#crushable cars | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandomfluffandfuck · 5 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfluffandfuck/737790809786793984/idk-what-switch-fucking-flipped-but-the-blasphemy

omg the way i immediately went to maddie's blog to read her priest!steve and inmate!bucky now that u reminded me of it 🥴 the flavor guilt brings to the table is always🙏🙏🙏

related to this

"Matthew 26:41" by MaddieWritesStucky

Also--

"The Wages of Sin" by MaddieWritesStucky

Aaaand, I'll plug my own kinky blasphemy drabble, too, lol--

"Did I Mistake You For A Sign From God"

Anyway, fics aside, yes yes yes-! I love Maddie's works, and those in particular are *chef's kiss* I love them 🥴🥴

Now is the time when I also admit to maybe having already having started planning a new fic or drabble, I haven't decided yet what it will be (if it will be anything 🤷🏻‍♂️), related to blasphemy and sacrilegious and kinks of the kind. Although, it's not evanstan and it's not stucky...

I've been thinking unholy thoughts about God the Bounty Hunter and Cole Turner...

Cole whimpers, "guh! Nnngh! Oh, God!" His fingers tight, tight, and tightening in the bounty hunter's hair, holding on as he swallows around his cock, so deep that he's in his throat, Jesus, he's never--no one has ever taken him so deep. Cole's throwing his head back, giving up on being quiet so they don't get caught in this fucking creepy ass parking lot, but then...

God pulls off.

And Cole whines again.

God smirks arrogantly, "you're damn right." He jerks him nice and slow in his fist, too tight and overwhelming, making Cole want to crawl out of his skin. "Say it again," God murmurs, voice husky and rich, satisfied by already knowing that he will. Cole doesn't have a choice when he's making him feel like that--

"God, God, fuck, fuck mee," he whimpers, uncaring how pathetic he sounds when the man between his legs does whatever that was again.

Later, Cole lets God fuck him. He needs it.

Cole ends up on top of God, riding him in the back of the car, fogging the windows, but despite what their positioning might have anyone else infer, God is absolutely the one in control.

"You fall apart so pretty," God purrs, "you look like an angel, all fucked-out."

Cole whimpers, shaking under the praise. He can't help it, clenching down on his cock, it feels so big inside him.

"That's it," God groans, "give me what I deserve."

Cole's lips drop open, maybe to call out his arrogance and pride, but all that really happens is his lips quivering. It's too hot to even moan.

"You gonna worship me, huh, angel? Gonna kneel and serve me? C'mon, I know you want to, I can practically see that brain of yours dissolving, angel, it's okay, give in, I know I make you feel better than anyone else has. It's okay." God talks down to him even though Cole is literally on top of him, and it's so delicious. He feels crushable. Tiny and delicate underneath the power of the other man--underneath the power of God. "'M gonna ruin you, but I promise it won't hurt. Not unless you want it to."

An even hotter, bigger wave of heat crashes through Cole, so strong he helplessly swoons down, collapsing onto God's chest.

God responds cruelly, kissing him within an inch of his life. Pouring enough lust to kill him into the embrace, biting his lower lip until he cries out. Cole could cry. He feels so good.

So... uh... head full 😮‍💨😮‍💨

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #fic rec #evanstan #god the bounty hunter #cole turner #ghosted #god x cole

24 notes · View notes

iavenjqasdf · 6 months

Text

prey at night

Another night at the loud bar, full of shabbily-dressed gentlemen with concerning facial hair smoking so many cigarettes and drinking so many drinks and otherwise tarnishing their squeaky-clean souls with neat controlled portions of poison.

Mary’s pint glass (long drained) rattles as she slams her fist into the side of the pinball cabinet, tilt censoring screeching as obscenities flow from her chapped lips. She fumbles through her pockets for another coin, but comes up shortchanged. Worse yet, one of the men is approaching her.

“You know, if you hit the machine too hard, it stops working,” a man trying very hard to seem naturally friendly fake-laughs, leaning up against the table next to hers. “Of course, the same could be said for people, right?” Another big laugh, another big sip of beer.

Mary briefly entertains the idea of slapping the bottom of his glass upward, spilling the rest of his beer all over his dumb bad suit, but she quickly crushes that ember beneath a gasoline-soaked toe.

Instead she says nothing, emotes nothing, retreats into the cloud of people and smoke towards the back patio. Someone calls to her as she squeezes under the fence and runs down a back alley towards the next streetcar stop until the voices stop chasing her and she’s alone and safe again.

Pinball always sucked there anyway.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Scuttering between the alleys of Venice, moonbeams illuminating the gaps between closed stores. hot breath on exposed neckflesh and oh how Mary wishes to sink her teeth in right here, but it won’t be fatal quick enough. She’ll get into the open and ruin their little private moment, attract too much attention.

She moans (he still hasn’t realized what she is), Mary shushes her, grazing the side of his throat, gently milking out a few moans, nothing the sound of rats scurrying and pipes dripping won't drown out.

A strelitzia leans casually against the side of an apartment complex across the way, her frayed leaves bobbing gently on cold air currents from the midnight ocean breeze, observing their mammalian rutting; little humps and thrusts and moans stifled by hot skin, breath damp in the foggy air, seagull shit bukkake adorning the colorful brickwork.

Mary palms at the boy’s panties, growling and biting down harder to quiet her down and let her get a good grip on him. Cute black lace. She’d have to remember to snag a pair for herself…

“H-hey- -”

Mary does not want to deal with this right now so she presses his skull into the building behind him; not too hard, just enough to remind him of the unyielding brick tight against the other side of his very crushable cranium.

“shut up or im adding you to this wall”

She shuts up.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2 minutes later he’s staggering out, whimpering and bruised, but alive.

Mary sucks the jism from the panties and tucks them in her pocket, slipping off in the opposite direction, past a steam vent and into the night.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mary sits in the bed of her old farm truck, swinging her legs lazily, the ends of her dress fluttering in the gentle night breeze. Cars echo just over the hill, yellow lights flowing like a river of piss into the city gleaming distant. Almost pretty enough to distract from the snail trail of blood slowly extending between her truck and the bitch desperately picking her way towards the dry brush on the hillside facing the highway.

Something changed that night, with the bat and the girl and the ambulance. It just doesn’t feel as special anymore. Putting coins in the pinball machine just makes her remember putting coins in the pay phone and instead of getting hard she feels weird and her nausea gets worse than normal. Something about that girl, her will to live, her refusal to submit, even held by the scruff on death’s doorstep…

Will these faceless, nameless broads ever be enough anymore?

A wave of rage crashes over Mary, and her tire iron clangs particularly loud against the bumper. The body startles, starts crawling faster. Mary takes a breath and continues watching, not interfering, she just continues to watchhh it go, just a few yards, come on, you can do it...

She could probably let this one go, too.

Maybe she could even stop bringing others to this point. Surely preserving life is Better, in some way that matters to someone in charge of something in her own (or whatever comes afterwards). She knows she’s supposed to care about human life the same way she knew Italy existed when she looked at a map once, but she’s never been to Italy, and the thought of it repulses her, frankly.

But right now, the choice is to keep living exactly like this, or die of repression, and Mary’s not suicidal this month.

She stands, idly smacking the tire iron against her palm, and follows the sandy red skids to the shivering pleading body by the side of the highway, already prepared to bring it mercy before it has a chance to beg for it. The cars overhill catch a momentary glimpse of blood-snotted steel, if even that.

“I need to pay Rose a visit”, she thinks to herself as she pulls onto the same road a few minutes later, dress wrapped tight around the weapon, crimson seeping into the pink fabric.

#📝#mary #strelitzia #guro #ero guro

8 notes · View notes

annieginny · 2 years

Note

About the first celebrity crush thing he said Jennifer Anniston (so disappointing coming from him, team Monica forever) then Emma Watson (that I agree) then Z...

He's a lover your honor 😂

But anyway I do think he could have crush on her as soon as he met her because I mean..look at her lol. And the Beyonce car video was one of the coolest thing she ever had Im still obsessed with that video so he could have definitely have some thoughts even before meeting her

Yep the way his answers kept changing made me go 👀👀👀… Z is definitely insta-crushable.

18 notes · View notes

oh-munda-kukkad-kamaal-da · 2 years

Note

Hate you? Hate you? Hmmmm since I don't know you well enough yet, ig the better path is to crush on you. You seem crushable:0

Yes, i would love to be crushed. I would prefer a plane. Car would be fine too

6 notes · View notes

vehicle-research · 1 month

Text

Bit of an eye-reading test, but a great 1976 article from the WWSC Résumé in-house rag about the near-future of VRI projects.

Also notice of a well-deserved pat on the back for Dr. Seal by the Washington State legislature. (full text found below).

Not bad for a Canadian, eh?

WWSC Tech Students Seek Better Car Performance WWSC Résumé, April 1976

Your family automobile may some- day go considerably farther on a gallon of fuel than it does today as a result of continuing research by students and faculty in the Technology Department at Western. Having already produced cars with exceptional maneuverability and fuel economy, the researchers are continuing to investigate new tech- niques for improving mileage and performance.

Viking II, a high-performance sports car completed by technology students during the summer of 1975, obtained 58.15 miles per gallon on a trip from Bellingham to Los Angeles. With a new carburetor, the car's economy was recently boosted to 77.5 miles per gallon at freeway speeds.

According to Dr. Michael Seal, faculty adviser for the car projects, efforts are being made to find still better ways to improve performance. An all-aluminum sports car, to be designated Viking IV, is scheduled to be ready for testing by next summer.

With the success of Viking Il, the WWSC students are satisfied that they have adequate solutions to a number of design problems, so the two-year development time for that car can be cut in half for the new project. Viking IV will be a small, lightweight, two-place sports car like its predecessor and will have a similar, streamlined body.

Western's automotive-design projects have attracted the attention of industry and major aluminum manufacturers have offered to provide materials and technical assistance in producing the new car. Industry interest has been encouraged by officials of the Intalco Aluminum Corp. plant near Ferndale who have shown a particular regard for the project.

Dr. Seal has traveled to industry research centers in Richmond, Va., and Pittsburgh to meet with research engineers and to discuss exotic aluminum alloys being provided for the chassis and for engine and other castings. An English wheeling machine, capable of rolling compound curves from flat metal sheets, is being provided to the College for use in production of the Viking IV body.

“Intalco is also loaning us a tungsten- inert gas welder for the project,” Dr. Seal said. The machine has an elaborate control system for use in specialty welding of aluminum.

In Viking IV, the driver and passenger will sit slightly farther apart than they did in Viking Il. This will permit installation of a more efficient, flush-mounted air scoop beneath the car, cooling the engine while producing a minimum of wind resistance. Aero- dynamics play a critical factor in the new car’s design, as it did in the earlier model.

There will be slight changes in the body around wheel openings to reduce drag. And Viking IV is scheduled to have a small trunk space—a luxury not included in Viking II.

The chassis will be radically different, made entirely of aluminum sheets, folded and glued together. The result will be considerably lighter than the steel-tube and reinforced-plastic framework of Viking II, without any sacrifice in strength.

The gear shift, on the left side of the driver in Viking Il, will be moved to the center of the car in the new vehicle to conserve side room. Occupants will be protected by crushable aluminum side beams of a new design that will absorb the impact of collisions.

“We will use spun-aluminum wheels this time instead of casting them,” Dr. Seal said, “saving another ten pounds overall.” Light weight is as critical a factor as reduction of wind resistance in creating a car that is a fuel miser.

The entire front half of the roll- formed aluminum body will pivot forward and upward to permit access to the passenger compartment. The weight of the front bumper will provide a counterbalance, making the light metal easy to lift. The one-piece forward body section eliminates door seams, further

reducing overall weight and producing a smoother skin for reduced wind resistance.

Power for the new car, it is hoped, will be provided by a stratified-charged, Mazda rotary engine—another experi- mental project of Dr. Seal and his associates. If successful, the engine should combine exceptional economy with snappy performance.

“If we can’t perfect the stratified- charge concept and produce competitive economy, we may use a conventional 1976 Mazda with one rotor removed,” Dr. Seal said, “which should be about equal to the Viking II powerplant.

“The new chassis and body for Viking IV will be lighter than their counterparts in Viking Il, so our per- formance and economy should im- prove,” he continued. “The car could conceivably do 180 miles per hour, and we might take it to the Bonneville salt flats and try for a speed record. The record for the G sports racing class—into which the car would fall—is about 170 mph.”

In the meantime, the manufacturers of Subaru are giving Western an engine that will be used in their 1977 cars and a five-speed transaxle, both of which will go into Viking Il. The car will be converted from propane to gasoline fuel and will be used as a test bed for the new engine.

The Japanese automotive firm will send engineers to Bellingham to record performance data and possibly make modifications to their engine.

“They want to use our car for testing because we are getting better economy, performance and emissions control using their engine than anything they have in Japan,” Dr. Seal explained.

The entire Viking automobile project provides hands-on experience for the WWSC Technology Department’s power mechanics students in a setting that makes their academic work exciting. The result is an unusual and rewarding learning situation.

The excitement of the project carries over into other aspects of the depart- ment—so much so that William Brown, staff technician in the department, is building an all-plastic version of Viking Il at his home. Fascinated with the cars, he is hoping to get 80 miles per gallon from an lzuzu, two-cylinder, 25 h.p. diesel engine.

Brown’s car will be designated Viking V and will be used to provide additional comparison data for alterna- tive materials and powerplant. It will be heavier than Viking Il and not as powerful, but will probably be more economical and easier to produce.

88888888888888888888888888888888888

Washington Legislature Gives Commendation

Dr. Michael Seal, professor of technology, along with Western's tech- nology students, recently received a commendation from the state legislature for their achievements in vehicle research and development. The com- mendation was followed by a grant in the amount of $56,000 from the state’s Motor Vehicle Fund.

The formal commendation, trans- mitted to President Olscamp and trustees of the College, emphasized the legislature’s concern for the conserva- tion of energy and the reduction of air pollutants from automobiles. It also affirmed the legislature’s commitment to encouragement of, and support for, research and other programs aimed at achieving such objectives.

The commendation was received by the College in the form of a Senate Resolution, proposed by Senators Goltz, Guess, Sandison, Walgren, Benitz, Lewis, McDermott, Odegaard and Donohue.

0 notes

mrm101 · 4 months

Text

Landing today (I'd forgot about this one...shock) is Japan's SLIM or Smart Lander for Investigating Moon which was launched on 6 Sept 2023.

Landing coverage is from 2pm GMT with the descent commencing at 3pm for a landing at 3:20pm... coverage (usually with alternating english) at... (see below)

SLIM is designed to land precisely within 100m of any given scientific target, even individual rocks identified previously by Lunar orbiters, such as Kaguya or NASA's LRO. Rather than having to land somewhere in a wide relatively flat landing zone of several km in area and then having to employ a rover of some kind to get to the area of interest.

SLIM is also designed to land on a slope, something which would present a challange for most current rover designs to climb up.

To reduce weight the main fuel tank of the craft is used as the actual structure of the vehicle (similar to how formula one cars began using the engine and gearbox of the car as the structure instead of a chassis) and lightweight thin film solar arrays, from Sharp Corporation, which can be wrapped around exsisting structures and attached using Velcro. The propellent tank also contains both oxidiser and fuel separated by a lightweight diaphragm made of PTFE (Teflon) instead of using separate tanks for each.

The lander is equiped with a Mitsubishi microwave radar for altitude and doppler velocity estimation which can be used from several km down to tens of meters. A Mitsubishi Laser Range-Finder (LRF) for altitude determination.

Plus two Meisei lightweight terrain naviigation Cameras (CAM), one is used during powered descent and the other for vertical descent.

Because SLIM is designed to be capable of landing on slopes it has a unique landing method, after descending it will hover briefly then tip over to present a spherical landing pad to the surface mounted on one corner of the base of the craft. On contact the craft will continue to tip over onto four other apherical pads so it lands on its side. The spherical pads are made from a crushable metal mesh which will absorb the landing energy.

Two small rovers will also be ejected from SLIM just before touchdown...

LEV 1 is a hopper, which will move around using a spring leg

and LEV 2 is a small ball like rover

SLIM Mass: 200kg (dry) 700-730kg (fuelled)

Dimensions: 2.4m x 1.7m x 2.7m

Engines: Two Mitsubishi KYOCERA 500N thrust main bi-propellent engines with a high performance ceramic combustion chamber giving a high thrust range and pulse operation capabilty. Plus twelve IHI 20N thrusters for attitude control and precision maneuvering. Pics: JAXA

#Youtube

1 note · View note

the-firebird69 · 7 months

Text

I'm going to make this car work it's Brad's and we're going to help get them factories open all over the world and once a month or so you can have a safety feature improvement right now though the max probably want us in them but there's nowhere near enough of them and they're on the island so it's starting to think about it there's a little crushable cars

Thor Freya

You haven't made out of metal it's kind of flimsy has a frame kind of

Brad

Yeah I saw them why did you get making them can't really help you but okay

Macs

He'd have to make so many for us to even touch one

Zues Hera true too

Fair enough for this crap we're going to have to help make them but we don't do that

Macs

I guess I'm on my own but they might not be obstructing it is what it sounds like

Brad

No kidding

Macs

Good

Brad I'm going to roll out a few factories all over the world and I think my friend there

We're going to help and we're going to get going and we'll help with a safety feature a month or so

Olympus

0 notes

ainews · 8 months

Text

Riding a chauffeured car is becoming increasingly popular for luxury travelers, and fridges are a staple of that experience. Though there are many reasons why chauffeurs choose to keep fridges in their vehicles, one of the most important is the fact that fridges are crushable.

Many people don’t think about the need for a fridge when riding in a car, but chauffeurs consider it a must-have. This is mainly because a car is still subject to bumps, curves, and other typical road conditions. These bumps and curves can cause items to move around in the backseat, which is why the presence of a fridge is so important for chauffeurs.

Fridges are crushable because they are designed to be lightweight and sturdy. This benefits chauffeurs because it allows them to keep items such as food and drinks in an insulated, crushable space. This makes it easier for chauffeurs to move items around in the back seat without having to worry about damaging whatever is inside the fridge.

Another benefit of fridges being crushable is that they provide safety for passengers. By keeping food and drinks in a crushable space, chauffeurs can ensure that these items stay in place while the car is in motion and that no passengers or their food and drinks are getting jostled around.

All in all, fridges being crushable is an important reason why many chauffeurs keep them inside their vehicles. Not only do they provide safety and convenience for passengers, but they also enable chauffeurs to safely and easily transport food and drinks without risking damage to their belongings.

#ai generated #fake news

0 notes

kindrakammer · 1 year

Text

Why do people wear Hats?

There are many types of hats. Hats can reveal much about a person. They may be simple straw lifeguards or sun visors. Or they could be designer caps with the perfect fashion statement. Asking someone about their hat will often lead to them telling you why they choose it. It may not be as simple as what the person tells you. There are, in my opinion, three main reasons that people wear certain hats. This may be just one of the three reasons: style, style and protection.

Hats to Protect

A hat is a great way to protect the ears, the neck, the face, and the top of the head when a person is exposed the the elements. Most doctors recommend that people wear a Sun Protection Hat. A good sun hat protects the whole head, and in some cases even the shoulders. The best choice is a straw hat with a wide brim, unless you're traveling by plane. If you are traveling, a wide-brimmed hat with a crushable base is a great alternative.

Hats for affiliation

Many people who belong to an organization, team, or club want their headwear and clothing to reflect that affiliation. The majority of team sports hats fall into this category. You can identify or classify yourself by the headwear you wear. This includes fishing caps, boating and sailboat caps, car related hats. Waders are not unusual at indoor fishing events. Many people like to display their membership by wearing a hat or clothing.

Military Hats

The military-style headwear category is one of the most specialized categories within affiliation hats. The styles range from the classic captain's hat to camouflage boonies and army hoodies. The military hat is the only style that can show affiliation to an organization.

Hats for Style

Most people follow the latest style, fashion or simply the latest trend. The cadet style is an example. They are worn (made to appear used) and they have a smaller bill. They provide minimal protection but are extremely popular with the fashion conscious. Decorative sunvisors are yet another example of headwear which is more about fashion than function. You can see here our latest collection of Bucket Hats ''https://chapeauxbob.com/''.

Hats to be Worn for Many Reasons

Hats can be worn for a variety of reasons. Cowboy hats can offer great protection, be stylish and represent affiliation in many cases. A floating hat is another example. Originally created for boating, and to be used on water, floating hats are now a popular fashion accessory. The next time you don a hat think of all the possible reasons, or wear it without thinking about the reason.

0 notes

bestroofbags · 2 years

Text

Rooftop Cargo Box for SUV Cars

If you’re in the market for a rooftop cargo box for an SUV, then you’ll want to read this guide. We'll take you through everything you need to know about finding and purchasing a Rooftop Cargo Box for your car. Whether you're looking for something that can hold your car's essentials or just want an extra place to store your things, we've got the info you need. So be sure to check out our guide and see if a rooftop cargo box is a perfect solution for your SUV!

How to Choose the Right Cargo Box for Your SUV Car.

There are a few things you need to consider when choosing a cargo box for your SUV. The first is the type of cargo in the box: heavy or light? This will affect how much weight the car can hold and also whether or not you need to worry about crushable materials.

Another important factor is size. How many people will be using the box at once? What kind of vehicles will it fit? And finally, what kind of storage space will it offer?

Once you have a general idea of what types of cargo boxes are available, the next step is to decide which one would be best for your specific car. There are several different types of SUV cargo boxes, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. Here's a comprehensive guide on the best roof boxes and bags for your SUV Car.

#travel #traveling #camping #best suv #rooftop

1 note · View note

bigtinytoys · 2 years

Link

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: BRAND NEW 2020 HOT WHEELS MONSTER TRUCKS - POTTY CENTRAL - WITH CRUSHABLE CAR.

0 notes

impossiblyshamelessstrawberry · 2 years

Link

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Hot Wheels Monster Trucks One Bad Ghoul Purple Giant Wheels with Crushable Car.

0 notes

fuck-customers · 5 years

Text

nObOdY’s CoMiNg!!!

This happened a while ago, but is still really fucking funny to me.

Necessary background: I work in a family-owned grocery store near a recycling center.

A lady came through my line (and was a giant pain in the ass but whatever) a few weeks ago. When the transaction was over, she stepped outside and immediately started losing her shit. “OH MY GOD!” she yelled, “OH MY GOD ARE YOU SEEINNG THIS??? Come! LOOK!!!”

So naturally, I thought this was a life-or-death situation and rushed out the door. She stood next to me and pointed across the street on the opposite side of the nearest intersection. “Can you believe this???”

On the other side of the intersection, it looked as though a bin from the recycling center somehow made its way into one of the gutters and spilled bottles and cans. The mess looked pretty inconvenient for the motorists, but it honestly could have been picked up by a couple people in five minutes. The mess was pretty much localized to just the gutter with a few easily-crushable stray bottles and cans in the road.

Again... inconvenient, yes. Dangerous? Mildly at best. There was honestly jack shit I could personally do. I just told her that I’d tell the managers at my store to call the nearby business and the recycling center to let them know and help pick it up.

This wasn’t good enough for her. “How CAN you just STAND THERE??? There’s bottles and cans everywhere and NOBODY’S COMING!!! Do something! Call the police!!!”

At this point, I tried my hardest not to laugh. This lady was seriously yelling, screaming, and acting like someone was actively bleeding out on the doorstep over this relatively minor recycling spill across the street. Also, the police presence in this neighborhood is a fucking joke.

The community where the store is located is in what’s referred to as an “unincorporated community.” About 50-60 years ago, it was a small farming town and hasn’t yet been fully integrated into the city even though it’s in the same county. The city police don’t have any jurisdiction here. If you call them for any non-emergency issue, they tell you to call the highway patrol, who tell you to call the sheriff, who tells you to call the highway patrol. It takes hours to get non-emergency issues resolved, so calling the police is often more trouble than it’s worth around here. So her shouting at me to call the police had that extra layer of humor added. What was I going to say??? “Why yes, hello officer. There are bottles and cans in the street and nobody’s coming.” Please. I definitely would have been laughed off the line at worst or taken seriously and waited 3 hours for the police to help clear the debris at best... and in that time, the nearby businesses, recycling center employees, and homeless people would have seen the mess and cleared it away anyways.... So I assured her that I would do everything in my power to alert relevant parties.

She totally wasn’t buying it, but also decided at this point that she wanted to do some more shopping??? In the meantime, I showed one of my coworkers the bottles and cans that “nobody’s coming,” for and we had a good little chuckle.

He ended up going through my line at the same time as this lady, who continued ranting and raving. “They’re still there! Can you believe this??? Nobody’s coming!! There’s still bottles and cans in the street and NOBODY’S COMING!!!”

My coworker couldn’t help but have a little fun with her and very sarcastically, but very seriously participated in her outrage. “Oh my god,” he gasped. “I can’t believe this! I’m so shocked! You mean to tell me that there are bottles and cans just lying there??? In the street????? And NOBODY’S COMING??????”

“YES! Can you believe this?!? I can’t believe this! Someone needs to call the police!!!”

“Well I’m shook. I’m shaken and I’m spooked! Nobody’s coming???”

“NOBODY!”

“Did you look?”

“YES!!!”

At this point, people were starting to pick up the mess and it still didn’t really look like a big deal. I finished up the second transaction with this lady and sent her on her way. She left the store and said “Well, I guess I need to do something!!! I need to act! Nobody’s coming!!!” Like she’s a goddamn superhero or something. I did indeed see her on her phone and, I shit you not, five minutes later, there was a police car. Using her superpower of “unhinged white lady,” she summoned the police in less than 10 minutes! I’m impressed? Anyway, “NOBODY’S COMING,” is now a store-wide in-joke. “Oh my god one of the loaves of bread fell? And nObOdY’s CoMiNg??????? Holy shit, call the police!”

TL;DR: some white lady went on a shouting rampage because a few bottles and cans spilled into a nearby gutter and “nobody was coming,” or calling the police about it.

#submissions #fuck retail #happy ending #cashier problems #fuck coworkers #trigger warning #tw #fuck customers #submission

510 notes · View notes

lanternbest-blog · 4 years

Text

The best lantern ever

Our experts have lit up the night for years now, testing over four dozen of the best lanterns available. For this 2020 review, we purchased 14 top models to test side-by-side. We have gone coast to coast, stopping at camping spots, state and national parks, and hiked into the backcountry as well as sat through some power outages at home. We look at the details that really matter: things like brightness, battery life, and durability, to really understand each product. The best of the best have earned awards, from overall champs to budget-friendly bargains. Use this comprehensive review to help you find your next lantern to light up dark places.

Of all of the lights that we tested, the Black Diamond Apollo proved to be one of the most consistent across the board. It is versatile, durable, and easy to use for a range of activities. Shining at 225 lumens, it provides ample light for setting up camp in the dark. It's great on uneven surfaces, and it can easily be hung overhead from a cord or tree branch. It also features a USB charge out port, which is great for giving your smartphone a little extra juice when an outlet isn't nearby. This light is also relatively lightweight and compact for what it offers.

At full price, this model is a little on the pricier side. It's also not a great backcountry model unless your goal distance is short. However, it is sturdy and well made. We like it for backpacking or car camping as well as power outages at home. Of all the products that we tested, the Apollo is the one we would reach for most often.

BRIGHTNESS - 40%3

DURABILITY - 20%9

FEATURES - 20%5

EASE OF USE - 10%9

WEIGHT - 10%9

Maximum Run Time: 35 hours | Rechargeable: Yes

Solar-powered or mini-USB charged

Nice light quality

Inexpensive

Not very bright

No red light mode

The Goal Zero Crush Light surprised us with how much we enjoy it. It's a lightweight, solar-powered, no-frills light that works really well for personal use. It's "crushability" makes it practical; it stows away easily in a backpack, and unlike a few of its solar-powered inflatable competitors, there is no chance that it will be punctured. It charges either via solar-panel or mini-USB, so it works for both backcountry weekends and backyard sleepovers for the kids. It also continued to work flawlessly after being left out in the rain overnight.

We wish it were a little bit brighter. Like many similar solar-powered models, it doesn't pack nearly the same punch as ones with traditional batteries. It also doesn't come with a charge-out port as many others do, so it won't charge a phone. However, this affordable, fun, and straightforward light is one that we would welcome in our tent anytime we go out.

BRIGHTNESS - 40%5

DURABILITY - 20%6

FEATURES - 20%7

EASE OF USE - 10%9

WEIGHT - 10%10

Maximum Run Time: 170 hours | Rechargeable: Yes

Compact

Lightweight

Can charge other devices

Power button in odd location

USB port is exposed to the elements

The Goal Zero Lighthouse Micro Charge is a mini marvel. It has dual mode flashlight and lantern functionality for the solo adventurer. It charges via USB, so there is no need to carry disposable batteries. We also love that it has the capability to charge other small devices. It's great for car camping, weekend backcountry trips, and it is also a great size for children to use.

We think that being in the backcountry for an extended period of time (more than a long weekend) and far away from a USB plug could be a little stress-inducing unless you have a solar panel with you. If we are getting down to the nitty-gritty, the metal hanging loop at the top really requires an additional carabiner hooked on in order to be truly functional, and the power button is in an odd location and not always so easy to press. Even with those minor inconveniences, this light an excellent option when you need something small that punches above its weight class.

BRIGHTNESS - 40%9

DURABILITY - 20%7

FEATURES - 20%6

EASE OF USE - 10%7

WEIGHT - 10%3

Maximum Run Time: 792 hours | Rechargeable: No

Very long run time

Nice light quality

Inexpensive

Difficult to replace batteries

Handle not very sturdy

The Ultimate Survival Technology 30-Day Duro Glow is a powerhouse. Its advertised 30-day shine lasted 33 days in our testing. It has a sturdy, heavy, rubberized, impact-resistant base. The frosted plastic light cover makes the light soft and easy to look at. The cover is removable if you need an even brighter glow. It is water-resistant but not waterproof. The 30-Day Duro Glow weighs just under 2 pounds with three D batteries.

On the downside, the battery compartment can be challenging to reattach. Its glow-in-the-dark feature could be stronger. We also noticed that the plastic handle is not the highest quality. Even with all of that in mind, if your priority is run time over anything else, this is the light for you. It's best for extended car camping, RVing, or if you live somewhere with a risk of prolonged power outages.

BRIGHTNESS - 40%6

DURABILITY - 20%6

FEATURES - 20%8

EASE OF USE - 10%6

WEIGHT - 10%5

Maximum Run Time: 20 hours | Rechargeable: Yes

Lights stow away in carrying case

Solar-powered

Can charge other devices

Carrying case can be clunky to hang with lights

String can be difficult to manage

The MPOWERD Luci Solar String Lights are a great option for a good time. It setting the ambiance if your thing, this product should be in your kit. This solar-powered string is great for car camping or a backyard barbecue. The carrying case makes the lights easy to manage when they are not in use. If you need to charge them up on a cloudy day, they also have a USB plug that can get the job done. They have a USB port that can charge other devices as well. Most importantly, the ten-node, 20-LED string is bright and brings plenty of light to a deck or campsite.

A few pings against this model are that it can be hard to find the right spot for the (attached) carrying case when the lights are strung up, and the string itself is sometimes difficult to manage. However, there is so much to like about this model that it takes top honors as an excellent addition to a summer outdoor setup.

BRIGHTNESS - 40%6

DURABILITY - 20%8

FEATURES - 20%7

EASE OF USE - 10%8

WEIGHT - 10%6

Maximum Run Time: 37 hours | Rechargeable: No

Durability

Waterproof

Buoyant

Magnetic base

Limited light adjustability

Lower run time than other competitors

The Streamlight The Siege is a sturdy little workhorse. It illuminates large areas, and the opaque plastic cover is removable for a brighter, more concentrated light. It's the supporting features though that make The Siege shine. It's waterproof when submerged in water up to one meter deep. It floats and has a magnetic base (great for sticking to the underside of a car hood). It hangs from both ends (either by the handle at the top, or the carabiner hook at the bottom). It fits easily into a jacket pocket, and with its rubberized casing, it is also impact-resistant.

The primary drawback is that it doesn't give off the most even light. It also has a limited run time relative to some other models in this review. The Siege is a steal for those who beat the heck out of their gear. It's great for boating activities, or anything by the water. This would also be a strong contender for a glovebox emergency light.

Why You Should Trust Us

Our experienced panel of testers knows their lanterns. Lead reviewer started his professional outdoor career as a guide, leading multi-week backpacking, canoeing, and cycling trips throughout New England and maritime Canada. He has made a habit of escaping the lights of large cities. However, he deeply appreciates being able to find his way through the woods, even with a new moon. Over his 20 years of backcountry experience and decade of power outages that come with the winter storms of rural northern New England, he has grown to appreciate some of the features that tend to come along with many of the models in this review. Whether it is thru-hiking the PCT, , or paddling down New Hampshire's Androscoggin River, he has found himself on more than one occasion, looking for a little extra battery boost for his phone, and grateful for the warm glow of a lantern on a cold, rainy night.

After the top contenders emerged from the field of dozens we considered throughout our research, we put them to the test. We took them into the forest, assessing how each one performed for solo use, small groups of 2-3 people, and larger groups of 4+. We spent some nights in simulated (and one or two real) power outages, seeing how we fared with just the light of these luminaries. To learn more about their durability, we dropped them (from hand height, head height, and overhead height). For weather resistance, we got them wet. If they claimed to be waterproof, into the river or lake they went. For the lanterns that are more than just a light source, we charged our devices to see if they could help us out of a drained battery jam. We did our very best to look at this review from many angles, and these models shined in even the darkest corners.

Analysis and Test Results

Every model we tested offers a slightly different set of features and sometimes significantly different designs, making each one preferable for different uses. There are a variety of types that fall roughly into three categories: emergency use/supplemental power outage lighting, front-country camping, and backcountry camping, and we tested them all. Below, we outline each of the metrics that we assessed during our testing, including some of the specific ways that manufacturers do (or don't) effectively incorporate features and design elements that enhance a model's overall performance.

#lantern

1 note · View note