#do NOT interact this is a vent for a reason cause I am a fucking boiling Kettle and I need to let out this PENT STEAM
Text
I’m feeling so fucking seen by a stupid fanfic that’s it’s making me feel worse about myself than I already do. anyway I’m gonna go drive my car off a cliff.
#too bad we don’t really have those around here#at least within a reasonable distance#and now for the real text post because who the hell uses the body of the post to vent?#the tags are where it’s at#you can stretch this baby for miles and miles with all your bullshit#and it’ll all be wrapped up nicely and the majority of the time people don’t read it!#so its free real estate babey!!!!!#anyway#why am I such a needy bitchy like for real#like christ I get it I’m way too much it doesn’t have to be rubbed in my face by literally everyone I interact with#god im pathetic#makes me wanna do that thing again but I CANT cause I promised I wouldn’t but it’s getting so hard#and I fucking hate it#hhhggggggggg I just wanna scream and stomp my feet and throw a tantrum like a god damn child but I CANT#im like grinding my teeth right now#my jaws gonna be sore in the morning I can just feel it#im just saying the same shit over and over again but just rearranging the words#way to be creative idiot#welp time to fucking kill myself I guess#I am#so sad
0 notes
Text
Random Astro observations
-Aquarius suns without an Aquarius Mercury confuse me the most bruh. I think to a certain degree it has something to do with myself having my sun and Mercury in Aries so I don’t quite get people who don’t have their sun and Mercury in the same sign. Honestly it made me wonder about people who have an Aquarius placement even just one. I’m cool with them most times but if they have an Aquarius moon I tend to feel a disconnect emotionally. That will bring me to my next point.
-People who have a different element and modality to your moon sign will feel so disconnected most times. For me it would be anybody who has their moon in a sign like Aquarius or Scorpio. As a Virgo moon I have always found certain moon signs almost impossible to feel a connection like I have with certain signs like Taurus and Sagittarius. Like this is how the order goes for me (from intense and almost instant connection to damn do I even know when you are in the same room as me.) Sagittarius, Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Pisces, Gemini (really a hit or miss bro), Libra (mostly cause I can’t resist a Libra placement), Scorpio, Aries, Cancer, Leo, Aquarius. Now even then I am not entirely sure about this order of the signs. Tbh the only reason I put Scorpio before Aries is because of how many artist I listen to that have a Scorpio moon. Now I have met a good amount of Aries moons that I don’t feel that insane connection not even when their moon has a conjunction with any of my Aries placements. The only Aries moon that I can think of (at least right now) that I have felt an insane connection with is my grandma. Now my grandma is a Virgo sun with a Mercury in Libra, Venus in leo, and her mars is in Scorpio. So I feel like it influences me a bit more than some other placements would. Like I’m sorry leos but you guys do not influence me as much as I thought you guys did. I am pretty sure my grandma having both a Libra placement and a Scorpio placement is the main reason I connect with her so intensely. I love Leo placements but it’s just not the same vibes. ✨Anyways moving on✨
-Cancer suns with a sag moon (in my opinion) are so fucking nice to be around bruh. Are they the most emotional people? No, but that doesn’t make them assholes oddly enough unlike some sag placements I have seen…(sag Mercury I love the energy I really do but some of you either can’t read the room or have decided to close your eyes idk bruh). Sag moons are by far one of my favorite placements ever. I swear some have had the worst fucking childhood and yet don’t become a bitch like I am. Or as passive/people pleasing as the rest of the mutable signs (Virgo, Pisces, and Gemini) and yes I am included in that because I am very bad at confrontation and people interaction as a whole. People say they like me but I can’t understand their reasonings. If you think me listening to you vent makes me a great person I’m going to need you to raise your standards…
-Any negative aspect from the moon to one of your big six is a horrible placement to live with for us emotional babies. I speak as a person who has their moon forming an opposition with my Mercury and Venus while it forms a square aspect with my mars. Like I’m sorry I am not used to people comforting me when I’m sad. Idk how people can do it so easily. It is easier for me to just cry by myself than in front of others. It’s a work in progress for me.
-Honestly im glad I don’t have any negative aspects to Pluto tho…I don’t think I’d be able to handle a negative aspect. I have a couple positive aspects from my sun and ascendant to my Pluto and that shit is odd sometimes. I would love to hear some random shit that has happened to you guys with the negative aspects to Pluto. I feel like you guys have some interesting stories idk tho.
Anyways enough for me. Let me know anything you guys would want for me to talk about next or even just tell me some random shit.
#astrology#astrology observations#astro#astro observations#astro posts#mars-moon#moon aspects#sagittarius#aries#capricorn#scorpio#random#random astro#pluto aspects#Pluto square#mercury conjunct pluto
278 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just wanna make a post because I’ve gotten tons of worried asks about my absence and wishing I’m okay and everything (and I will answer them I promise, I do really appreciate y’all checking in on me). but this is going to be a LONG post so if you’re actually gonna read it, strap in babes.
anyways, my life has virtually become a dystopian hell and I’m not kidding you. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I feel like I’m under house arrest because I’m just not allowed to do fucking anything anymore. I pretty much cannot leave my house, not even to get groceries. I cannot ask my roommate to pick up anything for me on her way home from work because she bitches about it and makes some excuse not to even if it’s something I desperately need. I haven’t had a single human interaction with ANYONE even my former best friend/roommate since the end of January until this week when I just fucking lost it and vented to my aunt and had her get me a dispensary order because I can’t leave my house to get one myself anymore and she came to hang out and spend some time with me and talk about everything for a couple hours. and that’s the bare bones of what’s going on. there’s so much fucking more piled to it but I’ll just give you the gist of it. I literally told my therapist that if I didn’t get the fuck out of here soon, I will probably slit my wrists and bleed out in the bathtub. like if I cannot run away and escape all this shit, I will be leaving this house in a body bag because I honestly just do not know how much more of this shit I can take.
I have been so unbelievably stressed. I have picked every tiny cut, scratch, ingrown hair, pimple, everything that could be picked open, into huge gaping wounds all over my legs and specifically, I had two tiny cat scratches on my stomach from one of my cats kneading on me and not being too gentle with her claws, and i picked those TINY cuts into gaping wounds bigger than the size of dollar coins. two of them. right next to each other. they were so bad that I thought they were legitimately going to get infected and cause me problems. but they’re finally healing and starting to scar because I HAD to bandage them. like if I did not bandage them and change the bandage twice a day, they would have become infected and been a huge problem. that’s how bad those two specifically were.
not only this, but I have also PICKED A FUCKING BALD SPOT ON MY SCALP near my widow’s peak, but thankfully it’s on the side my hair flops over from so it’s covered. but it’s still there and it makes me horribly insecure and I don’t know if it’s like a scab that’ll eventually fall off and something will grow back from it or if it’s a scar and I’ll have this bald spot forever to be insecure of and self conscious of all the time. literally only time will give me the answer to that. but I am fucking 26 years old and have picked myself to PIECES and BALD SPOTS due to stress. I am literally falling the fuck apart.
and not only that, but I was just informed that I need to be conscious and aware of the fact that I may have fucking lupus because two of my dad’s sisters have it (one confirmed diagnosis and the other a suspicion but that’s enough of a reason for me to be worried about it) and I’m too terrified to get tested or whatever to start the process of getting that diagnosis. like the one thing I’ve always been so fucking afraid of is having an autoimmune disease and my fear of that may have fucking manifested one fucking for me and I’m really struggling with the potential that I may have to deal with that, along with my other health issues and mental health issues and shit.
I just. I have been going through a REALLY rough fucking time. and I am sorry, I am so sorry for the lack of posts or explanations or not answering anyone’s asks or messages aside from the two people I talk to daily because I just mentally cannot handle conversations through all this shit, and for making anyone genuinely concerned about me because of my absence and shit. I wish I could say you shouldn’t worry, but honestly, I’m incredibly worried about myself and that reason alone should scare anyone that knows me because I’m NEVER worried about myself. I’m sorry. I wish I could say I’m okay and I’m thriving and my lack of presence on here was a GOOD thing because I’m doing well and not thinking about social media, but it’s not. it’s a very bad thing. I don’t leave my bed every day unless it’s to take care of my cats. I can’t remember the last day I actually ate a meal or even a snack. the only hydration I get is like the 3 sips of whatever I use to take my meds every morning and night. I have no drive to create content so my income has dropped SO dramatically that I am barely scraping by to pay my bills. I haven’t gamed. I haven’t caught up on any of the shows I was excited for and watching before all this. I haven’t done laundry in god only knows how long and I’m literally running out of clean clothes to wear. I literally only brush my hair before I get on FaceTime with a friend or my boyfriend, otherwise it’s a knotted mess. I’ve showered to clean my body because I feel disgusting being dirty but I have not washed my hair since I had these extensions installed. I do not have the energy to wash this much fucking hair right now. and do you know when these were installed? February 12th. I have not washed my fucking hair in over a month and I feel so fucking repulsive because of it. my hair is my pride and joy. I have such expensive quality products for it. I take care of it. I love my hair. and I cannot even find the energy to wash it when I’m already in the shower just to wash my body/face because I just am so depressed that I can’t even find the energy to do it WHILE ALREADY IN THE SHOWER. I usually go 7-10 days without washing my hair to prolong the life of my extensions and my hair dye and shit because my hair doesn’t get greasy quickly or dry so I can push it that long and just do like body wash/skincare showers in between. but it’s been over a month. over a FUCKING MONTH. since I’ve been able to find the energy to just wash my fucking hair even when I’m already in the shower. do you know how pathetic that feels?
I’m sorry this was such a heavy post. for anyone that actually read through it, I’m sorry. I’ve been internalizing a lot of this shit and this isn’t even the icing on the fucking cake. this is the bare minimum of what I’m dealing with. it’s so much more convoluted and fucked up and abusive than I’m explaining on here and I’m sorry for venting about the things that I did. but I’ll leave it there. I won’t get into the rest.
if you read this far, I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time with this long of a post just to get shit off my chest. I hope you’re having a really good day, or that your day gets better, your weekend goes well, and that you have some good karma headed your way. I wish you all the best. thank you for listening. I appreciate it. 🖤
#it’s really hard for me to make this post and admit that I am struggling so fucking bad so please be kind and considerate about all this#because if someone makes a rude remark or sends a rude ask about it I’m blocking and deleting it#I’m not even going to entertain someone trying to make me feel worse than I already feel#because I didn’t even KNOW I could feel this bad in my fucking life#so please just be kind and comfort me or just don’t say anything. please. for my sake.
119 notes
·
View notes
Note
Phil and bagi hcs?
YOU HAVE JUST ENABLED A MONSTER.
I AM SO ABNORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO.
Also these will apply to AMFMN!! Because SURPRISE, if no one has checked the fic tags, her name is listed as a main character. ;) She'll be arriving in Chapter 6!! :D
I cannot fucking WAIT to expand upon their dynamic, which is funny because by the time Bagi shows up, Phil is possessed so it won't be exploration through direct interactions until the recovery period waaay later in the fic. Nonetheless it'll be hype! :D
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Phil is a member of the "Bagi can do whatever she wants forever" club. He supports her rights and wrongs and fully believes she could kick his ass no matter how unbalanced of a fight it'd be in his favor (disclaimer I don't actually know Bagi's exact pvp skill level 🤔)
Bagi is a member of the "God I want Phil to take me on a flight some day, I am so sad his wings are fucked up" club. (She would probably be terrified /pos)
I don't know what it is about their friendship but I feel like Bagi is so much more attuned to the way Phil thinks than the average islander. I guess I'd say it's because of how perceptive she is in general, especially with how she's a detective? Whatever it is, Bagi just has this talent for reading Phil like a damn book. And she won't hesitate to call him on his bullshit either. She's much like Fit in that regard. Crow man can't hide SHIT
Like fr if Phil ever gave Bagi reason to be concerned the first thing she'd do is start cornering those closest to him and either ask what's up or be like "hey Phil's on some shit rn, we gotta go force him to confess whatever stupid shit he's shouldering on his own and bottling up"
Phil has definitely been whacked with the frying pan for not venting and acting like he has to brave the horrors alone btw. Bagi's the type of friend that'll kick your fucking ass if you're not self-caring or being mean to yourself. (I am projecting LMAO)
Bagi isn't as Holy Shit We Could Die Any Second about things as Phil, but they're both very protective people, which can manifest in very volatile ways when they're hurt or angered by something (ie: Feds). I would not want to experience their individual wraths simultaneously.
Bagi is one of the top people Phil shows his gift giving love language to. Be it resources she needs, pictures he's taken of her/Em/Tina or of weird island shit, the means to complete cookie tasks, etc. She's one of the first in mind.
GOD Phil wants her to teach him how to wield a frying pan so badly. He's an excellent swordsman and bowman, but PAN?? The enjoyment he'd get out of it would be infinite, he'd love to be kicking ass while getting a laugh out of it bc pan go BONG when it hits a motherfucker.
If one needs something the other says yes no hesitation. They might ask each other a couple questions, but as soon as they have 100% clarity, they trust each other with the rest and know that if something goes wrong, whoever is present at the time will unleash hell on the person or monster that caused it.
I've somewhat already hinted at it but GOD the mutual admiration they have for each other!! Their wits and way with words, their natural sense of leadership, their determination to defend what they believe in, what they think is right, and the people they love, their specific expertise, the list goes on. They just think the other is so fucking cool and brilliant.
Tbh I think in the right circumstances they'd teach each other some lowkey fucked up tricks they have up their sleeves. Like Bagi giving Phil insight on manipulating people into giving the answers you're looking for by asking the right carefully worded questions, or Phil teaching Bagi the best spots to hit/hurt a person/mob to really do some damage just purely as a "hey if you ever find yourself in a Situation, here's a tip" thing
I don't know how better to show this without explicitly saying it: These two are not the other's fucking caretaker. Phil is not Bagi's father figure and Bagi is not Phil's mother figure. Yes, they can scold each other when the other is doing something dumb (cough, 7 hcs ago, cough). Friends do that. They support each other and call each other on their bs. That is not parenting, that's being a good friend. And they are to each other.
On that note, it hasn't come up too much yet but when shit sucks (like when the eggs were lost or lost lives), they're good at distracting each other. But like without halting the process of dealing with their emotions. If they're sad, they'll be sad together, but they're good at picking the right conversation topics to lighten the mood. If they're mad, they'll be mad together, and they'll plan what to do about it with each other.
I think I've sorta demonstrated it well enough in a couple of these hcs already but AUGH, they're just. So on the same page with each other almost all the time. And when they aren't, they're so good at giving each other perspectives they didn't think of before. Which, I don't mean to compare Bagi to her brother here, but is also how Phil and Cellbit can be with each other too; though they've somewhat fallen out of that sync post-Purgatory. The way the Mystery Siblings are so on the same wavelength as Phil makes me so *slams fist on desk*
Phil is normally a very Just Vibin' kinda guy but Bagi can get him into some really deep intellectual conversations sometimes and it's so 🍿🍿🍿 to watch
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just a little bit of housekeeping. Bear with me.
You may call me Jackal. I'm an adult and literally do not give a hoot about what pronouns you use for me. I do not claim to be a good person. If I was a good person, this account would not exist. I am a civil and polite person, though, and I expect you all to be the same. I am a mechatronics major who previously was pursuing a degree and career in psychology, before determining that I didn't like dealing with people's self-issues and switching majors to mechatronics, though I do try to continue with psych courses as I do find knowledge of human psychology to be key when programming. From the ages of 14-18, I worked in childcare at a highly acclaimed summercamp, along with smaller day camps and after-school activities. From the ages of 10 to 18, I took a variety of classes focused on childcare. This has led me to realize that I absolutely hate children. So, believe me, I will not hurt your child and they will receive the best care that I can give with my training if I have them for whatever reason, however, I do not want kids anywhere around me period, much less do I have any desire to touch, let alone fuck them.
I do not write nor read most lolicon, incest, or bestiality content. I do not support pedophilia, incest, rape, or bestiality in real life. I do read lolicon of adult women with more youthful bodies, because that content helps me grow confidence in my own body, as I'm constantly mistaken to be a child despite being above the age of 18. I do hope all child-touchers, animal-fuckers, rapists, racists, and anybody else who harms a living thing out of ill will rots in jail. To reiterate, this account is strictly ANTI-CONTACT. You can't control paraphilias but you can control the harm they cause.
I do support the protection of all things fictional, because if we make the things a few people find morally wrong to be illegal, we've then already lost when the folks on top go after fiction supporting LGBT, non-christian religions, etc.
I also support the protection of vent pieces, even if that vent centers around things like pedophilia, rape, etc. I am proud of you for taking yet another step towards healing from abuse you suffered in the past and/or from the harmful paraphilias that you struggle with currently.
This account is built on the notion that any interaction will be productive and good-natured regardless of the involved parties. You are free to give your stance on why proship is bad...so long as you accept the fact that people are then welcome to debate back on why proship isn't bad. Any debates that turn hairy will be ended, however, healthy debate and challenging your beliefs is a wonderful way to continuously educate yourself.
Despite my account, I do not intend on forcing an belief on you. In fact, I greatly support that you look at both anti-proship and proship content, and make the effort to educate yourself as well as possible and determine what belief you truly belong to. There is no good in trapping yourself in an echo chamber.
You are free to submit any points as asks or submissions. So long as they are productive and good-natured, I will post them, regardless of what side they take. If they are not productive or good-natured, they will either be deleted, or I will post them to both clown on you for being an asshole and educate you the best I can on why anti-proship is a rather harmful belief system.
Feel free to draw my attention to any posts I haven't reblogged yet that would fit in to this blog. I'll look them over and reblog them.
Most posts will be reblogs, asks, and submissions. However, I may occasionally post my own thoughts. These will often be tagged with #jackal barks, but sometimes I will forget. Any hate comments will be simply tagged as #hatemail.
I have an alternate account called @proshitters-against-constipation . I use that blog to reblog content from antis and shower it in compliments. Look, it's funny watching them sob because a 'nasty, nasty person' gave them a genuine, heartfelt compliment.
Please just block this blog if uncomfortable with the content. It's very glitchy on my phone, so most of the time, tags are incredibly minimal. I will not hold anything against you for blocking the blog. The whole point is that you are the one responsible for curating your online existence. If you dislike incest ships, block em. Dislike noncon content, block it. Dislike the contents of this blog, block me. You control what you see, just as others control what they see. Curate your feed, don't curate others.
Thank you all for reading this, and remember, if you let them destroy the fiction you find morally despicable, then when they come for what you enjoy and support, you've already lost.
----------
Ask/submission tagging system!
#pro stance - proshipper asks
#anti stance - antishipper asks
#no stance - asks of indeterminate standing
#birthday wishes - B O R T H
----------
If you actually scrolled down this far, have a fun, exciting, and inconclusive list of beings I would be down to smash:
•Stain (MHA)
•Overhaul (MHA)
•EVA-01 (NGE)
•EVA-02 (NGE)
•Xue Yang (MDZS)
•Kurloz Makara (Homestuck)
•Mothman
•Bigfoot
•u1146 (Cells At Work)
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dave and Jack are gay and there is proof
So the fandom liked my post on the wedding dress thing so I’ve decided to make yet another DSAF text post on DSAF headcanons with rationals behind them. This time on a much bigger one with far more evidence actually, that is all but (and might actually be) confirmed.
This headcanon of course I am speaking of is Dave and Jack being gay. This is the most popular headcanon in the fandom, and for good reason. I have yet to hear any opposing opinions actually, the fandom is again unanimous. I’m going to make this post anyway for new fans and the like.
CAUTION FOR SPOILERS FOR THE DSAF 3 ENDINGS
Just about anyone who has played, watched, or engaged in any way with DSAF has likely noticed that Dave (a character who can either be your best friend or your nemesis depending on your route) and the protagonist of the game, Jack, occasionally have interactions with decidedly fruity undertones.
Although I have not seen as much evidence that JACK is gay, given that his personality varies greatly depending on how he’s played in most games, although his being gay can quickly at least be surmised from his final speech to Dave in the true ending of the third game, although not directly stating anything specific about their relationship, does have Jack imply subtly that there is something there.
If you count things the player can make Jack say specifically rather than just things he says on his own, then Jack being gay is a resounding yes, as lines of dialogue like “thanks bae”, *blush and nod*, and more are very much in the games.
Furthermore, Jack compares if not straight up calls Davetrap his ex during the good ending of DSAF 3 with Roger. Dave and Jack also slept in the same bed while in Vegas.
As for Dave being gay, there is a lot more there. Like infinity more than I think I could ever cover, but I’ll try.
Dave very frequently calls Jack pet names, in fact, I think I can count on one hand how many times he’s actually called Jack by his actual name. He also seems to blatantly flirt with him ingame.
Dave confesses to having seen Jack’s bedroom before, and in the third game further is revealed to have set up cameras in Jack’s house, connected his vents to his house to “protect” Jack, and have had frequently used his shower and toothbrush. Not exactly healthy behaviour or signs of a healthy relationship, but DSAF is DSAF, there is an ending in the third game where you burn down your restaurant because of furries.
Davetrap, although a manipulative character, and not a very good person, is one of the bigger causes for Dave being clearly gay. Davetrap, having less restraint than his Flipside counterpart and being more disturbingly obsessive, has done a number of things to confirm the ship.
First of all, Davetrap waited 30 years for Jack, and fixed Henry’s old suit in order to try to springlock him so they can be together forever, and that’s just not a thing you do with a friend. Even if it’s toxic and fucked, we’re trying to prove he’s gay, not that he’s a good person, honestly, Flipside Dave himself after his whole redemption arc is Chaotic Good at best, Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Evil at worst, although I believe more Chaotic Neutral.
If you side with Davetrap, things get gayer from here. If you chose to hire the female nightgaurd, Davetrap berates you, not due to sexism, rather because she has an extra hole to fill with animatronic parts, going on to talk about how his own asshole is a cavern due to previously mentioned animatronic parts. The interaction ends of course with Dave implying that he wants Jack to “find something” to fill the hole. Well ok then.
Finally getting to the part I’m sure most of you have been waiting for, Davetrap’s confession, the reason I said this might be fully canon. During the bad ending of the third game Davetrap takes you down to the Fazbunker, trying to cheer himself up as he feels something is wrong. In the final room he figures out what it is, and apologizes for springlocking Jack, showing genuine care for his well-being. Jack, manipulated by Henry, then scares the shit out of Davetrap, and rips off his head. However, just before his death, Davetrap says “Don’t do this, I love you”. The reason this doesn’t fully prove it in my mind is that it could have been said out of desperation and that only Davetrap says this, Flipside Dave never says anything of this manner specifically. However I do not believe that Davetrap was lying here, as the lines previously in which he expresses guilt towards his actions and his affects on Jack prove that he does indeed care a lot for him, and while he might have been desperate, all evidence proves that he was not lying. I just can’t accept this as full undeniable evidence as, again, we never get anything like this from Flipside Dave.
That’s not to say Flipside Dave is not in love with Jack however. To the contrary, he most definitely is. Case and point. The pizza flirt.
When interacting with the pizza thingy I don’t care to learn the name of, Dave asks Jack how he likes his pizza, then proceeds to ask him if he’d ever be willing to have eggplant on his pizza. This, in context, is a very clear case of Dave very non-subtly flirting with Jack.
To go to the ending of the good route, upon finding out Jack cannot move on due to not having a soul, Dave freaks out, says he can’t go on without Jack, and says he would rather stay in the void with Jack. Jack only gets him to leave giving him Blackjack, the embodiment of his own soul which cannot join back with his body, telling him Blackjack will not leave him.
For misc evidence, during the evil route of the second game Dave changes his plan to include torturing Peter when Jack gets fired because it bothered him, referring to Jack as his “orange baby”, and insinuating that he cares more about Jack’s pain than his own.
There is an ending in which Dave says “Old Sport you will be mine” while attempting to shoot up Freddy’s.
Although Flipside Dave unlike Davetrap never actually says that he loves Jack, he does call him the “tangerine to my aubergine”, which in my opinion is pretty close.
During the neutral ending of the third game, Jack yells at Davetrap, saying how he only opened his Freddy’s location for money, specifically saying “do you think any of this was because I loved Freddy’s? Or loved YOU?”. Davetrap then responds by opening up his mask (if I recall the only time he does this), crying and saying he’s going to go cry in a dumpster, alone.
On one of Dave’s tapes he goes crazy and vows to find Jack.
In Dave’s diary he says he’s “really wild about Jack”, and writes his nickname a lot. I also heard something about having files of pictures of Jack in a maid dress, and Jack having pictures of Dave in a maid dress, although I don’t know if this is true or not.
Finally, what all of you have been waiting for. Doggo has confirmed that both Dave and Jack are pan or bi, Jack having a preference for men. Doggo has also stated that he himself ships these two, although it was intentionally made ambiguous.
So to close off my argument, here are the results. In all endings of DSAF 3, as well as all prior games, Dave is in love with Jack, Jack himself varies, seemingly only being gay during the third good ending and some routes in the previous games, although in the neutral route and the bad route of the third game he decided does not like Dave at all.
#dsaf jack#dsaf dave#dsaf old sport#dsaf#dsaf 3#jack kennedy#dave miller#davesport#dayshift at freddy's#dave x jack#gay#DSAF rationals#Because I guess this is just a thing I do now
211 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! we’re from @kipandkandicore and we’re hoping to make a public google doc listing posts and other testimonies by asian, buddhist, and/or tibetan individuals that explain how tulpamancy language is racist/cultural appropriation.
would it be alright if we used your post in our document? this one in particular:
https://www.tumblr.com/system-of-a-feather/721593982920065024/for-the-record-the-reason-we-are-staunchly
although if you have any other posts discussing the problems with tulpamancy terminology we’d be happy to include them as well!
thank you very much!
Yeah I don't mind, I would also probably say this post best describes my more general and not-trigger driven thoughts on it as well and this is a more raw hurt-charged vent about it. Both are true and both I stand with, but they are the two sides of the topic.
You can also throw this post too because I'll do a VERY basic TLDR main points of my thoughts on the matter here as well that ties the two very long posts about it down since we are a little more nuanced than we state as just "anti-tulpa" cause Syscourse and nuance is like mixing water and oil.
Priority Points:
White people do not have the right to speak over AAPI on AAPI topics - if they wish to say they are listening to "actual tibetian buddhists" they need to listen to more than just one person on a single reddit and they need to not use said one person as a token pass
"Western Tulpamancy" is heavily based in a sensationalization of Eastern Cultures and beliefs and inherently has a shit ton of Eastern Mysticism baked into its very foundations
"Western Tulpamancers" frequently cite it's "history being based in Tibetian Buddhists practices" like its an ornament
People defending the usage of the term just chronically present heavy disregard for the voices of people's lived experiences on how their rhetoric specifically in the discourse is regularly used against AAPI
It has literally nothing to do with the original idea that is underlying Buddhism and it's honestly a huge bastardification of it
Buddhist individuals - especially when branched upon the different variants of Buddhism, but even within the Tibetian Buddhist crowd - will have differing opinions on this topic and you can't base your entire argument off of cherry picking a single person who agrees; that said, Buddhists that are okay with it are completely fair and valid with their opinion on that and they should be given space; but again, one person saying OK doesn't mean its not doing harm to another
I'll stop dancing around it @/sophieinwonderland and their loyal fan afaik (which is not much cause I only look at their profile rarely when someone links me their bad tulpa takes) @/cambriancrew just straight up do not care about AAPI and white knight about people of Tibet while calling all Chinese people CCP and shit which is just really fucked up and racist in its own; I do think there would be more room for discussion on this term if they just shut the fuck up and/or admitted their intentional or at least internalized racism
Important Nuance but Less Priority Points - Summary take home points of the two long posts:
The problem with the term "Tulpa" and those that can use it is not inherently a racial issue. Buddhism is a very open practice and anyone can partake in it - that being said I can't speak on Tibetian Buddhism as I have heard some people say it is closed and I am not in that practice enough to say. But again, Buddhism generally isn't a "born into it" or "you have to be of this group" philosophy / spirituality and so people who talk about "white people" in terms of Tulpa-discourse are technically wrong if the SOLE topic here is about tulpas and Buddhism. There are many white buddhists and people who were raised deeply in buddhist culture (tibetian, zen, or any other form) and I am of the opinion that those white buddhists who GENUINELY interact with the Buddhist culture can have a valid opinion towards this topic as they are likely approaching the topic with a much more genuine-non-sensationalized view. Because again, Buddhists that are okay with it, I respect and support their opinion and their right to voice said opinion - I simply do not agree with it and stand by my stance as well. Tulpa-discourse is a discourse that - in my opinion - should be left within the Buddhist community, not the system / plural / syscourse community.
While it is wrong to say "white people" in topics SPECIFICALLY about Tulpa and Buddhism, it is not wrong at all to bring it up in terms of racism, cultural appropriation, orientalism, Asian mysticism, and AAPI-hate which are all things inherent in the discussion of the history and foundations of "Western Tulpas". There are two different main points to be discussed in "anti-tulpa" discourse and while they are connected, one is about the spirituality specifically and the other is about the overarching ways white and western people interact with asian and eastern cultures.
Because of this being a two prong discourse and topic, you will get massively different energies from me and willingness to talk to opposing views depending on if you are asking my opinion as an asian individual or as a Buddhist.
As an Asian, I HATE it and its overall just a disgusting a peak manifestation of how white people sensationalize, mysticize, and turn Asian culture into an aesthetic, ornament, and *magical* thing to power psuedo-intellectualism, enlightmenet, and "culture".
As a Buddhist, I dislike it as it is a bastardization and a disrespectful interpretation of a concept; that said I don't have as heavy of a strong hate as - as a Buddhist myself - it is a "small issue" and not something worth the energy and negativity that it takes to commentate on it; that said we have mixed and complicated feelings on "letting it go" because to do so would be to enable a long standing history of westerner's treating eastern cultures as an aesthetic and ornament which in my perspective is a source of great suffering and hurt to many people and on a moralistic level, while it would be better for me to let it go, I also think it would be wrong to ignore it and leave it for the next person. Regardless, our main take on this as a Buddhist is that we dislike it - the effort of which and intensity varies from part to part.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay what the fuck
long vent post so don't read under the cut unless you're prepared, cause I'm kind of fucking pissed right now.
I reblog like, ONE post regarding Hazbin Hotel (which I deleted almost immediately cause I regretted getting involved and hate interacting with drama)
and now my dash is fucking full of Hazbin drama.
I can't go around blocking everyone that posts hazbin drama but like FUCK let me avoid the shit please? I just want to enjoy my stupid show about stupid demons doing stupid shit.
I get it, viv is a point of contention in the fanbase and the shows have all sorts of social/moral issues but FUCK
I'm the kind of person who just wants to take media as it's presented. Call me whatever you want, but I am SO much happier watching my shows than someone obsessed with finding reason to hate them is.
Life is too goddamn short to spend my time ruining my enjoyment of every goddamn thing I see by trying to find fault in the fucking creators.
Nobody is without fault.
Nobody is purely good and nothing but good.
Holding creators to a standard of moral perfection simply because they are creators is fucking stupid and actively ruins the ability to just ENJOY a creation.
I want to be happy, and now ONE reblog has made my For You the "Helluva Hazbin Drama Zone" and it's fucking frustrating. 9 posts in a row were hazbin drama. The next six were Helluva Boss drama. Couple of art posts, couple writeblr posts, then FIFTEEN POSTS IN A ROW of people bitching about vivzie.
Like what the FUCK dude? Tumblr get your shit together, one reblog sympathizing with someone for being judged over their pfp does NOT mean I want in on this horseshit debate about morality in a show ALL ABOUT CHARACTERS DEVOID OF MORALITY
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I need to vent. Strictly speaking I’ve already vented, but I want to leave that vent here. One of my favorite fic authors deleted their Ao3 account, and I decided to try and work through my feelings by writing them down. Now that I’m done with that, I don’t want to just delete everything, but I also don’t want to just leave it sitting around and gathering dust. So I’m going to post it here, under a cut. I’ve decided to make it unregbloggable and cause it’s kind of personal, but I would like if whoever reads it could drop a like, just so I know. Be nice to know if I’m not screaming into the void. I also originally typed this up at work between taking calls, so that’s likely the reason for any weirdness. And I’m rambling. Fuck everything.
Okay, last thing before the rant: The author I’m referring to has put up with some shit, which is why they’ve deleted. I went back and forth between leaving their name in or not, or tagging. I eventually decided to leave their name, but will not be tagging them. They made it sound like they won’t be on tumblr anymore, and even if they were this is mostly something I wrote for me. I’ve left a message of support for them already. I don’t want them to have to deal with anything else.
So Glimmerglanger deleted their ao3 account due to dealing with a lot of awful messages and comments. And I'm upset, and struggling to process. So I'm going to try and walk through what I'm feeling, why and what I can do.
It's all a bit of a tangled knot, so I'm going to start with my more
selfish reasons to be upset. I'm angry and sad that I won't be able to
read any of those fantastic stories again. I loved reading them,
they've become such a staple of my reading. Whenever I needed a pick me up or a break I would go back to their stories. Sometimes I would be looking for something in particular, and sometimes I would just go through their entire catalogue. Any time they had a new fic, even if it was just a drabble I would wait with baited breath. I always
enjoyed their writing, and now it seems it's all gone.
And I feel selfish, upset and disappointed with myself because of
that. Because they're their stories, they can do what they want with
their stories. And it sounds like they had excellent reasons to do
what they did. It's not fair to be upset with them for protecting
themselves. But I am angry with them. I'm frustrated and upset that I
didn't get any warning so I could download the fics. And I suppose I'm upset with myself for not downloading them sooner. Silly, since I
didn't know this was coming, but it seems better than being upset with them when they're going through a tough time.
And another reason I'm upset with myself, is how reticent I was with
leaving comments. I kept telling myself I would go back and do it, and now it seems like I wasted too many chances. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything, but at least we could have had those interactions. Glimmer was one of those authors who always responded to commenters and I loved that. (Not that not responding is a bad thing! Authors already give a lot just by posting, they're not obligated to respond.) I really enjoy having conversations with authors about their writing, and I always looked forward to 'talking' with Glimmer. I think one of
my biggest flaw is being too timid and missing opportunities. Not
leaving comments may seem like a small opportunity, but it mattered to me. And even though I tell myself that it may not have changed their final decision, I can't help but wonder if me leaving more comments (cause I think the only fics of theirs I didn't read read are the ones with a pairing I didn't like or looked too angsty. And I loved all the ones I read enough to want to leave comments, I just kept telling myself I would do it on my next re read, when things were fresh) would have made things at all better for them. If having some good comments may have contributed to making things a little easier or giving them a bit of happiness. I feel guilty. (Course, I also feel guilty about how much I'm making this about me and my feelings.)
And what really infuriates me about all of this was how avoidable it
all was. I've had fics that bugged me. I've started fics that
infuriated me. Where the authors characterization choices drove me up the wall. I've read fics that had me wondering if the author
read/watched the same thing I did. Sometimes when I think of these
fics they still frustrate me. But you know what I did? I clicked the
back button and I went to read something I would enjoy. (Ironically,
sometimes that meant going back to an old favorite, like
Glimmerglanger's works) The worst I would do is write a vent post
(that I might not even post) or reblog someone else's vent post. If
not that, I would start writing an idea for my own fic. I would never
leave a mean or cruel comment. I honestly cannot fathom people who feel like that is a constructive use of their time. It just doesn't
make sense.
Well that's most of my vent done (for now). Now to figure out what to
do. I noticed at least one person mentioned that they downloaded some of their work. I may ask around and see if anyone has their fics in a few days. Not now, it seems disrespectful so soon.
And you know what? I think I will post the comments I wrote out but
never sent. It's unlikely that Glimmer will ever see them, but just on
the off chance. And even if they don't, I don't like the idea of just
deleting them or leaving them in my notes to haunt me.
I'll also try to leave at least a few comments on any fics that do
live open on my phone. (And maybe download a few, just in case!)
Authors give a lot, they deserve what little I can give back.
I feel a bit better. A bit more settled. I'll try to do do a bit of
what I said tonight, and check back in in the morning. (5/4 pm)
I feel sick. Course, I think it's largely due to the news about
Buttons. She made it to at least 18, which I think is pretty old for a cat. But she stopped eating. And we had to make that choice. (And I realize after looking at the dates, it's barely been a year since we had to let Pixie go. And she wasn't even half Button's age. Fuck.) But talk about timing. Could really have used some comfort
right around then. But I really don't want to be upset at glimmer.
Cause none of this is their fault. They had to make the best choice
for them, same as we had to make the best choice for her. The timing
is just awful. And I'm not sure if I should continue writing this,
cause I'm starting to get choked up. And that's not really something I
can afford to do at work. But I feel like I need to get this out now.
I don't know how I'm going to get through the day. I'm not sure if
this is really about glimmer anymore. Or at least not only. I guess I
got home still feeling off after finding out, and then I got hit with
having to make that decision. And now the two things are just kind of
hopelessly tangled together. And I'm not sure how to untangle them.
I did go ahead and leave a few comments on other fics that basically live on my phone, like glimmer's did. It made me feel a little
better. Maybe I'll try to leave some more. It helps take my mind off
things, a little bit. Focusing on other fics and what I like about
them and trying to put it into words. I hope I get a reply or two. I
know that's not the reason I'm commenting, but I could use some
connection.
I also kind of want to pick up Crush again. Maybe not the best idea,
since I already feel pretty bad. But maybe it would be nice to read
the words, to feel less alone in my head, with these feelings. My
insides feel like a bruised peach. Twisted, squishy and raw. Or maybe
a tenderized bit of meat would be a better analogy. I probably
shouldn't have decided to listen to the sadness playlist. But
listening to anything happy feels disingenuous and discordant. Same
urge that led me to find those loving death comics again. Needed to
feel understood. Was a bit cathartic.
Still feeling upset. Think this one is going to linger for a while. We really lost a star. I can't blame glimmer for making the best choice for themselves. And I don't, I'm not just saying that. I just keep falling into this 'feel sorry for myself' pit. Course, as mentioned the timing was awful. I probably would have been reaching for some of glimmer's fics for comfort anyway. But it's like a bruise that I keep forgetting about and poking. I've tried not to think about it, when I'm not doing this, to try and let it settle. I tell myself, 'Don't think about this other thing,' which I figure works better than trying, 'Don't think about Glimmer having to leave.' Reverse psychology I guess. And it kind of works. But it's a loose tooth, I keep worrying at it, even though I know I shouldn't. And I keep wanting to ask around and see if other people have downloads of the fics they would be willing to share. But that just makes me ashamed of myself. It just seems selfish and disrespectful, especially so soon after they deleted. I won't lie to myself, I probably will try at some point. But I want to exert some self control, and not go hounding folks so soon after it happened.
I think I may post this after all. It may be a bad idea, and I
probably won't let it be reblogged. But I feel the need to be seen. To
be heard. (5/5 am)
I just really foolish. I keep asking myself why I didn't leave more
comments or download the fics when I had the chance if I loved them so much? Logically, in regards to the comments, I know it's because I'm a bit of a procrastinating perfectionist. I liked their fics enough that I wanted to be certain I got things right. I'd make little notes to myself, and say I'd come back later. I assumed they would always be there, which is also the reason I never downloaded them. Now I feel naive. And trying to make my peace with the fact that I may never see these fics again. I keep trying to press them all into my memory so I don't forget, though maybe it would be better if I could.
These feelings just keep sneaking up on me. And I keep feeling like
I'm making mountains out of molehills. Glimmer is the one who was really hurt by all of this. And that's another thing I keep trying to wrap my head around. I've always thought there fics were great, it's hard to
believe people would send such awful comments to them. I don't mean that I don't believe left horrible comments, I just can't understand what they would have to make comments about? Course, if people want to be nasty they don't need a reason, just an excuse. But it's still messed up. (5/6 am)
I think that's all now. This may have been a bit silly, it's not like glimmer is dead, they're just gone. But what happened to them sounded awful. They deserved better. And as I type this, I wonder if this is why I'm so hesitant about actually sitting down and writing out my ideas. Cause if I do, I'll want to post them. And I can honestly say, I'm scared of people's opinions. I have a thin skin. But that's another day's problem.
I'm also trying to avoid the main fandom I read stuff of theirs from.
It's still just a little too closely intertwined for me at the moment.
Not easy, it's one of my preferred fall backs, currently. But it is what it is.
Well, don't think I have anything else to say. At least, nothing that wouldn't be repeating myself. I think I'm less sad now. I think things will be better. I just wish it hadn't come to this, for glimmer's sake.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey, I don’t know how to start this, this isn’t the kind of thing I would usually post but I feel like if I don’t do something, no one will, I’m using a throwaway for my own safety and mental health
This is about a member of the object show community who harassed me, and others, please forgive me as I don’t remember their username clearly, but I believe it was Retroslope or something close to it.
All names will be censored but theirs will not be. (me in pink, unrelated people in white and other victim in blue)
When I was 15, and they were around 19, we were in a discord server together, I won’t name it as I don’t want all of this brought back to me, I’m scared of them.
I was on the mod team and a little strict, which caused people to hate me, Retroslope (who from now I will call TB as that’s what I knew them by) created a server outside of the one we were in originally making fun of dreamsexuals, then they created a channel specifically to bully me, it started as a joke, calling me annoying and such, but soon it turned into jokes about zoophilia, which I am not and am completely disgusted by
(Screenshots for proof of what they said)
[2 screenshots from a discord server, one saying “(censored name) resisting the urge to fuck the caged goats at the zoo” the other saying “But I fucking hate (censored name) if I could I would absolutely tell her how annoying she is” “I bet she’s gonna go to the vent channel because of this”]
[Discord screenshot of a channel named “shit on (censored name) bitch ass wanna be mother fucking cunt ass bitch boy looking ass dsmp wanna be fuck”]
I went into this server and me and my friends started yelling at them, which at first I believed myself to be in the wrong for this reaction
In this server it was also revealed that the person they had a queer platonic relationship with, and fell asleep on calls with, was 12 years old
They continuously sent Vore and other fetish art into a public server full of minors (I was In it) as a joke, a member who was around 16 years old would also make jokes about TB having their kids and TB would laugh about it (name censored for their own privacy)
[discord screenshot reading “TB YOU’RE LIKE THE HOTTEST PERSON EVER I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN /P”]
Just before this they got that same member to be their friend by saying “they have no one else” and they’ve gotten attached to them and can’t let go (remember, 16 and 19)
[a discord screenshot “saying the only reason i still interact with tb is because i feel like i have to. he has no one else because gb left him and he clings to me sometimes :/”]
Later once all their accounts were banned from the server they made another one, to DM me and “start over” and I believed them, of course this wasn’t true, as they went back to their disgusting behaviour
They made me believe I was the bad guy for shipping a male character with a lesbian coded character (Gelatin x lollipop) which I no longer ship btw
I felt horribly guilty for my overreaction
Now this I can’t talk on as much as it was told to me second hand, but there was a second person who was also harassed, (the 16 year old mentioned before) where they would make jokes like the one seen before towards eachother, and soon they got extremely attached as TB made them believe they were good friends
As for myself, TB made me believe they’d changed, so I continued contact, joining a server where they would frequently traumadump to minors
I started to get an attachment and trying my best to give them love and support, I’m unsure if this counts as grooming however
I’m sorry for the long post but I needed to say something
In summary, Retroslope:
- made zoophila jokes about me when I was 15
- made a channel specifically to bully me
- groomed people
- sent fetish art to minors as “a joke”
- had a qpr with a 12 year old who they would fall asleep on calls with (they were around 18 or 19 at the time)
- had a discord where they’d traumadump to kids
So sorry to dig up something that happened a year ago but this isn’t petty drama, this person could be a genuine danger, although I haven’t interacted with them since this event so I’m unsure if they’re even still active
I’m not asking for this to become a big situation, I don’t want any attention on me for this, and I don’t want them to be “cancelled” all I want is for what they did to be known (if anyone has proof of the second hand claims being false please let me know)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello, dear friends and accociates.
hiii. I'm tabs. I'm suuuper gay(asexual panromantic). I'm also an artist. Any scorn or prejudice will be promptly ignored.
Status:
if youve ever seen the mummys voice video.... yeah.....
About me:
I am a huge CH&T and WTNV fan. I also have a bunch of OCs, and I'm writing so many (unfinished)books... Yeah, that's right. I like to suffer and die creatively TWICE!! I can not be helped. I'm just goofy like that sometimes. I hate most non canon ships for fandoms im in, but I'll probably just go "ew" and leave you alone(depends on the ship, really). I haven't been tested for autism or ADHD but enough things line up, so I'm like 80% sure. The 20% is self-doubt. I like to dress fancy, and my general look is deep woods cottagecore that has recently drank from the lake of maximalism. You won't see pictures of me, probably, because my room is NOT clean. Sometimes, I vent on here, but that's because I am the only demographic this blog needs. I love you, too, but your feelings are only being considered a little bit.
Those Days:
I'm gonna be making a comic called Those Days about a small town old gay couple, Scott and Rodney, telling their life's story. They've been friends since their sophomore year in high school, and they've seen a lot. Scott was a punk, to say the least.
For the actual comic, you'll need to thosedayscomic, the blog I made for the comic.
^^ I'm currently working on the first issue. I do have lots of art of them though.
Tags for my comic:
those days, those days comic. also any character names first and last.
Current Fixations:
Camp Here and There (Waiting for S2)
Welcome to Night Vale (all caught up)
Words (words as in i fucking love vocabulary and old phrases and the developement of english over the years is facinating)
Night in the Woods (I've finished the game twice, also this is why I know what's wrong with me now.)
Gravity Falls (quote on the daily)
The Magnus Archives (help)
The Magnus Protocol (CAUGHT UP WHAT THE FUCK)
Additions:
I love interaction! I will always discuss my interests, and l o r e when asked. In other words, PLEASE TALK TO ME !!!
Therefore:
Art Requests/Asks: Open!!
Art Trades: Open!!
DMs: Open(as long as you arent a creep or an asshole obviously)
(cant do commissions because the world hates me but dont be shy to trade me. not particular on what i get back as long as i made someone happy. cause it feels amazing to see something i did made someone happy)
If you're an asshole or I have a good reason to, I will block you.
Here's my sick tags:
artisticmenace - anything that is a post by me
menaceartisticity - art and art related things
themenaceuseswords- text posts. i say shit sometimes.
themenacerants - my new tag for when i lose my shit
menaceencouragement - words of solace and encouragement from me
menacepoetry - poetry/songs yeah. probably sad stuff cause im miserable sometimes
menacescrawling - writing. oh buddy boy.
Thank you, I love you.
going to collect these things because why not
credits, top to bottom:
butterscotch-goat
cowboyinternist (2)
#intro and info#introductory post#artisticmenace#themenaceuseswords#menacepoetry#menacearticity#menaceencouragement#themenacerants
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Amber, I'm back to yell at you!!!! I'm literally dying over Most Noble what?! Its sooo good, i literally took a deep breath while my eyes watered cause of that ending! Oh to be in love with Sir Nanami 😍 He really is too much, the way he wants the mc so much, it gives off enemy to lovers vibes, with a lot of slow burn! Its so good the way I gasped when i read it on AO3 cause it said chapters 1/1 😭 No, its too good, YOU'RE the reason i even love Nanami so I refuse to believe thats it for them. But also thank you for that, it was such a good read the pining got me right in the feels i had to take a moment for myself to calm down. Please don't say its over 😭
Moving on lols, the way I read Balancing Act this morning! I wanted to scream, and I'm in no way a morning person but that one woke me up! Gojo being so self assured, I love that for him. The way you wrote the whole crew working for Gojo and Getou! Nanami saying that Getou is just like Gojo but would give himself 6 months instead KILLED ME!!!! Also just Nanami, and his whole work is shit rang through my head when you said he left then came back 😭 Just the way you wrote them all is soo good, the interaction between Gojo and Mc oooomph absolute genius! Utahime and Gojo friendship! Personally that little bit got me hook line and sinker cause i dont ship them 🫠 Finally that flashback of them as teenagers in high school!!! Yes queen him falling in love and not realizing it but also i loved that the mc ruined what i assumed would be his year of just fucking around! Its god tier I know im going to add this to my list of comfort fics!!!
hi hi, i was waiting til when i was less busy so that way i could give this lovely msg a proper response!!! as always, i love love love hearing ur thoughts and seeing u in my notifs makes me so happy, like kicking my feet and giggling happy because ur such an amazing reader and i love hearing ur thoughts on my work.
first of all, even w/out me, u would have fallen for nanami bc that's just the type of man he is. most noble was so fun to write purely bc i didn't have a set plot line in place, i just let the word vomit spew all over my docs and clicked post on tumblr. that being saidddddd, i am always open to revisiting our princess and sir nanami bc the fun part in writing mutual pining is the eventual getting together. like all fairytales, they are so gonna have a happy ending <3
im so happy you've read balancing act because for me, it's such a fun project and a way for me to not so subtly vent out any pent up feelings i had towards my experience in working in banking in nyc BAHAHAHA. i think workplace dynamics are so fun to write as well & i really wanted to incorporate just how blurry boundaries are within the field but also how close knit they truly are because most of the time, you see your coworkers more than your family and your significant other and it's hard not to become friends or something more (it's either that, or u all hate each other's guts LOL). geto and gojo would not be besties if they weren't both absolute menaces, i stand by that. utahime + gojo are lowkey MY dramione HAHA, and so i always like to write them in some type of relationship, whether that be platonic or romantic. they def squabble like siblings in this fic + it's going to be so much fun writing them in a diff light than i normally do (what's up for debate is whether or not i hint towards nanami x utahime :O) nanami found out that working in academia is JUST AS TOXIC as industry, so he's back bc, hey, at least he gets paid hella money, but we'll explore more nanami lore in balancing act once i decide on his exact role in the fic muahahaha.
thank you for always reaching out with your thoughts on my writing and just to chat in general, it means the world to me <3
#no emojis bc my MacBook is broken and i am paying a stupid amount of money to get it fixed and i regret just not buying a new one#so for the time being i have been using my old MacBook Air from 2015 LMAO#where r the emojis on this thing
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just gonna vent for a moment, feel free to ignore or whatever.
I really, really, really fucking wish people would just write out the whole word "proship" when writing out their dni's in post. Especially for self ship things. Like... I have so many variations blocked that I really shouldn't be getting those posts but I am and I still fuck do because people for some fucking reason like to censor words with numbers and symbols and what have you and like. Please. Just... Spell out the whole word. It hurts literally no one except yourself cause it makes it that much harder for the people you don't want interacting to filter out those posts.
Okay, continue about your days I just need to let that out is all. Incase anyone was curious this was spurred on by the fact that I saw a post with something like "pr0sh1p" dni and it was just... great a new one to add I guess... -le sigh-
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I keep seeing and impulsively checking the blog of an old fairly toxic friend of mine n I just.
Man. Why do YOU have to be doing well. Why am I the only one who looks back and ends up feeling awful.
Not that I want him to suffer. It's better he doesn't. But like,, I'm always the one on the chopping block between the two of us. It's been 4 YEARS and one month since we've completely ceased contact. Yet my dumb ass STILL can't not think abt him at random
Like,, I'm sure I wasn't completely innocent. I was a really weird 13 year old who never had a genuine friend before, not to mention my mental illness and trauma I had yet to uncover. Yet the only person who never communicated nor seemed to care about our friendship was him. I could be pushy at times, yeah, but I always backed down if told no and whatnot.
Not only that, but I'm still annoyed that he straight up LIED about me and what I was like. One of his (ADULT) friends had contacted me in late 2018, claiming I was, and I quote, "manipulative, misgendered him, and used him as an emotional dump truck". I was 13 years old, and my only friend besides one other person had blocked me for no reason.
Literally for that WHOLE month, I was terrified. I had panic attacks and was anxious as hell. And I'll admit I was a little dependent on him, but I was still fucked from that experience.
Once we started talking again and boundaries set up. He SORT of apologized, but always insisted he was an awful friend, so I ended up having to comfort him instead. I always made excuses and everything for him, convinced that I was awful. And literally like,, there was no effort put in from his side after that. Aaaand then April 2019, I was suddenly messaged and blocked, and that was the last time we talked.
I was hurt obv but like. After that. I kept on being targeted by his adult friends (we were both 14, the friends were at LEAST 23+). Deadass I still don't know what the hell was said abt me but I KNOW it wasn't good. Bc before I knew it I had someone call me a pathetic bitch while I was having a panic attack over feeling guilty for shit I didn't do, then I was banned from like 3 system servers for "interacting inappropriately with a minor". Cue me literally being 14 at the time, a csa survivor, with no evidence even when I asked repeatedly for it, with literally no access to anyone younger than me bc of discords TOS.
The stress from that LITERALLY made us split several times and caused us to switch hosts. Sammy, the alter who was host at the time, is likely STILL dormant. All of that happened in practically the same year.
I'm still fucking baffled by it, angry, and hurt. It's been 4 damn years and I'm 90% sure he doesn't even remember us now.
Like,, christ I still can't interact with the undertale fandom for long bc it makes me remember him. I can't even look at art styles resembling his bc it makes me sick! I am TERRIFIED of venting bc I'm scared someone will lash out at me or accuse me of dumping all of my trauma on them. I'm scared I'm doing something wrong without knowing it and that tomorrow I'll wake up to having no friends bc they all blocked me.
Hell, I have issues trusting people who use the same name as him! I avoid a whole GROUP of people because I'm terrified they'll recognize me and start drama with false claims. Anyone who may have been so much as NEAR him I can't completely interact with besides a couple reblogs here and there.
And like,, I'm sure he's doing completely fine. That he's entirely unaware of the damage he caused. And, yeah, good for him, he's not suffering like I am. But also,, I'm painfully envious. I wish I was left pain free.
It's so stupid. It was 4 years ago. I really need to get over it.
#ramsey (host)#vent#vent post#66 tag#that doesnt make sense to yall but im making a private tag#specifically for me venting abt him#just. sighs loudly
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Q1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?
I came back to Blessed By Khonshu, My Son Comes Back to Me after the death of my dad and the loss of myself during those two years of doing care work, I did not for myself, I pushed my thoughts, my feelings downward just did what I was told.
The day of my father's death...I knew something was up, I felt something was wrong as my sister and her boyfriend was over; but nobody was telling me anything. I just went about my day as usual. I made brownies at the say so of my Aunt because my sister was deeply upset. They wouldn't even allow me to go into his room. It was until the evening that I pressed my aunt on it; but she didn't give me a straight answer; I wasn't getting her subtext, I'm actually autistic and one of my challenges is not picking up on social cues; so my mom came in and I screamed at her wanting to know WTF; she finally told me that my father was dying. Not even an hour later, my father died.
It was the worse kind of ableism; infantilization. it came from my mom. She withheld information and made a decision for me. I'd never been so angry and enraged in my life. I find myself not wanting to forgive her. It hurt and cut so deep.
I just felt like I didn't matter. Afterwards, things came out my grandmother treated my dad like shit along with her other children and fucked them big time; she just didn't care and because of my dad's dyslexia he was illiterate (this is pre-ADA). It made a lot of things make sense growing up and how my Dad barely interacted with my grandmother and grandfather; I don't blame him.
I wanted just to write a novel to vent my frustrations; so I chose this one. It started off as quick writing style not as intensive as The God and The Thief to keep people happy while I wrote that and it slowly starting becoming more and more important in my life and so the writing style became fuller.
Q2. What scene did you first put down?
The first scene that I put down was chapter 1, it OG was posted on Tumblr after an emotional breakdown that I had during my Gender & Globalization class; I was not in a good place emotionally. I had to write something dark, so I stayed up until 2 AM to write it.
Q9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
I would have to say there is some cross pollination between versions of En Sabah Nur in my fics.
But there are alternate versions of scenes like when Sabah Nur is connecting to the world through electronics. I was going to write a page just seeing all things he gets into like hacking all the universities in the world and getting the world's history; language files, breaking into Boeing, Raytheon and defense industry forcing them to go congress to explain what secrets got out; shutting down and causing a fire in a Trask industry production plant and shutting down a vital important part that came from Denmark so basically all his electronics and Trask industry filing for bankruptcy; shutting down pipelines in the US; shutting down trains in the Soviet Union; nearly causing black outs and watching all old documentary and broadcasts and tv shows and basically turn ALL TVs on.
Chapter 6 was OG chapter 3.
Like had planned on Erik leaving in chapter 3 (I was going to add an extra scene where he is packing up)
Charles going into Cerebro again and but unable to find Peter and going through his connection the Scotland meadows (chapter 5), however Sabah Nur laid a trap for Charles. Which makes sense with the arrow description in chapter 6. Charles's powers being de-buffed; it nearly kills him; Cerebro destroyed; Erik senses something wrong goes into rescues him and Charles wakes up that night with Erik next to him (he still DEEPLY cares about Charles).
What I have planned is more absolutely terrifying of what Sabah Nur can do. THERE Is a FUCKING reason why En Sabah Nur is considered a god. It makes him FUCKING TERRIFYING.
Charles contacting Raven on an brick phone to see if she can find Peter, waking her up in the middle of the night.
In chapter 5 that OG was Peter stirring the pot between (under Sabah Nur's control; Charles contacting him with Cerebro) Charles and Erik of one another's jealously and it was going to end with Peter losing hope and knowing no one is coming to save him. Peter needs more agency.
Then I made another twist after listening Both Reached for the Gun Chicago (Musical) ; its foreshadowed in beginning, its practically telegraphed.
@mysticillusionfox
#tw death mention#tw abelism#tw emotional breakdown#ask four alignments#4 alighments replies to a question
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay girl I need to vent and have a favor to ask:
1. Why the fuck is Nicholas trying to tell us what our hubby’s biggest turn on is??!!! Like we were dating him for over a year and there have been scenes in challenges talking about this already. Lazy writing on FB’s part
2. I was slightly mean to Meera but for whatever reason I can’t be mean in this game (I always fear that I won’t win if I am bc on a different season that I played twice, the time I was drama and mean to everyone I didn’t win haha)- all that to say can you give us screengrabs of the Meerat convos when you’re mean to her? Especially the gem scene cause I didn’t do that one!
3. Please don’t hate me but I’m leading Finn on. Picked his route because the drama I do like in this game is when I play the boys. So I’m going to keep Finn and Suresh both on their toes and pick the options for yes with both! Whoever I end up picking, I’ll replay again from these episodes to pick the opposite. Also F U fusebox for telling us things were going to get steamy in the shower with Finn this week and the only thing steamy was the actual shower steam😐 I need more bits this season people!!!
4. Everyone talks about the shit that MC has been getting this season but talk about what FB is doing to Alfie mate!!! First, I don’t think there is like anyone I’ve seen actually on his route. Like FB you have DESTROYED his chance at happiness by making him attached to MC. LIKE BABE IVE TURNED YOU DOWN FOR EVERY SINGLE OPTION THIS ENTIRE SEASON AND YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?! So many interactions and options this season have been wasted because he’s been a gnat that’s always around MC’s head. Like we could have had WAY more Li interactions if they just let us deny Alfie from the beginning and leave it at that.
ahahaha I thought the same thing!! I wish they added in a line like but you knew that about Suresh already or something like that.
that wont happen this season...everyone literally bullied us and I honestly believe they ADDED on these moments because of our complaints they wouldnt make us lose for bullying now. Also ill have to go back but I will post later and Ill tag you.
I could never hate you!! I actually was considering doing this as well until I saw that our choices in SMP mattered so now im wary of deviating off of Suresh route. BUT BABE DO YOU!!!!!! Also yes such a tease!!!
honestly this is so true...the only reason why I even entertained Alfie was because I saw from the leaks how deliciously jealous Suresh got whenever we kissed/did anything with Alfie. So of course I gave in and snogged him at every chance I got. But its even worse because I definitely led him on, then cheated with my ex 🫣😩 and this boy is still after me!! BUT what I recently discovered from a very helpful anon was that if you're on the Dana route, Alfie basically comes after you AGAIN in episode 34. The man has never given up on MC even when she picks Dana. I feel for him.
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
glasswindowpane
perpetua perennis impervia
horahore98
Untitled
andreibolkonsky
an elopement.
whompless
StrixNix
mudspuddle
Spud Here!