#Mauitime Columns
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Sign Language: Time to keep it real, Sagittarius
Sign Language: Time to keep it real, Sagittarius
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Do ends justify means? What happens when you discover something someone did, after the fact? You’re more or less pleased with how things ended up, so is it worth getting worked up over exactly how it happened? The unsavory methods used to get to this place are over and done with, so can much good come from dredging them up and rehashing them? Whether or not you can…
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Sign Language: Chill, Aquarius Taurus (April 20-May 20) It’s said that you can never go home again. Obviously, unless your hometown was destroyed in a fire, you can go home again.
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Eh Brah! That's trash!
Eh Brah! That’s trash!
Our beaches are beautiful and sacred places. And I’m always happy to see people helping to keep them clean. But there is a common error: fruit peels and seeds! People think they can just leave them because they are biodegradable. But on the beach it’s just garbage. Would you leave them around your lawn or around your pool? And it takes banana and orange peels SIX months to TWO years to…
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Eh Brah! Thanks for the help! So I was buying lumber for the fourth deck replacement on my house, sweating and grunting to load the needed 2x6 lumber.
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NOTW: Sneaking in a snake, a talented homeless man, and how many avocados does it take for millennial night FEETED AND DANGEROUS Infamous South Beach street artist Jonathan Crenshaw, 46, attracts a lot of attention in Miami among tourists, who watch him paint on a canvas – using his feet.
#feeted and dangerous#helium#Mauitime Columns#millennials#News of the Weird#scissors#the editors at andrews mcmeel
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Eh Brah! Thanks for the kisser!
Eh Brah! Thanks for the kisser!
To the lady at Target with the tiny dog. You were checking out yogurts. I asked if I could say hi to your dog and without skipping a beat, you picked him up in his little bow-tied shirt and put him in my arms. “Say hi to Auntie,” you said. “He’s a kisser.” I just had a really crappy day, and that’s the kind of stuff we need to feel better. Thank you! I was almost in tears walking away – good…
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News of the Weird: A serial doorbell licker, inexplicable bologna, PokeWeddings, and more
News of the Weird: A serial doorbell licker, inexplicable bologna, PokeWeddings, and more
PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US
Asparagus is healthy and delicious. But for 63-year-old Jemima Packington of Bath, England, the columnar vegetable is much more: Packington is an asparamancer, a person who can foretell the future by tossing the spears into the air and seeing how they land. “When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns, and it is the patterns I interpret,” Packington said. “I am…
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#doorbell licker#inexplicable bologna#Mauitime Columns#News of the Weird#notw#poke wedding#tasty doorbells#the editors at andrews mcmeel
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News of the Weird: A man outsmarts himself, a modern-day duel, and a clever "smuggler"
News of the Weird: A man outsmarts himself, a modern-day duel, and a clever “smuggler”
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
Kentarias Gowans, 20, of Flowery Branch, Georgia, came up with a novel way of celebrating Thanksgiving. He was scheduled to work at the Steak ‘n’ Shake in Oakwood that day, but called in “intoxicated” and said he wouldn’t be in. But around 10pm that evening, Gowans arrived at the restaurant with a handgun, which he held to another employee’s head while demanding money,…
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Eh Brah! Thanks, but...
Eh Brah! Thanks, but…
Illustration by Ron Pitts
Eh, my fellow office workers! I know you love your coworkers and want to express your aloha by bringing delicious treats to share with everyone but please don’t try to force them on me. Just because I’m fat it doesn’t mean I want to get fatter and sicker by eating donuts, cookies, brownies, cake, or your late wife’s special cheesecake recipe. While I appreciate the…
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Eh Brah! Rethink your actions or karma will come...
Eh Brah! Rethink your actions or karma will come…
Illustration by Ron Pitts
It sure took the aloha spirit out of my sails when I came out from a hike at the Bamboo Forest to see my side window smashed in. Seeing as I drive an Outback you knew I wasn’t a tourist, and the car seat in the back showed me to be a parent (a single father at that). You took only a shiny waist pack that had my 8-year-old daughter’s fake phone and doll “make up” kit.…
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News of the Weird: A special hotel deal for exhibitionists, perks of a deep belly button, and more
News of the Weird: A special hotel deal for exhibitionists, perks of a deep belly button, and more
CURIOUS TRADITION
Animal Help Now, a group that assists in “animal emergencies,” has gathered almost 160,000 signatures on a petition to repeal legislation allowing “Possum Drops” in North Carolina. In a number of communities in the state, the custom of putting an opossum in a transparent box, suspending it in the air and then slowly lowering it to the ground is a feature of New Year’s Eve…
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Sign Language: Skip the wish list, Pisces
Sign Language: Skip the wish list, Pisces
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
If you’re not careful, your efforts to help someone can actually hurt them by making them essentially helpless, or worse, a parasite. It’s a noble thing to offer a hand when someone’s suffering, but be careful not to cross a line, effectively denying them the opportunity to be independent. Your admirable intentions should always take note of the long-term view. Where…
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#Astrology#Caeriel Crestin#caerielcrestin#Horoscope#Mauitime Columns#Sign Language#signlanguage#wish list
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Eh Brah! Sup gramps...
Eh Brah! Sup gramps…
Sup grandpa? Perhaps you shouldn’t drive yourself to shop at Costco anymore as it seems old age has crept up on you so much that you can’t be bothered to check both ways to make sure it’s clear and safe enough to exit. I assume that’s the reason, because that’s the only thing in my mind that explains why you pulled out onto the main road, causing me to slam on my brakes to avoid t-boning you…
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Eh Brah! You wouldn't do that to your mama!
Eh Brah! You wouldn’t do that to your mama!
Illustration by Ron Pitts
Nothing irritates me more than those who think Mother Earth is a giant ashtray or trash can! Maui is such a beautiful place to enjoy nature and unfortunately is littered by irresponsible two-leggeds. I’m sure these people wouldn’t put butts out on their own Mama’s lap…
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Sign Language: Your compassion is a strength, Pisces
Sign Language: Your compassion is a strength, Pisces
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You’ve set the ball in motion for a change, and of course you’re terrified. However, I admire your courage, proceeding despite your fears. Since you can’t know what will happen next, it’s brave of you to go ahead anyway. Just trust your gut. It’s served you well in the past, and things have generally always more or less worked out before. They will again – though, as…
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News of the Weird: Patriotic space duty, joyriding a shopping cart, and more
News of the Weird: Patriotic space duty, joyriding a shopping cart, and more
CREME DE LA WEIRD
Doctors at Westmead Hospital in Sydney, Australia, documented a case in the British Medical Journal’s Case Reports that has at least one nose out of joint. A 48-year-old former prison inmate had been suffering from sinus infections, nasal congestion, and headaches for years, United Press International reported. Doctors treating the man performed a CT scan and discovered a…
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