumbled as I felt his hand run down my back.

“I know you are Nikki.” I said, grabbing his hand, lightly squeezing it before taking it away from my body.

*Nikkis POV, Next Morning*

I yawned, rubbing my eyes as I shifted in bed and moved some hair out of my face. I closed my eyes and deeply sighed as I felt Vanity move beside me. I glanced over, taking a double look as her bright red thong was out on display to me. Don’t be fucking weird, Nikki. I tried pulling the blanket up her body, it was tangled between her legs as she adjusted in her sleep. Her shirt, well my shirt bunched up higher around her torso as she snored slightly.

God, she looked so fucking beautiful. I sighed and gently rested my hand on her hip, feeling the coolness of her skin as it’s been exposed to the air. I traced my fingertips over the curve of her body and up her sides as she squirmed just a bit at the feathery touch. I slid my fingers back down, grazing over her thigh before Arianna ruined it all.

“Mom!! I’m hungry!!”

I’ve never seen anyone wake up so fast. I froze, taking my hand away from her as she sat up in bed , “Mom!! Breakfast!!” Arianna yelled again as Vanity groaned and laid back down.

“Okay!” Vanity yelled back as she pulled the blanket over her head. I heard her start to lightly snore again before Arianna yelled once more.

“I am coming!” She yelled back before throwing the blankets off of her and getting out bed and going to the adjoining living room.

If this is how mornings could or would be, with Vanity in bed beside me and our child yelling for her while I tried to cop a feel, I would take it any day of the fucking week.

129 notes · View notes

thesmokingguns · 3 years

Text

Off To the Races

Pairing: Nikki Sixx!Douglas Booth

Request: Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

Summary: You are my one true love. She is there for him at all of his worst moments. Coaxing him through his high, making him smile and laugh. She’s at parties dancing with her red smile calling for him. She’s swimming in the pool when he’s drunk and stoned. She’s there through it all. No ones loved Nikki like her. All consuming. His only thought. She is his entire world. And his works is crumbling.

Warning: Heavy themes of drug use, drug induced hallucinations, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts.

Word Count: 2270

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all @ayablackwood @agroupiewhore@thenobodies-inc @dannasixxworld @val-sixx@nikkisqueenofsleaze @rocknrollsoul76 @aggressive-slytherin

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

My eyes are heavy, fingers twisting the belt around my arm to loosen the pressure. The needle drops to the floor, the carpet holding any sound in. Blinking, looking around the cramped closet I see my journal, my revolver, and more smack for after this dosage.

What a life.

My head rolls back smacking the wood paneling with a dull thud that vibrates through me. My hands shaking, waves of fingers in front of me. There’s a bit of blood coming from the injection pin prick in my arm and I’m find myself stumbling to my feet, sweeping the gun off the floor and tucking it in the waistband of my jeans as I head to the bathroom.

It’s washing over me, the feeling I’m always chasing. The fleeting moment of happiness is like a warm blanket wrapping itself around me.

The giggle stops me in my tracks, eyes searching the hallway searching for her. I thought she had left after our last fight. She called me a quitter and was mad I was giving up my partying ways. She loved to have a good time and she thought I was giving up on her.

Guess she was wrong.

The flash of brown hair catches my attention and I’m stumbling, laughing as I chase her through the house. Her laughter was infectious and made me forget about the blood dripping down my forearm.

In the kitchen she turns, giving me that megawatt smile that felt like my heart was feeling something other than the melancholy that usually filled it. She stops and lets me catch her, letting me wrap my arms around her holding her close to me. Smelling the exotic sweetness of her hair as she engulfs me with her golden skin, bangles tinkling down her arms like a musical number.

Safe and warm, happiness and euphoria of her presence with me here. The place that was my Mecca of solitude. Pulling back, confused for a second I try to think about how she got here.

“How did you get in?” As if she senses the confusion in my voice she kisses me, giving me no doubt she is here with me. Warm and solitude against my skin, fire in my veins.

“You let me in.” She purred, letting her mouth kiss along my jawline. Soft hot breath tickling me as she pressed against me, bumping the gun as she rolled her body against mine. “It looks like you’re locked and loaded, ready to go.” Her hands in my hair as she’s touching parts of me I forgot existed.

God I missed this.

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh yeah

Light of my life, fire of my loins

Be a good baby, do what I want

Light of my life, fire of my loin

I wake up with a gasp.

What time is it? What day is it? Where am I?

Looking around, frantic panic as I realize I’m asleep in the lawn chair by the pool. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels is smashed beside me, glass decorating the concrete in sharp glares of warning.

The sound of a splash throws me off and there she is. Her brown hair wet as she rests her elbows outside the pool, placing her head in her hands with that gleaming smile.

“Well hello sleepyhead. Did you have good dreams?” I don’t know if she’s asking out of kindness or mocking me. I’m drenched in sweat, possibly from falling asleep in the LA afternoon but most likely from the night terrors that always haunt me.

I dreamt I was running. From who or from what was the issue. Everything in my brain was foggy. My eyes snapped up at the setting sun. Has it been a full day already? Was it longer?

The phone rang from inside the house and I knew it must be someone from the band calling or my drug dealer. One of those felt more important than the other and I wasn’t ready to admit which one that was.

I got up, swearing as a piece of glass cut open my door, glaring as she giggle and dipped under the water. A trail of blood followed me into the house as I picked up the phone.

“Hello.” My voice felt gruff and it hurt to talk, like I hadn’t used it in a while. My head was killing me and I felt ready to throw up.

What the fuck had I been doing?

“Jesus Nikki, we’ve been trying to reach you for a week.” A week? I had lost hours, maybe a day here and there but a whole week. Jesus Christ. “Are you okay man? Why don’t you come out tonight with us?” Tommy was begging me and I sighed.

I was embarrassed. I didn’t want everyone to see me when I had been on a bender. I hadn’t seen what I looked like yet but I was sure that it was like hell.

“I don’t know, T-Bone. I think I have the flu or something. I just don’t feel great.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Something fluttered beside me and there she was. A white dress on her thin frame. How had she dried off and changed so quickly? Was I loosing more time? Eyes shining as she held out a silver platter of white powder. She loved to party and must have known that my band would want to see me out. At least if I was doing coke with them they didn’t have to worry about finding me dead.

“Where are you going to be?” I relented, watching her twirl. The energy coming off her was exhilarating and I wanted to join her in the ever present state of delight.

My nose was down against the lines, snorting messily, my brain burning, eyes widening as I sniffed a few times to get the whole lot out of my nose. Wiping and then turning to her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go out on the town.” She was leading me to the bathroom. My blood rushing everywhere as I was alive and awake and fucking ready to party.

I need you to come here and save me

I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden

Kiss me on my open mouth

Ready for you

Why had I agreed to go to a club?

In the booth we had a mess of drugs, pills and coke scattered on the table like appetizers. Bottles of booze and half empty beer bottles added to the maze of debauchery.

How long have I been here?

I couldn’t remember driving or even getting to the club. All I could remember was hands all over me in the shower, washing the filth off myself. The gentle voice reminded me to wear long sleeves to hide my track marks.

My eyes searched for her. In the sea of women I was sure she would stand out. But all the flashing lights and the noise was confusing me.

The room was spinning, the conversation around me overwhelming me and I could feel Tommy’s hand on my back. My head rolled back, the club's lightning needed to be updated.

A hand was smacking my face and I saw Tommy, wide eyed, looking at me before I turned to the table, throwing up the only thing I had in my body. Brown liquid shot out, mixed with the acid in the stomach. It didn’t stop for what felt like a full minute.

When I finished, puke leaking down in steady droplets to the floor I grabbed a beer tang I had missed and chugged the foamy substance down. I tried not to make eye contact with the people giving us disgusting sneers.

“Oh baby, why don’t you let me take you home? Let me take care of you.” Her hands wrapped around me and I turned, nodding. Confused looks from everyone as I climbed out, reaching for her to take me back into the safety of her arms.

Light of his life, fire of his loins

Keep me forever, tell me you own me

Light of your life, fire of your loins

Her fingers were in my hair as I laid on her lap. The fire from my lighter hitting my pipe as I inhaled and exhaled the sweet delight.

Freebasing in my closet. But at least I wasn’t alone. I had her with me and that changed my usual mood of wanting to slit my wrists or press the gun against my head and pulling the trigger. Painting the inside of my closet with bits of skull fragments and blood-

“Come back to me.” Her voice was lulling me out of the dark place, pressing against my temples and using the magic of her voice to help me. She was the only one that was always there for me. Always making me feel better and dragging me from the pain of my life. Holding me in her arms, compassion and understanding.

She never judged me.

“Have we been here long?” She knew I liked to keep my responsibilities. I wanted to keep my appearance as the rockstar. I couldn’t let anyone know how bad that it had gotten. How I couldn’t stop. How doing drugs was the best part of my life. My one true love.

Except her. She was the one thing I loved more than drugs.

“You have band practice in a few hours.” She reminded me. Her voice was steady and calm, fingers running through my hair and keeping me calm as I took another hit.

I just needed a little more time before I could see anyone. Just a little more time in the closet with her holding me before going out into the world.

“Nikki, don’t let them tell you to give me up. I love you Nikki. Aren’t I the only one who has always been there for you? No one else cares for you like I do. They see you as a rockstar or as a junkie. But I see you. I see you.” Her words promised and I nodded my head, agreeing with her words. She was still so calm, even with the edge to her voice. The words stuck with me.

She saw me and I saw her too.

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

I didn’t want to go to band practice. I didn’t want them to see my shaking hands or ask my stupid fucking questions that didn’t matter.

At least she had agreed to go with me. Her brown hair wrapped in one of those silky driving scarfs like the 1960s, big sunglasses to hide the hangover in her eyes that she was surely feeling after we had partied. Her hand was on his lap, keeping him steady as he drove to the practice space.

Walking inside, I hide my eyes behind big sunglasses, I could feel the sweat glistening like a second skin on my body. Anxiety crippling me as I licked my lips wanting to get back to my house.

My eyes followed her, watching her move around the instruments shooting me a smile as she ran her hands down my bass. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Yo, Nikki, are you okay?” Tommy’s voice made me turn away from her nodding as I sat down hard on the couch. I had never brought a girl to practice before so I was sure they were surprised to see her. To see me so happy with someone.

“Come here.” I held my arms open, watching her smile as she bounced towards me twisting around the guys as they watched me. The brunette plopped down on my lap and I held her close looking out at them.

“What are you playing at?” Vince asked, the confusion was written across his face and I felt angry. Vince had been parading chicks through band practice for years. And now he was acting like this? Fucking asshole.

“Cmon, show her some respect, dicks.” She was shifting in my arms holding onto me and purring sweet words in my ears, my eyes closing and only coming awake when Vince kicked my shin.

“Show who respect?” My eyes went up to look at her but she was glaring at them. Her eyes were on fire as if she was protecting me from the band.

“Nikki, we should go. Let’s go home and I’ll take care of you. You don’t need this. I don’t need this. This was a bad idea, Nikki. A very bad idea.” She was getting up tugging at me to leave.

“My girl.” I was standing gesturing at her beside me, watching the way her dark eyes were slits now. Anger so clear as she tried to wrap herself around me and get me away from them.

They sat there, no one saying a word as they looked at each other and than a me. I turned to look at her, panic was there as she stepped forward touching my face, my eyes closing at the sweet caresses from her fingers. My skin feeling alive like bristling fire under her touch

“It’s me and you Nikki. Don’t forget how I love you. I love you always. No judgement. No-“

“Nikki, no ones there.” Tommy’s voice came out soft and I turned to look from her to him, feeling the slender hand slip out of mine. I went to tell her to wait but she was gone.

Whirling around I saw it was just the band in the space, no mystery brunette anywhere in sight. I collapsed on the couch gripping my hair as my teeth gnashed together.

This was the furthest it had come. The lowest point of my drug addiction. In my loneliness I had created a woman out of heroin. Someone to make me feel less alone when I shot up.

I created love through a needle and that was when I knew I needed to stop if I ever wanted to love anything again.

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

#nikki sixx #motley crue #nikki Sixx!douglas booth #Douglas booth!nikki Sixx #the dirt #the dirt 2019 #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx fan fiction #nikki sixx x oc #nikki six fanfic #nikki Sixx imagine #nikki sixx x reader #the dirt imagine #Spotify

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myfatbottomedgirls · 3 years

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Florence mornings

I’ve been thinking of writing fan fiction for years so I’ve decided to do a little blurb of Douglas Booth x y/n (genderless). This is my first piece so be kind! Just fluff!

You awake with the light streaming in through the sheer, white curtains. Stretching your limbs and looking to your left to him warmed your heart. His dark brown hair, falling slightly over one eye; his full lips slightly pursed in his slumber; smooth cheekbones and lines from every smiled he cracked when you told him one of your ridiculous, sleep-deprived ideas or silly dad jokes.

You stood up and found one of his shirts on the floor, buttoning just a few for decency and creeped your way into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. The two of you were in Florence for a romantic summer away. Douglas was taking a sabbatical from filming for the next year so you’d both moved out to sunny Italy for a few months. The flat you were renting was quaint, an open plan kitchen and living room, warm chestnut wood covering every surface, plants, books and older trinkets you had picked up throughout your relationship was in every nook and cranny of this beautiful flat.

As the coffee started you looked down on the rug you were standing on, a beautiful floral design on a cream woven base. You’d remembered when the pair of you bought it; it was a beautiful Saturday morning when you and Doug had decided to go on a walk through Camden Lock and get a warm drink and some breakfast, looking around the stalls and small music shops as you did so. When suddenly, it was like the sky had broken in two and the torrential rain started. Seeking shelter, the pair of you ran into the nearest shop, a small handmade rug store. Giggling at what had just been, you begin to look around, with Doug holding the small of your back as you ran your hands over the different materials, until you stumbled upon this very one. It reminded you of the one you had in your grandma’s kitchen when you were small.

Hearing the pot begin to whistle, you snap out of your happy flashback and are drawn back into reality and take the pot off the stove. Taking two small mugs out of the cabinet, you feel two hands wrap themselves around your middle and a sleepy head rest on your shoulder. You stop what you’re doing to turn your head slightly, receiving a kiss on the cheek. Giggling at Douglas’s sleepy, loved-up antics, you squeeze his hands and turn in his arms, wrapping yours around his neck.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” you say.

“Mmm, hello,” he replies giving you a lopsided smile with his eyes still closed.

Turning back around, you ask, “Coffee?”

“Always, thank you darling.”

“Open the balcony doors will you, love, need some more light in here now that you’re awake.”

Begrudgingly as he wished to stay with you in his arms forever, Doug does as asked, opening the doors and allowing the light to fall into the small flat, illuminating your soft features in the morning. He can’t stop staring as you perfect both of your coffees to exactly the way you both love it, grab the packet of cigarettes on the side and walk over to him, setting the coffees down on the small metal table you keep out there.

“What?” You ask softly as you begin to sit down and light your cigarette.

As you exhale Douglas looks at you with all the love a lover could ever hold in their heart for someone. He brushes your hair slightly out of your eyes, kisses your forehead and lightly shakes his head with a soft smile that seems permanently planted his face.

“Nothing, darling, thank you for the coffee.” He moves the other chair to sit adjacent from his lover and puts one hand on their leg as he lights his own cigarette.

Music from down the street can be heard flowing throughout the small town they’ve decided to reside in for the next few months. Content and happy, the lovers are in peace, paradise.

#Douglas Booth #douglas booth x reader #The Riot Club #riot club fanfic #nikki sixx fanfiction #douglas booth fluff #fanfic #fluff #riot club

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cryonme · 3 years

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† 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 †

“i have managed the Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, KISS, i had been dragged through the deepest shit with all kinds of mentally ill people. but i have never been through what Mötley Crüe put me through.”

main masterlist

𝙏𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙮 𝙇𝙚𝙚

coming soon

𝙉𝙞𝙠𝙠𝙞 𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙭

coming soon

#the dirt imagine #the dirt #the dirt nikki sixx #the dirt tommy lee #the dirt masterlist #the dirt fanfiction #the dirt fanfic #nikki sixx #tommy lee #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx one shot #tommy lee imagine #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee one shot #the dirt movie #douglas booth #roxie’s flicks

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gothpanda · 2 years

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A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 40: Memories

WORD COUNT: 8.2K

A/N: Hello! This is the end! Or at least I think? This is my first ever chaptered fic and I don't know how to properly end things. I'm scared I'll come back to do an epiloge just for the sake of coming back. But I know it must come to an end. Thank you everyone whose read the story while I wrote it out. And thank you to whoever reads this long after I've completed it. :)

TAGS: @nosebleedblitz @emariehorror @madamsixx

WARNINGS: none

Read On Ao3

September 23rd, 1988

Los Angles, California

Cars drove up and down the busy streets of downtown Los Angeles throughout the day as people reached work or school. People follow their designated schedules to be at a particular place at a specific time. Except in other cases, the people didn't follow those schedules and left others to wait for God knows how long for some kind of news. Once again, one of those people just happened to be Vince for what felt like the millionth time. In an occupied recording studio, engineers messed with their workstation to pass the time while glancing at 3/4th of Motley Crue inside the large booth, waiting for their singer to come around.

Nikki sat on the carpeted floor, in front of a wooden coffee table that became covered with everything he needed to make a photo album. Photos from years ago were scattered alongside cut pieces of colorful paper, sharpie markers, and glue sticks for decoration. With an intense frown and firmly pressed lips, Nikki concentrated on the picture in his hand, debating on where to put it would look best in the album. After some time of absolute silence from Nikki's end, Mick and Tommy towered over him with looks of confusion as they stared at everything. Nikki almost didn't notice until hearing Mick clearing his throat made his head look up.

"Uhm, what are you doing, Nik? You've had your nose towards the table since we got here," asked Mick.

"And not like old times. Why do you have all this stuff?" asked Tommy, sitting on the sofa behind Nikki. He reached over Nikki and grabbed a random handful of photos only to let out a soft gasp. A smile crept on Tommy's lips, going through the images of even his past. Nikki looked over his shoulder, smirking as he looked up at Tommy.

"Found something, T-Bone?" asked Nikki.

"Where the hell did you get these?" eagerly asked Tommy again.

"Your little sister. I found a box of film with old cameras in her apartment, and I thought they should get developed," said Nikki, resuming to glue photos in their perfect spots. Mick

grabbed his own stack to skim through, getting a soft smile as he sat down on the soda as well.

"These are so old, dude!"

"I understand getting old film developed to look back on memories, but what's with the whole craft project part of it?" asked Mick. Nikki sighed, labeling and gluing down what he thought looked suitable for the album.

"Because I'm starting to get incredibly bored and music can only do so much," said Nikki, glancing at his bandmates.

"Bored?" asked Mick.

"There wasn't anything to do while Sammi's at work and then I found this. I just wanted to surprise her and then it snowballed into a whole birthday present,"

"Wow, aren't you getting soft?" teased Tommy. Nikki glared at his terror twin, flipping him off with some affection. "I mean it! It's nice that you're making something sentimental for Sam. Not all of us can think of these things," reassured Tommy, dropping the stack of photos back on the table.

"Thanks. I hope she likes it when I give it to her,"

"If you're bored doing nothing, how come you don't get into photography with Sammi?" pointed out Mick. Nikki looked at Mick in a pondering thought, eyebrows creating deep elevens.

"Mick has a point, Nik. Since you and Sammi are so in love, you two can bond over that. I know Heather badgers me about bonding to 'grow' our relationship," said Tommy. Nikki only shrugged at the idea, continuing to work on the photo album as it seemed that was the only type of work he would be doing today.

"Guys, Vince just pulled into the building. I don't know if you want to talk to him before we begin?" asked the sound engineer. The men all glanced at each other in the form of communication. They waited for who would be the leader to respond. Of course, they all knew it was going to be Nikki.

"Yeah, just give us ten minutes," said Nikki. The sound engineer nodded towards the band and walked out from their side of the studio into the hallway. No one moved from their spots as they waited for Vince to walk through the double doors of the booth. It reminded Nikki of when Sammi and Sabrina caught them high, with Vince visibly angry. Nikki chuckled at the irony of being responsible and completely sober, unlike someone who should be. As Vince walked into the sound booth, he scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion when seeing two of his bandmates surrounding Nikki. The closer Vince got to the table, he could see the photos scattered out, only paying attention to the ones solely of Sammi.

"What the hell's going on here?" Vince asked indirectly to Nikki.

"You'd know if you were on time for once in your life," sarcastically said Mick. Vince mockingly chuckles.

"I'm not that late," objected Vince.

"Recordings were support to start thirty minutes ago," said Nikki, eyes still glued down at the album. Vince rolled his eyes in response.

"Nikki's making a photo album for Sammi's birthday," said Tommy, leaning on his knees as he watched Nikki create this piece of work. Vince raised a single eyebrow with a mischievous smirk upon his lips.

"Did you find any of Sam and me in those old photos?" asked Vince. Nikki didn't think to answer Vince but instead lifted his head as he began to think with eyes shifting to the lonesome bag on his far left. Nikki stood up in silence and pulled the bag off its stool, rummaging through it. Finally, he pulled out a separate stack of photos tied with a rubber band around the middle.

"Thanks for reminding me, Vince. I found these in mixed in the final photos and thought you'd all like to keep them," said Nikki, releasing the rubber band and skimming through the thick stack. "Sammi took photos of everything over the years. There's a bunch of us alone or with the Princess," Nikki gave Mick and Tommy around 10 photos of them from times they couldn't even remember. All though he wouldn't say it out loud, Mick felt appreciative of Sammi's love for her friends, seeing the pleasant memories he seemed to forget. Once facing Vince, Nikki held out the rest of the photos from a distance, wanting to keep the same happy feeling going around. Vince didn't bother to move, arms crossed and eyes staring at the pictures in the others hand.

"Come on, Vince, it's nice to look back at old memories sometimes," said Nikki, arm still raised. Vince only glared at Nikki before turning his back, ignoring the kind gesture. Defeated, Nikki flared his nostrils in annoyance and shook his head as Vince moved across the studio as if nothing. "You're really going to be like that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Why would I want photos from Sammi?" asked Vince with venom in his voice.

"Because she took fun pictures of us to look back on and try to remember. Come see when you were pleasant to be around!"

"Oh, I'm not fun anymore? I wonder why," spat Vince

"Could you tell us please because I'm wondering as well?" budded in Tommy.

"Maybe because he has to sneak behind everyone's back for a sip of whiskey," mumbled Nikki, putting the remaining photos back in his bag. Mick and Tommy faced Vince with raised eyebrows in silence to sound almost disappointed. Vince only cursed to himself as he looked away from his friends.

"Of course, she told you,"

"You thought she'd keep it to herself? After yelling at her about the shit hole you dug up for yourself?" asked Nikki, raising his voice.

"I didn't yell at-"

"Do not try to lie and make yourself look better, Vince. I thought having Sammi talk to you would be a good idea. She wanted to reach out as a friend after hearing why our asses came back home. But no, you decided to be a dick!" said Nikki.

"I don't want Sammi in my business! I don't even want you guys in it! I'm just here to do my job,"

"Job?! You don't even do that! You're either late or do the bare minimum when you are on time," argued Nikki. Arguments like these between the singer and bassist could go on for hours, but after learning life's lessons, someone knew to stop it. Mick tried to stand up from the sofa with all his strength, feeling the heavyweight in his bones. Then, with enough confidence, the oldest walked right in the middle of the yelling men, gently pushing some distance between them.

"Enough! We're already behind on schedule, and I'm sure the ten minutes are almost up. You two can fight a different day when I'm not around," said Mick. Nikki and Vince glared at each other before simultaneously huffing and splitting apart to their own spots in the studio. Nikki yanked his bag off the stool and carefully gathered what was laid out on the table as he heard the sound engineer and now Doc come back in.

"Hey, Tommy, can I ask you for a favor?" whispered Nikki, looking over his shoulder if Vince could hear him.

"Sure, man, what's up?" asked Tommy as he grabbed his drumsticks.

"I don't want Sammi to get curious about what's in here when I get home, so could you keep the bag safe for me? I'll pick it up when Sammi's at work tomorrow,"

"Oh, don't worry, the album's safe with me!" proudly said Tommy. "If you want, you could work on it at the house, and I'll help out. Heather should be out the whole day,"

"That would be awesome. I really appreciated it, T-Bone," said Nikki, swinging an arm around Tommy's shoulders.

"Hey anything for my brother-in-law,"

"Oh, you're so sure I'm going to be your brother-in-law?" asked Nikki with a playful smile.

"You've already been for quick some time, my dude," smiled Tommy, sitting right behind his drum set.

When Nikki unlocked the door of the now shared apartment, the smell of a lasagna welcomed the musician home, as well as the sight of Sammi on the sofa, watching something interesting from what he could hear. Nikki smiled to himself while slipping off his shoes in the corner.

"Hello, my love!" said Nikki, jumping down to the empty spot next to Sammi, wrapping a loving arm around her shoulders. Sammi couldn't help but let out a giggle, her hair lightly flying up from the sudden movement and taking hold of Nikki's hand. Sammi kissed Nikki on the cheek, relaxing comfortably by his side.

"Hello! Aren't you happy to be home?" teased Sammi.

"What's not to be happy about? A good day at the office and now I get to relax with my lady with some dinner,"

"You really didn't have any issues at the studio?"

Nikki only shook his head, paying attention to what was on the TV to distract from the question. Sammi had her ears locked on the news channel's recap of a trial case from earlier in the day.

"How was your day? No trouble at the hospital?"

"Somewhat hectic with patients and making sure everything is done on time. But at least I got home in time for the news to start!"

"Yeah, just for to watch that freak Ramirez pretend to be innocent in front of all the cameras,"

News cameras followed the defendant as he moved through the courtroom towards his seat. The courtroom appeared filled with other news reporters who wanted to get every detail the judge or lawyers would say, primarily if the defendant acted out in any way.

"He can pretend all he wants, here's no way his ass isn't getting life in prison. Or worse the death penalty,"

"I just don't get how he's bringing in all those women. The man manages to have groupies show up at his trial,"

"Now that you mention it, there is a chance some of those girls tried to get with you from the looks of them," teased Sammi, pointing out a blonde woman in the stands dressed in all leather.

"Please don't put that in my head after leaving my groupie days behind me," groaned Nikki as he rolled his eyes.

"What? You don't want to admit to having some questionable taste?" continued Sammi, nudging her elbow into Nikki's side.

"I believe out of the both of us, you're the one whose taste is pretty questionable," smirked Nikki. Sammi scrunched her eyebrows together with a frown.

"Did you just insult yourself?"

"Yes, I did. Anyways! Do you happen to know what's coming up soon?" asked Nikki quickly before Sammi had anything else to add. Sammi pursed out her lips in thought, trying to think the coming days ahead.

"Today's Friday. I don't remember planning anything for the weekend. I work all next week so I can't think of anything," said Sammi.

"Okay, let me give you a hint. It's one of your parents' proudest moments," Sammi broke into a chuckle as Nikki also smiled at Sammi, finally getting his clues, wrapping the tips of her hair around his finger.

"My birthday isn't for another two weeks, Nik,"

"Yeah, but it's good to plan ahead of time for a celebration so great. Is there any gift ideas in that little brain of yours?"

"How could I think of a gift if I can't even think of my birthday. A 7 to 5 takes up way too much space in my brain," complained Sammi.

"Not even the smallest thought of wanting something right now?" bugged Nikki. Sammi shook her head, dropping it back against the sofa with a sigh.

"You know what, you can surprise me with whatever you want. Do whatever you want and buy me whatever you- except a house or car- for my birthday. How about that?" smiled Sammi. Nikki's eyebrows shot up with glee, smirking as the wheels began to turn in his head.

"In that case, I'm going to have a nice chat with Athena and Tommy tomorrow. Maybe debate on if we should get a stripper or two," teased Nikki, only to get smacked in the chest by Sammi. "I'm kidding!" Nikki chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around Sammi, pulling her into a hug. Before Sammi could say anything, the timer on the kitchen counter rang out to alert the lasagna was done cooking. Nikki took the chance and launched himself off the sofa, heading straight towards the oven before Sammi could even register the sound of the timer going off.

"I could've gotten it, Nikki," said Sammi as Nikki took out the hot tray off of food, leaning against the kitchen bar. Nikki only shrugged his shoulders with a smug little smile on his lips, ready to grab plates from the cabinet. Before Nikki could take another step, Sammi reached out for Nikki's arm, tugging him close into a loving kiss. "You're sweet,"

"Thanks. Someone helped me with that," said Nikki, nipping Sammi's chin and giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You get the drinks and I'll serve this up,"

"Sir, yes, sir," shouted Sammi, saluting Nikki as she marched to the cabinet, pulling out two glasses, one for soda and the other for lemonade in the fridge.

October 1st

North Hollywood

The closet door opened from the spare bedroom slowly turned into an office for both Nikki and Sammi. But with now two people in an apartment together, a mess of boxes, suitcases, and other random things started to accumulate within the spare room. All by herself, Sammi chucked a carry-on bag to the top shelf of the closet, fixing it neatly to add a box labeled journals from Nikki right after. When reaching for another one of Nikki's boxes, Sammi knocked down a standing suitcase with her leg, the luggage falling with a soft thump. Sammi mumbled a 'dammit' as she put the box in the closet, then grabbed onto the handle to lift the light suitcase.

As she was putting away the suitcase in the closet, Sammi could hear the sound of something rattle inside from the slight movement. Sammi shook the suitcase with more force to listen to the rattle more clearly with a confused frown on her face. She knew the bag was one Nikki and her shared but knew they took everything out after a trip. Sammi kneeled to the ground as she unzipped the suitcase, revealing a relatively thick blue book by itself with a small photo of Sammi's face. The photo album. She didn't let her curiosity get the best of her as Sammi only examined the front and back cover of the album, touching the decorative felt. The sound of the front door unlocking stopped Sammi from almost taking her first peek inside the album.

"Babe, I'm back! The line at Davey's was freaking ridiculous, but I have the bagels and coffee," yelled Nikki from the front of the apartment, locking the door behind him. Sammi rose from the ground with the album close to her side as she left the spare bedroom. Nikki paid no attention when he heard Sammi's footsteps come towards the kitchen, back turned while grabbing their food from the paper bag.

"Hey, Love, what's this album doing in your suitcase?" asked Sammi, holding up the album as Nikki faced her. Nikki's relaxed and clueless smile turned into a frozen frown, darting his eyes between Sammi and the album. A cough only came from Nikki to clear his throat, staying silent. "Nik?"

"Did you open that?" asked Nikki.

"You still didn't answer my question," said Sammi, grazing her fingers between the pages, ready to look at a random page of what was inside.

"No! Please. Don't," sighed Nikki in an almost defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's your birthday present that I've been working on," Sammi's eyes opened wide as her eyebrows rose fast.

"Oh! Wait? What?" asked Sammi, confused.

"I got the idea to make you a photo album awhile back. I was going to give it to you this Saturday all wrapped up, but I guess not,"

"But when did you start doing this? I hadn't seen you do any sneaking around since you've been back,"

"That's because I have the help of your work schedule. One of the days I was bored and home alone, I found all of your old cameras with either film still in them or in the casings," said Nikki, walking over to Sammi, where he then grabbed the album to admire his work. "There were some photos I found from before we even met and when we were just friends,"

"I promise to you, Nikki, I didn't open it at all. I thought it was something Tommy had given to you from my mom,"

"Well, he did hide it for me so this exact moment wouldn't happen,"

"Love, I'm sorry I ruined the surprise. How about you put it somewhere where you know I won't find it and I'll wait 'til my birthday like you wanted,"

"That's a nice idea, Princess, but I think it's little unfair to deprive you of your birthday," smiled Nikki.

"Did you at least get to finish it?" pouted Sammi.

"To my own surprise, I did. There were a lot of photos to go through and not enough room. I'll get the coffee while you go open your gift," said Nikki as he kissed Sammi on the forehead and reached for the two paper cups of coffee while Sammi dropped herself on the sofa, waiting. Sammi smiled down at the album in her lap, hands caressing the felt fabric covering the front and back. Then, right when Nikki sat beside her, Sammi opened the book to the first page of a short-written letter.

Happy birthday, Princess. I love you. I appreciate you more and more with each day that passes. This photo album was something I wanted to make for you, to look back on all the good times you've captured from your life.

The flip of a page was all it took for Sammi to gasp in awe from Nikki's present.

"Oh my gosh, is that-?"

"A sixteen-year-old Sammi?"

"Damn. I guess I'm not the best photographer if you found film this old,"

"It made it out alive in the end though,"

Sammi smiled down at the photo album in her lap, grazing her fingers on every single detail written in Nikki's handwriting.

"You really sat down, labeled, and decorated on every single page. Nikki, this is so sweet!"

"Let's look through it before I get any well-deserved praise," said Nikki, turning the next page to be deeper into his creation.

October 9th, 1982

Portland, Oregon

"Smile!" yelled the tour roadie, pointing an old Canon camera at the motley-looking crew where the boys dressed back into their 'normal' clothes. Sammi held a tight grip around Mick's neck to keep him in the photo, leaning on his back while she sat on the top of the tattered sofa. Tommy and Nikki had laid across both Athena and Mick's lap, each with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a wide-tooth smile. On the other hand, Vince tried to keep his distance even while sitting closer beside Sammi on the sofa's base. Then, with their own versions of a smile, the group stayed still as the camera flash blinded them for a few seconds.

"Thank you," smiled Sammi, kissing Mick on the cheek, chuckling at his 'annoyed' grunt.

"You're lucky it's your birthday, Little Girl," said Mick, standing up to find another beer in the mess of people backstage. Sammi hopped off the sofa as the roadie gave her back the camera, looking around the room for something else to shoot.

"Get off of me, Tommy! You stick of sweat," complained Athena, pushing herself away from Tommy. Athena followed Mick to the other end of the space only to be distracted by the looks of a man she had never met. The Terror Twins didn't bother to move from the sofa; Nikki propped himself on one elbow to take a sip of the straight whiskey while Tommy laid straight on his back. When Sammi turned towards the couch, she looked at the two with glee, pointing the camera in their direction.

"Say cheese, Nik," said Sammi, capturing Nikki sticking out his tongue to Sammi, knowing it would make her giggle even if it was for a second.

"That's the money shot," declared Nikki, jumping up from the sofa, getting a dizzy spell right when he stood on his two feet. Vince paid no attention to his surrounding as the white powder he became friends with took effect, looking around the place with alcohol in his hand. Only a bright flash was able to snap Vince out of his thoughts, blinking to catch Sammi with her camera aimed at him.

"Sorry, Vince, you just looked nice sitting there. I just had to take a photo," said Sammi, putting the camera away in her messenger bag and stepping out into the hallway. Vince remained silent but with an unmistakable puppy love smile on his lips. From the deep corner, Nikki could see Vince's 'stupid' expression as Sammi left, taking this as his cue to follow her wherever she went. If Vince wasn't going to use his time to talk to Sammi, Nikki was most certainly going to take the time. Luckily, Nikki wasn't completely intoxicated like most nights, walking with a head held high through the backstage corridor towards the stage. It wasn't hard to find Sammi standing on the side of the main stage, watching the crowd go crazy for Kiss. Sneaking behind the short girl, Nikki placed his chin on the crown of Sammi's head, causing Sammi to reach above and touch the bassist's face.

"It's me, dumb-dumb," chuckled Nikki, stepping alongside Sammi.

"I'm just checking. You've could've been Tommy," smiled Sammi, shouting close to Nikki's ear.

"Your brother is dead asleep somehow in the back,"

"I don't blame him. I'm already tired and it's only been a day with you guys," with the change of a song from Kiss, Sammi walked back towards the corridor with Nikki in tow, leaning against the wall.

"But you're having fun, right?" asked Nikki.

"Yes, Nikki, I really am. It's a birthday for the books," smiled Sammi.

"If you want, we can walk down the street to find something to eat. I've hardly eaten anything all day," suggested Nikki.

"I can tell," teased Sammi, playfully poking Nikki right in the ribs to see him flinch. "But alright. Lead the way,"

Nikki offered an arm for Sammi, walking straight to the exit door without thinking of telling anyone where the two were going.

Nikki & Sammi didn't need to walk far from the stadium, finding themselves almost entirely alone in a 24-hour McDonald's. They sat across from one another at a table by the window, Sammi looking out the passing cars. Her attention was snapped back into the present after hearing Nikki speak.

"Huh?" Nikki chuckled with Sammi before getting a chance to swallow.

"I asked how's school. Are you getting sleepy on me, Princess?"

"No, I just spaced out for a second. I am pretty tired though," said Sammi, grabbing a fry from her plate.

"You can sleep on the plane. So, what's college like?" asked Nikki again.

"Why do you want to know so much?" Nikki just gave a shrug.

"I don't know, it just seems like an interesting place. I didn't finish high school to even try college,"

"It's hard beyond belief sometimes. I'm starting to question if I even want to a vet anymore. It's too many years, too much reading, too much money to become one,"

"Too many years? You sound as if you're already 30 and don't know anything for your life,"

"It feels like it sometimes," muttered Sammi.

'Shut. Up! You just turned nineteen yesterday. You'll be fine, now eat, or I'll drag your tired ass to a club again,"

Sammi followed Nikki's 'instructions' with a chuckled, taking a bite of her cheeseburger. As the two ate in comfortable silence, a question Sammi couldn't shake off popped into her mind.

"Hey Nik, speaking of clubs um… the kiss?" timidly asked Sammi. The question caught Nikki entirely off guard, coughing to clear his throat from almost choking on his food.

"What- What about it?" asked Nikki, covering his mouth as a form of hiding.

"I just want to make things clear between us & my siblings before I get furthered questioned. The kiss didn't mean anything, right?"

Nikki's breath hitched in his chest, looking out the window to almost prepare him for what he would say.

"Ye-yeah. The kiss meant nothing. I only did since it was your birthday & that was the only thing that popped in my head," stuttered Nikki, glancing at Sammi then down at the table.

"And that's what I thought! Plus, we weren't anywhere near sober, so it was all in good fun,"

"Exactly… all in good fun," mumbled Nikki, sipping his soda with his eyes laid low.

"Hey," said Sammi, lightly kicking Nikki under the table. Nikki flipped his hair to cover up his eyes, hiding away from the girl. "Let's take a photo together before we head out,"

"Only because it's your birthday, Princess," Nikki smirked, getting up from his seat to move beside Sammi. Sammi took the Canon out of her bag, setting it up while feeling Nikki's armrest behind her seat, before pointing at themselves. But, unbeknownst to Sammi, she would be the only one giving a genuine smile.

September 29th, 1983

San Fernando Valley

Smoke in the air wafted throughout the two-story house. A mess of people gathered in every corner of the house, dancing or talking. Music blasted so loud; it could be heard almost perfectly outside. Sammi tried to walk throughout the house, squeezing herself past high or drunken people. It had been about 20 minutes since Sammi arrived at the house, but now she needed to find people she knew in the completely unknown place. As Sammi walked further into the house with fewer people and 'cleaner' air, her eyes caught a surprisingly familiar face unaware of her.

"You've got to be kidding me?" muttered Sammi to herself. Sammi walked closer to the familiar face standing against the wall alone, standing in front of them, still unaware. Sammi cleared their throat in emphasis to get their attention, flashing a fake smile.

"Hello, Princess," said Nikki, arms crossed and face stern.

"Well, hello, Jackass," replied Sammi, mimicking Nikki's same face. Nikki almost groaned at Sammi, dragging a hand through his hair as he rolled his eyes. "Fancy seeing you here,"

"I could say the same for you. What are you even doing all the way over here in The Valley?"

"Vince told Athena & I about this party. Now I have no idea where those idiots are," Sammi said with annoyance in her voice, looking back at the crowds of people. "What are you doing here?"

"A couple of guys Tom and I hang out with dragged me here. They're with some randoms for all I know," shrugged Nikki.

"Sound like great friends,"

"Yeah, they're the best…" mumbled Nikki.

A silence quickly grew between Nikki and Sammi, looking anywhere but each other. They didn't know who should speak up first after not seeing one another since they were fighting. Nikki was sober from any drugs at the moment, causing him to feel his emotions like an average person for once.

"I'm sorry," cracked Nikki. Sammi didn't bother to react to Nikki, only turning her head away from him even if she didn't want to move from the spot. "Sammi, can you please say anything?"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Nikki. You know that," stated Sammi. Nikki dropped his head with a defeated sigh, and slouched shoulders, wishing the music was louder to drain his conscience that Sammi started to bring out in him.

"Can we just forget I ever touched that stupid chick?" begged Nikki. Sammi rolled her eyes, dragging a hand through her hair in disbelief.

"No! Not until you own up to your mistake,"

"Trust me, I know hooking up with Roxie was a mistake,"

"Then tell Tommy! It's already been two weeks since that video shoots and nothing!" shouted Sammi, casting a few heads turned in their direction. Nikki only glared at the strangers to make them go away. Nikki gently pulled Sammi closer to him, having her arm yanked away from his grasp. Sammi leaned against the wall with enough space as she scowled at the taller man.

"Sammi, I seriously don't have the heart to tell Tommy. I already feel like shit enough," whispered Nikki.

"You have a heart? I had no idea!" sarcastically said Sammi. Nikki narrowed his eyes at Sammi, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Are you just going to be a dick to me from now on?"

"Yep!" Sammi said with an enthusiastic smile.

"Even when you join the tour?" asked Nikki. Sammi averted her eyes away from Nikki's gaze, pressing her lips firmly together.

"I haven't made up my mind yet. So far, the answer is starting to look like a no even more,"

"You may act pissed off now, but I know you love hanging out with us more than your two stupid roommates," Sammi's eyes bulged open wide with a tight jaw and open mouth, scoffing at Nikki.

"You hardly know shit about me, Nikki, and don't act like you care either. Don't hold your breath on anything," bitterly said Sammi.

"Whatever, Princess. We'll see about that when December comes around," said Nikki, rolling his eyes.

"Will you stop calling me that?! You don't get to call me anything other than Sammi until you man up & take responsibility. And even then, just stop it entirely!" ordered Sammi, pointing a sharp finger at Nikki's chest.

"Fine, Sammi. Hope you find your sister soon," said Nikki, biting the inside of his cheek

"Fine," said Sammi, pushing herself off the walk to turn her back to Nikki until feeling a grasp on her arm. "What?"

"Are the birthday flowers off the table to until I man up?" smirked Nikki.

"You are so annoying," groaned Sammi, rolling her eyes as she finally walked away from Nikki. She gave a final glance back to Nikki from a safe distance, a subtle sting in her chest when catching him completely alone. Digging into her messenger bag, Sammi pulled out her old Canon that she decided to bring, setting it up before taking a photo of an unaware Nikki. Sammi then put the camera away, stepping outside to finally see Vince standing by a keg with a clear solo cup in one hand.

"There you are! Athena just went to the restroom to find you!" said Vince, throwing one arm around Sammi giving her his beer. Sammi stayed silent with a 'happy' smile on.

August 9th, 1984

Downtown Los Angeles

"Are you sure the band's okay with us crashing their practice?" asked Emma. In Elektra's new recording studios shared with other record labels, Sammi led her two new friends to the end of the hallway, looking down at her new camera in her hands. "Sam?" asked Emma again, finally getting Sammi's attention.

"Oh yeah they'll be cool with it. Plus, it's not crashing if I asked my brother beforehand," said Sammi. Right as the girls reached the end of the hallway, they could hear the loud echo of laughter from Tommy in the big booth area of the studio. Sammi didn't bother to knock or cautiously peek inside before opening the door, walking right in as if she owned the place, happy then confused to only see three members of Motley with their instruments. Emma and Sabrina timidly followed Sammi, standing close behind their shorter friend. Tommy was the first to look in the girl's direction, his excited frame slouching once he set his eyes on the three girls.

"Hey guys, Sammi's here… with friends," said Tommy, walking toward his sister as he threw his drumsticks.

"You seem happy to see me," sarcastically said Sammi, pulling Tommy in for a side hug.

"Sorry, I thought you were Vince. He's late for the millionth time," complained Tommy. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is?"

"No, I haven't seen him since I left his place last night. How late is he?"

"An hour. Are you sure you don't know where you boyfriend is?" butted in Nikki, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he walked over to the order of the studio. From the stern and cold look on Nikki's face, it was clear as day the feelings in the studio, Sammi immediately wanting to fix it.

"Doesn't matter. Would you mind introducing us to these beautiful ladies right here?" asked Tommy with a flirty smile on his lips in front of Emma and Sabrina. Sammi couldn't resist rolling her eyes, playfully punching Tommy's shoulder as he gawked at her new friends.

"Tommy, Nik, this is Emma," Sammi gestured towards the olive-skinned brunette. "Who coincidently is from Covina. She was a grade below me in high school," Tommy's eyebrows shot up with curiosity, elbowing Nikki with discretion.

"Well, isn't a small world. I'll have you know I went to every swim team meet before I… left," said Tommy, grabbing softly onto Emma's hand.

"And if I remember correctly, you only went for the blondes every time before you 'left,'" jokingly said Emma, snatching her hand away from Tommy with a smirk when looking at Tommy's deflated face. Nikki couldn't help but chuckle at Tommy's lousy luck, already liking the stranger.

"And this is Sabrina. She recently moved to L.A from Sacramento," continued Sammi with the introductions.

"Hi," politely said Sabrina with a short wave and smile.

"That's Mick, over there, by the way. He's a man of a few words," said Tommy. Emma and Sabrina only waved at the silent man who only cared about his guitar.

"It's nice to meet you girls. Hopefully it goes better than last time," uttered Nikki to Sammi.

"Shut. It. Nikki," said Sammi through her teeth, walking toward Mick without his awareness. Then, Sammi pulled and pointed her camera at Mick from a slight distance, taking a photo that finally made the guitar player lookup with an intense frown on his face. "Hi, Mick!"

"What's with the photo, Little girl?" asked Mick.

"I wanted to take photos of your guy's practice. Also, you haven't noticed anybody since I walked in so had to get your attention somehow,"

"I don't remember hiring you to be the photographer," teased Nikki, ruffling Sammi's hair as he went back to the sofa next to Mick.

"It was a company decision by Mr. Harrison. We just forgot to tell you all," chimed in Sabrina, standing next to Sammi.

"And how do you know the CEO's name?" asked Nikki with a raised eyebrow.

"I intern here," chimed Sabrina. Nikki and Tommy looked almost impressed at Sabrina, looking at Emma, who now stood next to Sabrina.

"You're not going to tell us you're a secretary too?" asked Nikki. Emma and the girls chuckled at Nikki, sitting on the carpeted floor.

"No, all I do is swim and tag along for comedic relief," said Emma, leaning back on her elbows.

Like the boys, Emma and Sabrina grew into a motion of comradery with one another. Sammi took the chance to take photos of everyone and everything in the studio. When Nikki or Tommy strike a pose, Sammi shooed them to relax, wanting more candid images of the day to look back on later. Mick was the only one of the three to get the message, mainly focusing on the writing he and Nikki needed to work on to take up the time. It wasn't until the clock read 4:30 that the missing link finally walked through the booth's double doors.

Vince halted when his eyes first laid on was Sammi sitting a bit too close to Nikki on the sofa, reading the bassist's notebook of lyrics. It was the giggle Sammi made that caused Vince's chest to twitch in a rage, kicking the door closed to grab the attention of everyone, especially Nikki's. Sammi quickly jumped out of her spot with a smile, dropping the notebook back on Nikki's lap, jogging over arms open wide.

"Hey, babe!" said Sammi, embracing Vince with a quick peck on the cheek. Vince immediately grabbed Sammi by her cheeks and brought her into an intense kiss, hearing a small, surprised squeak from his girlfriend. Seating on the carpeted floor, Emma and Sabrina shared a glance of cautious curiosity behind their friend's back to not cause any more tension. Sabrina did, however, look up at Nikki's annoyed face, moving away from him as he too got up from the sofa.

"Hi, beautiful. I hope you didn't have to wait too long for me," said Vince, wrapping his arm securely on Sammi's waist.

"I was able to pass the time. I want you to meet my friends," excitedly said Sammi, pulling Vince's hand to the center of the recording lounge. Emma and Sabrina hopped up from the floor, standing straight in front of the shorter man, both with polite smiles. "This is Emma. We actually went to high school together," Sammi pointed to Vince, "and this is Sabrina. She just moved here. This is my boyfriend Vince, girls,"

"It's great to meet you two. If I knew we were going to have guests, I would've come earlier," Vince excused himself.

"Vince, it's a sin to lie," chimed in Tommy from his drum set. Vince glared behind his shoulder at Tommy to then flash at Nikki, who kept staring at him right by Tommy.

"Don't listen to Blondie, girls. He's always late to almost every session," complained Nikki. Vince flips Nikki behind his back without the girl's acknowledgment, Nikki rolling his eyes. "Can we finally get started with practice?" asked Nikki.

"Yeah, Nik, we'll be on the sofa, so we're out of your guy's way," said Sammi, moving away from Vince's grasp on her. Before the girls could take their seats, Vince grabbed the canon camera off the table with a smirk on his face. He pulled Sammi back to his side with force, wrapping his arms tightly once again.

"Here, Emma, take our picture," ordered Vince passing it to Sabrina. Sabrina didn't say a word and only gave it to the right person, no change in her face at all. Emma glanced down at the camera to check it was ready in its place, looking through the viewfinder.

"Say cheese," said Emma. Vince and Sammi both smiled widely, close together, unaware of the boys being in the background, all with annoyance but not for Sammi. As Emma pressed the button, no flash or click was heard, confusing both the photographer and Sammi. "I think we finished the film?"

"What? That's not fair. You didn't think to save enough for us, babe?" asked Vince with a scowl, stepping away from Sammi. Sammi's cheeks flushed in deep pink, darting her eye to her boyfriend and the camera in a nervous tick.

"I-I-I swear, I double-checked to make sure the roll was new before leaving my apartment," stuttered Sammi. Nikki shot up from the stool behind the couple instantly, gently pulling Sammi away to sit down, and began pushing Vince towards the middle of the room.

"Oh well! Too bad! Vince, you have work to do. You can take photos later on your own time," said Nikki, grabbing his bass to plug in the cords. Sammi hung her head low to hide the pink cheeks, messing with her hands as a distraction. Emma and Sabrina sandwich Sammi between them, leaning on her for comfort to erase the awkward situation. Then, as Sammi glanced up to the boys, Nikki winked at her with ease, winning a small smile.

July 13th, 1985

Malibu, California

The summer sun roasted immense heat on the beachy city, not stopping anyone from their weekend. Right by the waters were crowds of both tourists and locals enjoying time off with the hot sand between their toes. At the end of the beach hosted the lavish homes of the mega-wealthy. Some houses had the luxury of the water as their backyards. Sammi, Emma, and Sabrina rode along the rich roads of Malibu in the backseat of a Lincoln town car sent from Nikki, a complete surprise to both Emma and Sabrina. The girls couldn't help but gawk at the passing mansions that cost more than they'll make in their entire lives.

"Where the hell is Nikki taking us?" asked Sabrina.

"The only thing he told me was party in Malibu. I've never been here before," said Sammi, relaxing against the Italian leather seats.

"None of us have been here before, so how does Nikki know Richie Rich?" asked Emma, still staring out the window.

"Some music guy from a different record label that obviously knows how to spend their money," said Sammi, grabbing her bag from the floor of the car.

The car soon pulled up to a gigantic two-story cream-colored house with gold pillars and a stone walkway. The open garage showed off six all-black expensive sports cars, either Ferrari or Porsche, to what Sammi can tell. Sammi stepped out of the town car with Emma and Sabrina by her side, thanking the driver before closing the passenger door. With the front door wide open, chatter from others and the good music could be easily heard, showing the girls they weren't walking to the wrong house. The girls entered the grand foyer, finding the home decorated with more accents of gold, from the marble floor to the two front staircase rails. Sammi couldn't help but feel smaller as they stepped further into the home, finding themselves in the sunken living room.

"Sammi!" Nikki yelled behind the girls, coming out of what appeared to be in the direction of the kitchen. In swim shorts and an open button-down, Nikki walked up with open arms, embracing Sammi in an affectionate hug only. "Emma, Sabrina, it's always a pleasure to you two," said Nikki, touching Sabrina's shoulder for acknowledgment.

"Yeah, hi, who's house is this?" whispered Emma, walking closer to Nikki to not bring attention to them. Nikki chuckled, still holding onto Sammi like she was doing to him.

"Aerosmith's manager. Clearly, he's getting a nice percentage from them," joked Nikki, looking around the house. Both Emma and Sammi's eyes shot open wide, Sammi pulling herself away from Nikki's grasp.

"Are you telling me Steven Tyler could very much be here?" asked Sammi, pursing her lips out. Nikki nodded with a mischievous grin, laughing with Emma and Sammi's shocked face.

"Steven's single right now, Emma, if you want to have some fun for a month or two," suggested Nikki. Sabrina couldn't help but burst into a chuckle while Sammi only smirked at Emma, who turned playfully annoyed, leaving Nikki confused. "What?"

"Uhm, Nikki, can I be honest with you?" asked Emma, looping her arm around Nikki's as the whole group walked outside to the backyard.

"I guess?" said Nikki, sitting on the lounge chairs by the pool with Sammi by his side. Emma leaned forward from their lounge chair, looking around at her surroundings.

"I'm gay," whispered Emma. Nikki's eyebrows shot up in surprise, trying his hardest to not bring attention to themselves as others passed them.

"Well shit, finally found a woman I have something in common with!" joked Nikki, smiling at Emma, pleased to see her sigh in relief.

"Hey!" said Sammi, scrunching her brows at Nikki. Everyone beside Sammi cracked out into laughter, Nikki pulling Sammi in for a hug and Sabrina doing the same for Emma. "We have stuff in common, and I'm a woman," pouted Sammi.

"Princess, I also want to kiss you all the time. It is not the same thing," teased Nikki, kissing Sammi's forehead while she continued to pout. Emma and Sabrina glanced at each other with a knowing smile as they watched the couple be in pure bliss and in their own little world. Before anyone in the group moved to get a drink or show off their bathing suit, Sammi reached into her tote bag and pulled out her old Canon camera. As a group of girls walked towards the lounge chairs, Sammi reached out to stop the nicest looking one.

"Hey, would you mind if you take out photo?" politely asked Sammi.

"Oh, of course not!" said the girl, grabbing the camera from Sammi's reach. "Pose and say cheese!"

Nikki wrapped his arms around Sammi from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder with a soft smile and bright eyes. The intimidating member of one of the most famous hard rock bands shows a moment of softness for everyone to see.

Pressed into Nikki's side, Sammi closed the photo album with a fond smile, then pressed her lips against the pleather material, the memories she captured over the years finally one place to remember. Finally, Sammi straightened herself to face Nikki, cradling his face with her hands, kissing him on his forehead.

"Thank you," uttered Sammi. Nikki held onto the hand that cupped his cheek, leaning into the touch as he only stared warmly at Sammi. Finally, he reached out for one single kiss to then sigh with great relief for the end of his little project. It was the most nerve-wracking process he had ever experienced, even if the man's life was a roller-coaster enough.

"I'm happy you loved it. There were too many memories in those cameras to not have them developed," said Nikki. "Some of them surprising me,"

"Like your portrait?" chuckled Sammi, resting against the fluffy sofa pillows.

"Well, I was thinking of all the photos from on the road, but I do look good in that photo," said Nikki, resting his hand on Sammi's spread-out leg in his lap. "Even if you were pissed at me,"

"When was I not?" teased Sammi. Nikki pinched Sammi's leg in response, chuckling at her yelp. "And yet I still couldn't stay away now, could I?"

"Something I'll always be grateful for," Nikki said, leaning forward to kiss Sammi on the lips, almost climbing on top of her. However, Nikki didn't bother to sit back down, laying his head on Sammi's chest right where he could hear her heartbeat. Sammi's hand immediately found its way onto the long black locks, running her nails softly on Nikki's scalp. Nikki closed his eyes with a sigh of content from the feeling. "I love you," mumbled Nikki.

"I love you too," replied Sammi, kissing him on his head. The couple laid together on the sofa with no worries running through their heads for once, enjoying the slow afternoon. Nikki listened to Sammi's steady heartbeat that put him back to sleep just as Sammi followed shortly behind him. The calm feeling between them was almost foreign yet appreciated compared to the treacherous path they made for years. Now it was time to create a new path that both Nikki and Sammi wanted to make that lasted for miles until their last days.

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 3 months

Text

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, mentions of past child abuse and cancer

Previous Chapter

Chapter 19- Truth comes out

"Who did this to you?" Nikki questioned, his fingers brushing over the dark bruise around your neck.

It had been a long time since you had heard that protectiveness in the bassist's voice. It had been a long time since you had seen him. And an even longer time since he had touched you like this.

"It doesn't matter." You sighed.

"Was it Vince?"

"What? No! He would never hurt me. Never." You insisted and Nikki nodded, his brows furrowing as he brushed his thumb over the bruise carefully.

"Tell me who and I'll fuck 'em up."

"It was my father and Vince already fucked him up."

Nikki's eyes widened in surprise knowing you hadn't been in contact with your father since you were a teenager. Nikki had questions. You could tell that he had many questions to ask but seemed to be holding himself back.

His sea green eyes were watching you worriedly. The last time you saw each other was that day at the studio. The day Vince had quit, and you walked away.

The guilt of that weighed heavily down on your shoulders. Mötley Crüe were finished. It didn't matter that they had a new singer, the band was over the moment Vince left and it was your fault.

"If you want me to leave. I'll leave." You whispered.

"I don't want you to leave, princess."

Just hearing that old nickname bought tears to your eyes and you lowered your head so he wouldn't see them fall. Nikki Sixx had seen you cry too many times to count over the years. You didn't want him to see you cry anymore.

"Come inside. Can I get you a drink?" Nikki offered. "I'm sober, so there's not many options."

You smiled, heart swelling with pride hearing that.

"Water is fine."

He disappeared in the kitchen, and you walked over to his couch and sat down hugging your knees to your chest. Nikki returned shortly after handing you a glass of cold water which you took with a small smile.

"It's not that I'm not happy to see you after all this time, because I am. But what's going on?" Nikki asked worriedly.

"Skylar died."

"Oh, fuck." He sighed heavily the shock of that information hitting him hard. "I'm so sorry."

You fiddled with the glass of water as Nikki walked around the couch and sat down beside you.

He asked what happened. You told him about the tumour and cancer that spread through the little girl's body. He asked about Vince, and you told the truth. Your brother was a mess but was trying to get himself better.

The two of you sat together in silence after that, Nikki trying to process everything while you sat there fiddling with the empty glass trying not to cry.

Grieving was hard.

Whether it was for your own baby or someone else's. Grief in general for a lack of a better word... sucked.

The suckiest part about it was how lonely grieving made you feel. And yeah, sure, your family had been mourning the loss of Skylar. But you've been mourning the loss of your own baby too because you had never really allowed yourself to grieve that unborn child until now.

And then you'd felt angry at yourself for it because that was in the past and Skylar had just died. Your little niece had just died, but you weren't only thinking about her. And that made you feel guilty. And then that guilt turned into anger. And you were angry at yourself for being angry because dear God, it wasn't like they had died on purpose, but it happened, and you couldn't save either of them.

So, you were angry.

You were angry at the world because it kept spinning after those horrible deaths. And you were angry that you were still living when Skylar had her whole life ahead of her and your own baby never got to draw its first breath.

But you know what? You'd take the anger, the sadness and the guilt because the only reason all of that existed within you now was because love existed first. Because it still existed in you now. And you knew that if you had loved Skylar less or never found out about your pregnancy, things would be easier, but you didn't want to live in that world.

So, yeah, you had a lifetime of those sticky grief feelings ahead, but you welcomed them with open arms because you had four years of love with Skylar and a couple months of knowing about your baby and that will always, always be worth it.

"Shit, princess."

Your head snapped in Nikki's direction to find his sea green eyes swimming with tears, and you very quickly realised that you had just said all of that out loud.

"Can I hold you?" He asked, wiping his teary eyes.

"Please."

Nikki shifted closer on the couch before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you gently into his side and kissing the top of your head. You buried your face against his chest and squeezed your eyes shut not wanting this moment to end because you had missed this. You had missed him so fucking much.

Nikki eventually let go of you, saying something about needing to piss before he disappeared leaving you on the couch. You were pretty sure that the bassist just needed a moment alone to compose himself because he hadn't allowed himself to mourn or grieve over your unborn baby until now either.

You reached up and rubbed your thumb over the scars and cuts on your wrist thinking about your brother. Thinking about Skylar. Thinking about Razzle. Thinking about your unborn baby. Thinking about everything.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear Nikki approaching until he sat back down beside you causing you to nearly jump out of your skin at his sudden presence. His shoulder was touching yours and you quickly shifted your bracelets to cover the cuts.

You leant your head against his shoulder, the two of you remaining quiet for quite some time, but you didn't need to fill the silence. That was the nice thing about Nikki, he could appreciate silence when others wouldn't. Not needing to speak just for the sake of talking.

He kissed the side of your head and squeezed your hand for comfort, knowing how everything was taking its toll on you.

But he didn't know everything. He didn't know about those dark thoughts that still haunted you. He didn't know about the cuts hidden beneath your sleeve.

"Let me see your neck." Nikki suddenly said, speaking up for the first time in a while.

He hooked his index finger under your chin tilting your head up as you lifted it off his shoulder. You hadn't had a chance to look in the mirror and see the damage yet, but by the frown forming on Nikki's face, you knew it wasn't great.

"Does it hurt?"

You shook your head and gently touched the angry purple and blue finger shaped bruises with a small wince, "I'm fine. It only hurts when I touch it."

Nikki didn't seem happy with that answer. His frown only deepening as he inspected the marks carefully.

He shouldn't care about you though. Nikki should be angry at you for what happened in the studio. He should be furious. He shouldn't be worrying or caring about you. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him.

"You should hate me." You whispered.

Nikki's eyes met yours, "what? Why?"

"I'm the reason for Mötley Crüe's downfall. It's all my fault."

"It's not."

"It is!" You answered a little louder than you meant but you couldn't help it. "I mean, fuck, you warned us at the start, Sixx. You said hooking up with me would jeopardize the band and now look what happened."

"That's not on you."

"It is."

"It's not. That's on all of us." Nikki insisted and you knew there was no point trying to argue with him on this.

You sighed, "I should go. I-I don't know why I came here. You have your own life... I'm sorry."

You stood up from the couch but before you could walk back towards the door, Nikki suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand stopping you.

"Don't go." He said, his voice nearly pleading as he looked up at you with gentle sea green eyes. "It's getting late. Just stay here tonight. You can take the spare bedroom. Please. Just don't go. Not like last time."

You hesitated for a moment as you glanced over at his front door before looking back at him and nodding in agreement. Nikki's shoulders relaxed instantly, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze before he showed you to the guest bedroom.

Given Nikki Sixx's track record with girls, you were expecting him to try make a move or convince you to share his own bed, but to your surprise he was a complete gentleman. He had matured a lot since the last time you saw him. So much had happened since then, yet for some unknown reason, Nikki still cared about you.

You ended up sleeping on the couch that night because the mattress in the spare room had a very distinct scent of urine on it. Underneath the black sheets were multiple yellow stains and although they appeared to be old, the smell was definitely there, so you retreated back to the couch.

It wasn't so bad. You had slept in worse places especially while on tour with the guys. So, a blanket on a leather couch was actually pretty good in comparison.

You laid there staring up at the antique looking ceiling fan above you in the dim light unable to fall asleep. Your mind wouldn't shut off. You kept thinking about Skylar which then turned into thinking about Vince and what your father had said.

Your entire life had been a lie.

Vince wasn't your brother, and your father wasn't even your real father. And your mother... she killed herself after giving birth to you. Did she not want you that badly? Did she really think that leaving you with that abusive piece of shit would be better than whatever she could provide? Was a bullet to the head the only choice she had?

Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as you laid there squeezing your wrist feeling the calming sting of the cuts.

You must have fallen asleep sometime though because the next thing you knew, your eyes were snapping open, and you sat up gasping for air.

A gunshot echoed in your mind. Your mothers blurry figure falling to the ground in a pool of her blood. Your fathers angry voice screamed in the background somewhere. You could still feel his hands around your neck choking you.

"Y/N, hey. Just breathe. You're okay, just breathe." Someone's voice suddenly said, but through the haze in your head you couldn't figure out who the voice belonged to let alone trying to focus on breathing.

You couldn't breathe. It was like your father was still choking you. All the air had gotten sucked out of your lungs and there wasn't anything you could do about it. You could feel your chest tightening as you buried your face into trembling hands trying to calm yourself down, but it wasn't working.

A small voice in the back of your head was telling you that you were having a panic attack, but that little piece of information did nothing to help.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Y/N, look at me."

Somehow you forced yourself to lift your head and your eyes locked with familiar sea green ones. Nikki was looking at you in worry, but you just shook your head unable to shut your brain off as the lingering nightmare flashed through your mind on repeat.

"It's okay. Deep breaths. Y/N, princess, just breathe. Copy me, okay?" Nikki instructed, kneeling down in front of you as he took in an exaggerated deep breath, and you mimicked him before he released the breath slowly and you did the same as he repeated the action.

It took a while, but eventually you managed to get your breathing under control. Your heart was beating out of your chest, your body shaking, but you were breathing. Small victories.

Nikki was kneeling beside the couch watching you worriedly and you only just realised that he was shirtless. Has he been shirtless this whole time? How the fuck did you miss that little detail? Or big detail because Nikki had definitely been working out since the last time you saw him. His chest and arms were more muscular than you had ever seen them.

You rubbed your face with trembling hands trying not to think about his attractive body before you slowly sat up on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You whispered, realising that he had just witnessed you totally freak out.

"You don't ever have to apologise to me."

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I was already awake."

It was a clear lie to make you feel better, but you appreciated it. Nikki didn't move from beside you though. His hand was hovering over your arm like he wasn't sure if he should touch you right now or not.

"Are you okay?"

Nope. Not even remotely okay, but were you going to admit that? Absolutely not.

"Yeah."

Nikki didn't say anything after that and you were pretty sure he saw straight through your lie, but he didn't call you out on it. He was good like that. He understood not wanting to talk after nightmares, God knows he was riddled with his own demons in his sleep too.

"Do you want to be alone?" He asked eventually, breaking the silence.

You shook your head because the thought of being alone with your thoughts sounded like hell.

Nikki simply nodded before he stood up and sat down on the couch beside you leaving a respectable gap between you to give you some space.

You traced your fingers over the bruise on your neck thinking back to what your father had said.

"Is it hurting?" Nikki asked worriedly watching you touch the bruise gingerly.

You shook your head, "no. I'm just thinking about something he said before he, uh, strangled me."

"What did he say?"

"That he's not my real father. Said my mother dumped me on his doorstep as a baby and then killed herself."

"Jesus." Nikki swore softly under his breath not knowing what else to say to that.

You remained quiet for a moment biting your lip fighting back tears you could feel coming. You were so God damn sick of crying.

"It means Vince and I aren't even related." You whispered.

Nikki must have heard the crack in your voice because he turned on the couch to face you properly. The only good thing about your childhood was having Vince as your big brother. But it turned out that he wasn't even your brother at all.

"There's more to family than blood, Y/N." Nikki said gently, hesitantly resting his hand on your shoulder. "I know that better than anyone."

You sighed with a small nod wiping the tears from your eyes before they could fall, and Nikki squeezed your shoulder comfortingly.

Vince had said that it didn't matter. He said that you were still his sister no matter what, but it still felt wrong knowing your entire childhood and sibling bond had been bought up on a lie.

"You and Vince, you're family. Nothing is going to change that."

You glanced over at Nikki and smiled softly needing to hear that more than anything, "thanks, Sixx."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that. Nikki flicked on the television giving you a much-needed distraction from your thoughts. He switched the channel to MTV and lowered the volume down while he leant back against the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why were you sleeping on the couch?"

"Spare bed smells like piss." You answered honestly glancing over at him.

Nikki sighed, "that would've been Slash. He's peed on that bed a few times. Sorry, I thought it was clean after the last time."

You screwed your face up in disgust which caused Nikki to smile before he turned his attention back to the television and the two of you fell into comfortable silence after that.

An hour or so ticked by. The clock on the wall across the room indicated that it was nearly six in the morning. Nikki had fallen asleep beside you a while ago. His head was tipped back against the back of the couch, his hair covering the side of his face as he snored softly.

You watched the bassist sleep for a few minutes before you quietly slipped away and made your way outside through the back door.

It was still dark outside and the view from his back porch was stunning. His house was on a hill at the far side of town and overlooked the entire city. The lights of Hollywood shone brightly in the distance, and you leant against the porch railing taking in the stunning view.

You rolled the sleeve up exposing the cuts along your inner arm that were now on full display as you glanced down at them in disgust. The skin was painted with a mixture of fresh and old cuts, some healed and scarred, others bright red and fresh.

You covered your wrist with your hand and squeezed welcoming the pain as the fresh cuts started to sting, but it wasn't enough.

The pocketknife in your jeans felt like it was burning against the fabric before you reached into the front pocket and pulled it out.

Your hands trembled as you flicked the blade out. Dry blood stained the stainless steel as you pressed the tip of the blade against an unmarked section of skin on your wrist.

Tears started to burn in the back of your eyes as you sliced through the skin like it was butter. Bright crimson blood instantly rose and trickled down onto the railing you were leaning against. You watched the droplets fall. The cut stinging as the outdoor air blew against it and you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself.

The pain grounded you.

It was fucked up, you knew this was fucked up, but you couldn't stop. It was the only way you knew how to cope with everything.

The sound of the backdoor opening startled you out of your thoughts. You hastily tucked the knife back into your pocket and pulled your sleeve down trying to hide the blood and cuts.

Nikki hovered in the doorway, but you didn't dare look over at him because you had a sinking feeling that he had seen everything.

"Y/N-"

"I just need some fresh air. Go back inside." You said, barely even recognising your own voice.

"And leave you out here to cut yourself?" He questioned bluntly.

Yeah, you thought.

But you didn't dare say that out loud though. And Nikki didn't leave.

Suddenly, he appeared beside you and his hand grasped your shoulder gently. You tilted your head up at him, but he didn't look at you, his wide eyes were glued to your arm that you were trying to hide, but clearly not very well.

You glanced back down and there was no mistaking the crimson stains soaking through the fabric of your sleeve.

Shit.

"How long?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How long have you been cutting yourself? Days? Weeks?"

"...more."

You didn't look at him as you spoke, not wanting to see the disappointment and pity on his face.

"Fucking hell." He whispered to himself.

Nikki let go, you could no longer feel his touch on your shoulder, and you fought the urge to reach out and stop him from leaving. Instead, you looked back out at the city lights watching the sun that was now slowly starting to rise along the horizon.

You listened closely for footsteps, but never heard any. Why wasn't he leaving?

A few tense seconds of silence ticked by before Nikki let out a loud exhale and leant down against the porch railing beside you.

"Princess, look at me."

You expected to hear him sound mad, to sound angry or pissed off, but he didn't. He almost sounded sad.

"Please. Fuck- please, Y/N, look at me." He practically begged.

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands from your face and glanced over at him through teary eyes and had to do a double take when you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing Nikki on the verge of crying was all it took before the flood gates opened. A violent sob escaped your lips as you cried, Nikki's expression breaking.

"I-I'm sorry. Please... please don't hate me."

Nikki's arm was instantly wrapping around your back, resting across your waist and pulling you into his side which just made you cry even more as you leant into him.

"No, no, sweetheart. I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He insisted, holding you tightly.

"I'm sorry. I-I... I'm so sorry." You whimpered, burying your face against his chest.

"it's okay. Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

He kissed the top of your head gently and just held you while you cried. You had been trying to hide your pain from Vince for so long, trying to be strong for him, but now, you allowed yourself to let your guard down and show your true feelings for the first time in what felt like years, knowing you were safe in Nikki's arms.

Eventually, Nikki lowered his arm, and you sniffed rubbing your face with trembling hands trying to calm yourself down.

He pulled out a red bandanna from his back pocket before he grabbed your arm and began to carefully pull up your sleeve. Nikki paused for a second when he got a look at your inner arm properly for the first time. A soft gasp escaped his lips, and you fought the urge to pull your arm away from him.

It was too late. He had already seen it. The damage had been done.

"Fuck, princess." He swore softly under his breath.

He pressed the bandanna against the still bleeding cut and neither of you said anything while he kept his hand pressed down on your wrist with the bandanna to slow the bleeding while you stared out at the view.

Nikki was staring down at your arm with a frown plastered on his face which was better. A frown was better than tears. You could deal with Nikki being mad at you. Anger you could handle.

"I-I didn't know... I never knew things were this bad." Nikki admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"I was the one that walked away."

"I should have called."

"I'm not your responsibility, Sixx." You whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes with your free hand. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with my shit. Not after what I did."

Nikki let out a deep exhale, "what happened that day in the studio wasn't your fault, Y/N."

"We both know that's a lie."

"What happened. Everything we did... I would do it all over again."

Your eyes widened in surprise and Nikki smiled softly.

"If I could go back in time, I'd do it all again."

"Nikki-"

"I love you, princess. I didn't get a chance to say it that day, but I do."

You shook your head, fresh tears spilling from your eyes because you didn't deserve his love. You didn't deserve any of this.

"You shouldn't." You whispered still shaking your head. "You should hate me for what happened. You should hate me for this." You pulled your arm free from his grasp, the bandanna sticking to your wrist as you held it up for him to see.

"This doesn't change how much I love you. Y/N, hey, hey. Princess, look at me."

When you didn't move, he lifted his hand pinching your chin with his thumb and index finger and raised your head gently until you were forced to look at him.

"I'm serious. This doesn't change anything. I love you, Y/N. The next time you feel like this, come to me. I want to help. Let me help you."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment as a fresh wave of tears resurfaced at Nikki's kindness causing his expression to soften before he pulled you into a hug.

"I just want you to be okay." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." You answered, and you meant it.

You and Nikki had started out cautious of each other. You were his singer's little sister, and he was the mysterious bass player who seemed to hate you.

Somewhere between that first meeting at Rock Candys gig all those years ago and to this moment now, the two of you had broken down each other's walls and had fallen in love without realising it.

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long.

I just had to work 10 days in a row with 4 of those days on call after hours too (I hated it) but I finally got a few days off and I am already editing the next chapter which will be posted in a couple of days.

I hope you are all still enjoying this story. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments ❤️

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x you #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #vince neil #mick mars #the dirt #douglas booth #mgk #colson baker

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storiesforallfandoms · 2 years

Text

i could’ve lost you ~ nikki sixx;the dirt

word count: 1891

request?: yes!

“The dirt Nikki sixx x female reader, can you please do some father daughter fluff with Nikki and his daughter”

“The dirt Nikki sixx x female reader, the reader is Nikki daughter who he had young and she goes on tours with the band, her Nikki are really close but Nikki starts pulling away from her after he starts doing heroin and after he overdoses she starts hitting him and screaming “I thought you were dead”. When she calms down her and Nikki talk and she tells him she can’t lose him besides Tommy, Vince and mick he’s the only family she’s got and Nikki promises her he’ll get sober”

description: after his near fatal overdose, nikki gets a wake up call from his own daughter

pairing: nikki sixx x daughter!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drug usage and overdosing, mentions of death

masterlist (one, two)

It wasn’t unusual for Nikki to be MIA and for his teenage daughter to be home alone. Was that safe? Definitely not, but that hadn’t been Nikki’s priority in months. Not since his love of heroin trumped his love for his own daughter.

That’s how (Y/N) found herself home alone when she received the news of her father’s death.

She was asleep when the shrill of the phone ringing brought her out of her slumber. She got up from bed and trudged to the nearest phone. She mumbled something that was barley coherent.

“(Y/N)?” It was her Uncle Vince. “Honey, I’m on the way over to get you.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Oh honey...your dad...is dead.”

(Y/N) didn’t believe him. She started laughing, sure this was some sort of joke. When Vince didn’t start laughing too, her laughs turned to sobs as the realization sunk in.

She sat in the living room as she waited for Vince to arrive. The room was full of memories of the Sixxes. Photos of Nikki and (Y/N) from the day she was born right up until her first day of high school. Awards Nikki had won with the band, their records coating the walls. She couldn’t imagine not living in this house anymore, not seeing these walls, these awards.

(Y/N) had no one else. She didn’t know who her mom was, her dad had cut out his family long before she was born. The only family she had her dad and his bandmates. She didn’t know if she’d be able to be taken in by the other three members of Motley Crue. She didn’t know where she’d go. Not that that was her highest priority at that moment.

(Y/N) cringed when she heard Vince’s car pull up outside. She wasn’t ready to go.

Vince knocked before letting himself in. “(Y/N)?”

“In here Uncle Vince,” (Y/N) called out, her voice cracking slightly.

Vince appeared suddenly. (Y/N) couldn’t look at him. It hurt too much.

“Change of plans,” Vince told her. “We’re going to the hospital.”

~~~~~~

On the way there, Vince explained what he had heard on the situation so far. The details were spotty, but what he did know was that Nikki had OD’d on heroin and technically had died because his heart had stopped on the way to the hospital. One of the paramedics had managed to restart his heart. Now he was resting in the hospital while the drugs left his system.

Vince had barley stopped the car when (Y/N) jumped out and ran into the hospital. She raced up to the receptionist desk and said, “I need the room number for Nikki Sixx.”

The receptionist gave her a look. “Nice try kid. Go home.”

“No, I’m serious. I’m Nikki’s daughter, (Y/N) Sixx. You can look me up in your system or something.”

“Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England. Go home before I call security.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, lady! My dad just fucking died and got resuscitated and was brought here. He’s all I fucking have, so just tell me where the fuck he is right now!”

She didn’t even respond to (Y/N) this time. (Y/N) saw her reaching for her phone, obviously about to call for security. (Y/N) was overcome with frustration and did what a Sixx does best: she reacted impulsively and stupidly.

She took off down the nearest hallway, the receptionist calling after her as she went. She knew she had very little time before security caught her, so she had to find her dad quick.

The hospital felt like a maze, with never ending hallways and numerous stairways. (Y/N) looked into a dozen rooms before ducking into the nearest stairwell to try the next floor. She knew they wouldn’t have a recovering rock star just out where anyone could see, but she hoped to see something that would tell her where Nikki was.

She was on the third floor when she heard someone yelling. She looked over her shoulder to see security had finally found her. Panicked, (Y/N) dipped into the nearest room to hide. Lucky for her, the room she had hid in was none other than Nikki’s room.

“(Y/N)?” Nikki said.

Before she could speak, two security guards burst into the room. One seized (Y/N) around her waist and tried to pull her out of the room.

“Hey, hey!” Nikki said. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Sorry, Mr. Sixx,” one guard said. “We tried to stop this one in the lobby, but she took off before the receptionist could call us.”

“This one is my daughter, dumb fucks.”

The guard holding (Y/N) pretty much dropped her at this. She stumbled as she tried to regain her footing.

“Maybe do some research next time, idiots,” Nikki snapped. “Get out of my room.”

Both guards muttered apologies to the two of them before leaving the room. (Y/N) turned to look at Nikki. She knew he didn’t actually look any different, but she couldn’t help but see him in a different light. It was like she was looking at her dad, but she only saw a stranger.

Nikki reached for (Y/N) and took hold of her wrist. He pulled her a bit closer to his bed and reached over to take her other wrist in his other hand. “(Y/N), baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this. Who brought you here? Was it one of the guys? If I had known they were going to, I would’ve told them to wait until I was a bit better for you to see me. Did they tell you what happened? Wait, no, they must not even know themselves. I can’t see too much being made public yet.”

Nikki realized he was rambling and looked up at his daughter’s face. She was blank, like she wasn’t registering what he was saying.

“(Y/N)? Say something, please.”

(Y/N) looked at Nikki for another moment before pulling her hands free from his and hitting his chest. The quick motion shocked Nikki and it took him a moment to realize what was happening and try to restrain (Y/N).

“I thought you were dead!” she screamed. “I thought you were fucking dead! Vince called and told me you fucking died, you fucking asshole!”

Nikki was finally able to grab hold of (Y/N)’s hands again and get a firm grip on them so she’d stop hitting him. When she was no longer able to take out her emotions physically, she started to cry. Nikki quickly pulled her towards him, cradling her head against his chest as she sobbed into his hospital gown. He managed to coax her up onto the bed and held her tightly to him.

(Y/N) wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but eventually it felt like she had ran out of tears and her eyes felt sore from crying so much. She pulled away from Nikki so she could wipe her face, only to find that most of the moisture had collected onto Nikki’s gown.

“Sorry,” she sniffled. “You’ll have to get a new one.”

Nikki let a chuckle escape from his lips. “It’s fine. It’s not the first time you’ve soaked something I was wearing. At least this time it was just a stupid hospital gown and not one of my good shirts that you ruined with your spit up.”

(Y/N) chuckled at this as well. “I was like six months old. Are you ever gonna let that go?”

“Nope.”

She smiled and leaned her head against Nikki’s shoulder. He kept one arm wrapped around her, holding her close to him.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said. “I’m sorry I did that shit, and that I haven’t been around or caring for you the way a father should.”

“I mean, it’s not like we’ve ever had a normal father-daughter relationship,” (Y/N) said. “You’re a big rock star, you’re always traveling and shit. You didn’t have to be around 24/7 for me to know you loved me and you’d always be there for me. It’s just...” She trailed off, trying to figure out the right words to say. “When Uncle Vince called me and told me you had died, it felt like my whole world came crashing down around me. I was looking at pictures of us and realized we’d never have that again. That I’d never see the house again, I’d never go on tour with you and the guys again, I’d never have those late night movie and ice cream nights like we used to have. All of it, it was gone, and I felt like I took so much of it for granted.”

She lifted her head off of his shoulder and turned to look at him. “And then I realized that if I lose you, I have nobody. Sure, I have Uncle Vince, Uncle Tommy, and Uncle Mick, but they all have their own shit going on. None of them are ready to take in a teenager who just lost her dad and would be going through a shit ton of emotional trauma. I don’t have any other options besides you, and if I lost you...well...I’d just be alone.”

Nikki felt tears welling up in his eyes. He hadn’t thought about that. In fact, he rarely ever thought about (Y/N) when he was chasing his highs. Of course he still loved her and cared about her dearly, but it always took a backseat when he needed his fix. He never thought anything like this would happen. He always expected to come home to (Y/N), even if it was a day or two later when he finally felt stable again.

He never even considered overdosing to be something that could happen to him. Even when it was happening, he didn’t realize that he was dying. He just thought he was about to slip into another long sleep and would wake up a few hours, or a day, later. He didn’t think of the consequences his actions would have on others, primarily (Y/N).

Nikki took (Y/N) into his arms again and pulled her close to him. He placed his head on top of hers and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered again.

“I know you are. You don’t have to apologize anymore. You’re here, you’re alive. That’s all that matters.”

Nikki shook his head. “No, that’s not what matters. What matters is that I’m here for you. No one as young as you deserves to be worried about losing their father and what would happen to you if you did. Baby, I promise you, the minute I’m out of this hospital I’m going to rehab. I’m going to get better, I’m going to be the father you deserve.”

(Y/N) felt a lump grow in her throat again, but this time it wasn’t one of sadness. She was overcome with so many emotions, but right now the main one was relief.

“Okay dad,” she said. “I’ll be there for you every step of the way, too. I’ll be your cheerleader.”

“You always have been.”

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x daughter!reader #Douglas Booth #douglas booth imagine #douglas booth x reader #daughter #the dirt #netflix #Motley Crue #motley crue imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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oskea93 · 4 months

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Keep it to Yourself (2)

✶ DouglasBooth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warnings: Mention of drug use, cursing. A/N: Thank you so much for the love guys!! I hope you enjoy the 2nd chapter, it's kind of a long one. If you would like to be tagged, just let me know! Gif(@ughmerlin)

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27, @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog, @makaelahdelvalle

“Is this some kind of sick joke, Bryant?”

I leaned my head against the payphone door – watching as Nikki filled up his car. “Afraid not.”

Wyatt stayed silent for a moment, my surprising news turning more into a nightmare as the minutes passed. He let out a sigh, “You’re 20 years old – got your whole life ahead of you but you decide to fuck it all up by eloping that idiot.” His usually soothing voice dripped with anger.

It was a total whim – Nikki and I were just sitting around, and he brought up the idea of getting married. We’d been together for a year almost and the thought of marriage never crossed my mind. I didn’t even think Nikki found our relationship to be serious half the time. He had dreams of becoming a rockstar – a wife – the old ball and chain – would only hinder that dream. There was no ring – no getting down on one knee. It was basically you have this one chance to say yes and get it done or it’ll never happen again. We scrounged up enough money to get a marriage license and were married the next day at the courthouse. A random guy from the street was our witness – Nikki buying him a bottle of booze as payment. It wasn’t the fairytale wedding most girls dream of, but it worked for us.

“I thought maybe you would have a change of heart and be happy for us.”

An annoyed laugh rang through the receiver, “Be happy for you – Bryant, you need to be married to this kid like you need a hole in the head. I’ve told you from day one that he wasn’t the one – have you're fun and then leave. You need to be with a man that has structure – someone with a steady income – I don’t give a shit if the guy works on Wall Street or at the gas station on the corner, Nikki is not the man you need in your life.”

“That’s rich coming from you, Uncle Wyatt.” I muttered.

This seemed to piss him off even more – “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

I played with the phone cord, unsure of what to say. “It’s just –“

“Just what, Katherine?” His tone aggressive as he used my legal name. “Now that you’re married, you think that you can talk to people however you want? Just remember this little girl-“ He paused. “I’ve known guys like Nikki all my life – Hell, I’ve been one of those guys and I know how they pick one girl, stay for a bit, and then move on to the next thing. Don’t come crying to me when he kicks your ass to the curb when the next little hottie crosses his path...”

I could pick the man out of a sea of people.

His hair was a little longer than I last remember – his clothing changing with the times and trends. The fancy sports-car that the guys purchased for him glistened in the California sun – the sun hitting the red paint just right.

“There she is.” His arms spreading open expecting me to jump right into them for one of his ‘famous hugs.’

“Hey, Doc.” I forced a smile as he pulled me in.

His touch felt more like relief than welcoming – kind of like a forced thank you for coming and saving my ass. “I’ve missed you, kid.”

I pulled away first as he took in my appearance. It’d been almost three years since we’ve seen each other – a lot of things changing in that time. “You look great.” He smiled. “More mature – nothing like that little girl I met backstage.”

“Yeah, well –“I shuffled nervously. “Someone had to grow up and become the adult.”

His eyes locked with mine, squinting as my words coursed through his brain. “May look different but that attitude is still the same.” He pulled my suitcase out of my hand, placing it in the trunk as I placed myself in the passenger seat. I took a couple deep breaths – the reality of what was about to happen finally hitting me. I was cool as a fucking cucumber the whole flight – only worrying that Wyatt would pop up at any second and drag me off the plane by my boots. I didn’t think about what I would do or say when I finally saw Nikki again. I already knew that he wasn’t going to be happy – raging would be more like it.

The thought of if this was a good idea was now creeping into my psyche. Hannah’s warning to watch my moves and have an escape plan just in case he’s bad enough where he tries to harm me played on repeat as Doc drove through the canyon. From the way he was going, Nikki still lived in the same house.

“So-“Doc smiled. “What’s been happening with you lately? Last I heard you were living in South Carolina.”

I glanced at him through my shielded lenses, rolling my eyes. “Just living life.” I was short.

“You got a job?” He continued to press.

“No –“I turned to look at him. “I just live off my good looks and hope old men want a young plaything to leave all their money too.”

His face instantly fell as he glanced at me – my face expressionless as he fumbled to form a sentence.

He chose to end the conversation after that leaving the rest of the journey completely silent. I was somewhat grateful but talking made me forget about my internal thoughts – the ones eating away at my emotions...

“Where are we even going?”

I watched as million-dollar homes passed by as we travelled further into the hills. Nikki remained silent – his eyes hidden behind his dark shades – a stoic expression on his stubbled face. We had been driving for almost 30 minutes – silence taking up most of that time. I could tell from his body language that he was nervous. His body was stiff as he kept both hands on the steering wheel. He was home from the first leg of the Shout at the Devil tour – the guy I had known before tour started was left somewhere on an abandoned highway. Nikki was different – a little distant – more focused on the drugs and booze than before.

Instead of saving the money that was coming in from the shows, he and the rest of the band went on a spending spree – laying thousands down on new cars, expensive clothes, and the finest designer powder they could get their mitts on. It was a nice feeling not to be struggling anymore but Nikki was going through the money like water in the desert. His habit went from a couple bumps here or there to being desperate for the next fix. Shady looking characters were in our apartment every night as he got ready to go out with the guys. They followed him around like a puppy would their owner – Nikki was their client – he had the money, and they had the blow.

I kept glancing at him as he concentrated on the road, “Is there a party up here or something?”

He cleared his throat, slinking further into the leather seat of the Camaro. “No.” His answer simple.

“Then why the hell are we u-“

He stopped the car in front of a large home – the exterior darker than those around. “Welcome home.” His voice flat. I looked between him and the house – confusion written all over my face.

“What?”

“You wanted a house, didn’t you?”

I stayed quiet for a second – trying to process the situation. “Are you trying to tell me you bought a house – this house – and you didn’t bother to ask me how I would feel about that?” I pointed towards the home; my eyes fixed on Nikki.

He ignored the question, driving past the gate that secured the house from the open road. The driveway was long and steep – the house sitting perfectly on the hilltop. It was an open landscape – not many trees and the perfect view of those that lived in the valley.

“Nikki – you can’t be serious right now?” He placed the car in park – turning the engine off before removing himself from the car. I didn’t wait for him to let me out, hastily slamming the door shut as he rounded the passenger side. “Please tell me you didn’t buy this house?”

“You know-“He smiled as he removed his sunglasses – the telltale signs of last night written all over his face. “You bitch about living in a small apartment but yet here you are bitching me out for buying you a beautiful house.”

I raised my hands in the air, “I didn’t ask you to buy me a fucking house, Nikki!”

He rolled his jaw in anger as I vented about how we were supposed to be saving money and not throwing it away on things that we didn’t need or things we could wait for. I was perfectly content in staying in the apartment – hell, it was better than the one he was in when I first met him. I made sure to keep it clean and we shared the rent 50/50. Just because Motley had become a success didn’t mean that I wanted him spending that hard earned money on a house. We had plenty of time to look at houses – a house we would both love – not the first one that had a for sale sign.

“Fine –“His voice low. “You don’t want to the fucking house – “He hastily reached into his shirt pocket fishing out the key before throwing it as hard as he could down the embankment. “Then no one will fucking get the house!”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” My anger exploded as I raced to find the key. He stood behind, leaning against the black hood. I knew it was gonna be like finding a fucking needle in a haystack – the only chance of getting into the house would be to break in...

Doc’s car pulled up the familiar driveway – Nikki’s overzealous purchases sitting in front of the house. “I’ve always hated this house.” I muttered.

“Yeah-“Doc smirked. “Nikki’s made mention of it a time or two.” He placed the car in park – a knowing sigh slipping past his lips. “Ready for this, kid?”

I tucked my lip between my teeth – a nervous habit I had since childhood. “Ready for it like a hole in the head I guess.”

He chuckled at my answer, walking up the stairs ahead of me. The day I left kept flashing in my mind – the way my shoes hit the stone steps – Nikki trying to follow behind but stumbling from the drugs. Doc unlocked the door using his personal key that he had made, telling me that he had keys to all the guy’s houses. Stepping across the threshold showed me just how much he had changed. The once bright living room was now painted in a dark red – black, leather furniture scattered around the room. The house was an absolute mess! Liquor bottles, beer cans, food containers, and clothes littered the living room and kitchen.

“You can’t afford to get him a housekeeper?” My nose turned up at the smell. “This place is a fucking pigsty, Doc.”

He waved me off as he started towards the staircase. From what I could see, all the doors to the rooms were closed – the bedroom we shared being off to the left side. “Let me go see if he’s up and decent.” I nodded my head, looking around in disgust at the mess.

Gold and platinum records lined the walls – older photographs joining here and there. The photos that hung while we were together were nowhere to be found – probably burned and turned to ash. Heavy footsteps sounded as the person descended the stairs – my heart starting to race at the thought of seeing Nikki again.

Doc appeared seconds later, “He’s not here.” He spoke out of breath. “Fucking needles and baggies are lying all over the closet floor – probably got high and left for God knows where.”

I threw my purse on the couch, taking a haphazard seat as Doc began to pace the room.

“When’s the last time you seen him?” His eyes connecting with mine.

He thought about it for a second, “Probably three – four days ago I guess.”

I looked up at the ceiling, my tolerance for him starting to waver. “You have a guy that’s actively addicted, knocking on death’s fucking door, and the last time you laid eyes on him was four days ago? Are you fucking kidding me, Doc?”

“I talked to him on the phone the day before yesterday and he sounded fine. I can’t be on babysitting duty twenty-four fucking seven, Bryant. I have other bands that need me –“

“No-“ I cut him off. “You have other cash cows that are out there killing themselves so you can make a name for yourself and have money in your pocket.”

He ran a hand through his thinning hair, “I didn’t bring you out here so you can rip me a new one, Katherine.”

My anger finally coming through, “Don’t fucking call me that.” My finger pointed in his face. “You don’t have the right or luxury to ever call me by my real name.”

“And who has that luxury, Bryant?” He pressed. “Your fucking ex-husband who’s out there killing himself because you fucking left him? You know you may think it’s my fault that Nikki is the way he is, but you’re just as much to blame. He didn’t get bad until you sent the fucking divorce papers – this is on you, sweetheart.”

“Fuck you.” I pushed past him, making my way to the front door.

I started walking down the driveway, not even caring that the sun was starting to set, and I didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to pick me up. I made it about halfway down before Doc’s car came up beside me. “Get in the car, Bryant.” His voice monotone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that in my 25 years of being on this planet. That was my go-to move anytime Nikki pissed me off and we happened to be in the car. Hell, there was sometimes I would just get out of the car at a red light and start walking down the busy street.

“I’m sorry –“ I turned to look at him. “I don’t accept rides from assholes.” My boots slapping against the concrete.

Doc let out a string of curse words, finally stopping the car as he got out and tried to catch up. His fingers grabbed tightly onto my wrist, spinning me around into his body. “Fucking stop, Bryant.” His breathing ragged. “I already have enough to deal with and you acting like a fucking brat doesn’t need to be added to the plate.” I pushed the hair out of my face, yanking my arm out of his hold.

I waited a second as he walked back to his sports car before inching my way back to the passenger side. I may have slammed the door a little too hard, earning a look from Doc as he drove to the main road.

“Vince is throwing a party-“He spoke. “My guess is Nikki’s probably there since all the dealers are there.”

“He’s like a month flying to a bug zapper.” I mumbled.

The drive to Vince’s beachside mansion didn’t take long – traffic being light for that area. Different cars surrounded the home as music blared out of the open windows. I watched as people moved out of the way as Doc drove up to the front – those outside looking to see who was arriving. I didn’t bother waiting for Doc this time – getting out and stomping up the staircase.

I had no idea where he could be – the house was ginormous. The music grew louder as I neared the living room – a circular couch sitting in the middle of the room. A tall skinny guy was the first person I noticed – still having the same stupid haircut he had when we first met. Tom was a fish out of water in the world he lived – the opposite of Motley Crue. It still amazed me to this day that he was the reason Motley got signed.

My eyes moved across the couch, a head full of jet-black hair bent over a silver serving tray caught my attention. I watched as the lines that were perfectly placed vanished as the rolled up bill moved in a vertical motion. His head popped up for a moment, rubbing his nose as the high was hitting.

“I see you found him.” Doc stood next to me. “This is mild compared to what he’s usually doing.” I kept my eyes trained on Nikki as he talked to Mick and Tom – laughing at whatever they were saying. “Bring back memories?”

I glanced at Doc, rolling my eyes before walking towards the white couch. Nikki was in his own world that he didn’t even notice that someone was getting closer. Tom was the first to notice, his jaw dropping to the floor as his eyes grew wide.

“Holy shit.”

Nikki and Mick looked up to see what caused Tom’s reaction, Nikki’s eyes connecting with mine. It took him a moment before his smile started to fall – sobering up within seconds.

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michelle-is-writing · 1 year

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Left behind ch.1, Nikki Sixx

Word Count: 1.1k~

TW!: mention of drug and alcohol use, angst

People know drugs are bad for you; that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is the fact that drugs hurt not only the person who’s taking them but the people close to them as well. Combine them with an addiction to alcohol, and you’re in for an absolute shit show.

When I met Nikki at one of his first-ever shows, I knew he was something special. Not just because he was an upcoming rockstar but because I could tell there was something about him that made me feel like I was flying. When his eyes met mine later on at the bar, I could tell I was in for trouble, but at the time, it was the good kind of trouble. The trouble that sends you in over your head with your heart beating like a racehorse in your chest as you soar through the sky.

However, I should’ve remembered that everything that goes up must come down because, after a while, I came crashing to the ground. A relationship that I truly thought would turn into a marriage became a train wreck, and I found myself holding onto the remains of what once was. The words “Two against the world” were often used by Nikki when he felt especially romantic, but now, they held no meaning.

Anytime they had a tour, I always went with them, and at first, it was fun. When parties were going on and Motley Crue attended, we never stopped laughing. Nikki and I would always stay close with his arm wrapped around my waist and my body pushed against his side. Oftentimes, we’d happen to look at each other, and a bright smile would fill our faces as if we were so happy just to see each other. Then, it was like one day, that changed. Nikki didn’t want me going to parties with him, and he stopped holding me any chance he got. It was as if he didn’t want anything to do with me.

Weeks passed, and I watched Nikki grow worse and worse every day. I knew he was doing drugs, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He knew how I felt about it too, so before I could say anything else, he either walked away or changed the subject entirely. I felt like I was losing him, and I tried to do something about it. It didn’t work, however. Instead, it showed me that I was wrong; I wasn’t losing him - I had already lost him.

“Why do you always do this? As soon as I get off stage, you wanna start shit!” Nikki yelled as I stood a few feet away from him backstage, my arms crossed against my chest. “What is it with you lately?! You’re always in a mood lately.”

“I’m in a mood?” I asked him, rolling my eyes as Nikki threw himself down onto the backstage room’s couch. “What about you? All you ever do is drink and get high!” Walking around the couch to face him, I looked at him with nothing but anger. “You weren’t always like this, Nikki! You used to be sweet and happy; you were never this cruel,” sitting down on the coffee table in front of him, I watched as he stared at me with an unchanging face. “What happened?”

As soon as my question left my lips, Nikki sat up straight. “You,” he answered me, his tone dark and unwavering. “You’re what happened.”

All I could do was stare at him in absolute confusion. That wasn’t my Nikki; he would never say that to me. He was always positive and loving; the only times he had ever gotten mean were the times he was teasing me, and we would playfully go back and forth. This, however, was something different.

“What the hell are you talking about, Nikki?” I asked him, my anger forming a pit in my stomach. "Why would you even say something like that? You-"

“Because it’s the truth!” Nikki swiftly cut me off, jumping up from his seat with a sudden vigor. “No matter what I do, you’re always putting me down! I’m tired of this shit!” With every word, Nikki accentuates himself by holding his arms out. “I don’t want to see you anymore! F-Fuck all these years, it’s over!”

Those words rang in my head over and over again as I slowly began to pick myself up and gather my stuff. Nikki only stared as I did so, not saying anything more. “It’s over!” I could hear Nikki say as I neared the door, but it was only in my mind as Nikki remained silent. The only noise in the room came from me opening the door, turning to give Nikki one more once-over before I left, not knowing where I’d go. “Nikki,” I started, his eyes lingering on mine as they welled with tears. “I hope… I hope you’re happy.”

With that, I walked out with all of my belongings from the past five years, almost too much for me to carry. Heading to the ticket station for a bus back to LA, I try my hardest to blink away my tears, but I fail as the people passing me on the sidewalk give me strange glares. I can’t help but be upset. I’m leaving behind all that I’ve known for the last several years, and I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. Besides, I didn’t even get to tell Nikki I had some news for him, but then again, if I drag him down as much as he says I do, then a child certainly isn’t going to help that.

Just the thought of raising the current life inside my womb makes me want to stop and sob, but the thought of doing it all on my own makes it even worse. However, I have to do what’s best for my child, and having a heroin-addicted father isn’t what’s best. When Nikki gets clean (if he does), that’s when he can come back into our lives. I wish I could be there for him to help him get clean, but at this point, I think he’s beyond my help. In a moment where I need him, he needs something stronger than me.

Read Chapter 2 here!

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livingmybestfictionallife · 3 years

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Live Wire --The Dirt-- 16

This is part 1 of the US Festival and mostly told in Nikki’s perspective. Next part will be a direct continuation of this chapter.

Doc and Doug has brought Wren along to each meeting they attended that planned Motley Crue’s involvement with the US Festival in the winter of 1982 and the spring of 1983, and they couldn’t deny the woman had a surprising knack for entertainment management. They’d known she would be an asset to them when it came to being a voice of reason to the twenty-something-year-old band of buffoons Motley Crue tended to be, but they didn’t suspect her to be an asset on the more professional and managerial aspect of her role. After how she’d handled herself upon meeting them at the Rainbow, they shouldn’t have underestimated her, but it was the 1980s and she was a twenty-year-old girl who happened to stumble across one of the next biggest bands to hit LA. They treated her as their acquaintance’s great-niece whom they presumed was a groupie for this band, but damn did they get a wakeup call afterwards.

First of all, Nikki and Tommy refused to accept any assistance from Doc or Doug without the stipulation that they became additions to Wren and not replacements, and Mick and Vince were quick to back up their bass player and drummer. Second, it seemed that when it came to booking local gigs, Wren had always beaten the pair to the punch; in fact, a lot of the calls Doc and Doug made to venues asking to get the band booked were responded with “Yeah, Ledden called up and scheduled a couple weekend shows about two weeks ago. You guys looking to book more than that?” At first it was frustrating to be one-upped by a newbie to the scene, but then they realized that Motley Crue were the newbies to the Strip and were taking it by storm. Why would the person who they had as their initial—and for the longest time only—manager be any different than they were?

However, booking the US Festival had more to do with Doc’s history with the Scorpions than Wren’s determination. Apparently, Doc and Mikkey Dee had remained in touch after changing management, and Mikkey had shared the fact that the producers of the event were searching for another act for Heavy Metal Day. However, just because she hadn’t booked the gig before Doc or Doug didn’t mean they weren’t going to include her in the planning process. Time and time again she impressed them to the point they forgot she was hardly any older than the youngest members of the band.

Nikki bit the inside of his lip as he watched the morning sun kiss Wren’s skin from where he stood at a distance. A soft breeze dusted the earth as the band wandered the festival grounds, preparing for what would be one of their biggest breaks in the United States. He’d lingered behind and paced slowly alongside Mick as Wren and Tommy hurried ahead with Vince to explore their surroundings. Nikki had known Wren for two years now, and had seen her in a number of different lights: strong, defiant, independent, vulnerable, scared, and sorrowful, but one of his favorites was her genuine excitement towards things. Even though he stood a few feet behind her, he knew her face would be beaming under the sunglasses she’d stolen from him that morning on the way to the event. Her cheeks would be full with delight as her intoxicating smile fell over her lips. Her movements were energetic as she and Tommy noticed her the stage the band would share that day with the greats that had paved the way for them. With jubilance in her steps, Wren nearly dragged Tommy by the arm as she ran towards the stage. With a leap, Wren heaved herself up onto the stage with her best friend on her heels. Together, they stood arm in arm, and gazed out at the vast grounds before them that would soon be filled with eager fans throwing themselves around to the newest songs she and Nikki had written.

Nikki couldn’t help himself as he stared up at the woman he’d slowly begun to—no, it’s too early for that, Sixx. He knew a smile was rising to his face as he looked up at Tommy and Wren. Without a second thought, he grabbed the polaroid camera Wren had asked him to hold for her, pointed the lens at his two closest friends as Tommy put his arm around Wren’s shoulders and pointed out across the grounds. There was something about capturing them in such a pure moment in their friendship that made the smile on Nikki’s face grow only to fall. Seeing them together, forever frozen in that moment as the image began to appear on the photograph before him, Nikki couldn’t help but disdain how Tommy was blessed with the luxury of being able to act however he wants around Wren with no consequences from Doc or Doug. Nikki already wasn’t the biggest fan of having the pair of new managers, and he was convinced that if they knew he was dating Wren, they would treat her less like one of their equals and more like a groupie.

Fuck, he cursed himself as he thought back to how Wren was initially treated when the band was still in its infancy. No one took her seriously, she had to fight her way to the top of waiting lists just to talk to someone to get them booked in a shitty dive bar because they assumed she was just some groupie trying to find out where Motley Crue was playing and not their fucking manager trying to book a show. He didn’t want her to back peddle on the name she’d made for herself as Motley Crue’s manager, but having two other people assigned the same title seemed, at least to Nikki, like a slap in the face to Wren’s success over the past two years.

I’m going to be the reason she doesn’t succeed. The harrowing thought crossed Nikki’s mind without warning as he stared at the photo before him of Wren and Tommy, excitedly gaping about what was both literally and figuratively on the horizon. The single moment he’d captured in time of two friends who meant the world to one another brought up the ugly feelings of jealousy he used to harbor upon realizing he would never have as much history with Wren as Tommy, Mick, or even Vince did. Nikki tried to push those feelings down as he noticed Wren jump down from the stage, rush up to him, pull the camera from his neck and give it to Tommy.

“Let’s get a picture Nikki,” she said once she returned to his side. As he shoved the intrusive thought from his mind, it seemed to manifest in his heart. He slipped and arm around her waist, but the pair didn’t move any closer than where they currently stood, and Nikki knew that if any stranger compared the two photos, they would assume Tommy was the one dating Wren…not him.

As Tommy clicked the button and handed the camera back to Wren, the picture began to print. Before Wren could examine the photo, Nikki had snatched it from where it was printing and had begun to shake it above his head. “You’re going to ruin it,” she huffed as she lowered the camera’s lanyard around her neck and folded her arms over her chest as her eyes narrowed on her boyfriend.

“Shaking it helps the ink dry faster,” Nikki stated so matter-of-factly that had Wren not read the instruction manual of her camera, she would have believed him. She rolled her eyes and huffed at his observation before speaking again.

“Shaking it damages the image, you arrogant know-it-all,” she muttered with a smirk on her lips. Nikki wanted to make her come after him to retrieve the photo, but he knew there were eyes on them: more specifically, the eyes of the two people they hired to be equals with Wren, but whom he believed were trying to become her bosses. Slowly, he extended the photo back to her and felt his heart sink once more that morning as she plucked the picture from his fingers.

“Whatever you say, babe,” Nikki sighed under his breath as Doug approached where the trio stood.

“Getting a lay of the land I see,” he commented to the group without really looking any of them in the eye. This—standing alone in and desolate field merely hours before it would become teeming with life and excitement—was nothing new to Doug. He’d been in bigger places with bigger bands, and he would be lying if he tried to say he could still remember how exhilarating the newness of everything was. To Doc and Doug, the scene was like any relationship—after the honeymoon phase is over, it’s all the same shit. Hell, they’d been in the game so long they hardly even associated with anyone afflicted by the honeymoon phase of stardom anymore. “You guys are on at 5 tonight. Don’t do anything too stupid beforehand and don’t fucking break yourselves! If a bone splits and you can’t play all of us are fucking S.O.L.” Wren furrowed her eyebrows at Doug’s way of warning the guys not to be a couple of dumbasses, but didn’t bother to interrupt. “You’re going on after Quiet Riot and are going to be followed up by Ozzy Osbourne.”

“No fucking way! We’re opening for Ozzy?” Tommy asked as he folded his arms across Wren’s shoulders and leveraged his weight against hers.

“Yeah, and after him is Judas Priest, followed by Triumph, the Scorpions, and then Van Halen,” Doug explained before he lost Tommy’s attention. “The gates open at 3 so sound check is going to be around 11 for you guys.”

“Don’t start getting into costume until around 3:45 or 4. It’s supposed to be hot and all that leather is going to be a pain in the ass for you guys to sit in for longer than necessary,” Wren interjected as Doug continued his spiel.

“Doc is talking with Mick and Vince right now. We’re going to need all four of you in trailer two by 10:30 and then again at 3:30. Do you mind wrangling them up for that, Wren?” Doug asked and turned to the woman who was currently being used by the lanky drummer as something to rest his head on.

“No problem. I can get them started on hair and makeup then,” Wren responded as she watched the corners of Nikki’s mouth tighten as he pulled back his lips and attempted to hold his tongue.

“Thanks. Doc and I will be a little tied up by then. Do they have a set list made up yet?” Doug continued as he paid no attention to the tension building in Nikki’s body.

“Yeah, Nikki wrote one up,” she said as she dug into her back pocket to find the piece of notebook paper he’d slipped into her denim shorts that morning. She blushed at the memory of a rather groggy Nikki, still half asleep, leaving his room just to come into the kitchen where Wren was making herself some Eggo waffles for breakfast. He stood behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, and held onto her as if she were the only thing keeping him on his feet. After muttering a few obscenities about how early they all had to get up to drive to San Bernardino, his hands fell on her waist once more as he dragged himself away from being plastered to her back, and slid a piece of paper into her back pocket before giving her ass a nice squeeze.

“Great, I’ll can get this to the sound engineers. Stay with them and make sure they don’t fuck this up,” Doug said with a sly smirk on his face as he turned away from the three founding members of the Crue.

“She’s not a glorified babysitter!” Nikki spat back before Doug was out of earshot.

“Dude!” Tommy hissed under his breath as he back handed Nikki in the chest. “Do you really want to lose the people who got us this far?”

“They didn’t get us this far, Tommy. They got us this gig. Wren got us everything else, we put ourselves on the map, and now they’re swooping in like vultures, trying to take credit for Motley’s success.” Wren could feel the anger pouring from Nikki’s words, and as much as she wanted to help calm him down, she couldn’t believe the reason he was harboring so much resentment towards Doc and Doug.

“Calm down, Nikki. It’s okay,” she tried to say only for Tommy to speak over her.

“Just chill out, dude. They’re not the bad guys here.”

“What? I can’t correct him in his assumption of what her fucking job is?” Nikki scoffed as he took in Tommy’s wary expression and Wren’s confusion.

“Look, if it bothers me enough, I’ll correct them, okay?” Nikki knew she only meant that she could handle herself, but his mind was on edge. He’d felt an immense amount of bitterness, shame, and guilt for a number of different reasons, all of which he did not want to talk about with Wren because…well because he knew he was being erratic and that her decision on the matter was the best decision to make.

“Of course, you can. I almost forgot I’d learned that lesson the hard way.” Nikki couldn’t keep himself from adding that unnecessary comment, but he certainly hoped he’d said it soft enough for neither Tommy or Wren to hear.

“On that note, I’m going to go check on Mick and Vince,” Wren announced as the smile that had occupied her face fell into a scowl at Nikki’s words. Tommy waited until Wren was well out of their range before he punched Nikki in the arm.

“Ow! What the fuck, man?”

“I should ask you the same thing!” Tommy hissed as he pointed in the direction Wren had walked. “What the hell was that?”

“What the hell was what?” Nikki asked as he rubbed off the punch he had received and glared into Tommy’s dark, furiously swirling eyes.

“Are you two fighting?” Nikki could hear the obvious change in Tommy’s voice as the abrasive and accusing tone shifted into that of concern. Taking Nikki’s silence as a confirmation, Tommy continued. “She’s been so happy, recently. When did you start fighting?”

“We’re not fighting,” Nikki said through somewhat gritted teeth.

“Well, that sounds like something a person in a happy relationship would say. You’ve got me convinced,” Tommy sneered as he folded his arms over his chest and glared at Nikki. With his impatience growing, Nikki found a portion of the walls he’s built up around himself begin to crumble—not enough to let someone in, but just enough for a six-foot-four-inch-tall drummer to look over and see what was happening on the inside.

“I didn’t want her to be a groupie.” Nikki sighed in defeat as he balled his right hand into a fist.

“She’s not a groupie,” Tommy quickly denied.

“I know that, and you know that, but Doc and Doug won’t believe it and neither would anyone else we come across who should look at her as the professional she is with this band. They’re just going to see Wren and think, ‘Oh, it’s the girl that fucks around with Motley Crue,’ but she’s so much fucking more than that.”

“She doesn’t fuck around with Motley Crue. She fucks around with you, making her a you-ie, not a groupie.” Tommy tried to chuckle a little to lighten Nikki’s mood, but he didn’t seem to know the best ways to reassure Nikki, at least not in the ways that Wren did.

“I just don’t want to be the reason she isn’t taken seriously. I don’t want to feel like I’m holding her back.” As Nikki vocalized his concerns, Tommy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry dude, but Wren’s a tornado. Once she’s on a path, there’s not much that can stop her. I mean, I’ve never tried to lasso a tornado, but I would assume it would be easier than holding Wren back from doing what she’s set her mind to. Besides that, Wren is always going to make sure she’s taken seriously, regardless of her connections to anyone. Fuck, I’m her best friend! The most non-serious human being to attend a high school was best friends with the girl who was valedictorian and had her associate’s degree before she got her high school diploma! No one who knows Wren doubts her, and no one who doubts her matters.”

“Then why the fuck do I feel so shitty about what would happen to her if Doc and Doug knew she was with me?”

“Maybe the reason you feel like shit and are concerned about damaging any reputation she has with the new managers is because you love her.” The second that word—the ‘L’ word Nikki hadn’t used to describe anyone other than his grandparents—left Tommy’s mouth, Nikki’s stomach sank and he contemplated throwing up on Tommy’s shoes for suggesting such a thing. Love? No. Love was something people spend their lives looking for and end up settling for something similar—some other type of connection that feels like what they assume love is. Love isn’t something that walks into a men’s room from an alley, mouths off to you, and steals your liquor. Love isn't something that happens to you after getting punched in the face. It doesn't walk up to your booth in a diner dressed in leather. Love doesn't have an intoxicating smile. It isn't when someone gets you riled up for the sake of being able to. It’s not the reason people steal music for someone else, or the catalyst behind one’s anger after someone else is harmed. It’s not the sharing of pain from one soul to another, or the safety of home a person finds in another person. Love doesn't just wander into your life at twenty-three-years-old, burrow inside your chest, and then decides to wake up from its nap two years later. Is it?

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