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draculasfavoritewife · 1 month

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No Word For Hero

Summary: You love him and the way he will always be your protector, but sometimes facing the truth is the most terrifying thing of all.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Warnings: Nightmares and discussions of death. The one-two punch of angst and fluffiness all in one. This one is a fair bit more somber than my other Mando stuff.

Another trope I will never ever get tired of -- the "having a nightmare while sleeping with your partner" routine! 🥳 Gets me in my feels every time, particularly with a character like Din who (to me at least) canonically also has frequent nightmares. I first drafted this one a couple summers ago as a result of all my feelings after that big moment in "The Marshal", as I'm sure will be obvious.

*Translations of less common words/phrases in Mando'a at the end

It's coming, exploding up from beneath the billowing sands, looming over everyone, titanic, monstrous, ravenous....

...He turns to you, ever so briefly, tilts his head in that meaningful look you know all too well...that damn look that means he's going to play hero again.

Damn his altruism.

When is he going to stop?

You already know that answer, too. It lurks forever in the back of your mind, awake or asleep, always whispering there, a constant venom ever deepening its grasp around your heart until one day the cold reality finally breaks it.

He'll stop when he finally doesn't come back to you.

When he's at last granted the warrior's death you know he desires.

Only then.

You can't even scream as he disappears down the dragon's throat, too frozen with horror to make a sound....

You bolt upright, gasping for breath, damp hair clinging to your face and tears running down, their salty tang sharp on your lips.

Stupid nightmares.

"Go away," you mutter, rubbing harshly at your eyes. "Just stop."

The cot is small, realistically much too small for two adults, and your distress is painfully evident to the man sharing it with you, whose arm has just been violently dislodged from its place around your torso.

"Bad dream?"

He sounds tired. He hardly ever sleeps through a full night at the best of times, and even then it's rarely a deep sleep.

If the old saying "sleep with one eye open" were actually true, Din would be its personification.

You curse your overactive mind a second time, for disturbing his precious few moments of rest along with your own.

"I'm fine." You don't lie back down, instead pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms tightly around them. Normally you find his quarters chilly, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins makes the room suddenly feel close and stuffy.

He shifts against you in the dark, no doubt to study your posture. "You don't sound fine."

You sigh. "I will be. You should try and get some sleep, Din."

You hear him lean back into the wall, a long exhale betraying stiffness somewhere in his muscles.

You've offered him the side of the bed that's not right up against the wall, but to your surprise he actually likes to be pressed closely between your body and the solidness of metal at his back.

You suspect it gives him a sense of security in a life that holds so little for him.

"I'm sorry I woke you," you add before he can speak again.

"You didn't." His revelation is cool and distant, as if his lack of rest means nothing to him. "I haven't slept at all tonight."

You turn to stare at him in dismay, only to be met with the void of deep darkness. "Why didn't you --"

"What? Wake you up to tell you I can't sleep?" Somehow you know he's shaking his head at you. "That fixes nothing, Cyar'ika. My sleep was disturbed since long before we met." His voice softens as he reaches for you, his large, comfortingly familiar hand stroking down your side. "But when I have you in my arms, listening to your breathing, I can at least find some peace. And that is often enough."

You let out another shuddering breath and gaze out into the dim compartment, the images from your nightmare replaying over and over behind your eyes like a holovid stuck on loop.

"I think I need some air," you murmur.

"Take my shirt, then." You're grateful he doesn't try to stop you; he knows you were taking care of yourself for a long time before you two struck up your partnership. He trusts you to look out for danger.

"Vor'e, Cyare." You slide from the bed, his fingers trailing away from your hip as you break from his gentle touch. He watches as you blindly take his shirt from the pile of clothes left on the floor and pull it over your head, pausing only to grab a vibroblade before exiting his quarters.

"I'll come back," you promise softly.

And the words sting deep down as they leave your lips, knowing that one day, one of you might not be able to keep that promise.

The night is cool and clear on this planet, and the breeze smells like living growth from the thick woods nearby. It's a far cry from the dust and smoke of so many of the worlds you've stayed on before, and soon you start to calm down, heartbeat returning to normal and perspiration drying at the wind's light touch. Everything is peaceful around you, the night birds calling and water flowing somewhere behind the trees.

Not for the first time, your thoughts stray towards the impossibility of trying to stay somewhere like this place, to drop everything you know and carve out a life on a frontier planet somewhere. You and Din and Grogu, living modestly and secretly away from the prying eyes of the Imperials or the Jedi, pretending at normalcy....

There's the key word.

Pretending.

You've played many parts since you lost your buir so many years ago. Dancer in the clubs of the Core worlds, thief, animal wrangler, pilot, hired gun. You could adapt, you feel fairly certain. It's the skill that's most reliably kept you alive this long.

But Din....

He's so deeply entrenched in his upbringing. His honor, and the hunt, mean everything to him. Whatever else he tries to be, he will always be the Mandalorian first and foremost. The Way runs through his veins, thicker than blood, and the fierce heart of a warrior beats beneath the beskar.

It's why he will ultimately always make sacrifices to keep those under his protection safe.

It's who he is. His identity.

The reason that one day he might not emerge from the belly of the beast in triumph.

And you love him, exactly the way he is. You'd never ask him to change.

But Maker, sometimes the knowledge of what that means hurts deeper than any physical wound.

So you stand there at the edge of the woods and let the tears come, let the sobs wrack your body as you bury yourself deeper in his comforting shirt, praying that the day never comes that all you have left are memories and clothes that smell like him.

Eventually, your grief runs its course and you can breathe once again. The crunch of footsteps in the damp grass warrants a side glance, but as you thought, it's only your beroya, come to check on you, no doubt.

"You've been out here a long time," he remarks.

"Had a lot on my mind."

He encircles you in his arms from behind, chin resting in the dip of your shoulder. You're surprised that he didn't replace his helmet to come out here, but sunrise is still a long way off.

"I'm usually the one with the nightmares," he teases softly. "This one must have been rough. Want to talk?"

You find his hands at your waist, interlock your fingers with his.

"I lost someone. Someone very important to me."

Turning slightly so you can rest your cheek against his, you kiss the very edge of his lips. "It scares me, Din."

He's quiet for some time, and you try to imagine the expression on his face.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers. "I can't give you anything but my word that I will always try my hardest to come back to you. That is what fuels me, ner'kar'ta. The fire in my blood, the strength in my bones, is knowing that I need to make it back for you. But I realize that it is a double-edged blade. Because it also means I would give everything, to keep you safe in the end."

"I know, Din. I remember what my buir used to tell me, you know, how we have no word for 'hero' in our mother tongue, because to be Mando'ade is to risk all for the ones you love. I know I'm so selfish." You turn all the way around at last, hiding your face in his bare chest. "But I accept your vow. And it will have to be enough."

Collecting yourself and finally raising your haunted gaze to his, you manage a small smile. "But I will fight for you, Din Djarin. Death will find one hell of a struggle when it finally comes for you, I can promise you that."

"There's my girl." The fond grin in his voice is audible. "Now, will you come back to bed? It's getting lonesome in there."

You let him lead you back to the ship, and the sigh of the wind now seems to promise to whisk your fears away for the time being.

The door slides shut behind you, and you shiver, realizing all of a sudden just how cold you are. His shirt is a welcome barrier against the biting chill, and you wonder how he was able to get along without it outside.

"Cold?" he asks.

"Yes." You reach out for him, wordlessly begging for his warmth.

He sidesteps you and folds his arms across his chest. "Take it off," he demands, and indicates the shirt with a nod, husky voice brimming with humor and a shade of something hungrier. "Or I will."

You hug the worn fabric closer to your body and shake your head mutinously. "But it's the only thing keeping me warm!"

"So you've chosen the hard way." He crosses the small space in a couple of long strides and starts to tease the garment off of you, bit by agonizing bit. "And how dare you let a piece of clothing do a man's job."

"You're making me cold again," you complain as he pulls you into bed with him, the hunter retreating back to his lair to finish off his fortunate prey.

"Then honor dictates I repair the damage I've caused," he hums, and you surrender to the bliss of being completely enveloped in his embrace. Din has always run hot, ever since you started sleeping together, and his warmth and familiar weight are so much better than any sweet dream of yours could be.

In the here and now, he's still alive, and he's still yours.

There will be no more tears tonight.

"Better?" he growls into your throat.

You run your fingers through his thick curls, sighing at the way he always manages to banish all of your dark thoughts away. And maybe now there will even be time for him to get some sleep before morning as well.

"I am now."

Vor'e = Thank you

Buir = Parent

Beroya = Bounty Hunter

Ner'kar'ta = My heart

Mando'ade = Child of Mandalore

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bleakbluejay · 1 year

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one benefit of the helmet, i imagine, is that nobody can see how scared you are, or how sad, or how lost. the severe and stoic features of the beskar conceal that world-weary little boy sometimes still hiding in the cellar.

#bbjart #art #fan art #din djarin #the mandalorian #mandalorian #i love playing with light and thought this was a visually awesome idea #also i love how every time din takes off his helmet he looks so so sad #like the saddest smallest scaredest guy i've ever seen #makes me wonder if that's how he always looks under there

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thefrogdalorian · 7 days

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One of the best things about The Mandalorian is how it spends multiple episodes making you intrigued about and intimidated by the main character and then he finally removes his helmet and he's literally just:

#din djarin #the mandalorian #star wars #pedro pascal #did i lie?#sad little meow meow man he's so pathetic honestly #i love him #another shitpost

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omgahgase · 1 year

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luke: so the battery of my electric toothbrush died, right? and i was like "oh my force i can't brush my teeth anymore, i need a whole new toothbrush!"

luke: and then i realized: dumbass. you can brush your teeth acoustically.

din:

luke: *waves around dead toothbrush*

din, completely serious: i'm madly in love with you.

#dinluke #luke skywalker #din djarin #star wars #the mandolorian #skydalorian #din x luke #din finds everything luke does so endearing #he also gets more batteries for luke's toothbrush #luke actually uses a tooth tunes toothbrush and is very sad he can't hear his favorite cantina music anymore

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beskarandblasters · 10 months

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hiiiii long time follower and avid reader but first time requesting i want to preface saying that i ADORE everything you write (i do have a soft spot for your angsty pieces bc you always DELIVER) as for the request (i know its pretty trope-y but i cant help that i like it 😭) din djarin x reader where there's (preceived) unrequited love <maybe reader thinks bo katan is better for din because reader isn't a mando> but honestly if this request doesn't inspire your writing powers i will eat up any angst to fluff fic you write with any and all plotlines and characters ❣ thank you for sharing your works here on tumblr im so grateful to have found your blog i really hope you're living your best life irl because your work always lifts me up

That Should Be Me

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Main Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist

Author’s note: This is the kindest ask/request I’ve ever received🥹🥹 I hope I did your idea justice bb 🖤

Summary: You’ve been traveling with Din and Grogu for quite sometime now as the mechanic for the Razor Crest. But when Bo-Katan joins your group you started feeling a little threatened by her. You’ve had feelings for Din for a long time and Din and Bo just seem to click so well that it makes you feel jealous. Now you, Din, Grogu are on Nevarro right before the Mandalorians leave to reclaim Mandalore and some feelings are brought to the surface.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, jealousy, reader sits on Din's lap, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, semi public sex (heavy on the semi), no use of y/n

The jealousy stirs in your stomach, watching Din and Bo talk while all of the other Mandalorians celebrate around them. You look down at Grogu, who you’re holding on your hip and he babbles happily. At least he's here to somewhat cheer you up.

The jealousy has been festering for a while, ever since Bo-Katan came to Din’s rescue in the Mines of Mandalore. Grogu came up from the Mines and it was clear that Din needed help. So you and him went back to Bo’s palace much to your chagrin. She brought both of you back to Mandalore and rescued Din. And ever since then she’s been a fixture in your little group.

You watch the way they interact and you can’t help but feel jealous. She’s so strong and a natural born leader. It’s clear that Din holds her in such a high regard. And though you can’t blame him, it still makes you jealous.

You’ve had feelings for Din ever since you started traveling with him and Grogu. You would take care of the Razor Crest’s repairs and in return you’d get a place to stay and food in your stomach.

Once Grogu went to train with Luke you hoped that maybe something would happen between you and Din. But it never did. And you just accepted that your feelings for him were unrequited. You were somewhat accepting of that until Bo-Katan came into the picture. And now watching them together is almost too much to bear.

It’s the night before the Mandalorians are supposed to leave to retake Mandalore. You’re supposed to go with them but your jealousy has you second guessing everything. And before you can even think about whether this is a good idea or not, you're walking over to Din and Bo.

“Din?” you ask, interrupting whatever he and Bo were talking about.

He turns to face you and Grogu.

“Are you two okay?”

“Oh, we’re fine! But can I talk to you about something for a moment?”

“Sure,” he says before turning back to Bo, “I’ll be back.”

Your heart sinks at that as you walk back to the Razor Crest together. You stop at the exit ramp and turn to face him before blurting out, “I don’t think I should go with you all tomorrow.”

You wince in anticipation of his response to which he says, “I was thinking the same.”

Your stomach stirs at his words. He really doesn’t feel the same way and this is clear confirmation of it.

“Okay… um well I’m gonna get him to bed,” you say, referring to Grogu, “It’s getting kind of late. H-have fun,” you finish, your voice cracking.

You don’t even wait for a response from him before turning on your heel and walking up the exit ramp of the Crest, closing it behind you. You get Grogu settled in his hammock for bed before climbing up the ladder to the cockpit and sitting in one of the passenger seats. You put your hand in your hands and let the tears flow. Even though he never confirmed any feelings for you, you’d be happy with just the three of you in your own little group. But then Bo-Katan showed up and so did all of the other Mandalorians and now your Mandalorian is more unavailable than ever.

After a while you hear the exit ramp open again and you know he’s coming back, probably to ask you about your little outburst earlier. He climbs up the ladder and sits in the pilot chair, spinning it around to face you.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” he says softly.

“There’s nothing wrong. I’m fine,” you lie.

“We both know that’s not true.”

You’re both silent for a moment. But then you decide it’s better to just get this over with now.

“I was just feeling… jealous.”

“Jealous? Why?”

“Of you and Bo-Katan.”

He almost laughs but he restrains himself. “Why would you be jealous of Bo-Katan and I?”

“I just… I see the way you two are together. And it hurts because I have feelings for you but I know I’ll never be good enough. She’s a Mandalorian and I’m not. And I just-”

But you’re cut off by him. “You have feelings for me?”

“…Yes. I just never told you. I guess this whole time I was waiting for you to make the first move but you never did so I just assumed you didn’t feel the same way. And then you told me you didn’t want me to come to Mandalore and I guess I just sort of spiraled.”

Now he’s laughing. But not in a mocking way. Almost like he’s laughing at himself.

“I didn’t want you to come to Mandalore because it’s too dangerous. I never want anything to happen to you. Maybe if both of us had just told each other our feelings sooner we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Our feelings?”

He grabs your hand. “I have feelings for you, cyar’ika. I think I was just too upset with Grogu being gone and then becoming an apostate to fully realize what was right in front of me.”

Maker, all you want to do is kiss him right now but you know you can’t.

“But… I’m not a Mandalorian.”

He laughs again. “It’s not completely unheard of for Mandalorians to be with non Mandalorians, cyar’ika.”

“What does that mean?”

“Sweetheart.”

Oh. Butterflies flutter in your stomach at the pet name. Feeling a little bashful you stand up and say, “Well we should probably get back to the others… right?”

He stands up, too, and says, “We could… or we could do something else.”

His hands find your waist and he pulls you closer before bringing one hand to the waistband of your pants.

“Din! Right here? What if someone outside sees us through the window?”

“So? Isn’t that what you wanted? For everyone to know you’re mine?”

You feel your core tingle in arousal at his words.

“Okay,” you whisper.

Wasting no time at all he pulls down your pants and tugs off one of his gloves before bringing it to your cunt, feeling how wet you are already.

“That did it for you, huh? Just the teasing?”

“Mhm,” you whimper against him as he plays with your cunt, teasing you until you’re soaked enough for entry. He plunges a finger in and you lean into him against his chest plate. His one finger works your walls until you’re begging for more.

“Please, Din. I need more,” you whimper.

“Of course,” he purrs, “You’ve waited for me long enough.”

And on the last word he pushes another finger in, curling both of them against your g-spot until you can barely keep yourself upright. You cum against the beskar chest plate, the cool metal contrasting against the heat rising in your cheeks. You feel your walls tighten and release around them before your wetness slides all the way down to his wrist.

He pulls his hand from you and takes off his other glove. But before you have time to whine at the absence of him inside you he hooks his hands on your hips and places you in front of the control panel and coaxes you to bend over.

You bend over and rest your arms on the control panel, standing on your tiptoes and sticking up your ass for him. Your eyes scan outside the ship; there’s no one around. But Din was right. You really wouldn’t care if someone caught you.

You feel his hand gather your juices, spreading it onto his cock. His hands return to your hips as he enters you, both of you sighing at the feeling of him being inside you at last. He pulls you into him as he thrusts in you, making a mess of you against the control panel. With each drive of his cock inside you he reaches deeper and more intense angles. You push back against him one last time as he fucks you with the most force he’s had so far and you’re coming around him. Your core muscles tighten and relax in rhythmic motions and your release slides down your legs. Your knees buckle underneath you; you can’t keep yourself upright for much longer. But triggered by your own orgasm Din comes, too. He paints your inside with his own release. But you don’t freak out. He knows you have an implant and you’ve been dying for his cum inside you already. He fucks you through his high before pulling out of you and sitting in the pilot seat behind him.

You pull yourself off of the control panel and sit on his lap. You’re both silent, just catching your breath until you ask, “So you don’t want me to come to Mandalore?”

“Stay here where it’s safe, cyar'ika. I’ll come back for you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

#listen ik ive been posting like a TON lately but writing distracts from the sad thots ok #din djarin smut #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x female reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #mandalorian smut #mando x you #mando x reader #mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin x fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #pedrostories

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psychosith · 7 months

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Echo

cal kestis x reader

summary: despite being close for years, you and cal go your separate ways after a particularly harsh argument. cal doesn’t see or hear of you for a long time, but stumbles across an old jacket of yours that reveals something to him

warnings: angsttttt, yelling/arguing, injuries, death, perhaps ooc!mean cal

a/n: i’m so sorry to the reqs sitting in my drafts ive had no motivation😭 specifically to the person who requested modern!anakin @ a halloween party it’s a little late for that now i feel like…. but anyways y’all might not know this but i’m obsessed w our boy cal and UGH. this prompt from @fallen-vic just struck me right and i had to get writing right away

the last four months had been a blur.

one second you were stripping an old star destroyer on bracca with cal, and the next he was fighting an imperial inquisitor while you cowered away in the corner. then you had boarded a ship with a lanky woman and abrasive latero. they had taken you to a planet hidden from the empire, a place where you thought you and cal could live safely. you couldn’t have been more wrong.

cal returned from the temple on bogano that first day talking about restoring the jedi order and a holocron? from there, it was all downhill. back and forth between kashyyyk, zeffo, and dathomir, all the while cal was forced to face strong enemies that left him on the brink of death every day. and you were tasked with patching him up at the end of every mission.

too many times have you entered his rooms while he was preparing to leave again and begged him to stay. it was always the same answer- i’ll be back before you know it. he couldn’t know, though, the feelings you harbored for him. he couldn’t understand how it pained you physically to watch him leave and come back beaten and bruised. but you stayed, because you loved him, and because you believed he wanted you with him.

it was all too much for you today. it seemed insane; they were planning to infiltrate the fortress inquisitorius and retrieve the holocron. you had stopped on a small planet to stock up on supplies before the big mission, and you were in your usual position: pleading with cal.

“cal, please,” you begged, tears welling up in your eyes. “this is just- it’s too dangerous cal! i mean, an imperial fort, for fucks sake! cal, if you didn’t come back from this… i don’t know-“

he cut you off with a reassuring hand on your arm. “y/n, i’ll be alright. i’ll have cere with me, and i’m stronger than ever. trust me.”

“you say that every time, you know. and every time, without fail, you come back closer to death than i’ve ever seen you. cal, we’ve found you passed out in the mud on kashyyyk. we’ve found you slumped against a generator on zeffo with a blaster wound in your stomach. no one will be there to find you if things go wrong this time, cal.” you say numbly, vaguely aware that there’s nothing you can say to make him stay.

“you’re being dramatic.” he says plainly. “you have no reason to be worried. i always come back, y/n. this time will be no different. you need to calm down.”

you groan in frustration, at his naïveté. “no, cal! you don’t understand… how much it hurts to watch you go. and who knows where you would be without me to put your pieces back together.”

you hear him scoff and look down at your hands as tears finally fall down your cheeks. you can tell he’s stressed by the tension in his shoulders.

“without you? y/n, i don’t need you to do this.” his words hurt, but you try to tell yourself the mission is getting to his head, that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying.

“y/n,” he says, waving a hand in front of your face, “did you hear me? i. don’t. need. you. if you’re so worried about me, maybe you should just leave. then i wouldn’t be bothering you so much.” he stood up angrily and marched off.

was he being honest? did he really want you to leave? all these years you had told yourself that he needed you with him, but maybe you had been mistaken.

you didn’t give yourself time to think. cere and greez had both made it clear that your presence on the mantis was unnecessary, and now that cal had said the same you had to go. you only packed the bare essentials: a canister of water, a couple weeks of rations, and a thick jacket for cold nights. you left through the front entrance without a word to anyone. cal simply watched you go.

a year later - cal's pov

there was no use in trying to hide it, it had been a hard year for cal. a year made much harder by your absence. he had tried to tell himself that you leaving was your decision, that it wasn't his fault. but as he played the argument over in his mind he found himself regretting everything he'd said. cal had been nervous, scared even, of the upcoming mission in the fortress. he'd let trilla and the empire get in his head, and it had cost him everything.

even after he'd retrieved the holocron - and ultimately destroyed it - he never searched for you. he didn't know why. the urge had struck him many times, but he never knew where to begin looking or what he would say to get you back.

it hurt even now, as cal lay in his bunk on the mantis weeping silently to himself. the mantis was empty, the engine humming softly as it flew through hyperspace. all the lights were out and cal's pillow was damp with tears. he hesitantly rose from his bed, staggering to the navigation panel in a sleep-deprived stupor. his cheeks are stained and his hair is tousled as he falls back into the pilot's chair, and he plugs the coordinates to a forgotten outer rim planet into the navigation system.

cal was exhausted, hungry, and mentally drained, but he managed to make it back to his bunk before he passed out.

. . .

something in the cockpit beeped quite loudly, waking cal from his sleep and alerting him that they were nearing their destination. the royal blue color of nez peron was pleasing to the eye, but brought back painful memories for cal. this was where they had made their last supply run before heading toward the fortress. this was the last place he saw the love of his life.

landing the mantis was the easy part; finding you, not so much. cal started in the sparse cities, scanning cantinas and shops, asking about a y/n l/n at every apartment complex and inn. he began to lose hope as he neared the edge of the latest city. just then he remembered you talking absentmindedly as he worked on his lightsaber, saying how it was your dream to live in the forest and live off the lands. it sounded crazy at the time, but now it made sense.

with a newfound passion, cal began searching the forests and plains for you. each dead end made him want to find you more and more, but there were no signs of life anywhere he looked.

one day, he was scanning the ground for any human tracks when a piece of fabric caught his eye. it was dusty, black, and oddly familiar. there were pieces of the same fabric just a little further up the trail he was following. up ahead, cal could just make out the shape of your thick winter coat on the ground.

his steps picked up into a light jog as he neared the jacket. as he examined it closer, he saw a dark stain had dried down on the stomach, and when he bent over to pick it up he was flooded with a powerful force echo.

_______

you had misjudged how hard life in the wild would be. the coat you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm, the water you brought only lasted for a few days, and the rations you thought would last had gone bad within the month. you were cold and hungry, and had only a pairing knife to ward off any threats in the forest. this would be a crucial mistake.

it was a particularly cold day and you were resting against a tree when you heard the crunch of leaves and the distinct mechanical whirring of an electrostaff. raiders. well, just one this time. it was a difficult feat, but you managed to ward off the raider not without sustaining many injuries. you had garnered a deep wound in your thigh and a large gash in your shoulder, luckily most of your vital organs were intact.

you hardly had time to catch your breath before a large mammal had sprung up from a ditch and pinned you to the ground. you screamed and struggled for your knife. your wounds had impaired your fighting skills, and you didn’t last long before the predator had beaten you into the floor. it was so, so cold. you must have lost your jacket at some point. you supposed the animal had lost interest, as it wandered off back into the trees, leaving you in a pool of your own blood.

the sun set behind the trees and you were still laying there, unable to move, slowly succumbing to the cold embrace of death. you could form only one coherent thought in your adrenaline crazed mind, and thus it became your last word.

“cal”

_______

the memory was like a knife to the heart for cal. he was helpless as he watched you draw your last breath, only to utter his name before closing your eyes for the final time. it finally dawned on him.

you were dead.

cal fell to his knees beside your tattered coat, a broken cry escaping his lips. it was all his fault. if’s and should’ves ran circles around his mind, but he understood the depth of this. you were gone, stolen from this world far to soon. cal mourned. he sobbed into his hands for hours on end, cursing you for leaving, cursing cere and greez for letting you leave, and cursing himself for letting his love for you blind him. of course he needed you. he always would. but he couldn’t have you any more.

his mind was blurry as he frantically followed the path he was on, searching for your body. he tripped and stumbled down a leaf covered hill, where he saw you. you were exactly as you were in the force echo, but your cheeks were hollow and your skin was sickly green. you had been dead for a long time. cal ran to your body, crying your name. he hoisted you into his arms and wept into your dirty hair.

“i love you” he muttered softly, hoping that perhaps you could hear the words he was to cowardly to speak when you were alive.

a/n 2: BYE the ending is so rushed. sorry.

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #jedi survivor #jedi fallen order #star wars #star wars x reader #angst #hurt/no comfort #i'm sad #din djarin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader

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