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disabled-dragoon · 9 months

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The Disability Library

I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.

And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!

As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!

Edit 20/10/2023: You can now suggest books using the google form at the bottom!

Updated: 31/08/2023

Articles and Chapters

The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012

Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?, Elinor Greenburg, 2019

Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018

Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019

Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004

Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020

Books

Fiction:

Misc:

10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac

A-F:

A Curse So Dark and Lonely, (Series), Brigid Kemmerer

Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor

A Mango-Shaped Space, Wendy Mass

Ancillary Justice, (Series), Ann Leckie

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon

An Unseen Attraction, (Series), K. J. Charles

A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee

A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd

A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin

A Spindle Splintered, (Series), Alix E. Harrow

A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman

Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon

Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray

The Bedlam Stacks, (Series), Natasha Pulley

Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack

Black Sun, (Series), Rebecca Roanhorse

Blood Price, (Series), Tanya Huff

Borderline, (Series), Mishell Baker

Breath, Donna Jo Napoli

The Broken Kingdoms, (Series), N.K. Jemisin

Brute, Kim Fielding

Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee

Carry the Ocean, (Series), Heidi Cullinan

Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman

Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer

Clean, Amy Reed

Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert

Cosima Unfortunate Steals A Star, Laura Noakes

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert

Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots, (Series), Cat Sebastian

Daniel, Deconstructed, James Ramos

Dead in the Garden, (Series), Dahlia Donovan

Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe

Deathless Divide, (Series), Justina Ireland

The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann

The Doctor's Discretion, E.E. Ottoman

Earth Girl, (Series), Janet Edwards

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin

The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart

Fight + Flight, Jules Machias

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

Finding My Voice, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The First Thing About You, Chaz Hayden

Follow My Leader, James B. Garfield

Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington

Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood

Fresh, Margot Wood

H-0:

Harmony, London Price

Harrow the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Hench, (Series), Natalia Zina Walschots

Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley

Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers

How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby

How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager, (Series), D. N. Bryn

How to Sell Your Blood & Fall in Love, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Joy Demorra

I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork

The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora

In the Ring, Sierra Isley

Into The Drowning Deep, (Series), Mira Grant

Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao

Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds

Jodie's Journey, Colin Thiele

Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell

Kissing Doorknobs, Terry Spencer Hesser

Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore

Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss

Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry

The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu

The Lion Hunter, (Series), Elizabeth Wein

Lirael, (Series), Garth Nix

Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans

Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses, Kristen O'Neal

Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

The Never Tilting World, (Series), Rin Chupeco

The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall

Nona the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Noor, Nnedi Okorafor

Odder Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Once Stolen, (Series), D. N. Bryn

One For All, Lillie Lainoff

On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis

Origami Striptease, Peggy Munson

Our Bloody Pearl, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

P-T:

Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan

Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee

The Prey of Gods, Nicky Drayden

The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan

The Queen's Thief, (Series), Megan Whalen Turner

The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox

The Raging Quiet, Sheryl Jordan

The Reanimator's Heart, (Series), Kara Jorgensen

The Remaking of Corbin Wale, Joan Parrish

Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner

Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby

The Second Mango, (Series), Shira Glassman

Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M

Shaman, (Series), Noah Gordon

Sick Kids in Love, Hannah Moskowitz

The Silent Boy, Lois Lowry

Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo

Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood

Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient is Love. No, Really, (Series), RoAnna Sylver

Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]

The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes

Stronger Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Sweetblood, Pete Hautman

Tarnished Are the Stars, Rosiee Thor

The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani

Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos

Top Ten, Katie Cotugno

Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann

Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon

Turtles All the Way Down, John Green

U-Z:

Unlicensed Delivery, Will Soulsby-McCreath Expected release October 2023

Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan

Vorkosigan Saga, (Series), Lois McMaster Bujold

We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf

Whip, Stir and Serve, Caitlyn Frost and Henry Drake

The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew

Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron

Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio

Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai

Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon

Graphic Novels:

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability, (Non-Fiction), A. Andrews

Constellations, Kate Glasheen

Dancing After TEN: a graphic memoir, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Vivian Chong, Georgia Webber

Everything Is an Emergency: An OCD Story in Words Pictures, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Jason Adam Katzenstein

Frankie's World: A Graphic Novel, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The Golden Hour, Niki Smith

Nimona, N. D. Stevenson

The Third Person, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Emma Grove

Magazines and Anthologies:

Artificial Divide, (Anthology), Robert Kingett, Randy Lacey

Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg

Defying Doomsday, (Anthology), edited by Tsana Dolichva and Holly Kench

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe

Nothing Without Us, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Nothing Without Us Too, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens, (Anthology), edited by Marieke Nijkamp

Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.

Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett

We Shall Be Monsters, edited by Derek Newman-Stille

Manga:

Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga

The Sky is Blue with a Single Cloud, (Short Stories), Kuniko Tsurita

Non-Fiction:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage

A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen

The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen

Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson

Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, Dr. Elinor Greenburg

Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare

The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.

The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican

Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel

Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah

The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang

Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai

Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred

Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen

Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc

Every Cripple a Superhero, Christoph Keller

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare

Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Growing Up Disabled in Australia, Carly Findlay

It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall

The Minority Body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford

No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose

Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton

The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma

Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua

QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.

The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar

Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig

Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright

Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline

The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender

Uncanny Bodies: Superhero Comics and Disability, Scott T. Smith, José Alaniz

Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman, (memoir), Laura Kate Dale

Unmasking Autism, Devon Price

The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford

We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, Eliza Hull

Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong

Picture Books:

A Day With No Words, Tiffany Hammond, Kate Cosgrove-

A Friend for Henry, Jenn Bailey, Mika Song

Ali and the Sea Stars, Ali Stroker, Gillian Reid

All Are Welcome, Alexandra Penfold, Suzanne Kaufman

All the Way to the Top, Annette Bay Pimentel, Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, Nabi Ali

Can Bears Ski?, Raymond Antrobus, Polly Dunbar

Different -- A Great Thing to Be!, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

Everyone Belongs, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

I Talk Like a River, Jordan Scott, Sydney Smith

Jubilee: The First Therapy Horse and an Olympic Dream, K. T. Johnson, Anabella Ortiz

Just Ask!, Sonia Sotomayor, Rafael López

Kami and the Yaks, Andrea Stenn Stryer, Bert Dodson

My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay, Cari Best, Vanessa Brantley-Newton

Rescue & Jessica: A Life-Changing Friendship, Jessica Kensky, Patrick Downes, Scott Magoon

Sam's Super Seats, Keah Brown, Sharee Miller

Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha

We Move Together, Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, Eduardo Trejos

We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful!, Bobbi Jane Kates, Joe Mathieu

What Happened to You?, James Catchpole, Karen George

The World Needs More Purple People, Kristen Bell, Benjamin Hart, Daniel Wiseman

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

You Are Loved: A Book About Families, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

The You Kind of Kind, Nina West, Hayden Evans

Zoom!, Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko

Plays:

Peeling, Kate O'Reilly

---

With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon @thebibliosphere @brynwrites @aj-grimoire @shade-and-sun @ceanothusspinosus @edhelwen1 @waltzofthewifi @spiderleggedhorse @sleepneverheardofher @highladyluck @oftheides @thecouragetobekind @nopoodles @lupadracolis @elusivemellifluence @creativiteaa @moonflowero1 @the-bi-library @chronically-chaotic-cryptid for your absolutely fantastic contributions!

---

Submit a Book:

#disability resources #disability #chronic illness #disability books #books #resources #book list #disability literature #literature #disability representation #disabled characters #information #informative #disability education #disability history #disability rights #please add to this #to be updated #long post

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jayujus · 2 months

Text

rent a boyfriend! - chapter 4

— 04 cocktail party!!!

written ~ 1.0k + smau

heeseung adjusts his tux, sweat building at his nape from nervousness. who would have thought that he'd be taking a girl out that he met from a sketchy site?

he rings her doorbell, unsure if the flowers are too extra or not.

a few seconds later, y/n opens the door, flashing a bright smile at him. honestly, she's surprised he is actually real herself even if she did not really question it. he is a fine man, especially in the suit he is wearing right now and in person. a small smile forms on his face as he hands her a bouquet of dahlias and roses. y/n's smile grows even bigger as she grabs the bouquet from him, pulling him into a hug as she steps outside her apartment.

"this dress is so pretty on you." he whispers in her ear as she links her arm with his, as if they've been a couple for so long. "you look good too."

exiting the luxurious apartment building, y/n is met with heeseung's NOT white van. his car was fairly nice, a black bmw. "you didn't bring a white van?" heeseung raises his eyebrows as he opens the door for her. "did you want me to?" y/n doesn't say anything, putting on her seatbelt. "this is a nice car." heeseung hums, "i got it as a gift by my brother," y/n nods, giving him the directions to the building.

once they arrived in the building's huge parking lot, y/n tells him some reminders. "my parents are going to want to meet you right away, just be normal. please," heeseung hums. "don't worry!"

he helps y/n step out of the car, "should i leave the flowers in the car...?" heeseung shrugs, "are you going to come and get it later?" y/n thinks for a few seconds, "actually, i was wondering if you'd be able to drop me off tonight. you don't have to! just wondering." she asks nervously, which makes heeseung blush. "i'll drop you, no worries."

immediately when y/n enters the building with heeseung by her side, she hears her mother rushing excitedly to her, some of her drink spills on the way. "oh my god! y/n! is this the boy you were talking about?" y/n hums, "this is heeseung." her mom flashes a big smile at him, "hi heeseung, we should talk a little bit. i will go find your dad, y/n." y/n sucks in her breath, mouthing a 'sorry' to heeseung before her mom walks away.

about two minutes later, y/n's mom comes back with her dad, who greets heeseung. "you are a very handsome man, surprisingly. my y/n has never had a boyfriend before, so i was worried who'd she bring." y/n covers her face in embarrassment, hinting at her parents to stop talking. "what do you do? what do your parents do?" heeseung purses his lips at the bombarded questions. "i study law. my parents run a family restaur-" y/n elbows heeseung, "his parents are doctors." y/n's parents smile, "wow! that's really cool, y/n, you did a good job finding him." y/n smiles awkwardly, dragging heeseung away a few seconds later.

heeseung furrows his eyebrows when y/n told a lie.

heeseung ended up meeting a lot of y/n loved ones tonight. he first met her parents— which was awkward, her friend group, her aunts and uncles, and her sister.

when heeseung excuses himself to the restroom, her sister, jinah, asks, "where did you meet him, y/n?" y/n quickly comes up with another lie. she won't have to see heeseung again after tonight, right? it won't matter. she'll send him the money and they won't talk again. "we met at the mall! yeah! he offered to pay for my stuff so it just went from there...." she smiles awkwardly and jinah knows she's lying. she can tell but she doesn't say anything about it right now. the last thing she wants her baby sister dealing with is more stress than their parents already give her.

when heeseung comes back, jinah excuses herself and the two just hang out by the food, munching on some of the chocolate covered-strawberries while talking about whatever.

"i honestly thought you weren't real, my friends kept saying so. your hair color kept changing in every picture." heeseung chuckles. "my friend sunghoon dyes my hair for me," y/n hums. "i like this color on you." he blushes, jokingly flirting with her back.

"do you want to dance?" heeseung nods and y/n grabs his hand, pulling him with her to the dance floor.

the party ended and it was around 1:30 am. y/n was hugging her friends goodbye before being left with just her sister, parents, and heeseung. "heeseung, it was good to meet you. you seem like a nice man and you make my daughter happy, thank you." heeseung smiles at her mom and dad, bowing at them.

he also bows to y/n's sister, "get her home safely." y/n's dad says, to which heeseung nods. "don't worry, mr. jeon. i will."

heeseung considers placing a hand around her waist. he really thought she was the prettiest girl ever but this was only for one night, that would be too awkward.

"thank you for doing this for me, actually. i'll send you the money when i get home." heeseung purses his lips, "you don't need to send me the money, it's fine." y/n raises an eyebrow as she enters his car. "what? no, i'm paying you." heeseung protests but there is no point because y/n continues arguing back.

"i rented you for one night, so i have to pay you." heeseung doesn't say anything else but mumbling an 'okay.'

"you make a pretty good boyfriend, to be honest. do you have any girl you're interested in?" heeseung hesitantly shakes his head. "what about you?" y/n shrugs. "beomgyu's cute but he doesn't like me."

"the atrocious man you posted?" he jokes and y/n jokingly slaps his arm. "be nice!"

"he fumbled, seriously he fumbled." y/n blushes and turns to face the window, "tell me about it."

a few minutes later, they arrive at her apartment building. "want me to walk you in?"

"you don't have to," heeseung asks again and y/n says the same thing, so he just helps her out of the car and she gives him a quick hug. he hands her the flowers he got for her. "goodnight heeseung." she smiles, "goodnight."

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KAIA'S NOTE sorryy this isn't proofread and i'm not the most confident in my writing skills 😣 also if im unable to tag you anymore i wont be able to keep you on the taglist 💔💔

TAGLIST (CLOSED) @leep0ems @yyawnjun @saursoob @heerinnie @wvnkoi @heeslut4life @sunghoonnsupremacy @ramenoil @chxrlvspp @wonniestars @beommii @kwiwin @dimplewonie @eleanorheartschishiya @sunkislove @jaeyunluvr @txtlyn @aishigrey @simjyunnie @oldjws @baevsxii @sumzysworld @iamliacamila @yvrikoo @hotsforikeu @w3bqrl @jiaant11 @caryssoverhere @boutyouwonu @aespaslut @nishislcve @neocockthotology @erehkinnie30 @icepshrince @26796i @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kissezfornamjoon @ghostiiess @lprww @stilesks @k1ttylvr @rantiii @rikizm @kgneptun @jjunae @aerivrs @bomi-ja @dani-is-tired @ttylxox2 @i-yeseo

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cjjferk · 1 month

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WW2 AU

PART 0

...and when I gathered all Wooster's will in my fist and decided to deal like a man with this incognito who had interrupted my secret rendezvous with the c., I heard a voice that made my heart do a salto mortale.

"The doctor has forbidden you to smoke, sir."

~~~~~

And then you're like: ayo wtf cjjferk?

Well, this is my au about their lives during the WW2 :,)

An idea I had one night. Nothing more

Of course in the book as far as I know this period is just skipped and they just move on? But the series ends before WW2 so I have an idea about that~

In my AU Jeeves works for Aunt Dahlia while Bertie is learning to pilot. But one September day Jeeves mysteriously disappears on his way to his and Bertie's flat. He then becomes a spy and is sent to France on various super secret missions. Jeeves can't get in touch with Bertie, so he thinks Jeeves has abandoned him or died(

But then they meet in 1944 in a hospital somewhere in the more southern part of England don't ask me how. Bertie's plane crashed and he was wounded but slowly recovered. And one spring day while walking in the hospital courtyard he decided to hide behind the hospital building and smoke.

...And just as he was about to put the lighter to the cigarette some hand took it out of his mouth.

In fact my whole idea is shattered by a simple question: why wouldn't they have gone to America?🤔

I'm still working on it

Btw if you know any good fanfics in English about it you can tell me🥲👉👈

#jeeves and wooster #bertie wooster #reginald jeeves #jooster #jeeves #fanart #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #art #🙃

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frost-queen · 6 months

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Reversed roles (Reader x Jeremiah Valeska)

Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury, @imagines-by-her, @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

Summary: Reader is Jeremiah's therapist at Arkham. When the roles are reversed it is time for Jeremiah to be in charge and do whatever he likes with you.

“Ah Y/n!” – Jeremiah called out upon seeing you enter the room. You gave him a soft glare as he lowered his enthusiasm. – “Ma’am.” - he expressed in a deep voice trying to be half funnily. Taking a deep breath you pulled the chair back. Jeremiah came leaning his elbow on the table, resting his knuckles under his chin.

“I’ve missed you doctor.” – he said as you sat down. – “Then you are the first.” – you told him looking for a pen in your pockets. He chuckled with a wide smile. – “Normally people hate therapy.” – you continued taking out a pen. – “I like you doctor.” – he responded all cheeky.

It made you quirk your eyebrow at him. – “This isn’t a playdate Mr. Valeska.” – you reminded him. – “It could be?” – he answered. You looked around the small pale room. – “Very romantic.” – you said sarcastically. Jeremiah leaned back in his chair, moving his hands behind his head. – “We can make it very romantic.” – he suggested glancing down at his own lap.

Almost inviting you over to come over and sit on it. You flashed your eyes down unamused by his attempt. – “Auch doc.” – he outed sounding like a wounded puppy. Exhaling loud you lifted your head back up. – “Shall we begin Mr. Valeska?”

Jeremiah shrugged his shoulders. You clicked your pen with a quick quirk of your brow at his lack of co-operation. – “You keep requesting me here Mr. Valeska. Why if you are not motivated to take on my therapy.” – you said as he snorted loud. – “What you really think talking about my feelings will magically make me sane?” – he laughed it away.

“It could be a start.” – you proposed inviting him to start. Jeremiah lowered his arms, changing his posture in the chair. – “I am more of an actions first type of guy.” – he told you. You hummed intrigued scribbling down as you mumbled out loud enough to him.

“Violent.” – Jeremiah puffed loud at how you were keeping the charade of being his therapy doctor up. It bothered him that you weren’t giving him the attention he wanted from you. There was a reason he kept requesting you for therapy even though he never wanted it.

Manipulating the guards into having a change of heart when it wasn’t the case. They were just foolish enough to buy it. Jeremiah leaned over the table taking your notebook and tossing it behind him. The pages fluttered open before it hit the wall. Dropping down to the floor, some loose pages scattered around.

You leaned a bit to the side to look past him to your notebook. – “You owe me a notebook.” – you spoke. – “You owe me your attention.” – he responded mocking the dull tone in your voice. – “I’m paying you to be here so I get to decide what I do with you.” – he made clear. – “You don’t pay me at all. The asylum does.” – you stated with a sneer driving him wild.

Jeremiah started to clap, applauding you. – “You are one tough one to crack.” – he said with a silly smile on his lips. – “Finally common ground.” – you answered. Jeremiah got up, shoving his chair back. He pressed his hands firm on the steel table. You didn’t even flinch feeling his fierce eyes pierce at you.

You looked back at him with a tiny smile. – “Does my lack of attention make you angry?” – you asked him. He licked his lip brief, turning his head. Clearly bothered that you were spot on. – “I’ll take that as a yes.” – you filled in. He looked back at you with a silly grin. – “I want your attention, all of it.” – he spoke full of mischief.

“I want you to keep your eyes on me.” – he went on straightening his posture. You kept your eyes on him as he slowly moved around the table over to you. – “I want your devoted attention.” – he continued rounding your side. – “What will you have me do?” – you responded intrigued what his intentions with these sessions were.

He set his hands on the bars of your chair, letting the feet scrape over the floor as he turned you in the chair to him. It made you swallow soft, feeling your heart rate slightly pick up. Jeremiah bend down, leaning in closer. – “It’s my turn to tell you what to do doc.” – he said staring hungry at your eyes. – “Is that s…” – you couldn’t finish your sentence as he had grabbed your throat, pushing your head back. His grip caught you off guard, making you blink a few times to process his hand around your throat.

Jeremiah chuckled devious loosening his fingers around your neck. He let his hand slide down your neck to your chest. His eyes following his movement till they landed on your lap. He smiled. – “May I?” – he asked, sitting down without permission. You felt his weight on your thighs. The thumping of your heart beating through your muscles with his pressure. He exhaled loud looking up to the ceiling for a moment. His arms resting on your shoulders. – “Isn’t this nice doc?” – he asked not wanting to hear an answer.

You turned your head to the side, trying not to fall under his spell. It was so clear he was toying with you. Messing you up and manipulating you. He knew damn well how good looking he was. Knowing no woman could resist his charm. His gaze went down on you once more, seeing you were keeping your head away from him. Jeremiah clicked his tongue, grabbing you by your chin.

He swayed his finger in front of you. – “All your attention Y/n.” – he reminded you. He drew himself nearer letting his cheek brush against yours to reach your ear. – “I can do whatever I like with you.” – he whispered making you feel slightly intimidated and strangely attracted to it. – “There will be guards soon.” – you told him. You heard him breath out a chuckle by your ear. – “We still have twenty minutes, doll.” – he said out loud to send a wave of fear over you.

You swallowed nervously knowing he had his grip on you for another twenty minutes now. He moved his head back to look at you. – “Are you frightened?” – he let out. Strangely you weren’t. Shaking your head you let him know. Your gesture seemed to amuse him. – “Very well doll.” – he spoke as his thumb slid down your cheek. – “Now it is my time to give you therapy.” – he paused his thumb on your underlip, flashing his gaze down to it. – “Therapy of insanity.” – he filled in with a hushed voice.

With his thumb he forced your chin down, opening your mouth. Before you could response properly had he pressed his mouth onto yours. Slipping his tongue right in your mouth. Your eyes widened at the feeling of his tongue in your mouth. His tongue brushed up your upper teeth before he sucked it back in, closing his lips on yours. Kissing your lips roughly. Staining your lips with his sanity. A gentle pull on your hair made you join in. Unable to resist not joining the party. The hotness of his lips demanding your participation. Whatever game he was playing it seemed to affect you. Unable to stay away from it.

What’s wrong with me? You thought as you moved your hands around his neck, grabbing onto the back of his neck. Your chest pressed itself against him taking a bit of control back. Jeremiah released his lips from you with a smirk. – “Somone is eager.” – he teased. – “Shut up and kiss me.” – you demanded pushing his head closer to you. Wanting his hot lips on yours again.

You didn’t have to say that twice as Jeremiah kissed you once more. Blood began to pump harder to your legs as a warmness spread inside of you. What was he doing to you? It was clear he was manipulating you yet you couldn’t stay away from it. Eager to be bound and do his bidding. Whatever he demanded you were willing to give. Surrender fully to him like a lapdog. Lips retracted once more as he smiled touching your cheek with a quick touch.

“Look at you.” – he said noticing the flush in your cheeks. You were panting, ushering your chest closer to him yearning for more. He had you right where he wanted you and you didn’t care. He removed himself from your lap as it pulsated strong. He went back around the table to the wall. Bending down to pick up your notebook. – “Can’t have you leaving without this.” – he said casually as if he just hadn’t kissed you till you saw stars.

He placed the notebook on the table, sliding it over to you. – “Next week same time?” – he asked as you could only nod. – “Good girl.” – he said going round the table again. He went to the door, knocking loudly at it. There he waited for the guards to open up. With one hand in his pocket was he waiting.

As if he had been the therapist ending the session and you the patient. The door opened as the guards were surprised to see him. They cuffed him once more. Before they walked off with him, had he turned around to you. – “I enjoyed this session. Very progressive for my well-being.” – he teased striking you with a wink.

The guards took him with them as you were left alone. You needed at least a few more moments to recollect yourself. The smell of his insanity still lingering on you. You laughed loud trying to cope with the fact that he has you under his thumb now. Grabbing your notebook you took your leave. Anticipating the next session where you no longer cared what he would do to you. As long as it made you feel wanted by him that was enough.

------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

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saytrrose · 1 month

Note

Do the Mafia Members have their own rooms? What do they look like?

They do have their own rooms! However I cannot speak on behalf of everyone as that’s up to them to decide and choose. I will gladly answer for Rose though!

Rose technically has two rooms, if you count her main office. But her bedroom specifically is pretty dark, dimly lit and minimalist besides a few plants as her only decor. Her room is very elegant, as she has one of those large canopy beds and bookcases and the main necessity furniture. There are a few books on her shelf that may or may not open the case to an extra room off her bedroom.. but other than that it’s rather bland. Pretty and definitely reeks of wealth, but not too much color or decor.

Now for everyone else’s rooms, you’d have to ask them! I try my best to reblog their responses here as well to add to the tag on my blog so everything’s all in one nice neat folder :)

Sunflower/The Advisor - @a-fucking-nerd

Cosmo/The Thief - @gummy-axolotl

Orchid/The Dirty Cop - @oogaboogaspookyman

Daisy/The Doctor - @laurenashleysparks

Dahlia/The Spy - @sweetlittletangerine

Aster/The Assassin - @starryyskies

Hyacinth/The Bodyguard - @bunny-j3st3r

Crocus/The Weapons Expert - @frost-can-bite

Lotus/The Businesswoman - @sm-babie

Oleander/The Money Launderer - @butchwaifu

Borage/The Scientist - @superchillingman

Gladiolus/The Info Broker - @helljuice

Magnolia/The Housekeep - @torchiiko

Zinnia/The Bartender - @cconcerned

#nightingale garden au

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intoxicated-chan · 1 year

Note

Hi Punk!!! I was wondering about a fem reader x Valeria inspired in the song Fahrenheit by Azee. So basically they had something going on, but Valeria betrayed her by becoming a narco, and reader was recruited in 141, and now they meet again, and Valeria wants reader back 🤧

Fahrenheit

♡o。.✿ฺ Paring // Valeria Garza x F!141!Reader

♡o。.✿ฺ Summary // Either of you are sure of how things would’ve ended. Were they supposed to end like this or another way?

♡o。.✿ฺ (A/n) // Wasn’t sure what kind of ending you wanted but I hope you are happy with it.

♡o。.✿ฺ Word Count // 2.5k

♡o。.✿ฺ Content Warnings // Female reader, angst, little fluff, swearing, violence, misogyny, blood, death, mentions of drugs…

Black dahlias.

The flowers left behind. You never questioned anything Valeria has done, her beliefs, her choices, and her abilities. You always held faith in her. Even with her choices, you never questioned it, her decision and it wasn’t yours. But you saw the looks, the comments she received as a soldier. But you believed in her.

It’s what Valeria liked about you. Believing in her and willing to go hell and back just to save her ass. Loyal, honest, strong… Valeria went hours listing what was so perfect about you but loyalty was what she adored the most. Those nights in her arms, she was ready to give up but you were always the one bringing her back up.

Even as she put a bullet into his head, letting the blood soak the land where you swore your loyalty to her, Valeria knew it was too good to be true. The look in your eyes that saw her kill one of your comrades without mercy, she knew that your loyalty was long gone. She couldn’t be surprised but she was. Sticking out her hand for you to take only for you to slap it away in disgust in anger.

Valeria watched in disappointment in her eyes as you shot down her men, and now standing face-to-face, your gun drawn and ready to kill. This time, you question her, you don’t believe in any words that spill from her mouth. She snapped, a bullet struck your leg which made you fall. She kicks the rifle from your hands and grabs a hold of your chin, making you face her.

You knew the look in her eyes. Your Valeria was long gone. You knew when she cursed at you, questioning your loyalty to her. You froze up, everything became silent to you and the world around you felt like it stopped. It broke her heart hearing you mumble those words, the words she’s been waiting for.

Valeria shakes her head as her men gather around you, “Deja este. Déjala presenciar el derramamiento de sangre.” (Leave this one. Let her witness the bloodshed.) Valeria holsters her pistol, releasing her grip.

Fighting back tears, she walks away, feeling the rain begin to fall down. Her men laugh in your face, following behind.

You look behind you, seeing her walk to a car, “Please, Valeria! I love you!” You call out to her, sobbing uncontrollably.

Valeria hurries into the car, she clutches the steering wheel tightly and lays her head on it. She’s trying her best not to let anyone else see her showing weakness. But she swears that she could still hear you crying, with her nails digging into the wheel, she starts the car and drives away, trying to control her breathing.

Alejandro comes from around the corner, following your cries. He sees you trying to wipe them all away and ignoring the fact how badly your wound is. He lays you on the ground, applying pressure, “¿Qué sucedió? ¿Dónde está Valeria?” (What happened? Where’s Valeria?) Yet he received no answer from you, “¡Tenemos un soldado herido! ¡Alguien ayúdeme!” (We have a wounded soldier! Someone help me!) He shouts into the comms, “Just hold on (L/n). Hold on.”

The doctors say it was days you were unconscious, it felt like months to you. The doctor said that the bullet didn’t hit anything major so you’ll be back out on the field in no time. Alejandro knew something was up, you spoke nothing of the mission and Valeria. He was worried, he needed to know where she was.

“You gotta work with me (L/n).” Alejandro pleads, “Where is Valeria?”

“...I lost contact with her when I reached her last known location.”

“Did she say anything before?”

“She said she was going dark. Nothing else.”

Of course, you tried to continue like nothing happened. Missions resumed and the numbers increased, the deaths of soldiers, the knowledge of the Mexican Army working for El Sin Nombre. Rodolfo saw the rise of drugs out in the streets, the tags of El Sin Nombre… It killed seeing his home being taken over by drugs.

“¡Vamos! ¡Muevete Muevete!” (Go! Move, move!) Alejandro shouts at his soldiers to move, everything was going smoothly, the location of El Sin Nombre was confirmed, but when he broke down the door with Rodolfo, guns were immediately fired. He considered himself lucky to miss all those bullets…

“Están justo detrás de nosotros, coronel. No podemos perderlos si estamos a la intemperie.” (They're right behind us, Colonel. We cannot lose them if we are out in the open.) Rodolfo tells him.

“Los perderemos en el bosque.” (We will lose them in the forest.) Alejandro shouts the exact words into the comms.

“(L/n)!” Alejandro runs up to you, “Set these charges. You’ll know what to do with them.” Handing you his bag. He pats your back and runs off, “¡Buena suerte!” (Good luck!)

“Oh great.” You mumble, you could hear the cartel from a distance. You didn’t place them, more like threw them wherever you could. Your heart raced as the ground shook, they were getting closer by the second.

With the bag now empty, you ditched it. The control in hand and you ran, bullets speeding past you and just grazing you, “Shit.” Taking cover behind a rock, clutching the control when they just cross the line. You try to shield yourself the best you can, feeling the heat, the smell of smoke and a metallic hint to it.

You peer your head over the rock, “Well…” You sigh, seeing the destruction, “Well that happened.” You see another vehicle charge in your direction. Tossing the control, you aim your rifle and begin fire on the vehicle.

It suddenly comes to a halt, the driver quickly running out and firing their pistol at you, “Go away!” That voice is all too familiar, “Don’t make me do this!” Valeria shouts, part of her figure being blocked by the smoke.

“Valeria?!”

“Who else did you think it was?!”

“I-I…” You hold your fire, “Why are you still working with them?!” You ask her, “You were there, you saw what they did!”

“I thought putting you in a coma will teach you!” Valeria slowly steps closer, “We either live or die.”

“You still haven’t answered my question!” Your throat begins to burn.

“I’m powerful. Nobody even dares to even look down at me. You remember, don’t you. Coming to my side, defending me whenever a man tries to better himself by bringing me down. Yet here, I’m respected!”

“This?!” You cough.

“Yes this!” Valeria shouts back, “Putting drugs out on the street, watching it affect people’s lives, ruin their childrens! But it’s more to just drugs (Y/n). As long as there is a war on terror, there will be no real war on drugs.”

“Screw you.” You cough even harsher, you may have ignored the fire growing in size and smoke filling the air. The fire rips through the trees like water flooding everything in its path.

“(Y/n)... You can’t get out of here on your own.” Valeria reaches out to touch you.

“Don’t touch me.” You growl.

“Quit being stubborn and let me-”

“(L/n)!” She hears Rodolfo, “¡¿Dónde estás?!” (Where are you?!)

Valeria curses under her breath, “You choose them over me?”

“At least they don’t keep secrets.”

Valeria shakes her head and runs back to her vehicle.

“Fuck!” Rodolfo nearly trips, “Come on!” Dragging you out of the forest.

Back at base, you and Rodolfo were getting checked for smoke inhalation. Alejandro was back in his office pacing back and forth while on the phone with Laswell.

“I know it’s difficult giving up one of your best soldiers.” Laswell spoke, “But we need someone like her, able to-”

“Throw herself into the fight?” Alejandro cuts her off, “Laswell, just because she’s one of my best soldiers doesn’t mean I can control her. She has fire, lots of fire. You should’ve seen her when Garza was still around.”

“I know. I’ve read the reports. If she agrees then I’ll send someone to pick her up.”

“It was great hearing from you Laswell.”

“Right back at you Alejandro.”

That was about three years ago. You wanted a fresh start, away from Valeria and everything. The same day you left was the day those flowers appeared on your bed. You remember talking about black dahlias to Valeria, elegance and prosperity, something that reminded you of her. They were the same flowers you gifted her on her birthday.

“Oh (Y/n).” Valeria smiles, holding the flowers in her arms, “You shouldn’t have.”

“Oi! Bonnie! You alive?” Johnny waves his hand just inches away from your face. He sees you snap out, “You’re spacing out a lot more than usual.” Johnny helps you attach your radio.

“I’m alright.”

“You were in Las Almas before…” Johnny looks over to you.

“Get to the point, MacTavish.” You sigh.

“Care to show me around? You know, all the popular sighs, bars?”

You shake your head and laugh, “You’re a child.” You joke.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it’s a yes MacTavish.” You laugh harder hearing Johnny cheer.

“We’re here.” Ghost interrupts the two of you, inside a military transport plane as the doors and ramp open up. You all walk out onto the base.

Alejandro walks up to you all, “Sergeant MacTavish!” Johnny and Alejandro shake hands.

“Call me Soap.”

Alejandro looks at Ghost, “Lieutenant… Laswell says they call you Ghost.”

“Actually, I believe he prefers to be-”

“That’ll do!”

Alejandro puts a hand on your shoulder, “Welcome back, (L/n). Are they treating you well?”

“You worry too much Vargas.”

“You’re still a Vaquero…” He turns around, “Welcome to the city of souls.” He leads you all to their convoy of jeeps.

“I’ve never been to Mexico.”

“This isn’t Mexico... This is Las Almas.”

“Shepherd’s contractors are inbound to reinforce. They’re bringing hardware, they’ll need room.”

“My base is your base.”

“Good. Now, where’s Hassan?”

“Cartel safe-house, ten clicks from here. Get in.”

You enter the lead jeep and Alejandro calls out to his men in the other jeeps. You were somewhat squished in between the two men.

“Rodolfo!” You happily shout, reaching over to pat his shoulder, “How have you been?”

“Welcome back, (Y/n). Everything would have been good if Alejandro was never-”

“Alejandro?” The two of you laugh.

Alejandro enters the jeep. Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra is in the driver's seat and takes a quick glance at Ghost, “This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra.”

“Tengo miedo de los fantasmas.” (I’m afraid of ghosts.)

Alejandro smiles and looks over at Johnny, “You know Spanish?”

“No.”

“You will…”

“What is your reason?” Valeria looks at you confused, “I mean…” You hesitate, careful to not overstep, “Why did you join the military?”

“Why did you join the military?”

“At first it was the benefits… but now seeing the streets become corrupted by El Sin Nombre, I guess you could say I joined for the same reason as Alejandro and Rodolfo.” You tell her.

“So you’re like the rest of them.” Valeria mutters, “I joined because I was looked down on, I wanted to prove my family wrong.”

“I couldn’t even say I’m surprised.” You stand next Alejandro, looking down at Valeria who’s glaring at you, “Becoming a narco was one thing but taking his place was another, you were basically signing away your life.”

“You signed yours away when you stayed with them.” Valeria scoffs, “She knew from the start that I was one of them!”

“I know.” Alejandro retorts, “More like I had an idea, after (Y/n)’s injury and your disappearance at the same time, I had a good idea.”

“You men talk and talk, big words with little meaning behind them. The only one true to their word was none other than (Y/n), her loyalty and her many near death experiences because she protected me, who she was loyal to.”

“That was a long time ago.” You tell her, “People change.”

“But you shouldn’t! You swore to be loyal to me until the end of our time, we were supposed to be together but you chose them over me!” Valeria was pushed back down by Graves, “That’s not what loyalty is (Y/n)!”

“And you were supposed to be loyal to the army, not the narcos.” You march off with a huff, hearing Valeria begin to argue with Alejandro and Rodolfo.

You were angered at the sight of black dahlias sitting in your temporary room, more like your old room. It couldn’t have been from Valeria… you snatched them out of its vase and tossed them in the trash, disregarding the little note attached to the flowers. Valeria’s words stung, it hurt, and it felt like you have betrayed her. Yet no matter the times you’ve told yourself that Valeria betrayed you first didn’t help, it felt like it was making it worse.

But you couldn’t say you hated Valeria, even when you stood in the shipping container…

“You kept me waiting.” Valeria speaks, one leg over the other, arms crossed like she’s some kind of mother scolding her children, “You do know I’m not patient.”

“I hoped that would’ve changed, you do get annoying.” You talk back.

Valeria’s eyes narrow towards you, her glare hardening, “That’s right, laugh it up! I bet you’re enjoying this. Seeing me like this! Allowing you to see me completely!”

“How should I believe you are when you didn’t in the past? How can I believe that becoming a narco was the best thing that ever happened to you?”

“You were supposed to have faith in me.”

“There’s a difference between faith and loyalty.”

“Either way… You were supposed to be by my side, ruling over Las Almas together.” Valeria explains, “You were supposed to join me that day, talking my hand while we kiss in blood soaked land.” She stands and walks over to you, cupping your face, “I missed you, a lot… Don’t you feel it?”

“Oh yeah.” You sigh, “This is like my dream… My drug dealer ex tries to ruin my life, the tingles.”

“Ex?” Valeria asks.

“You could say.” Pushing her hands off you, “But I wouldn’t consider you if anyone asks.”

“You really are cruel.”

“It’s what you once liked. Like I said, people change.”

Valeria again cups your face, even when you slap them away, “I always loved that about you. I was afraid you were going to catch too much attention. I needed you to change to keep you safe.”

“Safe… I wasn’t safe the second they partnered me with you.”

“Don’t you say that.”

“Oh I’m gonna say it!” You push her away from you, “I was never safe, those days I put my life on the line for you, thinking that we could change Las Almas but in reality you were making it worse. I should have never-”

Valeria covers your mouth, “Don’t say another word…” She moves her hand off your mouth and holds you tightly, “I know I’ve done things, terrible things that cannot be excused but they were mainly for you. I became what I am not because of respect but for you to love me. I love you, (Y/n), no matter what places we are in.”

“The damage is done…” You mumble.

“Then let me give you this before you go.” Valeria pulls back and kisses you softly, then she pulls away, “I love you.”

#x reader #fluff #x female reader #cod mw #valeria x reader #valeria garza x reader #valeria garza #cod valeria #cod mw22 #cod alejandro #cod modern warfare #cod x reader #cod x you #cod rodolfo #cod soap #cod ghost #cod angst

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the-silver-peahen-residence · 2 years

Note

Hokuto, Raizen, Sakura and Momiji showed up with their parents to introduce them to their lovers. You could definitely tell the resemblance with Hokuto and Momiji to their fathers.

Near the outside of the estate, Hex, Kai, Nobu, and Zen were hanging out while they were thinking of what they would do for the day. Though, they were talking about some things while eating some strawberry and cream cakes that Hanoka made for the estate today.

#IC #silver roses #ask answered #muses answered #curious peahen and peacock #hex #shadow butterfly healer/the demon doctor #hiroshi kai #energy demon/shadowed butterfly sniper #nobu shiroidaria #the silent one/white dahlia hunter #takumi(zen)#the river kitsune/water guardian #ask-the-monster-nest

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not-neverland06 · 9 months

Text

Broken Machinery

Pt. 4 (completed series)

Series masterlist

Connor RK800 x fem!reader

A/N: A long one, I wanted some more domestic moments between the two, sue me. Black dahlia’s represent betrayal (or it’s just a nice gift for that emo friend in your life)

Content Warnings: Cussing (duh), body breaking like fine china, shoulders out of sockets (not that bad but I googled a picture of one and it’s gross), overdose (but not really), past death of a child (not reader’s), readers got hair long enough to be in a braid, death of a pot

Word Count: 6.4k

Series Summary: You and your grumpy partner Anderson gain a new addition to the team. He’s supposed to be CyberLife’s best, but there’s something not quite right with his programming, and the problems seem to revolve around you.

Shoulders aren’t supposed to look like that. They’re sure as fuck not supposed to feel like that either. You can’t even lift your arm to peel off your jacket, you don’t have to though, they’re dislocated.

“Y/N!” Calloused hands on your wrist and then all of your body weight is jerked down and hanging from your shoulders, you can feel the moment they rip out of socket, you can’t help the guttural scream that rips its way out of your throat.

The pain from your everywhere is momentarily ignored as you lay in Hank’s lap, sobbing with the relief that you’re still alive. You’re not dead or a paraplegic somewhere in a hospital bed, you’re breathing. You can feel Hank trembling, you’re not sure from what, but he’s silent as he holds you.

You must be going into shock, you can’t really feel anything as he slowly gets you on your feet. You can’t feel your legs moving down the stairwell or him directing you towards the group of patrol cars. One moment you’re on the roof, then you blink, and you’re standing behind an ambulance being looked over by paramedics.

“Cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder,”

Guess it was only the one shoulder, then.

They’re looking you over to assess the damage done. You can just stare blankly down at your sneakers. You’re trying to remember what exactly happened on the roof. But it’s all a blur of adrenaline and primal panic.

He was holding you over the edge, talking to someone. Who?

“Detective! Lieutenant!” Your head shoots up, you ignore the stabbing pain that travels down your spine.

Connor, Connor will save you.

Except he didn’t, he walked away.

He walked away.

You yank your arm free from the paramedic, ignore Hank as he tries to stop you and storm over to Connor. You’d say the look on his face is proud, but you’re not gonna let your heart trick your mind into thinking this plastic son of a bitch can feel anything at all.

“Y/N, I’ve successfully apprehended the deviant.” You’ve still got one good arm. You don’t aim for his face, that won’t do any good, you punch him right in the bio component and watch him crumple to the floor. When hes down you kick your foot into the same spot as hard as fucking possible, ignoring any pain that it brings you.

“Congratu-fucking-lations.”

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

It’s been two days and the detective still refuses to acknowledge Connor. He’d tried to explain his reasoning for leaving her in favor of catching the deviant.

FIND Y/N

Connor double checked the door on the hospital room, he could hear Hank and Y/N bickering from inside. “What did the doctors say?” There was a pause before she responded.

“Another day of bed rest,” she sounded reluctant to answer. Connor hadn’t been able to speak with her after the incident on the roof; he'd had to go straight to CyberLife technicians for repairs. She’d done considerable damage to his biocomponent.

Maybe I deserved it.

“Then get your ass back in bed.”

“Hank, please, I’ve suffered a lot worse than this and made it out perfectly fine.”

Hank didn’t sound amused, and there was a loud thud as something landed on sheets. “I don’t care, Y/N! You’re staying right there, it’s not just your fucking physical issues you have to worry about. I’ve never seen you act like that before, I’m worried about what that fall did to your head.” There was a moment of silence and Connor thought it was a smart time to go inside.

There seemed to be a strange, different sort of silence when he walked into the room. Connor wished his hands were free, there were no objectives or dialogue options to pick from as Hank and Y/N both turned towards him. His hands were full, he looked down to the potted black dahlia between them.

He outstretched his hands and moved towards Y/N. She just stared at him from her spot on the bed, unsure of what to do now, he looked to Hank for an order.

The Lieutenant was watching him with crossed arms and an undetermined look on his face.

Connor cleared his throat and placed the flower down on the table near the bed. He scanned her, a minor concussion, two cracked ribs, and one dislocated shoulder. Her heartbeat was increasing the longer he stared, adrenaline and cortisol reaching a level that told him she was very upset about something.

“Your arm seems to be healing at a good pace. You should listen to the Lieutenant, a couple more days rest and you’ll be feeling much better.” The room remained silent and Connor reached up to fix his already perfect tie. There was something odd about him as he felt the stares of his partners. Something inside felt off.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

“I’m programmed with psychological software that could help you after recovering from a strong shock.”

SUPPORT

ANALYTICAL

STAY QUIET

Connor immediately knew what he said was the wrong choice.

“A strong shock?” Your voice was quiet enough that he almost didn’t catch what you said, but the room was so deathly still it was impossible for you not to be heard. “A strong shock?” You were quickly gaining in volume. “You left me to fucking die! And for what, for the goddamn android to smash its fucking brains out on the interrogation table before we got anything! I would have died for nothing!”

Connor opened his mouth, prepared to argue his side of the problem, but you cut him off with a quiet question he wasn’t expecting. “What was the chance?”

“Sorry?”

You walked up closer to him and tugged his tie so hard he stumbled into you, you used the shock of the movement to jerk him down lower than you. “The chance of my survival, RK800, what was it?”

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

That strange feeling was back, the use of his model instead of his name made him feel wrong.

He shouldn’t be feeling at all.

When he took too long to answer you knocked his legs out from under him and tightened your grip on the tie. “40%,” he tried to keep his voice as quiet as possible but it was clear both you and the liteuant heard him.

You released him like it had burned you to keep holding on to his tie, and the Lieutenant muttered a quiet, “Fucking bastard.” Connor opened his mouth, unsure of what to say, but wanting this feeling to stop and needing the tears forming in the corners of your eyes to go away.

You and the bag you had been packing were gone by the time he had gotten to his feet, Hank stayed behind a moment, gave Connor a long look before following after you. Connor straightened his tie and sleeves and stared at his shoes. He didn’t know what to do.

There was no objective, there was nobody to give him an order. He lifted his eyes to the flower sitting on the table in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye he ignored the way his LED flashed red in a mirror as he reached forwards and grabbed the potted plant.

Connor looked down at his hand and noticed he was holding an umbrella, he was back in the Zen Garden. Amanda was waiting for him on the other side of the bridge.

They walked under the umbrella together. “That deviant seemed to be an intriguing case, a pity it deactivated before you could get any useful information out of it.”

Connor felt the need to defend himself, “Deviants are extremely irrational, which makes it difficult to anticipate their behavior… I should have been more effective.” The last part of his sentence came out without any thought behind it. Like it was an instinct to automatically blame himself, even though no one would know what the deviant could have been planning.

“Did you manage to learn anything?” Connor told her of the strange drawings on the walls, the ones like mazes and the journal that had a strange code inside it. He still had no explanation for rA9 and he could tell Amanda was disappointed.

“You captured the deviant at the cost of your relationship with the detective, have you made any development in that fixing that?”

Connor couldn’t help but think of your face in the hospital room, you were angry yes, but you also seemed . . . Sad.

Connor wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was guilt, but he knew he shouldn’t be feeling anything at all.

“She still hasn’t forgiven me for leaving her to fall. We had an altercation in her hospital room, after the fact and whatever good grace we had developed seems to have been erased.” Connor stopped once he realized Amanda was no longer following.

“We don’t have much time. Deviancy continues to spread, it’s only a matter of time before the media finds out about it. We need to stop this, whatever it takes.”

Connor straightened his shoulders back and looked down at her, “I will solve this investigation, Amanda. I won’t disappoint you.”

“Don’t let relationships get in the way of success, Connor. Improve on them if you can, but remember their lives mean nothing in the grand scheme of your mission.”

“Detective?” Connor knocked on your door again. You lived in a house about fifteen minutes away from the lieutenant’s. He’d attempted to contact Anderson to get your address, he’d hung up every time he’d realized it was Connor calling him. Eventually he just used the information from your personnel file.

Which is how he ended up peering through your windows, trying to catch a glimpse of where you were. Eventually he managed to get a small peak through one of your blinds in the living room. You were asleep on the couch, the TV playing, and there was something in your hand. Connor pressed his face fully against the glass and alarms went through his processors at what he saw.

Pills were spilled on the ground and the bottle was empty in the loose grip of your hand. Connor attempted a scan to see if you were even breathing, but after unsuccessfully trying to wake you up and get your attention he simply broke the glass.

Connor quickly dove through the window and rushed to your side on the couch. He took in your appearance, your mouth was open, barely any breath going in or out. Your lips and nails were discolored and there was a clammy feeling to your skin when Connor pressed his hand to your forehead. He needed to get you awake and alert, first and foremost.

He lightly brought his hand down on your cheek, you shifted but stayed unconscious. “I’m sorry, Y/N, but I need you to wake up.”

He brought his hand down harder and your hand immediately swung out in response. Connors cheek whipped to the left at the force of your slap, it didn’t hurt of course, but it still shocked him.

“What the hell? Connor? Did you just slap me?” Connor looked down at you, extremely confused at your sudden alertness. He couldn’t stop you in time to not notice what he had done to your window. “The fuck? Did you break my goddamn window?” You used his face as an assist in pushing yourself off the couch, his hands went to your hips to stabilize you.

Connor stood as you kneeled down by the broken glass on your ground, swaying slightly. “Shit, I can’t afford to fix this,” you groaned at the sight of the rain pouring into the empty frame. “My things! They’re all getting wet.” Connor walked over and moved anything around the frame to the wall, making sure nothing besides your carpet would get wet. You were silent as you went and retrieved some plastic to cover the window up. Connor wanted to say something to you, but he was unsure what would help the situation.

“Why did you bust in here like the Kool-Aid Man?”

“I thought you had overdosed.” You seemed to finally take in the mess around the couch.

“Oh, crap.” Connor watched you as you picked up the pills and put them back in the bottle, he finished up the window and moved towards where you were sitting on the couch. Your head was in your hands like it was bringing you pain.

Your voice snapped him out of his observation. “You know, for a state of the art android, you’re a real dumbass.” Connor looked down at you, his face must have displayed something he couldn’t identify because you laughed a little.

“My nails look weird because I haven’t finished painting them,” you pointed towards the nail polish bottles on your coffee table. “I haven’t used any chapstick or taken my iron supplements, so there’s lips. And I got tired and fell asleep with the pill bottle in my hand. I was gonna take one for my headache but passed out after I opened the damn thing, which is probably why my head hurts so much.”

Connor was disappointed with himself at everything he had missed, he should have seen all that from the window and not taken such drastic measures. His damage to your domicile had only worsened relations between you. Right now, you hated him worse than Hank.

“You were barely breathing.”

You shot him a deadpan look, “Deep sleeper.” Connor fixed his tie and looked around the house for something to occupy himself with. There was trash everywhere, dirty clothes scattered the ground, and old dished piled in the sink.

“Hey, hey! I don’t need your judgy ass android eyes making me feel bad for my pig sty. Okay?”

“Allow me to help, detective.” Your eyes narrowed, you didn’t seem particularly trusting towards Connor. He couldn't blame you, he’d completely destroyed the small bridge of trust he’d managed to make with both you and the lieutenant. “Your shoulder and ribs are still damaged, I understand it’s difficult to take care of yourself right now. Allow me to help you.”

You laid back down on the couch, and Connor thought you were going to ignore him until you spoke up after a couple of moments of silence. “You’re a detective bot, not a house maid.” You paused before waving your hand through the air. “But sure, whatever, knock yourself out. Just stop fucking standing over me like that.” Connor watched you close your eyes, he continued standing there for a few seconds. You seemed to be faking sleep to try and get him away from you.

At least he finally had an objective he could follow now.

TAKE CARE OF Y/N

He started with the kitchen. Cleaning the takeout boxes off the counter and grabbing any dirty dishes scattered around your home. He stopped when picking some napkins off your coffee table, to check on you. Your breathing had settled and your back was turned towards him. You appeared to actually be asleep this time.

Connor frowned at the position your body was in. You were going to do more harm than good sleeping on your worn down couch. He placed the trash can on the ground and stepped silently towards you. He made sure to be as still and gentle as possible as he slowly rolled you into his arms. You only moved once, to settle your head in his neck.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

He ignored the way his thirium pump seemed to move faster and how the blue blood rushes towards his head. It simply wasn’t possible.

Connor went down the hall and to your bedroom on the right. He gently deposited you into your unmade bed and tucked the sheets over your body. He checked your pulse and scanned your body. Everything seems to be working perfectly.

You were just a disturbingly deep sleeper.

On his way out, something shining on the ground caught his eye. He made his way towards your dresser, at the foot of it appeared to be a picture frame. He looked over his shoulder to ensure you were still asleep before he bent down and grabbed it.

You appeared to be around nineteen years old. You were sitting on a roundabout smiling at the camera, your hair done in two French braids. Your arms were wrapped around a young boy around the age of three. He had his hand around your forearms and was making a strange face at the camera with his tongue out. Neither of you seemed aware your picture was being taken at the moment.

The scan confirmed your identity and gave him the identity of the boy.

DECEASED

Anderson, Cole

9/23/2029-10/11/2035.

Y/LN, Y/N

DPD Detective

Other known aliases:

Y/N ANDERSON

Hank had a son, who had died? You both appeared close in this picture. It’s approximately three years before Cole’s death. Could the death of Hank’s son be what caused the drift between the two of you?

Connor heard you shift on the bed and quickly put the picture back down on the floor. He didn’t believe you would appreciate him further investigating your life. Not when you got so upset with him when he simply took a look at your adoption papers.

Connor examined this new piece of information. It was like he was working two cases at once, solving the deviancy problem.

And trying to figure out your unfortunate past with the Lieutenant. Knowing now that the Lieutenant's son had died he could go ahead and assume that’s when your relationship started to go downhill. A year after Cole’s death is when Hank’s divorce became official, according to the papers he not so legally acquired.

The death of a child will often destroy families, if Hank could no longer be a viable partner to his wife, then perhaps he could also no longer be a father to you.

Judging by the Lieutenants drinking habits he didn’t have a healthy view on mental health, or know how to properly deal with grief.

The way you seem to isolate yourself when Connor brings up your past or tries to have a better understanding of your emotional well being, he can also go ahead and come to the conclusion that Hank passed on his unhealthy coping skills to you.

His assumption is proved correct when he comes across a packet of cigarettes buried between the couch cushions. They’re unopened but the plastic surrounding the carton has been picked at. You seem to be trying to stop yourself from giving in to your unhealthy impulses.

Connor frowns down at the box and decides to do you a favor, he throws them in the trash.

Connor continues cleaning up your home while you sleep, attempting to wash and dry your dishes as quietly as possible. The cleaning gives himself something to occupy his mind with, the frantic, buzzing thoughts about deviants and his frustrating partners temporarily quiet while he focuses on one singular task.

PROTECT Y/N

Connor always accomplishes his missions, even if that just means making sure you can wake up to a clean home, or if he has to protect you from self-sabotaging habits.

You wake up to the smell of smoke and a loud blaring alarm.

You’re soaked in a puddle of your own sweat and have no idea where you are or what day it is. Your head shoots up from your pillow at the sound of something crashing onto the floor in your kitchen. You take a second to realize that you’ve been moved to your bed.

Then you remember what woke you up and you’re bolting out of bed. “Jesus Christ,” your kitchen is a smoky haze as you cough on the suffocating smell of something burned. Connor is standing in front of a pan on your stove, simply watching the flames. “Connor!” You grab a lid off the counter and shove him out of the way as you slam it over the pan, suffocating the flames. You quickly grab the metal sheet off the ground and slam it into Connor’s chest. “Quick make sure the sprinklers don’t go off.” Connor runs towards the alarm in the hallway and immediately starts waving it around.

The sight of Connor, the emotionless android who is always calm and collected, frantically running around waving a metal pan in the air, jumping up and down to get closer to the smoke alarm makes you double over in laughter. There’s an ache in your rbis and arm from the force of your laughter, but you don’t care. You haven’t felt this light for years, you haven’t laughed like that in years.

So you allow yourself to bask in the moment, one peaceful moment where you’re not weighed down by anything, except the weight of your own joy.

Connor didn’t hear you laughing until he finally managed to get the alarm quieted. The joints in his shoulders were tired from his wild maneuvering, but it was worth it. This was the first time since you met that his observation of you showed endorphins and a positive change in your body, not one that comes from feelings of negativity.

It felt like something was in his chest, lifting him up and lightening his weight as he watched you.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY^

Perhaps you did more damage when you attacked him than he originally thought. Your face contorted in pain as you finally raised up from your position. Connor moved before his processors could give him the option to. He tried to be as gentle as possible as he assisted you in standing. He pointedly ignored your protests that you didn’t need help.

You did and you were getting help whether you wanted it or not.

There was still a slight smile on your face as Connor deposited you on the chair next to your table. He moved towards the stove and turned off the burner, dropping the ruined pot in your sink and running water over it, your house still smelled very strongly of burnt food.

He heard a grunt coming from his right, when he turned something inside his head felt strange. LIke he wasn’t okay with what was happening, perhaps humans called this irritation. A concerning thought, but one he ignored in favor of nudging you aside while you failed to open a window.

“Connor-”

The look he shot you when he turned around was enough to get you to sit back down. “Why are you so stubborn? You should not be here alone, you’ve taken too much damage to even do basic household chores.”

You looked around your house and finally noticed all the hard work he had put in. “Holy shit.” There was a look of appreciation on your face until you turned towards Connor. A pout formed on your face and you crossed your arms like a petulant child, “Maybe I wanted the mess. I liked it like that.”

Were you seriously having this argument with him right now? You being difficult for no reason was causing his programming to go haywire. There were red warnings in the corner of his eye telling him he was going to overheat, he dismissed them and stormed towards you.

His hand landed on the table more harshly than he intended, causing you to jump in your seat. “You’re behaving like a child, Y/N, you’re a grown woman act like it! You need my help, there’s nothing wrong with letting me assist you, so just let me help you.” Without consciously activating it the voice he uses during intimidation tactics had been used.

His eyes were drawn down to your thighs, you had them clenched tightly together, your thighs pooling out on the chair below you. Your lips parted slightly as you stared at him. Connor quickly scanned you, your heat level was rising, your heart rate had accelerated and there was an increased level of estrogen and testosterone production. A thermal scan showed an increase of heat in your pelvic area.

ACTIVATE SEXUAL SUBROUTINE?

It wasn’t until the message appeared in front of him and blocked his view of your face did he realize how close he was to you.

This was highly inappropriate. You were injured and still upset with him, there was no need to seduce you.

ACTIVATE SEXUAL SUBROUTINE

He was designed with the intent to complete his mission at any cost. In case there was ever an issue between him and one of his partners and other more illicit methods were needed to gain their support, he was equipped with the capabilities to do so. This wasn’t a situation where methods like that were necessary, so why was there a prompt for it?

Connor backed away from you immediately, it wasn’t right to be taking advantage of your emotional vulnerability. From the corner of his eye he saw you slump back down into your chair. “What-“ you cleared your throat. “What were you even trying to make?”

Connor looked back towards the pot, his hands reached for the coin in his pocket. He needed to do something to get his software back in order. He didn’t turn to look at you, knowing he wouldn’t be able to focus. He thought back to the pasta sauce on your counter. “Spaghetti, for some reason the noodles burned onto the bottom of the pot.” After he was done recalibrating he placed the coin back in his pocket and found it was okay to look at you now.

Your eyes were glued to his hand for a moment before they shot back up to his face. “Burned, to the bottom of the pot? How the hell do you burn water?”

Connor tilted his head to the side, “Water?”

Your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened. “You’re kidding? Tell me you’re kidding.” Connor didn't know how to respond to you so he remained silent. “Oh my god,” you dropped your head into your hands. “You didn’t put water in the pot.”

“Was that required?” You didn’t answer him, instead you stood and walked over to the sink, Connor followed behind you, unsure what you wanted him to do. The both of you stared down into the pot as you lifted the lid, the pasta has blackened at the bottom. Even when you stabbed at it with a knife it wouldn’t come off the pot.

Your, “yeah, it needed water,” was quiet as you went outside and tossed the pot in your trash bin. Connor stood by your opened back door awkwardly, he didn’t feel good at disappointing you and failing his task.

“I apologize Y/N, I failed.”

You snorted, “Big time, how the hell do you not know to put water in the pot?”

Connor looked down at his shoes, “I was not built with cooking capabilities,” he risked a look at you.

You were standing there, just staring at him with your arms crossed before you finally shrugged, “Well then… I guess Barbie’s got you beat.”

“Dammit, Connor, I can feed myself!”

Connor leveled you with a look that allowed for no arguing. “Your dominant arm is dislocated and you refuse to wear your sling, I’m going to assist you.” He pushed the fork against your mouth again and you reluctantly opened your mouth to eat the pancakes he had ordered. This was so humiliating, you were desperate to get him to leave at this point.

After the pot had been destroyed and subsequently disposed of he had ordered some food and you sat down in your living room.

Your entire home was absolutely spotless, when you went to the bathroom you’d noticed he’d mopped the tiles. You were not asleep long enough for him to clean your living room, let alone your whole house.

While you were still against the idea, you could understand why some would prefer android cleaning services to human. You didn’t even want to sit on your couch, afraid of wrinkling the now pristine cousins.

Once you’d sat on your couch, you’d waited for him to leave.

Except, he didn’t, he sat down next to you and then just stopped moving. No blinking, no breathing, just absolute stillness. So, still being pissed at him you’d grabbed a marker off your desk and scribbled some drawings on his face. A heart, random flower, some choice words, nothing too bad. However;

They were staring at you right now as he force fed you.

He’d called a repairman while you had drawn on him, someone would be coming by to fix your window tomorrow, CyberLife would be footing the bill. After he’d made the order for the repair he’d asked what you would like to eat and made a call for the pancakes.

He still hadn’t noticed the drawings, it was a struggle not to choke on your laughter.

You forced a yawn as you pushed his hand away from your mouth, he frowned at the action. “Are you tired, detective?”

“Yeah, I am,” now please get the hell out of my house.

“You should bathe before you go to sleep.” Your head shot towards his, the action hurting your neck. You ignored it in favor of giving him your famous The Fuck Did You Just Say™️ look.

First, he lets you fall off a building and nearly die. Next, he breaks your god damn window and destroys your pot. Now he’s saying you stink. And good grace you held for Connor was gone, obliterated at the comment.

“That’s it Connor. You’ve stayed far past your welcome, I’m done.” Your resolve almost broke at the way Connor’s shoulders slumped. You straightened your shoulders, ignored the pain shooting down your arm, and rebuilt your walls.

You should thank Connor honestly, him letting you nearly die had reminded you of exactly what he was. Nothing more than a plastic soldier that only cared about his mission. You meant nothing to him. Your life was nothing. How could something that could so easily be put into a new body have any idea about death. He couldn’t.

But something that couldn’t die, also couldn’t feel. Those small touches, and the times he would check in on you, it was all manipulation. Just like the way he lied about having a favorite dog, they were all subtle little manipulations to have you as agreeable as possible. And a visceral rage filled you at the thought that he had almost succeeded.

Your heart had almost been his.

You rebuilt your walls and stared him down. “Leave. Now.”

Connor didn’t frown, he didn’t cry or scream at you to let him stay, but the look in his eyes as he stared up at you from his spot on your couch said enough. He looked genuinely hurt at what you said. Not possible.

“You can take your sad little eyes and you can shove them up your ass, Connor. Get the fuck out of my house.” You stormed out of the living room and into your bedroom. He’d cleaned it up and replaced your sheets while you’d waited for the food to arrive.

The lack of your mess made you angrier than it should have. How dare he just come into your house and start acting like he belonged there?

Like he had any right to be near you?

If he could feel pain you would beat him twice as bad as you did after the rooftop incident.

Apparently he’d had to get three parts replaced by CyberLife after what you did. Hank had been complaining about the paperwork the entire time you were in the hospital.

If your arms and ribs weren’t aching you would be pitching a major fit, and ripping the goddamn sheets right off the bed. At the moment, however, the pill Connor had forced you to take was kicking in and making you sluggish.

The only reason you had allowed Connor to stay in the first place was because you were still waking up from your nap. He seemed determined to keep you weak and tired so you couldn’t get rid of him.

You heard footsteps and then a hand was wrapped around your non-injured elbow. “I’m not leaving, detective. Someone in your condition needs assistance.” You turned around in his arms and tried to push him off of you, but he wouldn’t budge. Both of his hands moved to your biceps. The look he gave you made you stop, “Y/N, please, let me help. Please.” He seemed so sad, there was a slump to his shoulders that made him look almost shameful. The tone of his voice made you believe he actually wanted to help, that this wasn’t a part of his programming.

You blamed how easily you gave into him on the drugs.

“Absolutely not!”

Connor was holding your towel in front of him like a shield. “I won’t look, detective, I promise.”

“Hell no! Line drawn! You shall not pass.” He gave you a stern look. Like you should feel dumb for thinking he wanted to see you naked, maybe you were, but you didn’t want any pervy CyberLife techs scanning through his mainframe and seeing footage of you naked. “I’m not gonna let your bosses see me naked.”

Connor seemed to catch onto your train of thought. “I won’t be recording when you’re bathing, I promise we’ll be completely alone.” You crossed your arms, this is one battle he would not be winning. Android or not, your stubbornness was not something to be so easily reckoned with. Connor let out a long sigh, “Fine. You clean yourself, and then we can draw a bath and I’ll assist you with your hair.”

You’d made the mistake of admitting to him that you hadn’t exactly been keeping up with your hygiene while you’d been on the case. You’d been keeping your hair in two braids and have been taking quick showers in between working the case. It was one of your more major flaws. Letting yourself get swept up in the mystery at the expense of your own self-care.

You’d also made the mistake of telling him that it hurt too much to wash your hair, or even attempt to. Now he was insisting on helping you.

Connor looked at your arms and mimicked your posture. “We can stand here all night, detective, I’m not budging.”

You were standing there for two minutes before you realized he was actually being serious. Your chest was starting to ache with the effort of keeping yourself upright. You shifted around and he didn’t even blink. Your skin was starting to buzz with boredom.

After another minute you saw that he wasn’t blinking. Narrowing your eyes and moving closer to his face you waved your hand in front of his face. “Are you serious?” He’d gone into sleep mode, you could tell by the pulsing yellow LED on the side of his face. “Bitch.” And he had ‘coincidentally’ blocked the bathroom exit. Groaning you took the towel in his hands and threw it over his head.

“RK800 wake up.”

Connor’s systems slowly came back online at the sound of your voice. Everything was at 100%, except his optical units didn’t seem to be processing his environment correctly. It took a second before his sensors recognized the fabric of a towel over his head. He sighed and ripped it off his head.

The sight before him had him momentarily stopping. You were in your freshly cleaned tub, bubbles covering your body as you looked at him expectantly. “You wanna help me out or what, sleeping beauty?”

ACTIVATE SEXUAL SUBROUTINES?

SYSTEM OVERHEAT IMMINENT

ACTIVATING COOLING SYSTEM

You looked concerned by the time Connor had managed to calm his sensors, there were parts of him coming online that were not necessary at this moment. He tightened his tie as a poor attempt to get everything back in order. It didn’t work, he was still distracted by your lack of clothes. He could not understand why.

“I’m starting to get creeped out, Connor.” That got Connor’s attention. He never meant to make you uncomfortable.

He moved to sit beside the tub and pulled up his sleeves. “Apologies, detective, my systems were coming back online.” You nodded your head and he hoped you couldn’t see through the lie. Connor used the pitcher beside him to wet your hair and began massaging your scalp as he rubbed the shampoo in.

You moaned as his hands came down to rub your neck. It triggered another cooling process. Much of the rest of your bath was the same, he was struggling with strange impulses that were activating outside his control and programming. When you had leaned your head back on the rim of the tub he’d wanted to press his lips against your stretched neck.

He’d seen humans do it before, but the emotions connected to the act were something Connor wasn’t capable of. He was experiencing what some might call a mental crisis as he helped you wash your hair.

When he was finished, he handed you a towel and went to your room to grab you some pajamas. The picture of you and Cole was facedown on your dresser, moved from the upright position he had placed it in while he had cleaned.

He placed the tank top and shorts you requested on your sink and waited for you in your bedroom. When you walked in you seemed surprised to see him standing by your bed. Your face quickly morphed into one of resignation as you threw your towel on your bed.

Connor made a note to pick it up.

“What now?” He held out the brush in his hands.

“I’ll braid it for you, so you don’t have to worry about styling it with your injured shoulder.” You stopped fidgeting with the end of your shirt and instead gave him a bewildered look. “Is something wrong, detective?”

You cleared your throat before answering, “Nothing it’s- Nevermind.” You sat on your bed with no argument, something Connor was surprised by, considering you seemed to find it necessary to argue with him about everything.

By the second braid you were fully leaning onto his leg, Connor had to keep readjusting so he had room to finish off the braid. The medicine seemed to have fully kicked in, you didn’t make a fuss when he gently guided you under the covers and turned your light off. He knew you were still awake as he made his way to your door.

“Good night, detective.”

He didn’t get a response.

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