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wafflesetc · 2 years

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I am utterly heartbroken. I don’t really know what else to say. Do you all remember Hermoine’s bag that she was able to pull everything out of? That’s what I feel like- a huge bag of a mixture of so many different emotions.

(This post may be all over the place, so I apologize for that).

On one level, I can only wish the best for Jesse. Truly, as a long time CPD fan- even an Upstead fan... I just hope that with whatever the circumstances were, that on some level, he’s at peace with the decision. Regarding whether or not it was his decision or if he was forced out like Kelli Giddish from SVU, I am not sure. While I have my own thoughts about it, per how JLS has talked about the show and whatnot, I definitely lean one way over the other, but at the end of the day, unless someone comes out and gives us any indication on which way the pendulum swings, we may never get an answer. Which trust me, that not knowing is a hard pill to swallow. It may be one of the hardest, given how much we know JSL enjoyed not only Jay Halstead, but Upstead, Chicago, the cast and crew.

It feels like a punch to the gut, and it is. I will say this, one news article dropping the bomb at 10:30EST on a Monday night is a little weird. (Not the normal time to drop some kind of important annoucement??)

It’s not a normal news syndicate time, so they were definitely trying to get the news out there, or at least someone was so we wouldn’t even be blindsided by it. (Even though the irony is we were blindsided.) (I think they were trying to soften the blow... Just get it out there and hope it gets swept under the rug quickly.) I won’t be shocked if we get a new promo with footage within the next few days.

I’ve had my fair share of fan favorites departing from a series, but I will tell you... There is something about this one that just doesn’t sit right. Which makes me extremely nervous for how they are going to handle his departure.

I know we are not usually privy to the behind the scenes discussions on contract negotiations. We usually only hear when the show has been renewed for x amount of seasons, and then we usually hear if a character has renewed their contract or if they haven’t.

I don’t know what the stance of his contract was- was it good through season 10, was it only good through 9 and they were in negotiations and some sort of agreement couldn’t be reached by both parties.

For the time being, these are the type of details we have to be okay with not knowing.

I know we only see a small glimpse into JLS’s life and who he is- but from what we know from him, from other people, and how he has talked about this show… He is proud. He put his heart, sweat, and blood into playing Jay Halstead. He loves that character. I’ll reiterate that to note that I kept it in the present tense- he loves that character.

I find a small piece of comfort in that. Regardless of the circumstances which led to his leaving, he loves Jay. He’s proud of the work that he poured into the character… It’s obvious because look at how much of a fan favorite that he is.

I do think, that somewhere along the line, this was more of an unexpected departure than it was a prepared one. I say that because look at the development they have poured into Jay over the last ten years.

“One day this unit is going to be yours.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Hailey. Really, I’m not.”

“Where you go, I go.”

“I want to start my marriage with the woman that I love out of prison.”

These type of sentences and quotes are laid out in a show, in a relationship between two main characters, for no reason. I think they/he were planning on a long haul for Jay. I don’t think you can convince me of that otherwise… Especially, as stated above, how Jesse talked bout the the cast, crew, his love for Chicago, etc. I do know things go on BTS that we will never be privy to, but the joy he had surrounding the job wasn’t something that was fake to me. He truly loved this gig.

What scares me the most is how they might go about his departure. I think it’s going to be one of four ways (@agent-bash had a very similar post about this too):

He gets a transfer and/or a promotion. Obviously Voight isn’t going anywhere, and after the moral compass debacle that Hailey and Jay were on last year, I could see them using this as a way to put Jay as a Sargeant elsewhere in the CPD. This would allow for Upstead to remain together and have the off screen romance continue. (Also leave the door open for him to return in future episodes..

On the job injury- it’s been alluded to in the past with Mouse back in the early seasons, had a medical discharge from the military. I could see him getting shot to protect Hailey, try to protect another victim, someone and the gunshot injuring him in a capacity that he’d never be able to be fully back in the field. Like Trudy… Which would then allow him to be transferred somewhere else out of Intelligence.

Re-enlistment and/or some sort of military contractor offer. While I don’t necessarily see this as a superbly viable option, given how we know Jay has talked so little about his time in the Army… I could see them opening the door for this to allow him to stay with Hailey and write the off screen romance. I just don’t think his character would be super open to going back to the military, especially as an active duty person, given how he responded to the idea when Mouse wanted to go back to the military.

Killing him— sadly, this one is up there and I feel like they could swindle this one. This one though, is the one that scares me the most.

In reference to number 4: Killing Jay would literally ruin not only his character and character development… But it would absolutely destroy Hailey Upton.

Hailey lost Garrett. She barely got closure for that in 5x18… And it nearly destroyed her.

Hailey almost lost Jay in 6x02 when he went off to avenge the death of his father. She nearly spiraled when she saw him lying on the ground, covered in blood.

She almost lost Jay again in 7x09/7x10. We saw her distraught in the hospital- and then again in the bullpen when she threw that coffee mug because it was taking a while for the son to come up so they could use him against his father.

And then she almost lost Jay again with the whole Roy scenario— she was scared he was going to leave her because of a choice that she made.

“I’ve trusted you since the day I met you.”

“I’d follow you blind.”

“We’re always going to be good.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Hailey. Really I’m not.”

“Where you go, I go.”

“It’s a thing that works between us.”

They literally have laid such a strong foundation for Jay and Hailey, that they are…. At least to me, integral to one another.

IF they kill Jay off- I don’t really see how Hailey is going to survive that. I mean… She won’t- will not- survive Jay Halstead’s death. I mean, having to bury him- put him in the ground… I just… No. There is no plausible universe in which (even with JSL departing) killing Jay off would make sense. Especially for her character development. Jay is integral to keeping Hailey grounded, rooted in normalcy, rooted in a home— he’s changed her. His death would break her in ways that would be irreparable.

And also- killing him would undo all of the work they laid for his character and development growth over the past ten years. It would make 0 sense. (The hard part about it is that it sadly is usually the easy route to get rid of a character is to kill them off in some form or fashion.)

Additionally… If they go the divorce route… I just can’t fathom what would actually come between them where it would come to the resolution of them getting divorced. I mean, truly… It would be so OOC for both of them, after the years of pining and the slow burn- it wouldn’t make sense to end them like that. Especially after both of their backgrounds, them taking that step- to be together forever- they both meant it, they both wanted it. They both were in it for the long haul, for forever.

This is a hard thing to grieve and process.

On one hand, with whatever the decision was, why it was made, etc... Part of me hopes Jesse is at peace with it. (Or at peace with it the best he can be.) I truly wish nothing but the best for Jesse, and if this is the best thing for him- then so be it… Conversely, it’s OK to want things for your ship(s) and characters, one you’ve loved so dearly for a long time… Which has been the case of Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton. Ten years for Halstead, half a decade for Upstead. These are long years, where as people you’ve all seen and grown, and gone through things. You’re not just processing the character leaving- you’re processing all that has also happened to you- the friends you’ve made, the memories you have with these characters, the feelings you’ve thrown into this show, etc, that are tied into this show... They are tied into you. You’re grieving all of that, not just the loss of a beloved character.

So remember, through this, be gentle with yourself. With others. We all grieve and process differently.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve or process this information. Take it day by day.

I don’t know how to end this, because it’s all still so fresh.

I can only hope that the writers remember the work that they have laid out the past few years, the foundation of which their characters were rooted in, the foundation and stronghold these two characters share together, and honor that in an exit that makes Jay Halstead the good, honorable man that the is. Truly, the ball is in their court with is this, and I hope they do him justice.

#Upstead #Chicago PD #Jay Halstead #Jesse Lee Soffer #Hailey Upton #Jay x Hailey #One Chicago

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aromanticbuck · 1 year

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No pressure asking about that meta for Jay's exit and the song "She Calls Me Back" because I love your metas and I'm going to be trying to start the show on peacock this month!

First of all, I am thrilled for you to start CPD. Please message me with all of your thoughts. And, of course, when you get to the love of my life, Mouse. Seriously, I am here for all yelling and thoughts and babbles at all times. Unfortunately, I'm attached to this show and all of its characters - yes, even the ones I don't like. It's less that Voight has grown on me and more like... I can't wait to see how his story ends? Whether that means the end of the show or if he gets written out sooner than that. He fascinates me, but that's a different meta.

Jay's exit, though...

I have a lot of thoughts about Jay's exit in general, though I think my overall opinion of it seems to be unpopular? I loved 10x03 and the exit that Jay got, and all of the little details of it, and, because I'm me, how well it ties into how Mouse was written out six years ago. I don't agree with the general consensus that the episode was "bad" or that Jay was "out of character" or any of that. It was an hour of television that I genuinely really enjoyed, so I'll talk it up and praise it with every breath I take because oh my god.

(under the cut for babbles)

Look, I will admit that hearing about Jesse leaving the show worried me at first. They've been playing up the idea of Jay taking over Intelligence one day since season 6, I even had a theory about how Jay was going to become a sergeant and take over the team from Voight over the course of season 10 that I really did believe in. And then we got that headline, and it hurt. It was taking away this storyline I really, really wanted to see, and it was upsetting. But I came to terms with it, and that hurt didn't ruin my enjoyment of the episode by the time it aired, if that makes sense? And then the way they did it... wasn't a disservice to that idea they've been playing up for so long.

And the way they did it, which I still love so much, for every reason - wonderfully in character for Jay, the callbacks to Mouse (probably not intentional but I loved them anyway), the open ending so he can come back - really does consume my every waking thought. Kit and Cíara have heard a lot about my thoughts, however incoherent they might be at times, and however much my thoughts are just... Noah Kahan lyrics.

Because so much of my thoughts on this are just the bridge of She Calls Me Back on a loop. That kind of... stepping back from the what's expected, which was staying in Intelligence and eventually leading the team in a post-Voight era, and stepping into something familiar, which was going back to the army and kind of... marrying these two lives he's led. Jay is off in Bolivia, now, taking down cartels and stopping drugs from even hitting the streets in the first place. he's still Jay, trying to make the world a better place and doing things by the book, instead of changing himself to become Voight because he thinks he needs to take over one day.

Really, that's what was happening. A lot of season 9 was him (and Hailey) getting dragged into Voight's nonsense - covering up deaths, committing more felonies and covering those up, the things that Voight's been doing for the last decade plus that Jay has been trying to stop him from doing since the first season. I really appreciate that Jay's exit involved him looking at that path he was on, saying "I don't want to be this," and turning himself onto a different path that he actually wants to be on, you know? I love the autonomy that gives him, as a character? He saw this life he didn't like and found a way to stop living it, and I'm incredibly proud of him for that.

And the final scene he had with Hailey doesn't make me doubt their marriage or their love or their future at all. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that Jay will take this time to himself, get through his eight months in Bolivia, and when he's back in Chicago he'll keep that autonomy that the narrative gave him, and he'll continue on a path that he wants to be in, instead of falling back into the path that he was kind of... put on? Because Voight told him he would take over one day, it wasn't like anyone asked Jay if he wanted that. It was just expected to happen. And I don't remember if it was a deleted scene or not (because I binged 4 seasons that week end everything blurred together) but immediately after that happened, Jay was stunned and confused and reached out to Hailey while trying to process the idea. i don't think he ever actually wanted to lead Intelligence, but I think the idea of it fed into his exit, in a way. He is leading his own team, in Bolivia, and calling the shots the way he wants to do it, on his own terms. And it's crazy to think that there are very few things in Jay's life that he's gotten to choose for himself, you know?

He enlisted in the army and then stayed there until he nearly died and didn't even have the option to stay in. He joined the police force and did what was expected of him until he climbed ranks to make detective. He chose Intelligence when he had the choice of where to go after a major bust (CFire s2), but I could write another essay about how he potentially only chose it because it was what everyone was aiming for. It was this elite team and he had the strings to pull to get on it - did he want to be there or did he feel like he was supposed to want to be there so that's what he thought he wanted? And then he was told that he would one day take over. Never asked. Then there was the case in 10x03, where he jumped in and took matters into his own hands, took the lead the way he would one day have to if he stayed on this track, and he realized where that would one day lead - to becoming Voight.

I really think that is why he left. And he chose every part of it. He got to make the choice to not become Voight, and to stay Jay, even if that meant stepping back from a life he built to figure out what changes he wanted to make.

Which (finally) brings me back to the bridge of SCMB:

all the pain I should have saved oh, I was too afraid of living life in your footsteps in your heart or in your head oh, I was too afraid of living life in your footsteps

Jay saw the footsteps he was following, and he could see far enough ahead to see where they ended, and he didn't want that. He didn't want the journey or the destination, so he changed it.

#answered #shae tag #lovelymysticmoon #jay halstead #cpd #chicago pd #one chicago #alex says things #this is a jay's exit supremacy account #his exit was so good actually i think about it constantly

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shipcago · 2 years

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The difference between Fire and pd is that Fire has a very big cast and yes while JS was loved, the other character filled his void. And let’s not forget they had to move Brett to go with him for the entire season. PD has 5 main characters and Jay is the most loved one. Him leaving so soon will absolutely destroy the unit and the show. And Hailey is my fav character, but I’m not gonna watch her suffer and suffer and suffer on a show that keep hurting her more than rewarding her and us for sticking around.

Same same same

They’ve never built the other characters up the way they have Jay even if most have been on basically as long. Hailey is probably the closest IMO, and like other people have been saying, she’s so intertwined with Jay that it’s hard to imagine her on the show without him.

Which I don’t want to and it sounds like a lot of other fans don’t either.

Fire invested more in other characters so they managed but it still sucked when Matt left. I definitely drifted from Fire.

But PD losing Jay is a crippling blow and I don’t think they’re going to be the same. I’m just imagining in the not far future there’s going to be some YouTube video about CPD being cancelled and the explanation being something like “a once popular show in Dick Wolfs One Chicago universe, the show took a hit with the departure of JSL who played Detective Jay Halstead. The show was not able to recover from the loss, leading to the long running series being cancelled just a couple seasons later.”

To me, the show is over and any loyalty I have to the universe will be through our wonderfully talented fic writers. But I wouldn’t blame them if they wanted to walk away as well.

It’s just so sad to see. And the fact that this came out almost a month before the new season aired??? Dumbest move ever.

I was so looking forward to the end of hiatus, but Season 10 is gonna be a no go for me. CPD ended in season 9 and that’s that.

#halstead #chicago pd #cpd #upstead #Jay halstead

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karihighman · 2 years

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new/old bts trasse pics via brian luce👍

video from s9 finale below ⤵️

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CeL1-3qjLuC/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

#chicago pd #tracy spiridakos #jesse lee soffer #hailey upton #jay halstead #upstead #trasse #behind the scenes #cpd season 9 #thank you luce!#burzek #patrick john flueger #marina squerciati #same expressions

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go-to-two · 2 years

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Do you have a favorite PD episode?

MEAN. I can't give you one single episode, dear anon. I can give you one from every season, which you did not ask for, but will get anyway!

Season 1: 8:30 PM (1x12) it's the crossover with Fire with the explosion at the hospital. The big spectacle episode- good stuff!

Season 2: A Number of Rats (2x20) WOW season 2 is Voight-heavy. I did enjoy the Yates stuff, though.

Season 3: The Cases that Need to be Solved (3x16) this is a tough episode to watch, but Jon Seda is so solid in this hour.

Season 4: A Shot Heard Around the World (4x08) one of the only true ensemble episodes

Season 5: Ghosts (5x18) Hailey is my favorite, Tracy is my favorite. No notes.

Season 6: Good Men (6x15) my hardest choice! This is the episode that pulled me back into CPD after I dropped it mid-season 4. The guest actor for Aiden is incredible and the "follow you blind" scene is iconic.

Season 7: I Was Here (7x13) admittedly Kim and Adam episodes don't typically draw me in but this one is painful and so, so good.

Season 8: Signs of Violence (8x11) see explanation for season 5.

Season 9: In the Dark (9x04) see explanations for season 5 and 8.

Peace!

#chicago pd #hailey upton #jay halstead #kim burgess #antonio dawson #anon ask

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cpd5777 · 2 years

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I don’t know about you but that finale sucked! No cliffhanger and hardly any Upstead scenes. What did you think?

Hello! Honestly I don’t think it sucked per se, but it was not up to usual CPD expectations. Granted, last year was really hard to live up to!!

I have to be honest, I do think there has to have been some push at some point pre season 9 to give Voight more of a true character arc, and I think this Anna case was the attempt at that. Unfortunately all I think it served to do was take more time from other characters that need more development like Kevin.

I think the Anna storyline was an attempt to “humanize” Voight, but they did so with a CI, who this show has already trained us to basically consider disposable to the plot because “they know what they are getting themselves into”.

Even if I buy that Voight cared about Anna, he was about to put Jay (and Hailey), again in an illegal and precarious situation over some random “new chick”?! It’s absolutely remarkable how awful he is. And how little he cares about his real unit.

I think the real cliffhanger here is it Hailey and Jay even want to put up with his ass next year. They both saved him at huge personal cost during the Roy situation. But to see him willing to do this to them all over again? I think they’re done.

#upstead

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agent-bash · 1 year

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I’m so co fused about how old Hailey is supposed to be. It’s like they keep changing things

It’s because they have changed things. First she was 12, then 10, when her dads diner got robbed. We got he being a cop for 10 years in season 8 then again nearly a full year later in season 9. You could dismiss this as her rounding up I guess. But yeah. CPD isn’t the first show that doesn’t seem to keep track of stuff like that and it won’t be the last, because it’s completely relevant.

I tend to put Hailey’s birthday in 1990, though you could argue early ‘91 as well. If she were a cop for 10 years in 2022, she’d have to be born in that range because rn, and for longer than a decade, CPD requires all probationary officers to be 21 years old. I know it’s a show and it doesn’t have to follow those rules, but DW has been very stringent on following the rules that they can within the bounds of his shows like age.

#Asked and answered

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daydream-wordflow · 2 years

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Crossed Paths on AO3 19th September

Hi!

I was 14 when CPD aired, and I've watched it ever since. It was one of the first shows I took an interest in, even being an ocean away. I found my way through online directs and dubious websites because I couldn't watch it in my home country. Until it premiered, a couple of years later, and it became a family show. We even have some private jokes related to it, and we are currently watching season 9. Although I know what's going to happen, I haven't watched the episodes, apart a couple of exceptions, like 9x09 and 9x13. Jesse's last episode will be an exception, because I won't be able to wait that long to find out what happens to his character. I can't believe I'll have to go through it twice, and I'll soak up every moment of it.

I have to say that even though I'm not as heartbroken by Jesse leaving the show as I was when I first learned about it, I'm still not ready for it. This is such an abrupt departure. I wonder if this is why Upstead happened and why it happened the way it did. Even so, I'm glad it happened. It was amazing while it lasted. However, I can't stop thinking that this is the beginning of the end. I'll remember all their moments through the awesome edits and videos the fandom made, and I will cherish them forever.

I'll keep watching the show, absolutely, until the very last episode. There are still a lot of things I love about it, and I will enjoy the show in every other way I can. I hope, with all my heart, that there is a chance for him to come back, even if it is on the very last episode of the show, or Tracy's last episode. Because that is the only thing that makes sense. Jesse gave so much of himself to Jay, and I cannot believe they will give him something other than a well written exit.

I'm sad for the things we'll never see happening, and for all the Upstead moments we'll never watch. I believe Jay is the heart of Intelligence. Who is going to keep an eye on Voight? Who is going to protect the unit? Who is going to show the other side of policing? Who is going to play the soft, big-hearted man that sees the best in people and does more than he should to protect them? Who is going to take his place and be the second in command? I have no idea what the end will be like, but my heart already breaks for Hailey. I know it's going to be hard to watch, and I can't see her go through another possibly heartbreaking moment.

The whole 'The unit is going to be yours one day' dream was crushed in the worst way possible. I always thought that's how it was going to end, that's how it's supposed to end. With Voight passing the Unit to Jay and I can't believe that was taken away from us. It's not just about Jesse leaving, it's about all the expectations that I had for the show. I truly hope they have the time to give Jay, and Upstead, the ending they deserve. I won't settle for less, even if I have to imagine it myself. Their connection is strong enough to get through this, and they deserve it.

It was an honour to watch Jay grow from this insecure person, getting in trouble for following his heart and the people he cared about, to a very mature man, with a great sense of humour, sure of what he wants, loyal to the people he loves, confident enough to stand up for what he believes in, still with the biggest of hearts. I grew up along with him, and for that I will always be grateful. I learned a lot from watching the show, and Jay's journey. 10 incredible seasons, over 190 episodes, countless hours on TV, many Wednesday nights, one character that will be in the memory of so many.

Jay, Upstead, will always have a special place in my heart, as well as CPD, and all the other characters and actors. But his journey as an actor is not over, and I'm excited to see what's next.

Having said that, I have decided to stop writing about Upstead. I will post what I have, and then I'm done. I started this fic in January and finished editing it in July. I have a couple of one-shots, including first wedding anniversary, written down and that's it.

I also can't write about the end of them, I can't imagine anything else than what, I believe, we were all hoping for, kids, being Sergeant of Intelligence Unit... I'm sure some of the writers in here are going to do an absolute incredible job, maybe even better than the ending we'll have, and I can't wait to read their work.

I started writing a year ago, and it was a good journey. I learned a lot, the most rewarding thing being that I developed writing skills in my second language. Thank you for being on that side.

All the love ❤

#upstead fic #upstead #upstead forever #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #Chicago PD #season 10 #chicagopd #jesse lee soffer #nbc chicago pd #alternate universe

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