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belphegor1982 · 5 months

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Got tagged by @accidentallylita for a 20 questions for writers thing! Thank you 💜 I'm gonna tag... @tameila, @fantasiawandering, @kabbal, @kaantt and @thisstableground - no pressure at all though.

How many works do you have on AO3?

88. But I still have 44 others over on FFnet.

What's your total AO3 word count?

659,354 (holy crap that's a lot!) and I'm way too lazy to add the FFnet numbers. The FFnet counters are a mess anyway.

What fandoms do you write for?

I have written for... Ready? Go! *deep breath* Harry Potter, Great Mouse Detective, The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean, Kung Fu Panda, Watchmen, Justice League, Discworld, White Collar, Hogan's Heroes, Zorro (the 1950s Disney series), Kaamelott, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the 2012 cartoon and a TMNT 2003 and 1987 crossover missing scene from Turtles Forever) , the Don Camillo stories/films, Cobra Kai, Karate Kid, The Legend Of Vox Machina, and Critical Role. Whew! And that's not counting unpublished WIPs, because then I would have to add ACD Sherlock Holmes, Jeeves and Wooster, or The Pirates! In an Adventure with Musicians Scientists :D It's mostly Critical Role and Vox Machina at the moment, though.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Let's see:

Villains (Justice League Unlimited, Flash's Rogues watch the finale of season 2's near apocalypse on TV in their bar, 442 kudos)

Reading the Colours (TMNT 2012, kid!Mikey having trouble learning to read and a bit of synaesthesia, and kid!Ralp being a good brother, 225 kudos)

Culture Shock (Turtles Forever (TMNT 2003 and 1987 crossover), 2003!Don and 1987!Leonardo having a conversation about danger and stakes and genre shifts, 215 kudos)

After the Sunset (The Mummy, a getting-to-know-each-other scene set just after 'The End' to tie up loose ends and explore character dynamics, 202 kudos)

Wife (Justice League Unlimited, the writers made Captain Cold (of all people XD) mention a wife so I created a character and explored her relationship with her husband and his nemesis, 168 kudos)

Aww 💜 I was kinda surprised by this list, to tell the truth!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try (oh my god do I try ♫). Currently there's still a couple in my AO3 inbox I haven't responded to yet because I like to take my time (and also I like having that little number beside my inbox on my page 😭)

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh that's easy. If, a Hogan's Heroes snapshot (<800 words) where I essentially went "hey, what if [character] really had been killed in that scene?" and picture the aftermath.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that is hard! I have comforting endings, I have peaceful/hopeful endings, I have bittersweet endings with a side of sweet... But just plain happy? I mean, Pas de Deux would end on a thoroughly good and happy note if it weren't for that pesky last sentence ("This summer 1914 is going to be the best summer"). I'd say Perfect Picture has the happiest: it's a (few years into the) future JLU fic set at a Christmas do, PoV Jimmy Olsen, that ends on him taking the titular perfect picture in the immediate wake of a very happy announcement. I love it a lot.

Do you get hate on fics?

No, thank goodness. Something of a miracle in 22+ years of writing online! My beta has, though, because some people are idiots.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, although it's a recent (ish) development! I've written three kinds of smut: loving and sometimes fumbling between two then three young people who don't a ton of (or any, in some cases) experience, quick and ill-advised between two desperate people convinced they'll die in a few hours, and cosy and warm as a means to (re)connect (two different fandoms) between middle-aged people. Love every one of them.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have! Like the aforementioned TMNT crossover (within the same franchise, bit still, two different shows and fandoms). And, well, it's not exactly crazy, but I wrote a tavern-as-an-afterlife fic in which Sergeants García and Schultz have a little conversation about their respective supposed-to-be enemies. Would that count as "crazy" if they have approximately a century and a few years between their lifetimes?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't... think so. Can't be sure. Sometimes I post fic here and I've definitely found my Tumblr accounts on those crappy Tumblr mirroring websites, so yeah, probably.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked me once if I minded them translating one of my Don Camillo fics into Italian, to which I responded with happy flailing and "not at all, go ahead!" But I never heard back from them. OTOH, I have done the translating :D I translated a Mummy fic into French back in the day (2004) with the author's permission, and I wrote L'éléphant de Carter (Hogan's Heroes) in French then translated it into English.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I participated in group projects and big bangs and stuff, but I've written a fic "with four hands".

What's your all-time favorite ship?

It should be an obvious choice, because I have so few I ship actively - you know, not just "sure, I like the idea of them together". For the purposes of the question I will say Pike Trickfoot/Scanlan Shorthalt, from Campaign 1 of Critical Role/The Legend of Vox Machina (it's a slow burn with minimum pining! They both have personal growth! He pursues her but then apologises and asks if they can be friends! Each is the only one who truly sees and perceives the other on that level!). But also I really really love my one-third-canon-character-two-thirds-OCs OT3 set in 1910s Oxford. So... tie? :3

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have one of those eternal WIPs (more of an idea, really) of a Discworld/Quantum Leap crossover where Sam Beckett Leaps into Sam Vimes who's in the middle of an investigation, which would mean that 1) Sam B has to wrap his mind around the existence of magic and dwarves and trolls and Nobby Nobbs while Sam V and Al Calavicci stare at each other down (Spider-men-pointing-meme style in the end) going "if my guy/my people get(s) hurt by your shenanigans then so help me I will go SQUARE" (and quickly enough work together).

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, apparently? I've been told a few times over the years by readers that they could "hear" the characters speak in their heads, which is the greatest compliment 💜 (especially since English is not my first language, so I'm always worried about things not sounding right!)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Actual plots, especially ones with a bit of complexity in them 😅 I'm the first to admit 80% of my fics are one-shot character exploration (with conflict - internal and external - being resolved via dialogue and/or communication). Also finishing things on time, GOD.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Heh. I'm French and when I write for Hogan's Heroes I often write a French character who canonically (though rarely, gotta respect the ratio) says things in French sometimes. Of course I'll include some! But I always make sure 1) to include a translation/explanation in the notes (AO3 is really great for footnotes) and 2) that it doesn't really require a translation to understand the situation/stakes. I tend to go back and forth on the use of italics for foreign language words.

Now, if I don't know the language as well as I do French (and, more importantly, if the PoV character who hears it speaks that language), I just clarify in the "s/he said", like

"You gotta be kidding me," muttered Bob in [insert language here].

Works in English too, of course, especially if you're having a multi-language environment in your fic.

First fandom you wrote for?

I was gonna say "Harry Potter", because that's the first fandom I wrote for (and published) after discovering fanfiction (the first fics I read were for Starsky & Hutch), BUT. I guess I should answer Titanic?? On account of how I kinda wrote a self-insert in high school (when the film came out) in which an imaginary inventor uncle build a time machine and my sister and I did some time tourism (obviously money wasn't an issue), thinking "oh we'll just go home on April 14th". I was a soppy 16 years old otherwise 0% interested in romance, so I had my stand-in recently lost her boyfriend (very tragically) and Fabrizio (Jack's Italian friend) be her gently manic pixie dream boy (and, of course, die). In retrospect I might have given my 14 year old sister the best part as the snarky no-nonsense little sibling. I tragically lacked self-awareness and poured my entire heart into it. Thank goodness I had no idea you could put out stories on the internet and that my best friend at the time (the only other human being who read this story) was kind and just as obsessed with the movie as I was ^^'

(I should point out that I wrote it with pencil on loose paper gathered in a binder I lost long ago. Such is life.)

Favorite fic you've ever written?

You can't just - I - oh come on! I can't choose between my babies!! No but seriously, I actually can't choose, sorry :D

#sometimes I write

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swanimagines · 1 year

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FANDOMS

(Doing a proper fandom list because I'm re-adding everything now that AO3 has proved itself as a peaceful platform to write to)

I’m that weirdo who’s willing to write for fandoms no one else writes for so don’t judge me. :D I like to challenge myself, so if I like the movie/tv show/game, I'll often write for it! Even if it's a "weird" fandom.

READ MY RULES BEFORE REQUESTING!

The list for my fave characters to write for is below the fandom list in case you're interested!

(My random and unpopular fandoms are below the main list to make this easier to read)

I WRITE FOR ALL CHARACTERS UNLESS I STATE OTHERWISE IN THIS LIST

FANDOMS I WILL WRITE FOR:

MOVIES

10 Things I Hate About You

(James Cameron's) Avatar + The Way of the Water

Batman: The Dark Knight Trilogy

Disney & Pixar movies (animated + live action)

Full list here!

Edward Scissorhands

Enola Holmes

Hunger Games

Jumanji (1995, 2017 and 2019)

Little Women (2019)

Lord of the Rings + The Hobbit

Marvel

Spider-Men (Maguire, Garfield, Holland)

MCU (up to No Way Home)

Venom (1 and 2)

X-Men (2000-2006 + 2011-2019)

Deadpool 1 + 2

Fantastic Four (2005-2007)

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003-2017)

Shazam!

Sky High

Star Wars

The Skywalker Saga

Rogue One

Solo

Star Wars: Jedi (video game series)

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Maze Runner

Titanic

TV SERIES

Bones

Chicago Med

DC Titans

Gotham

Free Rein

H2O: Just Add Water + Mako Mermaids

Julie and the Phantoms

Lucifer

Once Upon A Time

Peaky Blinders

Shadow and Bone/Grishaverse as a whole

Stranger Things

Teen Wolf

The 100

The Queen’s Gambit

The Sandman (Netflix)

The Umbrella Academy

The Witcher

Wednesday

Xena: Warrior Princess

VIDEO GAMES

Assassin’s Creed

Baldur's Gate 3

Detroit: Become Human

Dragon Age games

Ghost of Tsushima

God of War & Ragnarok (2018 & 2022)

Horizon Zero Dawn + Forbidden West

Kingdom Hearts games

Marvel’s Spider-Man + Miles Morales

Red Dead Redemption 2

Sly Cooper

Star Wars: Jedi (video game series)

Tomb Raider (the new trilogy)

Uncharted up to Lost Legacy

Watch Dogs/Watch Dogs 2/Bloodline

RANDOM

Freddy Carter’s characters, at the moment these:

Kaz Brekker

Pin Hawthorne

Jason Ripper

Tom (15 Days)

I also write for Ellis through research (from 2018 horror movie The Convent)

Gideon Fletcher

David Friedkin

(Also likely Ray when Recursive Dreams comes out)

SUBLIST: NICHE MOVIE FANDOMS

(These are all very small and random fandoms so that's why I separated them from the main list)

AND CLARIFICATION, YOU CAN REQUEST SOMETHING FOR ANY OF THESE!!

MOVIES

Aquamarine

Catwoman

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Flicka

Garfield movies

Grinch Who Stole Christmas (2000)

Home Alone 1 & 2

Love and Monsters

Moulin Rouge

Notting Hill

Peter Pan (2003)

Red Eye

Rise of the Guardians

Stardust

The Dark is Rising

The Martian

Warm Bodies

—

FAVOURITE CHARACTERS

(THESE ARE NOT THE ONLY CHARACTERS I'M WRITING FOR, just my faves in case someone is wondering about who do I like to write the most)

Freddy Carter's characters (Kaz Brekker, Pin Hawthorne, Jason Ripper, Tom from 15 Days, Ellis from The Convent, Gideon Fletcher, David Friedkin)

Rupert Travis (Detroit: Become Human)

Diaval (Maleficent)

James Kidd/Mary Read (Assassin’s Creed 4)

Wrench (Watch Dogs 2)

Cal Kestis (Star Wars)

John Murphy (The 100)

Jerome Valeska (Gotham)

Patrick Verona (10 Things I Hate About You)

Ledger!Joker (The Dark Knight Trilogy)

Benny Watts (The Queen’s Gambit)

Jin Sakai (Ghost of Tsushima)

Ralph (Detroit: Become Human)

Kurt Wagner (X-Men: Apocalypse)

Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings)

Cole (Dragon Age)

Newt (The Maze Runner)

This list is growing all the time!

And if you didn’t find the fandom you’re looking for here, please go ahead and ask me if I write for it!! Below I’ve listed some fandoms I’m not writing for (and I'm not willing to write for in the future) but if your fandom isn’t there either, you can ask if I write for it :) DO NOT REQUEST A PIECE FOR AN UNLISTED FANDOM BEFORE YOU’RE SURE I WRITE FOR IT!!!

FANDOMS I WILL NOT WRITE FOR:

Harry Potter/Wizarding World in general (no longer writing for them because I was constantly forcibly pulled in to fandom dramas)

Supernatural

^ Or anything horror since my imagination is too sensitive.

^ Also Doctor Who for now (I know it isn’t horror but there are some really scary episodes I can’t watch, I might change my mind in the future though)

Game of Thrones

Vikings

^ Or anything where animals get sacrificed/killed slowly because that makes me super anxious for weeks.

The Untamed (not interested)

Twilight (didn’t like them, watched them only because my Twilight superfan friend forced me to watch them with her 😅)

Darkiplier/Antisepticeye (I know they’re fictional, but I’m not interested in watching them)

Studio Ghibli movies/anime (anime drawing style makes me feel physically ill, and no I don’t know why, it’s always been that way)

Youtubers, actors, singers, bands, influencers, I’m not writing for anyone who’s a celebrity/irl person, with an exception if the person’s life has been largely fictionalized in a game/movie/series + they’re a historical character. (Like AC characters)

#fandoms #fandom list

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taylorkellyreporting · 2 years

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i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: the captain swan show rewatch edition 🪝 🦢

right s2 let’s go

snow reuniting with her family 🥺

poor emma :/ must be so bittersweet

“i thought you’d changed.” “what, in the hour you’ve known me?” lmfaooo

i gain killian and sleeping warrior this season!!

“i made a promise to henry. she’s not dying.” parents die all the time, he’ll get over it. let that bitch GO

“you love him.” oh baby not in the way you think

rewatching the hat scene in regina’s office and it’s so obvious to me now that emma had magic in her like it wouldn’t work til she gripped regina’s arm

“i don’t want to hurt anyone!” “hard to believe you’re from the same family.” oh you’ll believe it eventually

“gramps” 🥺

regina is such a horrible mother idk how henry tolerates her

henry calling regina out for what she’s done to him👏🏻

“you will hold the hearts of your people in your hands.” lady you have no idea

“and i won’t become like her?” you’ll be worse

letting henry leave with charming was the only selfless thing that regina has ever done

regina: i want to redeem myself

also regina: *continues doing terrible shit*

henry and charming taking a drink of their sodas at the same time was so cute

“we can’t do that with our tales between our legs! no offense.” 😭😭

“have you ever seen an ogre?” “pretty sure i’ve dated a few.” pls i love her

“when is the last time you shot an arrow?!” “28 years ago. guess it’s like riding a bike.” 😭

mama charming 🥺

“actually, she’s my mom.” aurora’s face gjvjfjsk

“what kind of corset is this?” 😭

josh has such beautiful eyes, woah

snow and charming having lancelot marry them so mama charming can be there to see it, i’m crying

the way that’s not even lance

“is there…something i need to know?” lmaoooo

“you gave up…everything for me. and you’re still doing that.” i love their relationship so damn much

“i’m not used to someone putting me first” 😭

oh God snow crying as she looks at the nursery!! shoot me and it would still hurt less

rewatching emma and killian scenes is gonna hit so hard like they hated each other at first and all i’m gonna think about is how the series ends with them happily married and parents to a baby girl 🥹

henry’s face as he’s watching jefferson reunite with his daughter 🥺 he misses emma so much

that nasty old man watching charming and henry :/

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE MY HUSBAND MY NUMBER ONE HE’S FINALLY HERE

disney+ having the description for this episode be that rumple tries to save his wife being taken by pirates is so funny knowing she leaves him willingly

hate that i have to watch more of rumple’s past in order to get killy but yk what it’s worth it

ladies and gentlemen…him.

and from this moment on…the show changed forever

“he’s a tad taller than you described” 😭

sexy ass mofo

“on your feet for the captain” i’d be on my feet…knees…anyway-

“you have my wife.” “i’ve had many a man’s wives” pls

oh how i wish that belle would’ve stayed at the library, been best friends with red and eventually fallen in love with will

he’s so fine pls

gold going to charming for help, oh i know he’s desperate

this pic is so soft🥺

oh brother, mila wasn’t stolen

riiighhht he took his heart

oh wait no it was his hand he takes duh lmao

“are you asking for dating advice?” “of course not, no” plsjdjfjfksb

skipping every rumbelle scene is self care <3

and now he’s captain hook :)

really wish belle wasn’t so weak

LMAOO THERE’S NO BEAN IN HIS HAND

emma and killian soon!!

those poor people cora ruthlessly slaughtered :(

them <3

THEY FOUND KILLIAN, IT’S HAPPENING

neither knows that they’re looking at the love of their life i’m gonna cry

love the intro this ep

hit my pic limit so gonna make another post 👍🏼wasn’t gonna post ep by ep but here we are

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lazytowncontent · 2 years

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Things I can't stop thinking about #2

This is somewhat similar to the last one I made since it’s voice actor related :D

Arabic is my first language and a lot of stuff I grew up with was dubbed in Arabic so I’m very nostalgic when it comes to Arabic dubs, sometimes a bit partial to it too.

I mostly grew up with Disney arabic dubs that were in colloquial egyptian arabic, later down the line a lot of the dubs got remade with Lebanese actors to be in traditional arabic instead, although a lot got to keep their egyptian cast (long story).

Lazytown only got an actual Arabic dub once it was bought by turner so I never grew up with an Arabic dub of the show, only subs but it ended up getting the traditional arabic treatment with Lebanese actors, it’s not that bad, it’s nice and they got some very talented peeps on there 👍 Ofc nothing can beat the originals but I still got curious about some of the people they got on there, especially Robbie’s voice actor.

His name is Fouad Shamas (فؤاد شمص) and his voice sounded very familiar to me so I wanted to look up who else he dubbed over and uhhhh, I did not expect a lot of these characters.

SO HERE’S A TOP TEN LIST OF THEM:

10-The great mouse detective: clip

Yes, the mouse himself, Basil of Baker Street, I have a huge soft spot for that movie so this was very special to me to learn about, despite not growing up with the same dub :,)

9-Batman the animated series: clip

This one is a bit insane to me since I actually grew up watching the show… despite not really liking it since I was weirdly scared by it 😬 but I still love the fact that Robbie Rotten’s Arabic voice actor voiced BATMAN, out of all characters in the show lmao, also here’s the Arabic intro for that show ;)

8-Lucky Luke:

Huge soft spot for Lucky Luke, but I’m not sure which version of Lucky Luke he voiced, but it gives me Rottenkid vibes so… 8)

7-Tom and Jerry: clip

Now here's the thing about Stefán, he did sing a song as Tom and Jerry, but he was never in Tom and Jerry anything else, but this guy is the current voice actor for Butch! and I am entertained by that! Cuz I like Tom and Jerry :D

6-Lilo and Stitch:

I feel like most of this list is gonna be movies that I have a soft spot for, whoops! but he did play Gantu which is one character that I did not expect, kinda like with Batman :,D

5-The Amazing World of Gumball: clip

I love this one, not just because i like the show and Richard, but also because he has a bit of a similar voice to the voice he does for Robbie so it's kinda cute ;u;

4-The Black Corsair animated series: clip

Now I actually didn't know this show even existed but when I looked it up, the black corsair (which Fouad voiced) looks a LOT like what Stefán looked like as Cyrano...also pirates... Rottenbeard? it works :y

3-Yu-Gi-Oh:

Joey Wheeler, he voiced Joey wheeler...do I need to say more??

Also a bunch of other Yu-Gi-Oh characters too!

2-The Cat in the Hat: clip

At first, when I saw this on his wiki, it kind of implied that he dubbed the live action movie of the cat in the hat, which just about made me go insane... until I looked it up and no it was just the cartoon that was made in 2010, thank god but also I am very disappointed.

1-Bee movie: clip

Listen... you had to have been there in 2016 when the funniest shit out there was the bee movie script, shrek and we are number one.

AND GUESS WHAT, HE VOICED BARRY B. BENSON.

OUT OF ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIE... HE VOICED THAT ONE.

Hey now you can say that you have footage of Robbie Rotten saying that funny bee movie haha line from the start of the movie, only catch is that it's in Arabic :)

If you're interested, you can check his youtube channel here and his wikipedia page, that's where I got my info from.

Anyway I'm done.

#lazytown #robbie rotten #stefan karl #stefan karl stefansson #long post

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jj-lynn21 · 3 years

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Stellan interview

"Stellan Skarsgard Is Finally Seizing the Spotlight"

https://www.thedailybeast.com/stellan-skarsgard-is-finally-seizing-the-spotlight

With roles in “Dune,” the Star Wars series “Andor,” and “Hope,” the character actor par excellence has never been more popular. He talks to Marlow Stern about his stellar career.

Few if any actors have built a resume as impressive as that of Stellan Skarsgård.

After achieving teen-idol status in his native Sweden—even releasing a pop single—due to the TV series Bombi Bitt, Skarsgård transitioned to film acting. It was in the mid-’90s, with roles as a sadistic oil rig worker in Breaking the Waves, a fiery abolitionist in Amistad, and a haughty mathematician in Good Will Hunting, that the towering, stone-faced Swede would cross over into America, and establish himself as one of the finest character actors alive.

He’s since maintained a healthy diet of what he calls “experimental films,” including a total of six with Danish auteur Lars von Trier, and Hollywood studio fare, such as the Pirates of the Caribbean and Mamma Mia! films, the Thor and Avengers superhero extravaganzas, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and Cinderella. And right now, at the age of 69, Skarsgård is at his most prolific. There was his Golden Globe-winning turn in HBO’s Chernobyl, the upcoming villain in Denis Villeneuve’s Dune, and a main role in the Disney+ Star Wars series Andor, which he’s filming right now in London. Oh, and he’s fathered eight children, including the actors Alexander, Gustaf, Bill, Sam, and Valter.

“There’s no competition, really,” the elder Skarsgård tells me of his talented brood. “There’s some joking competition at the dinner table, but I know they’re better than me, so I’ve given up.”

Skarsgård’s latest is the Norwegian drama Hope. Directed by Maria Sødahl, the wife of his frequent collaborator Hans Petter Moland, it is a heartrending autobiographical film about a long-married couple, Anja (Andrea Bræin Hovig) and her theater-director husband Tomas (Skarsgård), whose atrophying bond is put to the test when Anja develops terminal brain cancer. As they fight for Anja’s survival, the two reevaluate how their relationship went off-course, and why they fell in love in the first place. (The U.S. remake rights were quickly snapped up by Nicole Kidman and Amazon Studios.)

Anne Frank’s Stepsister: How Trump Reminds Me of HitlerNEVER AGAINMarlow Stern

In a wide-ranging conversation, Skarsgård opened up to The Daily Beast about his many great films, the controversy surrounding pal Lars von Trier, being a nudist, and much more.

How have you been passing the time during the pandemic?

In different ways. The first half of the year I was at our summer house on an island outside of Stockholm, and all my kids—who were also actors, most of them, and they weren’t working either—were all out there in two houses eating dinners together, having a good time, and seeing the spring inch-by-inch, everything grew, which you never get time to do otherwise. But this job I’m doing here now [in London], I was supposed to fly back and forth from Stockholm because I’m shooting this Star Wars series called Andor, and it would have been very convenient because it’s only a two-hour flight, but because of the quarantine I’ve been stuck here. For more than a month I’ve been alone in a hotel room staring into the wall.

Speaking of the Skarsgård household, I read a quote from your son Alexander who said that when he was a teenager, “Dad was always walking around [without clothes] with a glass of red wine in his hand.” Was that your vibe during the pandemic?

Not this time! Is it the wine that worries you? [Laughs]

Did the stress of the pandemic make you feel less… free?

No, I’m still taking off my clothes when I get home very often—and my kids also, some of them do. It’s not a big thing. We’re Swedes! And we have no God that says we can’t show our body parts.

What about it do you just find so liberating? I don’t go the full monty but when I go home, I do tend to take off my pants and let loose a little bit, because it is constricting.

If it’s warm enough you don’t need clothes, right? Unless you’re ashamed of your body—or taught to be ashamed of certain body parts. For me, it’s all upbringing. It’s cultural. Some cultures don’t care about what part of the body you show, and some cultures are very precious, and some cultures the women can’t show their faces.

I’m curious what life was like in the Skarsgård household, because you’ve helped produce so many talented kids. Alexander described it as “bohemian,” similar to what you described during the pandemic, filled with dinner parties and a free-flowing atmosphere.

It’s always been a very open house, and the kids’ friends, it’s been easier to sometimes be in our house than their houses—especially during puberty, when conflicts arise—because we’re very relaxed and non-judgmental in our family. It’s really, truly pleasant. And my kids are more like pals to me. There’s no hierarchical relationship at all. It’s very nice. We just have fun!

It’s a very talented—and frankly, attractive—family. How did this happen?

How did I make kids that look so good? [Laughs]

Is that something you’re particularly proud of?

[Laughs] Well, the looks I don’t care so much about, but I’ve had two beautiful wives—and very smart wives—and that’s helped a lot. I’m not going to take much credit for anything. But what I’m proud of is, when I hear from other people in the business about Gustaf or Sam or Bill or Valter or Alexander, I hear that somebody worked with them and they were really nice on the set and totally cool with everybody, and how no matter what menial job anyone had on the set they were nice to them, then I’m proud. If they win awards it’s secondary to that, because that is a lottery anyway. Awards are sort of like reality shows.

They really are a popularity contest. Let’s talk about Hope. It could have very well been called Grief.

I thought it sounded bland to begin with, but in fact the film is about hope—and about love. It’s not a normal cancer film where it’s all about beating the cancer or fighting against it, but it’s about someone who gets a death sentence in a family situation with a lot of kids, like I have, and everything that was petrified in the relationship floats up again. It’s about how they rejuvenate their relationship, and through those horrible circumstances, find love again.

There’s one very powerful scene in the film that really encapsulates many elements and themes that it explores, and it’s the sex scene between you and your wife. It manages to capture the joy of reconnecting as well as the grief you’re experiencing.

I think it’s a great scene, because it starts beautifully—very gently—and it looks like it’s going to be really nice for both of them, and then her anxiety sets in, and things start to bad. And it does go bad pretty fast.

On another level, I’m an American and we don’t see sex very often in movies. And when we do, we don’t see it in the service of such complicated emotions.

With sex in film, it’s difficult, because sex is something that feels fantastic when you do it, and it looks ridiculous when you watch. Those humping movements like a dog? It’s not sexy at all! So, you can’t do a sex scene that looks like it feels, so they always have to be about something else. The sex scenes I had with Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves, it was about her curiosity, because she discovered her first penis, she discovered sexuality, and it was totally about the relationship. The sex was just there. And in this film, the scene is not really about sex but about something else. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sex scene that looks like it feels, and that can convey that beautiful thing that sex can be.

Really, in America, we get almost no sex scenes in movies. And it’s 2021.

It’s very strange. It’s not as bad as during the Hays Code, when you couldn’t let the lips meet for more than one second.

You just had a train going into a tunnel.

[Laughs] Yes, that very subtle image. But in America, you have a strong, strong tradition of bigotry or fear of sexuality. Only two years ago, in nine states in America, it was still illegal to have sex outside of marriage, and my American friends have told me that when they were growing up, it was even regulated how they could have sex—you couldn’t have oral sex or anal sex—so it is so ingrained in American culture that people’s sexuality is not a private thing, but something that everybody should interfere with.

Hope is also an exploration of mortality. Is that something you think about often?

I’ve never been that interested in it. I’ve always been aware of it. It’s the only thing you know in life—you’re gonna fucking die. But already many years ago, I thought I’d had such a fantastic life that it would only be fair that I died, because I’ve already lived more than most people. So, I don’t feel any injustice in death. And I’m not afraid of death because I’m not religious, so I don’t have to worry about whether I’m going to end up in hell or heaven. But I have small children still, my youngest is 8, and I’m no spring chicken anymore, so I think about how I should stick around for at least another ten years until everything is set.

I read that you’d studied a bunch of religions in the wake of 9/11 and reached the conclusion that it was all sort of bunk.

I grew up with total freedom of religion—my parents weren’t religious, though my grandmother was very religious. It was taught to me without judgment, and it was a very tolerant upbringing I had. But I hadn’t read the Bible. And after 9/11, when I saw George W. Bush standing in front of TV cameras and claiming that God had put him there, I thought maybe it was time to read what they actually believed in. So, I read the Quran and I read the Bible. There are some fantastic stories—as fiction, it’s sometimes brilliant and sometimes boring—but the God in both the Quran and the Bible, there’s only one reason to really worship them, and that is fear. It’s a power that says, “If you don’t worship, you’re going to die—and not only die, but burn in eternity.” It’s a bit autocratic and dictatorial, I would say. It’s very hard for me to worship something under threat.

And if God put George W. Bush in the White House, then God has a very cruel sense of humor.

[Laughs] Yeah, he does. And the latest president said the same thing.

But he doesn’t believe in God. He only believes in himself.

Yeah. I think that if he had more appreciation from the liberals in America, he would have just as well gone populist-liberal.

I think so too. You know, I read that your Dogville co-star Nicole Kidman already picked up the remake rights to Hope for Amazon.

She’s picked up the remake rights, yeah.

Both you and your son Alexander have shared some pretty intense scenes with Nicole. There’s that dramatic scene in Big Little Lies where Nicole hits your son in the dick, and it almost seemed to me like payback for what you put her through in Dogville.

[Laughs] Yeah, I’ve done two films with her and Alexander just finished doing The Northman with her. But she’s lovely. I really like her. She’s so cool.

At least it was a prosthetic and not Alexander’s real thing.

Yeah… coward! [Laughs]

I gotta say, between Chernobyl, Hope, Dune, a Star Wars series, and even a Simpsons cameo as yourself, how does it feel to be at your most prolific at 69?

I’m just working! I’m doing my job and having fun doing it. I’ve been lucky and a lot of good projects have emerged. It goes up and down, you know, throughout life. And I don’t think I could have a better life than I’ve had. I don’t have any regrets. And I don’t have to be the star or be in something very successful, I just have to have fun.

Nice. Do you feel you’re underrated? I think you’re someone who’s so consistently great in everything that it can almost be taken for granted how great you are. I know you won a Golden Globe recently, and that was long overdue, even if it’s mostly bullshit.

I don’t know! I can tell you: it’s much better to be underrated than overrated. So, I’m very comfortable if I am underrated. But I’m a Swede with an accent—or most of the time I have an accent—and for being a Swede with an accent, I have been extremely successful internationally, so I can’t complain. When it comes to the big studio movies, and I’ve been in four or five gigantic franchises that have paid a lot of bills for me, their concerns are financial, and I’m not a ticket-seller. I’m a solid fucking actor, and I’d rather be an actor than a star.

It gives you the mobility.

Exactly. The freedom I have. I can easily do small, experimental films and strange stuff—films that could ruin another actor’s career—so I’m in a good position.

I wanted to ask you about Breaking the Waves, because it’s the 25th anniversary this year and I consider it a masterful film. And it was Emily Watson’s first film, which is just extraordinary. How did you two establish such strong chemistry?

She’s British, which means she comes from a rather prudish society too, and to take on a role with an obscure Danish director—who wasn’t that famous at the time—and to take on a role with such explicit sex and nudity took enormous courage, but she was fantastic. My job was to love her, and that felt easy, but I think that she felt loved, and I think that she felt secure, which is essential for being able to do anything courageous. But she’s such a brilliant, talented, wonderful woman. I finally got to work with her again in Chernobyl. I mean, you just have to look at her and everything comes.

There’s this longstanding debate over whether Breaking the Waves is misogynistic or not, and I personally find it to be a misreading of the film. I’ve always thought of it as a biblical allegory of sorts about a desperate woman navigating a deeply sexist world.

Absolutely. Lars doesn’t have that in him. Those fantastic female roles that he has written, if you want to defend women in film, you’ve really got to take care of him because he writes the best roles for them. Those roles are very much him, and he definitely doesn’t have a negative attitude toward women. He loves them. There’s a plague of labeling people—not for what they’re really saying, but for what they appear to say. He was stamped as a misogynist and then he made a bad joke about Hitler at Cannes, and everyone stamped him as a Nazi, which is the furthest thing from what he is.

Stellan Skarsgard and Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves

You stamp people as a “racist,” a “fascist,” a “communist,” I mean this fucking stamping is as smart as QAnon. It’s frightening. The fantastic thing about mankind is that we’re not one thing. We’re all capable of the most brutal and horrible crimes and we’re all capable of love. We do good things and we do bad things. There are nuances. The way of seeing people as “good” or “bad” guys is forcing something upon humanity that is really dangerous, because when you say someone is the “bad” guy then you’re saying you are the “good” guy, and it’s forcing you to not look at your own flaws.

I’m a huge fan of Lars’ films but I think one thing that’s really colored people’s opinion of him are the allegations that Bjork made against him on Dancer in the Dark. You didn’t have the biggest role in that film, but is it something you witnessed?

I’ve never seen him do anything like that. It’s not him. And if you talk to any of the other women who have worked with him over and over again, you will not get those kinds of accusations. But the Bjork and Lars conflict was enormous during the shoot, and it had very little to do with #MeToo. Lars, like all directors, in the end is a control freak, and Bjork has controlled everything in her career—from the music, to the costumes, to the way she sounds—and if two control freaks try to make a film, there will be conflicts. I got phone calls from Lars during the shoot where he was in tears. She left the set several times, and it had nothing to do with sexuality. She tore up her clothes. They had a very difficult relationship. But you’ve gotta pick your toxic males. You can’t put a “toxic male” label on everybody, otherwise it will be watered down, that label.

I’m so excited for Dune. What can you tell me about it? Denis Villeneuve said that your Baron Vladimir Harkonnen is different from the comics or the David Lynch film in that he’s not as much of a caricature but a calmer, more sinister presence.

The thing about it, and why I’m looking forward to this film as well, is because it’s Denis Villeneuve. Whatever he does, he creates an atmosphere that is dense, that you can touch, and you’re just sucked into it. You’re never bored—even if he does long, slow takes. The atmosphere builds up, and you’re in his universe. I think it will be the same with this one. He’s lovely to work with, and a beautiful man. I did eight or ten days on the movie, so my character doesn’t show up for too much, but his presence will be felt. He’s such a frightening presence where even if he doesn’t say anything, I think you’ll be afraid of him. And I’m extremely fat. I had eight hours in the makeup chair every day. And in some scenes, I look very tall because I levitate. You’re going to have a lot of fun with it.

The whole HBO Max day-and-date thing is weird, and I hope as many people as possible get to see the film on the big screen.

Oh, definitely. I think they made a deal with AT&T—which owns Time Warner, which owns HBO, which owns my phone—that they cut a four-week deal where it’ll be just for the theaters, but I’m not sure. That could change.

I also feel culturally obligated to ask you about Andor, the upcoming Star Wars series you’re in. What’s that about, and who do you play in it?

As you know, they’ll shoot me if I say anything! I can’t even get a proper script. It’s printed on red paper so I can’t make any copies of it, it’s ridiculous! Of course I’ve seen all the Star Wars films, because I’ve had children in the ‘80s, and the ‘90s, and the 2000s, and the 2010s. I’ve had children in five decades, which means you’ve seen all the Star Wars films—and seen all the toys as well. But when I saw Rogue One, it had much more atmosphere and seemed a little more mature—and that was Tony Gilroy, who’s the showrunner on this one. So, hopefully this one will be a little more than little plastic people falling over.

Was a part of the motivation to do Andor to look really cool to your kids?

I do think like that sometimes! I’ll go and do a children’s movie for that reason. But also, I’m not the most mature person myself, so who doesn’t want to go and fly a spaceship?

Plus, now you can give your kids action figures of yourself and say, “Play with me.”

Fuck yeah. Go play with dad. Don’t disturb him! Go play with him! [Laughs]

I’m not the most mature person myself, so who doesn’t want to go and fly a spaceship?

OK, this is kind of a silly question, but do you have a favorite movie death of yours? My favorite has to be in Deep Blue Sea, because in that one you get your arm ripped off by a shark, and then the shark uses your body as a battering ram to destroy this underwater facility.

I would say that is probably, in terms of inventiveness, my favorite one too. It was Renny Harlin. Yeah. I like it! Fortunately, I didn’t have to spend that much time on that stretcher—it was a doll. But it looked really cool! And the sharks weren’t CGI back then. It was mechanical sharks, and they were pretty dangerous. The little boy in me was very excited.

Another movie of yours that I love, for entirely different reasons than some of these other ones we’ve discussed, is Mamma Mia! Is it basically a vacation filming these? I imagine the cast parties are a lot of fun, because it seems like you all are having a ball.

Well, it is. I’m not a singer and I’m not a dancer so I was scared stiff, but the only way to make it work—because it’s not much of a story—is that we had fun doing it, because that joy is contagious to the audience. And we really had fun. It was very relaxed in Greece there on the beaches, and the parties we had there were very good too. It was a nice bunch of people to hang with.

When the cast of Mamma Mia! goes wild in Greece, who is the one that parties the hardest? Who’s the VIP?

It depends what you mean by partying! I usually get pretty drunk. Down there, Colin [Firth] and I were pretty good at it. And at those parties, we also had 50 dancers in their twenties, and they had much more stamina.

I have to ask: Will the gang get back together for a third one?

I don’t know! It took 10 years between number one and number two, so if it takes another ten years, I don’t know. Some of us may just be there in urns, with our ashes!

You released a pop single in the ‘60s, right?

Yes. When I was 16, I became extremely famous in Sweden. We had one TV channel back then and I did this TV series, and it was like being a rock star. But it meant also that all kinds of shady people thought they could make money off me. So, this guy calls me from Stockholm and says, “Stellan, can you sing?” And I said, “No.” And he said, “Well, try it!” And then I hear this guitar on the other end of the line, I go, “Ahh!” and then he goes, “Perfect! Come over to Stockholm.” I went to this very shady studio in the suburbs and we recorded it, and then the guy who was running the project said, “I listened to the tape now, and I think it’s better if I sing and you speak on the record.” So, I don’t sing on the record. But there were very cruel headlines in Sweden. One paper had a headline that read, “Stellan Skarsgård, who we loved on this TV series, we don’t like anymore.”

That’s so mean! In addition to Breaking the Waves, another film that really raised your profile in the United States was Good Will Hunting—which holds up remarkably well. Some of my favorite scenes in that film are the ones where you and Robin Williams are jousting. And I know he’s a wild card, so what was it like shooting those?

He really is a wild card because anything can come out of him, and he can say anything and do anything, and he has this urge to do it because he has these three parallel brains that are constantly working on finding something funny or interesting. Sometimes, even when we would do ten takes and everybody would be happy with them, he’d say, “I have to get something out of my body,” so we would do one extra for that. You didn’t know what you’d experience when the camera would start rolling—you just had to dance with it. And it was fantastic. He was such a lovely man and had no ego. He was just a volcano of creativity and ideas.

Do you ever think about your legacy? You not only have a bunch of talented children but also have amassed such a strong body of work.

The thing is with legacy: you won’t be able to enjoy it, so just forget it. No, I don’t. And it doesn’t matter. If you’re extremely successful, it takes a decade and you’re gone from people’s minds. You can only hope that your children remember you for a couple of years, at least!

Well, they’ll have the Star Wars toys, at least.

They’ll have the toys! That’s right. [Laughs]

#stellan skarsgard

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales Final Four!: The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker!

Hello You Happy People. SPIN IT! OHOHOHOHOHOHO LETS’ BEGIN IT!

After 10,000 years we’re finally at the motherducking Talespin episode! And only 8000 of those years were the last 14 months as Ducktales 2017 has been working toward this for a while with Cape Suzette being prominently mentioned in both the first episode and the season 1 finale, and Don Karnage being a regular part of the rouges gallery, voiced by the wonderous Jamie Camil. So this episode was less a matter of “If”, since Don’s presence meant Disney wasn’t really against it happening, and more a matter of “When and How.” The how, to a point was settled at the big NYCC panel for Ducktales that revealed Daisy and Goofy... as it also revealed aged up versions of Kit and Molly, meaning a proper tailspin episode was on the way. I could not have been more pumped. While I didn’t remember the cartoon well, i’d always loved Talespin since I was a kid and as an adult my curosity only grew. Still need to watch way more of it mind you, I really have slept on most of the Disney Plus Libarary and that’s dumb of me, but what i’ve seen is impressive. The story of an irresponsible bear forced to work with a buisnesswoman bear after she buys his seaplane, his loveable kid sidekick and said buisness bear’s daughter whose cute as a button but suprisingly tolerable for a little kid character. Opposing them were masterful buisnessman Shere Kahn, who sadly does not show up here and could be friend , foe or neutral depending on the episode, and Don Karnage, a kooky sky pirate who as mentioned is already in this series and was Balloo’s arch enemy. The series was colorful, creative, had a great premise and cast and in general was just awesome and out of the Disney Afternoon shows is honestly my faviorite, though Darkwing is getting close. I even recently finally got the Shere Kahn funko, which is starring into my soul as I type this review! Hurrah!

So I waited impatiently like I did for Daisy and Goofy, both also things I’d wanted in the series since the start. Thing was.. Goofy showed up in the second episode of the season, that was part of the premiere, and while the wait for Daisy was agonizing, she still showed up pretty early into the season at episode five. Gosalyn showed up at episode 12. This is episode 20.

I do get it: This season was built to be the last just in case.. and ended up being the last so good job there. There was a LOT to wrap up in one season and on top of that they had a double and TRIPLE length episode taking up 5 episodes of the season, AND two holiday episodes. So that gave them only 18 normal episodes they had to place very carefully. So likely, given that they had some episodes important to the finale that couldn’t wait for the last minute in “The First Adventure” and “The Battle for Castle McDuck!”, as I highly doubt pepper was given such a build up to not be important in the finale, still think she’s webby’s mom, we’ll see soon enough. And New Gods on the Block, while not as important was probably not swapped with this one because they wanted a lighter episode after three plot important episodes in a row, two of which are fairly intense and had lasting consequences and one of which, while a bit of a breather, was still indulging in the new FOWL status quo. This one ended up crammed into the last block.. because they likely really wanted to do this one, wanted it to tie into FOWL... and had nowhere else to put it, with Life and Crimes likely serving as one last break from FOWL, if it doesn’t end up tying into it, before the finale movie. Doesn’t make waiting forever for it any less grating, but hey it’s finally here. So how was it? Was it worth the hype? And how do the Wuzzles factor into this? Join me under the cut and spin it with me to find out and count down to 3!

So we open with an adult Kid Cloudkicker at work, voiced by Adam Pally!

If you haven’t heard of him, and one of my Patreons had not, he was on Happy Endings and the Mindy Project, and has a very distinct voice and is very funny, so it was a pleasant surprise to have him pop up here as Kit and given aforementioned roles were messes in some way shape or form, especially Max from happy endings whose essentially Oscar the Grouch, just as gay only not living in a trash can. Though if he had to he would.

Since he was a kid KIt’s picked up the old family business, and is now running hire for hire.. and has also picked up his Dad’s old enemies as Don Karnage chases after Kit, his second greatest nemesis, who freely mocks him. It’s a lovely sequence but shows Kit isn’t the best pilot, and his fancy flying, while beating Don, also opens both crates, freeing the livestock he’s carrying.. and the other cargo, a mysterious stone that was in a F.O.W.L. crate that merges the chicken with a goat, and scares kit, and he ends up causing his cargo to drop out of the plane. Cue titles.

Back with our heroes for this series, Della is recroding Dewey as he flies solo the first time!

That is so precious. Huey is along for the ride and is taking having his reckless brother with the attention span of a coked up ferret at the helm exactly how you’d expect.

Of course his helmet says safety boy and of course he has a helmet on over his hat. Awww. Dewey, while good at it, he’s a 12 year old flying a rather sizeable plane with no difficulty that’s pretty impressive.. he’s also Dewey so just flying a plane normally isn’t enough and he wants to Dewey it instead and do all the fancy stuff. He wants to be special as is usual for him, not realizing this is how you get to being good as his mom or Launchpad. And he’s 12 so that makes sense just on the basic level.. but it also makes sense on a comparison level: Dewey’s done a LOT of impressive stuff over the course of the series: rattling it off because why not, and this is just things he acomplished himself: he found the Lost Jewel of Atlantis (Getting it home was still a team effort but he is the one who identified it), is a golf pro better than his uncle whose played the game for centuries at this point, defeated Don Karnage in a sword fight with little to no sword training, was crucial in beating Magica during the Shadow War, travled through time, by accident or not, consulted on a major motion picture, defeated a Gandra, even if she was going easy on him, BLIND, and biggest of all defeated the World Serpent Jormunngandr, by himself, a GOD that’s fought Scrooge evenly for decades. AND FINISHED HIM WITH A PILEDRIVER. To reitirate this was ONLY the stuff he did himself. So I get why he’d think just flying a plane when his mom and best friend have done so much more with it is boring and that being a pilot when two people he looks up to are already one is just.. boring. I’ts not special or unique and given his family name is built on the two, I can see why he’d chafe under this.

Della for her part isn’t doing things wrong entirely, she wants him to start with the basics, the fact he can DO those basics at such a young age with minimal training shows he has a true knack for it, and it takes experince to pull off death defying stunts. The First Adventure backs this up as while Della was so talented as a kid she could land a plane herself.. that was all she did. And it’s still incredibly impressive a ten year old landed a seaplane with no real world training or hours in a full on flight simulator. The issue that’s never really adressed is while she’s mostly doing it right she dosen’t get that despite his talent, Dewey just dosen’t find this INTRESTING or get how impressive he is, and that dressing it up a bit migh’tve helped. It’s an understandable mistake though, teaching someone something in any context is hard. It’s one of many, MANY reasons like currently horribly hazzarodus conditions, long hours, having to buy their own suplies at times, that teachers are badly underpayed.

Before we get into why their headed to Cape Suzette at long last, there is one notiacble absence in this episode I can’t really ignore: Launchpad. While he has been absent in every episode since Let’s Get Dangerous, not counting “How Santa Stole Christmas!” as the two holiday episodes were made to fit in anywhere story wise and timeline and production wise take place before the rest of Season 3 , which takes place during Spring given both the March note on Boyd and Huey’s photos in Astro BOYD, and Forbidden Fountain taking place during spring break. At most it’s currently running into Summer. I put too much thought into this with someone i’ve lost contact with.

My point, I had one trust me, is that Launchpad has just been gone for the second half of the season . And up till now it wasn’t necesarily a bad thing: He was a major part of Let’s Get Dangerous and wasn’t really needed for any of the episodes so far: The Manor side of things in ImpossiBin was purposfully intense and while he would’ve had some thoughts on Beakly’s actions, it just worked better with him gone and the only other adult in the house at the moment busy doing other stuff for their protection till the climax. Split Sword was kid focused, New Gods didn’t really involve him at all, though I am sad he and Storkules never met as far as I can tell, The First Adventure was a flashback, Fight for CastleMcDuck was about the family unit more, and Beaks in the Shell is the only one so far I think he could’ve been included in at all and again shoving him in would’ve just cluttered things up. Like a lot of character ballance issues of the series, there’s a good enough reason.. this is just the one exception in the last batch I think would’ve been improved by having him. He’s Dewey’s best friend, he’s been there for him, he would’ve been a good counterpoint as a teacher and it could’ve been intersting having both he and della have constrasting styles but valuable things to teach and I would’ve loved to see him interact with Kit. It also just feels really weird to be down a pilot in the episode about the franchise about a pilot. \

The fact Dewey ends up crashing while landing after Huey applauds him on his safe normal landing, which ticks him off because he dosen’t want to be normal, hammers in it in a bit as he missed his buddy’s first crash. I get leaving him out as Kit is just as irresponsible and the episodes just as much about Kit if not more so as it is about Dewey, so I understand it but it dosne’t make it feel like any less of a lost opportunity.

As for why their in the cape at last, it’s unsuprsingly another missing mystery, the stone of what is which can combine two things, the stone seen in the intro. Kit loosing it turns out to be a good thing as it meant FOWL didn’t get it, and they can find it, and are in town to find him. They pass the hire for hire offices which have a ton of notices on the door, and Dewey is entranced by the idea of cloud kicking, aka sky surfing, aka that thing kit did in the original. We also get to see updated versions of Baloo, Kit and Molly. Sadly no Rebecca. Can’t win em all.

Our trio find Kit whose asleep, clearly having no customers and trying to pass it off like he does. It turns out he knows Della, as they went to flight school together, though she only vaugely remembers him at best. She does remember Molly though, wouldn’t be suprised if that’s another ex of hers either, and wonders what happen to her.. and not just because htere’s always room in Della’s harem. Kit dodges.. and it’s likely in large part because it’s clear to anyone looking despite his statments he’s kinda stalled as an adult. It’s very clear from his surroudings, him being a pilot for hire, and him eagerly taking Dewey on as a sidekick when Dewey shows intresting in Cloud Kicking, that he’s trying to be Baloo. This idea was, according to Frank, the brainchild of the episode’s director, and one of it’s writers and storyboarders, Tanner Johnson. Tanner pitched “What if Kit never outgrew his Baloo fanboying?”.

It’s an intresting idea: while it is sad we don’t get to see the old boy at any point and I do wonder where he is now and what he’s up to in his retirment, probably just flying about free as a bird would be my guess given how he never liked working to begin with, I applaud them for doing something unique with the Tailspin cast that fits into the themes of the season rather than just have them show up. By making it Kit instead of Baloo cargoing them, it gives us more of an arc to work with character wise as Kit has become so obessed with becoming his dad, he never stopped to consider if he was even good at it or enjoyed it.

Using Della is part of what makes this work as she too grew up with a larger than life mentor and adopted dad.. but unlike Kit, she grew up a bit and saw the flaws in her dad. His greed, his selfishness, his tendency to hog the glory, his ego.. she stopped putting him on a pedestal. She still loves him, still wants his respect and admiration to this day, but she gets he’s not perfect and not who she wants to be. Kit clearly never got this message. He never grew out of putting Baloo on a pedsteal and wanting ot literally be him instead of his own man. So he ignored the many flaws in how Baloo lived: Baloo started Talespin having lost his plane because he was so obessed with freedom and doing what he wanted, he didn’t bother actually paying on it and chafed under actually doing work half the time. He’s talented, fun to be around and a hell of pilot bar none, he honestly outclasses Della, but he was entirely irresponsible. Kit’s found himself in the same position Baloo was in: living alone, having not a lot going on, and on the verge of loosing his plane. Not only that he’s worse off because Baloo at least, while lazy, had enough talent. Kit.. isn’t a good pilot as we’ve seen and will see again, and clearly not only dosen’t have a knack for it, but is only doing it because Baloo did. He’s so obsessed with being who he THINKS baloo would want him to be, he never stopped to think that the actual Baloo would just want him to be happy and has probably told him this, or was probably too proud of what Kit was doing to realize what he was doing to his life.

But Della dosen’t have time to get him a therapist, they need to find that stone before FOWL, and Kit offers to take them.. if they hire him. Della scoffs at this and insults the Sea Duck

Yeah Della your fantastic.. but you do NOT insult the Sea Duck and your very, VERY lucky it’s not Baloo you were dealing with as he would’ve turned you down out of principal. The Sea Duck is fucking awesome, and a national treasure. Thankfully Kit instead points out the Sunchaser isn’t in a better place after Dewey Dewed what he dew, so they really don’t have a choice.

Della does draw the line at letting Kit fly as she eventually realizes he’s not good at this, mostly letting Crowby his crowbar do all the work, and finds he has a map to where he dropped the stone, so he dosen’t even have that leg to stand on and throws him out of his own cockpit before he gets them all killed. Okay that time on her side. Kit takes this time to try and train Dewey on cloudkicking... but despite being encaustic at the idea of it the reality leaves Dewford scared shitless.. and doubles up on bad things as Don Karnage and his crew are closing in on the island. FOWL hired them to get it for them, though why FOWL didn’t do so themselves I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong i’m happy to have Jamie back and it really wouldn’t feel right ot have a Tailspin ep without Don Karnage, I just find it odd Bradford would hire outside contractors for this given he has a full staff and not at least send Heron or Steelbeak along to supervise. Regardless, Don puts pleasure before buisness spotting Kit.. and fully commits after finding out Dewey is ALSO involved. I also find it hilarous DEWEY outranks Kit on Don Karnage’s enemy list. So naturally he goes after him, int he personal plane he used in the series which also showed up in the cold open, and with Dewey not having the skill to take Don on, Kit is forced ot step in. He also calls him “Little briches” which while another sign of how much he wants to be his own dad.. is still too awesome not to apricate. Don cuts the line but thanks to Kit’s fancy footwork, they make it out alive and wash up on an island. Della soon joins them, thanks kit for saving her kid then rightfully slaps him for putting him in danger in the first place. Dewey also has to stop her from punching him when he explains he had no idea the stone ended up on this island, which granted she is justified in but Dewey , of all people, rightly saw this means they don’t have to drag a unconcious bear around who probably hasn’t showered in a while. I mean the smell will be there either way but there’s less chance of accidnetlly inhaling too much while he’s conconcious. They also find out what the Stone’s been doing: combining the wildlife leading to rhino monkey hybrid trying to murder them. So at the last minute Frank also squeezed in another disney aftenroon show but one tha’ts not streaming and most don’t care about: the wuzzles, a bunch of hybrids of various animals... Frank couldn’t do much with that as is and just decided to rightfully play it for horror.

Our heroes find Don, whose found the stone.. and is simply throwing most of hi crew at it rather than doing anything productive, with them turning into just.. utterly horrifying combinations. Hands for heads and everything, bug legs, a non-anthro parrot head. it’s pretty tough to watch and I question why the episode did this as Don’s crew did not deserve this and this episode is mostly lightearted before and after this. A tailspin tribute episode episode should not pair well with the song no spill blood.. seroiusly you paid for all I do is win, and rightfully but you couldn’t get this?

youtube

Regardless the kids and manchild are told to stay put while the slightly more functional womanchild takes care of Don. Dewey and Kit naturally don’t, which is fair: what did della expect, the sugared up rabbit in a small duck’s body and the incompitent but charming manchild she’s insulted repedadtly to listen? Naturally they both beef it as Dewey can’t board and while Kit does get Don’s plane, he ends up crashing it instead of doing anything productive. I mean even Launchpad would’ve at least got back to the seaduck.. he would’ve crashed into it but still. Look when you make Launchpad look compietnet you really need to rethink your life. Della has bigger problems though as it turns out the thing they were on.. was a coocoon.. for a butterbear. Oh no. Thankfully this goes better than you’d expect as she’s able to ride the thing and it tangles up some rope, taking the stone of what was with it and Don takes off after it with what pirates he has left.

Our remaining heros return to the Sea Duck. Dewey and Kit plan to do the same thing again and expect diffrent results but Huey.. has some words for them.

He’s fed up with this and points out they need to swap jobs. Dewey CAN fly, and Kit really is good at cloudkicking, it’s in the name, and he needs to return to it. While Dewey balks again stating anyone can be a pilot.. Kit finally admits that’s not true and he’s just not good at it and Huey finally snaps them out o fthier neurosis, Kit a bit late but better late than never given the state of his life, and points out the episode’s aseop: YOU make something special just by doing what you like to do and are good at well. I’ts been hard making these reviews, but I feel i’m getting the hang at it and it’s what I was meant to do, I just had to find it. It’s not always easy to find your calling but when you got it, go for it instead of some version of you you think you should be. So we get pured distilled awesome for the climax. Besides Della again riding a bear that’s also a butterfly, Kit, also a bear I did not miss that gag, proceeds to finally spin it and begin again it as he tears through them with Crowby and easily deispatches the planes finally earning Della’s respect and finally back in his element, using his newfound size and strength combined with his still inherent acrobatics to easily take them out and land on Carnage’s plane and beat him.

So the day is saved: The stone lands on the plane and our heroes properly secure it. Della releases her bear fly but it’ll find it’s way home i’m sure... so majestic. Or it’ll eat all the world’s seagulls. Good news either way.

Back at the bay Kit packs up the stone safetly and gives them the bill. Which Della grumbles at but whiel he didn’t fly he did save their asses.. after endagenring them but still and does have a buisness to run. Plus he has to save his plane.

But it turns out someone’s already bought it. And you can probably guess who.

No not you sweetie.. though he is an investor for the person who DID buy it: Molly, whose taken being danger woman from a 4 year old’s play time to her career running an air stunt show. This is the other thing that cemented the whole aged up versions of these guys working for me: HIstory Repeating itself. Once again an enterprising young woman with a lot of ideas has bought the seaduck from it’s incompitent owner and hires the former owner to work for her. But things are warmer this time: Kit wasn’t happy doing what he was doing, and it’s clear unlike Rebecca, who just bought the first plane she could get and hired baloo because he was who she could afford, they became friends with time and patience if not more but that’s still vauge... Molly did this out of love. She knew Kit was struggling and probably has as many fond memories of the sea duck and baloo as he does and didn’t want someone else to get the old girl. Her air show seems to be going fine, she apparently has a full crew, fans and enough money to purchase another plane on a whim from the bank to expand the show.. she wanted her old plane back and her old brother back. And wheras again Rebecca offered Baloo the job because he wanted to keep his baby safe from some half assed pilot she could afford and she knew it and thus could manipulate him with that. Plus he worked cheap so there. Here Molly just admires her brothers skills and hires them on it and he’s frankly more comfortable being a sidekick than the main star anyway.

He TRIES to brush it off but gladly accepts. God another possible spinoff.. please make this Disney.. and if not at least Reboot tailspin I miss it. Still it’s a very satisfying ending. But what of Don Karnage? Well he’s lost everything as a result of this, unable to get back to his carrier, his crew mostly gone, and FOWL sure to be gunning for him. This is seemingly the end for him.. until he finds a chunk of the stone. “Or the start of an encore”. Wether this was a setup for a possible part of season 4, a possible spinoff or is going to come back in the finale.. we’re just going to have to wait and see won’t we?

Final Thoughts: I really liked this one. It’s not the best of the season: Kit’s arc is kinda telegraphed and Dewey’s arc while intresting isn’t focused on enough to really be that engaging. But the ideas at the core are solid and fit into the series well, the idea to age up our kid heroes from Talespin was really clever and paid off and as usual Adam Pally is a delight and as I said at the top was pitch perfect casting. Couldn’t figure out who played molly and the credits cut out on me, so let mek now if you do but yeah I enjoyed this one> It wasn’t the series at it’s best but given the last two are liable to get pretty intense it was a nice breezy break. And it got me wanting to watch Talespin again and there’s nothing bad about that.

NEXT WEEK: In our penultimate adventure, Ducktales reinacts that one episode of Batman the Animated Series where all of Batman’s foes put him on Trial, as Scrooge’s Rogues put him on trial with Doofus as prosecuter and Louie for the defense. Well at least it’s not Lionel Hutz.

This Week: Lots of Ducks! The lena retrospective continues as we take a detour for some comix, and we begin the Della arc as we go back to the start. It’s finally time to talk about Woo-Ooo!.

If any of this sounds appealing follow my blog for more. If you like these reviews head over to my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, and become a patreon. At the 5 dollar level you get a review a month and even a dollar helps get to my stretch goals. I’m up to 15 a month so 20 is next and that means a darkwing duck review every month! And if you really like Talespin like I do, 25 nets you a tailspin review a month and a review of the pilot. Ohohohohohohoo. See you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #talespin #the lost cargo of kit cloudkicker #della duck #dewey duck #kit cloudkicker #molly cunningham #danger woman #huey duck #don karnage #disney channel #the disney afternoon

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ask-artsy-oncie · 3 years

Note

I’m kind of interested in Talespin now thanks to you and lollytea, where do you think a good place to start would be?

Oh!! Awesome awesome awesome!!! It’s a very good show to be interested in!! Thank you for asking!!

Under the cut cos this is long!!

For starters, let’s talk about where you might want to watch it. Disney+ is a good, legal option, but, from what I’ve heard, the episodes aren’t in order on that service, and I also wouldn’t subscribe to that service just to watch one show. There are... *ahem*, OTHER sites that you can use to watch this show (THIS one works better on mobile devices but you’ll want to use their beta servers (which you can choose once you click on an episode to watch) to be the safest) but I strongly suggest that if you’re going to be watching cartoons in this manner, you’ll need to equip yourself with an adblocker at the very least. I also highly recommend finding a VPN to use (though it’s not completely necessary), and there are many free VPNs you can choose from, or others that offer up to a month of free trial time. Finally, another legal way to enjoy the show is to buy the DVDs, which are very nice quality. I have a few complete series DVD cartoon collections and I honestly think this is up there with the higher-quality ones. Though, realistically, you’ll want to make sure that you actually like the series before dropping something like $30 for a box set.

As for which episodes to watch? The absolute basics that you’ll need to understand the series is the 4-part pilot, Plunder & Lightning. This sets up all the main characters and their relation to one another. Just so you know, there is a scene that’s been cut from Plunder & Lightning that’s absent from pretty much any place you can watch the series. You can watch the isolated scene HERE, but wait until you finish Part 2 to do so.

The rest of the series is episodic (save for a few 2-part episodes here and there) and can technically be watched in any order. However, it’s very important to note that this series has a subtle sense of progression when the episodes are watched in order. Dynamics between characters change slightly, or a character who learns something in one episode (minor spoilers, but, for example, Becky learning how to fly) doesn’t magically lose that knowledge later, so there are just these subtle changes to the status quo that you might notice and potentially be confused by if you don’t watch the show chronologically.

I’ll give you some differently-tailored lists depending on what you’re interested in watching the series for. None of these will include Plunder & Lightning because it’s such a must-watch that all the lists would just have it by default.

If you want my personal recommendation on which episodes to watch:

It Came From Beneath The Sea Duck Time Waits for No Bear I Only Have Ice For You Molly Coddled Stormy Weather Bearly Alive Her Chance to Dream A Bad Reflection on You (Parts 1&2) A Baloo Switcheroo Feminine Air Save the Tiger The Old Man and the Sea Duck War of the Weirds Gruel and Unusual Punishment Jolly Molly Christmas My Fair Baloo Bringing Down Babyface Louie’s Last Stand Sheepskin Deep Your Baloo’s in the Mail The Incredible Shrinking Molly

If you want to watch episodes in preparation for the Ducktales 2017 crossover (Kit and Molly episodes):

It Came From Beneath The Sea Duck Mommy for a Day Molly Coddled Stormy Weather A Bad Reflection on You (Parts 1&2) Flight of the Snow Duck Save the Tiger Jolly Molly Christmas Flight School Confidential The Incredible Shrinking Molly

If you’re interested in Baloo and Rebecca’s relationship:

Time Waits for No Bear I Only Have Ice for You Stormy Weather Bearly Alive Her Chance to Dream A Star is Torn A Touch of Glass The Bigger They Are, the Louder They Oink A Spy in the Ointment The Balooest of the Bluebloods Whistlestop Jackson, Legend Feminine Air Save the Tiger War of the Weirds The Time Bandit Gruel and Unusual Punishment My Fair Baloo Pizza Pie in the Sky Your Baloo’s in the Mail The Incredible Shrinking Molly

And I wouldn’t be adding this list if you hadn’t specified me and Lolly, but since it definitely comes up a lot, here’s a list of episodes you’ll want to watch to understand at least half of what Lolly writes about Shere Khan and Shagheera lmao (Or - the Shere Khan episodes):

From Here to Machinery (minor) A Bad Reflection on You (Parts 1&2) On a Wing and a Bear Whistlestop Jackson, Legend Save the Tiger Citizen Khan Louie’s Last Stand Baloo Thunder (minor) Bullethead Baloo

It’s also worth mentioning that Talespin has a decent number of comics (and a few storybooks) that vary in quality and how believably they fit into canon. The main line of comics (before it got canceled after 7 issues) was going to delve pretty deeply into character backstories, though none of the show’s crew worked on the comics, and a few of these backstories (like Becky’s) were ones series creator Jymn Magon preferred to have left shrouded in mystery. So take of these stories for what you will.

Most of the scans (though they also exist in varying quality, and it might be viable to just buy an issue of the comics if you happen to like it a lot) can be found HERE (mobile friendly). This is a European fansite for Talespin (since fansites used to be the best place to store large archives of both fan and official material) and, though it seems like it isn’t kept up-to-date anymore, it does have a LOT of archives of old merchandise outside of the show, itself. My recommendations for the comics are as follow:

The Gates of Shambhala Danger With Danger Woman A Night on the Town Voodoo Baloo Pirate for a Day Congratulations, You Have Just Won... Flight of the Sky-Raker (Parts 1&2) Idiots Aboard! F’reeze A Jolly Good Fellow The Long Flight Home The Volcano of Gold

There’s also The Legend of the Chaos God, which is on this site, and was a massive Disney Afternoon crossover comic. It’s very long, and if you aren’t really a fan of many Disney Afternoon shows, you may get a little confused/disinterested. It is worth noting, though, that references to this comic have been made in Ducktales 2017.

One final thing I feel like I should mention: Talespin, and other Disney Afternoon properties, are still products of their time. They have themes and aspects that are no longer considered politically correct, and there are, quite frankly, some bad depictions of indigenous peoples present. These can be found both within the shows and within the comics. Some episodes of Talespin have even had enough excessive violence or themes that have rendered them “banned” due to television age-ratings changing heavily after the September 11th attacks. However, all episodes were made available on DVD and every method of watching the shows should have everything. There are references to the Cold War due to the time period the show was set (mid-1930′s) and the time that it was airing (1990, yeah the Cold War lasted a really long time...). There is excessive gun violence in this show and even depictions of attempted public execution.

These aren’t things that ruin the show for me. As someone who grew up watching older animation, you just learn to consume these things critically and still enjoy them despite this, which I highly recommend anyone watching the original Disney Afternoon shows (and any other older pieces of media) do. However, I don’t feel right dropping someone into the show blindly and pretend these things don’t exist. This and other Disney Afternoon shows don’t lose sight of the fact that they are, at the end of the day, cartoons for children, and the tone through which most of these elements are presented aren’t excessively dark. I think that if you can get past Plunder & Lightning just fine, the rest of the series should also be fine for you! If not, well, you probably just wouldn’t be comfortable with the rest of the show, and that’s okay, too! Not every piece of media is for everyone!

And with that, this should be everything you need to get into the series! I hope this has helped, and I hope you have as much fun watching the show as I do! I’m always happy to spread the love for Talespin!

#talespin #faq

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

Guardian of creatures; AU! Queen x reader chap. 1

*Author’s note*

Well it took awhile from the last update (plus things have been happening in my personal life like losing yet ANOTHER kitty cat this year) but I finally came around and deliver to you guys the first chapter of my new Hallowqueen series. Now keep in mind it’s mostly in 2nd PERSON POV which means as the reader it’s basically gender neutral, so be patient with me as I try to make sure to keep my pronouns in order. Also I hope you all watch the video I have linked in the story, I def. LOVED it when I first found it years ago and this guy can really sing and bring a gender-bend Disney character to life, so if you’ve never heard of him, check out his page you won’t regret it :)

Now not really any warnings per-say except rude bosses, seductive gestures,

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@dancingcoolcat

@queendeakyy

@kinole009x

@klausidiot

@geek-and-proud

__________________________________________________________

Chapter 1,

First day on the Job

*April 11th, 1926*

First day on the job. Well it’s really an internship but you were looking forward to it. Working for the New York Times was an opportunity for any writer. Your dream was to one day publish the next great American novel, as a child you’ve always been whisked away by the words and tales of dragons, sea-baring pirates, and worlds unlike the one you lived in.

It amazed you how one writer can just take you away on a journey and help distract you from the stresses of the world. And here is where your journey began in hopes of accomplishing that dream.

You had first heard about the internship for the NY Times in the papers in an advertisement. The call asked for a 300 word sample of your writing as well as any previous writing experiences you’ve had in the past.

In school you’ve been part of the school newspaper and helped write up advertisements for after school events. So after submitting your sample as well as a resume, about 2 months later you finally got a letter from the NY times wanting to do an interview.

Long story short, the interview went great and now you’ve got the internship. You now stood before the doors that would start your future in the world of writing. Tugging the strap of your suitcase over your shoulder, you take a deep breath in before exhaling and entered inside.

Already swarms of people flooded the first floor of the building, their voices echoing off the large room. The repeated sounds of phones ringing piercing the room as secretaries at their desks were answering them.

It felt like a dream to you for you to actually think that you were now working in one of the top Newspapers brands in all of America.

“You there!” a voice called out. You turned and saw a young man in a brown suit. “Why are you just standing there!? We are running a newspaper here, not a charity tour.”

“Sorry, I’m….my name is (y/n) (l/n). I’m the new intern to Mr. Grayson.”

“Ohh right. He’s been expecting you. You’re late by the way.”

“Late? But I’m right on……”

“One rule about working under Mr. Grayson, he expects his interns and anyone on his team to arrive before he does. Which is 6am on the dot. And it is now,” he looks down at his watch, “8:45. That’s a good start.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t tole. I promise it’ll never happen again.”

“See to it that it doesn’t. I’m Harry Wormwood, Vice President of the New York Times.”

“Oh Mr. Wormwood it’s an honor to—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get up to your post and start your internship.”

“Yes sir.” You said solemnly. Wow he was rude. To think you have a VP like him that acts like that around new people, especially interns. But he was right, you had to get up to meet with your head of office and get right to work with whatever he needed help on.

You adjusted your bag once more before heading straight to the elevator and went up to the 13th floor. After a bit of a ride and getting some more people in the elevator with you, you finally arrive to your floor.

People, like down in the first floor, were swarming the room, typewriters were tapping away as men were at their desks typing away their stories and articles for the paper. Or as they like to call it ‘putting the paper to bed’. You walk forward towards a middle aged man with ginger colored hair and ask him.

“Excuse me, do you know where Mr. Grayson’s office is at?”

“In the back, straight down the hall, last door. It’ll have his name plagued on the door in gold.” He said without looking you in the eye.

“Great, thank you.” you followed his instructions but when you got to his door, there was sounds of a commotion going on. Well when you say that you mean the sound of someone yelling and belittling someone, then yes.

“YOU GODDAMN SONS OF BITCHES!!! If we can get a picture of Joan Crawford in lingerie, then we can surely get a hold of this damn jazz club!” you peek inside and inside you see four men surrounding a desk.

And right there at his desk with a cigar between his teeth was your new boss, Mr. Richard Grayson. He was a middle aged man around his late 40’s possible even early 50’s. He was a fairly tall man with greying short hair, a small mustache across his lip.

But what really made him well known was the way he carried himself. He was always described as a man who carried himself like a drill sergeant (that could be because he was one during the Great War). A true, Bronx accent that carried out demands for miles and miles on end.

“Sir, we have tried everything we could to get a hold of an interview inside but not even our best interviewers could get pass security.” Said a blonde haired man in a blue suit.

“Our photographer Eddie has been on it for weeks and the owners have threatened a lawsuit against him because he’s been taking pictures of the club without consent.”

“Aww what are they shy?” Mr. Grayson mocked out. “Then let them sue us then, get rich on their own standards! That’s what made this country stand the way it is!”

“Maybe we should just forget about it.” Said a brown haired man.

“I have been on this case for years. Ever since these mysterious owners built their club at the start of the decade and has remained popular I want to know just what the secret to their success.”

“Sir the only thing we have is that the owners come from England and that they prefer a specific crowd of people.” Answered a young man around your age who had black hair.

“Yeah right they do.” Mr. Greyson muttered sarcastically. That’s when he suddenly turned towards you. “You!” he pointed at you. You’re startled by his loud, strong voice as you quickly come inside his office.

“Sorry sir I-I-I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I really should’ve knocked.”

“You’re the new intern right?” he ignored your apology and went straight to the question at hand.

“Y-Yes sir.”

“Excellent. I want you to go to this night club and get an exclusive interview with the owners, bartender, musicians, I don’t care who. Just find someone to talk to and ask them about their Jazz club.”

“Sir you can’t give it to them. This is a big responsibility, not to mention too much for a fresh intern to take over.” Said the man in the brown suit that you saw first speak to Mr. Grayson.

“Shut it Mack! You remember what I had you do the first day you were late working for me. What better way to get started than by throwing fresh meat to the wolves.”

Can you say you regret working here yet? No too early? Okay then.

“So what do you say kid, will you do it?” before you could even answer, your boss continues, “Of course you’ll do it. Now then. Take this camera, your notepad, and come up with a clever story to get inside. Good luck kid!” he tosses you a camera and notepad before escorting you out of his office and shutting the door behind you.

Okay……what the fuck just happened? It all happened so fast you almost couldn’t even believe it. And what jazz club did he want you to check out again?

Later that night (after getting the information from some of your new team members) you now stood before the building you were supposed to go undercover for.

In a bright neon sign at the side of the building was the name BEWITCHED JAZZ. Now you have heard of this club before and remember it getting fairly good praise from the public and has a good swarm of people. Hell even some of the biggest names in Hollywood have been seen going into that club.

But there was always an air of mystery about it. Like Mr. Grayson said, security is always tight. First of all security actually gives you a pat down before entering inside. Any traces of photography or recording equipment is immediately destroyed (yes you heard, destroyed).

Thinking it’d be best, you decide to leave the camera in your car and just wait it out. Cause that seems to be the problem that most of Mr. Greyson’s reporters don’t seem to get, they just think barging on in will get them access. A good reporter always plans ahead and blends in with the crowd, observes then goes in for the kill.

You stand in the line and for about an hour you stand there waiting to get inside until finally it’s your turn to go up.

“Next.” A very tall and muscular man speaks out as he unhooks the rope allowing you to come forward. “Pardon but I’m gonna need to do a pat down.”

“Go ahead.” As he carefully and precisely starts the pat down, you can’t help but feel intimidated, hell his whole hand goes halfway down your leg and covers your entire back. He was a pretty intimidating man to look at, and you hope he doesn’t snap you like a toothpick.

“Now you don’t have any weapons or outside drinks that I’m not aware of?” he asks in that deep, deep baritone voice of his.

“No sir.” You answer.

“Show me some identification.” You pull out your wallet and give him your ID. He looks down at it before looking towards you skeptically.

Swallowing nervously, the giant just looks at you with a skeptical look before finally giving you back your ID.

“Go right on in.” what? Oh god you couldn’t believe you could actually go in. You take your ID and put it back inside your wallet and thank the guard before stepping inside.

It was a fairly big place, about 3000 sq. ft. A decent size of the typical jazz clubs in NYC. It looked like any ordinary jazz club, firefly lights hanging from the ceiling, the lights lowered to a slight shadow, tables surrounding everywhere, including each side of the catwalk.

A grand stage was at the very center of the building with a band playing an upbeat jazz score. Waiters and bartenders tending to each customer. Some people were dancing to the music while most were sitting down talking to one another.

“Wow.” You softly muttered.

“It’s alright but we make do.” A voice suddenly spoke up. You jump back startled but you stop as you stare at the man before you.

He was unlike any other man you’ve seen in your entire life. He was fairly tall and lean, but not unhealthily skinny, just lean. His eyes were almost a hypnotic blue and he had fairly sharp features, particularly his nose and even his profile.

It was like looking at an angel. But what really struck your attention was the curly hair he had. It reminded you of that one scientist from like the medieval ages or something, what was his name again uhh—Neutron? New—Newton! Isaac Newton that’s the guy.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“No it’s—it’s fine. I’m just…..I was just admiring the place. I’ve…..never really been to a jazz club before.”

“Well, I hope we here at the BEWITCHED can help fill your desires. Oh manners, I’m Brian. Head Bartender.” Head bartender? That’s new.

“What’s a head bartender?”

“Basically I run the bar and train all the other bartenders so that every drink is made to perfection. Now come, sit and let me prepare you something.” He does a gentle gesture towards the bar with his arm and you go to sit at an empty cushioned barstool. Wow this was really cushioned, it kinda reminded you of sofa material. Now so soft that you sink into it but not hard enough to where it’s uncomfortable.

Brian goes around the bar and stands before you and asks with a warm smile and says with that soft voice of his that you can somehow hear over the music.

“Now what can I get for you?”

“Actually I’m…..don’t really know my drinks that well, what’s your most popular one?”

“Well the most popular drink on our menu is French 75. A pretty basic cocktail made with gin, champagne and lemon. I think the main reason why people like it so much is they think it’s actually from France but in truth it really isn’t.” he teases the last part of his statement which makes you softly laugh. “There’s also the Bees Knees, also called our ‘bathtub gin’. Mainly from our pianist player. But that’s basically gin, fresh lemon juice and honey. To give it that sweet yet tart flavor.”

“I think I’ll go with the Bee’s Knees then.” He gave a snap of his fingers.

“Coming right up.” He pulls out a small circular bowl wine glass and with graceful precision he starts whipping up the drink. Shaking the cocktail up in a perfect blend, pouring out the right amount of gin and juice into the concoction. Before finally topping it off with some honey and stirred it up.

Then with a grace and delicate pour, he pours the Bee’s Knees, which comes out in a beautiful, clear sunset orange color into the glass before topping it off with two flower decoration toppings.

“Here you are.” He said as he picked it up delicately from the stem of the glass and handed it over to you. You set down a dollar and took a small sip of it.

And as soon as your tastebuds were washed over with the drink, it was like you had died and gone to heaven.

“Oh my god! This is sooo good!”

“I’m glad you like it. That’s actually one of the owner’s preferred cocktails of choice. Can’t get enough of it.”

“I can see why. And he certainly has good taste.”

“She does. Actually.” Wait did he just say. I quickly looked up at him and I stammered.

“Wait—you mean this……”

“It’s a partnership. Both she and her husband own the place. She makes most of the decisions since she knows the business world better than any of us. While he takes care of the finances, she’s always been lousy when it comes to the math. Don’t tell her I said that though.”

“My lips are sealed.” You say as you take another sip of your drink.

The curtains then close and a spotlight came on at the center of the curtain. That’s when you suddenly hear all the ladies in the room beginning to scream bloody murder. God never have you heard so many women scream before nor have you seen them try to get up to the stage so quickly in your life.

“Here they go again.” Brian says as he starts cleaning out a beer glass.

“What?” you ask.

“Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night when my mate preforms, the ladies all go crazy at the chance of getting to him.”

“Mate? You mean you guys are…..” you ask curiously.

“Oh no nothing like that. Where we come from mate means best friend. But even though I don’t condone his constant flirtatious behavior, he’s gotten me out of more scraps than I care to imagine.”

Peeking through the velvet blue curtain was an arm. The red glittering sequin pattern delicately bounced off the spotlight and soon a hypnotic, soft yet raspy voice began to sing. When the curtains opened up and a soft jazz tune began playing, on stage stood a very, very, very, very handsome man.

When you say handsome, you really mean handsome. This man looked like he was carved from the god with his ruffled up blonde hair, his piercing blue eyes that unlike Brian’s which were soft and inviting, this guy had hypnotic eyes that just draw you in and could kill you.

He wore a bright sequin cherry red tail suit which was unbuttoned pretty much all the way down, exposing his upper body to the ladies. His neck decorated with 3 necklaces. One of which went practically down to where his abs were, the other hung right at the center of his chest and was in the shape of some sort of snail shell or some other type of seashell. The last one was more of a choker but was decored with beautiful diamonds like a crown of sorts.

He strut across the stage with grace and purpose as he continued to sing with a lustful, hypnotic tone that just made you go numb and melt in your seat. And your eyes refusing to look away from this handsome creature before you.

*Male singer*

I got plenty money in 1922 You let other rich men make a fool of you Why don't you do right like some other gals do?

He kneels down in front of the stage in front of a beautiful young woman. She had long, wavy blonde hair and she looked up at this man with lust in her eyes. He placed a dollar bill between her teeth and closed her mouth as he walked down the steps of the stage.

He then walked over towards a woman with short raven hair. She was fairly lean and had almost an aristocratic air about her. He stood in front of her and took her hand in his. He leaned towards her hand almost wanting to kiss the back of it, but his lips teased her hand and you could see her slightly shiver past her authorative demeanor.

With a cunning grin, he then stripped his tailcoat off his back leaving the undercoat which exposed his bare arms, the hint of black ocean waves tattoos decorated around his biceps.

You couldn’t speak at this point as you felt our heart racing rapidly, almost as if it were about to pop right out of your chest. The man soon turned his eyes right on you. His piercing eyes staring deep into your soul.

Slowly walking towards you, he circles around you like a wolf circling it’s prey. His hand gently grazes up your arm and you feel a bolt of electricity run up your spine, and it didn’t help when his hot breath gently sung in your ear.

Let’s get out of here, I got some money for you

You're sittin' down wonderin' what it's all about If you ain't got no money they will put you out Why don't you do right like some other gals do? Let’s get out of here, I got some money for you

Now if you had prepared twenty years ago You wouldn't be wanderin' now from door to door Why don't you do right like some other gals do? You didn’t know why but you were willing to let this god-like siren just devour you. But when you turned your attention back to him, you saw that he was now looking towards you left at the upper floors.

There at the top of the red carpet stairs stood a fairly beautiful woman. Her hair was a beautiful long ginger color and she wore a similar sparkling dark cherry red dress. She held in her hand a silver dollar.

He slowly walked up towards the mysterious woman that stood by the stairs and the two stared each other down. She gave him the dollar but before she took her hand away, he took it in his and stared up at her like she was an angel (which you’ll admit, she did kinda look like one).

Let’s get out of here, I got some money for you

Let’s get out of here, I got some money for you Why don't you do right, like some other gals, do?

As he did a falsetto for the final note, he grazed the woman’s hand before doing his seductive walk back towards the stage. He turned back towards the audience and gave a flirtatious wink before the curtains closed on him.

The ladies all screamed as the lights came back up and you felt the spell the man had somehow placed on you slowly fade away. Right now if you had to describe how you were feeling it’s be like running a marathon and had just swam across the entire Pacific ocean twice.

“Hope he didn’t scare you too bad honey.” A soft, Southern accent spoke. You turned around and there stood the woman that the blonde singer had tried to seduce with his voice. But she didn’t seem affected like all the other women were.

“I-I ju……he was……” she lowly chuckled.

“He has that effect on all the ladies. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Brian dear, get this dear a glass of water.”

“Right away my lady.” Brian said as he prepared you a glass of water. She takes a seat beside you and continues.

“He may act all macho and seductive. But trust me, his bark is worse than his bite.” She spoke in that honey-like voice of hers that had a slight raspy to it, but it didn’t change the softness to her motherly tone.

“Who—who was he?” you ask her.

“He only gives out his name to those he truly trusts. So most of the ladies here call him the blonde Siren.”

“The blonde Siren?”

“Now I hope I’m not being intrusive but I haven’t seen you in this club before, have I?”

“No. This—is my first time actually.”

“Really? For business or pleasure?” she said as she leaned her chin against fist, looking at you with red eyes? Wait she had red eyes? And not like the kind of red that comes from being tired or when you get pink eye. They were literally red eyes, blood red to be exact. Not wanting her to see that you were stuck in thought you came up with a good excuse.

“I’ve just heard about this place from some friends and—wanted to see for myself.” She looked at me skeptically at first but a soft grin spread across her face.

“Well we try our best. We also want to make sure that first timers are treated fairly and respectfully. That’s the one law here at BEWITCHED.”

“Well I’m fairly happy. The drinks are amazing and the music is phenomenal.”

“I’m glad.” She then hummed out a chuckle. “Silly me, I almost forgot, you can call me Serafina. I’m the owner of this fine establishment.” Your eyes widened.

This young and beautiful woman owned this entire place?! But she couldn’t be older than her mid 20’s. And the fact that she was a woman running this club, that’s completely unheard of. A woman owning such a booming business.

Of course there wasn’t any jealously on your part. In fact you were amazed that such a young woman could run a business like this and be so successful.

“Brian told me that a woman owned this place. But—pardon me for saying this but you’re…….”

“Too young to run a big business?” she said with a quirked brow. Thinking you had offended her you tried to defend your statement but all that came out were stutters of embarrassment. “Relax honey. I get that a lot. Why do you think we’re so secretive? A young woman running a big business. Oh the scandal of it all!” the two of you laugh.

The big clock along the ceiling soon chimed out midnight. Whoa it’s already that late.

“I should get going. If I’m late for work again my boss will kick me to the curb for sure. And on my second day no less.”

“You sure you’re sober enough to drive honey?” Serafina asked you. You give her a nod.

“Yeah. I only really had one drink and that water sobered me up a lot. Thank you so much Brian, Serafina.”

“Anytime sweetie. Hope to see you again soon.” Serafina says with a warm smile. You grab your wallet and pay the rest of your tab to Brian before finally walking out of the club.

*3rd Person POV*

Once they were gone, Brian turned to her and said.

“It was them.”

“Just as Freddie prophesized.” Serafina dropped her fake accent and spoke with her normal British tone.

“So it is time then?” another British male voice spoke up. The High elf and the ginger haired witch turned and soon walking towards them was John Deacon himself.

His once long hair was now cut down to a short tuff of brown hair. He wore a clean-cut black tailcoat suit. Serafina extended her hand and the two lovers joined hands with each other.

“Yes my love.”

“Honestly I hoped this day would never come.”

“But it must John. You know this. You have seen what will happen if they don’t help us.” Brian warned him.

“I’m not sure if we can even trust them.” Coming around the bar to pour himself a drink was Roger. “They’re human. And humans have been poking around in our business for centuries. Especially their reporters. We already run the risk of exposing ourselves to the human realm.” He took a shot of his beer.

‘Now, now my darlings we mustn’t quarrel.’ A soft, serpent voice spoke in their heads. ‘The humans are our least concern right now. What matters now is getting our key to help us finally put an end to the dark Wizards once and for all.’

“Yes Freddie.” All four of them softly chorused out.

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dragon-momther · 4 years

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I finally watched Descendants 3 and here’s my thoughts no one asked for.

In no particular order.

Unexpectedly long post so uh... read if you want

Emotions! Happy, laughter, sadness, heartfelt. Nothing groundbreaking but a great story of friends and family - the whole series for that matter. Not about where you came from but who you chose to be, whom you choose to love

I still wasnt ready to see Cameron. I cried.

Hades? Best worst dad 10/10. I knew that was gonna be the reveal but I was pleasantly surprised with how nicely they did it. They could have made him cliché 2D evil but they didnt! I didn’t expect to love his character

I love the subtle cues between him and Mal - not just in personality, but the choreography in Do What You Gotta Do, and their costume design! To me it shows that, all along, Mal has been nothing like her mom. Someone else pointed out that Mal’s hair and outfit colors shift to have blue reflecting her becoming more “Hades” which just solidifies this to me

She wanted Maleficent's approval, but Hades’ attention/care (yeah you’re the god of hell but couldn’t you wish me a happy birthday like... once?)

“My attention would have made you softer.” He would have been a doting dad and (as someone else mentioned) he knew that wouldn’t fly on the Isle. She would have gotten eaten alive. He was doing what he thought was best for her.

Hades’ “suffering husband” attitude was hilarious. [Overall I just like the facets they gave his personality!]

Dramatic goth bitch. Don’t roll your eyes, Mal, cause this is clearly where you get it from.

Hades suppressed shock (and dare I say pride) seeing Mal turn into a dragon at the beginning

Oh the “Hi, dad” and little snarky hand wiggle when they reunite. Cheyenne’s portrayal of Hades was great

Hades? Married? To Maleficent? The lore connotations are really funny. Clearly they all have a second parent but Mal happens to be the offspring of the two most powerful beings. (I mean, no shame, Maleficent. You go girl. Marry a god) and also him tolerating her long enough to have a kid

Please tell me Hades is really the one who gave Mal the name Bertha

On that note Ben (and their friends!) takes the knowledge that his fiancée is a demigod extremely chill. Like can you imagine your inlaws are an unfathomably powerful fairy and the fucking Greek god of hell?

Honeymoon on Olympus anyone?

[I said it D1 and I’ll say it again. Why is a teenager the king? Belle? You don’t need to retire sweetie. You have No Reason to hand over the crown to a boy who hasn’t graduated. Why Are These Children Getting Married]

We were robbed of Fully Powered Mal and I am, for one, offended

Also Ben’s panicked “Hi, Dad.”

Hades! Dad! Just that. That’s it. Wants to make up for the 16 years. (I wish we saw his reaction to his wife (ex?) being a lizard)

Is there marriage on the Isle?? Officiant??? Who’s moonlighting as an evil wedding planner?! Is there a fantasy disney villain divorce attorney or is Hades just hiding from his wife because he can’t do anything else

Hades noped off underground into a lair no one can find solely to avoid Maleficent, you can’t change my mind

Hades’ staredown of Ben. Protective dad 101 but he can and will kill you and ensure your afterlife sucks if you hurt her

The entire ending was great, esp with all the Hades-Mal reconciliation.

Mal revealing her lineage not just to her friends, but to the world, is fantastic character development. She’s not just telling the whole truth at last (as we saw her struggle with through the whole series) but she’s laying her biggest secret to the world. Completely vulnerable. Her people deserve to know, and it solidifies her point of “you never know where a hero will come from.” Because the product of the two strongest villains became the greatest of all of them.

Also this finally shows the whole “real” Mal and, as Carlos said, “if [they] don’t love the real you...”

Hey Doug I love you but for the love of the gods please cut your hair

Jarlos painfully, adorably awkward. Help what is flirt?

Harry? 12/10 boy just desperately wants to be loved, someone give him more hugs.

The subtle gestures with Uma? Iconic. Some of my favorite acts of affection are the little private things. The hugs, the way he holds her when they reunite, the little touches on her arm/shoulder/back. I saw you go to kiss her on the head, Harry. The editors can’t stop me

I haven’t talked about Audrey but she was meh in comparison to all the rest of this stuff. Not a bad character or villain plot, just... there

OST was a hit or miss for me, I didn’t like as many of the songs in D3 as the other two. DWYGD slaps tho. I love the banter

The pirates and VKs becoming friends, Gil getting respect, excuse me while my heart explodes

The costuming continued to slay. BLEASE can I have Mal’s dragon jewelry I’m begging

I watched it twice.

Thank you for your time, I’ll be in my silence corner

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marcirose · 4 years

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So, earlier, I was having a conversation with one of my buddies on Discord who wasn’t happy with how the Disney worlds were handled in KH3 (Well, KH3 in general save for the combat and they said they would prefer no Disney worlds at all which I know that’s your opinion but sir why??) and it kind of got me thinking again about how disconnected Nomura is with the community.

The general consensus in the community is the story and lore about the original characters and worlds are what matter the most and the Disney stuff is just filler. And that’s. . . a really bad mindset imo.

Because, in a way, the Disney worlds are important to the story and the characters. Just not in the way people would expect.

I mean, yeah I do question some things (why there was no coliseum, why Randall wasn’t a boss fight, why Hans was even in Arendelle to begin with because he didn’t even have a single line or grunt), but in my opinion, the Disney worlds are there not for plot, but for character development. The worlds in KH3 are no exception.

Each of the worlds follows one of two themes: Olympus, KOC, and Arendelle carry the theme of true love’s sacrifice (taisetsu na hito spread the word). Toy Box, Monstropolis, Pirates, 100 Acre Wood, and San Fransokyo carry the theme of separation.

It’s explicitly stated in game that Sora has to traverse these worlds in order to regain the Power of Waking, and it was confirmed by the KH3 Ultimania that it was his heart that led him to these worlds with the phrase “May your heart be your guiding key”.

Also in these worlds (especially in the novel and character files), we get to see more of Sora’s inner thoughts, thoughts we probably wouldn’t see otherwise.

So while the Disney worlds might not be as plot relevant as they used to be, they do serve to drive character. And character is also an important factor when writing an overarching story, especially when one has gone on as long as Kingdom Hearts.

So, this is something I don’t think the community fully understands just yet, and these are just my personal thoughts so I could be wrong about why the Disney worlds are here.

Putting the narrative aspect aside, I think it also has to do with Kingdom Hearts being a Disney IP and what it was originally based on.

The general idea of Kingdom Hearts if you’re looking at it from an outside perspective and nothing further is you’re travelling through the different Disney movies and meeting your favorite characters. That’s the part of the series that gives it its charm. Without Disney, it would look like another typical Square Enix JRPG or be called a Final Fantasy spinoff.

(Also also Nomura has tried his god damn best time and time again to separate KH and FF. If you take away what makes Kingdom Hearts. . . well, Kingdom Hearts, it defeats the purpose of giving it its own identity.)

Another note is how much creative freedom Nomura has with the Disney properties. With each world he chooses, he’s given a set of guidelines that he has to work around because Walt pretty much has him at gunpoint 24/7 and will pull the trigger if he doesn’t like what he sees. Because of that, Nomura’s pretty limited with what he can do, and depending on how much freedom he has with each property is based on that. Arendelle is the PRIME example of how limited he was. Because let’s be real. If Nomura could do whatever he wanted with the worlds in KH3, it would probably be A LOT different than what we have.

(I recommend watching MatPat’s video on how Arendelle was originally going to go down and how its drastic change led to what it is now because it’s totally plausible given how. . . dull that world is.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Neau6ttz6Bk

So, point is, the Disney worlds aren’t as “pointless” or “unnecessary” as someone only looking at this series at surface level would say or if you’re only in it for the original characters and plot. While they may not have as much importance to the overall plot as much as they used to in KH1 and 2, they shifted from trying to tie into the narrative the best they can to being more character driven and allowing the characters to possibly learn more about themselves. So the plot --while still heavily important-- temporarily takes a backseat for the characters to have a breather every once in a while and possibly do something they want to do and not something they have to do.

“Yes, I have to regain the power of waking. Yes, I have to go through the worlds to find a clue. Yes, I have to stop Xehanort. But, I want to hang out with Rapunzel. I want to sail on a pirate ship with Jack. I want to help Elsa and Anna.”

I hope I conveyed this the best of my ability instead of it looking like a bunch of rambling. I just think people aren’t giving the Disney worlds enough credit.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kh meta #disney #you're free to disagree #but the disney worlds are there for a reason #and they're important whether you see it or not #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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glacecakes · 4 years

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How do you rank Disney's cartoons. I'm thinking more recent ones like The Owl House or Tangled, but you can also suggest some older ones! (I dont watch a lot of Disney animated stuff, so you're my main source lol)

i mean i can rank em? like best to worst out of the ones i’ve seen

1. Gravity falls - the gold standard, the cream of the crop, one of the best shows ever written imo. Amazing humor, lovable characters, intense mystery, and a good chunk of horror!

2. Owl House - there’s a reason everyone compares it to Gravity falls- it’s made by the same people! I’d argue the cast of this one is more lovable, and LGBT! CANON LESBIAN AMITY! Gravity falls may have better storytelling but it walked so Owl House could run. And the animation! God it’s gorgeous! Gravity falls and Owl House are a sorta before and after the cartoon renaissance, it’s very good. My current hyperfixation.

3. Ducktales - also a good mystery, with good humor too! The characters are charming, the scenarios are great, I love the pacing of this show too. I’m not really as into it as I am the rest of these shows but I have to admit it’s objectively really good, and I watch new episodes when they’re piratable.

4. Star vs the Forces of Evil - Seasons 1-3 are incredible, but Season 4 had to be rushed since they weren’t anticipating it being the last one. Which is a damn shame. The world building is excellent, it’s got a really nice anti-colonialism, anti-racism narrative. Star and Marco are both very lovable, but imo Eclipsa steals the show whenever she’s on screen. I adore her. The show’s ending is... a mess, but the rest of the show is nice.

5. Tangled the Series - listen I love Varian and 7K and Team Awesome to death, but the show itself.... is a mess. A big ol’ mess. You know how Voltron got screwed over by the show runners going off course and being a general POS? Same thing happened to Tangled. There’s rumors abound about Varian’s arc and how it got screwed over, esp since Chris has openly hated Varian fans for not being true fans of the show. But it’s got really nice animation and godly music, and Varian is the show fave for a reason. Idk if i’d recommend it, Season 1 is great, season 2 sucks, and season 3 is hit or miss. :/

#long post #Anonymous

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kinglarrykoopadx · 3 years

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My top 10 all time favorite characters

10. Captain Basilisx (SMBZ)

One of the few redeeming factors of SMBZ, Captain Basilisx is one of Bowser’s more threatening forces. An incredible badass who’s better than Shadow the Hedgefart (fight me) that has Medusa’s gaze and is the only one out of Bowser’s army who canonically kills Mario in the og series (the Reboot does not count, it does not exist to me). And his theme song, like god damn, that remix of Show No Tears from DMC3 is a banger. The only reason he’s this low is cause Basilisx is a one time character. His debut episode, The Great Doomship Offensive, was his final episode because Carl Marx Haynes refused to put him in the reboot, so thanks a lot, Alvinlaskan Bullworm.

9. Rosalina (Mario series)

Is anyone surprised she made it to this list somehow? Rosalina first appeared in the masterpiece of a game, Mario Galaxy. She watches the Comet Observatory and was accompanied by thousands, scratch it, millions of Lumas. They did her dirty in Mario Galaxy 2 by reducing her appearance to a cameo in the base game, and 3D World made her a straight up playable character to wash off the disrespect. She’s pretty much the only Mario princess that I adore. Pauline’s not my type, I despise the hell outta Peach, and Daisy is too sassy for my liking. Why she is at number 9 is that I don’t like her as much as I used to. Don’t get me wrong, I still liked her, I just don’t like her as much. Still a decent Mario character though.

8. King K. Rool (DK series)

Another case of Basilisx, he’s basically if Goofy from Disney tried to be Bowser. He’s many things. A boxer, a king, a scientist, hell even a pirate captain. His goal varies throughout his appearances. In the first DKC game, he wants to hoard all the Kongs’ bananas. In the 2nd and 3rd, he plotted revenge against the Kongs. In 64 is where he’s most serious, cause he wants to BLOW UP DK ISLAND with his Blast-O-Matic. he’s a wacky one, but that’s what we all adore from him. The reason he’s this low is that he’s another case of Basilisx. He’s underused as hell, he and the Kongs haven’t batted eyes in years. And truth to be told, I really wish he’d stick around. The villains we got in the recent DKC games are just generic as hell. Tiki Tong is Knucklotec but before Odyssey happened, and of course the Walrus is the main villain of Tropical Freeze. How anti climactic.

7. Blaze (Sonic series)

While I stated before that my faith on Sonic sinks as deep as the Mariana Trench, she’s one of the better Sonic characters. She’s the anti Sonic where while Sonic is social, caring and all about action, Blaze is an introvert, has no friends, and plans ahead. Kinda like everyone in 2020 when you put it in perspective. She has incredible fire powers and is the guardian of the Sol Emeralds, the Sol Dimension’s Chaos Emeralds, which looked like the Royal Rubies/Savvy Sapphires/Equable Emeralds from Dragon Quest. At first, she was hostile towards everyone except Cream, but in the end of Sonic Rush, she had character development and grew fond of everyone. She’s one of the best Sonic characters, and Sega did her dirty by pulling a Basilisx. Seriously, Generations was her last appearance, not counting spinoffs.

6. Metal Sonic (Sonic series)

In the Sonic series, Metal Sonic was the chad to Sonic’s virgin. He was first introduced in Sonic CD, as Sonic’s faker, who strived to be better than Sonic. And can I just say that Metal Sonic is 99.9% better than regular Sonic, despite Sonic kicking his ass multiple times? Safe to say that the scrap brain has acheived his life’s purpose (hohoho-) . He has speed that outmatches Sonic, can overheat his circuitry to catch up with Sonic when he’s far behind, but the biggest highlight was when he turned to flying metal godzilla. And his theme songs never cease to disappoint. Stardust Speedway is a banger and What I’m Made Of. Dear god, WHAT. I’M. MADE. OF. If you never smiled hearing this, don’t even speak a single word, cause you’re an alien and I’m calling the FBI. The only problem with him is he’s another Blaze/Basilisx. His last official appearance was in Generations, not counting Forces cause he was a hallucination at the time, and Mania was made by Whitehead and not Sega so it doesn’t count. The only reason he’s higher than Blaze is because I prefer him over her.

5. Vivian (TTYD)

In this tumblr, I normally trash talk TTYD, but now, let’s talk a positive from the game. Someone get me the bucket, cause after this section, I’m gonna barf. Anyways, Vivian from TTYD is by far the most developed out of the TTYD roster. We get glimpses of her being abused by Beldam and eventually in Chapter 4, she has a change of heart and joins your party, practically defying her purpose in life. She also has a wide array of useful attacks. Shadow Fist being her neutral special, Veil which is basically Bow’s Outta Sight, Fiery Jinx which inflicts Burn, and Infatuate which confuses enemies with a kiss (might as well call this The Thousand Kisses Door). The reason she’s this low is cause she’s not exactly my favorite female character in paper Mario, she’s rather the 2nd best.

4. Koopalings (Mario series)

Maybe I watched too much Bowser’s Koopalings for this one, but shut up, this is my list.

3. Bowser Jr (Mario series)

Bowser’s spoiled son here takes the 3rd place for multiple reasons. One, look at him. He’s adorable. How could you hate him you soulless pricks. Two, he’s smart as hell. I mean it’s evident since his debut, he literally framed Mario and got away with it. And mind you, framing someone for a felony is not easy. Takes years of planning, lawyers, hiding of evidence, and did I mention lawyers? And it doesn’t stop there. Unlike Bowser who normally uses brute force, Jr here uses all sorts of tech to keep Mario at bay. Megahammer, Mecha Jr, Boomsday Machine, you get the idea. Third, his father son relationship with Bowser is adorable as hell, seriously, HOW DO YOU HATE THIS GUY.

2. Olivia/Bobby (Origami King)

It was hard ranking these two individually but then I decided to put them both in the same tier. First up, my favorite Paper Mario character, Olivia. She’s basically a precious sunshine baby and if you dare lay a single scratch on her, I WILL BE FORCED TO TRAVEL THE WORLD AND BACK TO FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO, THEY HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER COFFIN FOR YOUR FUNERAL. Yeah, her hints usually don’t help and I can see why there are people who hate her, but that’s what kids do, and I don’t even wanna see how an Olivia hater parents his kids. I just assume they donate them to an orphanage or something. I was kinda sad to see her go honestly, she was the only one travel companion out of the modern trilogy that I feel actually matters. And now, we have Bobby. He’s basically a Bob Omb who was a passenger of the Princess Peach (the narcissism, I know) until Olly took over and he eventually lost his fuse and memory. He doesn’t do much in battle, but his story arc is his spotlight. Eventually, he got his memories and the fuse he kept as a memory for his fallen bestie, which means it’s time to say goodbye. I know some TTYD fanbitch is gonna question his death because “aLl bOb oMbS sUrvIvE aN explOsiOn” but listen. Bobby isn’t a special case like say, Bombette or Bobbery. He’s just a regular factory made Bob Omb, which means he’s gonna die should he explode. And not gonna lie, that was one of the saddest videogame moments I experienced in my life. I almost cried, true story, and it takes a lot to make me cry. Olivia’s despair doesn’t help either. He was a valiant hero, a chad, and most importantly, he was a FRIEND. The reason they’re not on the top is because there’s one surpassing the two of them, and all who know me know who he freaking is.

1. Bowser (Mario series)

I mean, c’mon, who else would it be? He’s basically the supreme chad to Mario’s virgin. He’s one of gaming’s most iconic villains and he deserves that fucking role. He’s incredibly badass, like look at Giga Bowser and Fury Bowser and tell me he’s not the icon of awesome. If he’s not, don’t speak to me. Hell, even Pyrrhon from Kid Icarus Uprising acknowledges his badassery, if you’ve seen Hades’ Misguidance Season 2. He’s also crazy powerful, being able to conquer entire galaxies and punch out castles, TWICE. He even punched an entity of darkness to oblivion once. And did I mention he’s an incredible parent? He’s one of the most complex Mario characters, and that’s why we love him, is it not? For me, this is rather the case of rooting the villain more than the hero. And if I get judged for it, then so be it. I wish one day for a standalone Bowser game (Inside Story does not count) where Bowser beats the shit outta Mario. I salute you, King Koopa, you don’t need a crown to be my ruler, my throne’s already yours.

#mario #sonic the hedgehog #donkey kong #paper mario #olivia paper mario #bobby paper mario #paper mario ttyd #vivian #koopalings #bowser #bowser jr #smbz #king k rool #basilisx #blaze #bowser's koopalings #metal sonic

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keyofjetwolf · 4 years

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GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim.

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits. How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice? Big Bang Theory. Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik. We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;)

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor. Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion.

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief.

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit.

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer.

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns. It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed.

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks. You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details. How does it end? Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now?

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)