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#doorbell licker
missuswalker · 9 months
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HII, i LOVED your love language hcs for the main 4, i was wondering if I could request Craig’s gang for those hcs as well if it’s not any trouble 😓💗
YOU'RE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU 🤭 and of course!!
love languages with craig's gang!
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✮ summary: going through the boys' love languages, giving and receiving ✮ warnings: none
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craig tucker
giving
definitely physical touch. he wants to hold your hand everywhere! it makes up for the fact that he 'bullies you' (flips you off). i also see him as a guy who likes to make out all the time. maybe not in public, but definitely in his room. in private, he can get a little sweeter, unless you call stripe a hamster. if you do that, you have to go home. sorry. i don't make the rules. (i do) i can also imagine him being really good at writing letters. he's better at expressing how much he loves you that way, but please don't read it in front of him, it embarrasses him too much.
receiving
craig likes when you do little things for him, like making him a homemade birthday card, or making his bed. he almost passes out when you refill his water bottle for him at school when you notice that it was empty. i'm sorry to the football craig lovers, but he's definitely a marching band kid, and he needs that water for his 'intense training' (watching everyone do their own shit as he messes around with the percussion instruments).
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tweek tweak
giving
he loves physical affection. there's no pressure to do anything right or wrong. a hug is a hug and holding hands is holding hands. he does get a little stressed about kissing, though. please reassure him that he's doing it right. he really likes leaving little gifts on your front porch. he doesn't want you to know its from him in case you don't like it, and you don't have the heart to tell him you can see him on your ring doorbell.
receiving
words. of. aff.irm.ation. when he's 'totally freaking out' just let him know how proud of him you are. i beg you. or tell him how pretty he is to distract him. also, take the time to re-button his shirt and he might just fall in love with you. making him coffee has the same effect. actually, he just loves everything you do.
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clyde donovan
giving
gifts. gifts, gifts, gifts. got that habit from bebe. wether it's shoes he saved up for or a really cute plushie, he looovveess giving you things, mostly because he likes to see how happy you look. when he goes broke (which is at least once a month) he's very physically affectionate. especially when he's upset.
recieving
words of affirmation and comfort. he's still a big crybaby. he likes when you talk to him in a soothing voice and just tell him how much you love him, even if cartman says he's a toilet-licker. play with his hair and write him a sweet note every once in a while, and he's happy.
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tolkien black
giving
listen, guys. i know that you're probably expecting him to shower you with gifts, and he will, but he's probably sick of that shit. he'd rather do something more romantic, like spending some good quality time with you. (at a fancy, expensive restaurant) he likes that you don't expect him to get you anything, though, it makes him feel normal. he also really likes spending time in your room, it feels so cozy to him. as long as you guys are together, he's good. he's a simple man. offer to pay for dinner and he's taking you to a wedding venue.
recieving
physical touch. everywhere. nothing too intense, though. he likes when you guys are walking through the halls and you hold on to the little handle part of his bookbag. he thinks it's cute, and it makes him feel close to you. hug him before you leave class or he'll have a bad day.
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jimmy valmer
giving
words of affirmation, especially if he can put it into a pun. "you look DASHing. get it? because you're door dashing chipotle?" "oh... cute." he loves making you laugh, because he loves your smile, because it makes him smile. don't know what this would fall under, but i imagine he likes taking care of you. like, you know, if you're sick, or if you get hurt. I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST FEEL LIKE HE'D WANT TO BECAUSE HE'S SO SOFT FOR YOU LIKE... he doesn't want you to take care of him because it makes him feel less macho
receiving
physical affection. pda. all of it. he wants to look cool in front of his friends. if you come up to hug him from behind he'll be all like. "hey, babe 🧐 didn't see you there 🥱" but stutter over it and be all blushy. kiss him on the cheek and he might fall over. he also likes when you compliment him, so do that.
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a/n: i'm getting the headcanon requests done because i feel like i can't work on something longer until i do these 😻 BUT KEEP SENDING REQUESTS, I LOVE YOUR IDEAS AND I WILL NO DOUBT GET TO THEM AS SOON AS I CAN
also, i didn't proof read this 😍
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loveboatinsanity · 5 years
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gaaaaaaaayypr · 5 years
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So men can't lick a woman for two minutes but this guy licked a doorbell for over three hours?
Men are cancelled.
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mauitime · 4 years
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News of the Weird: A serial doorbell licker, inexplicable bologna, PokeWeddings, and more
News of the Weird: A serial doorbell licker, inexplicable bologna, PokeWeddings, and more
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PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US
Asparagus is healthy and delicious. But for 63-year-old Jemima Packington of Bath, England, the columnar vegetable is much more: Packington is an asparamancer, a person who can foretell the future by tossing the spears into the air and seeing how they land. “When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns, and it is the patterns I interpret,” Packington said. “I am…
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alreadyblondenow · 4 years
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Jaehyun’s Body | Jung Jaehyun (TEASER)
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▸ Jaehyun x reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Demon Jaehyun ▸ HALLOWEEN SERIES: 127 HOUSE ▸ 5/5 for NEOHALLOWEEN writing festival hosted by @nct-writers​
Summary: Jaehyun is a demon who uses girls to make him stay handsome. He eats girls… literally. Then he met you and he can’t eat you because he’s in love with you.
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, a lot of killings, Blood, lots and lots of blood, killings again, then another killings, eating of human flesh, filthy (I’m telling you), all kinds of sex, swearing, abduction, mentions of other idols, mentions of eating children but he stopped don’t worry
A/N: Pure fiction, we all know that Jaehyun doesn’t need girls to make him handsome. I made this filthier than ever because it’s my last fic for 127 House. I made a timestamp for this as a bonus preview so if you already read it, yay. Inspired by the movie Jennifer’s Body. Gore (?) after the cut, then followed by smut. 
Date: Nov 5
PREVIEW, SEND AN ASK OR MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED
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Once upon a time, there were five teenagers who want to make a deal with the devil. The clueless teenagers did not know that what they were doing was wrong. Meaning, wrong methods, wrong sacrifice.
Given that they don’t know what they were doing, they singlehandedly or accidentally brought a creature into this world. The bothered creature that was summoned ate the teenagers as the creature was so confused, why was he bothered in his own torture cell in hell?
It starved for days, lost in a world that’s not familiar to him. He fed himself with every human who crosses paths with him, men, women, and children. Until it finally knew that eating humans can make him look just like them.
The creature adapted in this world, living like a normal human and walking amongst us, still not knowing how to go home.
“And that creature is me. Happy Halloween class, enjoy the night” Jaehyun finishes his story in front of his class. Watching every student laugh and shrug his ‘scary’ story for Halloween. They thought he was joking, and that was the fun part Jaehyun thought.
“See you on our next session Mr. Jung” a flirty young girl waved goodbye to him, smiling like she wanted to get on her knees and suck Jaehyun's cock right then and there.
“Enjoy Halloween” he winked back at her and proceed to fix his things and leave the classroom.
It was exactly a decade ago when those stupid teenagers brought him to this world. He didn’t have much of a choice but to live like a normal human to save himself. Feed from their flesh, kill every two weeks, and get on with life as if nothing gruesome happened inside his house.
Jaehyun targets girls, women in their early twenties or older. He stopped eating children only because the effect on him does not stay for long. Whereas, eating older people can last two weeks max. Luring girls was never hard for Jaehyun because he’s naturally handsome, but without human flesh, he returns to the disgusting creature he used to be.
Tinder is his go-to restaurant. A little swipe right over here, a swipe right over there, and voila! He now has a tasty dinner and for Halloween night, perfect to celebrate his existence here in this world.
As part of his adaptation in this world, he learned how to cook human meals for his victims. Feeding them good food before he eats them. In the middle of cooking in his big kitchen, his doorbell rang assuming that it’s his food that just arrived. He opened his door with a smile, welcoming the young lady inside his beautiful house, smelling her for some time during the hug. Delicious, he thought.
“Wow. Your house is big” the clueless girl exclaims. It’s always the same, every girl who steps inside his house is always amazed at how beautiful 127 House is. It’s white interior always captures the ladies’ hearts and leave them in awe.
“I hope you’re hungry. I made dinner for us” he gave the girl a flirty smile, flashing those cute dimples of his that always make the girls smile.
During dinner, Jaehyun can’t rush his meal and get on with the kill already. He is patient and takes time to know what he’s about to eat. He asks a lot of questions to gain the girl’s trust and fool her that Jaehyun is actually into her. “Do you do drugs?” the most important question for the night. Jaehyun hates eating humans who do drugs because it has a side effect on him as if his body can’t handle the drugs itself that it makes him weak on the spot. So much for being a creature from hell.
“No, I don’t do drugs. Do you?” the girl answered with wide eyes.
“No no. I’m clean” he smiled and put his hand on the girl’s thigh. Slowly caressing it until Jaehyun reaches her damped panties. “Can you open your legs for me?” Jaehyun’s irresistible request made the girl open her legs a little wider under the table. Rolling her head side to side as she feels Jaehyun’s cold fingers brushing on her clothed clit.
It’s time, Jaehyun thought. Dinner is served.
He pushed the plates away, glasses clinking, utensils started to fall from the table. Jaehyun carried her and put her on the dinner table, kissing her wildly to put the girl in the mood and make her horny. It always works. While he’s busy kissing her, his hands slowly remove her panties and spread her legs a little rough and push her on the dinner table.
“We really doing this here?” the girl asks.
“This is the perfect place to eat you”
The girl smiles and felt excited because a handsome man like Jaehyun is about to eat her pussy. Little did she know, that Jaehyun will quite do it literally. He planted kisses on her inner thighs, making the girl moan and tickle in the meantime. Jaehyun runs a finger on her slit and makes her legs shiver, licking his finger as if he’s having a taste of his dinner.
“Eat me already” she protests. Jaehyun chuckled low and puts two fingers inside her before he makes a move.
Jaehyun’s first lick from her pussy makes his head turn and breathe heavily for the girl he’s about to eat tonight tastes delicious. He licks and licks the girl, not listening to her moaning, not minding if she’s calling his name. The way he licked the girl was like he was having ice cream on a hot summer, sucking her arousal and putting pressure on her clit. Unaware of what’s happening to the girl, he didn’t care if she already came and overstimulated. Jaehyun continued licking his dinner even though the girl is pushing him already, but still having the time of her life.
She then felt Jaehyun bite clit and made her shout a little too loud that her voice echoed around 127 House. She propped her shoulder and saw Jaehyun’s eyes turned plain black. He smiled at her making the girl shout in horror and shout for her life but Jaehyun’s tongue is making her cum again for the second time tonight, harder than the first one she had.
And that’s Jaehyun’s cue to eat her. Bit her off. Letting her blood pool around his dinner table. He ate her flesh by flesh, sipping every drop of her blood, chewing all her intestines, licker the flavor off her skin like an animal. He can feel himself glow as he continues to eat her.
Pouring himself a glass of his favorite wine, he looks at his reflection through the goblet and admires his handsomeness. Skin clearer as ever, eyes without dark circles, firm ass. He smiled to himself as he feels much more alive and young now. Jaehyun went back to the dead body on his table, kissing the girl on the cheek and thanking her for making him handsome.  
FULL FIC HERE
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talesofstyles · 4 years
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Quid Pro Quo
Another lawyer!Harry. Technically six years before this piece. Enemies to lovers with plenty of angst :))) [7k]
massive thank you to @smokeinherperfume @for-fucks-sake-h and @emotionally-imbruised​ 🥺💛
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This has got to be one of the worst weeks of your professional life.
It’s only Thursday and this past week you haven’t left your office before eleven every night. You’re currently working on nine cases, two of which require immediate action, and you’ll most likely have to go to trial for at least three of the cases because the motions to dismiss that you filed were denied. Last night alone you didn’t get a wink of sleep because you were busy preparing for a deposition this morning, which turned out to be practically useless, because your client completely ignored your advice and said everything you told them not to and basically shit the bed for you.
You know this is what you signed up for when you decided to become a lawyer at a top law firm in the City. Clifford Chance is not a joke, there’s a reason why they’re number second in the UK and you knew that long before you even started working here. There’s a common knowledge which most law students throughout the UK knows, that if you work at Clifford Chance, you don’t get to sit around. Put it this way: if you let six minutes tick away without achieving anything, you’ve wasted the firm fifty pounds. Twelve minutes: one hundred pounds. Eighteen minutes: one fifty. You do the math.
It’s not that you hate your job. On the contrary, you absolutely love your job. You know you’re good at it. You love the thrill of negotiation. You like to argue and make the best point in the room. You’re addicted to the adrenaline rush of closing a deal, and frankly, nothing satisfy you more than spotting the loopholes in a contract (with the exception of sex of course but it has really been a while and you’re practically a nun these days so it’s not even worth mentioning).
 But sometimes it’s just too much. You’ve been working for fifty five hours per week, and sure, the money’s good (scratch that—the money’s great), but you don’t have a life outside of work and you’re beginning to realise that it’s one hell of a price to pay. 
The truth is, you know all this nonsense is not because you hate your job, nor because you’re stretched too thin. Interestingly, you actually thrive under pressure and you know that’s one of your qualities that makes you a good lawyer. And life outside of work? Even the thought of it makes you laugh. Your work is your life. You’ve never complained about that. This bitterness inside of you that you don’t even realise exists emerged when Harry Styles waltzed into your firm three months ago. You don’t normally make a big deal about people coming into the firm, because you’re good with people and you’re friends with everyone. But the thing is, you resent him because your firm gave him a senior partner title right away, one that you’ve been busting your arse for by working about two hundred hours per month minimum for the past year, just because he came from your firm’s rival which happens to be the number one law firm in the UK. And on top of that, he didn’t come empty handed. He brought five big clients with him when he came knocking on your firm’s door, and that sort of sealed the deal for your managing partner to choose him instead of you to be promoted to senior partner this year.
Bloody bum licker.
Your frustrated groan bounces off the thin walls of your two bedroom flat that you shared with your best friend and you accidentally slam the door a little too harsh. Luckily, she’s used to you coming home in such a state for the past three months, so she just turns her head to see you from where she’s sat on the couch in the living room, stifling a laugh.
“Harry Styles?” She ventures, smirking at you and you groan in annoyance as you throw your keys in the bowl.
“Harry,” you grunt. “Fucking Styles.”
Fran can’t help but laugh, and you give her a look that tells her you’d probably kill her if she keeps that up as you walk past her and straight into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge, so she’s back trying to stifle her laughter.
“Alright,” she replies, you can hear amusement in her tone. “What did he do this time?”
“He took my case!” you snap as you plop down on the couch with a bottle of Riesling in your hand. Fran puts her laptop on the coffee table and turns to face you, sitting expectantly, waiting for the oncoming rant. “He’s just- ugh. I can’t stand him, Fran. He’s unbelievable.”
“What?” She stares at you in confusion. “How?”
“So Luke came to the office this morning-”
“Luke-”
“Don’t-” you cut her off before she can finish her sentence. “I know what you’re about to say, and yes, that Luke. So, he came to the office this morning because he’s got a problem. Basically, his company just cut a huge deal but he needs to get out of this contract because his general counsel accidentally let them slip something into the fine print.”
“Shit,” she remarks. “That is a fireable offense.”
“Yeah,” you agree. “The guy was fired on the spot. The thing is, if Luke fulfills this order, he goes out of business.”
“And if he doesn’t,” she pauses, looking at you for a second before adding another remark. “Shit, they’ll sue him for breach of contract.” 
“Exactly,” you sigh. “I’ve been at it all day trying to spot loopholes in the contract to save his company.”
You really miss working together with Fran. You’ve been living together since you were both still in law school, and Fran used to work in Clifford Chance as well until ten months ago when she decided she wanted to focus on fashion law and moved to Addleshaw Goddard.
It’s not that you’re not happy for her. You’re glad she found something that she’s passionate about. It’s just you’re so used to working on cases and going to mock trials together and you can’t deny that you miss it sometimes. You just wish that she’d stayed, because you know it would be much easier to handle Harry if you’ve got your best friend with you.
“Right,” she nods. “And I’m guessing Harry came to you and he wanted in?”
“That bastard!” You scowl. “He just waltzed into my office out of the blue and was like, ‘I gather Luke Whiteacre needs to get out of something? I want in.’ I mean… who does that?! He didn’t even say hi when he walked in!”
Fran snickers at your terrible impression of Harry. She hasn’t met him yet but she knows there’s no way he talks like that. “And you’re upset because he didn’t say hi?”
“Fran!”
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” she hastily amends. “Look, maybe he’s just trying to help? He’s not taking your case, babe, believe me. You’re still on it, aren’t you?”
“Well, I am,” you let out another sigh.
“See?” She goes on. “And even if he tries to, Luke wouldn’t let it happen. He’s been your client since forever.”
“Still. I don’t like the fact that he thought he could just walk into my office and hijack my case,” you say in exasperation. “I’m gonna kill him, Fran. I swear to god I’m gonna kill him.”
Fran burst in laughter, muttering your name in a chastising tone. “Don’t. You won’t look good in prison stripes,” she shakes her head. “Really rubs you in the wrong way, doesn’t he?”
“Absolutely,” you roll your eyes.
“Come on, babe,” she continues with a smirk. “I’ve said this before, you need to shag him. Take out all those frustrations…”
“Keep that up and I’ll put your name on my people-to-murder list next to his,” you grunt, standing up from the couch and head towards the kitchen hoping to find some treats from the snack cabinet.
Fran giggles as she takes her laptop back onto her lap and begins typing. “Let’s go out,” she suggests. “Been a while. You look like you could use a night out.”
“I can’t,” you slump against the couch with a bag of chocolate buttons. “He’s on his way here.”
“What? Harry?” She looks at you in surprise. “Why?”
“Yeah,” you shrug carelessly. “We need to work on Luke’s case.”
“Have you still got some condoms in your room?” She says teasingly. “I’ve got some just in case you need them. Just-”
The sound of the doorbell rings cuts your best friend’s teasing remark. It’s definitely Harry, and you give Fran one last death glare and Ross Geller’s version of middle finger as you get up from the couch and walk towards the front door to let him in.
“Hey,” he greets you with his usual smug smile that irritates you to no end. “Lovely flat you’ve got here.”
“We better get started,” you say dismissively as you close the door behind him before you lead him into your living room. You suddenly realise that it’s your first time seeing him not in one of his expensive suits. Not that you care enough about him to notice that. It’s just he happens to be wearing a lot of Jermyn Street suits, and you know they don’t come cheap. 
This time he’s only in his crisp white button-up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbow. His arms are full with folders that you asked him to take from the office, and as the two of you walk into your living room, you see Fran turning her head to greet him. “Hi.”
“Hey, you must be Fran,” he smiles as he strides to the couch.
“And you must be Harry,” Fran replies, before tilting her head to smirk at you. “Heard a lot about you.”
“Have you now?” Harry chuckles. “Only good thing, I hope?”
“Oh,” Fran can’t help but snort. “Only the best.”
You end up ordering Chinese because neither of you have had dinner, and Fran ends up helping both you and Harry on the case in the living room. Even with three heads brainstorming together you’re still struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 
It is now past midnight and you and Harry are still working on your case. Fran has gone up to her room a little over two hours ago, leaving just the two of you in your living room. Your coffee table is strewn with photocopied draft contracts, financial reports, note-pads covered in scribbles, post-its and two cups of cold coffee from four hours ago that both of you keep accidentally drinking. Take-out boxes are littering the floor, and you can barely keep your eyes open as you read through yet another file to find literally anything which could potentially help.
“I tell you what, this is ironclad,” you let out a heavy sigh as you throw the document on the coffee table in defeat. “Houdini wouldn’t even get out of this contract.”
“We need to adjourn,” Harry suggests, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Regroup tomorrow to get to the bottom of this with clear heads. I’ve got a trial at half nine but I’ll be done by noon.”
“I can’t rest before we figure this out,” you state stubbornly, pausing for a second to let out a yawn. “But you go home. I’ll let you know if I’ve got something.”
“No,” Harry shakes his head. “You have to rest. If you were to come up with something you would’ve by now.”
You feel a stab of indignation. “Are you saying that I’m not capable of getting to the bottom of this myself?”
“Fuck’s sake,” Harry says in exasperation. “How did you even come up with that? I was just saying you’re knackered, well we both are, so we’re not thinking clearly. But you know what? If you wanna keep going, that’s your decision. But I’m not going to.”
“Well, I never asked you to!” you retort defensively.
Harry rolls his eyes as he gets up from your couch, heading towards the door without saying another word and you can’t help but groan in annoyance. With Harry, you’re quite capable of going from calm to seething in 0-60, and you’re too pissed to even notice Fran stifling her giggles from the kitchen.
“Oh, yeah,” Fran appears in the living room with a glass of water in her hand, staring at you with one eyebrow arched high. “There’s no tension there at all.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, give it a rest!”
***
By two o’clock you’re already exhausted and brain dead after only three hours of sleep and non-stop work since this morning. You haven’t even had lunch yet, but even just the thought of eating already makes you nauseous because you can’t stop thinking about how crushed Luke is going to be when you tell him that he’s going out of business. Truth be told you don’t want to jump that far, but what Harry said last night keeps replaying on your mind like a broken cassette. ‘If you were to come up with something, you would have by now.’ And here you are, twenty-eight hours later, still have got nothing.
Speak of the devil.
“Where have you been?” Harry asks in a prickly tone as he walks into your office. His brows are knitted together and he looks concerned. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Honestly, a ‘hi’ would be nice.
“I’ll tell you where,” you shift your attention from your computer and look at him. “I was getting screwed by Berkeley Group and trying to figure out what to do about it.”
Harry gives you a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
“I went there with a dozen win-win offers and they shot down every single one,” you say stonily.
“Did you threaten litigation?” asked Harry, a bit superciliously.
“Harry, I threaten them with everything but the kitchen sink,” you flash him an incandescent look. “The thing is, this contract is airtight and they know it.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Harry says promptly with a glint of hope in his eyes. “And this won’t make Luke go out of business.”
“What you on about?”
“Slicing and dicing,” says Harry with a smug smile. 
You flash him another incandescent look. “Are you telling me that your big brilliant idea is to split his commercial division from his retail?”
The glint of hope disappears from his eyes as he looks at you. “This is the only way out.”
“Cutting someone’s arm off is not a way out!” you practically shriek. 
“It is if their life depends on it!” Harry yells in frustration, the volume of his voice matches yours and you can’t help but notice two associates stop for a second just to have a peek at you and Harry having a screaming match before they continue walking past your office.
“Look,” he begins again, and you know he’s calmed down a little because he’s not as loud as three seconds ago. “If we do this, we have a chance to get Berkeley back to the table before we cut anything off.”
“Listen to me Harry,” you venture after a pause. “I’m sorry but we’re not going back to Luke with this bullshit. Thank you for your help so far, but you’re off the case.”
“What?” Harry turns to you in disbelief.
“You heard me,” you give him a dismissive blink that makes him feel like an insect. “I’m taking back this case.”
You turn your attention back to some random document on your desk, pretending to read carefully, not daring to meet his eyes. Luckily he leaves your office without saying another word after a second or two of pause, and you slump back further on your chair as he slams your door behind him.
For the rest of the afternoon you’ve decided to keep yourself busy with your other cases, but you know deep down you won’t be able to focus on anything else before you get Luke out of the woods. You can’t let him go out of business. You just can’t. Not only because you’ve been looking after his company for years, hell you were only an associate when he first became a client, but you also saw with your own eyes how his company grew. He was only just starting his business when he came into your firm, and you witnessed it firsthand how he nurtured it into the big and successful company it is now.
On a side note, you also can’t stop thinking about what happened in your office earlier. Sure, you and Harry don’t particularly get along like a house on fire, but you didn’t have to be so rude, did you? His approach to the problem might be different than yours, but deep down you knew he was only trying to help.
So on your way to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea, you decided to stop by his office. You know you owe him an apology. 
“Hi,” his door is open but you decided to knock anyway. “Mind if I come in?”
He looks up at you instantly, pushing his chair a little further away from his desk to break his attention from his computer. “Of course not, come in.”
“Look-”
“Look-”
You both say simultaneously, before breaking into a chuckle. 
“Let me go first,” he begins with a smile, which for some reason doesn’t look smug this time and you nod. “I owe you an apology. I’m sorry. That case is yours to begin with, and I should’ve trusted you to bring it home how you see fit.”
“Well I’m sorry too,” you add hastily. “Guess I let my emotion get the best of me back there. I was rude when you were only trying to help.”
“Hey, no need to apologise to me,” he replies without flickering. “I absolutely understand.”
“It’s just,” you continue as you saunter to his desk. “Luke was my first client. Ever. The first time I went solo on a case, it was for his company. I just can’t let him down.”
“Look, we don’t know that yet,” he assures you gently. “And even if it comes to that point, it’s not your fault. If anything it’s the general counsel’s fault.”
“Holy shit-” you say suddenly. “Harry!”
“What?” he looks at you in confusion.
“The general counsel didn’t just make one mistake,” you go on as you look at Harry with glimmering hope. “He made two, he never ran the final contract by me.”
“Holy shit he didn’t,” Harry remarks. “Because he knew you’d catch any mistake. So he didn’t make a mistake…”
“No it was on purpose,” you can’t help a pleased little smile coming to your lips. “Isn’t it a coincidence that he just signed a contract to work at a subsidiary of Berkeley?”
“This is brilliant,” he replies excitedly. “You’re brilliant.”
“Say that again?” you joke.
“No, you need to get them on the phone right now,” Harry gives you a rictus smile. “And I need to find us some bloody champagne.”
***
Harry grins as he walks into your office and asks, as though you’re mid-conversation. “Have you made the call?”
“Ooh, that’s a good one,” you grin when you notice a bottle of Moët & Chandon in his hand. “Where did you get that?”
“Leftovers from the Christmas party,” he chuckles as he quickly opens it . “How’s it? What did they say?”
“Well, the contract is back exactly the way it was,” you begin, giving him a smug smile for a change. “Well, with a twenty five percent increase.”
He looks at you suspiciously, one of his eyebrows arched high. “Twenty five?”
“Fine,” you roll your eyes comically. “Forty.”
“Bloody hell,” he chuckles. “You don’t mess about, do you? Remind me to never mess with you.”
You laugh and take a sip of the champagne. “We need to celebrate this.”
“Do you wanna go out?”
“Oh no, I’ve got something better,” you smirk as you hand him a folder. “Take a look.”
Harry takes the folder promptly and begins skimming through the documents, occasionally taking sips of the champagne in between. “Aha, you need to get out of a deal.”
“Exactly,” you grin. “We need to get out of a deal I negotiated for a mobile payment app with our client’s credit card provider.”
“This is a three years deal and you’re only three months in,” Harry observes as he continues skimming through the files.
“Well, that’s what makes it fun, innit?” your grin widens.
“Oh, absolutely. This is fun,” his eyes twinkling in delight. “You don’t have any legal grounds to do it. Have you got something in mind?”
“Mhm,” you hum as you take another swig of champagne. “I think if I can find a reason to pay into a trust instead of to them directly then we can squeeze them…”
“Make them take a buyout,” Harry adds.
“Look at us finishing each other’s sentences already,” you make an elaborate gesture with your champagne flute and Harry gives you a shrill laugh.
“We’re best friends now, aren’t we?”
You retort at once. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Alright,” says Harry, his eyes still flashing with amusement. “That’s a good plan by the way. What do you want me to do?”
“I need precedents by noon.”
“You’ll have them on your desk by nine am sharp,” he smirks.
***
Harry keeps his promise.
When you arrive in your office at a little over nine, there are six folders from Harry waiting for you on your desk, which means that he didn’t only get you one or two but six precedents for the new case that you’re both working on. This is the boost of confidence that you need, because today you’re scheduled to go to the judge’s chamber and meet with the lawyer on the opposing side. Who knows, maybe this will be a quick one and the case will be over by the end of the day.
Well, that’s a nice thought. But in order for the case to be dismissed, the lawyer from the opposing side needs to show up here first and foremost. You’ve been sitting in the judge’s chamber for nearly fifteen minutes now, and he has warned you about ten times that if the other lawyer doesn’t show up, he would have to deny your motion to dismiss.
“Hello, sorry I’m late,” a voice pipes in from the door, and when you turn around, you see a woman with a smug smile that reminds you of Harry’s, clad in L.K. Bennett from head to toe walks into the room. She offers you a hand before she sits down, and you politely reach out yours for a handshake. “Camille Sweetings, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Have you now?” you give her a mocking smile as you begin confidently. “Well, you haven’t lived up to your obligations and according to these six precedents, we have the right to nullify this entire deal right now.”
You really don’t like the look on her face. Any other lawyers would at least be slightly ticked to hear that, but she still has the same smug smile across her face. “You don’t have the right to do anything, you’re in violation of your contract.”
“Paying into a trust isn’t a violation,” you frown.
“No,” she agrees. “But meeting with the competition is.”
You can’t see your own face, but if you do, you’re most likely to look like you’ve just seen a ghost. How did she even know that? You try to remain calm and look at the judge. “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”
“No,” she’s smiling as she says the word. “You just didn’t know I’d find out about it. Your Honour, I’ve got a confirmation that YN YLN has engaged in a pattern of dirty tricks, unethical behaviour and borderline illegal activity. All in the name of ‘representing’ her clients.”
Your rage simmers up into a froth. “If you’re gonna say all that about me, you better damn well be able to back it up.”
You want nothing more than to rip off the smirk across her face as she hands two files to the judge. “Here are two of Ms YLN's old cases. There you’ll find settlements withheld and meetings with the competition.”
“How the hell did you get these?!” you exclaim indignantly. “Your Honour, my past cases have no relevance here.”
“No, but your answers to my question do,” he says sternly. “Did you or did you not meet with the competition last week?”
***
You stride back into your office furiously. Who the hell was that woman? You didn’t even know her yet she apparently knew a damn lot about you. Nobody even knew you had a meeting with the competition last week, so there has got to be something bigger going on yet you just can’t seem to figure that out.
You begin to realise maybe this whole case isn’t a good idea and you silently promise yourself that you will never take on anything with getting out of contracts or deals or basically everything that Harry is good at ever again. This isn’t your thing, this is Harry’s. Your thing is everything that has everything to do with mergers, acquisitions, all that, just like Fran’s thing is everything with fashion law. This whole thing is really stressing you out and you plan to speak to Harry when you get the chance later today to just hand him the case. 
Speak of the devil.
“Hey! How was the hearing?” he sounds jovial as he walks into your office with a bright smile. “Should I get another bottle of champagne for tonight? Of course when I say ‘get’ I meant ‘steal’ from downstairs.”
“The judge bit my head off,” you scoff.
He flashes you a quizzical look. “What? Why?”
“The other lawyer found some dirt about me,” you begin, already seething as you picture her face with that bloody smug smile in your head. “She found two of my old cases and said really nasty things about me to the judge. And before you say anything, no, I didn’t do anything illegal. But I’ve got to admit it was unethical.”
“Shit,” he looks at you, concerned. “Look, there’s no way they could’ve found all those shit just like that.”
“That’s what I’m thinking about,” you reply at once. “There’s got to be something bigger going on. This is a desperate move, I tell you.”
“I agree,” he nods. “It sounds shady, and in my experience the other side only does something like this when they’ve already done something even shadier.”
You look at him with a glint of hope. “So you also think they’re hiding something?”
“Yeah,” he sounds so sure. “And don’t worry, we’re gonna find it.”
“Good,” you remark. “Because there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let bloody Camille Sweetings get the better of me.”
“Wait, who?” this time, it’s Harry who looks like he has just seen a ghost. The colours have drained from his face, and you look at him in confusion.
“Camille Sweetings,” you repeat yourself, wrinkling your nose in disgust because you hate the sound of her name rolling out of your lips. “Why? Do you know her?”
“Have they put my name on this case?” he ignores your questions.
“Yeah, yesterday,” you frown. “Harry, what’s wrong?”
He takes a deep breath before he begins, looking at you in the eyes. “She and I, well, uh, we were together for a while.”
“What?!” you can’t hide your dismay. “Fucking hell, Harry. As if this isn’t complicated enough!”
You lapse into silence for a few seconds, neither of you knowing what to say.
“I think this is personal,” he ventures after the pause. “Look, if you want me off the case now, I completely understand. I won’t fight you. But I hope you don’t because you need help now more than ever.”
“Just,” you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “Please get out of my office.”
***
By nine pm you’ve already come up with three win-win offers, yet Camille bloody Sweetings gives you a shrill laugh every time and shoots down every single one. Honestly, she is the female version of Harry. They make a great couple, those two shady bastards. They should’ve gotten married and make a couple of shady children.
“Sod off, Harry,” you say without even moving your head from looking at your computer, but you know he’s standing in front of your office, probably waiting for the right time to come in. Honestly, he might be a brilliant lawyer but he sucks big time at a simple game of hide and seek. Behind the wall? That’s a toddler-level hiding spot.
“No,” he insists, finally walking towards your desk. “I wanna help.”
“I told you I don’t need your help,” you give him a dismissive blink that makes him feel like an insect.
He says your name sternly, making you look in his direction and finally meets his eyes. “Believe me, you do. You think I’m shady? That bloody snake is ten times worse. You need help, and I don’t care what you say because I’ve just checked and my name is still on the attorneys listed.”
“Fine,” you concede. “Take a look at this. This is as best as she could get yet she bloody refused them all.”
Harry takes the files from your hand and quickly skims through the documents, muttering one or two profanities under his breath before he puts them back on your desk. “You know what, we’re going out tonight.”
Is he joking? 
“My arse is on the line here in case you haven’t realised,” you look at him in disbelief. “She pulls shit like this again, it’s gonna cost me my license.”
Your name rolls out of his lips again and he looks at you without blinking. “Come on, we need to blow off some steam. We don’t do that, we’re gonna kill each other.”
Three hours later, you feel like you’ll never be able to get out of the comfiest bar stool you’ve ever sat on. You’ve never been to Hawksmoor, but Harry swears this place is good even though it’s filled with boring bankers with their ties stuffed in suit pockets (not that Harry’s tie isn’t also stuffed in his suit pocket, but, you know, at least he’s not a banker), so you followed his lead and let him take you here.
The salvaged furniture, low lighting, comfy seating and charming staff make it an easy place to settle into. Sitting beside you is Harry with his neat whiskey, which you realise that he hasn’t finished when you’ve already had three refills of your gin and tonics. Your head is most likely going to fall off tomorrow morning, you just know it.
“Argh,” you groan. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Right now?” Harry deadpan. “Huge quantities of alcohol.”
“Sod off,” you playfully nudge his shoulder. “By the way, you’ve got more ex-girlfriends lawyers I should know about?”
Harry laughs, his eyes crinkled and shining. “I’ll send you a list.”
“Good,” you mumble against the edge of the glass, before taking another swig of your drink.
“How about you?” Harry is smirking at you, one of his eyebrows arched high. “Any lawyers you’re seeing that I should know?”
You laugh. “I don’t shit where I eat.”
“Shut up,” Harry looks at you suspiciously, still with a huge shit-eating grin. “You’re telling me you’ve never got involved with anyone at work?”
There’s silence.
“Shit,” Harry remarks. “Who was it?”
You exhale sharply before you answer. “Luke.”
Harry takes a gulp of his drink. “Well, that makes sense.”
“You don’t even know which Luke I was talking about,” you frown. “You could be wrong, you know. There are millions of Lukes.”
“Oh, of course it’s Luke Whiteacre,” he chuckles. “Didn’t go to law school for nothing, did I? But I’ve got to say, it finally makes sense.”
“Don’t say anything to anyone,” you say sternly, starting to realise that you’ve probably made a mistake of telling him. “It was a long time ago anyway.”
“So, how was he?” he’s grinning.
You can’t help but laugh. “Are we having a girl talk right now?”
“No,” he shrugs carelessly. “Just wanna know how he was.”
“You want me to go into details?” you tease, and even though he doesn’t say anything, you know he’s glad you’re not as tense as a few hours prior. “Cause I could. What do you wanna know? Stamina? Girth? Technique? I could go on…”
“Ew!”
You’re laughing so hard that you nearly fell off the bar stool if Harry didn’t quickly catch you, and you realise this is the first time your arm brushes against his, and for a second you’ve both stilled, but you ignored it because this doesn’t mean anything. You’re both drunk anyway. “Why did you break up with she-who-must-not-be-named?” you peer at him.
“We had a pregnancy scare,” he says, looking down for a second at his drink before taking another swig.
“Shit,” you gape at him. “Was she-”
“No, she wasn’t,” he shakes his head. “But it made me realise that she’s not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, let alone actually having children with. So I called it off.”
“Sorry,” you can’t help yourself from chuckling. “But you made the right decision. Don’t have a baby with a snake.”
“Don’t apologise, you’re right,” Harry joins you in laughter. “How about you and Luke? What happened?”
“Work got in the way,” you drain the rest of your drink before motioning for the bartender to get you another one. “I was only an associate back then so I worked so hard to get junior partner. And his company wasn’t as big as it is now so he was working crazy hours too because he was trying to expand it. We saw each other about three times a month for half a year before we called it off.”
“Three times a month?” his eyes widen in surprise.
“Mhm,” you hum, mouthing a thank you to the bartender as he hands you another drink. “We were besotted but we just didn’t have time for a relationship.”
“Do you still-”
“What? No,” you laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. The ship has sailed now.”
“Good,” he smiles at you, before hastily corrects himself. “I mean, good for you.”
You take another big gulp of your drink before you push it away. “Alright, playtime’s over,” you smirk at him. “Let’s get back to work.”
“Are you joking?” he gives you a quizzical look. “It’s nearly midnight and you’re drunk.”
“I just need two cups of coffee and a cold shower and I’ll be fine,” you reply as you hop off the bar stool, he quickly reaches his hand out for you to hold. “Let’s go back to my place so I can have a quick shower.”
“Let’s go to mine,” he offers. “Technically Maida Vale is closer from here than Hammersmith.”
“Are you trying to take me home, Styles?” you deadpan, your voice a little slurred. “Should’ve bought me dinner first, don’t you think?”
“Hey, I’ve bought you lots of dinners,” he retorts. 
“No, Styles,” you shake your head, chuckling. “Clifford Chance bought me dinners. Been using the company’s card, haven’t you?”
Harry laughs. “You’ve got me.”
***
In under an hour, you’ve arrived at Harry’s flat, had a cup of coffee, and a cold shower just as you requested. You’ve ditched your work dress and slipped into the clothes that Harry had laid on his bed for you; a blue Mickey Mouse t-shirt and a pair of black shorts, and when you walk into his sitting room, you see him sitting on his plush sofa with some clipped documents in his hand.
Your eyes dart around his flat once again as you plop yourself down on his sofa. He’s got a great taste, you’ve got to admit, because his flat is lush. It’s on the fourth floor of a beautiful, red-brick, Edwardian mansion which Maida Vale is well-known for, and the inside is modern meets classic. The gray panelled walls blend nicely with the elegant patterned wood floor, and the cream curtains really tie the look of his flat altogether. It really is a gorgeous flat, not to mention the white marble en suite and his really neat, sparsely decorated bedroom.
“Alright,” you begin, taking a document into your hand and begin skimming through briefly only to put it back on the coffee table in less than thirty seconds. “I’ve been at it all day, we’ve been at it for a while and it’s getting us nowhere. I think we need to shake down some employees.”
“And that’s all well and good,” he turns to look at you. “But if we don’t know what to ask, we’re not going to get any answers.”
“Yes we will,” you insist. “They don’t know what we don’t know, do they?”
“They don’t know what we don’t know…”
“That’s literally what I just said,” you frown.
“No,” he shakes his head. “Look, I’m saying according to this report, their accounts are growing by 200% a month.”
“Wait a second,” you remark. “If that’s true then why are they clinging to this deal like it’s their newborn and I’m Herod?”
“Because maybe they’re not really growing by 200% a month,” Harry adds. “Look, March, 5 million new users, but 60% of these card holders don’t even seem to know they have the cards.”
“Holy shit,” your eyes widen in surprise. “The people are real, but the accounts are fake. Harry, this isn’t just shady, this is the type of shit that lands someone in prison. And if Camille knows all this…”
Harry grins. “Wait til the judge sees this.”
“The judge?” you look at him suspiciously. “Why don’t we just leverage them into letting us out?”
“Because, darling, we have the upper hand now,” he says, still grinning. “We can’t give her a chance to get it back.”
“Harry, if Camille has anything to do with this it would ruin her,” you warn him. “I can’t let you do this to someone you once cared about.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about her,” Harry says harshly. “Not anymore. If she doesn’t want to be ruined she shouldn’t have gotten involved in this. And she damn sure shouldn’t have fucked with someone I care about.”
“What?”
“You better get some sleep,” he jerks his head towards his bedroom. “We’re going to the court first thing in the morning.”
***
Harry’s bed has got to be one of the comfiest places on earth.
He gave you his bed for the night and opted for the couch, which you bet just as cosy so you didn’t really feel bad. When you wake up, he’s already clad in his white button-up shirt and black trousers, swinging the fridge open to get a freshly squeezed cranberry juice.
“Morning,” he smiles when he notices you as he pours some coffee and juice for both of you. “Have some toast.”
“You know how to treat your guest with a good breakfast, don’t you?” you tease him as you look around the jars on the breakfast nook. There are several kinds of luxury marmalade, strawberry jam with champagne, wild blossom honey and even Belgian chocolate spread. Honestly, who is this man?
“No hangover?”
“Surprisingly, no,” you chuckle. “I mean my head is pounding of course but it’s not too bad, nothing I can’t handle.”
“You want some nurofen?”
“No thanks,” you shake your head and take the cup of coffee from Harry’s hand. “Harry, we need to talk.”
He sighs. “You’re gonna try to change my mind, aren’t you?”
“I am,” you nod as you look through the jars of fancy jams, trying to choose one, before going with just salted butter instead. “I can’t let you do that. She might be a snake but I’m not. We’re not.” 
Harry just look at you in silence, and you continue.
“If we do this, then what’s the difference between us and her?” you go on, trying to sound convincing. “We’re better than that. We’re good people, you know.”
“But we’re going to make her pay,” he finally concedes and you smile. “Really make her pay.”
“That I agree,” you nod. “Okay, I’ll just go home quickly to get changed then we’ll meet at the office? Need to pay her a visit don’t we?”
“We can just go together,” Harry suggests. “We’ll stop by your flat then we can go straight to that snake’s office.”
***
“Are you crazy?” Camille flashes an incandescent look at both you and Harry. “I sign that, my client will be on the brink of bankruptcy!”
“So you rather go to prison?” Harry frowns and you try to stifle your giggle. “I mean, it’s your choice, but-”
“Fine!” she says in exasperation. “I’ll sign it. But give me your word this wouldn’t go out of these walls.”
You hand her the file and pen, and as she’s signing it, you can’t resist yourself. “You go near me or my clients again I swear to god you are dead fucking meat.”
Harry can’t help but chuckling, and you both don’t waste another minute in Camille’s office before you head out with smug smiles plastered across both of your faces. 
“You’re a badass lawyer,” he compliments you as he opens the passenger door for you.
“Stating the obvious there,” you smirk as you slide into his car and buckle up your seat belt. “But thank you, you’re not a shit lawyer yourself.”
“Since we’re passing compliments, shall we do it over a drink?”
“Drinks, Styles,” you shoot him a savage smile. “And you’re buying. Not Clifford Chance.”
Harry laughs, closing the car’s door. “As you wish.”
-
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edwardleethompson · 4 years
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Liked on YouTube: "Live PD: Searching for the Doorbell Licker (Season 3) | A&E" https://youtu.be/SRPcHhYT9Sk
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kailacrosse · 5 years
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Watch “Strange But True:Doorbell Licker” on YouTube
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This is How You Settle on the Best Door Chime for Your Business
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When you are interested in purchasing a business door chime, your first move ought to be figuring out your business interests. Here, you need to look into your office design, whether you have to keep certain sections of your business locked or not, and many more things that are going to help you narrow down to your final choice. Whatever you decide to settle on, ascertain that you abide by the instructions of the manufacturer. Get more information about door chime at https://www.reliablechimes.com.
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You have an alternative to set the entryway ring to go off each time that there's a person at the entryway if that is your inclination. There are times that the constant ringing can become irritating that you want to shut it off. Some door chimes give you the chance of turning them off whenever you desire. Here, the individual working the entryway can pick either to reject or respect the individual endeavoring to enter without making any clamor. You can likewise set such rings up on clock with the goal that the ring turns on at a specific time of day. This can be extraordinary during the night when there's moderate traffic at the entryway. You can alter everything to suit your needs. There is no ultimate option with regards to the door chimes and they are quite diverse. This makes it a lot simpler to discover something that fulfills your needs as well as the majority of your workers. Pick out the most interesting info about door chime at https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/doorbell-licker-caught-on-camera-salinas_n_5c34ea73e4b0116c11f0f0fb.
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msmeiriona · 5 years
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Teach your fucking kids right. Tonight 3 kids thought it would be comical to doorbell ditch my house roughly about the same time of night that our mess started on March 28th. They did not expect a dude in his shorts and t-shirt to come after them like a rabid dog, but I did. They ran of course,  well I am Technically and Tactically Proficient and I went along their most likely possible route of exit and caught them. 3 boys, 19, 16, and 15 just thought it would be funny. When I asked them if it was funny now they all agreed it was not. Tell your children they do not know what is going on behind that door, they do not know what those people have been through or what they are willing to do.  Tell them the worst possible thing they can do is violate someone only safe place when they are on edge. You do not know the struggle behind that door, don’t be the reason it opens. I tracked those young men down and had a deep heart to heart with them and they thanked me when we parted. As I told them let this be a learning lesson, because you don’t know what you don’t know and it can kill you. (Stock photo so you will look at the post, you window lickers.)
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newyorktown · 5 years
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Another doorbell licker has been caught on camera https://nyp.st/2SPlseE
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freshpicknews · 5 years
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In Florida, another doorbell licker's spotted on camera http://bit.ly/2SBGPRr
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