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gracefall-mcyt · 29 days

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Was originally going to write this as a comment elsewhere, but uh. Have some thoughts on Double Life Scott and Pearl. This may be slightly controversial? If you disagree that's fine by me, we're all entitled to our own opinions, especially on topics with nuance! I usually find people going way too easy on Double Life c!Pearl and too hard on Double Life c!Scott. Was Scott a good person? A good soulmate, for that matter? No! But Pearl wasn't those things either. They were mutually abusive to one another throughout the season. I will say that I think Pearl was less bad, but there are so many people who just... completely dismiss Scott's end of things.

Scott: Caused harm to himself to harm Pearl (though at a consistently safe time to do so, at the start of the session, via a single axe crit), and spoke about Pearl quite awfully (calling her his "crazy ex", etc.) Pearl: Caused harm to herself (far more sporadically than Scott, via "tickles" from the powdered snow every now and then), and took unnecessary risks just because she could

Honestly, I don't blame Scott for "abandoning" her in the beginning. Like, for him, it would have been a reasonable assumption that she and Martyn would continue to stick together. Scott wasn't leaving her alone, he was leaving her with Martyn, choosing instead to stay with Cleo--the one who actually stuck by him while their soulbounds were off in the nether doing who knows what (which turned out to be gathering resources, even though the main resources you might want to go to the nether for, potion making supplies, are useless in a season where potions are banned). Scott is not to blame for Martyn's agency. It was Martyn who decided to blame Pearl (even though the big problem, the nether trip, was his idea), it was Martyn who left her alone. (Also, it may be worth mentioning that I'm pretty sure it was Cleo's idea for her and Scott to stay together? Please correct me if I'm wrong on that, again it's been a while.) (EDIT: Cleo did in fact suggest it! They said "We should form an alliance against them." It was a little bit of a joke, but they both seriously agreed to it. Still worth noting that it was Cleo's idea for them to stay together.)

Again, I feel the need to emphasize that c!Scott is not a good person. He becomes abusive to Pearl, who also becomes abusive, and they abuse one another from afar. Or when they talk to one another. They are awful to each other. It is a mutual thing, and I find that not enough people acknowledge that. They both suffered as the other's soulbound.

It's really, really important to remember that the Life Series--Double Life especially--is FULL of nuance when you look at it from a storytelling perspective. The Life Series has no real heroes, and no real villains. Only people doing their best to ensure the survival of their team and/or themselves. Scott and Pearl both had thoughts about what was best, and those thoughts clashed this season, leading them to clash with one another.

Really, I think that adds another layer to their ending. Scott, in his way, forgives Pearl through a show of loyalty and fairness he only gives to allies, conceding the true victory to her unprompted, and Pearl in turn forgives Scott. This only happens when there's nothing left but each other. They are finally on the same wavelength again, with no Cleo to sway Scott away from Pearl and no Martyn to deal the final blow to shatter Pearl's heart. It's just Gatekeep and Girlboss, truly together for a brief time, anger and animosity put aside. The Stars welcoming The Moon to join him in the night sky, where they can try again. Tilly death did they part, yes, but in parting they were set free from each other, and they were able to mend their connection on their own terms.

#remember i'm talking about the characters only. content creators Scott and Pearl are good friends and do not reflect their DL counterparts #some scattered thoughts:#--in a way scott is to soulmates as cats are to water #does great with them/it but absolutely hates it when they're forced together #--the only good person involved in this situation was tilly. we love tilly here <3 #--i don't know how much of it came out here but I really think that it's mostly c!Martyn's fault in the beginning #ofc c!Pearl and c!Scott have their own agency and should be blamed for their own actions #but it was Martyn who kickstarted things by deciding to go to the Nether and then proceeded to worsen them by abandoning Pearl.#you know I've got like at least three analysis-adjacent posts I should probably have a tag for that #grace's traffic thoughts #that works #time to go retrofit the other posts with the same label #life series #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #double life #double life smp #trafficblr #cw abuse #<- just in case!

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thomewt · 2 months

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spoilers for real life do you guys like my chart

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krashlite · 4 months

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The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy

So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them

Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.

3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?

They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally

The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow

I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this

Anyways

LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL

In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.

BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience

Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB

I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him

Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.

Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep

BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.

Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling

Putting a pin in that!

On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!

Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.

Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.

All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar

No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn

BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.

They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so

But anyways

BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.

Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.

Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other

Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.

So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations

Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him

It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways

Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys

Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!

I’m not normal about this season whatsoever

In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.

BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy

On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server

So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good

And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed

I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.

And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense

I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away

Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways

SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later

#anyways this is barely proof read so sorry if I come across as a rambling lunatic #DL was an entire mess for them and their soulmates and they did not handle it well #trafficshipping #including that for DL mostly #grian #bigbst4tz2 #trafficblr #life series smp #I’m normal about them I prommy #these two are The toxic yaoi for me rn so don’t mind my insanity

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ghosted-jazz · 2 years

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My favourite crazy ex-soulmate

#double life smp #double life spoilers #pearlescentmoon #scott smajor #Been doing dl designs based on romance tropes and ig divorce quartret high school trope also became part slasher film #Blame 'final girl' for coming onto my spotify shuffle. Pearl can be a masked killer- as a treat #its almost 5am here too- gotta go to bed before i jump into some powdered snow to hurt my soulmate #tw knife #my art

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mar-im-o · 2 years

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The Watcher's hands weave threads of green and gold and red throughout those Grian loves.

And in those threads the Watchers tie souls. Souls bound in love. Souls bound in pain. Souls bound between one another. Some try to fight it--insisting that they are not soulmates, that their soul belongs to another, but it's a tiresome, futile effort to reject the manipulation of the soul.

Not that Grian thinks so.

He's seen how the others react as they try to reject their soulmates. Scott thinks of Pearl constantly, dotes on her well-being, obsessively calls her to him under the guise of toying with her. Martyn sobs for Cleo. BDubs panics when Impulse is too far from him.

The Watcher's threads are strong.

But not to Grian.

"We're not soulmates," he insists one evening, the harsh words riding on the breeze rushing pass their base and off into the ravine.

He's perched atop pointed dripstone, watching lazily as Scar puts the Jellie pandas to sleep. His friend looks up at Grian with a start, brow quirked in a teasing glance. "Oh?"

"Yep," Grian goes on. Clipped wings help him leap from the cake and onto the perimeter of the Jellie Sanctuary. "Big B's my soulmate now. Just so you know."

Scar snorts then turns back the Jellies, feeding one bamboo. "Well, alright then!"

Grian squints. "Seriously. I'm leaving you. Big B and I are running away together."

"Right."

"Far away," Grian says, placing emphasis on the distance as he looks to the sky, pretending not to be drinking in Scar's every reaction. "We're gonna build our own ranch in the mountains. Farm goats."

"Sounds nice."

"Without you."

"Just remember to eat," Scar says with hum, scratching beneath a Jellie's chin. "I'll try not to get us on Red!"

But the red has already infiltrated Grian's soul, shown through a burning in his cheeks. He puffs them out in frustration (a little more bird-like than he'd prefer) feathers at his back fluffing in a similar response as he jumps into the sanctuary.

It spooks the Jellies and a few grumble in response, the one nearly tipping Scar's chair backwards. Scar rights himself with a laugh, finally meeting Grian's eyes.

And he's fine. No hidden jealousy, no subtle longing. Nothing. He's...

He's fine.

Grian puffs up a bit more. "Do you not care if I leave?"

Scar finally seems to register Grian's tone and sobers. He tilts his head, full attention on Grian.

Finally.

"Do you want me to?" Scar asks, and Grian feels like he could explode.

"YES!! We're soulmates! We should be doing what the others are, shouldn't we? Being alone should sound miserable!"

Scar just offers a confused chuckle, looking around the sanctuary as if the Jellies could help him escape. "Well it doesn't sound fun but I don't own you, G. If you want to leave, you can leave!"

"But--" Grian fumbles for words, trying his best to soothe a soul that won't calm. He ends up just crossing his arms. "This isn't how the game goes. Everyone else--they want to be together, they're obsessed with each other. Why aren't we?"

"Because we're not them?" Scar guesses. He's clicked off his brakes so he can move closer to Grian, offering a hand. "Why do you want to be?"

Grian looks away from the open palm.

He doesn't know. He doesn't know why this is so important to him, why he wants to see Scar get worked up and angry and insist that they're meant to be together. He doesn't know why this has him panicking.

Everyone else--their soulmates are their everythings, but no matter what Grian does, Scar's attention can easily find something else. Does that mean he doesn't care?

"Gri?"

Grian sniffs. "You do care, right? About me? You like being soulmates?"

Scar laughs, a bit more genuine in his surprise. "Of course I do! Did you think I didn't?"

"Maybe?" Grian shrugs and, finally, places a hand in Scar's offered palm. Familiar fingers wrap around his, and he's happy to let the sensation calm him. "I just don't get why it hasn't affected us like everyone else. Guess I figured something was wrong."

"Something wrong--?" Scar shakes his head and tugs an unsuspecting Grian forward, the man squawking a bit as he falls forward and into Scar's lap. Scar immediately traps him in a hug, pressing their foreheads together.

When he speaks again it's with a fond smile and a faux British accent. "'I am in your service until you lose your first life'."

The anger disperses at the poor mockery and Grian snorts, making an attempt to shove Scar away. "That's borderline offensive!"

Scar only pulls Grian closer, a teasing glint in his eye. "'I don't want to see him go! I just can't let him go!'"

"Alright," Grian laughs, and he gives in. He melts in Scar's arms, wings a curtain of feathers separating them from the Jellies. And they're alone. And they're together. And Grian is putty in Scar's lap, sturdy arms holding him close. "What's all this then?"

"Proof," Scar says, voice normal again. "And accent practice."

Grian shakes his head. "Needs work. And proof of what?"

"That we're soulmates." Scar's hand moves from Grian's back to his chest, plucking the ethereal thread between them. "The Watchers didn't tie this, Grian. We did. Back when this all started."

"I don't--"

"If we aren't like everyone else, it's because they're all new to this! They've never been bound to someone else before. But we have." Scar's fingers roll into an open palm pressed firmly over Grian's heart. He can feel his heart race at the sensation, and Scar's follows. "We're soulmates, Grian."

And Grian collapses. Tears which threatened his eyes spill and he shifts to wrap his arms around Scar, chests pressed together so that two synced hearts might combine. He buries his face in Scar's neck and Scar holds him.

Scar holds him.

"We're soulmates," Grian whispers to the wind and the evening stars.

And a loyal partner whispers back: "We're soulmates."

#pov i can fix them i can make their relationship better #grian can also be soulmates with big b tho #poly rights #anyways #mcyt #grian #gtws #double life smp #double life #dl smp #trafficblr #scarian #desert duo #fic

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yb-cringe · 2 years

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already having feelings abt double life pearl. shes really gettin the worst of it right now. in a world of soulmates and sharing lives she was rejected not only by her soulmate, but her friend’s soulmate and her friend bc she was too distracted to look

#i mean DANG shes my skrunkly give her a soulmate and a friend PLEASE #double life smp #dl smp #dlsmp

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cubfan-montblanc · 5 months

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Is there a chance we can get more tangdubs? Pretty please?

oh anon there is /always/ a chance for more tangdubs. just for you ^_^ here are a couple tangdubs epic bitch moments from early secret life. they are such haters to each other <3

#trafficshipping #tangotek #bdoubleo100 #tangdubs #slsmp #secret life smp #life series #traffic smp #life smp #art tag #my art #secret life spoilers #tango tek #bdubs #it’s all ‘hey snookums bdoublesoulmate <3’ until he stabs you in the back and takes two lives from you in the span of an hour #side note a dl soulmate swap au with these two would be so fun. the betrayal is even fresher~#they’d have annoying petnames fs

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canarydarity · 8 months

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having a normal one watching Bdubs lim life tonight and thinking about how when Bdubs betrayed Tango in last life, Skizz told Tango that for the sake of team best he had to go and forgive him.

But when Bdubs boogey kills Skizz in lim life before team ties is even really formed, Skizz is allowed to have it out for Bdubs for almost the entire first half of the season, even when the clockers ally with them and it would've been easier to let sleeping dogs lie.

Tango, the perpetually extraneous and undervalued member of his alliances...the too often shoved aside and betrayed...being told it was his duty to the team to forgive bdubs and move on....

But no one—especially not Tango—tried to tell Skizz to let it go.

#and like. now im thinking about how no one is ever really ride or die for tango. ever #people are allied with him but no one PRIORITIZES him #as a team rancher fan myself id be tempted to argue Jimmy is but you can just as easily point to how that was in a way self serving #and I dont just mean with the soulmate mechanic so worrying about tango was worrying about himself for jimmy #but i mean it in the way of jimmy was so worried about tango because #jimmy was worried about HIMSELF being the thing that hindered him and dragged him down #whihc is not to say that jimmy didnt also worry about tango #but it is to say that the dl rule set played heavily on jimmys insecurities and fears #he was most of the time worried about himself. YES because of how that affected tango. but also because it served his guilt complex #and so his intentions were colored by that as someone whos incredibly willing to make himself the problem whenevr he sees fit #whihc is again nothing on him hes my fave ya know i love the guy #i just mean even in double life where by design it shouldve happened tango wasnt made anyones top priority #not in the way that we come to see it across many other pairs. not in the obsessive worrying about his safety #or just in the general Being Weird About Each Other Way #sure you could argue skizz and tango last life...tango was for a while skizzs priority—until skizz shifted his sights to team best #even when team best wasnt giving their all backt o him that was skizzs focus #and if tango were really his priority over the wellbeing of the team such as it was for bdubs and etho #skizz wouldnt have tried to make tango forgive bdubs after he was betrayed #skizz wouldnt have kept asking tango to give more and more to a team he got little if not nothing out of over and over.....just #GAH! NO ONES EVER DEVOTED TO TANGO!!! NO ONE EVER CHOOSES TANGO TO BE THEIR //PERSON// THEIR. HES NEVER SOMEONES TOP PRIORITY #again im nto saying teh ranchers werent devoted to each other you know i love them more than anything in the whole world #i just mean. not in exactly the way i mean....#and not completely when jimmy was so (understadnably) preoccupied with trying not to carry on his curse again #especially while attached to someone else #worm says

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angeart · 10 months

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it’s another life game and turns out, this time they’re linked to someone.

they share pain, life, fate. hearts connected, there’s no other word for it but soulmate.

scar doesn't look for his soulmate. he watches other people find each other, and he remembers how it was in last life. it's a bit too fresh. he thinks he doesn't need a soulmate. or maybe he doesn't deserve one. maybe he doesn't have one? it's wretched. maybe he just needs to find something that makes him happy instead.

so he chases after an allay and finds his way to cute jellie pandas.

grian. grian looks at scar in that lake and he doesn't yell nooooo

he just stares, shocked and transfixed. he isn't sure what this means. why is this happening? why is scar bound to him? and why is-

why is it so hard to tell him? why can't scar just notice? why isn't he paying attention, why isn't he searching?

grian watches scar's back as scar bounces away from him, oblivious.

and grian thinks it's okay. it hurts, he's insane with worry, but he's biting it down. he gets to build something safe. a food source. something to help them survive.

because they're a them—a we—even if scar doesn't realise yet.

grian goes to find him. he finds him surrounded by pandas, and... he needs to tell him.

he needs to tell him, but the words are hard to say. they sound cheesy. they sound false.

maybe he needs to prove it instead. have something to show so that scar can understand.

so he hurts himself.

he hurts himself to show scar and-

no, that's not right.

he hurts scar.

no.

he hurts both of them, efficiently in one go.

he's good at that.

but scar isn't paying attention.

it keeps fraying and straying from grian and-

scar, please.

grian does it again.

he does it again, knowing what's coming, familiarising himself with the pain that travels through the invisible bond.

he does it, and scar is looking this time, and-

"oh."

they stare at each other.

grian's heart beats wildly in his chest. he doesn't know what to expect now.

in one lifetime, he killed scar. in another, he isolated him.

he doesn't want to do those things anymore.

this time, they die together.

this time, there's no hurting one without hurting the other.

this time...

this time, grian thinks and holds onto it like a lifeline.

he wants to do better.

"it's you," scar breathes out finally, disbelieving tone sneaking into his words.

"it's me," grian confirms, queasy, his words wobbly around the edges.

he has apologies he wants to say.

they don't make it out.

but scar doesn't need them.

scar steps forward and gingerly touches grian's jaw, fingertips sliding up to his cheek. his fingers are warm, fingertips pulsating slightly with rapid heartbeat. "it's us," scar corrects both of them, easily, as if everything just slotted together without a fight, without a struggle, without the burdens of previous lives and pain and trauma.

"it's us," grian repeats, a little bit choked. he closes his eyes and leans into scar's touch. "we'll get through it together this time," he promises. no deathmatch. no abandoning each other. they're in this together.

#this is literally just copied from my rambles at stiff on discord #fixing DL #listen i need them to be soulmates but properly #ange writes #this isn't really drabble shaped it's literally just a ramble #i needed to get it out #i'll tack an AU on this because there might be more #fixing dl au #scarian #trafficshipping

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