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#dean memory loss
annmariethrush · 2 months
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Season 10: dean wants to be alive. He wants to retire. He wants to go hang out on a beach with his loved ones. Sam wants to keep hunting. He doesn’t want to “go back” to his “normal life” with a wife and kid and no hunting.
Finale: you’ll never fucking guess what happens
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freudyou · 5 months
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Me defending Dog Dean Afternoon to the jeering masses
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all-yourn · 11 months
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Dean Winchester and Lot’s wife
Feeling Backward: Loss and the Politics of Queer History (2007), Heather Love / 11x21 / In the Dream House (2019), Carmen Maria Machado / Genesis 19:24-26 / 6x20 / The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet (2019), saltyfeathers / 15x18
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memory loss!Dean is very important to me, because the main thing he forgot was his fear, without it and the toxic masculinity that is its symptom, he's so soft and trusting, just chock full of love, this is the Dean Cas sees underneath, the one who forgets to hate himself
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year
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prompt: samifer, "my husband"
(i love your drabbles, by the way)
(oh, that's good, because i love writing them. one of the best parts of my day, really. they're not long enough to stress me out, but the exact 100 word limit is challenging enough to make them fun.)
(and uh also i made two again. lmao. to be fair to me, these are very interlocked. interpreting the prompt a little loosely? i hope it suffices.)
A small detail in the whirlwind of Sam's last day on Earth, that before Lucifer takes him from Detroit, he slides the wedding ring off his former vessel's finger.
That turns out not to have been Sam's last day at all, and then Sam's sitting across from Dean, perfectly fine (something's wrong), and there's a ring on his finger, still.
"Where did you get that?" he asks, like he doesn't already know. He wants an answer that doesn't scare him.
Sam shrugs.
Sometimes he presses the metal to his lips. Not a kiss. Like he wants a taste of grief.
~~~
Sam's wall is broken, and Dean knows, whatever his brother claims, that there's molten metal leaking in, cooling on his skin only to entrap him further. The gold band on his left hand is a constant reminder.
Dean takes it off only once, when Sam's asleep in the passenger seat. He tosses it out the window of the Impala.
That night, he wakes up to Sam kneeling in their motel room. Dean stays still, silent.
A gleam of gold in the dark on Sam's folded hands.
"…until death do us part," he's whispering, head tilted up to meet unseen eyes.
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cassiecasyl · 2 years
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Hi hello hi!! A little late, but I’ve finally posted the fic I promised for @fellshish‘s 30k Dean!
read and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up now on ao3!!!
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typicalopposite · 1 year
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Bragging on @scripted-downfall’s writing once again. What can I say she’s just too good :)
Summary:
Dean gets Cas out of the Empty, but something goes wrong; not *all* of Cas gets out of the Empty. Instead, he’s left with little recollection of the past and a near inability to produce new memories of the future. Angst ensues.
(A Despair fix-it fusion with 50 First Dates from a prompt by typicalopposite)
Link to AO3
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tasveer-e-ishq · 1 year
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new challenge name a spn character that survived winchester derangement syndrome
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frosthexe · 2 years
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Cursed Or Not - Ltleflrt - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]
While experimenting with magic when he was a kid, Sam accidentally cursed Dean. Now, Dean is forced to wear a spelled amulet constantly, or he'll turn into a random animal. For a little over a decade, he's learned to live with the curse, and has even found it useful in some cases, but he sure would be happier without it.
When he meets a witch named Castiel, he's offered a deal. Instead of assuming all witches are bad, Dean can spend a season getting to know him. If at the end of the season, Dean still thinks he's evil Castiel will send him away with his memory wiped of the whole experience. But if he learns that Castiel is not the monster Dean assumes he is, he'll lift Dean's curse.
It's an offer Dean can't bring himself to pass up.
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fivefeetfangirl · 10 months
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The end of the Lisa arc is so sad, but I kinda get why dean decided to wipe their memories. But from a writing room pov it just feels like lazy writing
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samsno1 · 5 months
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One Hell Of An Agent
Sam Winchester x F!Reader
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Summary: After weird deaths start happening and your friend becomes a victim of it, two men appear at your door for questioning and your day turns into the weirdest you've ever lived.
Warnings: SMUT, size kink (if you squint), oral (f. recieving), big d sam (obviously), dean gets forgotten lmao, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), piv, tit sucking, sam is a sweetheart, pet names (doll, baby, beautiful), a bit of body insecurity but, as i said, sam is a gentleman, reader is shorter and overall smaller then sam, use of y/n, NOT PROOF READ, english isn't my first language (if i forgot anything TELL ME)
Read it on AO3
WC: 6.1k
You can learn how to change the "Y/N" for your actual name here
enjoy your meal babies, mwah mwah
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It was supposed to be just another day where you went to work to get pennies in exchange for spending close to 12 hours in front of a computer screen, get back home to drink until you decided you should take a shower and sleep. Then repeat.
You, standing in your living room with a circle of kitchen salt around you and two men who were supposedly FBI agents holding shotguns and the ghost of an old woman trying to kill you, wasn't in your plans.
They both had arrived at your house in suits earlier that day, knocking on your door. You groaned and got up from the couch, leaving your beer bottle settled on the coffee table. Once you opened the door you widened your eyes at the two men standing there.
The taller one greeted himself first. He had a – almost – shoulder length brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes. To say you were shocked at how handsome he looked was an understatement. The shorter one had deep green eyes and short hair, he was pretty too but his partner…
“Hello, I'm Agent Page, this is my partner, Agent Plant” He said, showing you his badge and nodding to Plant, him copying what his partner did.
You furrowed your eyebrows, recognizing the names from the Led Zeppelin band.
“Plant and Page as in…the Led Zeppelin guys?” You questioned and they shared a look. The shorter one stepped foward, giving you a once over, clearly checking you out.
“Just a coincidence Ma'am” He said, smiling at you and you nodded, still a bit skeptical.
You opened the door wider for them both to get in.
“Come in, please. Have a seat” You said, gesturing to the couch and they sat besides each other. Page eyed the beer at the coffee table in front of him and you cringed.
“Sorry, I wasn't expecting the FBI at my door” You chuckled lightly and took the beer bottle to the kitchen in the other room. When you came back, both their eyes were on you and you felt a bit intimidated.
“Well…why are the feds at my house…?” You asked, sitting at the armchair and resting your hands on your lap, fidgeting nervously with your fingers.
Page put his elbows on his knees, his fingers crossing in front of him as he leaned forward to talk closer to you. You took notice of his big frame wondering how someone could be so…wide?
“Miss…”
“Y/N” You filled in the gap.
“Miss Y/N” He said, licking his lower lip with his tongue “We are here to ask about the recent murders around”
“Oh” You said. You knew well about one of the victims, a friend of yours. It had been a little over 2 weeks since her death but you always went with the mantra to keep going no matter what. At the memory of her you felt your throat restrict and you blinked back tears.
Page seemed to notice and put a gentle hand on your knee to comfort you. When you looked up he was smiling slightly and you calmed down.
“We know Beth was your friend and we are sorry for your loss” He said, squeezing your knee “But we'd like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind”
You nodded and looked between the both of them, taking a deep breath.
“Yeah…yeah of course” You said and he nodded, pulling his hand away from you, the warmth still lingering where he had placed it.
“Did you notice any weird behaviors before your friend passed? Like she was distant, cold…?” Plant asked and you made a face trying to remember anything. You recorded a night you two went out
“Five days or so before she died…” You started, turning your head down to stare at your fingers over your lap. “We went to a bar near my house and she kept glancing behind her, nervous, on edge, as if something would jump her at any moment. When I asked her what was wrong she looked at me, terrified, grabbed her things and bolted”
You sighed thinking you should've went with her now that she was gone.
“I tried calling, texting. Nothing. For those five days I didn't hear anything from her then…they called me announcing that she was gone” You started tearing up again and closed your eyes to hold them back.
“She didn't have anyone else, y'know, I should've been there for her, I–” You choked on an inevitable sob and covered your face with your hands. Then you felt the taller man's hand on your knee again, his thumb stroking your leg.
“We are truly sorry, it wasn't your fault” He said, a voice so comforting and calm you felt it in your heart.
You took your hands away from your face and sniffed, letting out a slight chuckle. You felt a bit embarrassed to be crying in front of them both.
“I'm sorry” You said and brushed your hair back with your hand “I think this was it. She was always a very quiet girl but sweet, caring, I couldn't think of anyone that would do this to her”
The men nodded and looked at each other, a silent conversation you weren't a part of. You looked down to see Page's hand still on your knee and you smiled to yourself. What a nice fed.
"Thanks for the information Ma'am" Page said. When they looked back at you, he patted your knee lightly and got up with his partner. You stood up as well to accompany them to the door, them both behind you.
You opened the door and looked at them both going out, your gaze lingering longer on the taller one, looking him up and down.
They turned to you with a tiny card in his hand and gave it to you, your finger brushing against his.
“If you remember anything, give us a call. Thank you for your time” He smiled warmly along with the green eyed Agent.
“Will do, thank you so much” You said, smiling back seeing them walk away to the Impala parked in front of your house.
You kept your gaze locked until they drove away, snapping you out of your daze getting back in your house and locked the door, smiling like an idiot at the image of the handsome guy you just met.
Inside the Impala, Dean kept glancing towards Sam, who had his face buried into the newpaper about the couple murders happening.
“Dude” Dean finally said, a grin on his face. Sam looked up at him and made a questioning face at his side profile.
“What?” He asked
Dean laughed lightly and looked at his brother.
“She was eating you with her eyes” Dean said and at that Sam's full attention was on him, lowering the paper with a confused face.
“Who? Y/N?” He asked and Dean nodded. Sam sighed and rolled his eyes at his brother. “Dean, c'mon” He said.
“I'm serious, the look she gave you when we left, staring you up and down like a feast” Dean laughed mischievously, looking for a couple seconds at Sam's shocked expression. “She's pretty, y'know, if you don't want it, I'll have it”
“Shut up Dean” He said but he couldn't help thinking about your looks towards him and the impulse he felt to comfort you with a hand on your leg when he realized you were upset.
Dean laughed and shook his head at the stubbornness of his brother, driving back to the cheap motel they were staying at.
Your day went by as usual, some couple more beers here, a whiskey there, some movie you had on the TV.
You ended up falling asleep on the couch for a couple hours until about 2AM when you heard a loud thud in your house and your entire body entered fight or flight mode.
You got up and kept your ears trained for any more sounds until you heard your stove, the gas being poured out in your house and the color drained from your face. What the hell?
You went into the kitchen and for sure the smell of the gas hit hard on your nose and you gagged.
Suddenly the door to the kitchen closed behind you and you jumped in shock. Your heart started ringing in your ears and your hands were trembling.
“Hello?! Is anybody there?!” You asked, your voice shaking as you went to the door. Locked. You started to panic, were you crazy? Was this a dream?
There was a noise behind you and you turned, seeing the knife cabinet open and you glued yourself to the door, trying to get the lock open when a kitchen knife started to float up and towards you.
You screamed and banged at the door.
“Help! Someone, please!” You screamed and the knife was plunged in the door, close to your head and your body fell back in the ground, tears rolling down your cheeks when everything stopped.
You slowly got up and tried to open the door. Success. You scrambled out of your kitchen and unlocked the front door, sprinting out of your house terrified.
You remembered the card the Agent gave you. You didn't know if it was okay to call him this late but you just almost died. You thought he could make an exception.
With trembling fingers, you dialed the number on your phone, putting it to your ear. Please pick up, please pick up.
“Hello? Agent Page speaking, who is this?” He said with a gruff voice, he was definitely sleeping and you felt a bit bad for waking him up.
“Agent?” You practically whispered, your voice shaky with fear.
“Y/N?” He recognized your voice and made a confused face, sitting up on the bed. “What's wrong?”
“I– I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have called I–” You spoke fast, nervous. He took notice of that “Something happened” You said simply.
“We are on our way” He said and slipped on his shoes, already on outside clothes. He nudged Dean to wake him up. “Hang in there”
“Okay” You said in a whisper as he turned the call off, biting your thumbnail in order to stay calm in the circumstances.
Dean woke up to see Sam getting his bag ready in a frenze, a worried look in his younger brother's face.
“Y/N called, something happened, she seemed stressed, let's go” He said, throwing Dean his bag, the oldest groaning as he grabbed the keys for the Impala.
As they drove there, Sam couldn't help but get even more stressed the long it took for them to arrive. He wondered if you were okay, if you had gotten hurt, or worse. When they arrived, you were sitting on your porch, legs tucked close to your body as you shivered.
When you heard the noise of the car you got up. The two came out and you were a bit weirded out to see them in normal clothes but relieved nonetheless.
When they got closer you breathed out in relief, the taller of the two coming closer then Plant, grabbing your shoulders and eyeing you up and down, looking for any visible damage.
“Are you hurt? What happened?” He asked and you shook your head at the first question.
“I don't know…If I explain it I'll sound crazy” You said
“Oh, sweetheart, believe me, we know crazy” The green eyed Agent said and you looked at him, the nickname foreign but you brushed it off.
“I was sleeping in my couch when I woke up with a loud bang” You began. “I got up to see that my stove started leaking gas and…when I wnt to the kitchen, the door…It shut behind me, locked” You said, shakily and Page brushed his hand on your shoulder, the same way he had done to your knee earlier “I couldn't get out and a knife started to fucking float, it charged at me, caught the door and then it all just…stopped”
“I was able to leave my house and…call you” She said and looked into his eyes, the comforting gaze seeping into her. “I'm sorry, I know it's late”
“Don't bother, it's fine. Let's try and see how we can help you, okay?” He said
You looked at him, puzzled, tilting your head at him
“You believe me?” You asked and he let out an aired laugh in amusement.
“What if I tell you we aren't truly FBI agents��� He said.
“Oh” You widened your eyes and looked between the both of them, shameful smiles on their faces. “Right”
“Get in, we will explain everything we can to you” He said and you nodded getting inside your house.
After a couple minutes you learned that they were actually brothers, the tall one was named Sam and the shorter was Dean. They told you all about what they did, the family business, how real the supernatural was and tried to explain that you experienced something ghost-like.
You were absolutely dumbfounded as they said all that. It was hard to believe that, how is all of it real if you hadn't seen anything your whole life similar to what they explained to you? Just now?
“Okay so…you both are like…the Ghostbusters?” But hotter. You noted, mentally.
“Basically, yeah” Dean said.
You sat there with your hands over your face. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or cry at the situation.
The brothers walked around with the so called EMFs, machines you learned could sense the presence of ghosts.
You couldn't help but glance at Sam. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, his hair falling around his face and from time to time he bit his lower lip.
You were entranced at how annoyingly handsome he was until loud beeping from Dean's EMF startled you.
Sam whooped his head towards him and they shared silent looks. Sam turned to his bag and got a shotgun out and you widened your eyes at him. He took notice of that.
“They are loaded with rock salt, don't worry” He said and you made a confused face. He smiled at you and your heart skipped a beat. “Let's say…ghosts don't like salt. Salt and iron are their weaknesses” He said and you hummed in acknowledgement getting up and going to your fireplace to get an iron rod.
Sam stared at you as you walked back to him and you shrugged.
“It's iron, you said it could keep them at bay” You said and he nodded.
A loud noise startled all of you, in the kitchen, where Dean was the closest to and he cooked his gun, Sam doing the same and protecting you with his body.
“Stay behind me” He murmured to you and you nodded, iron rod in your hand prepared for any attack.
“Come on you son of a bitch!” Dean said and, as if on cue, the ghost of an old lady appeared in your kitchen and you gasped, recognizing her immediately.
“Mrs. Greene?” You whispered and apparently she heard you because in a moment she was there and in the other she was behind you.
“Y/N, watch out!” Sam yelled in front of you and you turned around, swinging your weapon and making her vanish for a couple of moments.
You were breathing heavily, your ears ringing until Sam snapped you out of your daze, turning you around by grabbing at your arm.
“Are you okay?” He asked, concern laced in his voice as he gave you a once over.
“Yeah, I think” You replied and Dean appeared as quick as possible making a circle of salt around you and Sam stepped out of it, letting your arm go.
“You need to stay there, she can't get you because of the salt” Dean said.
“You know her?” Sam asked and you looked at him, nodding.
“She was Beth's mother. Died in a car accident that…my father caused. Me and Beth bonded through their deaths but I guess her mom didn't really approve of that” You said, smiling sadly to yourself.
“Where is she buried?” Dean questioned.
“The cemetery near the only church in town. About 5 miles from here” You replied and Dean gave Sam a quick nod as he got his bag and gave his brother extra ammunition.
“I'll go do the dirty job, you, protect her, make sure that bitch doesn't kill her” Dean said as he went out the door, shutting it behind him.
You sat on the ground, in the middle of the salt circle, mindlessly playing with the iron rod in your hand. Sam looked down at you. You looked more than upset, understandably.
“Everything is going to be okay” He reassured you and you looked at him with a gentle smile. Until you weren't smiling anymore and instead was looking behind him.
“Sam, behind you!” You said, getting up again and he turned shooting the ghost and she reappeared behind you, outside of the circle.
You turned around, shaking and lifting your weapon at her. She looked down at the salt circle and the creepiest smile you've ever seen opens up in her face, sending shivers down your spine.
Suddenly the windows broke open and a strong gust of wind came in with full force. You covered your head to protect it from the glass until you looked down and the salt circle was broken around you.
Your heart dropped as she started approaching you and Sam shot her again from behind you.
To your dismay, she was behind him again, and before you could warn him about her she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him against a wall.
“Sam!” You screamed and she turned to you again, slowly walking towards your frame and you backed away, the iron rod propped in front of you protectively.
She knocked the rod out of your hand and you looked desperately at it on the ground.
Your back pressed against the wall and you closed your eyes, preparing for your death when she started screaming and you opened your eyes.
She was quite literally burning right in front of you, with her hands reaching for your throat until she was just gone, no burn marks on your ground, weirdly, and her desperation echoed through the house.
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, your heart beating in your ears. You heard a groan and remembered Sam was basically knocked out on the other side of the room.
You rushed to him and kneeled down besides him with a hand on his cheek and the other in one of his knee.
“Sam, are you okay?” You asked as he slowly opened his eyes. When he seemed to retrieve consciousness again he breathed in deeply and scrambled to get up but you held him down by putting a hand on his chest.
“Hey, hey, it's okay, she's…gone, I guess” You said and he focused his eyes on yours when you smiled. You felt your face heat up at the look he was giving you until Dean barged in through the front door, whistling at the mess.
He looked towards both of you on the ground and made a face, holding back a smirk.
“Burned her up…Am I interrupting something?” Dean asked playfully and you felt a tad of embarrassment, helping Sam get up with a grunt.
They started to gather their stuff and you wondered how the hell you were going to clean up your whole house. Glass and salt everywhere, a hole on the wall where Sam was thrown at.
When they were all done you got each a beer. They tried to deny it but you insisted, claiming it was a thank you treat for saving your life.
You finished all your drinks, throwing the bottles away and you walked them to the door, the Impala parked in front of your house. They got out and stood outside as you smiled at them.
“Thank you, again, really, you both saved my life” You said.
“It's nothing, really, we do this everyday” Dean said with a dismissive wave. “I'm going to load the car” Dean said, giving Sam a pat on the back and a look you didn't understand but apparently Sam did, since he gave a deep breath and a practically death glare at his brother, his chest going up and down.
“So…” He started, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
“So?” You nudged, smiling up at him and biting your lower lip. His eyes stared at your mouth and you felt small under his gaze.
“You were amazing back there, you know?” He said, crossing his arms in front of him and smiling. “You knew what to do, few people can do what you did”
He complimented and you looked down, smiling like an idiot. He’s so sweet.
“Oh I just…went by logic I guess, nothing much. You said iron and I reached for iron” You said, fidgeting with your fingers as you looked up again.
“Yeah…” He said, looking from your eyes to your mouth and back up again. You decided to be a bit brave and got into your tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek, holding on his shoulder for support.
When you pulled back he didn't pull away and one of his hands cupped your cheek, looking between your eyes when he leaned into you, his lips against yours in a light kiss.
You responded almost immediately, your hand going to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss and he placed his hands on your waist. You reluctantly pulled away with a hum, dazed by the kiss with your eyes still closed.
When you opened them his eyes were on your face and you felt warm again. He pulled you back in your house and you giggled in surprise when he closed the door, his hand still holding you.
“What about your brother?” You said as he turned his attention back to you, a smirk on his face when he squeezed your waist. He leaned in closer and you held your breath.
“He can wait” He whispered against your lips before kissing you again, this time more intensely then before and you hummed, burying your hand on his hair while the other stroked his chest.
You started taking his jacket off when you stopped and pulled away.
“Is this okay? I mean I'm totally fin–” He cut you off with another mind blowing kiss and you gasped.
He shrugged off his jacket, dropping it to the ground and clasping your face in both his hands.
“Does this answer your question?” He smiled teasingly and you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss his lips again and his hands grabbed your hips in response.
He brushed his tongue against your lower lip and you opened your mouth to let him explore it, moaning lowly against his mouth.
He lowered his hands to the back of your thighs, not breaking the kiss, and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and you yelped in his mouth.
You noted he was big, you just didn't know he was this strong, lifting you in his arms as if you weighed nothing.
He walked to the kitchen and placed you on the counter, his hands going under your shirt and experimenting with his touches on your bare skin.
You whimpered, shivers running through your whole body as his big hands roamed through your burning skin.
You pulled away, your forehead touching his, a whispered “Fuck” coming out of your lips. Your hands went to the hem of your shirt and slowly pulled it over your head, leaving your torso bare besides your bra.
Sam drank you in, his adam apple bobbing when he swallowed and you felt embarrassed under his strong gaze, your hands slowly coming to wrap themselves around your stomach.
He held your wrists gently, pulling them away from you and his hands went up and down your arms.
“Don't hide from me, you're beautiful” He whispered and started to leave kisses down your neck, nibbling and biting where he noticed you liked the best with the noises leaving your mouth.
Your hand wrapped in his hair to pull him back to your lips, his kisses addicting like a drug.
He pulled away again to pull his shirt over his head, revealing his defined torso and your jaw physically dropped at the sight. He had some scars, some pale, old, others a pink tone, more recent but it just made him look even better, showing how much he had lived through. He chuckled at your reaction and settled his hands on your hips again, gently squeezing.
“See something you like?” He teased and you closed your mouth, your hands reaching slowly to touch his bare chest. He gasped at your feather-like touch on his tanned skin and you looked at him again, his eyes dark with desire.
“You're…stunning, like– I knew you were…muscular…from the get go but you're…” You trailed off and he chuckled, a bit embarrassed and leaned down to crash his lips against yours again.
His hands went to your back and unclasped your bra, helping you take it off and toss it on the ground along with the rest of your clothes.
His hands came to the front and grabbed at both your breasts, squeezing them and making you moan into his mouth. His fingers teased at your hardened nipples and you arched into his touch.
His mouth started trailing down towards your neck, your collarbone, until he got to the valley of your breasts and looked up at you. Your mouth was open, eyes hazed and deep breaths were making your chest go up and down. What a sight.
He closed his mouth into one of your nipples and you whined, the warmth of his tongue circling around it making you grasp at his locks with a certain strength that made him groan around your skin. His fingers teased the other breast until he switched sides, feasting on your breasts.
“Sam…” You gasped his name and he hummed in acknowledgement of your plea, pulling away from your breast with a smile. “Please”
He gave your lips a peck and went down your body again, leaving open mouthed kisses down your stomach until he got to the waistband of your jeans and looked at you again, asking for permission and you nodded at him.
His fingers popped open the button of your pants and opened the zipper. You lifted your hips to help him pull the clothing off and he dragged it down your legs slowly, drinking you in.
You felt a shiver run down your spine at his hungry gaze on your frame when his eyes noticed your soaked underwear.
He discarded your pants and ran his hands up your legs, his look never leaving your covered pussy. His hands stopped at your thighs as squeezed the flesh and you closed your legs instinctively.
He looked up at you and pried your legs open with his hands.
“What did I say about hiding from me?” He said, his tone deep and dominant making you swallow a whine as you spread your legs wider and he settled between them with a smirk.
He kissed your covered sex and you let out a low moan, his mouth traveled to your inner thighs, biting and kissing at the flesh, driving you insane.
“Please…” You begged, grabbing at his hair and he hummed.
“So desperate” He said against your skin, grasping your panties and pulling them down. You gasped at the cold air hitting your dripping core and he groaned at the sight.
He cupped your whole cunt with his hand, making your hips buck up into his touch and a low moan left your throat.
“Beautiful” He whispered and gave your thigh one last kiss. “Tell me if it's too much, okay?” He said and your heart melted.
“Okay” You breathed out and he smiled up at you. He took his hand away and you almost frowned when his lips wrapped around your clit and you moaned, bucking your hips against his mouth.
He smirked against you and put one hand over your hips to hold you still as he did wonders against your cunt. His tongue eating you out as if you were his last meal, ripping loud moans from your throat.
“Oh, fuck” You moaned, pulling at his hair “Sam– God” He hummed and groaned against your pussy sending jolts of pleasure through you.
He teased your hole with his finger, slowly entering you and stretching you out, hooking up and rubbing right at that spot and you moaned loudly.
“Jesus, fuck, right there– Shit” A string of curses left your mouth and he grinned proudly, adding another finger to your torture, making you cry out, his name slipping out of your lips.
You felt the knot inside of you tighten, your pussy clenching around his fingers and Sam knew you were about to cum.
“Cum for me, doll” He said and quickened his movements against you and your moans got louder.
“Fuck!” You groaned loudly as you finally came against his lips, your orgasm hitting you like a truck, your eyes closing in bliss, your fingers tightening in Sam's hair.
He helped you ride your orgams until the stimulation got almost painful and you started to try and close your legs.
“T'much, Sam–” You moaned and he pulled away, your juices shining against his face as he got up from his knees and grasped your waist tightly, smashing his lips against you, the foreign taste of yourself lingering on his tongue as he attacked your mouth.
“Taste as sweet as you look” He praises and you smirked.
You glance down at his still covered legs and crotch, the tent in his pants looked almost painful and you bit your lip. He noticed that and took you in his arms again, wrapping your legs around his hips, making your sensitive core grind against his jeans and you whined.
“As much as I'd like to bend you over that table and fuck you senseless” He said, getting closer to your ear and whispering: “I want to fuck you on a bed to see your cockdrunk face when I make you cum”
You shivered, not expecting these words coming out of his mouth and you attacked his neck with kisses and bites.
“My bedroom is down the hall, on the right” You mumbled against his skin, breathless, and he carried you to the room, his hands squeezing and digging in your ass as you continued marking his skin.
He gently placed you on the bed, kissing your lips hungrily and you led one of your hands down to his crotch, palming him through his jeans and he pulled away from your lips to groan, his forehead against yours.
“Fuck me, Sam” You breathed out and he kissed you one last time before standing up and unbuckling his belt and opening his zipper, dropping his pants to the ground and taking off his shoes.
You were staring, eating him with your eyes as he took off his boxers teasingly slow, stepping out of them and looking at your face for a reaction.
Your mouth watered and your pussy clenched around nothing. He was big. You expected him to be large, he was tall after all but you still were very shocked and wondered if you'd be able to take it all.
Sam seemed to notice your worries and grasped your chin to give your lips a comforting kiss. He wasn't cocky but he was aware of his size and knew it could be intimidating.
“We'll go slow, baby, if you want to stop, just say” He assured you and you felt all fuzzy and warm on the inside. It was hard to find men that actually cared and it seemed like you hit the jackpot with Sam. You nodded and he crawled over you, smashing your lips against his again.
He rubbed his cock up and down a couple times and lined it up with your entrance making you whine in anticipation. He slowly pushed into you and you pulled away to let your mouth hang open in a soundless moan.
Sam made sure to distract you from the pain, rubbing your thighs up and down and kissing your neck and collarbones. It took everything inside him to not pound into you. You tightened around him deliciously and he pressed his forehead against your shoulder.
“You feel so fucking good Y/N, God” He whisper-moaned against your ear and you hummed, your nails digging into his shoulders, definetly leaving marks to remind him for a couple days of this encounter.
“I feel so full, it feels so good” You moaned breathy as he was almost all the way inside you, his kisses soothing your hot skin, his fingernails marking your hips as he held back to let you adjust to his size once he was all the way inside.
You felt him in your throat and it took you a couple of moments to let the pain turn into pleasure and Sam was willing to wait as long as you needed.
When you finally stopped feeling the pain of the stretch you wiggled your hips against his cock and grabbed his cheek to give him a messy kiss.
“You can move, please” You said and he pulled back and forth, both of you moaning at the feeling, his dick hitting deeper than you thought was possible.
“Y/N” Sam moans against your shoulder, his strokes inside you making his whole body tremble with the tightness. His hand roams down your body until it reaches your lower stomach. He presses his hand down against your skin and you moan loudly. He grins, his breathing heavy as his hair makes a curtain around his face.
“Oh– fucking God!” You practically scream, your eyes rolling back as your nails scratch at his shoulder. He felt impossibly deeper and he quickened his thrusts, your whole body going limp and your mouth letting out incoherent babbles and moans of his name.
He was panting as he held himself up in his elbows to look at your fucked out face, kissing your cheeks and your lower lip.
“You look so pretty like this” He said against your skin as he kept his thrusts steady and deep. "I told you I wanted to look at your pretty face...when you came undone under me."
You felt your skin tingle, your body trembling and that familiar feeling on the pit of your stomach like a fire lighting up.
"The looks you were giving me..." He groaned against your skin, his hips sttutering as his orgasm came closer "I wanted to make those beautiful eyes roll back the moment I saw you" He admitted, giving your neck a harsh bite, definetly leaving a mark.
“Sam!” You moaned out, your hand tangling itself into his hair. “I'm cumming” You warned and he quickened his pace and your head shot back, exposing your throat to him.
“Cum for me beautiful” He said, leaving a hickey just below your jaw.
You unraveled below him with a loud moan of his name, your heels digging into his ass. A few more thrusts and Sam pulled out, stroking his cock one, two, three times until he came over your stomach, groaning and panting your name.
You looked at his face, sweat sticking some hairs on his face, his eyes closed, mouth agape and his hair a mess thanks to your hands.
You smiled in a daze and traced your fingers over his face and he opened his eyes, catching you already looking back at him. He leaned down and kissed you passionately for a couple seconds until he pulled away and stood up to go to your bathroom.
He came back with a wet towel to clean you up, gentle in your sensitive sex then he left the towel on the bathroom sink and layed down on the bed beside you again, pulling you into his chest and kissing the crown of your head.
You hummed as he wrapped his arms around you, massaging your sore muscles.
“That was…” You said, not finishing. No words were able to describe what you felt.
“Yeah, it was” He confirmed, smiling.
You snuggled into his chest, your hand tracing mindless patterns against his skin. Then you started to chuckle and he looked down at you.
“What?” He said with a hint of a laugh behind his tone.
“Your brother must be pissed” You said between laughs and he started to laugh too, feeling his chest vibrating against your cheek as his hand stroked your upper arm.
“I don't care, this, you, was worth it” He said and you looked up at him with a shy smile, not knowing what else to say.
After a while of silence between the two of you you started to think a bit.
“You're leaving town soon, right?” You asked and he hummed an affirmation. You hid your frown from him. “You're welcome back anytime, you know that, right?"
You said but didn't look at his face when you felt him looking down at you and he squeezed your arm as if to say I know.
You started to fall asleep against his steady breathing, your eyes heavy.
As you were almost sleeping you felt him leave a kiss on your forehead.
“I will” He whispered and you smiled to yourself, letting yourself fall asleep in his embrace.
A/N: Notes and reblogs encourage me to keep writing. Feedback makes those writings better. Thank you for reading. Xoxo
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iamnotmereally · 1 year
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I saw the word light stick in a question and immediately went 'yeah i know what that is. A lamp' and then i remembered it's physics and not supernatural and they mean a not-heavy stick
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genderkoolaid · 1 month
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tw suicide, s/a
hi i wanted to submit something for the antitransmasculine violence archive. unsure if it counts but basil brown was a genderqueer disability activist recently who killed themself after being raped on campus. the school is covering it up, they're being misgendered everywhere, and it hurts. I knew them.
https://www.kadn.com/news/local/an-unspeakable-loss-ul-releases-statement-after-student-suicide-on-campus/article_4b6797c2-f5c1-11ee-bfc4-9326f10eb630.html
https://twitter.com/Georgeroyde/status/1777602502298345748?t=-7gb5o5HL3lE3UQziTG5yg&s=19
same anon that sent about basil. just found out libs of tiktok posted about them. sick to my stomach
Yes, this absolutely counts. Thank you for sending me this.
From their Instagram I can see that they were on T at some point and used to identify as trans man; if anyone can find out if they were still comfortable being grouped under the "transmasculine" umbrella by the end of their life, it would be much appreciated. I am going to put them on the list for the sake of visibility, but I want to make sure their full genderqueer identity isn't being ignored.
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Basil wrote this Instagram post, apparently in reference to a trans boy who died (according to this, also by suicide) and was misgendered by the Louisiana School for Math, Science and Arts, now unfortunately too relevant in their own death:
Honor Max. Use his name, use his pronouns. Be brave enough to handle the consequences, and stand up for him. It is equal parts heartbreaking and blood boiling for you to make the choice to disrespect him, even in death. Protect trans kids.
They link a neocities website in their Instagram bio, which appears to be a product of their own creation. Its very interesting and full of art, so if you want to check it out to honor their memory, go to ocimum.neocities.org
Their name was, and is, Basil Brown.
UPDATE: According to a friend, Basil used he/they pronouns at the time of his death.
Additionally, I want to point out that one of the people Basil accused of raping them is a professor at the university they were attending. The university has only put out the vaguest nothingburger of a response (linked above) to a student's on-campus suicide & accusation of rape.
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like yeah okay sure without trauma and 13 carry-ons-worth of baggage, is it really Dean Winchester, but the point is it's not load-bearing, it's one of the first things stripped away when he starts to forget himself because at his core he's love, love is stored inside the Dean
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odesofmeddea · 2 months
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when i think about how sam named his son dean ii i remember what jenny diplacidi wrote in her book on gothic incest about names being duplicated and passed onto progeny as an indication of incestuous threat and how the narrative of overlapped names in the show (samuel and deanna, married, sam and dean, brothers existing in enmeshment, sam who had lost his brother dean, assumed dead, seeping into his lover amelia who had lost her husband don, assumed dead, sam and his son, dean ii) suggests an explicit variation of such haunting. it is a story clipped half-lived. there's no consolation to it, only re-enactment: two people loved each other and lost each other untime, and their namesakes or namesaked scions came forth to propagate that loss and resuscitate it again in all-conceivable but consistently affiliated forms. sam loses dean terminally and then conjures, recreates, and seeks his brother in other attainable (sublimated) forms of continuation, not allowing him to get eradicated from the memory of the earth: dean loved his brother sammy to whom he was also a mother, and sam loved his brother dean so much he had rebegotten him. it is a somewhat uncomfortable thought - that he cradled and fed and bathed and played with his son, as though repaying his brother for the nurture received in his own childhood, and as though appeasing his old and atavistic urge to become the proper, right father (or husband, where dean is the reification of motherly functions) to his ill-fated brother who yielded all his childhood, life, and malformed dreams for him, who has never been loved enough and never the exact way that sam wished he'd been. that is, living vicariously through things that he never got to live with dean. there's an immense tenderness to it. and a very deep, morbid sense of eerie, because he has never fallen out of love and, instead, projected his permanent loss, i.e., projected dean, onto his household and robbed them of their independent self-substantiated meaning. dean ii is his own person... but with an innate another dean-adjacent, dean-prolonging reason of existing in the first place.
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torturedpoetemotions · 9 months
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The way people hate on the Mary arc of later seasons like "why did Dean have to lose his image of his mom" that was the POINT. Like??? That image he had of his mom was never real! Nobody is that perfect, least of all a traumatized hunter kid who was orphaned at 19 and made a desperate deal to save at least ONE person she lost so she wouldn't be completely alone in the world. The Mary Dean knew and idolized was a fiction cobbled together from grief and a four-year-old's hazy memories. She wasn't real!
And the loss of her is where it all started. All Dean's trauma. All of his hangups and issues and fears began the night Mary died. And to some extent I don't think healing was possible until he fully grappled with the fact that his mom was just a PERSON. Not a saint on a pedestal he should worship and sacrifice everything for and could never live up to.
Like!!! Sooooo many of Dean's Issues started with her death and the way John turned her into a martyred saint to justify his actions. Dean was mourning for a woman who didn't even exist and an idea of a perfect life he never would have had! His "perfect mom?" Their "perfect family?" Never. Existed. That's literally the point. He was never going to be able to love any life he could have if he was always comparing it to some impossible idea of perfection that was never even possible.
Sorry but Amara was right, he needed that false idol to be shattered.
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