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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years

Text

my little secret - part 1

MASTERLIST

(hello i just wanna make one thing very clear: i do not i REPEAT i do NOT CONDONE CHEATING WHATSOEVER. FOR ANY REASON. IDC WHAT IT IS. ITS NOT CUTE OR ROMANTIC. ITS HORRIBLE. I ONLY WROTE THIS BECAUSE ITS ANGST AND BECAUSE SOMEONE SUBMITTED IT TO ME. I AM AGAINST CHEATING. just had to make that clear lol. i feel like this isn’t my best work, but ive had writers block rlly bad so IM SORRY OKAY i feel like its rlly rushed so i apologize dont h8 me. i switched up the plot just a bit also)

Word Count: 2,517

WARNING: age gap (23 and 70), smut, cheating, breeding kink

“You never listen to me!”

“I always listen to you! You just never make yourself clear!”

“Never make myself clear!? You just don’t care!”

“You’re such a stubborn pain in my ass!”

“You’re always a pain in my ass, Ben! It’s always about you!”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, fuck off!”

You and Ben had gotten into a huge dispute over god-knows-what. The argument goes from calm, moderate voices to ear deafening screams that you know your neighbors can hear. The two of you had been arguing more than ever lately, but it’s never gotten this bad. Ben’s never told you to fuck off before and you never thought he would. You freeze when the word’s slip from his mouth and the look on his face drops when he realizes what he’s just said.

“I didn’t mean that.” he says fast.

You feel your eyes sting from tears that threatened to spill and they finally do. Your chin’s trembling as you turn around and storm towards your bedroom. You hear Ben behind you as he quickly follows.

“Baby, I didn’t mean that! I’m sorry, okay? I was just upset- What are you doing?”

You had grabbed a duffel bag from the top of your closet and are shoving clothes inside of it. You zip it up quickly and grab your purse and keys.

“I’m doing exactly what you told me to do. I’m fucking off.”

Ben's eyes crinkle as he closes them out of frustration. He rakes a hand through his hair as he follows you towards your front door.

“I didn’t mean that, y/n! Don’t go! Let’s just talk, babe. I’m sorry.”

You turn around fast as you slide your phone in your pocket. Your eyebrows are knitted together as you stare at him with fire in your eyes.

“You’re always sorry, Ben!” you say loudly.

His face falls as he stares at you with cloudy eyes.

“I’m going to my moms.” you say before slamming the door in his face.

You don’t stop walking until you’re in your car and driving down the road. You can’t go to your moms. It’s two in the morning and she has to be at work at six. You couldn’t wake her up. You pull over on the side of the road and scream loudly as you punch the steering wheel. You were angry at everything and everyone, especially Ben. You slam your fists into the steering wheel a few more times and stop out of breath. You lean back against your seat and take in a deep breath. You need a drink and you know just the place to go to.

***

You pull up to your favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar that’s open 24/7. It’s tiny, but packed. You’re best friend is the owner of the place so you know you can get a good seat in the front. You hurry out of your car and inside. Smoke fills the place as loud heavy metal blares everywhere. You make your way to the front and spot an open seat. You quickly fill it and spot your best friend Cassie. She walks up with a sad smile on her face as she realizes the look on yours.

“Ben?” she asks.

You just nod as she pours you a shot and slides it in front of you. You gulp it down fast as another is placed before you.

“He told me to fuck off.” you tell her as you swallow the drink fast.

She pours you another as her face goes shocked.

“What!?”

“But, of course he didn’t mean it and he was sorry.”

You drink it down as you hear someone yelling Cassie’s name.

“Here,” she says getting you another drink. “Let me go deal with this and we’ll finish this conversation, okay?”

She walks away and you’re left alone with your sorrows. You’re staring down at your now empty glass as someone speaks up.

“Men are idiots sometimes.”

You look over and spot an almost too familiar face. He has a drink in his hand with a smile on his face. He was older than you, much older actually, but man, was he good looking. You spin your chair to face him all the way.

“Sometimes?” you ask, smirking.

He laughs and slowly nods his head.

“Oh, alright. All the time.”

You laugh and look at him for a second longer before squinting your eyes and cocking your head.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” you ask, suddenly feeling the drinks starting to kick in.

The man laughs once more and shrugs his shoulders.

“Possibly. I’m Roger.” he says as he holds out his hand for you to shake.

Your face falls as your eyes go wide.

“Oh my god,” you whisper as you lean in to him. “I know you! I know you, I just don’t know where from! Hold on, don’t tell me...”

You lean back and look at him up and down, trying to figure it out. Now your drinks were really kicking in.

“You’re a musician.” you state.

He nods his head as he gulped the rest of the dark liquid in his glass.

“You’re a musician and your names Rog-” you pause when it finally clicks. “You’re the drummer from Queen!” you say a little too loudly as you slur.

Roger’s eyes go wide as he puts his finger to his mouth to shush you. You laugh and look around as you cover your mouth.

“I knew I knew you from somewhere! My boyfriend loves your band!”

“Same boyfriend that told you to fuck off?” he asks, leaning in closer for you to hear.

You suddenly remember and frown. You nod your head and wave over another bartender. You order another shot.

“Make it two.” says Roger, looking at you. “And they’re on me.”

You smile to him and feel your face turning hot.

“So, Mr. Famous Drummer,” you say, causing him to look down and laugh. “What’s your excuse for being here all alone? You clearly know mine.”

“Needed some alone time for myself, I suppose. Never been to this place before, but apparently it attracts good people.”

He smiles to you and for the first time in a long time, Ben wasn’t the one on your mind. Roger was.

“And if I might add,” he says leaning in close to you. “You should try being with an actual man one day. Not a little boy.”

Your eyes drunkenly flutter as you slowly bring your hand to Roger’s knee and very slowly run it up his thigh. He tenses up at your touch, but his eyes are dark with lust. A slight smirk appears as he looks down at your hand for a moment before back up at you.

“Maybe I will.” you purr.

And before you know it, you and Roger are in the back of his car as his driver takes you across town. Your mouths are clashing as you breathe heavily, your mind foggy. You can’t keep your hands off of each other the whole night.

***

RINGRING RINGRING

Your head is pounding as the sound of your phone blares near your ear. You squeeze your eyes closed as you squirm around and groan. You flutter them open and squint due to the bright sun beaming through the room. You bring your hand up and rub your eyes, hoping to make the blurriness disappear. You’re in mid yawn when what happened last night hits you. Your eyes shoot open as you sit up fast.

You’re in a hotel room with your clothes scattered everywhere all around you. You bring the bed sheet up and cover yourself as you look beside you. There next to you is Roger. He’s on his back and is starting to move around a bit. You should feel guilty. You should feel horrible for what you did, but you don’t. All you can do is smile as Roger’s eyes open and he looks over to you. He sheepishly grins as he rubs his eyes.

“You’re still here.” he says as he yawns.

Your face falls as he says that. You look away fast and jump up from the bed as you gather your clothes.

“Was just leaving.” you spat as you slip your jeans on and then your top.

Roger notices your change of tone and sits up fast.

“Wait!” he says fast. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just surprised you stayed. I don’t want you to go.”

You turn around and he has the most sincere look on his face. You let out a breath you were holding and smile as you walk back over to him.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m just on edge right now.”

Roger smirks as he grabs your arm and pulls you back onto the bed. You laugh as you lay on your back and look up at him.

“Then let me help you with that.” he whispers as his hand trails over your stomach and slips under your pants.

You bite your lip as your phone begins ringing again. You roll your eyes and grab it. Twenty two missed calls from Ben. You frown a bit, but turn it off completely. You look back to Roger and smile.

“I could use all the help I can get.” you purr.

***

You quietly slip your keys into your front door and open it gently. You walk inside and look around, not seeing any sign of Ben. You had left Roger’s hotel with a promise that the two of you would see each other again very soon. He’s staying in town for a while for a ‘top secret’ project he’s working on. He wasn’t allowed to tell you, but that’s okay. You like surprises.

You close the door behind you and hear footsteps getting closer. Ben appears in front of you in the hallway. He freezes when he sees you. He slowly walks closer to you until he’s inches away. He cups your face with his hand and leans in to gently kiss you.

“I really am sorry.” he whispers.

You swallow hard and force yourself to smile back.

“I know.” you whisper back.

Ben smiles widely and bites his bottom lip.

“I have amazing news.” he says fast.

You laugh at his wild expression as he takes a step back.

“What is it?”

“I got a role for a movie! I drive out to the location tomorrow for fitting and all that fun stuff!”

He looks like a kid on Christmas morning. You couldn't help but celebrate with him.

“Ben! That’s amazing! What movie is it?”

“I can’t actually say anything to anyone, babe. They’re wanting it to be under the radar for a bit. But I promise that when I can, I’ll send you over the second I’m allowed to. Okay? I just can’t believe this is happening. This is huge!” he yells.

You laugh and can’t help but bring him in for a kiss, but the whole time you’re kissing, all you can think about is Roger.

***

4 Months Later

***

“Right there!” you squeal as Roger thrusts into you hard.

You’re whining loudly as he kisses and sucks on your neck.

“Roger!” you whine, feeling yourself starting to release.

“I wanna cum in you.” whispers Roger in your ear.

Him saying that makes you hit your high even faster. You squeeze your eyes closed and scream out as you grip his arm tightly. Your body convulses as pleasure fills every cell in your body.

“Yes!” is all you can repeatedly shout.

Roger lets out a low growl as he thrusts once more and pauses, his body jolting forward. You feel him release all inside of you and it makes you whine even louder. He jerks once more and he’s done. You both are breathing fast and hard as he rests his forehead on your shoulder. You smile to yourself as you close your eyes.

“Amazing.” you whisper.

Roger leans away and kisses you.

“Like always.”

He slips out and falls beside you utterly exhausted.

“I have to leave in a second.” you whisper sadly.

“No, stay with me.”

You look over to him and smile.

“I’m just gonna be right outside of town for a bit. You can always come see me. I’ll have my own room.” you tease.

“I’ll take you up on that offer, love.” he mumbles.

***

“I’m almost there. Where am I meeting you again?”

“I told the driver where to go, don’t worry.” Ben teases. “Let’s see if you’ll recognize me.”

“Recognize you? Why? What did they do to you?” you ask worried.

He laughs in the phone and shakes his head.

“Wait, I think I see you! We’re all outside!” he says fast.

Suddenly the phone goes dead. You look up and out the window. A bunch of people are standing in front of a huge building. You’re beyond nervous as you pull up and the car stops. You jump out and make your way towards them. A man with long blonde hair is staring at you with a huge smile on his face. You squint your eyes as he walks even closer.

“Ben!?” you call out.

He nods his head and laughs as he wraps his arms around you and squeezes. You lean away and your eyes are wide as you gently touch the wig he’s wearing.

“Wow.” you whisper.

“Looks good, yeah?” he teases. “You know who I am?” he asks, backing up so you can see him fully.

“Um, someone from the 70’s?” you ask.

“Alright, good! But who do you think it is?”

You’re thinking for a moment as Ben looks behind you and smiles.

“Ah, the man himself!”

You turn around confused and your face falls. So does his. It’s Roger.

“Roger, this is my girl, y/n. Y/n, this is the Roger Taylor.”

The two of you stare at each other as your eyes are wide. You felt almost sick. You realize how this must look to Ben, so you snap out of it. You shake your head and bring your hand up to him.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Taylor.” you say fast.

Roger shakes your hand and forces a smile.

“Please, call me Roger.”

You smile and look away as you take a step back towards Ben.

“Rog, the reservations are all set for tonight.”

You look to your left as a beautiful older blonde walks up and kisses Roger. He wraps an arm around her waist and looks to you. He looks embarrassed as he smiles.

“Sarina, this is Ben’s girlfriend, y/n.” he says, almost gagging at the word girlfriend. “Y/n, this is my wife... Sarina.”

“Your wife.” you say a little too bluntly, causing him to look at you with a worried expression.

You smile widely and reach your hand out to her.

“It’s so nice to meet you.”

“You as well!” she says sweetly. “Will you be joining us for dinner?” she asks.

You go to tell her no, but Roger speaks up.

“Of course she will.” he says fast.

Yeah, you think to yourself. Of course I will.

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sorikkung · 6 years

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You did an intro to got7 a while ago could you maybe do one for A.C.E.??? They seem like a good group but I'm clueless atm so it would be v helpful!!!

lololol i did an intro to mark from got7 but not got7 as a whole, but yes ofc i will i love my talented bois and i love rambling about them heRE WE G O

an introduction to a.c.e, for dummies (jk ily choice is a great fandom pls join us)

also this is gonna get rlly long so im gonna put it under a cut

A.C.E is a 5-member boygroup under beat interactive!! which is a p small company atm so my boys dont exactly have the high quality living and practice areas and food that they deserve :(( THEYLL GET THERE THO IM SURE OF IT THEYRE LEGENDS

here’s their youtube channel with aaaaall sorts of goodies

i started stanning a.c.e predebut, bc they had a lot of content for a group that hadn’t debuted yet, and it was enough to snatch my attention real quick so you should check that shit out, they did a shitton of AMAZING covers and to get their name out there more, street buskings its a lot but i swear its worth your time theyre so talented!!

also they have matching tracksuits what more could you ask for tbh (as you can see from that vid, they’re literally so fucking extra)

a few of my favs are

this rlly long busking video w girl group songs and just a bit of everything tbh,

THIS amazing remix/cover of kard’s don’t recall by the rap line + this one cute girl,

only THE most iconic playing w fire cover, band version, (I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT THAT VIDEO HONESTLY I COULD MAKE A POST ON THAT COVER ALONE ISTG)

their flashlight cover that is enough to make a grown man cry omfuckigngOD it makes me feel things hjskskkh

that ONE TAKE dance cover they did of 3 of taeyangs songs, all focusing on a different member of the dance line

im gonna stop here before i link every damn cover they made

okay so now that thats covered (bad-um-tss) time for…DEBUT

THIs beauty right here is their debut song cactus, which has this really deep meaning to it. bc they came from a small company so they have to work extra hard to even be able to debut let alone be successful and they’re like a cactus bc cacti grow in the desert where there’s very little water but they still manage to stand strong even through the hardest of weather an environment conditions and eventually sprout beautiful flowers,, buuuuuut its also a meme for obvious reasons.

tbh debut era choice culture was just listening to cactus on repeat for days bc it was their only song at the time skjslaas not much has changed tbh LMAO but yes theyre a very edm loving group so their DANCE SKILLS ARE ON POINT SERIOUSLY IVE SEEN FEW GROUPS AS AMAZING AT DANCING AS ACE WOWOW

oh yeah did i mention that their fandom name is choice and that choice are literally the softest fandom my multifandom ass has e v e r been in?? theres literally no cringy or toxic side of the fandom its just so soft and welcoming and pure and everyone is so nice and sweet and friendly and just??? wow i love choice a lot hjkskjsshkhk choice are also SUPER talented too stan talent stan choice

speaking of cringe ace is that group that just like skipped the entire “rlly cringy boygroup debut phase” completely like no weird debut haircuts or outfits or weird lyrics about girls, well actually thats all kinda objective but like they made those outfits work ok and im a cactus isnt that weird of a lyric if you know the deep meaning behind it

aS yOu CaN sEe, cactus era was the era of the tHIGHS and the hot pants. it was literally so iconic it blew up and with great reason too, have you seen those thighs?? AND THEY KNOW IT TOO they even mentioned they chose the hot pants as their style concept and took better care of their legs than their faces. true kings. heres a video of a.c.e talking about the whole hot pants thing and just their legs in general its some quality shit. and heres a video where they decide to show off just how great their thighs are bc they like to kill choices like that, this video is important and iconic bc its where the wowson ship began and also when they declared who the king of thighs were amongst the kings of thighs. definitely a necessary watch for new choice imo. donghun lowkey grinds on the floor at 4:04, you’ve been warned. honestly that video just gets progressively gayer lmao i love it

also for us international choice they made an ENGLISH cover of cactus CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I LOVE THEM SM they didnt have to but they did and oml stan a group who stans you back this hard their english aint that great but theyre trying and i appreciate it so much theyre so amazing look

five months later they dropped their second single, callin’, and b o y was this a stressful comeback, beat had us FOOLEd,, i genuinely thought it was gonna be a flowerboy soft concept yknow with like some sweet lowkey ballad or soft pop song, but nOOooOOOooo, MORE HARDSTYLE EDM not that im complaining callin is a bop but i was TRICKED

LOOK AT THIS SHIT ITS ALL AESTHETIC AND THE CLIP OF THE SONG WAS ALL SOFT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING SMTH SOFT im sorry im still salty that beat tricked me but ITS FINE bc callin is a HELLA BOP like i honestly didnt expect them to top cactus so quickly bc like cactus was hella but they DID and its amazing and heres the link be blessed (warning, these gifs above make it look like a soft vid but there are LOTS of flashing colours and lights and its really intense on the eyes if youre not comfortable with that dont watch, just listen)

they also supplied multiple dance pracs you can find on their channel for callin bc ace feeds us well, although callin had a reaaaally short promotion period bc right after they got thrown onto survival shows for more publicity, but hey, its working!! choice is growing bigger every day and im so proud

donghun, wow and jason all went on yg’s show mixnine, and jun and chan went on the idol rebooting show, the unit. both teams are doing EXTREMELY well on their respective shows!! but ill talk more about that in their individual member profiles bc they havent been put on the same team for anything yet rip

edit: mixnine finished and donghun and jason made the cut for the final group, sehyoon didn’t :(( so dongson will be promoting with the mixnine group for a lil bit!! also chan made it to the unit debut group but jun didnt. im hoping for a sehyjun subunit pls

that was long af but now im gonna dive into the members individually!! so its probs gonna get twice as long sorrynotsorry i warned you

Jun (Park Junhee)

jun is the so-called fiery leader of ace (also lead dancer and lead vocal) but is honestly just a giant dork and a sweetheart. hes the type of guy who you scream at for being dumb and call him an idiot but thats your weird way of expressing your undying love for him?? ask literally any jun stan, they’ll say they hate him. hate him for being so PERFECT like a fucking DISNEY PRINCE he’s the designated prince of the group you know theres always that one member and hes just so LOVEABLE and stupid and skjdakhkjs he fuckign dropped his cake on his birthday when do your faves ever. dad of the group, probably lost the maknaes in the shopping mall about 3 times already. talks a lot, hates aegyo, his members might be planning on sacrificing him to satan? he does on idol class with chan every…i think its wednesday and fans vote who gets punishments n stuff and jun loses every damn time i think hes losing his faith in choice lmao. #saveleaderjun

he’s kinda married to donghun, they’re the parents of ace but donghun might try murder him in his sleep idk man, but now hes on the unit with chan and theyre all cute and you can literally ship everyone with everyone in this group

he has HELLA charisma on stage tho oh my gOd also he has one of the most unique singing voices ive ever heard so its really easy to single out, his face also is the first i learned to tell apart?? he has rlly high cheekbones and a wide but thin smile.

this is actually an ot5 video not just jun but jun’s reaction was by far the most iconic so i have to put it in his section, get you a fave who can FLY lmaooo

it would be CRIMINAL if i didnt solo out jun’s ringa linga cover, thE MOST ICONIC JUN COVER EVER HJFKDSJKFDSJK if i ever stop talking about this assume im dead bc IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT jun in a leather jacket looking all rude and staring at the camera like that im WEAK, SO WEAK, AAAAAAAAHHHH

[ahem] MOVING ON

Donghun (Lee Donghun)

donghun, sometimes romanised as donghoon and often referred to by choice as hun or hoon, is the oldest member of the group and another total sweetheart, honestly ace is just a group of sweethearts, he cares for his members so damn much and is super soft?? but ALSO A s Av Age he’s on mixnine with sehyoon and jason and he SHOT DOWN YG, once again I C O N I C, yg was at a loss for words, heres more receipts of him being savage, i love my sassy boyfriend. BUT HES ALSO A SWEET NOODLE HJKSHJKS oH and did you know that before he joined a.c.e he had no experience in dancing whatsoever and in a year and a half, he caught up with the other four members that have been dancing since they were kids?? I STAN TALENT YALL you’d literally never be able to guess that bc all of them are like on an equal dance level its insane

also he used to have braces during cactus era and it was the softest shit

[cOUGHS] so like did someone say disrespect,,, bc he can do that too,,,,, aAAAAAAAH the duality of this man istg

he’s the main vocalist and has vO C AL S OF AN A N GEL, he has so much soul and emotion in his voice, and has adlibs for days oh my god, he also has the MOST BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO i’ve ever heard, fight me, actually come at me. his voice works REALLY well with chan so they pair him up with him for quite a handful of covers like the all of me one i linked (one of my favs omfg it makes me emo) cause like, his soulful voice plus chan’s higher, sweet voice just sounds so great together i love our main vocals wow.

sPEAKING OF WOW,

Wow (Kim Sehyoon)

his stage name is wow, but its hard to take seriously so the fandom just calls him sehyoon lmfao. it used to be seyoon but when he went on mixnine, he revealed sehyoon was the official romanization so here we are lmao. even if your bias isn’t sehyoon…it’s sehyoon. he’s just that guy ya feel me?? anyways sehyoon is a relatively quiet and reserved guy, but his members really pull out the dork in him, i love it so much?? he doesn’t talk much but when he does all of a.c.e directs their full attention to him to listen, its really sweet, hes pretty awkward with people but you can tell he just feels so safe and comfortable with ace it honestly warms my heart. he’s the main rapper and main dancer, but!! our multitalented man is also a vocalist. yes, you heard, me, the main rapper can sing, and really well at that. (if you scroll up back to the flashlight and dont recall covers, you can see more of his voice.)

gets the least lines, but not by much. although hearing his singing voice in their actual songs has happened like with 2 lines?? so idk man im just waiting for their ballad song that theyre apparently doing for their third song, god im so ready. i love his voice a lot, damn.

he’s also like reeeeeeeeeally gay for jason…the entire fandom ships it and they even ship it themselves. wowson, the otp of ace, they honestly just cant keep their hands off eachother??? i know a friend who struggled to tell apart jun and jason so she just looked at who sehyoon was standing next to and instantly knew it was jason. THEYRE SO CLINGY. i love my squishy boyfriends.

OHHH BOY…i really could’ve used an even more disrespectful gif than this but that would ruin the surprise of watching it in the actual video!! as you can see, sehyoon is the K I N G of disrespect on stage, that shy lil fluffle bean you see offstage?? GONE. DISAPPEARED. VANISHED. this is why his stage name is wow, sehyoon disappears and you just go wow. choice has dubbed him king of bodyrolls with great reason, he makes every concept into a sexy concept, he just has that intimidatingly sexy aura to him, its incredible.

now…are you ready….i bet youre not…who am i kidding NOBODY was ready for this shit. on mixnine, sehyoon was picked as leader for one of their stages (i think he was leader for ringa linga too??) and got to choreograph the routine. if you think its already rude 10 seconds in, its all over for you bitches when the lighting goes yellow. i feel the need to repeat, our boy CHOREOGRAPHED THIS. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA. EVERY. SINGLE. PART. this is the same kid who everyone on the show knew as the shy, quiet, handsome boy. but then.

but then he did this.

Jason (Kim Byeongkwan)

jason is his stage name that he chose for himself but his real name is byeongkwan, its another case of an idol having a stage name and nobody calling them by it?? i mean most new choice call him jason and i personally switch between the two but most choice seem to call him byeongkwan or bk if theyre extra lazy lmao. memers call him byonk sometimes.

jason is the weird child of the group and we all love him…he’s the second lil ball of sunshine and part ½ of the maknae line. he’s often found clinging to sehyoon or literally any of the members bc he’s an affectionate son who loves cuddles okay?? p r o t e c t h i m.

he’s also the lead everything. yeah thats really not fair but jason is op ok?? singing, rapping, dancing, visual, like sehyoon he’s the full package, i can hardly call them the rap line they’re just the op line t b h. triple threats.

on their official twt jason likes to confirm wowson a lot, its p great lololol he’s the biggest wowson shipper of all time. want more wowson? i gotchu, here’s one of my absolute fav moments. (ft. junchan/chun)

he has some HELLA CHARISMA on stage like boy can u pls chill. they also love doing his eye makeup with that red makeup and it looks rlly good bc bk has such pretty eagle eyes and its his Look™ and that along with his onstage persona is a DEADLY COMBINATION HDSJKSKSLKJS

i’m just gonna keep this short; even if your bias isnt byeongkwan, your bias is byeongkwan. he has that affect on everybody. number one bias wrecker out of the fandom t b h apart from sehyoon (he cant be my bias wrecker if he is my bias so im safe :^J)

Chan (Kang Yuchan)

INTRODUCING OUR CHANSHINE, MAIN VOCAL OF ACE, CUTIE MAKNAE CHAN!!!! he always introduces himself as a.c.e’s main vocal cutie maknae chan, its his iconic line and it suits him so well like LOOK AT HIM ISNT HE JUST A FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE WHAT A PURE CHILD I MUST PROTECC he’s literally the happy virus y’all AND ACE KNOWS IT TOO heres this one time where donghun even said that looking at chan cheers him up. certified sunshines only, everyone. also watch that whole video its long but its worth your time.

anyways our boy is a main vocal and as mentioned in donghun’s part they harmonize!!! so!! well!! i mean tbh all of ace can harmonize with eachother its the most beautfiul thing but these two are main vocal for a reason okay. if you didn’t already watch it in donghun’s part listen to THIS and have your ears be blessed i cry everytime oh my god skdfhd ALSO THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET i want to cry i lvoe chans voice so much i love chan i love kang yuchan og hmylhdg sodf i was gonna say i swear im sehyoon biased but im not istg ace is bias wrecking me 24/7 its been the hardest group to pick a bias in ever im not kidding i cant even

also known as kang RUDE, chan was all innocent sunshine and daisies until out of the blue he decided to give the disrespect king sehyoon a run for his fucking money. NOBODY FUCKING SAW IT COMING WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS SO PURE AND THEN HE SUDDENLY STARTED FLASHING HIS ABS EVERYWHERE AND GRINDING ON THE FLOOR AND DOING THAT AND WE JUST CANT HANDLE IT i dont know a kang yuchan please save me oh my lord

okay this already has an ungodly amount of links and honestly i could go on, but this should be a good enough kickstart for you!!

stan talent stan a.c.e everyone. welcome to the choice family. its literally the softest and sweetest fandom out there. we welcome you with open arms and lots of cacti!!!

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gothjjk · 6 years

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how are you dealing with jjong passing away are you doing alright? 😥💗

ty for your concern!! i am doing better than when i first heard about it but im still not 100% okay, nd dont think i’ll ever be, i hope ur doing ok tho !!!! 💕

also u can ignore whats under the keep reading part i just need a place to write about how ive been dealing with it all just so that i can keep it somewhere for myself its boring nd long nd not worth reading

i remember opening tumblr after coming home from work and seeing a few sad posts/edits about shinee but i was scrolling pretty fast nd not reading through posts properly and the first thought i had was that shinee had disbanded (which, looking back, i now hope that was actually the case instead of what happened) so i clicked on a mutuals blog to find out what the fuss was about and i saw an ask saying what happened? and they answered that jonghyun passed away and i. didnt believe it i didnt want to believe it it hadnt been confirmed yet by sm at that time so i was like okay this is fake he is alive and safe but after a few minutes the news about him passing away turned out to be true yet i still didnt fully believe it i started crying so hard i was hyperventilating and all i didnt know what to do i dont think i even remember what i did after that i was just full on in a hysteric crying mode i went through tumblr some more hoping thatd help calm me down but seeing all those posts about him talking about how he’s gone made it all worse i just closed my laptop turned off all the lights and started listening to all the shinee songs on my phone and every time i heard jjong’s voice my tears woudlnt stop coming i think i cried for two hours more after that and stopped, i didnt eat dinner i had no appetite at all my head felt like it was going to burst and i actually really wanted to kill myself i didnt want to be alive any more i didnt want to live when he wasnt either it was a really bad night for mei just took some sleeping pills and hoped for the best. the next morning that i woke up my eyes were so fucking swollen i looked so bad had the worst headache and had to go to work which i was looking forward to a bit cuz i thought it would take my mind off of this all especially since i had to work for 8 hours three days straight and i gotta say working did help distract me even though i was feeling dead inside it did help a bit to not actively think about him and destroy myself even more i also had to work at the asscrack of dawn and i could still see the stars when i was walking to work i started tearing up staring at them thinking about jjong again i will think of him every time i look up at the nightsky now. that day i also couldnt listen to any shinee songs anymore when tell me what to do came on shuffle i got so fucking mad even though thats my favourite song of theirs i skipped it and put on another song i really could not deal with it its a wonder i didnt burst out crying at work tbh i also had the worst migraines this whole week and felt sick and nauseous all the time this really took its toll on me i’m exhausted. i also took a break from tumblr, actually i was tempted to delete my acc since i couldnt get myself to think i would ever be able to post happy things again but idk, anyways that didnt help immensely i think tiring myself out by working a lot helped i also saw my friend whom i hadnt seen in like 2 months today we hung out and chilled and it was rlly nice being with him so that distracted me as well also i started istening to jjong’s songs and his voice has been very healing and soothing i feel like he’s still here with us i think i still dont want to believe that he’s actually gone like when i watch videos and see him have fun in them or when i see pictures of him or when i hear his voice and laugh it really doesnt sink in that he’s not here anymore when i can experience his presence like that i dont think he will ever fully be gone from this world he still lives on especially in all of our hearts and i think coming to terms with that is important this is also the first time that someone i love passed away so i didnt know how to deal with it at all especially since i love jjong so fucking much he was and still is so important to me i wanna thank him for everything that he has done i still feel bad knwoing that he had to suffer and that i couldnt do anything for him but i think just as we dont want him to suffer he doesnt want us to suffer as well so as hard as it may be we should live our lives in thebest way we can and show him how much he meant to us i willnever forget about him and my heart will always feel heavy because of what happened but i think the love i have for him is stronger than the sadness i feel and thats realy important or maybe i’m just bullshitting but thats okay too i think if i killed myself here right now he wouldnt have wanted that not that he knows me or cares about me specifically or anything but im sure he didnt want to cause this much sadness and hurt and as much as i would like tp say that he’s happy now and that he’s watching over us in heaven i dont believe in the afterlife so i wont say that but i do believe that he’s watching over us his energy is still present in the world and i do like that thought hes still here with us he still loves us and we still love him so jjong, i thank you, i miss you and i love you from the bottom of my heart.

#suicide mention #asks

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