#devour so many books this summer<3
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i truly believe that reading a book with a cup of coffee and a soundtrack playing hazily in the background by an open window is the most healing activity
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Kamala Khan’s bookshelves
Kamala’s room in The Marvels is an absolute treasure trove of little details to zoom in on, and I’ve identified so many books on her shelves!
Shelf 1, top to bottom:
1. Landmark Experiments in Twentieth Century Physics by George L. Trigg
College-level book about experiments that helped us learn about x-rays, lasers, isotopes, superconductors, and all kinds of other things I don’t understand. Meant to be more practical than theoretical since it talks about the actual methodologies of these experiments. Could be for school, or for Kamala and Bruno to run their own tests of Kamala’s powers. The first of many books in the Khan house that come from Dover Publications.
2. Space Time Matter by Hermann Weyl
“An esoteric initiation into space time physics” -Amazon reviewer. I’m gonna be real, I don’t understand half the words in this book description, but apparently it’s famous for introducing gauge theory, which was later reborn as phase transformations in quantum theory. I can see this being something Kamala reads to try and understand the bangle transporting her to the Partition. Also from Dover.
3. A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong
A graphic novel about a high school girl’s basketball team learning to work together despite their many differences and conflicts. Also it has a gorgeous color palette. Seems fairly self explanatory why it’s in this movie. I’ll definitely be borrowing this from my library! Like my friend Kamala recommended a book to me herself.
4. The Good Immigrant anthology edited by Nikesh Shukla
21 essays from Black, Asian, and Minority Ethnic (BAME) people in the UK about their experiences. It was crowdfunded initially, extremely critically acclaimed, and has gotten spinoffs and sequels. Riz Ahmed, who is British Pakistani, is one contributor, and a fun fact is that Rish Shah (Kamran from Ms. Marvel) worked with Riz Ahmed in an Oscar winning short called The Long Goodbye. Also, the editor, Nikesh Shukla, is currently writing the Spider-Man India comics series!
5. Bright Lines by Tanwi Nandini Islam
A coming-of-age story about 3 young adults with complicated family, friend, and romantic relationships between them. They have to travel from Brooklyn to Bangladesh together one summer and thereby discover a lot about themselves. I haven’t read it, but there seems to be a ton of complex representation of LGBTQ, POC, immigrant, and Muslim characters. I wonder how much the three main characters can be compared with our three characters with complex relationships in The Marvels, and I wonder which character Kamala most relates to!
6. I can’t tell! The font is bugging the hell out of me because theoretically, with that amount of contrast, I should be able to read a word when I get two inches from the TV and mess with the settings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
7. I also can’t tell, but I’m being easier on myself because the title is written in white on a yellow background. It’s not the only book I know off the top of my head with this color scheme (Yellowface by RF Kuang) because the title is definitely multiple words. Help!
Shelf 2, right to left:
1. One Night that Changes Everything by Lauren Barnholdt
A YA romance where, through a convoluted series of events, a teenager must face all of her insecurities in one night. I can see Kamala devouring this as brain candy after wrestling with those advanced science books, or using it as fic inspiration!
2. Can’t tell, but love the color scheme!
This next one is a weird one, because I am 100% sure of what book it is, but I cannot find a picture of a matching edition.
3. Wizard at Large by Terry Brooks
It’s definitely, without a doubt, this book (where a character and a magical medallion are accidentally transported to Earth from another realm and switches places with an evil genie). Like those are the words on the spine and the plot of the book is an obvious choice for this movie. The fonts match on the audiobook, the ebook, and the next two books in the series. But try as I might, I cannot find any proof on the internet that the physical book that appears in Kamala’s room, that uses those two fonts and that spine formatting, exists. This is haunting me…
4. (On the other side of the box) It’s not The Twilight Saga Eclipse, but I definitely thought it was before I could watch in high definition. I think it’s a journal or sketchbook of Kamala’s; there are a bunch scattered throughout the room.
Shelf 3:
I’ve only identified the bottom book, which is Einstein’s Theory of Relativity by Max Born (Dover Publications). The third one up is HAUNTING me, it looks SO identifiable and yet!
Living Room Side Table:
1. Amateur Astronomer’s Handbook by JB Sidgwick (from Dover Publications)
2. Cosmology by Hermann Bondi (also Dover)
Both of these seem less difficult than the science books in Kamala’s room, but reviewers note that it helps to know calculus when reading Cosmology. Idk which member of the Khan family is reading these, but I love their family’s connection to the stars 💫
Tbh I’m having so much fun doing this! And I really wish we got to see Monica’s living space so I can analyze her books 😭
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Witchy Woman (0.5/10)
AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
LOOK AT THIS STUNNING ARTWORK BY @cocohook38
Summary: When Emma came into her position as Storybrooke Coven Leader, she ended things with the powerful Vampire Overlord, Killian Jones. She’s spent over a decade working alongside him and ignoring the growing tension between them.
During his best mate’s wedding, Killian decides he is done waiting. He is ready to have his mate back in his arms (and bed) again. Emma is not an easy woman to woo, but Killian has never backed down from a challenge.
When Emma’s jilted ex-boyfriend returns to town and Emma goes missing, Killian will stop at nothing to get her back and ensure that nothing can ever separate them again.
Rating: E
CW: Mention of domestic abuse, blood and blood drinking (vampires), threatening situations, minor violence, death, mention of parental death
Entry for Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2023 (@cssns)
Tagging: @kmomof4, @undercaffinatednightmare, @jrob64, @zaharadessert, @elfiola, @anmylica, @tiganasummertree, @stahlop, @xarandomdreamx, @teamhook
Author Notes: Some aspects of this are based on the Stay a Spell series by Juliette Cross. If you haven’t read them, the books are very fun paranormal romance novels that you can devour in a week and apparently keep thinking about them for a few years until you do a rewrite and make it your CSSNS fic. (For clarity: The storyline is new, but the relationship arc is loosely Ruben and Jules.)
I hope everyone has had an incredible Captain Swan Supernatural Summer. It has been such a treat reading everyone's amazing stories and seeing all the lovely art.
I could not have written this without the cheering and support of @kmomof4 and many other ladies on the CSMM Discord. They continue to be the most encouraging group. I am always excited to share my silly words and little sketches with them.
A massive thank you to @ultraluckycatnd for her time, patience, and feedback. Beta-ing is always hard work. Beta-ing for a self-conscious tinkerer is all the more challenging. Thank you!
A tremendous thank you to @cocohook38 for the beautiful artwork. I have always adored your work and having something drawn by you that was ‘inspired’ by my silly words is a bit of a dream come true. (I squealed with utter delight upon seeing your initial sketches the first time. AMAZING!!) Thank you! <3 <3 <3
As always, a thank you is owed to my spouse for being "volunteered" to be the alpha-reader and writing partner for this fic and for bringing so many cups of hot tea and snack plates at odd hours.
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Fifteen Years Ago…
Emma’s breath caught at the beauty of the vampire before her; the waves of his dark hair begged her to run her hands through it, his sharp jaw, framed by auburn stubble, was softened by a crooked smile that was melting her resolve. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the way just the sight of him affected her. It wouldn’t be a problem much longer.
They’d only been together for a few weeks, but Emma felt lost in the depth of the connection that she shared with Killian. He seemed to read her moods and her thoughts as naturally as breathing and she felt him as if he were an extension of her own heart and mind.
As she approached where he worked, she tucked those thoughts away.
When he looked up at her and cocked his head, eyebrow raised, she savoured the adoration and openness that she saw in his eyes. She wasn’t ready for him to stop looking at her as if she were the most incredible thing that had ever happened to him. Just rip off the band-aid, Emma.
His expression changed to one of concern as he took in her erratic heartbeat and the sour scent of stress radiating from her. “Swan?”
The gentleness of his voice and the worry in his tone made her eyes prickle. She held on tightly to the tears; she would not cry. Not yet.
“Killian, I can’t… we can’t…” Her voice was stronger than she expected, but the words tore at the depths of her soul and shattered her heart. She took a breath and stored her heart away - the burning and ripping sensation too much to bear - before she continued. “We’re done.”
“Do I get a say in this?” Killian asked. The words were mild and light as if he were asking after their supper plans, but his eyes were narrowed- gauging the situation and seeking out alternate avenues.
Emma let out a humourless laugh. “It won’t change anything. We can’t be together.”
He stared at her for a long moment, before he replied. When he did speak, his voice was broken with emotion, “One day, Emma, you will have to open your heart for someone. If ever you are done playing the coward, I hope that you will find whatever it is that I couldn’t give you. And, I truly hope that you never feel even a quarter of the pain that I feel now.”
A storm of emotions flashed in his eyes, but he quickly hid it away beneath the calm and collected demeanour he had honed over the centuries of his long life. He kissed her gently on the forehead before he vanished into the evening.
Once he was too far for her to sense, her knees buckled and the ground rushed to catch her. His warm embrace was replaced by the damp grass soaking through her jeans. As her tears fell heavily down her face, she balled up against the sobs slamming through her. She was in too many pieces scattered about too effectively to ever be whole again.
#cssns23#vampire!Killian#witch!Emma#Emma x Killian#Emma Swan#Killian Jones#Captain Swan#CS AU fanfic#CS modern AU fanfic#villainNeal#antiNeal#villainRegina#antiRegina#Mary Margaret#David Nolan#Snowing#Mary Margaret x David#OUAT Ruby#OUAT Elsa#OUAT Anna#OUAT William Smee#OUAT AU fanfic#inspired by Stay A Spell#ouat captain hook#killian x emma#cs fanfic#once upon a time#ouat#cs ff#art by cocohook38
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how did you come up with the ideas for the guardians and the devourer/genesis both representing an uroboros and their connection to lloyd
I dunno if this is really all that coherent cuz I don't entirely remember the order of my process, just the general trains of thought I was on at some points in time. And boy are they a ride regardless!
I do know that the Ouroboros thing was definitely last, and definitely the best part <3
Buckle up, this one's good, I promise!
As may not be common knowledge, the upcoming Book 3 (based on Season 2) was originally the one and only story I was planning to write for the 10th Anniversary. But as we've well seen by now, there was so much worldbuilding and lore rewriting and character work that had to be built up first, hence two entire stories that had to come before it.
And of course, in the meantime, a lot of stuff got worked around and changed and added. There wasn't even an "Elemental Compass" until after I started work on Chapter 1 for Book 2, when it occurred to me that I needed a concise foundation for how these freaking elements work, especially if I was gonna jack things up when it came to Lloyd and how to factor in the Golden Power (and, y'know, toss in a Master of Surprise).
But, what was at the heart of everything from the very beginning was the idea that the Core Four's Animal Symbols had much more significance than what the show demonstrated, and that they followed a very specific order: Zane and the Wolf represented North and Winter, Jay and the Octopus represented East and Fall, Kai and the Lion represented South and Summer, and Cole and the Gorilla represented West and Spring (hence why I made such a big deal about their birthdays in the beginning times; it's not as important now, just a fun fact snksnksn).
And the first inspiration for that came from this:
The arrangements of symbols within the Temple of Light (called the 'Temple of Life' in Legacyverse) was the one and only time the Animal Symbols were ever significantly acknowledged, and while many things about it bugged me (Jay and Cole visibly going to the wrong symbols, the fact that it wasn't the opposites lined up with each other, etc.) it was still the coolest thing to my young mind and I really wish they could've done more with the concept. But then it never got mentioned again!
So, that's basically how the "Base Compass" got started, before it was even called that.
Then I got to thinking "Well, those symbols would have had come from somewhere", and I played around with the idea of those beasts actually being out in the world or realms somewhere. The only issue was slotting them somewhere in the story proper that would make sense and wouldn't be overly intrusive.
...combine this with the issue of the dragons: having them around would make the movie!mechs be pointless, and then if they were just going to leave, fuse together, and die anyway then what would be the point of having them around at all? So I reworked the role of the dragons for s9 if we ever get there and replaced them with the Guardians instead -> still powerful otherwordly beasts that help from time to time, but not to the point that they're a quick-fix for everything.
And then when I started legitimately developing the Compass as a whole, I got the idea that, while the FSM possessed the Essences of Creation and Destruction (unified as one in the for of Neutralization, the Golden Essence), he wouldn't have had an element to his name, and that these creatures could have been the ones to tech him how to harness the Core Elements (and then into the Golden Weapons). They became his friends, and he held them in such high regard that the symbols are one way he showed his gratitude towards them, especially after convincing them to help protect his realm after the Overlord first manifested. Putting them at the four extremes of the world is how I got the idea to divide the island into Provinces as well (matched up literally like a compass).
Now, onto Lloyd.
His Guardian was initially just going to be the Dragon, big whoop, and the Dragon (Genesis, though I was calling them Epsilon back then) was just going to be related to all things Green Element, end of story close the book one and done, nothing complicated. But then the Book of Elemental Powers releases, and do you know what they had as the symbol for the Green Element?
...A SNAKE?!!?!?!? (whiiiiiiiiich is actually on the back of Lloyd's Elemental Robe prior to him becoming the Ultimate Spinijtzu Master in the show. I didn't even spot it for years, but, y'know)
Anyway, so, do you know what they then had for the Golden Power????
Oh, there's the dragon.
But it gets BETTER
Before Lloyd even taps into any kind of power at all, do you know what his very first symbol was?
Another Snake? No, even better...an Ouroboros
And when we look up the base definition of an Ouroboros?
"A circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail as an emblem of wholeness or infinity"
Key words here being: SNAKE OR DRAGON
Leading to my conclusion of, as I had Pythor so nicely phrase it:
"…but the Ouroboros is the insignia of a serpent devouring its own tail. The symbol exists as a representation that endings are beginnings and beginnings are endings. For some, it’s a symbol of hope, proving the determination that persists within all life. But it could also be a hopeless symbol, as it represents no escape from the cycle either… A new loop is always created, just as one is always destroyed in the same breath. It is life and death, both at once, at the same time…it's infinite, and yet, what makes it infinite also sabotages its own existence…"
(Infinity, you say? Something...infinite? Like....something that cannot be created or destroyed? Something unparalleled? Something...like energy???)
But also–
"The symbol for the Green Element is an Ouroboros, no matter how you look at it. And that's the kicker, isn't it: an Ouroboros is just a serpent…and a serpent can be a snake or a dragon."
Pythor stares at his crude scribble of the compass with a frown.
"…or for our purposes, perhaps it could be both. Two sides…of a single coin. Two sides of a single element."
Thusly, in conclusion— Lloyd's overall symbol, and overall Guardian, is an Ouroboros. When divided into the two aspects of his Element, a green snake represents the Green Element, and a gold dragon represents the Golden Essence. Of course, his Guardians would exist to parallel these concepts.
Conveniently, there was a Golden Dragon within the Temple of Light that Lloyd's actions led to the release of.
(it's moreso a metaphorical release but roll with me here)
Also conveniently, there was a Green Snake that Lloyd's actions led to the release of.
So, it wasn't really too hard to pinpoint how to work Lloyd's Guardian(s) into the picture, ahahaha.
They represent the two side of Life Itself—the side that Creates, the side that Destroys, and when put together, it Neutralizes...
“To create is to destroy; to destroy is to create. To do both, is to be human.”
But everything just fit so insanely well: the Ouroboros symbol itself, the snake/dragon/serpent thing, endings being new beginnings, the whole philosophy of the Green Element matching that of symbolism of an Ouroboros, the fact that all these things were just sitting there in plain sight, unnoticed by the untrained eye?!?! Do you now see why I am obsessed with the untapped potential of this green-gold child?!
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?
Aaaaaaaand tying it aaaall back into Movie!verse -> small spoilers, but I've mentioned already, Lloyd's Element is an element of connection. His strength is derived from being surrounded by others, by being surrounded by life, and supported by others connections with him. It's why he requires a connection with the Core Four to unlock his True Potential (whatever that may mean <3).
"Green is the color of life. It flows through all living things... connecting them all. The way I connect the ninjas."
AND THE WAY YOU CONNECT THE ELEMENTS, KID.
#ninjago#the lego ninjago movie#tlnm#lloyd garmadon#legacyverse#the ninja legacy whip#legacy spoilers#info tag#long post#elemental compendium
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tauria!! 9, 14, 21, 74, 80, 84, 104, 122 from the book rec ask game please <33
ahhh thank you maya!
9. your favourite book of 2020
ahh, i'm actually going to answer this for---last year, because i remember it and also bc i hit my reading goal last year!!
so my actual answer would be nona the ninth, but as i have already rec'd gideon to bean and mentioned harrow in this list, i shan't count it.
s o.
i think i'm gonna go with The Midnight Lie by Marie Rutkoski, which is part one of a duology. the first is a retelling of cinderella, the second of sleeping beauty.
the first, to me, was much more enjoyable than the second, although i deeply enjoyed both. the first is singular pov, the second is split (i liked the LI's more!)
the book takes place on an island which is segregated into three classes / rings, each of which enjoys a vastly different quality of life than the other. the protagonist lives in the lowest class, where, if you're charged with a crime, no matter the severity, the guards can take any tribute they ask---from a few strands of hair to some blood to an eye, etc. she works with her guardian to help sneak people out of the lower ring and into the upper rings, and has always yearned for a taste of them hersellf. after spending a night in prison, she meets an outsider--the first on the island in many years--who helps her achieve just that.
also the plot twist in this book is. amazing.
14. a book that made you trip on literary acid
like. in the most positive way possible.
Harrow the Ninth.
look. i wasn't going to rec sequels. i wasn't.
but oh my god.
i walked away from this book with a headache and i said thank you ms. muir <3
(runner up answer would be the stars are legion, bc. oof. that book was a mind-fuck. again? best way possible. but also. damn.)
21. a book with a red cover
literally the first book that came to mind was Eldest, of the Inheritance Cycle.
(i was going to answer with "witches of ash & ruin by e. latimer" but my kindle cover is now blue -.- and uglier, imo. whatever.)
but, uh. The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett!! i started the discworld series with the tiffany aching series, and i highly recommend <3 the nac mac feegles make me giggle so much <3
also i deeply love tiffany and all of the things that pterry conveys through her <3
74. your favourite love triangle
i didn’t forget to answer this before i clicked post wdym
this is hard!!! ngl i actively avoid love triangles in books after being so inundated with them during some of my peak reading years lmao
ahhh but
i actually didn’t mind how the love triangle was handled in the early throne of glass books!
i don’t necessarily recommend those but i was. obsessed with them for a time xD
80. a book that reminds you of a loved one
i technically answered this on bean's! that would be "a girl of the limberlost" or "the secret garden" bc they both remind me of my mom.
also almost any murder mystery will remind me of her, as those were her favorite genre.
u h m. but to name a different book; i think of my brother every time i see a riordanverse book, particularly the Percy Jackson <3 i let him borrow my copies (i've. mostly forgiven him for their now beat up / falling apart state) and watching him develop his first otp / devour them was so sweet <3
104. a fluffy, sweet read
so i didn't technically rec it on bean's list, i just mentioned it.
Legends And Lattes - Travis Baldree! cozy, slice of life fantasy with a sapphic romance. an orc retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop in a city that's never heard of coffee. (its a gnomish thing.) has a lot of dnd-like setting things and so much found family <3
also it made me hungry, so like. have ur favorite warm drink & pastries on hand when you read it bc you may also end up wanting them <3
122. your favourite winter read
hmmm.
okay so first! um. when i think winter / autumn / summer / spring read i don't necessarily think about season in the book itself, but rather like... how i feel during those seasons. so! autumnal reads i prefer spookier vibes; summer i want lighter books i don't have to focus too much on bc the heat has melted my brain; and for winter i want books that are good for spending a long time under blankets, so. chunkier the better. (i don't know what a spring read is to me.)
i am going to answer this one with two books!
the first i have not actually read -- The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, which is a fucking beast of a book. i am... about 20%? through it? i think? but i had to put it down bc i couldn't give it the full attention it deserved. however, i think, due to its size, it would be a lovely book to devour over a handful of snowy days, curled up in blankets <33
the second i have read, and i actually wouldn't call this one chunky, but. i dunno. it's made for a nice evening read, i think. anyway! The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A McKilip.
[ book rec ask game ]
#i won't rec the locked tomb on every list of questions i get i promise#(fingers crossed im not lying)#ask gaming#livvyreads#waffleinator-inator#thank u for asking~~
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Hellloooo there! 💖💖💖 I come bearing questions for both Jia and Miraak, my beloveds!
3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?
7. favorite animal? why?
9. favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?
11. what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?
17. how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?
19. are they quick to anger? what sets them off?
24. do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)
🧡ask game🧡
OUAARGH SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR THE BLORBOS...😭🥺 Thank you so so so much, my friend, both Jia and Miraak kiss you and love you! 🥰
3. That's actually a very interesting question and something I look forward to writing in TPATD! First off, Jia is a spellsword, so she mostly uses a conjured sword, bow, or dagger—she likes being light on her feet, so she doesn't carry too much weight on her. Miraak, on the other hand, is a battlemage so he also relies on his magic as well as blunt and blade weapons. BUT! At some point in their story, two specific weapons will be their absolute signature weapons... For Miraak that will be the Staff of Magnus and for Jia Auriel's Shield; they'll both have SUCH badass moments while utilizing their powers... Let's say that these weapons kind of chose their owners! 👀
7. Oh, that's a difficult one because they're both so in love with nature it's challenging to pick just one! I'd say for Jia every kind of bird—swallows, sparrows, ravens, owls, falcons, hummingbirds, skylarks, starlings, wrens, you name it! If it's feathered and winged, she loves it! For Miraak, I believe he would eventually end up choosing sea mammals. After all, growing up in Jylkurfyk and having the Sea of Ghost's cetacean awe before his very eyes, it's only natural!
9. Picky eaters??? Dietary restrictions??? Hell no, these two dragons can eat literally everything. Jia has a huge sweet tooth, so anything that has sugar in it, she'll devour it—her favorites are either snowberry crostata or lavender dumplings! And Miraak—while he likes sweets like her, he's more inclined to the savory food. He favors salty and spicy meals, so put every herb inside his broth and he'll purr like a content cat.
11. Hmm... I'd said before that Jia is my self-insert in many things. I believe that her anxiety, her dangerous balance between confidence and insecurity, and her avoidance are some of our shared negatives. Her loyalty, her selflessness, her need to nurture and protect her loved ones, and her love for the world, are our shared positives. I'm not as courageous and resourceful as her, and she's not as jolly and humorous as I am, so I only hope we take more traits from one another! As for Miraak... He's written as both my idealized man as well as the male version of myself—again, his love for nature and arts, aka his inclination to music and poetry, his general awkwardness, and his cringey social attitude are definitely my vibes. I'd get along very well with both of them, really. I don't know if they'd like me though. I'd invade their personal space with frequent hugs.
17. I want you to make the mental pictures: imagine a little Jia escaping the Companions' training sessions, and either carrying a pile of books taller than her, sitting in Jorrvaskr's garden and trying to read under the sun (even though she couldn't yet, those books were her father's and were written in Old Cyrodilic), or plucking every single alchemy ingredient she could find around, shoving it into her mouth and having Skjor and Kodlak scold her. And then, in some parallel universe, imagine a little Miraak with his bare feet and dirty, threadbare clothes escaping his father's exhausting chores, and either singing around Jylkurfyk, helping his mother heal the ill, or getting taught magic by her, when she had free time...🥰
19. I think I've described this before, but yes, Jia is very quick to anger and she has no patience whatsoever. Her anger ignites like wildfire, and it's a very difficult feat to calm herself from her wrath. That's one of her greatest weaknesses as she becomes uncontrollable and lethal, nearly losing her sanity... Miraak, on the other hand, keeps his cool in his anger. In contrast with Jia's, his is like ice spears—precise, but no less deadly than her firestorm. It's this juxtaposition I have set on them, of ice and fire, both different but destructive in their own way.
24. Jia is certainly less artistic than Miraak but... is gardening considered a creative hobby? 🤔 If yes, she can spend many many hours in her garden, tending her plants and vegetables, planting, watering, weeding, fertilizing, pruning, and harvesting to promote the growth and health of her cultivations. If baking, alchemy experimenting, studying, and making little diaries of useful bits of information and facts are considered creative hobbies I'm also adding those. Miraak is a bit more creative, art-wise. He sings and psalms a lot when no one's listening (except Jia), he writes poems to her like the sappy man he is, and he sews with Alteration Magic so his magic needles are always enchanted and his clothes always shimmer with magicka. 🥰
#ough that came out big#i loved these questions tho!#miraak#oc: jia#otp: twin flames#the priest and the dragoness#skyrim#skyrim fanfiction#skyrim ocs
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tagged by @winedark a while back to do this! thank you, saff. a lot of this is under the cut because i am incapable of not yapping.
tagging: @dragonologist-phd ; @bearvanhelsing ; @waterdeep ; @kirkwall ; @thanekrios and @yennefre since i know all of you read <3
1. the last book I read:
i just finished reading dungeon meshi vol.5 literally last night. i can't say it was my favourite of the volumes so far, but they're easy to read and i definitely appreciate that .
2. a book I recommend:
i am always going to be recommending carmilla by joseph sheridan la fanu, particularly the edition edited by carmen maria machado, and the bloody chamber and other stories by angela carter. both of them are very formative, inspirational works for me as a writer.
3. a book that I couldn’t put down:
mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia. i devoured it on release in one sitting and i think of it fondly. another one is annhilation by jeff vandermeer from pure "what the fuck is going on?" energy.
4. a book that I’ve read twice (or more):
this is how you lose the time war by amar el-mohtar and max gladstone. i think this benefits from a reread, to be honest. and i highly, highly recommend the audiobook for as well.
5. a book on my TBR:
i've got so many on my tbr that it's sort of embarrassing, but for now let's go with the vampires of el norte by isabel canas (i adored the hacienda by the same author); chapter house dune by frank herbert (and oh my god, i'm determined to complete the six book series this year); and ring shout by p. djéli clark.
6. a book I’ve put down:
i often put down books with the intent of picking them up later for one reason or another (e.g. the vibes aren't quite right), but i distinctly remember having to put down god-emperor of dune by frank herbert and later restart it because holy hell i was not able to get through it on the first attempt.
7. a book on my wish list:
i have a huge wish list, but i think top of the list is silvia moreno garcia's new book the seventh veil of salome which is out this summer, i think. i love garcia's books - they're usually a tight 300-350 pages, and all standalones. i'm very interested to see what she does with this golden era of hollywood setting.
8. a favourite book from childhood:
i was a massive jacqueline wilson fan as a kid (and i think a lot of british girls around my age in particular really enjoyed her?) and my sister jodie really did hit where it hurts when you're a 10-11 year old. i also have to give a massive shout out to the edge chronicles by paul stewart & chris riddell, especially the quint and twig trilogies, because i read and reread those constantly as a kid; and of course, a series of unfortunate events by lemony snicket, which is about as formative as it got for me.
9. a book you would give to a friend:
hilariously i've sold a friend on dune by saying "i wouldn't recommend this to my enemy, but i'd recommend it to my best friend" and he bought it. but he also loves sci-fi and enjoys warhammer, so it wasn't exactly hard to sell it to him. i've also recommended carmilla, mexican gothic and annihilation a lot.
10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:
i don't own any poetry beyond a compendium of edna st. vincent millay's poetry from when i did my masters and we looked at her poetry in my american modernism class, and some of edgar allen poe's stuff. i really want to pick up some sappho though - it's just a case of finding a good translation.
11. a nonfiction book you own:
i don't own many non-fiction books, but i have from here to eternity: travelling the world to find the good death by caitlin doughty aka askamortician. ever since i started working in my job, i've found myself curious about other cultures' funerary practices.
12. what are you currently reading:
i'm back to reading heretics of dune by frank herbert (dune #5) after taking a break from it, and i also have an audiobook going for work, which is a full cast production of the war of the worlds by h.g. wells which includes aspects of jeff wayne's iconic songbook too.
13. what are you planning on reading next:
i'm thinking once i'm done with heretics, i'm either gonna go for vol. 6 of dungeon meshi as a palette cleanser or pick up either the bone season by samantha shannon (author's preferred text edition, which came out last year on its 10th aanniversary), hummingbird salamander by jeff vandermeer or letter to the luminous deep by sylvie cathrall (which daisy is telling me to read.) audiobook wise i'll probably go with the heart of the sun warrior by sue lynn tann since i listened to daughter of the moon goddess during april to early may and enjoyed it enough to grab the second book.
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I managed to exceed my goal again and read 27 books this year!
This is kind of like a diary post, but if you’re curious what I liked and disliked there’s a lot more detail below the Read More.
The books are also in list form at the bottom.
Book count
3 of these books were started in 2022, so 24 were started and completed entirely within 2023. My goal was 16, so I’m still quite happy with this. The only re-read for me this year was Frankenstein, which I read in high school, so 26 books were new to me.
I completed 25 traditional books and 2 graphic novels – My Pretty Vampire by Katie Skelly and the Azumanga Daioh complete omnibus by Kiyohiko Azuma. I decided to just include these in the overall book count, especially because of how long the Azumanga Daioh omnibus is. That should maybe even count as several books! I loved Azumanga Daioh (now I want to re-watch the anime), and I thought My Pretty Vampire was just okay.
Genres and moods
I was surprised to see how many classics I read this year (9, according to StoryGraph). Though I think StoryGraph is questionable with its categorizations of some books (is The Summer Book really a classic?), even ignoring those, I still think this amount is higher than normal for me. I didn’t intend to read this many classics, it mostly just happened on accident, so I don’t expect there will be as many next year. Many of these were actually read with my partner while washing dishes (we read to each other, alternating each night who reads and who washes). –Side note: I can’t recommend this strategy enough if you have someone you can do it with. You’ll read so much more! We completed 5 books (and about ¼ of another) using this strategy, several of which were pretty long.– Frankenstein, Dracula, and Moby Dick, for example, are all classics which were read while washing dishes, and all three were some of my most enjoyable reading experiences this year. Even though I didn’t particularly like Frankenstein, the process of reading it with someone else and commenting on, riffing on, and sharing our thoughts on it with each other made it really fun. Other notable classics I read include The Glass Menagerie and The Picture of Dorian Gray.
Tied for my most-read genre is science fiction, also with 9 books. This isn’t a surprise because it’s my favorite genre and was by far my most-read genre last year. Most of my favorite books this year were sci-fi (more on those later), but there were also some misses, including Terraform: Watch/Worlds/Burn (which had a cool premise that unfortunately fell short, and very inconsistent quality between its short stories) and Roadside Picnic (classic sci-fi fans, don’t come for me, but I kind of hated this).
Last year 30% of the books I read were non-fiction, but this year I only read 11% non-fiction. Both of these values are unintentional. Last year I said I’d like to keep up my pace with non-fiction, but I didn’t make an effort to and didn’t actively think about this while choosing books to read this year. However, now that I’m at the end of 2023 I sort of wish I had read more non-fiction. It’ll be one of my goals for 2024.
StoryGraph’s mood categorizations are kind of odd, and I never really know what to do with this information, but compared to last year I apparently read many more “dark” books and a lot fewer “informative” books (obviously just code for “non-fiction”). “Reflective”, “adventurous”, and “challenging” show up a lot again this year.
Favorites
I rated three books 5 stars this year: Parable of the Sower, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo. My favorite books this year (I think of this differently than 5-star books) were (in order of completion): The Left Hand of Darkness, Parable of the Sower, Binti: The Complete Trilogy, Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo, Moby Dick, and The Devourers. Thoughts on each below:
Parable of the Sower is my first Octavia E. Butler book and it exceeded my high expectations. It’s incredibly dark (please check trigger warnings if you want to read it) and yet it’s somehow incredibly hopeful. I think this book is a really great example of what cli-fi should be. Climate change is effective as part of the setting rather as the main focus of the plot (I’m wary to read some other cli-fi books that I think could be too heavy handed, like Kim Stanley Robinson’s Ministry for the Future – being in this field myself, I think I’m more picky about these things). I appreciate that Butler focuses just as much on issues like social inequality, corporate greed, and labor. These are all interconnected, and connected to climate change as well, and I feel like I haven’t seen anyone else so effectively weave together all of these issues in a novel. It’s feels incredibly real, which makes it all the more chilling. I can’t wait to read the sequel and find out where Earthseed and Acorn evolve from here, and I’m honestly heartbroken that this series was never completed. I’m ready to read everything Butler has ever written though.
The Left Hand of Darkness is my first by Ursula K. Le Guin, and just like with Butler, I’m ready to read her entire bibliography! Remarkably forward-thinking for its time in how it views gender, it’s slightly less groundbreaking now (sometimes a little outdated even), but for 1969 this is revolutionary – just pretend the Gethenians use they/them pronouns. I’m also obsessed with the way this was written like an anthropological text; perhaps not surprising given who Le Guin’s parents were. The worldbuilding is so interesting (almost as good as Dune), and I can’t wait to read more of the Hainish cycle books.
I knew I would like Binti: The Complete Trilogy by Nnedi Okorafor, which I picked up after enjoying Noor so much last year. Like with the previous two authors mentioned, I’m planning to read everything by Okorafor. This one reads a little more YA-like than Noor, but I think the themes are a little more mature than YA books typically tackle. Binti really adeptly grapples with themes of trauma and grief, and I really enjoyed seeing how this played out, especially between the characters of Binti and Okwu. Okorafor is another master worldbuilder, and I can’t get enough of her extremely vivid settings, which feel as alive as the characters. I’m excited to read more books by Okorafor featuring strong yet flawed female protagonists.
The Devourers by Indra Das is a book I went into completely blind. I can’t even remember where I heard about this one. But I’m so glad I picked it up. Definitely not for anyone squeamish – there’s a lot of, uh… bodily fluids (among other things, including cannibalism and assault – definitely check trigger warnings before reading). I think the author might have a thing for piss. But all that aside, this book was amazing. It felt like a historical epic, carrying a single storyline flawlessly from roughly the mid-1600s to present-day India. I couldn’t put it down. This was definitely the most well-researched fiction book I read this year. Das’s writing style is so beautiful, as is the story itself, which explores what it means to be human. It sounds corny but I promise it’s not! Looking forward to reading more by Das.
I picked up Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera before visiting Mexico City this year. This was such a good decision. Herrera’s biography is so well researched, and I’m amazed by how many people who were close to Kahlo she was able to interview for this book. It paints such a complete picture of Frida’s life and how it influenced her art. It’s so thorough; this book will practically make anyone who reads it into a Kahlo scholar (I will now be insufferable to anyone who goes to a Kahlo exhibit or museum with me). It really enhanced my visit to Mexico City as well; I feel like I had a much greater appreciation of and better context for her artwork that I saw in CDMX (as well as Diego Rivera’s), her and Rivera’s homes, Trotsky’s home, and even various sites around the city not directly connected to them. Since reading this book I was able to visit MoMA in NYC and see three more Kahlo paintings, including “Self-Portrait with Cropped Hair”, which literally made me cry. If you want to learn more about Frida Kahlo, this is the book to read.
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville took me by surprise. I think the experience was enhanced by reading this aloud with my partner, and there’s no way I would have ever read it otherwise. We had joked about reading Moby-Dick and somehow that joke ended up actually happening. I was shocked by how funny this book is at times. Not to mention the unintentional (or maybe mostly intentional) homoeroticism. One minute I would be laughing at the quote “Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me” and the next I would find myself genuinely enthralled by the storytelling, which I think deserves even more credit given the fact that we all know what happens at the end. Obviously it’s not perfect. It’s a product of the 19th century. It’s racist at times. It’s long. I completely see why people don’t read this in 2023, but I think more people should give it a chance.
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones wasn’t my very favorite book of the year (because it's aimed at kids I think), but I still loved it – and I think it’s technically perfect, hence the 5 stars. If you love the Miyazaki movie, don’t go in expecting it to be the same, but do still read it. I think it’s even better than the movie, which I believe is the popular consensus among people who have read it, and which I think says a lot!
Least favorites
My least favorite books this year were (in order of completion): Roadside Picnic, Before the Coffee Gets Cold, and Convenience Store Woman. More thoughts below:
Roadside Picnic by Boris and Arkady Strugatsky was a big disappointment for me. I think the concept of a “roadside picnic” as it’s presented in the book by Dr. Pilman (aliens have visited earth, but only for an inconsequential stop-off, a “roadside picnic”, leaving behind what’s essentially their trash, but which is nonetheless lifechanging and incomprehensible to earthlings) is fascinating, and has so much potential. This just didn’t meet that potential for me. My biggest struggle with enjoying classic sci-fi books is the pervasive misogyny, which was definitely present here. The ending is also a bit disappointing – and abrupt. I didn’t enjoy the film (Stalker) either, but I think it does a better job getting across what I think the authors were attempting to say.
Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi has a fun, light sci-fi concept, which drew me in. The setting in a coffee shop also sounded like it might be cozy and fun. It was not fun. I wish I had done a little more research before reading this book because I hated it. The characters are boring and one-dimensional. The stories are overly sentimental and saccharine. And worst of all, I think this book is deeply misogynistic. I felt crazy after reading this because I hadn’t heard anyone else make this complaint, so I searched the internet and found someone who feels the same way and summarized it really well – here’s her blog post about it. The worst is the last story in this collection, which comes off as deeply anti-abortion and equates a woman’s happiness with giving birth (even if it literally costs her life). What the fuck do people see in this?
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata was another translated Japanese novel that was a dud for me. I want to give Murata another chance, so I still plan to read Earthlings, but she’s kind of on thin ice right now. I expected this to be an anti-work book about how it’s fine to not be career-driven, and it sort of was at times, but I feel like Murata got off track as soon as she introduced a character who is a literal incel and put him in a fake-dating situation with the protagonist. This was insufferable. There was also potential here to say something interesting about how a character who is clearly both asexual and autistic fits into a society that values marriage, reproduction, productivity, and adherence to the norm, but Murata fumbles saying anything meaningful about all of this, and verges on coming across as infantilizing and othering the main character for these characteristics.
Reading goals
Last year I identified 6 books that I hoped to read in 2023 (Convenience Store Woman, Terraform: Watch/Worlds/Burn, Before the Coffee Gets Cold, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Binti, and Roadside Picnic) and, to my surprise, I actually read all of them except for One Hundred Years of Solitude. Interestingly, only one of these books (Binti) was a favorite, and 3 of them were my least favorite books of the year. I guess it goes to show that the books I think I’m going to like don’t always end up working out for me (a good reminder for me to not buy books new if I’m not sure I’ll love them! Luckily I mainly read library books or buy used).
Here are my reading goals for 2024:
Read at least 22 books – higher than my goal for this year, but fewer than I actually ended up reading this year so it’s not too much pressure
Read more non-fiction
Read One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez, Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir, Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis, at least one more Octavia E. Butler book, and at least one more Ursula K. Le Guin book
If you actually read this whole post, thanks for listening to my ramblings! I'd love to hear what your favorite books of 2023 were, or if you agree or disagree with any of my book opinions.
My list of books for 2023
All the books I read in 2023 (in order of date finished):
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin*
Roadside Picnic by Boris and Arkady Strugatsky
Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi
Labyrinths: Selected Stories and Other Writings by Jorge Luis Borges*
Thrawn: Alliances (Thrawn #2) by Timothy Zahn
Life in the Universe: A Beginner’s Guide by Lewis Dartnell
Star Wars: From the Adventures of Luke Skywalker by George Lucas Alan Dean Foster
Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus by Kiyohiko Azuma*
Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
Binti: The Complete Trilogy (Binti #1–3) by Nnedi Okorafor
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
The Summer Book by Tove Jansson
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Frida: The Biography of Frida Kahlo by Hayden Herrera
Thrawn: Treason (Thrawn #3) by Timothy Zahn
My Pretty Vampire by Katie Skelly
Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
Moby-Dick: Or, the Whale by Herman Melville
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
The Fervor by Alma Katsu
The Devourers by Indra Das
The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams
The Broken Spears: The Aztec Account of the Conquest of Mexico by Miguel León-Portilla
Terraform: Watch/Worlds/Burn edited by Claire L Evans and Brian Merchant
Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi by [too many authors to list]**
*started reading in 2022
**still reading; not counted towards the number of books read in 2023
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Shadow and Bone will always mean so much to me because I had only vaguely heard of the books before the show came out. Then I watched the first season the weekend it was released and instantly fell in love with these stories and characters, especially the crows. I devoured all the Grishaverse books that summer and Six of Crows immediately became one of my favorite book series. Say what you will about the show, but it was an entry-point for me and so many into this world. I hadn’t been that passionate about a book series for so long. Thank you to the cast and creators of this show because it introduced me to Leigh’s incredible writing and brought to life one of my favorite fantasy worlds <3
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do you know what i miss. the summer reading challenge at my local library </3 they used to give us scratch and sniff stickers and there was always a different theme and if you completed it you could rent a dvd from the library for free or have a swimming voucher at the leisure centre!!!! and it was the most exciting thing ever and i want that feeling back of being like 9 and just devouring library books and staying up past my bedtime reading pretending i don't realise the time and having to carry a big backpack to the library with us every saturday because we borrowed so many books at once and my dad buying us a pastry from greggs on the way home as a treat i miss that part of my life so very much
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hi babe!! 3, 4, and 10 for the book asks please! we are holding hand in airport drama hand rn <3
hello hi!! airport drama oh my god so much airport drama. i got delayed for a THIRD time but i'm finally finally back home with my family for the holidays! i hope yr travels were safe and kinder to you than mine were xx
what were your top five books of the year?
rough question i had so many favorites this year (bc i am easily beguiled) but:
5. east of eden by john steinbeck. i've got to preface that i do not read big books... storygraph tells me that only about 5% of the books i read are 500+ pages but east of eden was just made of something else. i think i finished it in a week and the only review i have in my notes is "uhhhhhhhh um (affectionate)"
4. if beale street could talk by james baldwin! so lovely.. big fan of tragedies that refuse tragedy. the love is ongoing if you even care
3. franny and zooey by j.d. salinger. "i'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody" !!! and im blanking on the line but zooey also makes a passing remark that he got ran over by a car on three separate occasions which is why he can never trust a non-native new yorker bc they just wouldn't get it. i find him ridiculously charming
2. the color purple by alice walker. insane novel. "religious! rapturous! cathartic!" is what i put down in my notes when i finished it
1. the raven cycle series... it was so fun. it made me giggle and blush and cover my face
did you discover any new authors that you love this year?
james baldwin! i read (and reread) his short story sonny's blues a year or so back but i never read any of his novels. this summer though i devoured giovanni's room, if beale street could talk, go tell it on the mountain, and his essay collection the fire next time. i think he's brilliant
what was your favorite new release of the year?
the five wounds by kristin valdez quade was very good! i had no idea what it was abt going into it but highly rec to those interested in what qualifies as redemption (and also delicious family drama)
honorary mention to i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy too
#i was momentarily scared i would not be able to talk about the books i've read but i shouldn't have worried#nothing can stop me from talking . i love to do it#anyway! mads i really do hope ur airport drama is all resolved!! the reason we are hand in airport drama hand is bc i am dragging you out#of the airport drama and into a world where we can put two fingers to the sides of our temples and squinch our eyes closed so tight and#fast travel to our desired destination#asks#reading#mads tag
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june reading wrap-up
The Sword of Summer- Rick Riordan- 2/6/23- 9/10
I think this is my favourite Riordanverse series. Maximum found family.
How To Be A Pirate- Cressida Cowell- 2/6/23- 9/10
Funny as always. I love sea monsters.
Shakespeare Our Contemporary- Jan Kott- 3/6/23- 8/10
This made me think about Shakespeare in new and interesting ways. It was also one of the most accessible academic texts I've ever read.
We Won't Be Here Tomorrow- Margaret Killjoy- 9/6/23- 10/10
I don't normally enjoy short story collections but I loved this. Every single story was so emotional and exciting and original, and I felt like I devoured the whole collection.
Ship of Destiny- Robin Hobb- 12/6/23- 8/10
Fantasy done well.
The Sandman vol. 9- Neil Gaiman- 14/6/23- 8/10
Good as always.
Across the Green Grass Fields- Seanan McGuire- 15/6/23- 9/10
I didn't enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed others in the series, but it was still really good.
How to Speak Dragonese- Cressida Cowell- 15/6/23- 9/10
Everything is starting to fall into place. I can feel the series finding its feet.
The Hammer of Thor- Rick Riordan- 17/6/23- 10/10
Very fun. Very queer. Very heartwarming.
The Burning Bridge- John Flanagan- 20/6/23- 10/10
I could feel my heart being wrenched out of my chest.
A Day of Fallen Night- Samantha Shannon- 29/6/23- 10/10
Samantha Shannon has somehow gotten better. Excellent worldbuilding, many dragons, gay.
The Iliad- Homer- 30/6/23- 5/10
Eh.
How To Cheat A Dragon's Curse- Cressida Cowell- 10/10
Possibly my favourite book in the whole series. Top-notch friendship and a literal food fight, what's not to love?
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Read List of 2022
To all the Cryptids and Humanoids of the World--
I come to you with my tail between my legs.
With the dawn on January, I told myself that I would use this blog throughout the year to better catalogue my thoughts on what I read. My Goodreads account was only a month old and I’ve never been comfortable or crazy about the layout of that website. But as all New Years Resolutions do, my reading blog fell to the way side.
So, I come to you in December, mere days before the New Year, with a list of gorgeous, heart-breaking, clever, and truly life-changing novels.
Last time around, I read 19 books. This year, I read 22. As a younger person I was always hell-bent on expanding that number each year but 2022 was an entirely unique beast. For me, this was the first trip around the sun since the pandemic began that felt like a real year, complete with the same amount of work, heartbreak, pain, and joy. I had to reconcile that I wasn’t going to hit my goal of 50 books (because I read 48 in 2020. What else were we doing in quarantine).
However small this list may seem, I was enchanted. From this collection of Read Books I’ve latched onto some of my all-time favorites. I laughed, fought goosebumps, wept, and was forever changed by many of the heavy hitters on this list. All in all, I’d consider that a success.
Just like last time, I have included the genre of each novel as well as a 1 out of 5 star rating. They are listed in no particular order.
Happy New Year and Happy Reading!
1. What Just Happened: Notes on a Long Year, by Charles Finch : Memoir : 4 out of 5 stars
Starting my year with a memoir that is, at is root, journals kept by the author during the pandemic, was not a wise choice. Battling seasonal depression all while living through act three of the very same pandemic that is examined in this book was difficult, to say the least. Nevertheless, I was still incredibly moved by the perspectives immortalized here. Finch made me laugh more times than I can count and cry until I was hollow, but he didn’t leave me that way. Mostly, I walked away from this book with hope. It’s gorgeous and forty years down the line, children will be reading it in schools, remembering those who were lost.
2. Tin Man, by Sarah Winman : Romance, Slice of Life : 5 out of 5 stars
This book absolutely destroyed me. Sad LGBTQIA+ romance is my favorite genre, and Tin Man has to top the list of books I’ve read no only in that category, but overall. My dear friend Lisa sent me a copy in late January, and I devoured the entire thing in a matter of hours. It’s gorgeous. The story between the two main lovers and their journey from childhood friends, through their torrid love affair in the summer of 1960, to their vicious breakup and the subsequent marriage of the main character to a girl they both knew from school and, finally, the deep, unconditional friendship between the three of them that surpasses grief, loss, death, and heartbreak--this novel is everything, EVERYTHING, to me. Read it.
3. What It Means When a Man Falls from the Sky, by Lesley Nineka Arimah : Short Story Anthology, Slice of Life : 3.5 out of 5 stars
Gorgeous prose and breathtaking African Mythology wrapped in a cloak of familial expectations that the author ultimately sheds to take flight into her own becoming. So great, so powerful, amazing.
4. Diary of an Oxygen Thief, by Anonymous : Slice of Life : 1.5 out of 5 stars
This was one of my least favorite books this year. Imagine Holden Caufield with a college degree and more money than he knows what to do with. In my opinion, there’s room for one Holden Caufield in literature. It was incredibly repetitive and I lost interest pretty early on.
5. At Swim, Two Boys, by Jamie O’Neill : Romance, Historical Fiction : 3 out of 5 stars
HEARTBREAKING. Two childhood friends in Ireland at the height of the first World War fall in love and decide to swim the English Channel before the draft tears them apart. The vernacular explored in this novel made it hard for me to get into at first but once I did, it ruined me. Go read it!
6. The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek, by Rett and Link : Horror : 2.5 out of 5 stars
This one was a blast, exploring the whimsy of childhood and what happens when corrupt adults expect children to grow up too fast. Children deserve to have their angst and their pain. I wasn’t expecting such a good read for the GMM boys but here we are!
7. Filth, by Irvine Welsh : Slice of Life : 2 out of 5 stars
Horrifying. A disgusting cop abuses his power, his wife, and himself. This was another one that took me a while to orient to, but it was fun. More than a couple of scenes still make me sick to my stomach.
8. Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut : Fiction : 4.5 out of 5 stars
Ah, the adventures of Kilgore Trout. Breakfast of Champions was first book my friend Jarin had me read for our book club and is often described as a must on the debate of Free Will. I loved this one so much. Vonnegut was one that we read in school, specifically Slaughterhouse Five, and he’s a classic American Existentialist writer who asks his audience to examine the world through the lens of people who are already insane or who are on their way. It was very enjoyable, and incredibly moving.
9. Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card : 4.5 out of 5 stars
Another book Jarin had me read. I’m much more of a Science Fiction person, and this classic dystopian novel combined all the things I love; corrupt institutions, hyper-intelligent children saving the world, and a morally gray antagonist. A true American Classic that paved the way for series like The Hunger Games.
10. Stay and Fight, by Madeline Finch : Slice of Life, LGBTQ+ : 5 out of 5 stars
At its root, this book is about community, compassion, and survival. Two lesbians and a recently single woman decide to build a house together and live off the land. When the women decide to raise a child together, they must determine if it’s more important to live off the land, or keep their family afloat. SO good, I read this by flashlight during my two-week excursion in Yellowstone and it was the perfect read. I cried, I laughed, I was permanently changed.
11. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, by Fannie Flagg : Romance, Slice of Life, LGBTQ+ : 3.5 out of 5 stars
A CLASSIC. Anyone who was a child of the 1990s knows the film and I had never read the book so this year, Jarin and I read it together for book club. It says so much about womanhood, right and wrong, and what it means to be young. I love this book so much.
12. Gone to See the River Man, by Kristopher Triana : Horror, Splatter Punk : 4.5 out of 5 stars
This book is perhaps the most disturbing thing I read all year. A woman ventures into the woods with her sister in search of the River Man, who is known to grant wishes. If you’re looking for a fast paced, fucked up, nightmare-inducing adventure, Gone to See the River Man, might be the one for you!
13. Counting by 7′s, by Holly Goldberg Sloan : Slice of Life : 2.5 out of 5 stars
A young, autistic girl loses her parents and must find a new home. know this book is beloved by many people, but it was hard to get through for me. Maybe it’s because the protagonists story is too close to my own. But it was lovely writing.
14. A Certain Hunger, by Chelsea Summers : Horror : 1.5 out of 5 stars
Book club read! A world renowned food critic starts killing and eating men. I hated this book (oops!). Jarin and I read it for book club and something about the writing was so bland and one note. The main character, Dorothy, was evil for the sake of being evil and there was nothing interesting about her that compelled me to continue reading. Disappointing because this novel was incredibly popular this year.
15. The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson : Horror : 4.5 out of 5 stars
A woman is invited to the infamous Hill House to aid in an experiment that aims to prove the existence of ghosts and slowly loses her mind in the process. ANOTHER CLASSIC! I absolutely love Jackson’s writing. The way she was able to craft such a truly chilling tale that provides no real answers or conclusion, that absolutely leaves the reader feeling like they’ve just walked off the edge of a cliff, is so masterful. Her other classic, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, is one I read a few years ago and I still think about it.
16. Any Man, by Amber Tamblyn : Horror : 4.5 out of 5 stars
Six men from six distinct walks of life all encounter the same rapist and have the course of their lives altered forever. GORGEOUS. It’s told in various mediums from texts, to instant messages, poetry, stream of consciousness, and journal entries. I’m not usually one to love that method of storytelling, but it just WORKS here. Any Man is another one that I read in a matter of hours. So, so good.
17. Theme Music, by T. Marie Vandelly : Horror : 3.5 out of 5 stars
A woman returns to the home where, twenty years earlies, her father murdered her entire family on Thanksgiving morning. This was so camp. Hilarious, dark, and witty, fans of Scream will enjoy this. Such a fun time.
18. Bettyville, by George Hodgman : Memoir : 2.5 out of 5 stars
A gay man returns home to take care of his mother, who is in the final stages of her battle with dementia. Heartbreaking, a true testament to the relationships people have with one another and all the promises they can’t keep.
19. Loveless, by Alice Oseman : Romance, LGBTQ+, YA fiction : 4.5 out of 5 stars
The journey of self-acceptance that one asexual girl must take in order to be happy. In addition to serving as a poignant reminder that not every LGBTQ+ person is surrounded by allies or people like them, this novel was so sweet, it felt like licking the frosting from a cupcake. A must read.
20. Honey Girl, by Morgan Rogers : Romance, LGBTQ+ : 2.5 out of 5 stars
Recently graduated with a PHd in Astronomy, Grace and her two friends travel to Las Vegas and Grace marries a woman she just met. The relationships between the protagonist and her friends was beautiful, and the writing had many strengths and high points. These victories only made the plot’s shortcomings more obvious.
22. The Town of Babylon, by Alejandro Verela : Slice of Life, LGBTQ+ : 3 out of 5 stars
Andres is a public health worker married to a surgeon, Marco, when he returns home to his unnamed suburban hamlet to care for his ailing father in the midst of his own relationship challenges with Marco. It explores themes of change, queerness, and what it’s like to be the only brown face in a sea of white people. It was heartfelt and lovely.
21. The Cabin at the End of the World, by Paul Tremblay : Horror, LGBTQ+ : 5 out of 5 stars
Wen and her parents Eric and Andrew travel to a remote cabin in New Hampshire for Spring Break, only to be held prisoner by four reluctant captives who claim that the end of the world is coming, and only Wen’s parents and the sacrifice they make can stop it. I cried. The relationships in this novel, the use of violence and horror as a vehicle for INCREDIBLE, GROUNDBREAKING storytelling--go read it. Just do it!
What I’m reading now: The Stranger, by Albert Camus
For next Year: A Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket, Sometimes I lie, by Alice Feeny, Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield, and others...
UNTIL NEXT YEAR <3
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Writer Interview Thing
So this weekend I--- Lets roll this back a tad. So the beginning of this week I got super motivated to be creative but I work 4 day weeks of 10 hour shifts. So I didn’t really time to do anything till now. I want to finish 3 bits of writing this weekend and this is one of them.
1. When did you start writing?
Actually writing in this form? I’m not sure honestly. I remember as like a teen writing poetry a little and writing my mom like a nice mothers day poem I made up. She was convinced I took it from somewhere.
Early writing was based on just too many feelings and or emotions inside of me and just needing a release. Writing after that was because I could write to someone I cared about. Which led to the early stages of this kind of writing.
I actually pushed more into this because way back in the day when people rode around on dinosaurs a guy found some of my very first stories on a blog website. He thought they were funny which is why some of my stories are the way they are today. He also hosted my original website and writing for a few years back than.
2. Favorite story you’ve written?
As the person who picked most these questions I don’t know why I fucking picked this one.
I’m not sure, I really enjoyed writing the Summer Time Madness part with (Captain) Sean and the Kraken. I have a huge soft spot for any part of a story where I use the ocean as symbolism for washing someone away.
3. Favorite character?
I don’t think I remember all my characters to be honest. It would be an insult to my own creation to not say Sean and the Girl/Princess/Ashley. They’ve been in my head for over a decade now.
Currently I really do enjoy Claire and the Baristas though.
4. Best hidden message in a story you’ve written?
Hidden seems to be an abstract thought to me. When I feel something is hidden it is apparently very obvious. And when I feel something is obvious it is not noticed at all. I think for now my favorite hidden.... You know I haven’t really fleshed this part out, written it, or come to a concrete thought on the matter. But a certain character mite have connections to the girl from the star character from a very old story of mine. Well Claire mite have that connection. I’m not sure yet. But the stars themselves mite be coming back to my stories.
5. Why so many spelling and grammer errors?
Short, because I can.
Long, hmmmm. I didn’t like grow up smart. I didn’t really start reading till like the 4th grade but than by the 5th grade I was devouring books. Do to many personal issues in life (people dying and being extremely poor etc) I didn’t really try to do anything in school. I graduated high school with one of the lowest possible GPAs because I thought I was going work at mcdonalds after I graduated. Turns out I was so poor the government gave me money for college and I was able to attend community college and get an associates for free because of that. The only and most depressing silver lining to having a parent die when your 12 years old.
Basically I have no real education on the matter of writing.
Also I can’t draw for shit.
I can’t sing or make music for shit.
I can’t paint.
I can write, anyone can write. I view writing much like someone would view painting. Each word but a stroke on the canvas. And every error or mistake but a drop of paint misplaced. Now apart of something greater and beyond my control.
I know its wrong but I heavily prefer my writing be a one shot. Written once and released into the world. I have slowly, very slowly, come to terms with editing and proof reading and all that nerd shit. Its a process I am still heavily refusing to this day.
Yes, grammer is spelt wrong on purpose you heathens.
6. Any sneak peaks or future plans for writing?
Hmm
If the Moon can be apart of the story.
A vessel of power.
A weapon.
A dramatic bit of symbolism.
What of the sun than?
7. Can you explain “The Void” and “Post Void”?
Many parts of my life have shoved there whole hand into my chest and squeezed. Every time it happens it feels worse than the time before. I would call my high school years a void and everything after a post void. I would call some years after losing someone I cared about in my twenties a void than post void. And this rehash of loving people and losing people another void than post void. Depression is crippling. Depression has ruined every single tooth inside my mouth. To the scars on my body to the tattoo on my wrist.
Simply a void is when life wraps its cold star ridden hands around my neck and holds me still till I either die or stand back up.
And post void is everything that happens after. Consequences and all. Standing back up always comes at a price and I pay it greedily each time.
8. Does anyone in your family know that you write?
No? I guess some know I scribbled at one point as a hobby. But no one for sure knows about Once Was A Stranger.
If anyone is curious as to why. I don’t trust my family with the deep bits of my existence. As the youngest of 6 kids nothing I do will ever have a strong meaning.
9. “Why am I not a main character?”
I can’t tell if this a question from my good friend twchh or from Sean himself. Sir, I could never capture your essence in simple words. God could give me the canopy of the night sky and I still wouldn’t be able to put you into mere words with all that space.
10. “How much of Once Was A Stranger is actually inspired by/based on reality and how much of it is me misreading it as that.”
Warning: A friend/peer/tortured proof reader asked me this question so I up chucked a metric ton of words on the subject. This is the last question here and its full of non-organized words.
This is going to be a really really really long answer and I will try my best to make it as coherent as possible. I’ve reread this story multiple times to better answer this.
Its so hard to explain everything without shoving 86 links with 86 different stories down your throat. Once Was A Stranger was every bit of writing I ever tried to write in my life. I was finally able to reign in my scatter brain and write a complete story in the style I desired. I have some small regrets still on some parts. I had really big expectations for the market scene where the Stranger gives his big speech. I tried for a really long time to write that part and just couldn’t do it. Which is why the scene is so.... off center and cuts off. It works just well enough to fit its role in the story but I wanted so much more from that section of the story.
I am already off track.
I’ll start with the characters.
Sean
Sean for all intensive purposes is my first character. Like my first character ever. Sean is a major carry over from my first stories I’ve written. Why the name? Because I liked it. Sometimes it reminds me of the Shawn meme from that one video game (SHAWN!). Sean’s shtick is that he was a thought, a happy little day dream, a fantasy trapped in some girls head. And he was used by the girl to make herself happy. But one day he started slowly growing free will and becoming alive. He would turn against the girl in her dreams trying to escape. The girl would often “reset” him back to a basic little fantasy but suddenly it didn’t work. I never finished this story, I knew how it was going to end, but I never finished it.
Princess
Princess is just the---the girl---every single girl from every story. Most precisely the girl from Beads that used Sean as an escape inside her own head. I used to know a person a lifetime ago. A very very very long lifetime ago. This character was based off of them and the relationship I had with them.
Jim
Now this one is funny. While rereading the story I didn’t realize that this mite be read as a problematic name for people who knew me. I’m not sure if this was a separate story or a part of Beads (Beads was my first too much for me to handle large scale failed story attempt).
But Jim is named after an old one off character. His full name was Jim the goldfish. Jim the goldfish lived on an alien planet full of goldfish. Jim’s wife left him and he was drafted into the army to fight in non copyright infringing battle suits (much like gundams but totally not gundams). In this story the ruling class, the Kardashians (yes, those ones) were battling revolutionaries to keep there power. They got this power by abusing the exchange rates between there planet and earth. And they used that money to get amazing plastic surgery and become famous on earth. The “Sean” character, a guy in a pair of white nikes drifting thru space (was and still am a huge kid cudi fan) was drifting past this scene in the story.
Stranger
Once Was A Stranger. Not much in the story really takes inspiration from my life till the end. But the title. The act of writing this story. The life I breathed into it and the immortal bit of lightning it threw back at me. The title is very strongly based on events from my life. Thus he was titled. For he was a stranger. Much like myself.
List of all the references:
Stars: I have a great personal desire to escape life, all of it. And stars are about as far away as you can get. I once wrote a story about a fallen star who met a strange boy. Boy and girl. Sean and princess, etc. Boy obviously had problems at home. Girl was a star exploding with life not wanting to go back to the night sky. Not that bad of a story I think this still exists and is readable somewhere.
Succulent plants: A small reference to a person someone tried to make me friends with and the interaction of wanting to own plants but not being capable of keeping them alive so they were suggested to me. I thought they best fit the character for this story. Kind of like a foreshadow to Jim having a darker bit of torment inside of him.
The Actual Moon
Honestly, I have no real clue. I wanted something great to destroy. I have more to explore and write about in future stories so I won’t get into too much detail. Big kid cudi fan (man on the moon). Its in space and away from here. Big and bright and in the sky. Also completely crazy concept to try and fight it.
King/Princess/Royalty
The girl is referred to as Princess as like an emotional show of importance. The way the girl from the star story was a star. And in that same story her father was the morning star always searching for her till the last moment each morning. The princess had a king. Someone of authority who did not like the stranger. What? A girl with a father who didn’t like the boy. Crazy. That’s totally never happened to anyone before.
The napkins in the end scene.
Unicorn/Bear/Mysterious monster
These are all references to old bit of writing pieces or short stories I’ve written. Sean even notes his white sneakers aka the white nikes story. And this is all a deeper reference to the fact all those stories have long been deleted. I had a...
I had a.
A blackhole void consumed my life.
An irl friend had to come grab me out my house one day to make me move.
I deleted almost every single part of my online presence because of that.
Many references in Once Was A Stranger are from long deleted stories. I think I wanted to acknowledge them and pay my respects even though I was the one that deleted those stories.
Repeated phrases/bits
Because I find them entertaining and this was my story. The telling time by the stars or sun. Repeated phrases. Etc etc etc. My favorite part of Once Was A Stranger was slightly noting the writer was apparent to the characters. It wasn’t breaking the 4th wall in my opinion because the writer, myself, was in fact also a character in this story.
Sliding between Sean and Jim and different parts of the story
This was a major shoutout to Beads and to what that story could of been if I was a better writer at the time. To make it seem like the Princess was trapped between stories. A turn on the original Beads where Sean was strapped between stories.
Sean/Jim
Were they the same? Different sides of the same coin. Not to spoil future stories yet to be written too much. They represented the split between my long time main character. I’m not sure if there any really parallels between nice Jim becoming angry and angry Sean becoming nice. I think I was in too deep of an emotional space at the time of writing to really know.
Baristas
I have no idea. That just sprouted in my brain. They became apart of the story than proceeded to get there own “spinoff” story.
Late game writing
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yep
You read these parts
I guess I should spell this out.
Knife.
The void
This all hurts to talk about honestly.
I’ve been kicking the words for this around in my head lately. Hoping to write something that would relieve the pain a little.
I was in love with someone. It was unrequited. And it caused a forest of stars to sprout and take root in my heart. And it made someone very very very close to me hate me. Hate me so much. It felt like they stabbed me in my chest with a knife. Trying to kill the forest of stars inside my heart. To kill that love. That unrequited love. A deep bit of selfishness shared all around. All because we loved the same person.
As far as the story is concerned. Sean, The Stranger, twisted and turned. And now the knife was in there hand. New name and all.
The Ocean
As far back as Beads I have always used the ocean as a way to cleanse. Clean. Restart. Change. Give birth to. The ocean is as much life as it is monstrous and uncontrollable. The ocean cleansed this story and gave a rebirth to the boy and the girl. Or a death. They walked purposely into the open arms of the ocean.
Ashley
This is the shortest answer. Big fan of Halsey.
I’m not very good at putting things in order. Jesus H Christ that much is obvious. I hope they shined random bits of light on some things.
This is the end of this bit of writing. And I am completely open to follow up questions. I know only one person mite have them but you know how to contact me and scream insanity into my ear.
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♥️🌌 15, 17, 19, 85 🌠♥️
🚂🚃 asks
15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?
There are multiple, yes. *cracks knuckles*
Novels:
1. The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton.
I will never be able to explain what this book means to me. It's a fabulous, ineffable feeling that no other piece of media has ever made me feel. I'm so different from Lily Bart, and yet i find her so relatable, so easy to understand. Her incapacity to reconcile two conflicting ideas, her lack of drive, her lack of self-worth beyond being a beautiful vessel; how her mother's influence has shaped her ideals, how Selden challenges them and why that appeals her so much. The world Lily's mother built for her is crumbling, and she's helpless. She's her own worst enemy.
I had to microdose this novel because it made my heart physically ache. I knew from the start she was doomed, and at the end i cried for her, and i cried for myself fearing i will suffer the same fate.
2. Notre Dame de Paris.
A shallow reading of this novel won't make it justice. The Disney movie is like: the monster is actually human / the human is actually a monster yadda yadda yadda, boring (still a good movie tho). The book doesn’t have such a stale dichotomy. Claude Frollo is terrifyingly human and terrifyingly well portrayed. I remember getting goose bumps when i read the boat scene in which Frollo —like Charon ferrying the souls of the dead across the waters of Hades— ferries Esmeralda to the other side of the shore, where he (also as the role of judge) will decide her final sentence.
3. Of Human Bondage.
The movie does not do justice to the book. Yes, Bette's performance ✨️talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before✨️, etc. But the book is better. In the novel Philip himself is incapable of understanding why he's so frightfully in love with Mildred, he's in a constant struggle to get over it. He hates Mildred, he desperately loves her, he hates himself for loving her. *Insert ouroboros encircling Cupid: love is self devouring here*. And Mildred...well, I can't figure her out, she confuses me. In the movie (as with Frollo) she is just plain bad. But in the book she's a constant ????? she's petty, she's mean and manipulative, but she is also capable of being incredibly naive, of giving in to passionate impulses and of feeling compassion. I think Mildred is far more stupid than evil, which once again makes her more human.
Poetry:
Devotions.
Mary oliver was right: You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Completely changed my view of the world and shaped me into the person that i am today.
Shows:
The x Files.
I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said by the x files meta writers on this app.
Movies:
The Sound of Music.
It somehow feels like a movie adaptation of Mary Oliver's poetry. 174 minutes of pure joy.
17. What's the most interesting coincidence you've had happen to you (or someone you know)?
Sorry to disappoint you querida but i have no idea.
Many interesting coincidences have happened to me! almost all of them related to coincidentally meeting a key person in my life.
19. In general, is there any historical event you desperately want to witness?
85. What memories would describe as your "core" ones?
My mom clumsily playing videogames just for the sake of spending time with me. My dad sleepily reading Donald Duck comics to me at night and me asking him to not fell asleep and to go on, go on! bc i was a such a restless, full of life child and couldn't understand how the people around me was so drained. My childhood summers. ABBA on the car radio while travelling. The first time my cat looked at me with his big baby blue eyes. Meeting you. My last year of highschool which was the only one good.
100 questions to talk about on the late night train at 11:04 pm
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I posted 1,724 times in 2022
That's 748 more posts than 2021!
667 posts created (39%)
1,057 posts reblogged (61%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lovesodeepandwideandwell
@dimsilver
@laurelindorenan
@magpie-trove
@holbytlanna
I tagged 1,677 of my posts in 2022
Only 3% of my posts had no tags
#pontifications and creations - 438 posts
#narnia - 342 posts
#ask me hard questions - 334 posts
#tolkien legendarium - 234 posts
#how can i keep from singing - 91 posts
#i will not say the day is done - 75 posts
#only thou art holy - 70 posts
#aurë entuluva! - 60 posts
#jack - 60 posts
#reading fairy tales again - 57 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#i just don't think i'll ever get over the relationship between our loving meticulous glorious creator-god and the elegance of how he create
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
In Narnia, Right was right and courage came with clarity. Beauty abounded and Aslan, even across the sea, never felt so very far away.
That’s how they remembered it in England, at least. Three months gone and the edges were sanded down. Their children’s hearts remembered beauty and clung to victory. If you’re not an idealist when you’re young, there’s something wrong with you.
Peter said, and they all agreed, that their memories of Narnia were like books on a shelf. It was all still there, but filed away. To think of a particular summer dance or ship’s voyage, you had to pull the proper book from its shelf and turn the pages until you found the story you wanted. You could recall the events that way and it would be like any other memory: vivid but imperfect, bathed in old feelings and new, details intact but a fine mist of nostalgia covering the scene.
Their old skills were gone, but what use was swordsmanship in Britain? Most of the time, the Pevensie children scarcely noticed what they had lost. They played in forests and swam in ponds, went to the grocer’s and prepared for school to resume. They were children.
They thought of Narnia often, but it was as one remembers a glorious holiday by the seashore, or the most important novel you’ve ever read. It had changed their lives, but it was past, and memory; a secret language, and daydreams and play-battles out in the Professor’s woods.
Because they were children, the edges of their memories softened, they forgot the things that would have given them nightmares. Right was right in Narnia, after all. They did not remember the sticky, congealing mess of the Witch’s blood that clung to Aslan’s mouth after Beruna, when he had ripped her throat out and devoured her body. They forgot the visceral fear that Rabadash would manage to take Susan to wife by force, and what he would do to her if he did. They forgot the awful chaos of battle, the sickening stench of bellies hewn open and intestines spilling onto the sodden earth. They did not remember living to be twenty, thirty, fifty, sixty, growing old and aching with it, burying friends, and worrying about the succession. The burden of all those years would have broken any children so young.
After they were sent home for the last time, each of the Pevensie children found ways of remembering. Peter joined a fencing league, and soon found that old broadsword techniques would often flutter out of his memory’s pages and into his hands. Susan sketched until she didn’t, until she put away her pad full of fauns and castles and lions in a box of childhood nonsense—but it was many years before that happened. Edmund wrote pages and pages of reminiscences down, trying to externalize the books of his memory. Lucy daydreamed, and she dressed in bright Narnian colors, and sang Narnian songs, and a million other tiny things that scarcely anyone noticed. The Pevensie children found ways to remember. Narnia remained in their minds: a little distant, perhaps, but the ink never faded.
And one day, when he was ready, Edmund was trying to calm his father through the soldier’s panic that followed a car backfiring and he began to remember the feeling of having seen war. The book in his mind opened where the pages had been stuck together, and suddenly he knew how to help.
Lucy began to recall snatches of what it was like to grow old. She looked in on her grandparents more and more. “I know your knee isn’t what it used to be,” she smiled as she went to get the stepstool.
Susan held a classmate tight after a terrible, terrible night and trembled, remembering Rabadash’s hot breath on her face, the way he’d grabbed her forearms with bruising strength and demanded to kiss her. I understand, she whispered. It wasn’t your fault.
Peter, sitting in theology class, remembered the viscera around Aslan’s mouth and began to understand what justice meant.
The terrible parts came back in flashes as the children grew into young men and women. Memories of Narnia expanded to fit their older selves, old horrors and heartaches now many years past. Little by little, the Pevensie children grew back into themselves.
Two Lucys existed, one long past and one in the mirror. Two Edmunds, two Susans, two Peters. The present Lucy did not miss the woman she had grown to be in Narnia, except in rare instances. She had what she needed from her old self. She still had so much growing left to do.
696 notes - Posted September 21, 2022
#4
Tell me about God suffering.
Tell me about the God who knew that we would break his heart, yet chose to create us anyway. Who saw Adam, fashioned in his own image, and said “It is very good.”
Tell me about the God who said, “my heart, my bowels, my inner parts weep like a lyre for the suffering of my people.” Who watched his loved ones worship idols and fall into sin, who knew all the blackest desires of their hearts. Who faithfully wounded them, sent them into exile, let them die, and said “How can I give you up, O Ephraim? My heart recoils within me.”
Tell me about a God who fashioned us from dust in the full knowledge that in order to keep us, he would see his son scourged and dying on the cross. Who knew that one day he would turn his face away. About a Jesus who said, “here am I, send me.” Who set his face towards Golgotha even in the halls of eternity.
Tell me about a God who became small and frail. Who endured headaches and hangnails and long nights without sleep. Who was anxious and afraid, embarrassed and misunderstood. Who was tempted. Who saw his friends sad and sick and dying. Who wept with the sound of a horse before battle.
Tell me about Jesus weeping and sweating blood in Gethsemane. Tell me about the cross. Tell me about “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me” and the agony of unanswered prayer.
Tell me about the Father and the Spirit, cut off from the Son for the first time in history. The Son, begotten and abandoned. The Spirit, proceeding from nowhere. Tell me about the death of one you have loved from eternity.
Tell me about the Spirit, who intercedes for us before the Father in groans too deep for words. Who understands our deepest pains that well.
People say that to love at all is to suffer, but that isn’t true. God loved and was loved in perfect Trinity before he created us. To love what is fallen is to suffer.
Tell me about the God who chose suffering.
@citrussunrises
790 notes - Posted September 9, 2022
#3
890 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
#2
895 notes - Posted September 14, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Reepicheep could kill the Witch King of Angmar (and/or Macbeth).
2,081 notes - Posted February 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#I'm so confused what posts have i not tagged???#i tag everything???...#how in the world do i have forty something tagless posts?!#what are they???#ask me hard questions
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