#tw thanatophobia
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Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5
The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )
#mlp#my little pony#mlp infection au#mlp infection#twilight sparkle#Sorry for leaving the ending open ended but I genuinely couldnt decide on just one way for things to turn out and I liked the idea of#leaving it open the most#in my mind sunset's final message is like we found a recording from the later days of the infection and we dont know what happened in the#end because the recordings stopped/ended#In any case I think they were able to put twilight and the others to rest#but who knows who survived the “final battle” and who didnt#also yes Twilight created harmony syndrome but not on purpose lol#it was the result of her botched attempt to create a spell that makes ponies immortal#obviously it backfired lol#and the irony is that twilight ends up dying before any of her friends#if they didnt want me writing my little pony horse tragedy they shouldnt have left mlpfim off on the note that all of twilight's friends#were growing old without her#ending thats been haunting me for five years#if anyones seeing this this is an open au btw so feel free to adopt any of the ideas if you like! : )#tw thanatophobia#thanatophobia
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Bruce by Chris Samnee
Batober prompt: Absence
#chris samnee#bruce wayne#thomas wayne#martha wayne#thomas and martha wayne#batman#batober#dc#parent death tw#tw parent death#parent death cw#cw parent death#death tw#tw death#death cw#cw death#thanatophobia tw#tw thanatophobia#thanatophobia cw#cw thanatophobia#thanatophobia#angst tw#tw angst#angst cw#cw ansgt
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Pairing: Yandere!Mahito x Reader
SFW
Word Count: 1'129
Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapped reader, Talks about death and the afterlife, Mahito's experiments, Mahito is an asshole (but what else is new).
Additional Notes: Ya girl has Thanatophobia and therefore Reader does as well. Reader also does not believe in an afterlife here.
“Why do you look like that?”
The question made you frown, attention shifting from the dripping water coming off the pipes above your head to Mahito’s crouched form beside your makeshift bed.
“Like what?”
“That,” he said, lifting a hand up and poking your cheek. You could feel the indent of his finger digging into your teeth. “You look like a sad wet dog.”
You were quick to smack his hand away, expression turning annoyed. “I’m fine.”
He tilted his head and you suppressed a sigh. Usually, you were quick to quip back at him with something you thought was clever, like his comment being something every woman wanted to hear - spoken in your typical sarcastic tone.
You weren’t surprised that he’d find that kind of answer underwhelming.
“What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Come on.” He dragged out the last word like a needy child, sprawling himself across your lap so you’d be forced to fully focus on him. “It’s obviously something.”
The sigh you finally gave in response held far more weight than you had wished. He grinned. “Nothing you can do anything about.”
He snorted. “Did I offer to do anything about it?” he poked your cheek again. “Tell me what’s going on in that little mind of yours.”
The slight twitch of your eye that followed betrayed the fact he had you exactly where he wanted. It made you sick just thinking about it.
“I’m just…” You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment as you looked away from him. “I can’t stop thinking about what happens… after.”
You could feel Mahito’s hair grinding between your thigh and the back of his skull as he shifted his head in your lap. “After?”
You gestured vaguely before looking back at him. “After we die.”
He blinked. “That’s it?”
The disappointment in his tone wasn’t surprising. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the topic was either boring for him, or he just genuinely did not care. Regardless, it clearly wasn’t something that interested him in any form.
“You asked.”
“I did, I just didn’t expect it to be something so uninteresting.” He said as he sat back up, a small pout on his face.
You cringed at the confirmation of your thoughts, but anger quickly overtook the embarrassment.
“And you wonder why I don’t want to talk to you, you just make fun of me.”
“Then stop making it so easy.” He grabbed your jaw before you could turn your face away from him again. “Why are you wasting time on something so dull?”
“I can’t help it,” his lips twitched up at how petulant you sounded for a moment. “How can I after what I saw?”
His eyes widened in almost a madding form of glee as his face twisted to match the expression.
The macabre sight of his experiments was something that was burned in your mind forever. No matter how much you tried to scrub the events from your memory, you could not get the stain out. It was as permanent as those ghastly red stains on the walls and floor of the sewer he had dragged you into. As sick and gut-wrenching as the pleas for help from the ones who had enough mental capacity remaining to beg for death while your own words were caught in your throat.
And yet it made you wonder if that really would be a mercy because, to you, there was no afterlife. There was just… nothing.
And that terrified you almost as much as what Mahito was capable of.
“Awe, did that upset you?” He cooed, running his thumb along your cheek in a gesture that would be sweet if it wasn’t so condescending.
You smacked his hand away, teeth grinding as your anger came back up. “Fuck you.”
His giggles were like nails on a chalkboard. “Later, right now I wanna know if you’re gonna keep being a downer over something that happened days ago.”
“You can’t be serious.” The incredulous words left you before you could stop them because you knew he was. It was written all over him, without shame or reservation.
Sometimes you wondered if it was even possible for him to have any before you were reminded of the fact he was a Curse with each perverted expression of schadenfreude.
Your disgust coiled inside your gut like a parasite.
“So you are.” he let out a puff of air that blew a few of his shorter blue strands away from his face. “They’re going to die no matter what, what does it matter to you if they go to heaven or whatever fairy tale you humans like to believe in?”
“Because I want to know if I’m going to end up the same as them or not.”
There was a shift in his expression once you said that. Gone was the usual childish glee, replaced temporarily with god-awful authenticity.
“You’re not going to.”
He said it with such conviction that it made you laugh for a moment.
“I don’t believe you.”
You decided at that moment that Mahito’s frowns were far worse than any of his smiles could ever be as he looked at you directly in your eyes.
He stayed like that for a little while. Silent. Analyzing.
Then his eyes gleamed. “You’re scared.”
Of course you were. “No.”
“Yes, you are, don’t be silly.” He got in your face again, amused. “Your eyes don’t lie, I can see your soul trembling.
You shoved him away. He let you. “Why are you so afraid of something that’s inevitable?”
“Yes, how foolish of me to fear the end of my own existence and the destruction of everything I was and ever will be.” The words were bitter as you spoke them, eyes narrowing.
He snickered. “There’s no point to birth and death. It’s only your meaningless attachment to life that makes it terrifying, you know.”
You could only scoff, unable to come up with anything to say in response to that. You returned your gaze to the pipes, completely appalled.
When you failed to say anything after several minutes he sighed and crouched in front of you once more. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not going kill you.”
His hands cupped your cheeks as he brought his face about an inch away from yours.
“If you somehow died, I still would not let that be the end of you.” His tone shifted into a sincerity that caught you off guard. “Your physical body would be gone for the time being, yes, but I’d still have your soul.” His thumb brushed over your lower lip and he grinned for what felt like the millionth time. “And that’s something I intend to keep around for a very… very long time.”
© absolute-flaming-trash 2023. Do not repost, modify, copy, or claim.
#riri writes#Mahito#Mahito x Reader#JJK#Jujutsu Kaisen#tw yandere#tw death mention#tw afterlife mention#tw kidnapping#tw death#tw thanatophobia#I was having A Moment and this was the result of said moment
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It’s bizarre to hear anyone talk about their experiences with their mortality or whatever, like, when they first conceived of death as a thing that could happen to Them Specifically, or like, when they started thinking about death more, and they mention like, their teen years, or their twenties, or their thirties, and I just… fundamentally cannot relate, because I first started conceiving of my own mortality when I was like 5 and my grandma died of brain cancer.
My parents got me a book for children that had entirely developmentally appropriate information on what death was and how to process it, of course it brought up all the important stuff like that everybody dies and death is normal and all that shit, but as we were atheists and the book was also, presumably, for atheists, when it discussed what happens after you die it mentioned that some people believe that nothing happens after you die, IE; you just stop existing.
And unfortunately, even at that age, I actually was entirely capable of understanding that “everybody dies eventually” also applied to me, and I put this together with the second bit of information that the book taught me, the concept of cessation of existence, and developed a lifelong crippling trauma.
Admittedly, it didn’t hit me in full force until my OCD got really severe in late elementary early middle school, but the idea of like, not having spent every night for years lying awake in crippling terror so severe it caused me actual physical burning pain over the fact that I have a finite ever decreasing time on Earth that even now is constantly ticking down with no way to stop it and no way to avoid it, and that in full likelihood that there’s nothing after death and there’s no afterlife whatsoever? It’s just hard to imagine for me.
Like, I would literally just sit there counting down seconds thinking about how every second I get closer to death. I still get kind of triggered by counting numbers manually in general, because it so easily ties into a realization I had that I could easily go find a calculator for the average human lifespan in days and just count down the days until I die, and I just can’t imagine how anyone spends their life at least not a little terrified of that fact, the shortness of the human lifespan and how finite and entirely realistically countable that it actually is.
Even now that I’m mostly over it, I’m only mostly over it because I’m able to ignore it and get on with my day, rather than actually have come to terms with it, I just push the thoughts away whenever they come till the next time they come.
I guess it’s just entirely baffling to me, to hear people talk about how they never processed their mortality as a kid, or how they just started thinking about it now that they turned 30, or almost anything about how most people talk about it in general, just because the idea of living your life not haunted by the omnipresent spectre of your own mortality is so completely foreign to how I’ve lived my life in complete and utter terror of how finite it is.
#death#thanatophobia#ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#vent#mortality#potentially triggering#triggering themes#tw thanatophobia#my posts
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CW: Thanatophobia
Duty
Standing there forever watching,
The old and weary guardsman stands.
His duty kept him going
Through all those years of watch.
Gone are all his comrades now,
Fallen one by one.
Yet here he stands remembering,
And doing still as he was told,
For duty is his blood and soul.
Abandoning his post he dares it not,
For fear of what to others it might do.
But when he stands there all alone,
The wish is growing strong and stronger,
That someone else might take his place.
So he may leave and follow,
Those that left to sweetest rest so long ago
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No one ever talks about the terror of being aromantic and growing old
Bear with me its 1 am and im crying in bed but like
I dont want to be alone when i grow old. I want to live with other people, not just children who visit once or twice a week or friends who come over. I want to share my life with people and make food for the people i care about and find someone already up and going about their day when i wake up, or be the one going about my day when they wake up.
Sure i have roommates and ill have more roommates in the future. But most of those will get into relationships and settle down with their partners.
I wont. Ill still be single and alone 70 years from now. Except by then i wont have roommates anymore
Ill just be alone.
I know about people like thos girls who bought a house together to grow old in. But i dont have enough close friends for that, heck i barely have cloae friends at all. Ideally i might over time
But for now im lying awake terrified that ill die alone.
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william has always focused more on the future than the past or present — so he says. teasing others for their sentimentality, rolling his eyes at any of his loved ones who get a little too weepy over past memories. but he clings to the past in a different way: he gets bitter over what he was, annoyed that he can’t change his old ways. sometimes that resentment will grip him hard and he won’t emerge in a good mood until days later. mostly he’s thinking about how wasted the past feels: the missed opportunities, the passing of precious time. if only he’d done more. if only he’d been a little harder - working. etc. while he prefers only to talk about the future and his grand plans, the past is very much a large part of his fear of death & determination to have more time. he rarely thinks about the present and the time he’s wasting through useless experiments or neglecting his family at all.
#(u) william talking tag#fave tag to throw things in :3#tw death#tw thanatophobia#(( this is sponsored by me. literally just by my own fears. we ball ))#(( well except i don’t try to cheat desth i go to therapy . hashtag rune supremacy ? ))
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if a penis gets hard when blood rushes to it and soft when blood leaves it does that mean humans are hard all the time and dying is just them going soft and that’s why it’s called sweet release
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I guess the most comforting thing when having a fear of death is that it's going to happen to everyone and you can't stop it, even when you believe that nothing comes after it (like me), because you're not alone in having to deal with it, as it's the inevitable fate for all people who have, do, and will exist
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Xtra
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
A random headcanon would be that Mariku very much suffers from a removed case of Thanatophobia.
And he is very selfish in that regard.
Like Marik he didn't have a lot of chances to live life in his childhood, even less, since he was mostly the Alter Ego shut out of any actions and removed forcefully as far as possible from the premise.
Nobody really wanted him around, in fact he has been rather viewed as an obstacle.
All people wanted effectively was to WANT to make him vanish.
Now that he got away from near death and experienced what it feels like to live in a way, even though it is weird compared to others, he is unwilling to give that up, of course.
He is finally comparatively free, able to walk around, be around others, interact with them as himself... and he has some little extra spice that makes up for any deficits he experiences as a non-human creature.
What causes him this anxiety... is that the context of his life is easily a victim to change.
In the state that he is now, he is pretty much immortal. He cannot die, take out somebody goes beyond the human ability to destroy him in particular with magic. So what is the problem then?
His existence is still firmly linked to a higher force, a very extreme one. His forces exclusively go towards holding the entity at bay, because if battle should ensue once more, he will be unable to decide his fate any longer. If the Shadow Realm is destroyed, he will go along with it. All he has is lent power and borrowed time and that eats at him a lot.
He doesn't want to vanish and he doesn't want to die. Not when he finally finds things that are worth living for.
The problem is - as always - that he is a byproduct. And the outcome isn't his to chose.
#ooc#headcanon#doomed by the narrative#the fight will be there some day#either the worth of his life will be destroyed or he will die#there is no other outcome#and it stresses him out#hc#ofthepuzzle#dark headcanons it is then i guess#tw thanatophobia#ask
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Kevin Conroy tribute by Damion Scott
#kevin conroy#rip kevin conroy#damion scott#batman#batman the animated series#btas#dc#death mention#death tw#tw death#death cw#cw death#thanatophobia tw#tw thanatophobia#thanatophobia cw#cw thanatophobia#thanatophobia
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merge
#v1model#ultrakill#mirage ultrakill#ultrakill mirage#dect#ultrakill dect#i know nobody's asking but i'm not too interested in drawing stuff for DECT. DGMW i love it and its beautiful characterization#that being said though i'm really uncomfortable with topics of like coming to terms with death and (idgaf if its cringe) v2's death as well#im not a v2 is alive truther in a way v2's death is rlly the only literary direction its path could take but also. cc death makes me squirm#anyways though i just pulled this out of my ass pls enjoy you mirage truthers. i'll still draw her ofc! just not in dect#tw death mention#cw death mention#the text that i wrote here is also stuff i write on behalf of my own personal grapplings with thanatophobia and etc
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Thanatophobia Pride Flag
[IMAGE ID: a flag with five horizontal stripes with the central one being bigger. Their colors are, from top to bottom, grey, brown, white, grey and dark green. In the center of the flag there is a dark brown symbol of a skull. END ID]
[IMAGE ID: a flag with five horizontal stripes with the central one being bigger. Their colors are, from top to bottom, grey, brown, white, grey and dark green. END ID]
Thanatophobia: irrational fear of death. Can also be called death anxiety.
#tw death#death anxiety#thanatophobia#cardiophobia#illness anxiety#illness anxiety disorder#tw anxiety#phobia#phobia flag#redesign#recolor#design#flag design
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thanatophobia crumbs ?🙏
(also, as someone whos working on an au themself, do you have any tips for the writing process?)
Sure! Have some info:
There no illusion discs in this au; nightmares that Evan(CC) sees are not real. How did Michael see them? When ghost haunts a person some part of their memory transfers to someone they haunt.
AU ends on fnaf 6, Henry and OMC are the same person. Because Henry was not holy he suffers his own form of punishment.
Toy and Funtime animatronics(excluding Baby) are not possesed. Also, Toys even before they got reprogrammed by William they had bad face recognition technology, but Fazbear Entertainment didn't really care.
William firstly talked to Charlie, comforting her, and only after that got behind the corner and then killed Charlie.
Child ghosts don't target children; they don’t remember who killed them but remember an adult figure they followed. Hiding behind a mask would save you, like it did in fnaf 2
Thats all I want to tell rn! I like that you got interested
As to how to write your own au, you should focus on key points this au will change. If you are writing fnaf au, it can be hard because of games messy timeline. Be not afraid to change and simpilfy some points of the story if you need to!
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I’ve heard from people that when the world around them isn’t exposed to religion, they’re a lot less… afraid of death.
Death anxiety for me is crippling. Every time death is mentioned in any serious capacity, I get this ping in my gut, like my stomach isn’t there. It’s louder than most of my thoughts, and knowing how little emotional stimulation I receive, that’s incredibly dangerous. But then I go and talk to my friends of people on this site and they talk about how they or their friends weren’t exposed to religion the way I was- receiving a non-secular education, being made to believe that an almighty will torture me for eternity if I don’t love it, etc- have less of a fear for death or for talking about it. Suffering and fighting for your life aren’t as taboo as it is for me. People speak openly about it, they justify the pain they feel and talk about fighting back against it.
So I wanted to ask, if anyone that sees this was religious and became atheist after some time or was atheist for their entire life, can you reblog, reply, send a message or an ask, anything you feel comfortable with, talking about your perspectives on death? I would like to hear because I’ve been in an environment where God is the norm for so long, and I want to know if the pain I feel and the dread from death I get came from something more than brain waves.
#death anxiety#tw death#Tw death anxiety#Thanatophobia#religious#religous trauma#religion#tw religion
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sometimes it feels like theres no point in doing anything because the ultimate truth is that im going to die. why start or finish anything, why experience shit, why go through pain and heartache and guilt and anger if im just gonna die? on the flip side though, experieincing the nice emotions is pretty cool. and the negative emotions have their own charm. i just sometimes w1sh it was easy to give up on myself, to just not do anything so i could fade away. so i could die, passively, without putting in any effort. but our bodies and brains arent made for that. they cant just let us die. so really living is selfish anyhow.
#depersonalization#derealization#dissociation#thanatophobia#death anxiety#death related anxiety#tw ed implied#tw death#tw vent#vent
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