#despite the fact the lack thereof is one of the reasons people actually like this site
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the fuck did they do. why would you move the tags button. why would you put something else in its place so people click on the wrong thing every time. I hate change I'm dying blood is pouring out my eyes and ears this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life etc etc ad nauseam
#the new lightbox viewer thing is even worse#they are sooooo determined to feed you recommended content to drive engagement#despite the fact the lack thereof is one of the reasons people actually like this site#which I think does not compute in corporate types#if twitter and tik tok clone then more money right? RIGHT????? formula is flawless#ahhhhh#also the click on header update is awful#not just because it's click on header#but because it takes you to the post not the place on their blog with the post#and you can no longer follow a reblog trail backwards#awful awful awful#hate stomp with hooves etc#the fuckening of tumblr#mp
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One of the most surprising things I learned recently is that Bernie doesn’t do well with Black voters, and I was wondering if you knew why that is? I feel like his platform is fairly popular so I just wonder why he fails to win their votes?
It's because Black Democrats a) like actual Democrats, and b) also don't have time to waste with empty moral posturing when they are intimately aware of how public policy and progressive (or reactive/reactionary) politics affect their everyday life, in a way that a lot of privileged white Bernie Bros were utterly unequipped to consider (and indeed, attacked the Black Democrats for "not knowing what's best for them," which is not paternalistic or racist at all!) Black Democrats also know how important voting is, because of the obvious fact that they were disenfranchised, had their political accomplishments totally dismantled at the end of Reconstruction, had to literally fight through dogs, gas, guns, and screaming white supremacists to exercise their vote and win their civil rights in the 1960s, and are consistently targeted today by white Republicans attempting to gerrymander, restrict, penalize, or otherwise eradicate their rights. Black Democrats don't vote for empty performative politics, they vote for results. Bernie is great at one, and very bad at the other. Three guesses which.
Elderly Black Democrats in South Carolina allegedly "saved" Biden's 2020 campaign (after Bernie had done well in the EXTREMELY white Iowa and New Hampshire primaries; the ordering of the primaries and the excessive prognostications attached to Uber White Midwestern/New England Results is dumb, but anyway). And that was because Black Democrats have good reason to like Biden. He spent eight years willingly supporting and never upstaging the first Black president, he picked the first Black/Asian woman as his vice president, he put the first Black woman on SCOTUS, he has spent years championing their concerns at an actual tangible and legislative level, and they know that they can trust him. By contrast, Bernie is one of those leftists who dismisses all other kinds of oppression as secondary to the class struggle and thinks that racism, sexism, misogyny, etc. are all inferior injustices to economic injustice. And yes! Economic injustice is very much a thing! But if you go around telling marginalized communities to their faces that their many, many years of lived experience with racial oppression isn't as "real" as economic injustice, and/or that racism will magically be solved by economic redress and you don't need to do anything else about it, don't be surprised when that is not a winning message.
Besides, and as noted: Bernie has spent fifty years in politics and achieved nothing really meaningful (unlike Biden, who has also been in politics for fifty years and has real and significant legislative accomplishments as senator, vice president, and president). His policies are on-paper progressive, but Black Democrats and Black people in general aren't a monolithically progressive voting bloc, and have other concerns and issues that intersect with their support (or lack thereof) for him. There are very few Black people who can afford to take their vote for granted, or to vote for somebody who hasn't demonstrated any interest in going through the legislative process to achieve real results, and instead spends most of his time talking loudly to left-leaning white progressives and cultivating a "Only I, Great Bernie, Can Solve Your Problems" political mentality, which then spills into sore loserdom and was an issue in both 2008 and (most visibly and unforgivably) in 2016.
Basically, in my view, Bernie mostly exists to be the totem for a certain subset of privileged white leftists to club the Democratic Party over the head and set impossible standards of what they "should" be doing, which in turn actively undermines support for the Democrats and helps nakedly fascist Republicans win more elections. And despite nominally running as a Democrat, he in fact is not a Democrat (he sits as an independent) and makes no effort to court central Democratic constituencies. Of which, and obviously, African-Americans are one of the greatest parts, due to consistently voting to get this country out of the mess that fascist white people keep trying to plunge it into. Any candidate who does not understand that, and does not make serious efforts to do so, likewise should not be taken seriously. Therefore, no matter how mad it makes his frothing internet stans (who likewise are not serious people with actual political opinions), the Democratic party apparatus has no real need to humor him and his self-aggrandizing constant talking about things that he never, ever actually does shit about.
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Since reviews of le spinoff S1 are dropping tonight/tomorrow, I wanted to go over my plans and expectations for the next 6 weeks one last time. I figured it’d be easier to put it all in one place rather than answer a bunch of individual asks.
First of all, I’m not watching. And I know I’ve said that so many times, it must be annoying at this point, but in case anyone thought I was bluffing or might change my mind, nope. I know what Daryl Dixon represents to me and I want to hold onto that as best as I can. How do I know he’s going to be retconned? Because the promotion is telling me so. Everything’s different? Don’t need to watch the flagship show to follow Daryl’s story? Daryl can build his own family just like Rick? He can be loyal to anyone he meets? Wanting to get back to his real family is “the wrong reason” for his mission? There was no plan for Daryl and Carol to go to New Mexico together? Get off the stage, Greg. All of that is clearly trying to appeal to new viewers or Norman stans who will follow him anywhere, not the built-in audience.
I started the campaign for Melissa because as JDM and Greg Nicotero are once again proving, not nearly enough people were on her side. I want to continue showing my support, and I don’t believe watching the first season of a show she was unfairly pushed out of helps me do that. There are a few people I trust to give me their thoughts on it. One of them is @lighteneverything whose reviews I will be sure to share every week. I’ll talk about anything Carol/Caryl related if it comes up, and I’ll share my own thoughts on some big picture stuff when the season is over.
As far as Carol/Caryl go, I expect very little. I think, based on the promotion or lack thereof, AMC is putting all of their stock in Carol’s appearance alone, meaning they want the relief of seeing her again to distract us from the fact that her role in the first season—despite possible vague references here and there—is pretty inconsequential. I think what little screentime she has will be a cold comfort considering the show was supposed to be hers too. But I’ll wait to find out what that actually looks like before I say more 🙄
I expect SM to be an absolute nightmare. The media and the fans who love to hate Carol/Caryl will have a field day with everything we find triggering and reviews will lean into the positives. I think the ratings for the pilot will be significantly better than DC’s, but we’ll see what happens after that.
I’m saying all of this so that hopefully anyone who’s nervous won’t be caught off guard. I know Caryl’s story is important and deeply personal to so many of us, so fuck all of the entitled assholes who used this show for their own purposes instead of catering to an audience that’s been loyal to them for over a decade. Please reach out to me if you ever need to vent. If you think the show is going to be enjoyable for you, then you can ignore me. I hope you get what you want out of it.
My hope is that we’ll be able to put this mess behind us soon, so we can just look forward to the stories that Carol, Daryl, Caryl, and all of their fans really deserve.
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why exactly do you think griffith isn't a problematic character? i'm very interested.
The phrasing of this ask leads me to believe it's not being sent in good faith, but I'm ignoring that and answering anyway.
So, I mean, the easy answer is "because he's a fictional character whose actions or behavior have zero real world impact."
The longer answer is, if you're referring to the colloquial definition of problematic which involves actions or attitudes that are in some way indicative of harmful beliefs, prejudices etc, then there's literally no evidence that he has any of those things. You might be able to make a case for slight sexism based on him telling Casca that sleeping next to Guts is a woman's duty, but other than that he's infamously egalitarian in every area - he accepts anyone regardless of ethnicity, gender, background, etc.
This even carries through to NeoGriffith, who is literally inventing public education, creating pathways to citizenship for refugees, requiring Apostles to behave civilly and stop attacking/killing people, and actively chipping at class distinctions, which he always did, which is why conservative nobles hated him so much.
What people mean when they say Griffith is problematic is generally that they're mad at him about the Eclipse and specifically because Femto raped Casca, and often that they've made up all kinds of negative headcanon about the way he was as a human because of Femto's actions during the Eclipse. But I don't care about anyone's Griffith Was A Sociopath headcanon or whatever, I care about what's in the actual series.
You could argue that FEMTO is problematic (he doesn't quite fit my understanding of what problematic means, but I'm not going to act like he isn't a whole entire asshole) but FEMTO isn't GRIFFITH, he's Griffith's soul shot through with the energies of hell, and with his emotions blunted, his humanity removed, and his moral limitations lifted.
People who call him problematic also usually mean that they're judging his actions from a modern western perspective when he's a medieval-to-renaissance era fantasy character created by a Japanese man in the 80s, so I find the application of a 2023 American moral paradigm sort of pointless. Particularly because people generally only apply the paradigm to Griffith specifically, because they're mad at him and not at, say, Guts despite Guts being a mass murderer by any modern standard.
The most honest answer is, all of the above but also I just don't find any utility in passing moral judgement on manga characters to begin with.
That doesn't mean I can't discuss his actions, their implications, their justification or lack thereof - is it okay to kill people who are trying to kill you, do the ends justify the means, how much death is acceptable in the creation of a nice place to live, etc etc. I like discussing these things. But I'm not going to discuss them from a place of judging whether those actions are problematic or even whether they're good or bad; I find that boring and reductive. One of the reasons I love Berserk to begin with is that it rejects these paradigms, so I'm not trying to impose them after the fact.
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Miles isn’t bad, just overrated
”wild to me”, as in how could you not like him?
Mind you they’re leaving out continuity, origin differences, the fact some aren't mantles but actual RANKS (GL), Fate/Nabu is more an Entity than a mantle. (debatable, yes)
Barry to Jay is Jim Hammond Human Torch to Johnny Storm’s Torch- existed in different times
Hammond was an Allies soldier
Johnny is a modern Superhero whose power is cosmic in isolation
Leaving out context to make a moot point.
I was there day one Miles’ story began, and i loyally bought his stuff.
He ain’t all that, the main selling point is the cultural modernization that he represents, he’s an urban, black Spider-man and that’s mainly why people latch onto him.
Not that he’s in anyway compelling or interesting in a unique sense, cause he is an individual person, but the urban aesthetic mainly is what people fell in love with. And that’s 100% fine-
But it’s when you start deflecting that fact and start acting like people have an issue when they don’t like him and you just can’t for the life of you understand “why why why, don’t you like him” vs other knockoffs:
Mind you, i’m probably one of the lesser yet avid Supergirl criticizers on the net, and i’m not even talking about the show, that’s too easy, comics 100%. That requires research.
So there’s no double standard, Kara Zor El is a blue eyed blond haired girl next door archetype cosplaying as Superman, her entire appeal is to get women into the lore but she ended up being taken in by straight men as a fanbase, majorly.
Why?
Because she’s got a dynamic character arc? (She’s had some decent runs, nothing phenomenal)
An arc that at one point changed the landscape of DC?
Her tragic downward spiral of self-destruction and wrapped up in a beautiful act of redemption & sacrifice?
NOPE that would be someone else, who i often WISH was Supergirl in the first fucking place.
But despite Clark Kent-PRIME being a better character, somehow hasn’t gotten a single chance in the animated media.
Young JUSTICE didn’t choose him. They chose Kara to end off S4, because we haven’t had enough of her the past 15 years, she’s so deep like that.
I DIGRESS.
As you can tell, i cannot stand her despite her innate general appeal. Why? Writing, purpose, originality and lack thereof.
The takes of Kara that land, FOR ME, are the ones that say or do something different from the version mainline canon, and allow her to be her own thing off of Clarks coattails in some way, minor or major.
*DC Nuclear Winter Kara Zor El, i like her.
And the fact that she’s a cutesie R63, usually. Is the only reason why she remained relevant for this long, same with Powergirl, up until people literally forgetting she existed because her contribution to the picture was big tits and a litle bit of ego.
Injusitce 2 brought her back, attitude and all.....aaaand then she went back into obscurity, WHO saw that coming?
Same with Miles, token.
Miles not bad, not a bad kid, not the worst take on Spider-man. Just overrated.
Some people need to just admit what they like about him is the aesthetic surrounding him, and stop pretending we just don’t get what it is that’s wrong with other people regarding him.
Cause i guarantee you majority of people stanning this kid has NEVER read that issue where he fought that nobody villain: Kangaroo- which is technically where his first fight as a masked hero began.
Doesn’t mean you have to read every single issue to speak on the matter (Because i need to catch up on some of his stories myself), but the point is with all this support for this character, how invested are you really in this boy beyond what’s fed to you by Hollywood.
It means: Do you actually give a shit? Are you invested, or are you just talking?
It means don’t act stupid for the sake of feigning confusion when you know exactly what’s up.
Like he should be or has to be liked and anything less is a problem or something.
Most people big him up because he’s a POC Spider-Man, period.
If they (Marvel/Bendis) had any balls they would’ve made Miles more like Kaine, give him some anger issues or SOME kind of major flaw that made him having powers a serious problem- and how he uses his powers, is different enough from Peter in sheer application to where he’s not your average Spider-Man by just how he moves:
Like Deku & Allmight having roughly the same power, initially, but Deku uses his strengths so differently by S2-S3, he literally moves & fights nothing like All Might anymore. He’s his own aesthetic.
Even Full Cowling isn’t something Allmight’s really known for, it’s a visual distinction between the two.
And that’s one of few things i can actually praise of the franchise without a complaint.
That should’ve been Miles.
And no, some sparky fingers ain’t unique cause Jessica was doing that shit decades before Miles was a concept, but nobody talks about that tho.
The Invisible Woman shit? Sure i’ll give him that i guess. It’s pretty cool.
Moreso this alternate Miles’ arc is moreso learning the values of a hero in his own way, at his own pace, while maintaining enough moral differences from Parker to be a different situation.
Say he’s 18 when he gets his power, slightly older than when Peter got his,14-15.
Have the first 9-12 months be him using his powers for himself, a “fuck the world” attitude, until he does something deathly serious in a fit of rage or self defense, that he can’t undo and regrets for the rest of his career.
Anything like that would’ve been more compelling.
You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound like a more interesting story, i didn’t say “better”, i said “interesting.”
Not just Peter Parker but recolored.
Again, I was there since the beginning, 2012, day one i was buying Morales comics “Because he looked liked me”, and guess what, i was NOT impressed.
The staying power wasn’t there, the justification of his looking like me (and yes he looked just like me) WAS NOT enough to warrant long term investment because while he did look like me, Miles was NOT me. Period.
I liked that both his parents were alive, ofc they weren’t an entirely black family unit, of course.
But i liked his pops, Jefferson being a cop. His mom was good peoples, and what happened to her was...something.
But the kid overall was boring, he didn’t speak to me, he just mirrored my melanin, big deal.
Lo and behold, just looking like a person isn’t enough to justify staying power, who knew? Just being black doesn’t mean i relate to you, who knew?
That was the day i realized, true “Representation” is NOT skin deep. It’s about character, who you are as a person. Period.
Between Kaine and Morales, it’s not even a Contest.
One has enough distinctions moral & mental to be a completely separate franchise and SHOULD'VE been in movies by now, R Rated ofc.
And the other is just a glorified What If DLC.
But ofc guess who gets a honorable mention, twice in the MCU. The Black Spider-Man ofc:
Because he’s compelling, interesting, a long standing character in the Spider-man lore?
No that’s KAINE, hell i’m still looking for Madam Web’s respect, on god..
I’m STILL waiting for MAYDAY to get her big break! The fact that Miles was able to skip the line in front of her, is insane to me.
Miles is likely going get to the MCU first before BEN, Web, Mayday and KAINE combined, because he’s the black Spidey.
Again, you can like him if you want, but don’t pretend for a second why people don’t like him is some mystery.
Miles looks exactly like me, i repeat and i cannot stand him as a concept- i gravitate to Venom, Kaine, Miguel, Spider-Man NOIR, Mayday, etc.
And Miguel is technically the POC Spider-man BEFORE Morales, half Mexican, but Miles is black+latino in current day, so let’s just forget all about O’Hara until some corny Spiderverse movie makes him relevant again in the post credit scene, now everyone’s going to love Miguel because he’s going to be in the next movie.
Mapping out the main reason i can’t normies sometimes, bandwagon mentality.
And it sucks cause we got him in Ultimate Spiderman XD, Edge of Time, Shattered Dimensions, so the man had some momentum getting off the pages. So what was the hold up with getting this cat in a movie? Or a Mini series like TNAS Spider-man most people forgot?
Miguel is a legit cool dude, careerman, sly, very different aesthetic, different time, different Spider-man. He is NOT Parker, trust me.
Miguel O’Hara should’ve been gotten his own show or movie. And on that note, that obscure underwritten Spider-man Unlimited, was a Spider-man 2099 cartoon that didn’t know or it 100% knew it was trying to be 2099
But our boy Miles gets to skip the goddamn line in front of established more interesting characters that have done their time since before the Century turned, get mentions in the MCU and 2 animated movies, if that’s not AA energy i don’t know what is.
NOW THAT’S wild to me.
#token black#spider-man#miles morales#kaine#marvel comics#knockoffs#off my mind#representation#poc#token morales#miguel o'hara#scarlet spider#ben reilly
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Izzy is not a shitty sailor/first mate/pirate.
First, why would Blackbeard keep him around and allow him authority for so long? Consider Izzy's resignation rant on episode 4. He talks about all the tasks he's done, including tracking the Revenge, attacking the Spanish. "I", not "we". He seems to play a major role in the running of the legendary Blackbeard's ship. Ed says "I need you here" at one point. Ed as in Blackbeard, the legendary pirate. Sure, we can say he was trying to flatter Izzy into staying...but why bother, if Izzy didn't contribute something of value?
Some say that Izzy is an unreliable narrator here, but there's no evidence to suggest that there isn't truth to it. It also doesn't make sense from a writing point of view. This is our first episode full of Ed and Izzy. Part of the reason that rant exists is exposition. Who are these people, and what is their relationship? This is not the place to risk the audience getting the wrong idea. (Especially when the entire episode confirms that Izzy's concerns are real)
In fact, I think ep 4 shows the important role Izzy plays when he corrects Ed about the date. Izzy's no creative genius, but he can provide the down to earth support that Ed can build his plans on. Izzy could never have read the weather as well as Ed, but he also wouldn't forget a mundane detail like the date.
Then there is the matter of narrative purpose. The Blackbeard crew is meant to be a contrast to Stede's, and the height of piratedom. Our intro to BB's crew is Izzy wondering how Stede ran his ship aground. In fact, the whole point of the first confrontation between Izzy and Stede is meant to show Stede using creativity and audacity to defeat a properly threatening pirate. It diminishes Stede's accomplishment if Izzy is reduced to an incompetent.
Izzy negotiates the buying of hostages from a tribe hostile to suspicious white people. He is able to cut a deal with Badminton with Spanish Jackie's assistance. He's able to convince Calico Jack to help him too. When Ed is accidentally caught, he negotiates well enough to secure his release. He's an excellent swordsman. He can tell the value or lack thereof of the Revenge's crew at a glance. He's still alive and kicking despite being in his fifties, which is a feat for a pirate in and of itself.
I've seen people say Izzy never came up with a plan in episode 4, but he absolutely did. It wasn't a super creative, brilliant plan like what Ed and Stede came up with, but he was obviously ready to start manning cannons and preparing a defense. He was actually very efficient and commanding.
Despite his obvious lack of charisma and leadership skills, Ivan and Fang don't seem to have any real objections to following his orders. They back him up when they confront Ed about doggy heaven.
Izzy absolutely has flaws and weaknesses. So many. But his role in the story is partly to be a reasonably dangerous, competent pirate that Stede can triumph over to show his unique strengths and growth. In order to serve that role, he can't be a garbage pirate.
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i think a lot in general, really, about greg's culturedness (and lack thereof) and his interests, both what he's canonically known to like and what i can imagine he'd like -- and, also, what the fandom has often seemed to just decide he likes. and it's funny bc he's kinda shoehorned into the trope of the bookish type, when like... he's not, lol?
not that he couldn't be, like i do like to imagine him having been a bookworm as a kid, and getting (back) into reading through tom, but imo the wider fandom's desire to actually characterize him this way comes at best from greg being really verbose and awkward. and a little bit from the way he occasionally dresses. and like, yeah, he clearly is kinda cultured. he (probably) went to college for a period of time. he knows a lot of fun facts. particularly about animals. he's familiar with the blue danube waltz.
...and he maintains likely performative knowledge of current events prior to that being his job. he almost certainly got/gets the majority of his news through twitter. he doesn't know any philosophers or historians despite that being something ewan has clearly been talking about forever. he listens to self-help podcasts. he enjoys the in-universe equivalent to shitty marvel movies (though he's at least self aware about it and calls them mediocre). and he's got entry-level art on the wall of his office.
he's also often figured to be a musichead - and yeah, i like the idea of midwest/canadian emo greg. death cab and weezer and records from the 70s, especially as a teenager. But the only music we know for a fact that he listens to is rap. and i think the reason that this (and similar) facts are touched on so little by the fandom (including myself, ngl) is that it's a point of non-relatability for people. so much of greg is deeply relatable, as well as aesthetically aspirational. but the bits that aren't relatable, particularly for tumblr users, are really unrelatable. acknowledging some of greg's few canonical interests (especially just working with how few there even are without inventing new ones) creates an image of a whole different and kinda uncomfortable type of guy. whether it's the fact alone that it's rap (which i'm sure is not a common interest among tumblr's userbase), or the specific discomfort of the vibe that greg gives off re: enjoying it, that has to be what's going on. or a big part of it.
also i obviously don't think there's anything wrong with headcanoning particular interests and just assuming that we barely have an opportunity to see them, but i do think it's noteworthy that in general we very rarely if ever hear greg make any cultural references, especially compared to other characters. my personal take on this is that a combination of 1) a pathological need to Fit In, 2) being a stoner for possibly all his formative years, 3) genuinely not having access to a lot for a while, and 4) putting focus mainly into conventional success for the show's timeline, has helped craft a greg who just did/does not interact with media very much or very deeply. unlike others, he has not been afforded that leisure time.
it's the desperation to convince ourselves that greg is not the Normie With Nothing Going On Upstairs that he sometimes seems like, i think, that mostly motivates all this. he's simultaneously too relatable and too unrelatable for the average viewer. like, when you relate to any of the sibs you're perfectly ready to ignore the parts of their life that are related to their wealth and to focus only on the family aspects, bc that's what matters. there isn't the same kind of wall between the audience and greg, so he inevitably gets reshaped. not just getting toploaded with headcanons but having the character traits that influence his canon interests, or vice versa, ignored.
(NOT trying to conflate liking rap with being uncultured btw, just the fact that we don't know of almost anything else he likes, and it appears so little anyway and doesn't seem in line with the rest of his aesthetic and therefore feels easy to ignore. and liking marvel movies DOES in fact make you seem less cultured, so.)
thing is, i think there's a lot you can do without compromising greg's core traits and a lot of it is just up to personal taste and what any given person wants to project onto him. in any case it IS very congruent with canon that greg would develop new interests, or deepen more shallow ones, throughout the timeline of the show and especially after. he's got more time and money and opportunities now. he has a favorite champagne now. greg's journey is partially, ostensibly, one of him honing his taste.
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having some of the worst times of my life ever and im scared things could get worse... how? well you see. they might create more tnb some day even after all of this.
after massacring my boy ryan like that live on screen... smack cam... removing any of ryans narrative worth or meaning just to have him show up and be cringe which i did enjoy but for real guys. my friends. if they had just had everyone do something random and lackluster it wouldve been fine but ryan showed up to drive the plot and continue his character arc from the rising (and then he didnt, as a joke).
karinas lack of real character arc (AGAIN!) so that she can uhhhh talk about crushes... instead of, for example, have her be an equal hero on-screen to the guys who have already been king of heroes and she works arguably harder than anyone else (she is a hero, an idol, and a student). shes so interesting, theres so much to her! but most of her appearances just serve to further some guys character arc (like the whole blue golden episode is mostly about ryan!.. or kotetsu even! cmon)
the character arc that antonio got that wholly ignored that hes friends with nathan and which makes me actually lose my mind when i think that those two have frequently been shown together but they didnt have a single convo together so that nathan and keith can be confined to a cage where theyre only interacting with each other instead of having any real plot relevance despite them both being really interesting!..
and the fact that antonio/agnes made its way into the show bc the director likes him and you know... agnes was her stand-in, and another reason to not let nathan talk with antonio ever because yknow?.. it just tastes like ash in my mouth to feel like the director felt some type of way about nathans and antonios prior relationship...
the buddy hero system was utilized so poorly! it threw so many characters under the bus like ryan seriously got way too much time in blue golden and their prior relationships with each other were ignored so much like man... i just love them all interacting. i dont love whatever the hell was going on with, for example, nobody noticing that thomas is gone. my heroes wouldve noticed immediately btw. instead of subaru and thomas being in a cage where they only interacted with each other, the buddy hero pair curse of 2nd cour that almost everyone suffered from
lets not even get into that even if they say that yuri is actually fine haha! they cant remove that scene where kotetsu and barnaby stared at him and went like “hmm thats rough buddy... anyway”. what the hell... kotetsu is one of the characters i think of the least and it was just so grossly OOC and just plain disgusting... the entire abuse apologism arc with yuri and lara overall as well
what about that fucking scene with jungle where they implied shady shit was going on when subarus communicator didnt go off and he was recruited as a double for thomas anyways and uhhh (checks notes) literally nothing came out of those plot threads btw. jungle CEO was introduced for no reason
and they cant remove what they did to ouroboros (the way they made it all-powerful illuminati-esque organization instead of plain old corruption etc), and the whole NEXT disease ooohhh-thing, and the literal internment camps and the various deeply bigoted implications thereof plus lackluster new character designs (oops! almost all white, pale-haired and blue/green-eyed).
how could they bounce back from this and do i even want to see them try to ignore OR try to grapple with any of the above. oooh when i get my hands on the people who were in the writers room...............
cant they just please retcon that my favourite character fucking exploded to ten thousand small pieces. excited for scraps of my fav characters like usual but then?.. its also like spitting in my face after all the shit they pulled. put me out of my misery
#tiger and bunny#im trying to think of things that are less bad than current life happenings so im just thinking about tnb#devastating yet way less bad than my life rn
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How about we try reincarnating/isekaiing someone who isn't a salaryman or otaku NEET
Let's isekai a jock who cant believe this shit is happening, someone who doesn't know about anime or game tropes and doesn't immediately assimilate to the new world
Someone who won't just ignore their past life to the point where viewers even forget they're from another world because it just isn't relevant
Isekai has a lot of potential but they keep using the same rinse and repeat tired dry formula
Isekai people and not have others swoon and randomly fall at their feet for absolutely no reason despite the MCs having personalities as flavourful as the sand in the sandbox at the play park
Isekai more women, old people, little kids, uh college students maybe? I don't think I've ever seen a college student be isekaied before
Where's "I Just Wanted To Get My Degree In Archeology But Now The Prince From Another World Won't Stop Proposing Because He Thinks I'm A Goddess"?
Where's "Grandpa Retired But Fell Down A Hole So Now He's The Ultimate Baker In Another World"?
Where's "My Parents Hired A Fairy To Come To My Birthday Party But It Ended Up Being The Real Deal And Now I'm Stuck In Another World"?
Where's "I Scour This New World, Searching For A Way Home"?
Personally, "I Don't Have Time For An Adventure, I Need To Be Back By Dinner" sounds like a charmer to me.
Down with lookalike bland harem protagonists with no personality, dimensions and the exact same jobs (or in the case of the lack thereof)/hobbies (gaming, or however they want to spin it). Heck, these guys are basically all going to the same worlds as well so they've basically all got the same stories too. A shame.
This is why people hate isekai, which I think is a shame really, cuz I love the concept. Just,, I prefer to cherry pick the genre for gems
Side note: let isekai protags say weird shit that no one understands because
👏 cultural 👏 barrier 👏
C'mon, this is a different world, there's gotta be some basic stuff the protag might say and be met with blanket stares
Like in re zero apples are called appas
Totally small stupid and inconsequential but u look stupid af if u call it anything but an appa
Now, if u were reincarnated and had to grow from a child, I suppose u would have time to assimilate to the culture.
Ugh, but I wish they would let reincarnations stay kids longer. If their old world is gonna become obsolete, I want to see them slowly lose that. Forget people's faces, the names of their coworkers, what street they lived on. Forget the smell of their favourite flower, the taste of their favourite food. Forget what the texture of jeans feel like. Make me feel emotions.
Let's see them weird out their new parents by not being used to the New World's culture. Let's see people shrug off them accidentally talking about stuff because wowiee, kids say the darnest things
Stop having isekai kids gather 10 wives at the tender age of 9 :)
I like the MC of the webcomic "The Beginning After The End" 's stance on the dubious subject of having romantic relationships as a reincarnator (or at least, I like it so far. I'm mid 100s into the comic so idk if they about to switch up)
Basically the MC died as an adult so he sees all the kids "his age" as children and he even said a line about how he would be a criminal if he got romantic with one of the girls who like him 🤣
I guess it's up to self perception? Like, this body is 13 but my brain is 45. Which am I actually, then?
Let reincarnators be confused about this as well, cuz even irl people debate this a whole lot (cuz it's just one of those "well, technically" things. I think the fact that we even have to go "technically" to excuse it is a bit of an ouch tho)
I'm open to other views and counter arguments on any of the things I've just said, tbh. These are just some things I think are missed opportunities. Like, people will keep watching and watching it even if it's the same thing (why do you think there's so many "Peter Parker's Field Trip To Stark Industries" fics? People will continually consume the same thing slightly tweaked if they like the premise enough). I just think changes to how we approach isekai might bring in some new viewership and increased positive opinions on the genre
Also, the comically long titles are a fun thing but I know some people abhor them. They want titles that are creative and don't basically just summarise the show's premise. Because, with a title like that, it shows a lack of creativity and ingenuity. Not to say that it needs to be toned down all the way, just reduced to keywords.
"Undead Unluck"
"Spy x Family"
"Dragon Ball"
"First Night With The Duke"
"Little Shop Of Horrors"
"Villain To Kill"
"Pride & Prejudice"
"Cirque Du Freak"
"Mirror Image"
(Yes, I did just write down the names of random things I like. 3 animes, 3 books, 2 webcomics and a,, movie/play(?) I watched it as a play, anyways. okay, the 3animes is kind of a lie, I'm impatiently waiting for undead unluck to come out as an anime. ive never consumed any content for it but the trailer)
These titles give you a vague idea of important symbols/things in the narrative, no? But you don't know exactly was going to happen.
But I'm only speaking for some people, I find the long titles to be funny and a bit intriguing. Of course, I wouldn't mind some good old fashioned original names being brainstormed. These thoughtlessly long titles allow all these different producers to just pump out what is, at its core, basically the same ideas, just switched up a bit so the homework doesn't look copied
#anime#isekai#rants n rambles#anime rant#ridiculously long titles#story ideas#half joking#suggestions#people are getting sick of it#the same thing#over and over#spice it up#not just teenage NEET gamer boys who couldn't give a fcuk about reality#though I will mention that#re zero#did an excellent job at making subaru not just one of those guys#I like that he has a personality#and I thought that#naofumi#from#shield hero#was really sweet at the start.. kinda wish he stayed like that but the spin off exists so I'll just live vicariously through that#I like#that time i got reincarnated as a slime#mikami satoru (? I think that's how u spell it) was a really charming down to earth funny kind of guy even b4 he died#and its not as if his past life was forsaken#its a simple show#but I think it does the trick#thank you for coming to my rant#sorry for the ramble
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What were the hamkids relationship with slavery like?
I can't find much on Alexander Jr, but according to The Hamiltonian Tradition in the United States, 1804-1912, when James was writing in the newspaper advocating for the use of black regiments against the Confederacy, Alexander offered to volunteer and lead one. Although he was like 77 years old, so of course it didn't actually happen.
James's early stage of politics was... pretty bad. Back when he was a member of the Democratic Party (And a pretty big Jackson fan), and was pro-states rights; he tried to argue that slavery was Constitutional. Although thank the Gods, around 1840, James switched to become a Whig. And then when the Civil War broke out, he became an early supporter of emancipation and was an abolitionist.
“The following pages relate to the most interesting period of my life—the Rebellion. I was sternly opposed to slavery because I knew it to be a great crime and a great evil to the oppressor as well as the oppressed. I had learned this from the writings of the wise and good men of all times. [...] I also learned, from a thorough examination of the Constitution and the history of its formation, that much was yielded to slaveholders in order to secure the adoption of the Constitution by the Southern States, and thus to secure the union of all the States, but without establishing slavery or doing more than recognizing the fact that ‘persons were held to service and labor in certain States by the laws thereof.’ And it was well understood, that slavery should not be interfered with directly by the Free States. I therefore did not permit myself to become an abolitionist. As soon, however, as the Slave States threw off their allegiance, freed from my constitutional obligations, I became a most determined abolitionist, and prepared by all means in my power to abolish slavery throughout the land. How useful I was in this direction, or in any other, in sustaining the government, these pages will indicate. My whole time and all my faculties were directed to the work; stimulated by the con- viction that should we abolish slavery and crush the rebellion, cost what it might, we should thus be made a wiser, better, and happier people, and a much more powerful nation, among other reasons, because ‘the Union of the States would be perpetuated.’”
(source — Reminiscences of James A. Hamilton)
In the November of 1864, towards the end of the Civil War, John Church wrote a speech entitled“The Slave Power Its Heresies and Injuries to the American People”. He talks about slavery's large influence on the origins and development of the government, and also on how the Southern states insistence on perpetuating their “peculiar institution” nearly proved the undoing of the Constitution.
“The public deeds of public men are the property of the public, and whether good or evil, are living lessons to those who come after them.”
(source — Loyal Publication Society of New York)
William owned a slave, who was a black man called “Black Davie”, but his actual name and identity are unknown. Muldoon claims that Davie didn't do much labor, and instead stood aside as William himself worked away in the mines. If this is true, it is likely Davie worked more indoors, as Edgar (William's grand nephew that lived with him while Edgar's mother did) mentions that Davie was a sort of babysitter when his mother wasn't around;
“Black Davie used to ‘tote’ me around and take entire care of me in my mother's absence.”
(source — Alexander Hamilton's pioneer son; the life and times of Colonel William Stephen Hamilton; 1797-1850, by Sylvan Joseph Muldoon)
Although William's opinion on slavery isn't fully know due to the lack of surviving papers, he was a loyal and strong-headed Whig, so one can assume like many Whigs; he opposed slavery despite his actions. He was also close political partners with Henry Clay, who also opposed slavery despite some of his hypocrisy and racist ideologies.
Phil II was also said to have been a “mild abolitionist” according to, his second son, Allan. The Underground Railroad was a network of clandestine routes and safe houses established in the United States during the early-to-mid-19th century. It was used by enslaved African Americans primarily to escape into free states and Canada. Phil assisted the Underground Railroad in the escape of at least one slave by concealing the fugitive in his cellar until he could safely resume his travel to Canada, as Allan says;
“I recall this very well, for my brother and I saw a very black and ragged man in the cellar who was being fed by my father himself, and kept until such time as he could safely resume his journey. The mystery of why he was in our house, for which no explanation was given at the time, impressed us then intensely, and our imaginings, it is needless to say, ran riot. After President Lincoln’s great proclamation we were told all, but it was not until after my father’s death in 1884 that Mr. Dana referred in the Sun to the latter’s many acts of self-sacrificing kindness in this direction.”
(source — Recollections of an Alienist, Personal and Professional, by Allan McLane Hamilton)
Holly also seemed to have owned slaves, but it was likely her husband doing or just to have some assistance and care while she was a widow. From her phrasing, it sounds as though she also opposed the idea;
“I have just been interrupted by my poor little slave girl who takes every opportunity to come and see me – Poor creature, she seems to love no one save me! Poor girls, she was glad to take a piece of bread to help out her evening meal at her hard stinting task master’s, as she dared not stay, long enough, to eat her supper in my kitchen or even from my table, as I offered it. What will God do for these people – will He not take them from this, their Egypt, as He did the Isrealites of Old! And shall we not be punished if we be not willing to let them go?”
(source — Eliza Hamilton Holly to Catherine Van Rensselaer Schuyler Malcolm Cochran, [December 16, 1856] . Via; @hamiltonschuylercollection )
Frances Antill, a little girl the Hamilton's adopted after her father's death in the mid-1780s, went on to marry Arthur Tappan, a prominent abolitionist.
#amrev#american history#jackson era#alexander hamilton jr#james alexander hamilton#john church hamilton#william s hamilton#william stephen hamilton#william hamilton#black davie#eliza hamilton holly#eliza hamilton#frances antill tappan#frances antill#slavery#history#hamilchildren#hamilton family#hamilton kids#hamilkids#hamilton children#asks#sincerely anonymous#Cicero's history lessons#philip hamilton ii#allan mclane hamilton
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what's this aco himym fic huh!!
kate i don't know how much you know about ac odyssey from whatever the hell i or anyone else you follow has posted about the game in the last however long it's been since it came out, so i am very very sorry if none of this makes any goddamn sense.
OKAY FIRST OF ALL i need to say that i have literally never in my life watched a single episode of himym and i do not intend to and i know nothing about it except i'm aware that people have Opinions on how it ended. it has barely fuckall to do with this fic, except that i just cannot think of a fitting title.
the short summary is that this is a kassidas fic where for some reason (have yet to figure this out) brasidas ends up with custody of elpidios and tells him all about how he and kassandra met, how their relationship developed, and how they came to be where they are now (hence the filename).
the long summary is i got WAYYYYY too ambitious with this fic and it mutated from being like a cutesy little wish-fulfillment love story to a full-blown fix-it fic where i want to address most if not all of my most vexing plotholes in ac odyssey, ranging from plot points that make no sense, to character interactions or lack thereof that had zero closure, to a complete rewrite of the very bad no good comphet dlc. and although i hated how the game handled the forced romance between kassandra and natakas, i do think there is/want to see if i can find a way to make their relationship more complex and messy and interesting by removing the romance of it but just making him a more fleshed-out character. part of my worry is that the dlc is so reviled (with good reason) across the fandom that this premise is dead on arrival anyway and no one will like it, not even myself. but at the same time, i still want the endgame of this fic to be kassidas-focused, because they are my everything and to me there is no ac odyssey without them*, and so i have to figure out a way to write some kind of weird love/parental triangle between the three of them even though i fucking hate triangles**
i waver back and forth between the himym-ness of it being due to the fact that for whatever reason kassandra is no longer in elpidios' life (thus bringing it closer to official game canon), or just waving a gigantic middle finger to ubisoft and letting kassandra actually be a mother to her son whom she loves so so much and barely got to spend any time with, but she's understandably pretty tight-lipped about her past because she's aware of the heaps and heaps of generational trauma that's plagued her family and wants to break that cycle, so it's up to brasidas to spill the tea.
another layer of complexity/difficulty in writing all of this is that i imagine elpidios to be around 7 when the story starts, because that's the same age kass was when she lost her family, so then that age becomes sort of symbolic as a milestone. which means there's also the issue of not a whole lot of ac odyssey being appropriate for a kid of that age. like, graphic violence and dark themes aside... i can't really have it be like "yeah and after decapitating korinth's biggest meanest crime lord your mother flipped me over and pegged me six ways to [whatever the ancient greek equivalent of sunday is]" and just... yeah. i don't know. i still think about what i want to do with this fic often, but i think there's a very good reason why i have barely even opened it in almost 2 years.
*this made me giggle as i typed it out bc actual historical spartan general brasidas has like 15 minutes total of screentime in a 100+ hour game. but it's also not a joke because despite all that (and also getting fucking killed at the battle of amphipolis) he still had more chemistry with kassandra than any of the other like 15 actually-romanceable characters in the game.
**another tongue-in-cheek joke/double entendre because it's revealed in the game that pythagoras who did all that triangle math equation stuff is kassandra's biological father and an absentee, deadbeat one at that. fuck that guy fr
#thank you kate!!! i hope you enjoyed this can of worms <3#this wip is truly such a mess and idk if it will ever see the light of day but tbh i am proud of myself for not deleting it yet lol#ask games
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You know, I love close benbaro. They both deserve physical affection, deep late night talks over dinner and wine, a spontaneously dropped affirmation or compliment, strolls through the manor gardens with linked arms.
But I've been thinking about the fact that they're actually apart most of the time.
I imagine that van Zieks feels like he has a duty to stay in London, or Britain, to prosecute. It's the path that his brother wanted to walk, the path Barok chose for himself and after everything, it is still his calling. On the contrary, Albert is hard to keep in place. Perhaps the only thing that glues him to one location is money, or the lack thereof. His passion and curiosity drive him to the newest scientific advancements, to the best research site, from city to city, across borders and oceans.
And oh does my brain romanticize that distance.
The relief and joy van Zieks must feel when hearing "Master, a new letter from Professor Harebrayne arrived", the excitement in Albert when seeing the postman stop by his apartment. They keep their exchange secured in the lockable drawers of their desks, often rereading past passages, tracing the other's handwriting with a serene smile, realizing each time that there is someone out in this world that, no matter the distance, puts care and love into penning these words.
And the reunions. Albert steps off the ship and has no trouble spotting van Zieks in the crowd at the docks as van Zieks immediately recognizes him in the mass of disembarking passengers and a wave of warmth washes over them. They hurry to each other and for the first time in months, they're so close again but sadly, they have to contain themselves. Not here, not now, not with all these people around.
They make their way to the waiting carriage, trying to pass the time with chatting about the journey and to not give in to the craving of the missed contact. And then finally, the luggage is stored and the carriage door closes and they're alone.
Albert flings his arms around van Zieks's neck, pulling him close and holding him closer, letting out all the affection he's stored over all the time apart, and when they part, van Zieks cradles Albert's face in his hands, brushes his thumb over his cheek, relishing the fact that the man he loves is under his fingertips again, and says, "I'm so glad you're here."
Now, there is, for some reason, a very specific scene that keeps playing on my mind.
They're alone, standing on the terrace in silence, simply enjoying the sunset and each other's company. After a final contemplation, van Zieks takes his Albert's hand between his own. "Albert," he says, facing him. "Throughout time and despite the distance, you've been by my side and I couldn't thank you enough. I love you and always will, I'd be happy to spend the rest of my days as your partner... I ask you to marry me.
I know I can't keep you, I would hate to have you settle somewhere for my sake. Besides, it's impossible legally. I simply want our marriage to be a reminder that no matter where you go, no matter where I go, my doors are always open. You'll always have a home in me."
#this post took me like five years (/hyp) to make because my brain just went OTIUSHAGSHSHHSHSGSHGD the entire time and would not form any#coherent thoughts#anyway they have a wedding in the manor gardens and the whole cast is invited and since at least van Zieks can't really wear the ring#without questions being asked he wears it as a pendant around his neck#*the oc that randomly popped into my head while planning the benbaro wedding and thinking of who provides the music falls out of a closet*#oops haha nothing to see lmao *shoves him back in*#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#dgs#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#benjamin dobinbough#benbaro
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The Letters from Watson situation and you bringing up that being exposed to bigotry over time normalizes it reminds me of a situation where I was hurt because someone didn't tw for bigotry. I watched the Nanny a lot as a young kid and when Matt Baume did a video essay about it and it's roots in queer culture I decided to try and re-watch it. When I actually went to watch it, I was floored by the sheer scale of fatphobia presented. It wasn't a jab here or there every other episode, it was a barrage of fatphobia in every episode, baked into the text. I tried to hold out, to see if I could ignore it, but eventually found myself in tears as a chubby child actress was berated on screen for comedic effect. But what really scared me was... The show was getting to me. I was starting to see the thin but less petite elder daughter as fat, when I wouldn't have before. The show was changing my perspective despite my best efforts to not let it get to me. Fatphobia is not comparable to anti semitism, but this taught me that, if you are going to present a piece of media, or analyze it, not mentioning or warning for bigotry is irresponsible at best, and endorsement at worst. I'm still a bit irritated that fatphobia wasn't mentioned even once in the essay. I'm really sorry this backlash is happening over a very reasonable reaction. :/
Mmm, actually I think most kinds of bigotry are very comparable.
Not universally, no. But, in general? People benefit from comparing them. Solidarity is often built on learning the things we have in common first, so that we can better help respect and protect each others' different needs, interests and abilities.
Just off the top of my head, for example, fat people and Jewish people are both characterized as greedy, and in fact, Jewish people are often specifically characterized as fat.
But that's REALLY off topic, haha.
In this case, while there were some warnings made about a month ago (apparently these warnings were repeated if you use the email reader, but I do read on the website, where the warnings are not repeated), and while I was aware of the content going in, my issue is, again, not with the existence or lack thereof of the TW list.
As I have. Repeatedly and constantly said. I think the TW list is lovely. It's great. It's very complete. Nice work everyone. No one has any problems with the TW list. No one has ever had any problems with the FUCKING. TW. LIST.
THE PROBLEM. IS WITH. THE UNHINGED. ANTISEMITISM. IN RESPONSE. TO THE MOST MILQUETOAST. IMAGINABLE. POST. EVER. MADE.
Here's the breakdown.
20 y/o Jewish woman: Gosh, even with the trigger warning a whole month ago that imo was really not enough, that sure was some antisemitism. I would prefer to see more pushback on such intense racism in the future, but it is early days. Sure hope things get better as we go!
Me, 30+ Jewish person: Haha, yeah, reminded me of how much it hurt to read when I was a kid. Glad I've got bigger problems to worry about nowadays lol.
Every gentile within earshot: OH SO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CODDLE YOU POOR LITTLE JEWBABY FEELINGS HUH? WE SHOULD CENSOR ART FOR YOUR PRECIOUS WIDDLE OWIES? YOU WANT YOUR TO PRE-DIGEST YOUR WORDS BECAUSE YOUR SUBHUMAN JEW BRAINS CAN'T READ? KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
Me, again: Okay, well. That is an extreme fucking reaction so let's fucking calm our asses down with the goddamn nazi shit for ten fucking minutes, perhaps????
And then the gentiles devolved into further screaming about how I'm, I don't know...
They seem to have convinced themselves of a lot of things at this point. The ones willing to put their names on it are mostly content to call me anything from a liar to a harasser to an imbecile incapable of reading, to someone with a personal hatred of the Substack operator, etc etc.
They seem broadly convinced that I "want" something or to impose on the substack. Which is nonsense. All I "wanted" was to read some books I liked with a group of people and discuss, and that ship has thoroughly fucking sailed.
The anonymous bitches are mostly wandering into blood libel at this point. Again, I used to post all my anon threats, but I stopped doing that once bigots got smart enough to start reporting me for spam when I did that, because victims showing their harassment in public is, of course, the real harassment.
They also seem not to be aware of a very simple fact:
I can still see your comments in my notifications page if I'm the OP, even after you've blocked me, and it is very fucking obnoxious.
#answered asks#themetafarers#A sstudy in semiticss#anti semitism#antisemitism#letters from watson blacklist/#holmes
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trauma and anxiety dump ayyy
so i am having a big anxiety response to...a lot of things.
i have issues with feeling food-secure even when we have plenty in the house. I am anxious about housing in general and moreso when there's a need to have technicians come fix something or when the lease cycle is looping back around.
I fear being a burden. i fear abandonment and having folks be upset with me and it being a building resentment that suddenly explodes and i'm caught off guard and shunted off to the side because i am no longer useful or helpful or needed or wanted.
i have a lot of anxiety around car troubles and anything to do with car maintenance.
not all of these fears are currently relevant but i'm still having them and i think that's important to acknowledge.
i fear being seen as unreliable or flaking out or incompetent. these ones are not helped by the fact that these particular things have been said to me on various occasions by multiple people (who i have been assured might not be the best folks to listen to but it's in there and i can't get it out).
i'm disabled. i am VERY neurodivergent, and not just in the Acceptable Ways. and there are just some things i cannot do. or some days will be more difficult than others.
and i know those are the root causes for incidents leading to my current fears, and it concerns me that even though now they are known and accounted for that they will contribute to my being...well whatever ends up happening to me. but like in a negative way that reinforces my fears.
cause like...they very well could contribute to my being safe and secure and loved and cared for/about. but the track record on that for me so far is Not Great Actually and frankly I don't have...a lot of experience with Good Interactions with folks. I have some, don't get me wrong! i have friends who have shown me support, 2 have done so for Actual Decades at this point which is wild to think about my life in terms of multiple decades of remembered experiences but like. It's True.
but also the people who were supposed to care for me, to care about me, unconditionally...didn't. and there have been more than a handful of folks who just...ditched me when i wasn't good enough for them. My work ethic has only been criticized, despite multiple instances of working myself until burnout - mental, emotional, physical or all three at once. It's just that I can't...do it in a way a neurotypical/abled person can. so it doesn't count.
i fear consequences. i fear consequences of actions both taken and not taken. I fear punishment.
I fear judgement, that i will not live up to expectations, or that i will disappoint, or that i will just...be bad? it's hard to put into words but I just don't feel like...like i'm good enough i guess. That like whatever i bring to the table will either be so bad that it's ignored or it will be so blatantly Wrong to everyone else that I will be ostracized and punished and humiliated in order to correct it. And if I can't correct it then I will be Alone Forever.
Isolation is something i'm all too familiar with - both self-imposed and by happenstance and used as a tool to get me to behave right. a lot of my life has been lived alone. it's not that i can't do it i just...also can't do it anymore. i don't enjoy it, i don't find the solace in complete isolation anymore. I don't know that i ever really did, but I was used to it.
And so now I fear it. because i can't do it anymore. and i am afraid that it is looming around the corner (there is no reason for me to feel this way currently, it just is Here Right Now).
Admittedly it is the tail end of my period, it's the month of May which is not generally a great time for me mentally, and I'm struggling with some Not So Positive family thoughts and interactions (or lack thereof). So this is probably the compounding of those factors. but yeah. i'm just. having a time.
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{ suddenly feeling very introspective right now; i'm not sure if this qualifies as "negative" when i'm more trying to discuss an observation i've made about myself being in this space, but just in case, there's that warning.
as much as i've been digging tumblr rp so far, i admit one of my least favorite parts of it is how... by the nature of our writing being public, it have a certain way of skewing your partners' view of your activity and interest, and vice versa.
it can be easy to fall into the very false yet very painful notion that, certain partners responding to others more frequently — or maybe more promptly — than they do you, means that said partners don't "value" you as much— that there may be something lacking with your writing and/or your portrayal that make you less desirable, that perhaps people are just... continuing to write with you out of pity or novelty.
when of course, the likelihood of the above being true is (or should be) pretty small! you don't write with partners whom you don't actually want to write with. sure, you may have partners whose writing styles or portrayals you personally click with more, and there are certain plots and muses that have more of your attention; that's completely reasonable and valid! but, again, at the end of the day, you don't write with anyone whom you don't truly want to write with, period— so why are your partners here, if they genuinely didn't want to write with you?
conversely, if there are threads or dynamics that you are more excited about than others at the moment, you could be prone to either feeling guilty for jumping to them first where your other partners can see you do so, or feeling pressured to get to everything in a way that appears as if you're not favoring certain partners/threads/muses over the others. both of these are just... exhausting to grapple with.
despite the fact that this is a hobby, and the whole point is for you to enjoy yourself. you're allowed to have your preferences, and you're not just allowed to make the most of your experience, but supposed to. any decent partner will be understanding, and will also likely have things they're more excited about at the moment.
it can also be frighteningly easy to forget that roleplaying itself is just a hobby and far from a priority compared to many, many other things, especially the more time and effort you've invested into it: your portrayal, communicating with your partners, the plots and dynamics you've developed with them, and so on. and i feel like this deep emotional investment can, at times, exacerbate the self-disparaging sentiments i've mentioned above.
all that being said: i'm understanding now that it's not only "okay", but important to address these feelings and really analyze the circumstances surrounding them, in order to understand, mainly, that what activity (or lack thereof) in this public space is not necessarily reflective of your partners' views of you as an individual or writer. offline circumstances and limited energy are always a factor and your partners, as their own people, do not exist to roleplay with you. you, as your own person, do not exist to write with everyone at every given time.
#{ idk if im deleting this eventually but im not gonna put in my ooc tag either i think.#{ hopefully my discussing this is like... able to come as a reassurance for people who've been grappling with these strange feelings#{ or maybe some folks who have been at this longer than i have have some tips??? for dealing with them ???#{ ig im writing this largely as. a reminder to myself almost#{ bc this might be part of why i'm having so many doubts lately#negative warning
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Word Vomit 2: W1502
It's funny how one simple decision could change my life path. Was it really destiny though? Was it pure luck? Was it all because of how I am as a person and the people around me that influenced my decision?
It was the November of 2021. I felt so burned out I have been working on my tasks last minute which then results to a subpar output. I was lost, I was tired, I was depressed. Sick and tired with the constant stress and pressure I'm in that time — well, in all honesty, they're still here with me. Anyways, I was truly close to filing LOA (Leave of Absence) so that I can give myself some break mentally and physically. I already have the needed requirements, and all that's left for me to do is to submit everything. However, I didn't push through.
For some reason, I still worry about others. You see, we already have groupings for our midterms and finals. And because of these factors, I thought that all my efforts (or the lack thereof /j I actually worked my ass off) would be discarded. Plus, I wouldn't want to leave my groupmates cause it would probably be a hassle for them. So I stayed. Boy am I glad I did — of course despite my mental health falling apart.
I had no friends in my class so it was difficult for me to pick groupmates or a partner for our projects. But for once, God was I lucky. That time, I didn't have anyone to be grouped or partnered with. So I, of course, messaged the group chat and asked if I could join anyone who's got a group. I hesitated at first, but I had to toughen up a bit or else I would fall behind.
During that time, I was imagining different what ifs. And honestly, one of it is the "What if he'd be the first person to see my message?" or "What if he offers me to work with him?" Thinking about those what ifs, I just laughed it off and shot my shot. In rare occasions, the universe and my angels altogether side with me. And in that moment, those what ifs became a reality. It was a one in a million.
I was first intimidated and worried that I might not do well. I admire your work ethics, I admire how you're able to speak your mind, I just admire who you are. But as time goes by, we got the chance to spend more time together. I was able to know you more. I've learned about your imperfections and you showed me that it's okay to make mistakes. And in that moment, I already knew I was falling harder.
Though I'm not lucky when it comes to these typa things, I'll just let the wind take us to wherever it'll lead us to. With all the possibilities and choices I could've made, I'm so glad that our paths crossed. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I believe I've shown you how much I care and appreciate you. At this point, you probably already have an idea in regards to how I actually feel about you. I know I'm not as slick as I think I am whenever I like someone. I do apologize if I can get confusing, I'm just unsure if your feelings for me.
As much as I want to directly express my feelings for you, I just fear that it might ruin our friendship. Besides the fact that you're my first ever best friend during my college years, I treasure you in my heart that I don't want my feelings to get in the way. However, if the time comes wherein I'm ready to face whatever the consequence may be, I'll finally be honest. But for now, I'll just be admiring you from afar and keep my feelings hidden.
And so, if this don't work out the way I wanted it to, maybe in a parallel universe? But you know what? Regardless of what's gonna happen between us in the future, I'll forever thank the stars and the universe that I at least got to have you in my life.
Looking forward to seeing you in real life some day... For now, we can only settle with zoom calls and movie marathons <3
Ligaya - 6/6/22
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