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bloodpen-to-paper · 2 years

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Its an early Thursday morning. 6:00am, on the dot. I’m waking up at this hour because I’ve accidentally become slightly nocturnal again, and had fallen asleep at about 7pm the night before. No matter, I think as I chase away the last remnants of sleep. Time to check the news.

Its there, at the top of the Twitter trending tab, that I see it:

BREAKING: Buckingham Palace says Queen Elizabeth II is under medical supervision because doctors are "concerned for Her Majesty’s health."

Many of the Royal Family are at her side. The people of the United Kingdom are preparing for the worst. I feel adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Tumblr, I think in a moment of hysteria. I must go to Tumblr. They must be in a state of euphoria over the news.

I head over to Tumblr.

I check the trending page, expecting “Queen Elizabeth” or “down with the monarchy” or something of the sort to be at the #1 spot on the tab.

Surely, at the very least, “crab rave”

Right?

...

I stare blankly at my screen. I am in a state of shock. Too stunned to speak, some may say.

How? I beseech. How is this trending over the Queen of England’s health scare? The one that may very well cause of the end of the British monarchy as we know it?!

But I’ve been on this Hellsite longer than I’ve been able to formulate intelligent thoughts. I know they wouldn’t trend Undertale this high for no reason. And if its a new Deltarune update, well, I certainly can’t complain. I am a fan of the franchise, after all.

So I check the Undertale tag.

“AND WITH THAT, SANS UNDERTALE HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN CROWNED ULTIMATE TUMBLR SEXYMAN”

As the Sisters Moirai would have it, I had peacefully slept through a war. A war of ultimate consequence, that would decide the fate of two illustrious*, two remarkably renown communities, nay, kingdoms, over who could win perhaps the greatest, most dangerous prize. A prize which has spilt endless miles of bloodshed in its pursuit, which has devastated entire lands, decimated people in both mind and body until they were completely and utterly unrecognizable.

The prize, the title, of who was to be... the Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman.

The contenders: Sans the Skeleton of the hit RPG “Undertale” and Reigen Arataka from the popular shonen anime “Mob Psycho 100”

As it was transcribed, the battle had met many close encounters, but in the end, Sans the Skeleton would come to win the crown and claim victory over Reigen by a total of 420 votes (i shit you not it was 420 votes exactly i cannot believe you assholes managed to get it by 420 votes yall are actual meme trash and i am both disgusted and awe inspired by your cursed efforts)

Though I was unable to experience the spectacle myself, I had bore direct witness to the fallout. The internet now had an abundance of Super Smash-like fan content of Sans and Reigen engaged in combat, and there was an apparent brief rise in S̵͖̫̿̌ạ̸̛̎̚n̶͔͈͗͂̄s̷͉̚m̴͌͋͜͝a̴̻͚̺͛͆ē̶̤̔͗d̶̛̖̰͒͊a̷͙̜͙̾͗. Toby Fox himself has gotten involved by using Twitter to publish fanfiction. That was perhaps the hardest for me to accept.

Thus, it was on September 7 of the year 2022 that the battle of Sans vs Reigen had occurred and concluded. From what I had heard, it was a legendary event that would be seared into the minds of every Tumblrina, and forever remembered throughout the tales of human history.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took more psychic damage waking up to all of this than I did the day my father ended up in hospice after having a stroke on a school day so thanks for that and have a good one

* “well known, respected, and admired for past achievements”; yes I knew some of you would struggle with this one

#this was actually really fun to write lmao #love this hellsite #queen elizabeth #queen elizabeth ii #uk politics #tumblr #tumblr sexyman #undertale #sans #sans undertale #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arakata #sanssweep #reigensweep #also every sentence in the second to last paragraph starts with T #for some reason

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ratbastarddotfuck · 11 months

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I really do think it's fine to say or do things that might be considered 'in poor taste' sometimes. Especially when it's not causing any material harm.

My point is - who's being hurt by people joking about the billionaires in the ocean? Certainly not the billionaires. Is it a horrible way to die? Yes, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But did they get themselves into this situation through rich incompetence, hubris, and a total lack of giving-a-shit? Also yes. I think it's fine to talk about it and I think it's fine to be a bit callous about it. It's in poor taste maybe, but humans aren't perfect moral creatures 24/7, honestly.

Isn't this the website that does crab rave any time an asshole dies? Why are y'all moral posturing now? Feels shallow.

#titan #titanic #eat the rich #the system speaks

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andmaybegayer · 1 month

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Wireless VR to the Quest on Linux is surprisingly good. Requires some rigamarole but only because Valve hasn't ported their own wireless VR server to Linux, which I haven't tried yet because I don't want to swap to Windows. Loosely followed this list:

You have to set up ALVR which has a SteamVR plugin that pretends to be cabled headset which SteamVR Linux links to and then ALVR streams to the headset, this is actually pretty solid the main issue is that if something causes the connection between the desktop and the headset to blip it might crash SteamVR, which then temporarily blacklists ALVR to avoid crash looping, which is annoying to undo. VR games run under proton without much complaint and they hook into the VR runtime seamlessly.

If it's running it's actually great and so far once it's up and running 100% of my crashes have been because my monitor went to sleep and killed Steam VR, not because of the actual VR software. I just need to add SteamVR to the applications that can inhibit sleep.

The biggest issue is probably just the rigamarole of having to interact with steam on the PC rather than through the headset like an official link might be able to, since one of the other situations that can crash SteamVR is the headset linking and then going to sleep.

Latency is low enough that I was able to rank SS on Easy Crab Rave, which at least means the latency isn't awful, the swords don't feel or look like they're lagging behind.

I was also able to get The Lab, Valve's VR Demo Pack, running. It's well put together! Very good dense packed demo of little ideas, a shmup where you fly your ship around on the end of your hand, an archery game, a dog you can pet, a giant slingshot, a solar system model. It even supports hand tracking so you can see your hand movements replicated onto the robot hands the game renders.

Interestingly Wired VR probably isn't much better (haven't tried it), in that you are just doing Ethernet over USB, so you still have a bunch of network overhead and unless you have very noisy wireless neighbours I doubt you actually gain much in the way of latency. On Windows, Oculus USB Link uses a dedicated USB protocol to stream video frames so it's probably better there.

#VR #linux

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song-writer-melo-wrath · 6 days

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~tag game~

rules: reblog this and say “rest in peace [your OC], you would have loved…” then tag your pals!

Thank you to @1000punks for the tag, always a pleasure <3

[looks at OC amount] … Oh. Oh goodness. Athy are we really doing this.

Well, let me get my tags out of the way now, @spiderin-space and @nova-moshi because I love their characters.

@hefkerut cause I've seen them mentioned a few times and would love to know more.

I think in other cases, I don't know if they like being tagged or not, or don't know if they have OCs or not, so if you see this and want to OC ramble, say I tagged you, it's an honorary tag <3

Now, let's run through them, shall we? I'll try going alphabetically. You might want to sit down.

RIP Acolith, you would have loved Sakura festivals.

RIP Adamantine, you would have loved “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” posts.

RIP Adonis, you would have loved I'm Just Ken.

RIP Aged-Berry, you would have loved The Phantom of the Opera. And Tangled.

RIP Aikungi, you would have loved, nay, DEVOURED Naruto.

RIP Aldur, you would have loved drive in theatres.

RIP Amber, you would have loved candied insects.

RIP Ambrosia, you would have loved homemade beanies from Etsy.

RIP Anon, you would have loved the universal dislike of Anish Kapoor.

RIP Applesweet, you would have loved the fact that I gave you a different name, then forgot it. Girl I am so sorry. I'll work on it. You're still gonna be nicknamed that though.

RIP Arctic, you would have loved various authors dunking on J. K. Rowling.

RIP Arianna, you would have loved the song Dusk Till Dawn.

RIP Ash, you would have loved tone indicators.

RIP Ashlynn, you would have loved dry-clean services.

RIP Aspyn, you would have loved (and did, in fact, love) the Heathers musical.

RIP Astral Querie, you would have loved Lovebot.

RIP Astriel, you would have loved the MCR reunion tour.

RIP Athmoth, you would have loved the resurgence of bardcore, musical theatre, and the use of piano and music box in lo-fi.

RIP Bandit, you would have loved the choker section of Etsy.

RIP Bastion, you would have loved the video game you were inspired by: Bastion.

RIP Behemoth, you would have loved the memes about Ea-nāṣir

RIP Beregiso, you would have loved the fact that Dance Dance Revolution still has new games.

RIP Callie, you would have loved kites made in the shape of cute things like butterflies!!

RIP Caramel/Karma, you would have loved silly string.

RIP Cassandra, you would have loved Lacroix. I like my Lacroix the way I like Cassandra. I don't like Lacroix.

RIP Cat's Eye Apatite/Kat, you would have loved the increasing amount of pockets being put back in skirts/dresses.

RIP Celine, you would have loved Cheesecake Factory.

RIP Cinnabar, you would have loved girl in red.

RIP Chidimma, you would have loved and laughed your ass off at the “is it blue and black or white and gold” dress.

RIP Chuko, you would have loved Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds

RIP Claymin, you would have loved the amount of embroidery patterns you can find online.

RIP Creation/Pebbles, you would have loved the crab rave video.

RIP Cricket, you would have loved the Necronomicon.

RIP Culpin, you would have loved sorbet places.

RIP Cyan, you would have loved liquid glitter phone cases.

RIP Dahlia, you would have loved online gothic lolita shops.

RIP Danyacree, you would have loved tarot cards.

RIP Daphne, you would have loved 4D chess.

RIP Dawn, you would have loved the concept of ukulele apology songs, and then gone “wait, the first one was due to WHAT?!”

RIP Dayo, you would have loved Joshua Weissman's channel.

RIP Delphinium, you would have loved Pink. Possibly Halsey as well.

RIP Destruction, you would have also loved the crab rave video.

RIP Devil Wood Razoda/"Razzy", you would have loved Chicago (the musical)

RIP Dextropho, you would have loved prosthetic stickers.

RIP Dione, you would have loved Owl City.

RIP Dusk, you would have loved melatonin.

RIP Dushun, you would have loved temporary tattoos.

RIP E-302, you would have loved ENA

RIP Eden, you would have loved Troye Sivan.

RIP Eflores, you would have loved flower symbolism websites.

RIP Eko, you would have loved Amy Rose.

RIP Ellum, you would have loved sensory deprivation tanks.

RIP Eodel, you would have loved Post Modern Jukebox.

RIP Euphy, you would have loved the “FUCK YOU BALTIMORE” video.

RIP Fable, you would have loved remote jobs.

RIP Fate, you would have loved Dutch Bros.

RIP Fang, you you would have loved cybercore masks.

RIP Fiona, you would have loved online hair styling tutorials.

RIP Flaveo, you would have loved virgin cocktails.

RIP Fleur, you would have loved slam poetry gatherings. And Queer Eye.

RIP Gecko Gleeble, you would have loved learning to play Riptide and Soul Sister.

RIP Harper, you would have loved Weird Al.

RIP Hazel, you would have loved Studio Ghibli movies.

RIP Helios, you would have loved solar panels.

RIP Hemlocke, you would have loved the legalization of weed.

RIP Honeycomb, you would have loved Once Upon A Time. And Tangled.

RIP Hope, you would have loved cat ear headphones.

RIP Hyacinth, you would have loved community gardens and TeamTrees.

RIP Ilya, you would have loved Influence by Robert Cialdini.

RIP Incar, you would have loved Imagine Dragons.

RIP Inigo, you would have loved Lin Manuel Miranda.

RIP Iris, you would have loved Star Wars. Nnnnot so much the third trilogy.

RIP Jasmine, you would have loved Domino's.

RIP Jefferson, you would have loved the Hercule Poirot movies. Especially the last one, you'd get so much closure.

RIP Karuko, you would have loved the fireworks shows at Butchart Gardens.

RIP Kerinth, you would have loved Fire Emblem.

RIP Kirino, you would have loved the fact that the lesbian flag now has orange. And the internet's love of frogs.

RIP Lemming, you would have loved nature documentaries.

RIP Ladyfingers, you would have loved Epic the musical.

RIP Larth, you would have loved Dracula the Musical.

RIP Lamya, you would have loved Berrywitched.

RIP Lavender, you would have loved the concept of counting sheep.

RIP Lavender (yes, I have two of them), you would have loved mobiles.

RIP Locket, you would have loved popcorn machines.

RIP Lucastamine, you would have loved Dungeon Meshi.

RIP Mal, you would have loved 90s kpop.

RIP Maldue, you would have loved Renaissance Fairs.

RIP Marble Fondant, you would have loved Bob Ross.

RIP Maximus, you would have loved The Greatest Showman.

RIP Mayday, you would have loved rhythm games.

RIP Melody, you would have loved hyperpop.

RIP Monelia, you would have loved Mitski.

RIP Morose, you would have loved Wolfwalkers. And Turning Red. And the live-action The Little Mermaid…except for how they made Flounder look.

RIP Mysterium, you would have loved Vocaloid as a whole.

RIP Mythos, you would have loved The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

RIP Narcoma, you would have loved Poppy in her metal era.

RIP Naonë, you would have loved both Hades and Hades 2.

RIP Nym, you would have loved 60s love songs. And the British Baking Show.

RIP Nystil, you would have loved sparkle GIFs.

RIP Olivia, you would have loved dodie.

RIP Oliphant, you would have loved Skyrim.

RIP Opsys, you would have loved the Trouled Birds series.

RIP Othello Onyxus/Thello, you would have loved r/Piracy.

RIP Pallas, you would have loved Hollow Knight.

RIP Pale Bloodstone, you would have loved Hazbin Hotel.

RIP Palharine, you would have loved Celeste.

RIP Paprika, you would have loved pretzel places.

RIP Perlif, you would have loved Shape of You by Ed Sheeran.

RIP Petal, you would have loved both Frozen movies.

RIP Phantom, you would have loved dubstep.

RIP Phanny, you would have loved skydiving.

RIP Pidoth, you would have loved blumineck.

RIP Pietro, you would have loved the “jk…unless” meme.

RIP Popleir, you would have loved Mothman.

RIP Pyrlotarius, you would have loved Greek amphitheatres.

RIP Recedes, you would have loved The Princess Bride.

RIP Rowley, you would have loved r/nostupidquestions

RIP Royal Fondant, you would have loved Happy Tree Friends

RIP Serendipity, you would have loved the rising trend of girls who call themselves soft but are actually absolutely batshit.

RIP Silica, you would have loved Alec Benjamin.

RIP Sinistropho, you would have loved the Lockwood and Co books, but NOT the show.

RIP Skylar, you would have loved Barnes & Noble.

RIP Solaris, you would have loved Life is Strange. Even if it's not that good of a game, it's fun to play with friends, and has its moments.

RIP Streak, you would have loved drunk karaoke. Or really, just. Karaoke. You'll get there.

RIP Stidgeon, you would have loved horoscope newsletters.

RIP Summer River, you would have loved A Sound of Thunder.

RIP Song, you would have loved speedrunners.

RIP Tamia, you would have loved uquiz.

RIP Tanuki, you would have loved the Nintendo 3DS Eshop music.

RIP Tecwyn, you would have loved the increasing diversity of people in scientific fields. Especially trans women and furries.

RIP Tivity, you would have loved Animal Crossing.

RIP Venn, you would have loved Twilight, but not for the usual reasons people like Twilight.

RIP Venus, you would have loved the ever-rising appreciation for BUFF 👏 WOMEN 👏

RIP Victor, you would have loved Vaporwave.

RIP Victoria/Vicky, you would have loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer

RIP Vio, you would have loved the web-weaving tag on Tumblr.

RIP Vulciadis, you would have loved the continued existence of gospel music.

RIP Warwick, you would have loved 3d printing.

RIP Wester, you would have loved weather vanes.

RIP Wrath, you would have loved Burning Man.

RIP Withanix, you would have loved huge earrings.

RIP Wonwite, you would have loved “daily ___” blogs.

RIP Qwerty, you would have loved the Unipiper.

RIP Yintu, you would have loved the utter failure of NFT bros.

RIP Yulmix/Mimi, you would have loved the phrase “comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable”

RIP Yume, you would have loved “is the ___ video cute” blogs.

RIP Ziah, you would have loved the meme of giving Roombas knives.

RIP Zinnia, you would have loved the cottagecore side of the internet.

+ a few more but ohhh wow is this making Tumblr load slower.

#athy rambles #when I say 'I have over 100 OCs'...#I do in fact mean. I have over 100 OCs.#ocs #oc #my ocs #original character #original characters

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quitetheketch-moved · 2 years

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Steve Bannon has been arrested for money laundering and I haven't heard a peep about it 'cause no one can hear the news over the crab rave happening in here

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thankyoumskobayashi · 4 months

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nooooooooooooo don't cause a crab rave ahaha your so sexy

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plunderwater · 8 months

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TIMING: Prior to Jasper losing his face LOCATION: Driftwood Diner PARTIES: Fang (@ronin-for-hire) & Jasper (@eatdearth) SUMMARY: Fang and Jasper meet up to try the White Crab seltzers at Driftwood Diner despite their shaky "first date" at Midnight Drive-In. CONTENT WARNINGS: Innuendos, awkward date stuff, passive-aggressiveness

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was supposed to be a pretty nice movie date at Midnight Drive-In, featuring the film called The Awakening of the Jiggly Pears; it was supposed to be a pretty nice dinner at Harborside, with Jasper getting to taste those White Crab seltzers at Driftwood Diner that she had been raving about. However, as it turned out, much to Jasper’s dismay, both times were with the same girl, and that same girl seemed extremely hostile toward him. Did he do something wrong to her? Something he couldn’t even remember? Did he accidentally piss on her parents’ graves or what?

“So, uhm, we meet again, huh?” Jasper tried to play it off coolly, chuckling at his lame attempt at an ice breaker. He’s never been at Harborside, at least not recently, at least not with someone new, someone who seemed like she’d rather break his kneecaps than do anything else with him, most of all enjoy the seltzers. But Jasper at least tried. No one can say he didn’t. Especially not at the face of a scowling she-devil. “T-thanks for being here.”

Fang squinted at Jasper, her arms crossed over her chest, as she sat back on her seat, scowling. The first time they had gone out, it was to watch that weird film at that weird drive-in. It wasn’t a bad first date, err first meeting, but it could have gone a lot better. At least he didn’t try anything weird. Then again, he wouldn’t have been able to. If he had, she would’ve made sure he wouldn’t try that again with anyone else. But at least he paid. And his car was clean. “Yeah, probably should’ve made sure it wasn’t you.”

Those words might have been sharper than most people would’ve liked, but they were the only words she knew. Well, the only delivery she knew. Fang didn’t live in this part of the world. She didn’t grow up with comfort and the luxury to give strangers the benefit of the doubt. Fang grew up in the part of the world where her parents died during a car crash, thanks to a monster. She grew up in the part of the world where no other relatives claimed her, leading to the guy that saved her to take her in, train her to be a monster killer. She’s been surviving against monsters ever since. “As long as you’re paying, Professor.”

“Of course, I will,” Jasper forced a smile on his face just as the waitress arrived, greeting them both and handing them each a menu. That comment of Fang’s, the one with the whole making sure it wasn’t him again thing, made him wince inside. It was a bit hurtful, but to be honest, he should have expected it from her. For some reason, she hated his guts. Was it his fault? Or maybe that was just who she was? He’d met people like that, had them in his class. Misdirected anger, that was what he liked to call it. She didn’t have enough on him, he thought, to have all that dislike of him be truly about him. It was, most likely, something else. “Two White Crab seltzers?”

Jasper posed the question to Fang, which the waitress picked up on. The latter had said the usual spiel of the restaurant, the food place, which Jasper didn’t bother to listen to. Or he would have, had he not focused on Fang’s misguided animosity toward him. Whatever the true cause of her negativity was, her hostility, he was now determined to find out, if only to make sure she’d tone it down a bit, or more importantly, he could make her feel more comfortable and less agitated. “Or do you have something else in mind? Something more you want to try?”

Fang accepted the menu and read it in a way that kept her from seeing Jasper’s face. Heaving a sigh, she read through the items offered, finding the White Crab seltzers. As if on cue, she reminisced on the first time she got them, having been dragged to the diner by Sara and her coworkers who wanted to try the new addition. The slayer wasn’t too thrilled at the thought of being forced to try a drink with crab in it, especially after her morgue fight, but ended up relenting after Sara guilted her like an Asian mom would.

“Here,” Fang stated plainly, placing the menu on the table with her finger on the word ‘codburger’ while staring at Jasper with a playful smirk, as if challenging him to get the same dish. The slayer wasn’t much of a gambler, even though the codburger was always a gamble. Some days, the cod was delicious. Other days? She wasn’t even sure if it was cod in there. Definitely a dish she’d enjoy watching the geology professor try to overcome. “Two. One for me and you. Unless you’re scared?”

“Scared?” Jasper raised an eyebrow at Fang, utterly confused. Why would he be scared of a burger? Sure, he’s never had a burger with cod instead of meat, but he did have that tuna burger a while back. Cod and tuna… They’re basically the same thing, right? “Why would I be scared? It’s just fish,” he turned to the waitress with a warm smile, nodding at her after she clarified if that was all they wanted to have. White Crab seltzers and codburger… How could he expect anything else from a diner at Harborside.

“So,” Jasper tried to think of something else to talk about once the waitress left him alone with Fang. He tried to be careful about what topic to broach, tip-toeing on eggshells in his head. The last thing he wanted was for her to start yelling at him again. Then again, he did think she was cute when she got mad. Oh, no… What the actual fuck was that line of thinking? “...you come here often?” Smooth… As in smooth brain. Smooth brain Jasper. Gundam it.

Fang scoffed at Jasper before shaking her head, a grin finding its way across her lips. The man was walking the fine line that separated ignorance and stupidity, and the slayer was finding his stumbling a little bit humorous. She gave him a final shrug and leaned back against her seat, “All right, just fish, hm? We’ll see.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the final dumb thing Jasper could have said. Fang scoffed a second time in under an hour, disbelief clear on her face. “Is that a pick-up line? You know we’re not in a bar, right?”

Besides, Jasper had already technically picked her up, so there was no need for such a line. Picking up on that idea, Fang leaned forward, her lips contorting into a playful smirk. “Are you nervous, Professor?” He was a bit like this during the movie, too, though she simply attributed that to the fact that it was night time and she didn’t really give him an opening to do what he wanted, what guys on movie dates at night often liked to do.

Quietly, without words, Jasper just stared at Fang, now a little considered at the implied dangers of a “codburger.” What was it? The cod was going to be overcooked? Raw? Jasper has had sushi before. He’s not lightweight when it comes to fish. Besides, what even is overcooked fish? Just mushy sea meat that he can still gulp down. Of all the things to be afraid of, especially in this part of Wicked’s Rest, fish was not going to be one of them for Jasper.

“Oh, no,” Jasper shook his head, fumbling for a save. It was. It definitely was a pick-up line, though he may not have intended it as such. Jasper hasn’t been social lately, though to no fault of his own. He tries, but not a lot of people want to have some fun with him outside of office hours. The few that did intimidated him. The rest that he wanted to go out with, have some drinks, maybe a few burgers? Well, he’d rather not get some rumors going around at the university. Dating students was weird. “I was just trying to break the ice.”

“...a little bit,” came Jasper’s awkward admission after a few seconds of silence. The last time they were together, it didn’t really foster a good feeling between the two of them. This made him feel a bit hesitant to do anything now, for fear of a lot of things, most especially getting physical with her, and by that, getting beaten to a pulp. “Nice place…”

“Hm,” came Fang’s ice-cold reply, which was appropriate, considering Jasper was trying to break the ice. Or was that ironic? The slayer could never tell. She wasn’t a wordsmith, and the English language wasn’t her first or even her second language. Learning it took some time, as it was very weird and little all over the place. Just like him.

Heaving a sigh, Fang crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back. Maybe she was being hard on him. Maybe he doesn’t deserve it as much as she thought. First impressions were important, and Jasper had fumbled that, but Fang could surely give him a second chance? Like her late mentor did. “It is, I guess.”

Now it was her turn to try to break her own ice, as she mustered enough courage and self-awareness to soften her stance. “What places do you go to? On your time, I mean,” Fang shrugged the query as the waitress returned with their burgers and seltzers. At first, she was disinterested in his answer, but as she reached for the seltzer, eager to try it, one glimpse of him made her a little more curious. Something about him reminded her of herself, and she hated it.

“My time?” Jasper was pleasantly surprised when Fang made the effort to make their set-up a little less hostile and a little more, well, interactive. He was already munching on the codburger, having found it a little too tempting. If what she was warning him about was truly dangerous, scary, or whatever else, then he wanted to just get it all over with, done with. The first bite was a little soft, maybe too soft, but her question distracted him from delving into that concern much deeper. “Well, I don’t know… Depends on the day, or night, I suppose.”

Jasper reached for his seltzer, taking a quick sip of it, finding the taste a little odd, though it was mostly due to the fact that he had never tasted anything like it. If it was a thing in this neighborhood, then he wouldn’t have known. Jasper rarely went here, even as a kid, even though he had wanted to. Who didn’t want to go to the beach as a kid? “Friday nights, I spend the night out, enjoying my freedom…with drinks,” he opted to omit the part where he usually did that alone. On his own. “What about you?”

“Your time,” Fang reiterated the emphasis, taking a sip of the seltzer and surprisingly enjoying it. Must be a whole seafood thing. Back in Japan, she enjoyed a lot of seafood, even the stuff she didn’t know she’d like, the stuff she didn’t even know existed before then, and has since established a preference for all the white meat, and even the non-white meat, from the sea. Basically, it’s a whole thing with her.

Next, she tried the burger, almost dreading the attempt, but was surprised, again, though pleasantly as well, when the cod in the codburger was very much a cod, tasted like one and tasted pretty fresh, too. Must be her lucky day. Odd.

“Me?” Fang chewed the bite she took as slowly as she could to relish and savor the taste. It was a damn good codburger. Well, hers was. She wasn’t sure if Jasper’s was any better. Or anyone else’s in that restaurant. But she didn’t dwell on that thought. Instead, she tried to think of a decent answer to the question, delving deep into her mind. She enjoyed slaying monsters for money, that was the answer she wanted to give, but of course she couldn’t. “Sex.”

Nailed it.

Jasper almost choked on his food when he heard her reply, coughing as he desperately reached for his seltzer. His eyes were still wet and a bit red when he finally recuperated from the unexpected revelation. Jasper was no prude, so Fang having sex in her free time wasn’t anything that surprised him. What actually got him was the fact that she had offhandedly made the comment, sharing something intimate with him when she had previously only shared hostility with the geology professor.

If they were close friends, then Jasper would have just laughed it off, especially if they had such an intimate rapport where they could joke about such things, talk openly about such personal details. But they weren’t. They had already gone out twice, sure, but the most they knew about each other was that Fang wasn’t a fan of Jasper and Jasper was clearly socially inept. “Y-yeah… O-okay,” he cleared his throat, making sure the seltzer got all the possible obstruction from the burger. “Me, too, I guess. Sex is great.” He had to feign another cough to mask his own embarrassment at his final remark.

Jasper felt like teleporting elsewhere as an aftermath of that exchange, though he wouldn’t know the first thing about that. He might be a spellcaster, but he was essentially a rung below beginner. He was more like a hobbyist, and his magical affinity was more toward earth elemental magic. Teleportation, if it even was a thing, would have been under a different category, he believed, though he was also not well-versed with other categories outside of elemental magic.

Soon, his thoughts had to wander to the possibility that she might invite him over after this for some, well, great sex, but quickly shook his head to keep himself from dwelling over that possibility. It was just a stray bullet of sorts, surely, and nothing was going to come out of this second date. Surely. Jasper swallowed air, feeling his throat dry up from out of nowhere, despite the fact that he had just drank some seltzer not too long ago, finished the entire damned cup even.

Fang let out a brief chuckle, realizing that she was the alpha in this conversation. She should always be. By default. But sometimes, it was much easier and freer to not be the alpha. Sometimes, she did enjoy being the one following another, being second to someone else, someone who steered the conversation whichever way they wanted, the meet-up, the encounter.

Most of the interactions she’d had usually ended with swords drawn, which in her case, was often literally. It’s nice to be able to just chill and put her feet up. With Jasper, that seems to always be the case, even if she had to be alpha. “Yeah? You must get a lot of sex then, being a smart professor guy and all?” It was mostly teasing, as Fang didn’t really want to know. Or did she?

The rest of the “date” went better than Fang expected. At least he was too far to try anything this time, too far to reach around her shoulders and leave his heavy, lanky arm on them, weighing her down like a steel ball shackled to her ankle, too far to brush strands of her hair away from her face and behind her ear. He’s probably watched more stupid rom-coms than actually gotten on dates. To be fair, though, she hasn’t been dating either. Still, she wasn’t watching rom-coms to fill that hole in her life. She’s been slaying monsters at night for cash instead. Not an ideal replacement but still a bit better. “So, what do you think? You and me?”

Jasper blushed, his cheeks feeling hot under Fang’s scrutinizing gaze, so he immediately tried to brush it off with an awkward grin paired with an even more awkward chuckle. “You think?” He thought the question would make him look cool, even though he was subconsciously asking her to repeat her assumption.

“I mean, I am a smart professor guy and all,” Jasper began blabbering to try and find a way to make himself sound better than he actually is, though to little avail. “Professors tend to be smart guys, or smart girls, or women, since, you know, professors need their brains to graduate with their degrees and become professors…” He went on and on and on about unnecessary things, going around in circles, until Fang would stop him and they would find other topics to discuss.

When their conversation ended up with her asking him what he thought about the two of them, Jasper once again choked, this time on air, as he had already finished his meal. He stared at her with wide eyes, unsure of what to say, but slowly realized what she actually meant. Was it an invitation? Of course, it was! She wouldn’t actually ask for his dumb-ass opinion. Fang didn’t seem like someone who’d care for what Jasper actually thought. It was either he was down or he wasn’t, and Jasper would be dumber than dumb if he wasn’t.

The geology professor immediately raised his hand in the air, not moving his eyes away from Fang just in case she changed her mind. “C-check please!”

#‧⋇⊶⊰ para ⊱⊷⋇‧#jasper ✦ langston #‧⋇⊶⊰ season ✦ one ⊱⊷⋇‧#‧⋇⊶⊰ s1 ✦ canaries ⊱⊷⋇‧#date ✦ light #wickedswriting

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madtomedgar · 1 year

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so there's a post going around about how if we were in the succession universe we would all be reblogging the video of roman's breakdown to make fun of him and like...

a) yeah, that would go viral like that and

b) i think that that's bad, actually, and part of the point of that scene, maybe.

So like... I love laughing at evil people experiencing consequences for being evil. Generally I also find random minor misfortunes befalling them funny. But there are a lot of things the internet seems to treat as like... funny or cause for celebration that I don't get. Like. I don't see how someone who is evil dying of old age in their bed surrounded by family is cause for celebration because I don't want that for them! I want them to get hit by a bus! I want them to die young so they can't spend decades destroying other people's lives! It is obscene to me that Antonin Scalia lived so long, while so many Gay people died so young. It is obscene to me that Ronald Reagan got to see 85 and Kieth Harring did not. The older they are the angrier I get because how dare they get so much life, and so many chances to destroy, at the expense of others. So like. Ok sure crab rave when the nasty octogenarian dies but like... we do understand that that's hollow, yeah? We understand that that isn't cosmic justice, right?

And also, I am pretty uncomfortable laughing at people who are evil for normal human things, like crying at their dad's funeral. Or being old. Or having caner. And I think like... yeah ok. Sympathy for the devil etc, Alinsky would roll his eyes so hard because the only important thing is winning and to win you have to take advantage of any weakness in your enemy, and when it's your communists they're glorious freedom fighters but if it's your enemy's communists then they're the end of civilization, BUT.

If one accepts that prefiguring is part of the work of creating the world we want to live in, and if the world we want to live in is one where we have rejected the conservative notion that it is not shameful to have a body that behaves like a body, or to experience and express emotions that have been deemed "weak" by reactionary and conservative philosophies, and if we actually believe all of that stuff about fascists etc being human as we all are, and not inhuman monsters, then...

Idk maybe part of it is that we aren't the kind of people who would mock you for crying because your dad died? Because sometimes the most life-changing thing you can say to a person is actually "I'm so sorry, that shouldn't have happened to you. That must hurt a lot." And like... do I think that "we should just be nice to them"? No, of course not. Is this maybe me just being annoyingly autistic about wanting people to be punished for the things they've actually done in a way that makes sense? Probably. Do I actually think it would have any impact on the Roman Roys of the world if the left responded with sudden sympathy to the video of him breaking down at the funeral, or would make him reconsider anything or change his actions? No.

But it's kind of like how you don't respond to the person who made the bigoted conspiracy theorist post debunking them because you think it will change their mind, but because it might make someone in their audience, or someone on the fence, stop and think and change their mind.

Like. And this is actually how whacko xtian "it's not a cult if it's christianity in america" cults get a lot of people, is they find them when they're vulnerable (like, grieving a loved one) and are just. So so so so so kind and sweet and comforting and supportive, while other people in that person's life are not. And so even though the person doesn't agree with them ideologically, they start going to them because they offer something on a human level that they need, and eventually the whacko beliefs become mandatory for maintaining relationships that person is now invested in and needs.

So like. I think what I'm saying is that while sure, mocking or not mocking Meghan McCain will have no effect on her politics either way, and mocking or not mocking the royals for being old will have no effect on them either, it will have an effect both on other people who agree with you and aren't evil, and an effect on conservatives who aren't famous but who also aren't entirely a lost cause as human beings.

Because it's hard to maintain the necessary cognitive dissonance of "it's funny when they cry because their dad died because they're evil and don't deserve sympathy, but when I cry because my dad died I do deserve sympathy and it's not funny because I'm not evil" when you're fucked up because your dad died. So like... are you actually going to feel good going to people you regularly see mocking people crying for good reason (not people crying because they experienced a consequence. your family dying isn't a consequence, it's an awful universal human experience) with your own pain? It's worth asking.

And also, if someone is a member of that white conservative macho culture that views any sign of humanity as weakness to be exploited, stamped out, or mocked, and something horrible happens to them, and the only people offering genuine sympathy and support are like... their gay cousin and their feminist coworker, that actually might make them reconsider which group of people really has their best interests in mind.

I have seen people get out of nasty christian evangelical cults this way. A family member committed suicide and their church was awful about it because they believe that that's a mortal sin and those people go to hell, and that choosing to do that was indicative of a lot of awful things about a person's character, and therefore they shouldn't be mourned and instead held up as a shameful object lesson for everyone else. And their coworkers who were either members of kinder gentler more liberal churches or who were not christians at all meanwhile were sweet and comforting and supportive, and treated this as a tragic loss and the dead person as someone worthy of love and of being celebrated and remembered. And they weren't high handed about it, like "well maybe that'll make them think about their horrible belief system," they were just there for this person in a non-judgemental way specifically when their church wasn't. And that, not anything about ideology or beliefs, had a major impact, enough so that they left that church (cult) not long later.

So yeah idk. I personally would not be reblogging that video if I lived in the succession universe and I think it's pretty obvious that he breaks down when and how he does specifically because that culture of conservative white machismo that he lives in views any kind of expression of grief as a weakness, and continuing to treat it that way, regardless of the other politics involved, only serves to perpetuate that white conservative machismo culture.

To br clear though I *would* reblog a video of Roman crying about his stupid rocket blowing up and mock him relentlessly for that, because that is just play stupid games win stupid prizes.

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