Dashing in December (2020)
A city businessman returns home to his family ranch to find things in disrepair and a new man has move in with his family and wants to save the ranch.
It’s real nice every once in a while to get one of the classic cheesy romance films that make little sense but sort of feel good, directed at the queer community rather than the absurdly many heteronormative ones available, particularly at Christmas. The animals and locations also made it enjoyable and set several romantic scenes at low cost.
As is the case for many romance films, there’s an element of pre-destination. Because it is a romance film, two characters will be inevitably linked together, no matter how incompatible they are, and because it’s a gay romance and there are only two gay characters, those two feel forced together by necessity rather than choice, since even the family have decide for them.
There are several elements that exceed the usual straight narrative. One is that there are several scenes that have the characters making personal connections, discussing past grievances, and making emotional connections rather than just having lustful thoughts and abusive displays of power instead of meaningful action. There were also several cuts obviously meant for ad-breaks that really broke up the flow of the movie.
Even though it’s really good for the narrative that things can work out by having a good idea, things just aren’t realistic like that. An all year winter wonderland isn’t likely to sell since it isn’t winter all year and people value variety. The horses should be a big seller, but two horses isn’t so much to justify an entire ranch, not to sound like an actual Scrooge, but faith alone doesn’t actually make any money.
5/10 -Can’t find a better example of average-
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"Dashing in December": Christmas romcom with gay guys and a ranch that needs saving
I was recommended Dashing in December, a Christmas romcom advertised on Amazon Prime as a tv series, for some reason. The blurb gives the standard plotline: Big City careers are stupid, go home for Christmas and find love. The twist: Big City is a guy! It will take about 10 minutes of screen time for the big reveal: he's gay!
Scene 1: Establishing shot of NYC. Big, Important Financial Planner Wyatt (Peter Porte) is at an office Christmas party, miserable amid the talk of husbands and wives. He and Lindsey broke up in October, so he'll be alone! At Christmas! Hey, I thought Wyatt was gay. Has he not figured it out yet, or is Lindsey a made-up girlfriend?
"What went wrong?" the Big Boss wants to know. "I thought you and Lindsey were perfect for each other." So they've met? Maybe Lindsey is a beard? Or maybe he's bi?
"The nonstop trips to the Cape, the five-star restaurants every night. I want someone with simple, down-home tases." Should have thought of that before you moved to the Big City, Dude.
More plot: this is the first Christmas since Dad passed away, so Mom is depressed, so he's going back to the ranch in Colorado. 10,000 to one he finds love there.
Hey, the hot bartender (Eric Meroño, left) grins at Wyatt! If you came in cold, this would be your first clue that Wyatt might not be straight, but I'll bet not one viewer in 100 catches it
Scene 2: Establishing shot of a beautiful ranch in Colorado. Wyatt's Mom brings tea to her workers: a girl and Heath (Juan Pablo de Pace, below). She announces that Wyatt is coming home for Christmas, for the first time in five years. Heath has only been working there for three years, so they've never met, but the girl is his High School Girlfriend. Whoa, Wyatt really racks up the babes.
"Won't your husband, who is out of the country working for Doctors Without Borders, be jealous of your ex-boyfriend visiting?" Heath asks.
High School Girlfriend, grinning: "I...don't...think so." Her certainty is another clue.
Heath leaves, and High School Girlfriend interrogates Mom: "Heath doesn't know about Wyatt?"
"Well, I couldn't just tell him, could I?" Tell him what, Mom? What about your son is such a problem that you're afraid to tell your employee about it?
"Well, does Wyatt know about Heath?"
"What could I say: you guys are both gay?" The big reveal! Why all the circumlocution and misdirection? Probably the same rationale as not revealing that a tv character is gay until Season 2: you want the viewers to become invested in the story first, so they won't run away in homophobic horror.
Wait -- Ranch Hand Heath is gay, too? So what's the problem? This will be a very short romcom. Wyatt's plane lands, sparks fly, mistletoe, the end.
Scene 3: Heath giving two moms and two kids (a lesbian couple?) a tour of Santa's Workshop. By horse-drawn carriage, not sleigh: there's no snow on the ground.
Meanwhile, Wyatt arrives. pulls out his luggage, and grimaces. Yuck, back at the place I found so oppressive as growing up! Mom hugs him and immediately envisions him having kids. Geez, Lady, wait until he's in the house before pressuring him to get married and have kids.
Wait -- if Wyatt is gay, what's up with the ex-girlfriend Lindsey? Mom references them with he/him pronouns -- yep, he was a guy with a girl's name, a misdirection to fool us before the big reveal. Or Wyatt has a thing for gender-bending names: his High School Girlfriend is named Blake.
Mom points out Heath: "He keeps the place going." Wyat notices the lack of customers for Santa's Village, and criticizes him for not doing his job. Yeah, Heath, get busy and make with the snowfall!
Scene 4: Heath and High School Girlfriend are heading to dinner, and to meet Wyatt. Heath worries that he will be homophobic, but she reassures him: that won't be a problem. So the guy who escaped Colorado, with its long history of homophobic legislation, for the freedom of a gay mecca, is homophobic?
At dinner, Wyatt brings up the real reason for his visit: he wants Mom to sell the ranch! "It's prime real estate today, and Santa's Workshop isn't making any money." The others act as if he's proposing eating babies.
"This is your mother's home," High School Girlfriend says through gritted teeth. "This is all she has." Calm yourself, Girl -- Wyatt isn't kicking Mom out onto the street. I checked current listings: Colorado ranches go from $2-15 million.
Mom starts crying. "So this is why you came home -- to destroy my life? To spit on your father's grave?"
"Well, that's not the only reason. I wanted to eat some babies, too."
The full review, with nude photos, is on SG Beefcake and Boyfriends
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New Year, 2024.
He stares blankly at Melissa's text-message as it flashes across his phone screen.
"Are you in Launceston?"
No, because he doesn't understand this business of toasting champagne with one's enemies, in a place teeming with them that his family had done well to abandon. Of course, toasting enemies is an occasional inevitability in London; at events they all have vested interest in attending, or else cede the limelight to an undesirable other.
But Launceston is not London. Why the Rutherfords would ever need chase French cul or any other into a foreign city, he cannot for the life of him understand.
It's sloppy, unnecessary. And too much potential for ill-advised liaisons.
The surgeon releases a sigh, leaning back in his chair. Maybe his family is right, and he is softhearted after all — unable to fathom the thought of shooting the same people you'd willingly toasted mere weeks ago.
Or — perhaps he's every bit as calculating as the eldest son of a mobster, who, in another lifetime, might've been forced to lead his father's people. Calculating enough to know that mingling in such ways would only make his own soldiers less willing to pull the trigger when asked of them. Less loyal.
He doesn't understand it, but he's glad that in this lifetime, it's not his conundrum to resolve. Setting aside his cellphone, Gideon turns his attention back to his work. He needs to reserve every bit of calculation for a problem of his own, anyhow. A priority.
He's not exactly sure how his father caught wind of his intentions – Was it the frequent drop-ins to his lawyer's office in recent weeks? The indefatigable rumour mill that was London's press?... Or had his father specifically taxed some sorry pigeon with the job of gathering, every so often, intel on his wayward son? – but it's become abundantly clear that Andrew knows. Clear, by the gift that had come on Christmas Day, inside a card neatly scrawled in his father's own penmanship.
Gideon,
A man may have the world, but if his child wants no part in it, what good does it do either of them? So saying, I trust even you won't turn your nose up at this humble offering... For my grandson's sake.
Happy Christmas.
— A.R.
Along with the card and an extravagantly-summed cheque, was a referral appointment to the exclusive services of a custody lawyer. Some internet hunting later had revealed the lawyer had made his name overseas and had now returned to London.
Though he'd kept the card, he'd had too much pride to take the money. Blood money. Not that Gideon didn't see the appeal; what was pocket money to Andrew Rutherford was a significant cut of his own annual paycheck, even as a neurosurgeon splitting his time between both public and private sectors in one of the most prestigious cities in the world. But he'd been stubborn since the day he'd earned his first payslip, and the way things were looking, he'd be stubborn until his last. So he'd sent the cheque back with a brief but polite Christmas note in return.
He may have been too proud to take the money, but that doesn't mean he's foolish enough to ignore the legal recommendation of a mobster who'd notoriously spent the last four decades of his life dodging the law and finagling his way out of the courtroom. Whatever else may be said of him, Andrew Rutherford knows how to win a case – or – the right people to employ to win it for him.
And even if the lead proves to be a dead end, had not the last year given him repeated, painful reminder that he needs to refocus his attention on his own life? Maybe Nora's right, and he's spent too long shooting himself in the foot by fighting other people's battles or martyring himself for the wrong causes. Maybe Yvonne is also right, and he needs to quit falling on his sword in defense of everyone around him. Maybe he needs to keep the secret he'd shared with Leyla on his birthday, too.
And maybe, despite all that and every good intention along the way — the lead will fail.
Maybe it won't make an ounce of a difference in the end. He's squared up against his ex-wife in court once before already and had won nothing for his efforts but public humiliation. A second attempt over the years had been thwarted before the judge had even riffled through his painstakingly collected pile of evidence.
What good will a third trial do?...
But for all the cynicism in his heart, Gideon knows he owes Felix this much. Owes him a hundred attempts to pull him out from under the influence of a selfish, fame-spoilt, cocaine-fueled mother; who'd struggle to choose between their son and her next hit. At least, until such a time as his beloved, now-six-year-old boy comes of an age when he can choose such parental influences for himself.
Gideon glances at the clock. In half an hour, he's meant to meet his girlfriend to watch fireworks on a rooftop and ring in the New Year. Enough time to finish this email, the one addressed to the so-called 'Mr. Dalton, Q.C.' with regard to his plight. Besides, the Rutherford doesn't need any more time to think of his resolutions before 2023 fades into the annals of the past. He's made his one – and only one – resolution already.
... It's time to get his son back.
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