#doing the most recent ones because theyre the most recent
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Hello!
I recently read your shifter!reader and i wonder if you could do something like the wolf walkers movie? Please? Like reader shifting in to a big wolf when they're sleeping and theyr body is there but theyr soul become a physical wolf
Masterlist
idk why but i can't tag anyone rn? tf? anyhoo no taglist
Rare
Rare. That's the word they described you with; your name synonymous with it. By being a dire wolf shifter, you are part of the small group within the already small amount of shifters in the world; the shifters that could turn into extinct creatures.
Rare. Like your favourite painting. An art nerd you shall forever stay, especially with your recently obtained degree in Art History, gazing upon the intricate colours and strokes, perfectly placed and perfectly designed. It tells a story that you can only hear if you strain your ears.
Rare. There's only one of that painting and it's being displayed, the original copy, in Gotham. Most thieves ignore the paintings in Gotham because these museums usually have alarms that don't call the cops, but something worse. You've just chosen to watch over it because you're broke and can't afford a ticket to the gallery it's important to you and should stay safe.
Rare. Thieves thinking that it'd be funny to try and steal it while a wolf whose head reaches their chests stalks the art exhibit. You sense them far before they notice you, and decide to politely alert them so with a snarl. Their heads whip around and all six of them pull out rifles, beginning to fire.
Rare. The chances of you still being in one piece as you duck behind a stone sculpture, snarling as they damage the statue. Then screams as some of the gunfire lessens. You charge out, teeth bared to defend the masterpieces all around you. Taking one down is easy when his back is turned, and you take down the last one just as fast.
Rare. The chances of three shifters, two well-known 'friends' that often work together as vigilantes Golden and Wraith, and then you. A dire wolf shifter and larger than both. They stare at each other and then back at you.
Rare. That's what a mental link between shifters is, and it's even more strange for them to include a new shifter into their link so quickly.
Wraith: Who are you?
You: I could ask the same.
Golden: You're a dire wolf shifter? Aren't those rare?
You: They are rare.
One of the windows slowly opens as two figures enter the exhibit, sighing at the thieves at your feet (paws?). Then they see you and exchange a glance of disbelief.
"What's this? A dire wolf shifter?" Nightwing asks, patting Golden on the head. You're aware that the two vigilante shifters have a good reputation with the human-form vigilantes, especially the youngest, Robin, who stands beside Nightwing. According to Wraith, he's an animal lover.
"They're quite rare," Robin muses, slowly scratching behind your ear to test the waters.
Rare. That's what you are, and now that's who you are.
#batfam#batfamily x reader#damian wayne x reader#batfamily#dick grayson x reader#shifter reader#shifters
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Surprise! I am going to rant about my own redesign and art! I think this is me mentally preparing for the helluva boss episode next week and praying to god it’s actually good. I’ve also been nursing a bit of a hangover today so forgive me if my wording is a bit more jumbled than usual
Im a big fan of my Angel Dust redesign, but in the general aspect of my art, a lot of my poses are a bit flat. That can be from either posing issues on my end, trouble with facial features, or just some secret third thing, but I think so far Ive been enjoying drawing much more cartoonishly as of recent. That vox canon & headcanon drawing was super super fun to do even though it was supposed to be vivzies style, but I used to have a style with more sharp angles and pointy curves that I honestly kind of miss, I also miss playing with cartoonish proportions!!
My art style may end up changing eventually, but my main pieces will stay in my usual style and my more doodle-y ones will probably be in a more cartoony style like the ones above. While theyre definitely closer to canon and meant to be inspired as such, the difference is that I can draw diverse body types in said artstyle! I also cant lie, Angel’s chest fluff is one of my absolute favourite things to draw and it’s so easy in this style…
About my redesigns though! This is mostly about Angel, but I’m gonna slap this here from DMs with a friend: “Im so pleased with this genuinely im so happy he has his little pedipalps, theyre technically also still his fangs but now he can move them and stuff and :33 typically for male spiders the pedipalps are a reproductive organ but that isnt the case for angel or many other arachnid or insect sinners id say so I think personally most of them have developed pedipalps for primarily other reasons like fangs in Angels case or maybe something similar to cat whiskers for other people”
In my original angel dust redesigns I just couldn’t find a way to draw his fangs in a way that made me happy because I want to keeo the same energy in his face as the original. Big clunky fangs that stick out just didn’t work for him and while they made him look like a spider, he lost that sort of angel-ness that I need when drawing him so I instead looks to the pedipalp aspect of spiders to move them off of his mouth and more onto his cheeks. It’s a very small change but it improved the design in my eyes significantly and just really made me a lot happier. I wont be updating his redesign post as of right now and maybe never will, but if I do yknow why now!
I just really really like drawing this guy a bit rubbery, hes supposed to be fluffy so like he should move kinda soft in a way? I dunno how to explain it rn, its 2 AM at the time of writing this so im gonna lay the hell down now!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#angel dust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin angel#anti vivziepop#angel dust hazbin#angel dust hazbin hotel#angel dust redesign#hazbin redesign#hazbin hotel redesign#my art#will add alt text later
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Kinda want to see if Ace Combat × Armored Core can be a thing.
#just mechs duking it out with fighter jets#ace combat#ac6#ac7#armored core#armored core 6#ace combat 7#doing the most recent ones because theyre the most recent#listen bandai namco works closely with from soft its honestly not super far fetched#from software#bandai namco
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Ch. 427
Shin Yoosung pulling out premature grey hair on my head tackled the boy immediately.
I can't believe I forgot about kdj's premature grey hairs. Post epilogue dokjoong bald4bald
#leon rereads orv#orv spoilers#did he always have the grey hairs or was that the result of. of you know. i dont think i can even list it all#the last time he died was when he went to the demon realm soooo hes gotten electrocuted a couple times‚ fought several hard battles#almost died many times‚ uhh most recently there was the bfndnsnx#i was gonna say the battle with the apocalypse dragon and defending against its tail flick but like thats not even the most recent thing#the most recent thing was being bullied by the outer gods in N'Gai's Forest#which was more stressful enduring the torment of outer gods or being surrounded by small yjhs because only one of those things made#him pass out#do you think subconsiously he felt it was safe to pass out in front of the kkomas because theyre all yjh? because on several occasions he's#struggled really hard and succeeded in not losing consciousness because he felt he was in great danger#like he sorta knew he got kidnapped by the number 1 outer god but in that situation since cjsjfndmw#what am i saying#'he recognized yjh so he felt safe to let the shock of the situation take away his consciousness' how can you be comfortable enough#to pass out#makes no sense#still though...
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#winx club#rus chatters#winx season 5#the posters....of all of them....in their most recent outfits in their rooms....#implying that they made them when they first got back to aflea for some god forsaken reason#the fucking Bloom shelf#the dance table#aren't these supposed to be dorm rooms??? how are they doing that with their beds and shelfs??? you cant install things in a dorm????#Bloom's room is actually a nightmare. but the reference to her love of drawing is cute#Stella's room is probably my favorite because shes the only one who would#they visably gave up with Flora's room...like I'm pretty sure this begun and ended with plant lady#I can at least appreciate the aesthetic of Tecna's room. it looks like a home office and bedroom and i kinda love the vibe#the same person who designed Flora's room designed Musa's room#i can at least appreciate the mix of femme stuff and sporty stuff in Aisha's room. her bed is gorgeous#this would be so much more tolorable if these were theyre own room in their own house but!!!!#OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THE REFRENCES TO THE BAND SUBPLOT. I WILL BREAK THAT KEYTUAR OVER SOMEONE'S FUCKING HEAD#omggg s5 designers. i forgot what everyone's gimmick was. wanna beat me over the head with it in the background design??? thanks!#i am still not. and will never be. over those awful awful posters. i can tell im feeling angry or another negative emotion but by god#Rus liveblogs
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Christopher Nolan making movies: I'm gonna make a film that is so confusing and non-linear
#just watched memento :DDDDD#which i think would be his first bigger movie?#but it was so interesting bcs there were a lot of concepts in it that are so visible in his later films#like watching that after watching almost all of his most recent films was such an 'aha!' moment#lthe whole black&white vs in-color to delineate which part of the story we're in#in memento: black and white is the beginning of the story and then in-color is the rest of the story going backwards#and then he uses that concept again in oppenheimer but b&w is the current events and color is everything leading up to that and after#like yeah its really confusing first time around because you dont know that fully yet but then at the end its like OH!!!!!#and then both also have other stuff interspersed btwn those two sections that you only reallly understand by the end#and then with the plot going backwards. that was the same as tenet right?#like starting with the end of the story and them ending with the beginning of the story#i cant remember inception well enough atm but im sure it has traits of memento as well#his movies are like puzzles ig! like you really have to keep track of all the details and what takes place when#i think theyre really fun bcs more and more becomes clear to you#im not sure what the most confusing nolan movie is hmmmm probably tenet or inception right?#oppenheimer: much more clear in general since its following literal historical events but just in a non linear manner#the only real reason i found it a bit confusing is bcs i didnt know a lot of the characters and also was trying to figure out the timeline#and then interstellar is more just confusing in concept bcs it has to do with time in the 4th dimension and all that#but i think the story is pretty understandable its just hard to wrap your head around the different time/dimension concepts#then again....ive watched it probably more than 4 times by now! ITS ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES EVER#cant say much abt the batman movies bcs they have nolan concepts but arent really like his other stuff#haha someones said he did those movies so he could make absolute bank and then have a blank check to do whatever movies he wants#and someone also said that oppenheimer felt like memento and thats so so so true!!!#its cool that he can make the movies he wants. bcs as i said watching memento really outlines very well what concepts he likes#watching it was weird bcs im like oh yeah this is *so* christopher nolan and then realize this is literally only his second film#i need to rewatch inception and dunkirk and see if i can spot inspo from Memento in them#anyways: yay film!!! yay cinema!!!!!! movies are so fun!!!!!!#catie.rambling.txt
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im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce
#neither of them have done anything wrong and are simply two diff ppl w two diff personalities and two diff thought processes#responding to the same single event . that they didnt deserve to have to respond to but now they just Have To#and both of them regard the other w a sort of desperation around the events of s1 but in a different way#that they respond one way that contradicts how the other does#liam doesnt care what happens to himself but bryce doesnt want to lose everything#its very realistic and very tragic because they were both important for each other but the opposite of what each other wanted at all#bryce wanted to finally heal. from everything. and whether or not ignoring one was a healthy way to do so was irrelevant#he just wanted to finally heal#and liam just. he doesnt care about His Own Life. he just wants to do this One Thing at All Costs. and no one else can help him.#he wants to be known by someone. anyone really. because he cant do any of it alone but its all he knows to do now#and nothing else matters to him#the two are just. theyre so complicated and im emotional abt it#i thinka bt it a lot but i think a good way to put it is#wrt the trolley problem? liam would pull the lever. bryce wouldnt#anyway. that piece os soooo. thinks abt them forever#i think every combination of characters in one is extremely tragic#bc its normal ppl responding to a horrible situation they didnt deserve to be in but now have to respond to#and sometimes they conflict. sometimes they hurt another person when the intent was to help. sometimes its solace in the worst of ones life#but all of them are so. i think abt it a lot liam and bryce are just now the specific ones on my mind cus of my most recent rb
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the snow queen
prev. / pt. 3 / next
(ID below cut)
[ID: part three. We continue from where we left off:
As they continued on their journey, they were visited from above. "Such a cold, cold day to travel, wouldn't you agree? Where are you going?" asked the crow. The Batman looked at the Snow Queen before he answered, "I'm still not quite sure." He looks up at the black crow soaring over their heads before it lands on his shoulder.
The crow hopped excitedly, unable to keep its secret. "I know, I know!" exclaimed the crow. "What you're looking for is up ahead at the Ice Palace. Just wait, just wait," said the crow. "First let me tell you a story. There's a man who would do anything to save the one he loved. But now he is the one who needs saving." Growing impatient, the Batman asked, "Is this who we're looking for?" "Could be, could be. See for yourself," answered the crow. "But you'll never get inside." With the taunted warning, the crow flies away.
Before them towered the palace in all its icy splendor. Giant stalagmite columns rising up to touch the sky. Walls formed by drifted snow and window slats cut from the cold winds. A fortress of impenetrable ice. Their final destination. And well guarded! Batman and The Snow Queen stand outside the magnificent castle before being ambushed by guarding dragons. They fight ferociously against Batman and, despite his bravery and efforts, he is unable to weaken them. The Snow Queen gently lays her hand on his shoulder, making him stop and to ponder.
The Batman grew weary and unable to defeat the monsters before him. But her soft touch caused him pause. She didn't bring him all this way to lose him. There was another way...
He stands with his new icy armor. He carries a giant shield and dons a protective helmet to block the monsters' attacks before throwing the frigid spear at them. The narration continues, When he struck them, the beasts shattered, breaking into a hundred pieces. She could now safely enter the palace with her guest by her side.
END ID]
#love when there's direct parallels between bruce and the villains he stands against#the constant reminder that there is no good people or bad people. just people that are capable of doing either#harvey is the most obvious example of just unfair luck and circumstances. the ache of knowing what could of been instead#and if you believe in fate - what never would had been. doomed from the start instead of spontaneous act of tragedy#but victor is also such a good example of that extremity for love and what happens when its ripped from you.#hated the recent story where they make him abusive and controlling instead because theyre too afraid to make villains sympathetic.#but thats another post for another day lol. anyways i think one of the bats should be allowed to have a pet crow. its dramatic and funny#also a reminder of how the story started with 'a man lost in a storm and another who searched for him'... its bout to come up >:3#c: batman tales: once upon a crime | the snow queen#crypt's panels#batman#transcrypts
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Steddyhands for the ship ask game
thank u !!!!!
Send me a ship and I will grade it:
A: I love it
ha ive actually been having a really interesting conversation with my friend about this specific topic, in that, i dont really ship steddyhands? or thats how i feel about it anyway- i ship each couple individually at the same time, but i dont tend to imagine them doing things i consider couple things all together (i also recognise my stance on that is weird because ill still stick them in the same bed and maintain thats not couple activity) specifically the appeal of steddyhands to me is how each couple inside it plays off each other and provides fulfilment that the third person cannot!
Steddyhands, for me, is about not having to be everything for someone and that being ok :)
#i feel like thats a weird ass explaination of my stance on them#i say i ship steddyhands as shorthand and maybe /you/ think i ship steddyhands (which is fine!) but for me?#they never do things all together in my head! they work and relax in the captains cabin (and share the bed) together sure#but if they are going out and doing something they can literally never find something thats Good for all three of them.#they find it better to go do things as pairs that they share enjoyment of and for the third to get some personal time#(because thats so hard to come by on a boat)#the closest they get to me are port trips and still. in my head. one of them is having a rough time whenever theyre doing that#its not enjoyable for them!!!! they dont work as a three! they work better as three pairs!!#moving cogs all synced together but never meeting in the middle#nyxtalks#ask#ask game#yeah im answering the questions youre gonna get flavour text idk what to tell you. its me#this also turned into way more addition than i meant but i have been. thinking about this a lot recently!!!!#i acknowledge that. this is what most people would consider 'shipping them' to be but. its not the same to me!#its three separate couples that happen to make a loop; not a throuple. to me. its not the same as i feel abt other poly ships#but i rated them with the consideration that. i am wrong here :)
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More kazooieposting because why not. What's your favourite stage theme?
let's see... with kazooie, it's probably clankers cavern because i just really like clanker. he's so cool and i like hanging out with him.
with tooie, while i feel like it's everyones favourite, it's gotta be witchy world. it's just such a fun world overall that it's hard to pick anything else.
#ask#anon#if i had to pick seconds for both? lets see... uhh...#maybe treasure trove cove? i feel like its a close second. just really nice level. except for the clams. fuckars.#theres a fun detail i noticed with treasure trove coves music#so theres a little segment in the tune that appears a bit late thats the exact same chord progression as bottles challenge music#and thats so neat to me because like. where do you go to get a few specific cheat codes? bottles minigame#and where do you put those cheat codes in at? treasure trove cove#its just a really fun touch#but ough... my boy clanker.... i cant pick favourites over my boy clanker...#ill get you out of there man. theres a huge sea out there.#as for tooie... terrydactyland? i always loved playing through its world#i remember watching a tier list recently and they had terrydactyland pretty low on the list. because of how empty it is#which is definitely a fair statement. but as a kid i didnt mind honestly#but really its so hard to pick anything over witchyworld. its music. its theme. the different areas. oughhh.....#i even like mr patch. except for like one part of his design that changes with his return in nuts & bolts.#beyond that. fun design. i like him a lot if we can ignore a part of his design.#i also like how proportionally large the interior of the big top is.#the only thing i dislike about mr patch is his actual boss fight. aiming. aiming eggs at his patches. and hes constantly moving about.#most hated themes? uhhh i cant really pick one in kazooie really. theyre all good even if rusty bucket bay sucks#tooie? probably glitter glutch mine. or jolly roger lagoon.#those two i never liked playing through really.#jolly roger lagoon scared the shit out of me as a kid. i hated the ominous deep hole in the middle of the lagoon#and the underwater segment sucks because so much of the level looks the same.#glitter glutch mine... idk what about it i disliked. it was honestly the one level i dreaded playing the most in the early game#its visuals arent the worst but. idk something about it i didnt really enjoy. maybe those damn fps segments.#anyway! thank you for the ask anon!!! :)
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i consider myself a bit of a connoisseur of besties-turned-lovers stories but one thing that has always bothered me a little is when the besties actually become lovers and then the relationship loses all bestie-itude LIKE correct me if im wrong but i feel like these things aren’t usually mutually exclusive... i see it more often with m/f besties but i see it with same gender, etc besties on occasion too and like. YES its realistic that friendships change their dynamics over time (even without turning into lovers) but i always see this thing where these two besties get together and then are immediately like “but i CANT dick around with my bestie anymore because theyre also my significant other” you could if you werent a coward. can’t u dick around with ur bestie romantically. can’t you dick around with ur partner bestie-ly. what am i not getting here
#and i mean maybe its because i do enjoy a m/f relationship often in a very bisexual and mildly genderly sort of way#that this character relationship development style is so like. alien and bizarre to me. what am i not understanding#had pacific rim on the mind and i was thinking about some m/f besties i like. mako and whats his nuts#(sorry i really like his character but i havent seen that movie in like 7 years orz)#i really adore their relationship as besties and also i do like the fun little flirty scenes they had a couple times in the movie too#thats a m/f bestie couple i quite like in like a romantic and platonic way folded over itself. if that makes sense#i think its very sweet and awesome. mako deserves a handsome bestie to flirt with. as a treat#thank god they never removed any bestieness from their relationship. even in the goofy flirty scenes they had they were still bestieing#thank u mr del toro#wait sorry now im thinking about mixed gender besties. i love mulder and scully of course we all do#and in the three seasons ive seen ive come to the conclusion i like them in the sense that like#theyre platonic theyre romantic theyre both theyre neither theyre something else entirely#but most importantly. theyre scully and mulder LOL#its a category in and of itself. a very interesting form of besties#oh and recently ive been rewatching elementary since i never saw the past the first season#that one as of the season ive seen i adore fully and completely platonically. oh these guys are very platonic besties#only sherlock story on earth where sherlock and watson are purely platonic LOL#god their relationship is great. oh speaking of platonic im still like fascinated with that one webcome i never finished. villainess no more#i think thats what it was called. someday i'll finish it. its fun and the romance is sweet but i still like.#kinda liked their relationship more when they were just besties at first sight. marriage of convenience turned platonic besties#probably not intentional from the author. sorry. im a sucker for romance so thats kinda new for me too#theres so many variety of bestie. so many layers. its a rich artform: the bestie
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if i could make gifs i think i would put the last shot of the terror/merlin/ted lasso together. fills me with the same sort of solitary dread
#beebles#i do not mean to put the terror on the same level as merlin anf ted lasso#because um theyre not at all on the same level.#sorry.#love you merlin love you ted lasso the terror is genuinely one of the best television shows ever made#just like. objectively.#but i really like the three ending shots#white men looking just so so so miserable#(and. tbh. i think ted's look is debatable but he does look a skosh dissociative)#they just end similarly and theyre the most recent autisms of mine lol
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#whyare my least ''serious'' intrusive thoughts the most distressing ones for me. i get ALL of the common bad ones and theyre awful and i#hate them but its the irrational fear of ********* specifically that gets me the most. all it takes isseeing a photo of one of the guys who#did it and i wont want to go outside for the next couple days. youll never guess what i saw earlier btw#its been bad recently. ''you should read their journals you should watch z.ero day you should read news paper articles'' I DONT WSNT TO#i still think its weird that i dont think p.s and k.mfdm are bad luck by association.#sometimes i feel like im faking having ocd because mostof the bad thoughs. the horrors. are about that event and not like flicking my light#-switch or checking if my door is locked or CLEANING. people do get that but i dont so that means im making it up for attention. in my mind#idk. i should see a therapist
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i looove probably having bpd and at the very least separation anxiety
i looove having nightmares about having breakdowns and physical violence just to wake up crying, unable to fall back asleep and when i finally manage sleep i still wake up after about an hour, knowing i'll be stuck in that sleepless loop till i give up, all just because they're unexpectedly gone
i looove having motivation to do things to improve my future when i'm with them, and being suicidal as soon as they're unexpectedly gone
why is it too much to ask just to be told when they'll be gone? why do i get punished for having feelings? why am i never good enough for them?
#moth having a bad time#a while ago now‚ they freaked out because they saw i told someone i always felt like i was walking on eggshells around them#like. well yeah maybe if you didn't leave me every time i wasn't perfect maybe i would feel more comfortable talking to you#maybe if you didn't do things you're fully aware causes me breakdowns every time i upset you‚ maybe just Maybe i wouldn't be scared of you#they literally terrified me into not showing them my issues#they don't see my anger issues and splitting anymore because the punishment terrified me out of it#i didn't actually get better. i'm just so terrified of doing anything that would make them leave me#i wrote a poem about this‚ about breaking all my bones for them and them still not being satisfied#see: misery meat by sodikken. me severely. see: people eater by sodikken. what they look like from my perspective#i used to be the people eater in my last relationship. it's funny how the roles reverse. i now see myself so much in the person i was with#it's scary#i'm tired. gonna try to sleep again. it's funny i have no sleep issues that i didn't choose (i.e. my sleep routine is shit but i chose that)#EXCEPT. for when theyre unexpectedly gone. i recently had 3 nightmares in 13 minutes about them‚ waking up after each one#i've struggled with insomnia twice in my life. oh and every time they're unexpectedly gone#most of those nights i wake up more than once every hour
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love how literally every other r/offmychest post is someone going "my partner just asked about opening up the relationship, what do i do?" and the comments are "the relationship is dead, this is a horrible betrayal of your trust, break up with them you don't deserve this abuse"
#that is not hyperbole btw literally the most recent one's top comment called it abuse#and its like. if ur not into it ur allowed to say no. thats the whole point of asking.#and if they try to pressure you after then yeah theyre in the wrong if its a dealbreaker for them they should end the relationship there#or if they just bypass asking and go straight to cheating and try to spin it as 'well actually im poly so you have to let me' obv#thats shitty too#however them just. thinking it is not . something you should judge their morality on#like in a healthy relationship it goes 'hey wanna do an open relationship' 'hmmm no i like it better as just us'#'no problem just thought id ask' and then everyone moves on with their day#and by FUCKING god is it not ABUSE all on its own just to ASK if it's a possibility#and theyre always like 'its over.... my life is ending ....... she never loved me.................' and its like#oh my goddddd shut up that is not what happened#'she said she still loves me just as much as she did at the start of our relationship but obviously she's lying because#if she actually loved me the thought would never have even crossed her mind' man fuck off#someone being capable of maintaining multiple relationships doesnt suddenly negate everything you have together#fucking grow up
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i just cried after doing the dishes because of my paws being in pain and because I feel like I'm being a terrible host because I'm kinda tired of my guests. I love spending time with them, but having to go to work, do my house chores, keep them entertained and fed, is just too much. And I feel like being overwhelmed makes me a horrible host. I didnt tell them anything, I'm trying to seem like I'm not that tired, but just because in my head I'm getting tired of all that, I'm bad. And yes I know that my thoughts don't make me bad, but that doesn't matter because while I know that I still feel like absolute piece of garbage. Because like, how could I even think of that. I'm supposed to be happy about them being here, and I am happy, but I am also constantly in pain and have to do everything around the house and it's just too much
#i feel so guilty for that but sometimes i wish theyd leave early even though they just came here#not because i dont want them to be around#i just dont want to have to do absolutely everything for them#but i have to. theyre my guests#i wish they lived closer so we could meet without all that exhausting bullshit#just. go get a coffee or pizza together every now and then#but since they live across the country they cant visit often so every visit has to matter#and what makes me even more guilty is that im mostly tired of my sister's boyfriend#i like him. but im tired#my sister is my everything and i would kill and die for her. she can do whatever she wants#but also she does whatever she wants. if shes hungry or thirsty she knows she can just grab anything she wants from the fridge or whatever#because shes family. she lived with us most of her life. our home is still her home#but her boyfriend is someone new to this place. he lives differently from us simply because he wasnt a part of our family until recently#technically he can do whatever he wants but i know how awkward can it be to rummage in someone elses fridge#and he shouldnt have to clean the place. because hes a guest#so while my sister is just living here for now i have to do everything for him#and because im already making a meal for him why wouldnt i do it for my sister?#i do it anyway when only she is visiting because i love her#you know honestly im just a better host when there's only one guest. its not that overwhelming#okay also im hungry but i cant eat anything bc of various stupid reasons#mostly just. i dont feel comfortable eating around people i don't know thay much#but also i feel like i cant eat anything if i dont give them that thing too. but they already ate something this evening#there wasnt enough of that meal for three people so i just made them food. but now i fant get anything else for myself#without giving them that thing too but theyre not hungry anymore bc they already ate#and I'm just too fucking tired to make anything for everyone#i want to just make myself some toast or sandwich without having to do a million of them#im just generally tired and hungry and overwhelmed and in pain and i feel so guilty for being those things#ough#bee buzz
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