#do i not fucking deserve that? do i not get bodily autonomy bc im a minor? fuck you
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hejehge
#i cant wait to get out of this fucking house#still a few years until i can legally move out and even then i probably won’t be able to for a few more years bc of money#my dad gets mad at me for showing any emotion ever or being anything other than the perfect golden child#no one will fucking believe me that im autistic and disabled#i get fatigued from walking out of a fucking restaurant to the parking lot! look me in the eyes and tell me thats normal!#but just because im fat thats the reason for all my issues#thats why i have chronic pain and i just don’t exercise enough when they fucking know IM IN RECOVERY FOR ANOREXIA#and my dad wont stop talking about weight loss in front of me even when i ask him to stop because its triggering for me because im#just a fucking snowflake i guess#one time i asked him to stop talking about his diet or whatever when im around and he said no but i could use it myself! AND HE WONDERS WHY#IM FUCKING RELAPSING AGAIN#literally the past entire week i’ve just been repeating ‘no food is as harmful as an eating disorder’ bc its all that will fucking stop me#and he wont believe that i have tics for some reason so i have to fucking suppress them all around him if i dont want to get screamed at#and mid july of 2022 im still not vaccinated for covid. bc my dad is a conservative that doesnt give enough of a shit about me to get it#the only vaccinated person in my family is my mom and my dad didnt want her to get it either#but she says shes an adult so she has bodily autonomy#do i not fucking deserve that? do i not get bodily autonomy bc im a minor? fuck you#and i’ve told both my parents multiple times that i dont like when people touch me without permission except for my friends#ESPECIALLY ON MY FUCKING HIPS AND THIGHS AND ASS#BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAY BC THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT I WANT#i dont fucking care how shitty adulthood is i dont care aboyt the stresses it gives me i just want to be fucking out of here#i want to be out of here i want to be with people that fucking respect me like my parents don’t#i don’t want to be abused anymore i just want to feel safe in my own fucking home#and i feel like such a spoiled brat because i have everything i need given to me because im a fucking child but im complaining anyways and#logically i know i have every right to complain bc theyre not giving me privileges theyre givimg me basic human rights and even then only#some of them. i dont have fucjing bodily autonomy from the people i should be able to expect it from and i dont have respect or fucking love#the only thing keeping me fucking alive right now is the promise that one day i’ll get out of here#and its fucking terrifying knowing you’re relapsing into anorexia again but its so fucking hard to stop it#its got a fucking grip on me and its so fucking hard to get out of it#vent
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ooo i’m here for another google doc essay thesis on all the zelda trans narratives <33 lol cited sources and everything (if you have time of course, i love reading all of your headcanons on loz)
god. okay this is every mainline game ive played (excluding sequels with the same characters) except skyward sword because i forgot about it at first and now im tired. here
oot/mm
Basically the entirety of oot is a super-intense wartime coming-of-age story, dealing specifically with the trauma of losing one’s childhood to war/being a child in wartime. Any coming-of-age can be easily analyzed through a trans lens imo, but oot lends itself particularly well to this reading.
For the first nine years of his life, link is told that he is a kokiri. He spends all of his childhood trying desperately to fit in with the kokiri, even though he and the kokiri he grows up with can tell that he is out of place somehow. When he leaves the forest and grows up, it clicks into place that he was never kokiri. And it HURTS. He was lied to. But he suddenly finds himself BELONGING for the first time, among hylians. One of the most impactful npcs in the series is, imo, malon, who link bonds with, feels connected to, and who GROWS UP just like him. She is a representation of everything link gains by leaving the forest. The chance to grow up, and the chance to be among people like himself and understand for the first time who he truly is.
I don’t think i have to explain the subtext i'm getting at here. Replace kokiri with gender-at-birth and you have yourself a trans story.
There are also, of course, points to be made about link’s lack of bodily autonomy throughout the story and his reclamation of it in mm. Link is, in the eyes of basically every adult in oot, a pawn to be used to win a war. He is something to be molded into the shape THEY need him to be. This is a common conflict in loz--the hero NEEDS to be the hero, and so he is given no room to define himself otherwise.
Again. Do i have to explain the trans reading of this?? Adults who feel entitled to you for whatever reason refusing to let you define yourself in a way that doesn’t appeal to them, and viewing you as an object to be shaped into THEIR perfect image. Classic trans kid experience.
Zelda i think is even more obvious because she literally physically transes her gender in the game. For no reason. A female ninja would have been fine. Female ninjas exist in this world. Impa is the obvious example. Zelda became a boy because he wanted to be a boy. This is factual, canonical story. I dont even NEED to go on but i WILL because i can.
The subtextual reading of trans zelda is even more fun imo. This is a kid who grew up functionally powerless. She KNEW ganon was going to destroy hyrule but she could not make adults hear her, and when things went wrong it was her fault. Sheik is, in many ways, a rejection of zelda. She does away with the ancestral name denoting wisdom because she was not wise enough to save her kingdom from ruin. he chooses sheik instead, a name derived from the historic guardians of hylia, and by extension hyrule. he reclaims the power he lost by, again, defining himself where he was never allowed to before.
Personally i consider oot zel to be nonbinary and use she/he and the names sheik and zelda interchangeably. I really love the idea of a kid who grew up with so little control over anything in her life taking it all back and then deliberately fucking with some established rules anyway, just as a little show of power now that he has it. It’s what she deserves.
Alttp
A LOT of my reading in this is totally rooted in subtext/analysis rather than actual canon material. If you haven’t read my analysis of alttp in my analysis doc i suggest you do bc some of that context may be needed to explain what i say here, since alttp is an older game so there’s much less actual canon characterization to go off of.
There is a moment in this game, once you have gone through several dungeons and claimed the master sword and fought the secondary antagonist twice, where link is transported into the dark world. A mirror dimension in which his human form is distorted into a form that “reflects his inner self.” He looks into the mirror and he does not recognize the person looking back at him.
The form he takes is a rabbit, which is, in my opinion, a reflection of his inner fear and the fact that he doesn’t want to be a hero. This link is a young boy who basically loses the only family he has and is then instantly thrown into the midst of a conflict he doesn’t fully understand.
There are two points to be drawn from this. The first is the distorted self-image revealed in the dark world, which. The connection to transgenderism should probably be obvious from here. I’d say looking in the mirror and not quite recognizing yourself is a near-universal trans experience.
The second is that, although this game is much less obvious about it, this link is in a very similar situation to oot link, in that he has been thrown into a conflict he doesn't understand and doesn’t really have any stake in, in order to be used as a pawn to win a war. (worth noting that if we follow the timeline, oot link has to DIE for this game to happen. They never fucking learn ig) so we have a repeat of the same situation in which link’s autonomy is taken from him by adults who want him to be a hero. Ive already explained the trans reading of this. You get the idea
Im skipping zelda in this one because it came out in 1991 so zelda is barely a character. Shes trans because i say so. Next
Tp
Twilight princess did not do very well on a multitude of things. We all know how i feel. HOWEVER. There is something to be said for the fact that when link approaches people in wolf form they recoil in fear and disgust. And he canonically doesn’t expect this. It disturbs him. He KNOWS these people. He’s still the same person inside. Nothing has changed for him except the way he looks. But now no one will so much as look at him.
To be quite honest. The wolf form was a bit of a thematic L in my opinion. I don’t think it had much narrative purpose and my best guess is that it was there to give tp a “brand-new fun gameplay” draw. But the fact that everyone is TERRIFIED of you was a good choice imo. I wish it had been followed through on thematically but I digress. There is transgenderism here. When you go back to your hometown and nothing has changed, as far as you’re concerned, but people avoid your eyes now. You haven’t changed, not really. You just look a little different. But the people either hate you or don’t recognize you now, and in some ways you’re glad, but in other ways you feel… alien.
Zelda also isn’t a real character in this game but it doesn’t get an excuse because it came out in fucking 2006. We knew women were people by then guys come on. Anyways shes also trans because i say so. I dont feel like thinking about twilight princess any longer lol sorry
Ww
Im going to start with zelda/tetra here because i have a lot more to say about her lmao
Tetra is a wild, loud, stubborn, angry pirate. She is the exact opposite of what your average hylian might imagine a goddess-blood princess to be. She’s rude, she’s volatile, she looks out for herself and no one else. This is an image she has curated. But she is also kind. She lets link on her ship when he begs her to help him save his sister. she slips him a good-luck charm before he storms the fortress. She takes aryll home and never asks for payment. She is a pirate, but she does these things that seem so strangely… at odds with herself. I think a lot of her tough exterior is a curated image, for the benefit of her crew, yes, but also herself. If she is stubborn and loud and angry and unlikable then she is less likely to get hurt.
Tetra learns who she is, and she is suddenly a new person, a different person. She’s zelda. And she’s so CONFUSED. She tries her hand at being a princess. She sits and waits patiently for her hero to come back to her. But in the end, she can’t even do THAT right. Things go wrong again, all because of her.
During the final battle of this game, zelda fights alongside you with the bow of light. I believe this was one of the first games in which she does this.
This is a nonbinary narrative. Tetra tries so hard to fit into one box or the other, princess or pirate, but can never quite master either. During the final confrontation, though, she finds a happy medium. She is kind, wise zelda, in her regalia with her hair untied, but she is also stubborn, angry tetra drawing her bow to fight alongside link. She will not be defined.
she/they tetra ftw lol. anyways
Wind waker link honestly has much less textual evidence for me than like. Any other link because imo wind waker is almost completely a clear-cut coming-of-age. It’s very easy to read (almost) any coming-of-age as a trans narrative but much less easy to actually explain that read.
My stance kind of boils down to this: link has a clear-cut arc of growth in this story from a weak, inexperienced kid into a soldier who is capable of taking on ganon. This arc is kickstarted by him leaving home and no longer being confined by the limited perspectives of the people he grew up around. Unlike other links, this one doesn’t have too much pressure on him to be a hero. In fact, I would consider his growth into a hero to be framed very positively in this game as it gives him the agency he lacked at the beginning. This is an interesting departure from most other games in which link lacks a lot of agency.
Basically, i think that while most other games can be read as kind of… tragic trans stories, about the struggles of not being allowed to define yourself, etc, wind waker link is the story of a kid who is finally GETTING to define himself. It’s more similar to Majora's mask in that way, in that this kid has already HAD the chapter where he’s confined to other people’s expectations and is now beginning to break out of it and reclaim his own identity.
Botw
Jesus. God almighty. Okay
Like. not to keep beating a dead horse but this link is the most obviously negatively affected by the expectations and perceptions of those around him. He explicitly goes mute BECAUSE he knows people expect him to be a hero above all else, and it will be easier to conform to that expectation if he keeps quiet. This poor boy is so terrified to be imperfect, to be something that hyrule might not like, that he SHUTS DOWN. he is essentially nothing BUT what hyrule wanted him to be, because he never allowed himself to be anything else.
I have already explained the trans read of this. Reread ocarina of time’s segment. Holy SHIT. he is so transgender. Also he’s 5’2 and has shoulder-length hair come on
Side note but i think botw is cool because it explores BOTH facets of the usual loz narrative (lack of agency/reclamation of agency) within the same game, while most other games go for one or the other. When link loses his memories he is FORCED to define himself, as he has nothing to go on anymore, which is a reclamation of the agency he had lost pre-calamity. Essentially pre-calamity is the oot segment and post-calamity is the mm segment of the narrative. It’s cool. Anyways
Zelda. GOD.
She is not the daughter her father wanted. She knows this. She tries SO HARD for SO LONG to be the daughter her father wanted. But she can’t. She will never be good enough in his eyes. Eventually she gives up on doing exactly what he wants. She hopes she can win his approval in other ways, with things she is good at. Things she CAN do right. But it’s never enough for him because all he sees is the daughter he wanted. The daughter she should have been. He doesn’t care that she can’t. He only cares that she Is Not. she knows she will never win his approval but she keeps trying anyway.
Do i really need to explain this. Babygirl you are so trans gender
#if this doesnt auto-compress i am so sorry. this was 5 pages in google docs btw i am insane#zelda analysis#asks#THE FORMATTING. SHIT#i swear this was originally readable guys idk why the formatting is fucked
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Ew just saw one of my favorite blogs talk about how radblr is just “incels” for girls. What is it about handmaidens always comparing feminist to violent misogynistic men? Literally just saying the same old “feminist women are just angry bitches cause they can’t get laid” as if any woman wouldn’t be able to “get dick” as if men had any kind of standards that it’s so hard for women to find an ugly worthless moid to fuck if we really wanted to like??? And the worst of it all is that this girl used to be on radblr and that is exactly what happens when you get your info on an app instead of picking up a book or going to outside sources and making your own opinion instead of saying in your weird echo chamber on the internet. So tired of spineless women, women also contribute to maintaining the patriarchy, Im tired of pretending we have no play in it just cause we’re the victims of it. Sorry for the rant, honestly but it’s mind blowing to me how downright stupid some people are 😪
Don’t be sorry, anon. Bc it is frustrating.
I don’t entertain that notion that radfems “just need to get laid” the same way I don’t accept that incels “just need to get laid”. Neither instance fixes anything.
Radfems are not inciting and acting on violent thoughts towards their chosen effigy (women, in the case of incels). Radfems are not encouraging the systematic violation of men’s bodily autonomy as well as celebrating their mass harassment in all corners of the world. Radfems goals do not even center on seeking equality with men, but seeking liberation from the system they have constructed and walled the whole of the world within. Radfems are not demanding something unearned or unowed from men; they are demanding to either be treated as the true second half of the human race they are, or to be left the fuck alone.
In that same breath, incels are not oppressed based solely on their sex. Being denied sex and the spoils of an active social life because you have poor hygiene and bring up porn in casual conversation is not oppression. I’d call that ‘consequences of your own actions/inaction’, but whatever. They don’t seek to change the system they allegedly suffer under. In fact, they champion those men higher up in their constructed hierarchies of “high value” men, and agree with the “high value” men who call them (the incels) losers. They don’t want things to change, they just want to benefit from the current system. They may complain about “chads” or whatever tf, but ultimately it is “Stacey” who is to blame for not lowering her standards and doing her due diligence of giving every guy a chance but also not being a raging slut who deserves nothing.
Incels and their baseless ideology is a sword swinging in the wind, angry at everyone but boy holding the sword. Radical feminism is the shield. It has always been the shield.
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wei wuxian’s body
bc @veliseraptor reminded me
wwx + bodily autonomy, a potentially incoherent jumping-off from this post
this is v hastily written bc i’m literally leaning across an open WIP on my art laptop to write it but it’ll languish in the annals of Things I Meant to Write But Forgot About alongside that other wwx thots™ post i drafted and then abandoned
this also may be less based in canon than HCs but i will contemplate that when/if objections are raised in the notes bc again im trying to do this quickly so i can draw sad sad wangxian
edit: just forewarning this is a very limited read atm without much consideration for other cultural and environmental influences that might impact this so apologies for those limitations. this is, again, a very hasty pile of Thots™
a brief thesis: wwx has never felt that his body is his own
summary of evidence: lack of bodily security as a child on the streets -> perceived debts to yunmeng jiang -> burial mounds -> death -> resurrection
1) childhood
basically, as a kid on the streets, wwx couldn’t take for granted the security and wholeness of his body at any given point; his constant foraging for scraps of food, fighting dogs, etc., p much demolishes the sanctity of his body and makes his physical security extremely conditional
2) debts to yunmeng jiang
thanks to the jiang clan, he is provided with physical security and is able to grow up nurtured and safe. however even here, it is made clear that this is not a condition-less state. he’s reminded he’s the son of a servant elevated above the position he “should” have, he’s disciplined via harsh(ish — depends on your reading of canon/personal headcanons a bit here) physical means, etc.
this is obv most exemplified by the golden core transfer (“that is what I owed Jiang clan” isn’t, i don’t think, at all insincere) but it’s also apparent in things like accepting a physical beating from Zidian, a high-powered spiritual weapon, and resigning himself to having his sword hand cut off if it means the Wen will leave Lotus Pier alone, etc. also madam yu/jiang fengmian ordering him to protect jiang cheng and jiang yanli (i’d pull the direct quotes but again! speed.)
2a) xuanwu cave
here we have, obviously, his diving in to take the branding iron for mianmian but i also think an argument could be made for his staying behind in the cave as being partially due to this. like is it partially just how the pieces fall? sure. but i also think that all things being equal, he would still shove jiang cheng out of the cave and stay behind bc jiang cheng’s life is worth more than his in his view
3) burial mounds
aight this one takes more of a dive into headcanon territory since i insist on slightly-left-of-human!wwx BUT in an effort to keep it canon: esp in novel canon, wwx essentially sacrifices his body again through demonic cultivation given the deterioration of his mind/body/heart thru using resentful energy/stygian tiger seal
3a) empathy
this one is a bit more of a fudge, but basically: empathy requires the user to give over their body/control of the situation to see the other person/spirit’s memories and is indicated to be fairly high risk. who’s noted for being good @ empathy and constantly willing to do it? same guy who’s never believed he has a right to his own body in the first place
4) death
a. novel-verse, he sacrifices himself to destroy the seal in an effort to prevent it getting in the wrong hands/stop the y’know disaster happening
b. CQL-verse, he kills himself to...well, depending on your reading, either make up for the death(s) he’s caused, accept defeat, remove a living pain from the lives of the people he caused, just end it already bc it’s not worth it
but in any case, there’s a level of sacrificing his body/physical life there
5) resurrection
again this varies a lil between CQL and the others and is at its most extreme when he’s resurrected into mo xuanyu’s body, seeing as that is literally not his body and thus carries a bunch of weird consent things
but in either case, he was dragged back to life (apparently at least somewhat against his will — “I wish I were still dead” or smth along those lines in ep 1) and given a body that isn’t his original (i’m still hung up on the fucking mole. what the FUCK) body and isn’t something he asked for and immediately set on a quest that he, again, is pushed into and during which he’ll repeatedly put his body on the line as a sacrifice
conclusion
sorry if this is super incoherent and doesn’t make sense to anyone but me! this is basically a semi-fleshed out but still p skeletal speed reading of my thoughts on the whole thing and, again, done quickly bc i have art to get to
but basically i think the bottom line for me is that wwx’s self sacrificial tendencies come from a confluence of arrogance, sense of obligation/duty, lack of self-worth, and ingrained lack of ownership of his body and i think a major part of any arc post-canon (regardless of which body he’s got) somewhat requires him learning his body as his own and as deserving of protection/preservation
uh
i still don’t know if any of this makes sense LMAO
#mdzs meta#untamed meta#wei wuxian#wei ying#here are speed thoughts with curio#feel free to disagree obv this is just my reading of it
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im so torn between deep empathy for elliot page and... continued disappointment. i want her to be happy with transition, i really do, but she looks pained. i couldn’t read that interview and look at those photos without feeling a deep sense of turmoil, especially when the article discussed her early acting career and discomfort with being sexualized and forced to be feminine. that breaks my heart because i get it, really. feeling like your body isn’t your own, being sexually harassed and objectified all while dealing with internalized and external homophobia... i can’t even imagine how much her dysphoria was exacerbated by working in such a misogynistic industry, where her body was a product for consumption in a somewhat literal sense.
but there comes a point where i have to say... i feel for her, i really really hope she’s okay, but the way she’s using her platform is unacceptable. “Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. ‘We know who we are,’ Page says. ‘People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.’” it’s entirely dishonest in its framing of these issues. for example, the part about her wanting to play in boys’ sports as a kid... does she not understand that it was fair and acceptable because she’s female? like oh my god there is a difference between ‘playing up’— in age or in sex division— and playing down which is not allowed for a reason. fuck, my childhood soccer team (which i was already playing up by a year in) occasionally arranged to play against boys’ teams, or girls’ teams two years older. and my sister played baseball in a boys’ league because she didn’t want to play softball. those situations are completely different from males playing in women’s and girls’ leagues where they have a clear unfair advantage, and u have to be an idiot to compare the experiences.
and then the suicide guilting part of the interview... what happened to telling queer youth “it gets better?” instead you’re creating an alarmist narrative that trans people will be inevitably driven to suicide if they can’t medically transition. and it’s so fucked when you know statistically that there’s no real evidence that medical transition reduces suicidality. but most random people reading this in time don’t know that, all they hear is “trans people r killing themselves and we can help them by allowing them to transition!” because the argument is presented in this way, there’s no room for thought to whether any of this is evidence based treatment. no recognition to many trans and detrans people alike speaking out against the negative health effects, no consideration of who profits off of the medicalization of gender nonconformity, no skepticism or desire to protect trans people from medical abuse. and then the trans kids argument... that argument alone is so manipulative and misrepresented that i can’t give the benefit of the doubt that elliot is saying all this in good faith, i can’t help but wonder what imperative has driven her to speak so strongly and without nuance on this issue.
and then you frame acceptance of gender identity as accepting human complexity?? when gender critical feminists recognize that all people are complex and don’t fit into sex-based stereotypes. we aren’t the ones trying to put people in boxes. and no, i don’t think you’re “mistaken about who you are,” elliot. in fact, i hope you’re happy with transition and don’t come to regret it, just as i hope the same for all my trans friends. i just don’t believe that your own identity and self-conception should precede my right to talk about and name sex-based oppression, should precede the rights of all women and girls to safety, privacy, bodily autonomy. i reject the idea that having clear definitions of sex and sexuality are somehow clinging to outdated ideas. i believe that the desire for legal and ideological clarity isn’t a meaningless pursuit. and you’d realize that radical feminists’ ideas about gender are actually not “rigid” at all if you listened to what we are saying. we’re saying you can do what you want, express yourself how you want, present socially as a man and ask for your dysphoria to be accommodated interpersonally... all while being female, while being a woman.
i’m really sad that elliot’s realty causes her so much pain. i wish her healing and i hope that the choices she’s made will bring her happiness and comfort and relief. and health! i wish her wellbeing, both physical and mental. and i wish the same for all trans people. but i think we can balance those wishes with acceptance of the reality of biological sex.
also it should go without saying not to mock a gnc woman’s appearance jesus fuck. if you think her haircut looks like a little boy, think about the fact that a lot of butch lesbians have faced the same mockery. ive literally been insulted in the exact same way by homophobic bullies in high school lmaoo. when you mock someone for their appearance, even if you think they deserve it or aren’t impacted by it because of their celebrity status, you’re also mocking all the people reading it who share those traits (e.g. gender nonconformity.) and if you’re saying she looks emaciated and sick and speculating disordered eating... literally don’t. like i get it bc seeing her photos i thought she didn’t look at all healthy or happy and it made my heart break for her. but jesus fuck don’t speculate about people’s bodies and eating behaviors, especially vulnerable dysphoric women’s.
#sorry for the rant#maybe don’t reblog lol#i just had a lot of thoughts on this#the lack of empathy from some radfems toward her is really upsetting#but i also really understand the frustration because christ#what a difficult read
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