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galacticlamps · 7 days

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ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the case of the very long stairway #im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear #i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider #i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo #i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise #(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice)#and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly #i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer #the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort #so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe #and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain #so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book #also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene #but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew #so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here #rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves #just my two cents

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raitrolling · 10 months

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Cracking Up

[Easy reading version on Toyhou.se]

The tweet was a half-truth at best. Velour did not have any private clients requesting an urgent last-minute commission, but he did need the couple nights off to recover before he could return to his jobs as a fashion designer and YouTuber.

The problem was that the truth was much stranger than fiction.

A notebook sat in the cuspblood’s lap, its cover unassuming from first glance. But if one were to flip it open and read its contents, they would find a series of disjointed thoughts scrawled onto the pages. A combination of facts related to the trolls Velour knew, and what appeared to be snippets from his subconscious mind. Occasionally, new sentences would make their way into the book, without the use of any writing implement.

It was a result of a powerful spell formulated by Jikiro and Hanabi, then cast by Velour, which partitioned off a portion of his natural magic that caused him to passively absorb information from others away from his own mind, and into the book’s pages. Something that had become increasingly more of a concern as his magic grew stronger and he took on more abilities not unlike the kitsune that should have raised him, and knew he needed to find a way to redirect the kinds of magic a troll’s mind would not be able to handle, no matter how drastic the action had to be.

In this case, the redirection spell knocked him out for a full day, and made him feel completely drained of magical energy for even longer.

He had left the Takami estate yesterday, finally feeling capable of getting out of bed and staying awake for more than an hour, but still spent his time at his own hive doing nothing but napping on the couch and snacking on fried tofu. Inexplicably, he always ended up craving that after using his magic, and even more inexplicably, it always helped him recover his energy faster.

Velour knew he had to recover as quickly as possible, otherwise his fans would start to worry about his long absence, and he could only doctor so many scraps of fabric into looking like extreme close-ups of his ‘urgent commission’ using Jikiro’s specialty inks before someone would notice he was lying.

And, judging by the knock on the door, someone did.

“Hey, you’re not dead in there, are you?”

Velour’s anxiety was almost instantly alleviated when he recognised the voice on the other side of the door, and slipped the notebook into his modus before he got up to let his neighbour in.

Aiolos looked none-too-impressed when his eyes met the cuspblood’s, and that sour expression turned to one of shock after he looked Velour up and down.

“Jesus Christ Vel, are those sweatpants? The situation is more dire than I thought.”

“Ah, nice to meet you again too, Aiolos,” Velour smiled sheepishly, brushing a hand against the offending garment in question. “I had some leftover fabric a while ago, so I thought I’d make something cosy to wear on my nights off.”

Aiolos gave him a look like he had just spontaneously grown a second head as he made his way into the apartment, and plopped himself on the couch like he has done hundreds of times in the past.

“I have known you since we were wrigglers, and I know you don’t just take ‘nights off’. You work yourself into a near-nervous breakdown stressing over deadlines weeks in advance! Also, what happened to that urgent client of yours?”

Velour went blank, realising he outed his own lie.

“Ah, well, I’m just… Taking care of my own health! Because this job requires my full attention, so I don’t want to make any mistakes because I’m a bit sleepy!” The kitsune troll clapped his hands together and put on a well-practised smile to try and cover up his blunder.

Aiolos quirked an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. “So, can I see the commission?”

Velour’s smile fell, and he sunk back into the couch like he was attempting to become one with it. The other blueblood snorted.

“Yeah, thought so.” He clicked his fingers, then pointed at Velour. “So, alright, spill. What’s got you hiding away from your hoity-toity celebrity schtick? I know this isn’t like you at all, so something’s up.”

Velour paused, looking down at his lap. He couldn’t lie to Aiolos, someone who has known him long enough to see through his lies immediately, but there’s no way in hell he’d believe the truth. He’s always been someone who scoffed at anything even slightly out of the ordinary, and he gave everyone in their old friend group a hard time for the tiniest things. Velour’s love of dolls and being scared of the horror movies they watched together when they were young, Liiore’s shyness and eventual decision to go anon, and Mikiel’s… Everything.

But, what else could he say? If he just said he was feeling tired, Aiolos would push for a better explanation anyway, regardless of if Velour wanted to give one or not. He’s never been the type to treat someone overly softly, and tends to cover up his concern for others with insistent prickliness. He cares for his friends, but in a way that sometimes disregards their feelings because he refuses to come across as someone capable of being so mushy.

It reminded him of his own moirail, in a way, but Jamie was much softer towards him. But, if Jamie could wrap his head around magic…

The cuspblood took in a deep breath.

“You’re not going to believe me, but… I’ve been practicing magic.”

The silence that filled the room was deafening. Even the clock on the wall seemed to have stopped during this exact moment.

Aiolos opened his mouth, gestured as if he was about to speak, reconsidered, made another vague hand gesture, and then finally opted to put his hand to his forehead.

“Velour.”

“No, I’m telling the truth, I swear!” The kitsune troll held up both hands in a show that he had nothing to hide. “And, well- I’d give you proof, but… The reason why I’m taking time off is because I cast a spell that was so powerful I’ve… Used up all my magical energy for the time being.”

He smiled sheepishly as a small chuckle escaped his mouth. He knew exactly how unbelievable it sounded, but what else was he meant to say?

Aiolos gave him a deadpan look, and there was another long silence before a loud sigh left his mouth. He shook his head.

“Alright. So. Let’s get this straight. You’re taking time off, because you’ve tired yourself out playing with magic. Like full-on, Harry Potter Wizards of Waverly Place magic, which we all know is definitely real.”

Velour averted his eyes.

“And you can’t prove to me that magic is real and you can cast spells, because conveniently you’ve used up all your magical energy?”

Velour hesitantly nodded, still not giving his neighbour any eye contact.

“And you expect me, your friend who has known you for your entire life, to just believe that you’ve always been a ‘mage’, when you never brought it up before, ever?”

Velour gave another hesitant nod. “Well-”

Aiolos cut him off.

“Magic. Fucking magic! Good lord, what’s next? You have a matesprit, but they live in East Alternia and don’t like photos so I can never meet them in person?”

The look on Velour’s face was evident that he would have liked to correct his friend and tell him that actually it’s his moirail who lives there and it’s only a temporary residency, but knowing that would be a bad idea, he kept his head down and his lips pursed.

Aiolos groaned, throwing his hands up in disbelief, then - to the surprise of the kitsune troll - slapped one of his hands onto Velour’s shoulder. The cuspblood flinched. The other blueblood should have known that was his bad shoulder, but he had other concerns.

“Vel, you need help.” Aiolos’ tone was almost uncharacteristically concerned, had he not been speaking to his childhood friend. “Look, I don’t know what that psycho fish bitch put into your head, but-”

“It- It’s not that!” Velour waved his hand, attempting to calm the other troll down. “I’ve… Gotten over what happened with Veruco, at least as well as anyone could.”

“By what? Playing pretend? Getting really into larping as a wizard? Yeah, real picture of mental health right there, nothing says ‘I got over it’ like telling me you’ve become buddies with Ron Weasley.” The antelope troll scoffed.

“I… Knew you wouldn’t believe me, but I am telling the truth,” Velour attempted to sound more insistent, but Aiolos has never been the type to back down.

“Uh-huh. Just like how you were telling the truth about your mysterious urgent client? Is he in the room with us right now?” He mockingly looked around as if he was looking for some sort of spectre, and the cuspblood looked down again in shame. “Look, Vel… You’re falling apart. You haven’t had a break from your own life since you were six, and now look at you. Getting caught getting cosy with your creepy fans and needing to make an apology video for it, believing in magic like a wriggler, hiding away in your hive and dressing like you’re just about to settle down for a sad romantic movie marathon while crying into a tub of ice-cream… As your friend, I gotta keep it real with you. Take a longer break, and get help, or I’ll make you get help.”

Velour scrunched up his face. He couldn’t deny that a lot has gone wrong in his life, and yet he kept trundling on trying to pick up the pieces as they fell. A break would be well-deserved, but… An extended hiatus would bring rumours and speculation about his current mental health, it would cause discourse amongst his fans that he wouldn’t be able to control, the media and paparazzi would get involved, and it would just explode way out of proportion.

Not to mention, apart from his current exhaustion, he felt completely fine. In fact, this has been the most content he’s been in sweeps.

He shook his head.

“Thanks for worrying about me, Aiolos. But I’ll be fine after a few days, so I don’t think I need the break.”

Aiolos looked at him, then out of the corner of his eye spied Velour’s phone sitting on the coffee table. He smirked.

“Fine. We’re doing it my way, then.”

In a single moment, Aiolos had jumped up from the couch, swiped the phone off the table, and then bolted to the other side of the room to make space between himself and his childhood friend. Velour made a panicked noise that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a fox-like yip.

“Aiolos! What- Give that back!” He got off the couch as well, making a move towards Aiolos.

The blueblood snickered as he unlocked the phone.

“Oh my god, your password is still Liiore’s wriggling day?” He jeered, as he began furiously typing up a tweet from Velour’s account.

Velour visibly paled.

“I- I was going to change it, but it’s an easy combination to remember! It’s muscle memory, okay?”

He made a grab for the phone in Aiolos’ hands, but the antelope troll was quicker, nimbly dodging Velour and dancing around him to reach the other side of the room, still typing away at the same time. He was clearly mocking the much slower troll.

“Aiolos, please. You don’t know what you’re doing,” Velour looked over at him, becoming increasingly more worried.

“Yeah, I do. It’s called helping you, because you’ve never been able to help your own damn self without watching everything blow up in your face,” The other troll grinned, but there was a judgmental tinge in his tone.

Velour continued to chase him around the room, Aiolos ducking and weaving around furniture with the phone still firmly in his hand, while Velour was struggling to keep up. Then, in a last ditch effort, he made a lunge for the blueblood, and tackled him to the ground.

“Hey-! Hey! What the hell are you doing, you fucking psychopath?” Aiolos tried to shove Velour off him, but he had already grabbed the blueblood’s wrist to move his hand away.

“Just- Aiolos! Give back my phone!” He whined, and desperately made a grab for it with his free hand, only to be kicked by one of Aiolos’ flailing legs.

“I told you, I’m doing this for your own good! Besides- Ow!” Aiolos was cut off by Velour accidentally smacking him in the face mid-wrestle.

“Sorry!” The kitsune troll apologised, but was quickly back to trying to pry his neighbour’s fingers off the phone. “But, seriously! You don’t understand!”

“You don’t understand, you idiot!”

The two trolls continued to squabble, just like they were children once again. Velour didn’t like doing this, it reminded him too much of what happened between him and Mikiel, but he didn’t know how else to stop Aiolos. The blueblood kept up a good fight, but didn’t have to for long as the cuspblood was suddenly stopped in his tracks by a sound.

Both his phone and his computer lit up and rang out a notification tone. Then another. Then another. Quickly, it was becoming a cacophony of beeps and boops.

Velour froze, suddenly feeling a bit lightheaded. Aiolos took this opportunity to shove the cuspblood off him, and Velour barely reacted to getting knocked over.

“Aiolos, did you…?”

Aiolos sighed loudly, picking himself up off the floor.

“I sent the tweet before you tackled me, dumbass. What do you think I was doing while I was running around?” He replied, exasperated.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

With the amount of notifications flooding in, all his social media pages must be getting inundated with messages from his fans. Not to mention any emails or messages from the media that are certain to follow. What is he meant to do? He can’t just rescind the statement and go ‘haha, sorry! My neighbour posted that :)’ because that would raise even more questions and make his fans lose faith in him for joking about something so serious. But… There’ll be so many rumours, so much speculation, so many interviews and people hounding him for more information, he’d have to make a statement, pretend that he really did have a breakdown and needed the time off, try to reassure his fans that he’s fine now while knowing that every word, every movement will be closely scrutinised as people try to figure out what’s wrong with him…

He felt sick to his stomach.

Aiolos watched his neighbour shudder, struggle to breathe, and fight his way out of a full breakdown. There is a look of regret on his face, but before Velour can notice it, he swallows down those feelings and covers it up with a judgmental frown. He can’t admit that he was wrong now.

“You’ll thank me later,” He said, but in a way that almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself instead.

Velour wasn’t sure he would.

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・°♢ Velour💙 💎 ✨ Charms restocking soon!♢°・ @.velveteenVanities Taking an indefinite hiatus due to mental health concerns, further updates coming soon. 263 replies - 8.8k retweets - 20.2k likes

#drabble #velour #aiolos hummel #diamond dust zone #the one in which vel and aio talk way too much and also vel has More Bad Things happen to him #also pardon the h*rry p*tter mentions i couldnt think of any other generic magic-related pop culture reference aio could make

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