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iamthescalesofjustice · 16 hours
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All my previous pcs have immediately gotten violently pissed off at raphael's riddles but for wyll I truly believe that once he got past the initial "aw fuck a devil" he would clap his hands together in delight over a random guy doing a funny little rhyme for him
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iamthescalesofjustice · 21 hours
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The Siphoner 🩸 A character class for The Hidden Isle. You can preorder the TTRPG here
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iamthescalesofjustice · 21 hours
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Zimmermann
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iamthescalesofjustice · 24 hours
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picture this: there is a crowd. behind them is a train track. in front of them is a fence. beyond that is an expanse of sand littered with landmines and the dead bodies of gnomes that didnt make it to sea after they hatched. you hear a bell toll and look up to see a church floating on the water and pulling into the port. however, they see the gnome corpses and hear the screams of the crowd and decide to depart. another gnome triggers a landmine. sans is there
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iamthescalesofjustice · 24 hours
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not to get into it and i have better things to do with my time than nitpick fics other people are clearly excited to be writing but like sometimes i wish people would just do a quick wiki search before they decide that the presence or absence of something is going to be a major plot point.
petty level of this grievance: admittedly opals are not super important in asoiaf but they do show up several times. fire opals too. a quick check of search of ice and fire could have told this author this before they made 'character coming in from [redacted crossover setting] has Never Before Seen type of jewel! this is super valuable bc they dont exist on planetos and selling these will get this character Set For Life!' especially given that said crossover setting really does gave several suitable materials that genuinely dont exist in westeros.
low-moderate level of this grievance: treating lions like a mythological creature thedas only has bare rumors of, and then having the inquisition heavily lean on an existing lion-based title for [redacted crossover character you can figure out the identity of by using your brain] when lions are literally the heraldic animal of the ruling family of orlais. doing this lionhype thing would therefore obviously have some political consequences. instead something that could have lead in to an interesting plot angle is simply an infuriating nothing.
high-moderate level of this grievance: if you are setting out to write a self-declared uplift story using a books-only setting and have put enough research and effort in to draw up reasonable, detailed maps based on known canonical geography and territorial claims of a region, you have little excuse for not knowing that there is, very intentionally, no mention of potatoes in the series (this series where food is often deeply important on a material and symbolic level, to the point where one of the common talking points to razz on the writing is 'sudden, very detailed description of food that stands out from the rest of the scene'). uplift stories require some thought as to what would or would not be available, where/how some resources could be found/built, etc. if westeros already had potatoes as a normal staple crop the situation would be massively different! i know you know this bc your character outright ruminates on the historical impact of crops spreading between the old and new world. if mitigating the famines is a major plotline in your uplift story why wouldnt you make a story beat from it? or at least just have the potato discovered and implemented? the classic excuse of 'oh turns out it originates from sothoryos and only a few groups are willing to broach that place looking for goods' is right there! why would you make it come pre-installed?
major level of this grievance: [insert comic panel of that genie saying "[REDACTED]" here lol]
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iamthescalesofjustice · 24 hours
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Dragon Age Discussion Prompt: Do you have any theories/thoughts/headcanons for Orlesian mask culture?
i think there’s got to be a lot of courtly romance focus on unveiling the mask. i’m going to conclude that nobility always wear masks in public, for drama. so there’s rumours about true faces, and the parts of the face they consistently choose to hide. removing your mask in someone’s presence is an intimacy you can’t take back. the height of courtliness is to cover the face of someone who loses their mask rather than take a peek
not to be a star wars fan, but absolutely the place for phantom menace style shenanigans with decoy servants taking up the mask of the real noble. wouldn’t it be a fantastic scam if a bunch of handmaidens had to hide a noble’s death by pretending to be her. i bet there’s exaggerated stories passed around about a ball where everyone was so sure there would be an assassination that nobody was actually in attendance. (nobody “of importance”, of course)
i like that dai orlesian merchants emulate the masked style. in general, fashions tend to trickle down in poorer forms. the masked empire makes a good start by introducing the fact that servants wear cheaper versions of their master’s colours. although i think it would make sense if serfs were legally forbidden from covering their faces
some guests may choose to appear at an event, not in masks that display their house and allegiances, but as generic, standardised “characters”. hosts may invite less well known guests they wish to patronise to appear in this way. other nobles choose to do this for the thrill of a night not beholden to expectations. depending on how thoroughly they disguise themselves, the “game” may simply be pretending not to recognise them. however, the thrill is danger, too: these are the masks of choice for bards. to appear as a mysterious stranger, or more daringly to prevent a noble from arriving and pretend to be their attempt at a poor disguise, is expected and even welcomed. after all, if no bard has sought entry, the event must be truly dull
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love people referring to the dracula offseason. i can't stop picturing exchanges like "well, we're in the offseason" "the Superbowl is literally this weekend" "no, not football. dracula"
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I’m Christian and respect the order of creation as God intended it but I’m not gonna lie if I could take a massive vat of agar and grow an alive shopping mall made out of red blood and meat and feed it living human bodies to make it expand larger with more shops and amenities, Without hesitation, Without question I would do exactly that
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in the jaime lannister riverlands disco elysium game drama is obviously just lannisterisms. shivers works 50% of the time for weirwood premonitions but the other half it’s just shivers: HEY YOU PUSHED ME OUT OF A WINDOW. KYS IDIOT. jaime cant figure out what that’s about. his conceptualization isnt high enough
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disco elysium like game where you're jaime in the riverlands
BRIENNE, MAID OF TARTH- Ser Jaime?
EMPATHY [challenging: success]- She trusts you. Enough to call you Jaime. When was the last time someone called you by your name?
ESPRIT DES CHEVALIERS [medium: success]- SER Jaime. Can you be more than the Kingslayer?
BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: Ser?
EMPATHY [trivial: failure]- Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, she looks more like a man in a gown than a proper woman.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [trivial: success]- WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?? YOU WANTED HER, YOU WENT AND GOT HER, BABY!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
DRAMA [legendary:failure]- Are you into that sort of thing, sire? What would your sister think?
BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: I am grateful, but…
EMPATHY [formidable: success]- She hesitates. She is not used to kindness.
VOLITION [formidable: failure]- The world isn’t kind. She ought not get used to kindness.
DAMAGED MORALE -1
BRIENNE, THE MAID OF TARTH: You were well away. Why come back?
SHIVERS [godly: success] EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO HARRENHAL. YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT.
EMPATHY: [medium: success]- How could you not?
ESPRIT DES CHEVALIERS [legendary: success]- You saw her, standing against the darkness with a flaming sword, and called her a fellow knight.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [trivial: failure]- SHE WAS NAKED IN THE DREAM!
COMPOSURE: [trivial: failure]- Which could mean nothing. Don’t worry about it.
DRAMA: [medium: success]- Sire, you cannot let her know you care about her. At all. Lord Tywin’s son and heir does not jump into bear pits out of sentimentality.
1. Ransom money is always a worthwhile hustle.
2. [Esprit Des Chevaliers- Medium 8] Knights rescue maidens.
3. For the glory of House Lannister, of course.
4. I am in love with you because you are my narrative foil and we are going to restore knighthood to glory with our matching oathkeeper swords.
5. [Drama- Trivial 3]- Come up with the perfect insult to remind her that the world is as unkind as you are and belief otherwise is simply naive.
HIGH- 83%
+1 Internalized Lannister Ideology.
+1 It’s what she expects from you.
-1 Told her about Aerys.
-1 Bi-Sexual Underground.
-1 You dreamed of her.
⚀⚀
CHECK FAILURE
YOU- A dozen quips come to mind, each crueler than the last, but nothing comes out.
COMPOSURE [godlike: failure] You can only shrug at the other knight.
YOU- I dreamed of you.
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we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven
Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
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It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.
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The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.
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It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.
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And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.
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Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.
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A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.
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Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.
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At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.
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And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.
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collection of posts in my harry du bois tag
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I'm gonna be honest I don't think it's fair to give Big Boss shit for believing in Santa as a grown man. He met multiple ghosts. He fought a guy who could control lightning. When the fury died he turned into a fireball with a screaming face that chased after him. At a certain point I feel like he was just making an educated guess
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I love me a pseudo-historical arranged marriage au but it always nudges my suspension of disbelief when the author has to dance around the implicit expectation that an arranged marriage should lead to children, which a cis gay couple can't provide.
I know for a lot of people that's irrelevant to what they want from an Arranged Marriage plot, but personally I like playing in the weird and uncomfortable implications.
So, I've been thinking about how you would justify an obviously barren marriage in That Kind of fantasy world, and I thought it'd be interesting if gay marriage in Ye Old Fantasy Land was a form of soft disinheritance/abdication.
Like, "Oh, God, I don't want to be in this position of power please just find me a boy to marry", or, "I know you should inherit after you father passes but as your stepmother/legal guardian I think it'd make more sense if my kids got everything, so maybe consider lesbianism?", or "Look, we both know neither of our families has enough money to support that many grandkids, so let's just pair some spares and save both our treasuries the trouble".
Obviously this brings in some very different dynamics that I know not everyone would be pinged by, but I just think it'd be neat.
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Evgeny Sedukhin - “Symphony of the sixth blast furnace” (1979)
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theyre in a polycule
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huh
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