#could something like this ever happen in real life
Text
A nightmare forces you and Wooyoung to confess to each other
drabble drabble
warnings: crying/ reader is a bit anxious/ wooyoung likes to tease
San had felt your body twitching next to his on the floor. He didn't think anything of it until he heard soft whimpers falling from your lips. He lifted his body and turned to face you, not moving the arm your head was resting on. Your eyebrows were pulled together, eyes squeezed shut, a few tears had slid down the sides of your face.
San gently shook you. "Y/n. Y/n, wake up." He wiped away your tears and pushed your hair away from your slightly sweaty forehead. On the other side of the room, Seonghwa and Mingi were watching, unsure of what to do yet. He smoothed his fingers over your eyebrows, attempting at relieving a bit of the tension on your face. "Y/nnn."
Your breathing quickened before you shuddered awake. You blinked a few times, unable to make out where you were. It only took one second before you were sobbing into your hands, unable to stop even with San squeezing you tight, whispering, "It's okay, it was just a nightmare." Mingi sat himself to your right, patting your shoulder while Seonghwa was in the kitchen filling a glass with water.
You'd calmed down a bit, eyes still wet with tears when Seonghwa returned, quickly chugging the water before getting up. Mingi spoke up. "Aren't you going to tell us what happened in your dream?"
You groggily mumbled, sleep still in your veins. "I need to find Wooyoung." He wasn't in the living room with everyone else or in the kitchen. "Where is he?"
"I thought you guys weren't talking to each other?" You turned to look at San, unsure of what to say. You and Wooyoung had argued about something stupid and neither of you could see the other's point. You hadn't said a word to each other since that morning.
"He's not here." Mingi answered your question.
"What?" You panicked a little, your intrusive thoughts louder than ever. What if the dream was real? No, no...
Seonghwa must've sensed your panic when he replied, "What he means is that Wooyoung went to buy some snacks. He just left a few minutes ago, he should be here by now."
You didn't utter a word as you unplugged your phone and looked for the nearest hoodie. You dialed Wooyoung's number.
Two rings. "Are you calling to tell me you realized I was right?" He smugly asked. You can almost see the smirk on his stupid face.
You sniffled and wiped your nose. "Where are you?"
“Not too far from the house. Why?”
“I’m coming to you.” You rushed to put on your slippers and tossed on your hoodie and almost tripped when you walked out the front door.
Right before you closed the door, you heard Mingi yell, "Make sure your boyfriend got me those chips I like!" Seonghwa and San laughed, knowing you and Wooyoung had been secretly pining for each other for a while, but neither of you had the courage to do anything about it. They always teased you about it and you always ignored them.
“Wha-are you okay? Are you crying?” You could hear his footsteps on the other line come to a halt on gravel.
“I was crying, so?” He snickered, ready to tease you. “Shut up! I had a nightmare and it was awful.”
You walked down the sidewalk, ignoring looks people were giving you. Your anxiety was still high from your dream and you were having trouble breathing. Your vision was slowly being blocked by fresh tears.
“Hey, hey, calm down. Okay? I'm on my way back, so you'll see me soon." You didn't reply, focused on taking deep breaths while speed walking. "What was the dream about?"
"You."
"Oh? Do you always dream about me?" You couldn't see, but you knew he was biting back a smile, eyes mischievous.
"Not like that, Woo! I- ugh- I watched you die in my dream- please don't ask me how- and I basically lived a whole life without you and...Woo, I don't want to live a life without you. Ever."
The other line was silent. All you could hear were his quickened steps on crunchy gravel and the plastic bag of snacks he bought bouncing off his body.
"Woo?"
"Do you have a green hoodie on?"
"Yeah..."
"Look up. I see you."
And he was right. You wiped your face and hung up the phone. You ran to each other, stopping arm's length away. Both of you were breathless as you stared into each other's eyes. Not a word was spoken and not a word needed to be spoken. Enough was said with this one gaze. But yet you felt the need to speak, to explain, to tell him what you've been dying to say for years now.
Your lips barely parted when Wooyoung stepped forward, dropping the bag in the process, and pulled you in by your neck. His hand stayed there as his other arm tightened around your upper body. Surprised, you hesitated for a moment before finally embracing him just as tight, taking a deep breath. His faded cologne that you complimented so much still lingered on his clothes.
You kept your hands on each other even after you pulled back. Wooyoung spoke first. "I feel so stupid." You gave him a look that read what the hell are you talking about? He continued, never once breaking eye contact. "I don't know why I never said anything before. Actually, I do know. I was scared that telling you how I felt would push you away or change everything. I can't even explain how much you mean to me, but trust me, I-what you said before? About not being able to live without me? I sometimes imagine what my future will look like and you're always in it- no matter what. Y/n, I want you in my life. I don't want us to be friends. I want to be yours...if you'll have me."
"I-that was better than anything I could've said." Your voice just above a whisper, eyes wide as you stared at his face.
"Wow, this is what I get for pouring my heart out," he joked, his hand sliding from your neck to your jaw.
Your lips quirked up, "I do want you, Wooyoung. How could I not?"
His eyes flicked to your lips then back to your eyes. "Can I-"
"Yes."
You wanted to cry again when his lips met yours. Your cheeks burned under his hands. The kiss was soft but full of so many years of longing. You never knew how much you ached for this until right now.
Wooyoung pulled back, resting his forehead on yours. You watched his teeth tug at his bottom lip.
He quickly pecked your nose before saying, "I leave for five minutes and you end up crying for me. Clingy much?"
You blink in disbelief, mouth agape. "I should've known that heartfelt speech was too good to be true. One more strike and you're out, Woo."
He places another chaste kiss to the tip of your nose. "Hmm, you do know you're wearing my hoodie, right?"
You look down. Whoops. This really wasn't helping your case. "...it was in my room..."
The smirk on his face only grew wider. "You really are obsessed with me, huh?"
You rolled your eyes and withdrew your arms. "'I'm leaving."
Wooyoung caught your wrist and pulled you back, trapping you in his arms. You let out an oof from him squeezing the life our of your lungs. "Oh, nuh-uh. I just got you. You're not going anywhere."
a/n: fuck the crew and their snacks ig
#wooyoung x reader#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#jung wooyoung x reader#wooyoung fanfic#wooyoung x y/n#wooyoung x you#ateez fanfic
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HIIII I JUST READ YOUR BOOTHILL IDEA ABOUT PREGNANCY AND I AM WELL FED 😭 i love how angsty it is. oh boy i'm sure struggles a lot during his s/o's pregnancy. like...it has lots of cry and self-conflict because he may thinking that he isn't helping his s/o. there gonna be small arguments and misunderstandings. it's hard for the both of them and the baby. 🥹
ohhhh yes. yup. decided to take a real angsty route with this one. I added some mentions of his actual backstory here, bc my og one was written before his backstory was released lols
Boothill definitely cries during your whole entire pregnancy. He also has a lot of bad thoughts about himself during it, too.
At first, he tries to hide it, and either subtly cry, or just simply wait until you’re no longer in the room or the house. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s not happy because of the state he’s in.
He used to be human, he used to be flesh, and most importantly, he once had a daughter of his own, and that's what crushes him the most. He fears so much that he’s almost going to replace her, even though he knows deep down in his heart that it most definitely wouldn’t be able to happen.
He also feels so bad about not being able to do normal human things for your during your pregnancy :(((( he knows how much you want to be able to be soft and intimate, to take baths and be able to have a cozy massage and just a cozy person around in general, and he’s the exact opposite of that. He doesn’t even think he deserves the husband title anymore.
He literally once asked you why you’re still with him and not someone else. You explained that you loved him and you wanted to be with him, and even then he never really expressed the way he felt about himself to you but you could sort of see it in his eyes. He didn’t like the way he was and the fact that he can’t be what he refers to as a “proper dad” to his kid.
He knows it’s hard on you, too, and he also knows that you’re catching onto his harsh thoughts, and you’re catching on fast. It caused an argument a few times, on how you’re hurt that he’s not expressing his emotions, he doesn’t want to, it turns into a “do you not trust me or something?” conflict on your end, and a “I just don’t know what to say without hurting you” conflict on his end. Misunderstanding that likely won’t just dissipate.
There was one argument that you both had when you were nearing pretty close to your due date, and he decided he was going to walk out midway through and not come back for about a week. For some reason, he chose a petty route, leaving you anxious and super betrayed, considering he refused to answer his phone, too.
The argument was over something that seemed incredibly stupid, if you both must say so yourselves. He was, once again, insecure, and he wouldn’t tell you why. That was what bothered you- did he not trust you enough? Did he seriously not want to be a part of this baby's life? Why else would he just walk out?
To say it made you super anxious, scared, and lonely was an understatement. You were left with the thought that you’d have to give birth alone, and go back to your original game plan that you already mentally set up. You thought he genuinely left you.
That was, until he walked back into the house on a random afternoon that next week. He ran up to you and apologized, allowing you to cry it out in his steel arms. He felt so horrible, and he vowed to you to never, ever do that again.
He tries to start letting you in on his troubles from that point on, but there still seems to him like there's a barrier blocking his words from coming out. Sometimes, he just blames it on his synesthesia beacon, which seems to work for now.
He also lets you see him cry more often, but that stops when you give birth. He doesn’t need you to be more overwhelmed than you already will end up being.
#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#angst#honkai star rail angst#hsr angst#boothill#boothill x reader#boothill hsr#boothill honkai star rail#boothill angst#x reader#x reader angst#cw pregnancy
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How does post-tadpole DU drow feel about his past self? Does he even see himself as the same guy, or is it more "that was another person"? I love how all of us get to interpret how the amnesia affects Durge's sense of identity and I'm curious how the drow in the present feels about this past version of him once he has full context. Does he fear accountability for what the Old Him did or does it not really cross his mind? How do his friends deal with the revelation that Gortash drops on them at the coronation (re: you used to be Bhaal's Chosen).
This is a great question!
He definitely divorces himself entirely from the person he used to be, and you could say he's right to do so. The man DU drow was between becoming Bhaal's chosen and being betrayed was a very specific, tailored persona - He was boisterous, he was loud, he was talkative, he concerned himself with how his hair looked, how his clothes fit and how they were made, he liked to be noticed for his achievements and he was a proud and self-titled extension of Bhaal's body who denied himself individuality to the point of abstaining from ever being named.
If Gortash, or anyone else, happened to disclose even a third of this and his prior life to him, DU drow must have scoffed in their face and understandably come to the conclusion that it weren't only his memories that had been wiped - his whole personality had.
He doesn't care about vanity! Except for his body and build, but that's because he needs to stay in shape to survive out there, of course. He's not loud or demanding - well, except when he has to be to get what he wants. And of course, he's his own man now - whoever that man might be - with a stubbornly strong sense of individuality and bound only to his own whims - which just so happen to be to fulfill Astarion's every desire (or what he assumes his desires to be).
Then there's the teenager who arrived at the temple. Quiet, distrusting, borderline feral with a desperate need for comfort and companionship that he had no understanding of. The kind of person that he would have later laughed at as the Chosen for being primitive and clueless.
It's honestly very funny how he has grown to be a perfect mixture of those two individuals and has fooled himself into thinking he is a brand new being instead. He thinks he is not to be accounted for for any of his previous actions or life choices - not even in a "I didn't know any better" type of way; literally it's as if they weren't his doing at all. He sleeps great at night, besides the nightmares.
As far for how the others reacted, I think Shadowheart feels surprisingly similar about it. Whoever he once was, he isn't anymore - and he has kept whatever this thing is under control enough not to gut them, night after night, so clearly he is trying to fight it. Having no memories of the past herself helps, as well as having disavowed her own previous identity - not only in sympathizing with him but also in the sense that she doesn't recall whatever havoc the bhaalists spread across the Sword Coast prior.
Astarion feels like Astarion feels. His reactions as a romanced companion felt very sufficient and fleshed out to me. He's known something has been wrong from the start, he has nearly fallen victim to it himself and watched DU drow trash and struggle with it while gagged and bound. Things simply fell into place after the revelation and while it was more than he had bargained for, he had gotten into the water with both feet at that point. He probably proceeded to go home and weight his options ("PROS AND CONS OF DATING A MURDER PRINCE - PRO: FAMILY RICHES AND POLITICAL INFLUENCE? - CON: MIGHT MURDER ME REAL BAD) but he would have stuck to DU drow's side whatever he chose to do and made the best out of it.
And of course, he understands what it is like to do bad things against your will.
He also understands that that doesn't really apply to DU drow.
Gale! Ohhh Gale. I think given the experience Gale had had thus far (being antagonized, mocked, made to beg for donations that would keep him from exploding like an egg in a microwave, having his heart lightly broken for a second time) he was in self preservation mode - express the due shock, then say it's fine, and that he'll get through it (you do not believe he will) play along until you can get the crown and then whatever happens, it simply won't matter anymore to you.
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There's this... thing I want to try out involving spiritual medium-ing, where you summon a lingering spirit to talk through you...
It's dangerous, but I want to try it anyway along with adding rapid change effects to the mix.
Prepped my average nerdy body with the spell, and summoned up a big jock who lost his body just a bit too early,
And basically let him share. What do you think will happen to me?
Dude… I’m sorry but that's a horrible idea. It’s one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if you have a possession kink (which I’m not shaming, I’ll admit that possession can be hot), or are just really altruistic guy and want to help some poor jock who passed on too soon experience some semblance of life, but you are not thinking this through. You’re allowing another human soul to enter your body. I don’t think I have to tell you that most human bodies are supposed to have one soul in them. So this… this is going to get weird.
You, knowing it was already dangerous to have someone possess you, plan to cast a spell on yourself that would change your body as you did it, and you didn’t wonder if those spells would interact in a way you didn’t expect them to. I can think of a hundred different ways this could go terribly wrong. You could simply turn into the jock who was possessing you, with him changing your body to fit his needs and then pushing your soul out into the netherworld. You could end up as some sort of werejock, transforming into the jock who possessed you both physically and mentally at some time of day or whenever you encounter some trigger. Any number of things could happen really. But I think I know what would happen. I think I know the spell you’re planning on casting on your body, and it’s more powerful than you think it is. When it senses two souls in one body, something that most human bodies can’t handle, the spell will react… and split you in two.
It wouldn’t be as graphic as you’re probably imagining. Magic, even the accidental magic you’d be using, is rarely gruesome unless you want it to be. It’ll be quick too. A flash of light, some pressure, a little pain, and soon there will be two of you. One body for each soul. It’ll be almost like a resurrection for the jock you’ll be summoning… but of course things won’t be that simple. Even for the small amount of time your soul and his soul are in the same body, they’ll have a large impact on eachother. His soul will most likely be the stronger one, since it was strong enough to survive after death, so he’ll have the most influence. See, when you split it won’t end up with one version of him and his new version of you, or even two versions of you. In the end you’ll end up with two versions of him. You’ll end up bringing back the jock, but becoming his twin.
It won’t be all bad. You’ll still be you, just a slightly altered version with more jockish characteristics and a new muscular body. The jock who you summoned will have changed a bit too, sharing some of your memories and traits. In a way you and him will end up like real twin brothers, each your own person but having a lot in common, like brothers do. If you go through with this I’m sure you’ll end up a hot jock with an equally hot brother who loves you dearly. It might not be what you were looking for but it’ll be a good life. Here’s just hoping I’m right.
#muscle growth tf#muscle tf#jock tf#jock transformation#jockification#nerd to jock#possession tf#twin transformation#split transformation
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More random things in Blue Lock I find endearing:
-> Brothers
LOOK AT THE HAND PLACEMENT OF SAE. JUST LOOK AT IT. LOOK. AT. IT. OHMYGOD I'M GONNA CRY.
Oh god.
It's tough to explain, but to see him supporting Rin's arm instead of the trophy makes me want to punch a wall. It feels like, "Yes, we won this together, Rin." OHMYGOD! AAAAAAAA!!!
-> Hushed wisher
I really don't think we have ever seen Noa coaching any player other than Isagi, so him silently rooting for Kaiser caught me off guard real hard. Of course, it doesn't seem like much of a big deal, but to see that Noa hadn't completely taken his eyes off of Kaiser and that he hadn't completely pulled away his trust from Kaiser hits a certain type of emotion in my heart.
Considering that Kaiser wants to win over Noa too—a fact Noa, probably, knows—makes everything feel a bit.. bittersweet.
-> CHEERS!!
The above panel happened after Shidou scored a goal against Barcha and honestly—
CUTE!!!
I mean, BM was next in line to face PxG—it's probably the reason why they were watching the match live—and they were going to face Shidou which makes them rivals, and yet, when he does something cool, they all go, "WOOHOO! THAT'S COOL!!" instead of worrying or being jealous.
It's called sportsmanship, I guess?
It's sweet.
-> BM's Dad
There's another translation, but I find the above one way better because it's so... soft.
I mean, Noa has always been shown as this cold, emotionless person who inhales and exhales logic, so it was sweet when he tried to reassure Kiyora—when he showed some kind of compassion. It was like, "Hey, Kiddo! It's okay, don't worry, you'll play the next time! Cheer up!"
It also makes it sound like even if Kiyora were not to have the required stats for the next match, then Noa was prepared to against his own ideals and let Kiyora play regardless.
Sweet!
-> Protective
When Nagi got pissed off because Barou's violent behaviour nearly hurt Reo. Like, just look at that stance, he was ready to beat the crap out of Barou if Reo wouldn't have stopped him.
No matter what label you give Nagi and Reo—lovers or friends—you can't deny that they are probably the best thing that happened to eachother.
I really want what they have.
-> "It's their love language"
They barely knew eachother and yet when these two started to brawl, they all intervened immediately—Nanase and Isagi are literally hanging onto them with their dear life. It's tough to explain, but I found the gesture really sweet, like, they didn't know them! They could bash open their skulls—it wouldn't affect them at all and yet, they are trying to stop them!
Adorbs!!
Also, Chigiri was on the other side of the field, I guess. He came running!!! So sweet!
-> First friend
The way Bachira blindly believed in Isagi. Like, he had full trust that Isagi will come and play with him. He never doubted him at all! The healthiest duo of Blue Lock!
Also, look at his duck lips. Cutie.
-> "Welcome to the academy!"
Anybody who has shifted to a completely new place full of completely new people knows how good and relieving it feels when others make an effort to help you feel welcomed.
No idea if those three extra characters got selected in the tryouts or not, but they were nice. If Kaiser would've met them earlier, then they all would've surely been good buddies.
-> Beloved Ace
The way everyone instantly got mad at Shidou when he hurt Sendou—sweet! Also, the fact that they all refused to play if Sendou didn't play makes me giggle.
I adore bonds like these so much.
.
.
.
Pt: 1, 2, 3.
Probably the last of this series.
#blue lock#bllk#itoshi sae#itoshi rin#noel noa#bastard munchen#kiyora jin#nagi seishiro#mikage reo#bachira meguru#michael kaiser#sendou shuto#雪 ranting
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Will you be Mine?
pairing: bang chan x reader
word count: 738
warnings: none
genre: fluff
a/n: i’m so sorry for not posting for longer than a month. had some exams and then i forgot to post. sorryyy!! to make it up to y’all, here’s a fluffy one [which took 2 weeks to write] hope y’all like this one and enjoooy <3
i walked around the vast courtyard, waiting for my boyfriend, Ha-joon to finally come. he’s a… i guess you could say he’s a bad boy, but he’s not that bad, honestly.
he’s sweet and caring when he wants to be, but if you piss him off, he can turn your world into a living hell.
but the thing is, i’m not dating Ha-joon because i like him. okay, maybe i do now, just a little bit, but i have a soft spot for this other guy. and that spot has been there for a really long time.
that guy is Bang Chan and he happens to be my best friend.
but sadly, i have no chance with him. because one, i’m his best friend. nothing more. and two, he has a girlfriend. Kang Ga-young.
she’s pretty, a bitch, stuck up and spoiled. the thing that bothers me the most? i saw her cheating on Chan. even more sadly, i can’t tell him, because he’ll accuse me of trying to break him, and the ‘love of his life’ up.
can’t you see you’re the love of my life?
Ha-joon finally showed up. ten minutes later til the bell rings, and who was clinging to his arm? whispering things in his ear? a glowing smile on her face, was none other than Kang stuck up Ga-young.
a rage of fury, furious-er than ever, boiled my blood. by boyfriend, even if we weren’t a real thing, and Chan’s girlfriend. Even if she was a bitch.
no one should be cheated on. no one, and considering our star signs, they both are in for deep shit. seriously deep shit. imma kill them both. but Chan? Chan’s gonna be so hurt.
i stopped my stubborn march and halted, thinking. those idiots don’t deserve my attention. i’m outta here. i turned on my heel and banged my face into a chest. “oh, I’m sorry.” i said, only to look up and see Chan.
“hey cutie. where are you off to?” he smiled.
“Chan, i-“ i said. “wait, why are you smiling?” i asked him. he smiled wider as we began to walk.
“i’m just happy to see you.”
“oh?”
“where’s Ha-joon?” he asked. i sighed and jabbed my thumb behind me. he looked over my head where Ha-joon and Ga-young were standing.
i looked up to him. to my surprise, his expression did not change. what, no mourning over Kang?
he looked down at me. his brown eyes boring into mine. “i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay. i’m the one who should be sorry. what Ha-joon and i had, was nothing, and it’s your girlfriend that cheated i’m-“
“Ga-young didn’t cheat.”
“come again?”
“Ga-young didn’t cheat. i broke up with her.”
“why?”
“because, i, realised something.”
“what?”
“i didn’t belong with her.” he said, his eyes shining of emotion.
“she was never mine, and i was never hers. what we had was never real. when i was with her, everything seemed forced. i was forced to dress fancy for her, always stay at the top of things, even if i didn’t want to be, she used me. like i was her slave or something.” he told me.
“i- i’m sorry Chan.” i said, biting my lip. but he didn’t appear sad at all. on the contrary, he was happy about the break up. and since i didn’t care about Ha-joon, i guess everything was okay? there was a short silence until he broke it.
“hey, Y/n?” he called my attention. i looked up and before i could reply, he had smashed his lips on mine. his hands grabbed my waist and pulled me closer as his unimaginably soft lips moved above mine, making me unable to resist the urge to kiss back.
and i did, cupping his cheek with my hand, my other arm around his neck. i brushed my lips over his, trying to fill the kiss with the love i felt for him, leaving no place for any other emotion so that he knew, how much i loved him.
leaving no place for words, no place for any one else in our worlds.
the only thing that broke us apart, was the bell. he backed away, and let me go. his dark eyes looked into mine again as we panted slightly. he put his forehead on mine and took my hand and stroked it gently.
“will you be mine?”
~
#skz fluff#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz x reader#stray kids#bang chan#bang chan x reader#bang chan x y/n#stray kids fanfic#bang chan fluff
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Too Good To Say Goodbye pt 5
Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage/stillborn
part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5
I couldn't put this off anymore. I had to talk to Logan about the night in the delivery room and I had to tell Lando about my reoccurring dreams. I know I technically haven't done anything wrong and I haven't cheated but something about my dreams have been feeling a little too real. My feelings for Logan might be too real.
No, stop that Y/N, Logan treated you like shit, there's no way you possibly like him. No. You're not that naive , you know better than to have feelings for a man that treated you like shit. But he also gave you a kid. A kid you so desperately wanted, one you needed to have, to love, to hold, to care for, to cherish after my first born passed.
I'd gotten off the phone with Logan shortly before Lando re-entered our room.
"She's finally back down, her pacifier fell out of her mouth." all Lando said before he got back into bed, trying to cuddle me. I felt so awful with myself and felt like I didn't deserve his comforting touch so I scooted away and attempted to get out of bed.
"Hey what's wrong? Where are you going?" a hint of sadness in his voice but that was quickly covered up with a simple clearing of his throat.
"Shower. Me and Lily are gonna hang out. Maybe you and Oscar could have Yelena for the day? I know Oscar has been begging to take her out and be the favorite uncle but I don't trust him alone with my daughter." a chuckle leaves my lips as I try not to sound nervous.
Why is the thought of having a civil conversation about the well being of my daughter with her father making me feel so icky and nervous? Part of me longs to have a healthy relationship with Logan, I mean he was my everything. Logan made me believe in love, he gave me 2 wonderful pregnancies even if I'll be able to never meet my other baby.
I quickly gathered things that I would need for my shower, a McLaren t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a bra, underwear, my Bose speaker, and a pair of slides before I made my way into the bathroom. I turned the shower on hot before I set everything down and got all my hair products that I'd need.
I took my H/C hair out of the bun I'd just had up prior, letting it fall past my shoulders in a curly nappy mess. I loved my hair don't get me wrong, but all the products I needed for it and how fast it would get nappy would sometimes be too much for me.
Stepping into the hot shower, I let it flow over me and letting my hair get soaked before I started lathering on some shampoo. While I was working the shampoo on my scalp, I couldn't help but imagine a life where Logan and I were endgame, a life where we didn't have split custody of our daughter, a life where when me and Yelena went to the paddock we were going into the Williams garage to cheer for Daddy instead of going into McLaren to cheer for mommy's new boyfriend, a life where little Theo James Sargeant was still alive.
Thinking about little Theo always made me emotional, I couldn't ever imagine a moment in the future where I could talk about him and not want to sob and quite frankly, I don't want their to ever be a time where it doesn't. I'll feel like I forgot about him and that's the last thing I want.
Maybe if Theo was alive none of this would've happened, me and Logan would still be happy, we could have 2 kids instead of 1. If Theo were here all my problems would be solved, I would be happy, Logan would be happy, but I wouldn't be with Lando. Life had its ups and downs, I wouldn't trade my relationship with Lando for the world.
It felt like I was lathering my scalp while being deep in thought for hours but in reality, when I snapped out of my trance I heard the ending of Taylor Swift's All Too Well (10 minute version). I quickly rinsed the shampoo out before quickly conditioning and brushing my hair out. I put my hair up in a little bun to allow my hair to soak up as much conditioner as possible while I scrubbed the rest of my body clean, I decided that today would be one of my ‘everything’ shower days so I also grabbed Lando’s razor that he has in the shower and shaved my legs and armpits.
Once I was done shaving, I took my hair out of the bun and rinsed the conditioner out while simultaneously raking my hands through my hair to get rid of the knots that formed. Once that was done I turned off the shower, wrapped my velcro towel around my body and wrapped my hair in a towel wrap. I’d looked at the time on my phone while trying to change the song, only to realize that I’m supposed to meet Logan at a little coffee shop that was 10 minutes away, in 20 minutes and I wasn’t ready yet.
I’d quickly a no makeup makeup look before quickly drying off my body and throwing my clothes on. I took my hair out the wrap and quickly, but efficiently worked some product in my hair to make sure I still had the curl and bounce when it dried.
I was so busy rushing out of the bathroom that I almost ran right into Lando who was holding Yelena.
“Oh there’s mommy!” Lando says while he points in my direction while simultaneously poking Yelena’s tummy “We were just coming to say bye to you. Oscar is waiting in my car” a smile appears on my face. Lando’s been so good to me and how do I repay him? I’m going behind his back to talk to my ex and baby dad about reoccurring dreams I’ve had about us being a happy family after our little “moment” in the delivery room.
I place a quick sweet kiss against Lando’s lips before I place a big fat one on Yelena’s head “Sorry I took long in the bathroom. Took an ‘everything’ shower, you know how it is.” a small chuckle leaves his lips before we hear a honk from outside “You guys should get going before Uncle Oscar gets mad” I say while I also place delicate pokes on Yelena’s tummy. A quick nod, faint goodbye and a goodbye kiss from Lando was what I got before he left.
I checked my phone again, I had 5 minutes to get to a coffee shop that was 10 minutes away. I quickly shot Logan a text saying that I was gonna be about 5 minutes behind schedule because I got caught in ‘traffic’. I figured it was believable when Logan shot me a ‘All good, I’ll be here when you arrive’ text.
——
When I’d arrived at the little coffee shop I spotted Logan in a quiet corner. He quickly spotted me because he’d basically leaped out of his seat to welcome me.
“Hey, I figured since you were gonna be late, I’d just order your drink for you. I got you a y/f/d, I hope that’s still your favorite.” the nervous smile that sprawled across his face made my heart clench. He was so cute, oh how badly I wanted to grab his face and pull him close to me. I shook my head to rid the thoughts in my brain.
“Yep, once my favorite always my favorite.” I graciously took the drink from his hands before we both sat down. We sat in silence for what felt like forever before Logan started the conversation.
“So, I called you here because, oh man, how do I say this? I asked you to be here because,” he let out a shaky breath before continuing “because ever since that night in the delivery room, I haven’t stopped dreaming of you. About us, all of us being one big happy family. Me, You and Yelena just living the life and I can’t help the yearn for that. I know you want nothing to do with me but” he placed his hand on top mine that rested on my drink “I know I fucked up big time all those months ago, and I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me, but please, give me one more chance. One more chance to prove to you that I’m a better, changed man. To prove to you that I’ll do anything it takes to be the best father and husband I can be. I love you and Yelena, will all of my heart, soul and bones I love you.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, I can’t tell him I’ve had the same dreams and that I feel that way too. The universe has a weird way of trying to get people together.
I pull my drink up to my lips which caused his hand to fall off mine. “Logan, I- We can’t- I’m with” I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath before I tried to continue “Logan, I love you more than you’ll ever know. You gave me a beautiful daughter and a life I never thought I’d have. I owe you so much but that debt I owed you went straight down the drain the moment you said that I should’ve killed myself, the moment you said I was another piece of ass to you and the moment” a few tears slipped “The moment you said you could impregnate ANY woman.”
I placed my drink down before grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table to wipe the fallen tears off my face. A beat or two passed before anyone said anything.
“Do you ever think,” Logan waited a beat before the continued, almost as if he was regretting what he was about to say “Do you ever think that if Theo were still here, none of this would’ve happened? That we’d be happy and together, that Yelena would be able to meet her big brother?”
I could see the tears forming in Logan’s eyes and the tears that once stopped falling came right back.
A choked sob left my throat at the mention of our late son. My body shook with so much pain and sadness that I hadn’t notice Logan left his seat. Not at least until I felt his big strong arms wrap around my body in a tight embrace. I could feel his body shake in his own quiet sobs. We stayed like this for what felt like hours, just in an embrace, sobbing, in public, where everyone is staring.
“Y/N?” Oh no, I recognized that voice. We pulled apart at the mention of my name turning to see Lando pushing a stroller and Oscar following suit “I thought you said you were hanging out with Lily?” Lando sounded suspicious as he looked between Logan and Me observing both of us red eyed. “Why are you both crying? Baby, are you okay?”
“Oh! Yes! Haha, Lily was running late so I grabbed a drink and saw Logan here and then we started talking about Theo” I said wiping the tears from under my eyes again
Oscar’s eyes closed and his face contorted in its own way of saying ‘oh no’
“That’s so funny babe because” Lily walked in “We actually ran into Lily and she mentioned nothing about your guys’ plans. Actually said that she’s been trying to set up a day where you guys could spend the day out and shop and have girls night but said that you kept postponing it. So why are you here with Logan and why’d you lie?”
The tension between us so thick you could hack it with a butcher knife a few times and it wouldn’t cut.
I’ve been caught in lies before but this one, I don’t know how I’m getting out of it.
“I promise I will tell you everything Lando, just not here”
Lando turned and whispered some things to Oscar and Lily whom nodded in agreement before handing them the stroller and the diaper bag and kissing Yelena goodbye.
He’s taken on such a natural fatherly role in her life that to the outside world, Yelena was his daughter and that’s what I admired about him, that’s why I fell in love with him and that’s why I really, really can’t lose him.
“We’re leaving.” was all Lando said before I whispered a goodbye to Logan and followed him out the door and to his McLaren.
The car ride home was awkward and silent. It hadn’t felt this bad in a car alone with him since I told him all those months ago about what happened with me and Logan. After what felt like an eternity we finally arrived at our house. The walk inside and into our bedroom was also awkward and silent.
Oh how I hated when Lando was mad at me.
“Why’d you lie?” it sounded cold, kinda made my heart break “Why were you out with Logan and why did you lie to me?”
“I-” I released a shaky breath “I met with Logan because” I was cut off
“Are you still in love with him?” betrayal and heartbreak coated Lando’s voice
“No! Absolutely not! Lando please don’t think like that!” I quickly walked over to him cupping his face and used my thumb to wipe a stray tear from his face
“I was with Logan because he wanted to talk about that night in the delivery room. He wanted to tell me that he’s been having dreams of us being a big happy family. He asked me what he could do to get me back, to win us back” the look in his eyes told me he believed what I was saying
“and what did you say?”
“I told him that after the way he treated me that I would never get back with him.” I felt him nod against my hands that were still holding his face before I wrapped them around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug feeling his arms wrap around my waist and squeezed tight.
I wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in his tight embrace. I felt like nothing bad could happen, I felt on top of the world and that’s how I wanted to stay, but all good things eventually come to an end.
The churn of my stomach is what pulled me away from Lando and I knew I was gonna be sick. I rushed myself to the bathroom before spilling my guts into the toilet. Lando quickly rushed in to hold my hair back and rub my back.
“I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab you a bottle of water” Lando said before he quickly jogged to the kitchen.
I’ve been sick before, but this felt different. I’ve felt this kind of sickness before. Twice, actually. I rested my head in my arms on the toilet seat before frantically looking around in the sink cupboard. I had to search quickly before Lando came back, I couldn’t find it and I didn’t want to call for Lando. One more quick search of lifting things up is when I finally see them.
pregnancy tests.
-
HEY!! I MISSED YOU!
taglist
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy
#charles leclerc#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smut#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#lewis hamilton#logan sargent fluff#too good to say goodbye#too good to say goodbye series#logan sargeant hurt#logan sargeant angst#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#logan sergeant imagines#logan sargent x reader
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Remember Me
Author's note: I can't believe it's almost over. I'll miss them so much 😭😭 I've been meaning to write but life is lifing and I never have time so I quickly got this out and hope to post something else tomorrow.
Summary: I was made to love you in every universe.
It's like learning to breathe again after being submerged in water for too long, his lungs burn from the strain but his body knows what to do.
Inhale. Exhale. Remember.
Her smile on the rainy day and the way his heart stopped just for a moment to take her in.
The ache in his chest as she cried desperately lashing out in the hospital and the guilt that threatened to suffocate him.
How deeply he loved her and how full he felt when she finally loved him back, she never said the words but he felt her love all the same.
It was all erased without his permission and then suddenly it was pressing down on him until he could barely breathe. Memories. Not fantasies, or dreams or even hallucinations but memories from a life the he doesn't recall living but his heart does, it feels so real to him, so much so that he can't stop the tears from begin to pour from his eyes.
How could he forget her? How could she let him?
"Sun Jae? Are you in pain? Are you okay? I'll get the doctor."
He blindly grabs at his manager's hand stopping him before he can leave him.
"No. I need you to get Im Sol. I need to talk to her, right now."
"What? Why do you need to talk to her? You need to let this crush go! You almost died tonight, I was so worried about you!"
It doesn't make sense, nothing does anymore and he doesn't even know where to begin in explaining to Dong Seok, he just knows that he has to see Sol. He's never wanted anything more in his whole life, or lives.
"Please. Just get her."
He hears a deep sigh and then it's quiet again and now he just has to wait and hope that she'll come.
That she can help make sense of the mess in his head.
Although he tries to fight it, sleep is a worthy opponent and he loses the battle.
But at least in his sleep she finds him again smiling so beautifully that it's hard to believe that he could have ever forgotten her.
He remembers her laugh, the touch of her hand on his, and every kiss plays like a movie of someone else's life and it ignites a burning in his chest that he's only ever felt since meeting Im Sol.
I was made to love you.
He watches himself whisper those words to her and the gentle smile that forms on her face as she leans over to press their lips together.
But before they can touch he feels himself being shaken from his sleep and he almost rumbles, annoyed to be pulled from a memory so sweet but when he opens his eyes it's not Dong Seok that he sees but her.
His fate.
"What happened? Why are you here? Why are you hurt? You're not supposed to be hurt, I did all of this so you wouldn't ever get hurt!"
She wails at him, his chest tightens as he watches her cry again. Always crying for him.
"Sol. I missed you."
And that makes her freeze her eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears as she stares at him. He stares right back, lifting himself up into a seated position. He needs to sit for this conversation.
"What do you- I shouldn't have come here. I should go."
This time he takes her hand and refuses to let go. He's never letting go ever again. Even if it means he dies, death is worth the touch of her hand.
"Stop running away. I know you want me to live a long life but I can't be happy without you in it."
"What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you when I said that I was talking about....uhhhh I meant-"
He lets her fumble trying to find a way to end her sentence but words escape her and he's done being without her.
" It's me. It's always been me and for me, it's always been you."
Her breath hitches and he reaches across to brush away the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks.
"How?"
"I remember everything. I know why you pushed me away and I know why you're scared to be around me."
For a moment it's like she's frozen in time and then everything erupts and she cries like a child, like her heart is broken and she's lost everything precious in this world, like a weight has been lifted and she's gained everything she's ever wanted.
"Come here." He draws her closer hugging her tightly, healing them both.
He rocks her back and forth as she weeps in his arms and he hums soothing words into her ears.
"You did good. I'm sorry I forgot you, I'm sorry I left you all alone."
Those words make her pull back and she shakes her head viciously.
"I wasn't lonely. I was fine. Everything was fine, I did what I had to do and I'd do it again."
And he takes offense. Anger so hot it burns rises up in his chest.
"Do you love me?"
His words are hard, they bite the air and smack her across the face.
It's an accusation. And he sees her anger form right back like clouds before a hurricane.
"Do I love you?! You remember everything and you're still asking me that?"
"Yes! You're still lying to me. You'd be fine without me? Well I wouldn't be fine without you! I need you, more than life."
"If you stay beside me then you'll die!"
"And if I don't then I won't live!
He grabs her face as shouts his final plea, baring his entire heart to her on a platter. He's always been consistent.
"Do you understand? If I don't have you then life isn't worth living, Sol. I was made to love you and only you. In every universe. That's my fate."
"Why? Why can't you love someone else? Why can't I save you? Why is fate so cruel?"
That he has no answer to. He's never had to watch her die but she's endured that pain too many times and he knows that's what held her back.
But it's different this time. He's not going to die.
"Nothing's going to happen. They got him. He's never going to hurt anyone ever again."
"Are you sure? He's.. Really..."
She stutters in disbelief and he nods, "Your friend got him. He saved my life too."
"Thank goodness. Thank goodness."
She collapses onto his bed and he tries to suppress the tinge of jealousy that flares. It's not the right time and she loves him, he's seen it through space and time.
"So, stop pushing me away. Please."
There is only silence and then there's sobs and she's gripping his hand just as tightly.
"I..... didn't want to. It hurt everyday. To watch you and know that I couldn't have you, to know that I'd never hear your voice or feel your arms around me or be there to comfort you. I cried every night. I wasn't fine. It felt like stabbing myself in the heart a million times. I-"
"Shhhh. It's okay now. Just give me all the love you've been hiding. I'll take it all."
"Can I?"
She sounds so young and sixteen year old Sol flashes in his mind.
"You can."
She squeezes his hand before bringing it to her mouth and placing a butter soft kiss on his skin.
Then she leans closer and reaches up to caress his face. She stares at him as if she's drinking him in and she says as much, "This beautiful face. I should have enjoyed it more when I had the chance."
He blushes, not used to being called beautiful but he doesn't contradict her. Who is he to deny a compliment?
"Enjoy it now. You can even take a picture."
Her giggle is music to his ears.
"Your ego got bigger."
"Hmmm that's not all that got bigger." He fires back straight faced and then he smirks as her tell tale blush colors her face a vivid red.
"Where is your mind right now? What are you thinking about Sol? Hmmm?"
"Nothing! Shut up! I wasn't thinking about anything dirt-!"
And he probably shouldn't do what he wants to because those other timelines weren't truly them, or were they? It's all so confusing but ever since he watched himself kiss her it's all he's been able to think about. He wants to kiss her desperately, hungrily.
He's too impatient to wait for her to catch up. He kisses her hard, then soft then hard again and it's everything. A taste that he forgot that suddenly takes him over and it's all he can remember now. He twists his head remembering that she liked that, then swipes his tongue in a move that used to make her moan.
"Sunjae.." she moans into his mouth.
Still makes her moan.
"You know he's still recovering you really shouldn't be sucking his face off quite yet." A voice rings it loudly breaking the tension in the room.
She bolts away from him but he doesn't loosen his hold on her. Instead he turns his head to glare at the intruder.
"Get out."
"No. You'll have a scandal if I leave, who knows how far you two will go..." Baek Inhyuk replies with a salacious wiggle of his brows.
It's probably for the best.
There's so much he wants to do with her, and he doesn't want an audience.
He just wants Im Sol.
Now, and forever.
#lovely runner#Soljae#look it's not smut#just cuties getting together and being hungry for each other#i wish we could get 20+ episodes of them#Im Sol protector
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🪻 Fives
Wildflower 🪻
My third and final submission to the Clones Flower Fic Event! I had some fun with Fives and I hope you all like this one 🥰🥰 This was such a fun event to be a part of!!
Fic masterlist here!
Fives always loved it when he was able to get some down time from the war. Namely, because he didn’t seem to get it often enough because there was just so much fighting going on throughout the galaxy, so whenever any kind of down time was offered to him, he accepted it gladly. He enjoyed it a lot more when he got to go with his brothers from the 501st. As an ARC Trooper, he wasn’t always assigned on missions with them, but he jumped at every chance he’d get to get to serve more with them.
This particular shore leave after a recent mission, he and his brothers chose to go to the nearby planet of Batuu, a primarily terrestrial planet comprised of a lot of forests and mountains. After landing on the planet, they all hit up a cantina close to the spaceport for some drinks. Tup had never gone out drinking before, so naturally, a lot of the guys were teasing him about being a first-time drinker. Fives just kinda hung back and let Jesse and Hardcase give Tup a hard time while also listening to Dogma chide them about making sure to not drink too much since it would be “against regulations”.
After a little bit, Fives decided he wanted to go outside for some fresh air, leaving his brothers to their own devices as they started getting a little more tipsy with their drinks. He enjoyed a good drink, but he didn’t want to get fully drunk. Somebody needed to help keep the rest of his brothers in line that wasn’t Dogma. They’d be fine on their own, for now.
He wandered into the nearby forest, breathing in the crisp, cool air of the trees. For as many times as he’d fought battles out in the wild before, he’d never really taken the time to stop and enjoy the outdoors very much. His life was constantly on the move. There didn’t seem to be time to really appreciate anything.
He continued on through the forest until he spotted a clearing close by and he could see little flashes of purple up ahead in the clearing. It looked like it was possibly a field of flowers blowing in the light breeze. Though, then he saw a flash of white in the trees that made him curious. He moved closer to the clearing and once it all came into view, he froze up.
Standing in the clearing was you.
Dressed in a long, flowy white dress, you knelt in the middle of a field of purple wildflowers, taking in their sweet aroma and feeling the softness of their petals underneath your fingertips. Though, you heard approaching footsteps and found yourself locking eyes with the handsome Clone soldier. You had spotted him going into the cantina earlier as you were heading into the forest. He was standing in place, staring at you, and slowly stood up, letting your hair fall down your back and shoulders.
Fives was dumbstruck at your ethereal beauty. In the sunlight that peeked through the treetops into the clearing, you looked almost angelic. Surely, someone this beautiful couldn’t be a real human or alien. No…you had to be something more supernatural or mythical.
“Surely, I’m dreaming,” he commented out loud.
You tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows at him, puzzled.
“You’ve got to be a forest nymph,” he said.
Now, your eyebrows shot up. Was he being serious?
“I’ve heard that they’re described as being beautiful beyond measure and you…you’re the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen. That has to be the only explanation,” he went on.
You wanted to be flattered and laugh all at once. He was saying you were beautiful, which was so sweet, but he seemed to genuinely believe that you were a forest nymph, which was laughable to you. You didn’t consider yourself that beautiful. This man was already very charming and he’d only said a few words to you. That made you decide to play along with him, just to see what would happen.
“You have a very keen eye, sir,” you said, adding a bit of a lilt to your voice as you played with your skirt a bit. “What can I do for you?”
His eyes went wide, startled. “No, no, no, I wouldn’t want you to do anything!” he exclaimed, waving his hands around. “I wouldn’t dare ask such a lovely creature to do anything for me. I should be asking you that, my lady.”
“My lady?” Wow, this man was really playing it up! As endearing as you found him, you couldn’t help but really want to lean into the act even more.
Then he gave a bow and asked, “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“What’s your name?” you inquired.
“My name is Fives,” he answered.
You responded, “Well then, Fives…I am looking for the most perfect flower in this clearing. Find me one you think would satisfy me.”
“Not a problem, my lady,” he complied.
He started stepping around carefully through the flowers, looking carefully for one you requested. You were trying so hard not to laugh at just how precise he was being, even though you were only doing it as a joke. You were curious to see if he would actually find a flower he thought would be perfect and you waited in silence.
A few seconds later, he spotted one he thought would work and reached down to pull it up from the ground. However, he was unaware of how tough the roots to the flower were and, when he gave it a tug, he ended up pulling the flower out with all of its roots still attached and clods of dirt and soil mixed in, as well. It wasn’t the most attractive thing and you could tell he was a bit embarrassed at that. Finally, you couldn’t hold back and you burst with boisterous laughter, clutching at your stomach and nearly doubling over.
Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Fives stated, “Well…I thought I had found the perfect flower.”
Through your laughs, you spouted out, “Oh Fives…you’re far too sweet!” As you started to calm down with heavy breathing, you went on, “I appreciate you doing that, but you don’t need to worry. I’m not actually a forest nymph.”
“You’re not?” he asked.
You laughed again. “No, I’m just a regular person. I thought what you said about me was just too charming to pass up and wanted to play along. I’m sorry. You can go ahead and put the flower down.”
The sound of your laugh was like music to his ears; a sound he felt he would never forget. He grinned in amusement and lowered the flower back down to the ground. Your laughter subsided, but you kept a sweet smile on your face as you gave Fives your name. It was a lovely name and he repeated it to savor the feel of it coming off his tongue.
“What are you doing here on Batuu?” you asked him.
Pointing over his shoulder with his thumb, he replied, “My brothers and I are taking a little shore leave here for a few days. They’re back at the cantina. I should probably get back to them.”
“How come you’re out here instead of with them?”
“I just wanted some fresh air, was all. I’m glad I came out here, though, because I might not have met you.”
Timidly, you turned your eyes away. “You don’t even know me.”
“No, I don’t…but I’d like to get to know you a little better, if that’s all right,” he said back. When you turned back to look at him, he added, “Like I said, I’ll be here for a few days. I’d like to see you again while I’m here, if you’ll allow me.”
Honestly, where was the harm in letting Fives see you again? He was undoubtedly handsome and he seemed genuinely kind and sweet. You hadn’t had a man give you as much polite attention like this in a long time and you couldn’t help but want to see him again. You then crouched down, picked up the flower he’d pulled up from the ground, separated the flower from its roots and then stood back up. With another smile, you held it out to him.
“Something to remember me by until I see you again, soldier,” you said to answer his question.
Gingerly, he took the flower from you, eager happiness bright in his eyes.
Then you did something bold and gave him a farewell kiss on the cheek. “Goodbye, Fives,” you said with a small wave. Then you turned on your heel and ran off into the trees, the skirt of your white dress flowing behind you.
Fives, still awestruck at everything that had transpired, looked down at the purple wildflower in his hands, turning it between his fingers and smiling. He didn’t imagine that just stepping outside for air would lead to something truly amazing and unexpected. Now, he had something even greater to look forward to during his stay on Batuu.
He sure was going to have one heck of a story to tell his brothers when he got back.
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The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup
(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))
Ponyboy
Reading or writing.
How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart
He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in
if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window
he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.
I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.
He‘d write the most heart breaking
tear dripping
heavy breathing sad poetry ever.
show him a romance novel.
he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.
just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.
so he reads.
Johnny
if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.
he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.
in all honesty
i think he‘d be artistic with it
he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you
whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.
he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.
he would be an artist.
hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.
might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.
ps you obviously do.
Dallas
Doesn’t know how.
All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.
being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,
but every path leads back to what he knows best.
he would smoke more,
party more,
drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.
people may see him as this
uhh
violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man
but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug
a kid that needed to be loved.
a kid that was never taught how to be loved.
Adelaide
crier.
she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.
she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.
she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.
the curtis boys would
PERSONALLY
kill you if anything happened to her
one heartbreak and shes done for
love? whats that? it isnt real?
dont hurt her no matter what.
she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).
adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.
Sodapop
working.
soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot
but the only thing that really helped was work.
he’d probably get a raise
yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.
his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself
and guess what.
he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.
i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it
he would only ever listen to the radio
hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice
Darrell
probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs
he wld obviously be heart broken
but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.
he would probably meditate.
i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd
or meditate.
as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and
well.
relax.
he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together
the others are jealous as fuuuuck
Steve
bro wouldnt eat.
every time he thought about the breakup
he thought it was because he was strong enough
or that he was too chubby for his girl.
one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad
they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth
eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”
but then in all seriousness
he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house
even if he says he ate.
theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out
Two-Bit
drinking.
do i have to explain.
in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…
but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.
(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)
along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic
he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.
his buddies would think its just your average keith
but in all reality he’s really struggling
even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy
HE IS HURTTT.
okay thanks for watching todays vlog
if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.
#the outsiders 1983#darry curtis#johnny cade#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#dallas winston#steve randle#two bit mathews#the outsiders headcanons#greasers#adara curtis#the outsiders incorrect quotes#the outsiders x reader
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Hellers are twisting Jensen's words around because they don't like what he said,
"He doesn't think Cas's confession is something that needs to be solved. Cas said what he needed to say. It was a long time coming, it was heartfelt and beautiful. But there's nothing to solve. Dean took it in and then lost one of his closest allie and friend. The acceptance of that happened when Dean sat on the floor. He lost one of his brothers in arms and one of his closest people. When they come back, it just understood."
First, a sampling of posts with screenshots and links of some of the creative reinterpretations they're already self-soothing with, for context: [X][X][X]
It's bad enough now, because we already knew they were obsessed with cherry-picking things completely out of context and twisting themselves in knots to insist D/C, a totally real most epic romance ever was obviously happening off-screen the whole time. Because that's totally how storytelling works!🙄 So why wouldn't they insist Jensen saying Castiel's dying blather doesn't need a resolution means Dean already turned into the YA romance protagonist from their fanfic realized he was totes in lurve with the angel and reciprocated offscreen! See, no resolution needed! The thing is, though, I believe Purcon is one that has a stricter video policy so I expect this to end up even more broken-telephoned in a couple of months when there's no video to dispute whatever they're making up by that point, which I expect to be pretty wild.
What Jensen reportedly said fits exactly into what Castiel actually said in Misha & Beren's tapdancing on the line of legit queerbaiting the audience Castiel's goodbye speech. The whole climactic reason the Empty could come take the angel away was because he realized that just ~*feeling feelings*~, without having anything come of it, was enough. Regardless of whether you interpret those feelings as romantic love or the kind of all-encompassing self-sacrificing love the Winchesters have, feeling that way about somebody is happiness in itself (even if they don't feel that way about you). So yeah, whatever kind of love you read that to mean? There's nothing to inherently resolve there. Castiel put his feelings out in the universe, and Dean listened and moved on with his life. The thing that was "a long time coming" was Castiel's resolving his struggles as an angel living among humans trying to understand emotions and friendship. It's "clear text" that Castiel said I love you (whatever kind of love you interpret that to be).
Hellers are the only ones who desperately need there to have to be a resolution to that scene, because the only interpretation in which a followup would be necessary? Would be if Castiel's speech was romantic AND Dean also had romantic feelings. They can pretend they suddenly don't understand what a resolution is or that one magically (like the entire rest of their supposedly canon ship) happened off-screen so it'll be already happening in the revival as much as they want. It doesn't change what the scene actually was or what Jensen actually said, any more than the rest of their waffle ever has. They're just happily lying to themselves and each other all over again, setting themselves back up for more eternal disappointment. It's like a Peanuts comic strip, except they are both Charlie and Lucy with the show and creators as the football.
They want to crow about Jensen not explicitly saying the scene wasn't about romantic love somehow being him changing his mind (again), but that's absurd. He knows some people interpret Castiel's feelings as romantic and are very invested in the angel being a queer character. Putting aside whether what's in the text deserves that, going out of his way to tell them they're wrong about someone else's character? Would be a really bad look given the sensitivity of the topic. And he doesn't need to do it anyway, because whatever Castiel's ~*feelings*~ are, it says nothing about what Dean does or doesn't feel. Which he directly says is that Dean lost "one of his closest allies" "one of his best friends" "a brother in arms" "one of the closest people to him". It's pretty clear - if you don't tie yourself in knots pretending he's sending you secret signals about what he REALLY means if you only listen to half the words he said.
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New dedfour chapter incoming!!! This one's a little more mundane, but it's important to the storyline!
First (prologue)
Previous
Next (TBA)
Read it on ao3!
(Fanfic under cut)
“I found my way into the Deepsea Metro because I was trying to find a club to DJ in. I guess my music eventually caught the attention of…” Acht’s voice trailed off and they waved their hand in the air, trying to indicate who they meant rather than say the actual name of the telephone that had controlled them, as if they might resurrect it from the dead. “It offered for me to be able to focus on nothing but my music. I was kind of doing that already, so I said yes. I can’t really remember much after that, but then I showed up here and I was myself again.” Four listened attentively. They’d been talking about what the two of them had been through for some time now. Neither were ready to leave 21F. Pearl, Marina, and Eight seemed content to stay as well.
“How do I know that I chose the right world? Like, there’s one side of me that’s screaming for order and one that’s screaming for chaos and I can’t tell which one is real.”
“There is no one that’s the right one, just different parts of your life. Being sanitized, or I guess greyscaled in your case, is just going to be a part of you now. It’s hard to accept that something bad and scary happened and that you’re never going to be the same afterwards, but if you can’t come to terms with that then you’re just stuck in this in between space. What you have to decide is which version of you is the one you want to be. It doesn’t matter which one is right or wrong, just that you’re happy.”
“Are you happy?”
“Oh that’s a big question. I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out together.” Acht stood up and offered Four their hand. They took it and Acht pulled them up. “Let’s get back to the elevator. We’ll keep climbing and you’ll be able to get more of your memories back.”
“Yeah!” Four smiled. They bared their teeth when they did, and their entire face seemed to light up. Acht felt their hearts thumping in their chest. That was new, most of the time their organs didn’t work at all. They didn’t even need to breathe, yet right now they felt short of breath. They could only hope Four didn’t notice their palms sweating. What was happening to them? Sanitization was a total loss of emotion, but now Acht felt the exact opposite— a rush of every feeling in the world all at once.
The two entered the elevator and Acht pressed the button for the next floor. Four and Pearl left moments later to begin the challenge.
“Marina? Can I ask a question?” Acht typically wouldn’t go out on a whim like this, but they needed answers.
“Sure thing, Acht. What do you need?” Marina seemed excited. She knew whatever Acht needed to ask would be really interesting.
“How do you know you’re in love with Pearl?”
“Oh where do I begin! Being around Pearlie makes me feel better than I do when I’m with anyone else. It’s like I can really open up around her. Just thinking about her makes me blush. She always knows exactly how to make me happy and she cares about me so much. And when she sings it feels like my heart is singing in harmony with hers! And her eyes are some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. And when she sets off her Killer Wail…” Acht had slowly stopped listening. They should have known Marina would end up talking about Pearl endlessly.
As if summoned by Marina’s gushing, Pearl and Four came back into the elevator.
“Whatcha talkin’ about?” Pearl did a little flip as she entered the lift. Four followed close behind.
“You and how wonderful you are.” Marina smiled at the drone.
“Aww well if you’re gonna talk about me then I guess I have to talk about how wonderful you are.”
“Here we go again,” Acht thought as they pressed the button for 23F. Again, the elevator dinged and Pearl and Four left to complete the floor.
“Soooooo Acht! Why did you want to know how I know I love Pearl?” Marina asked.
“No reason. Just curious.” Acht tired to dodge the question.
“No I think there’s a very good reason. Acht do you think you might be… ooh I’m too excited to say it. Eight, help me out here!” Marina squealed.
“Are you in love with Agent 4?” Eight grinned. He was a sucker for a good romance.
“Hey look I think Pearl and Four are almost done.” Acht looked out the elevator doors at the two. They were no where near done, but Acht needed something to distract Marina and Eight.
“Don’t think you’re getting out of this conversation so easily. We can pause for now, but this isn’t over,” Marina said before turning her attention to Pearl just as she set off a Killer Wail.
“That sounds like a threat.”
“Maybe it is.” Eight flashed a mischievous smirk. It seemed like he was getting more comfortable around Acht. They weren’t sure if that was good or bad.
“Does it even matter if I like them or not?”
“Of course it matters! Acht, you have to tell them how you feel.” Marina emphasized each word.
“I haven’t felt anything in a long time, Marina. How do I know if the way that I’m defining this is even right?” Acht was very ready to be done with this conversation. But at the same time, the thought of telling Four they love them made Acht’s hearts thump even harder than they already were.
“You remember your brother, right? And your dad?” Marina pressed.
Acht was silent.
“It’s not the same kind of love, but you still love them. You know what love feels like, Acht. And I know that you don’t fall in love easily, you have to have the right person. I think Agent 4 is your right person.”
As Marina finished her sentence, Pearl and Four came back into the elevator.
“Welcome back you two.” Acht rushed their words.
“Four absolutely rocked that floor, they took down those Jelletons like it was nothing!” Pearl was enthusiastic. Now that Four had most of their personality back, they were way more fun to fight alongside. “Let’s head to the next floor and get them back out there, they’re on a roll!”
“Great, let’s get you to 24F.” Acht clicked the button and the elevator continued onward.
As Four set their chip into their palette, they jumped slightly in surprise. “Holy fuck!” they shouted before turning to face Eight and wrapping their arms around him. “I’m sorry I forgot about you. And I’m sorry I tried to kill you.”
Eight hugged Four back, saying, “It’s okay. I missed you.” Acht couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at how affectionate Four was towards him.
The two let go of each other and Four turned to Pearl and Marina. “I remember the both of you now too. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Agent 4. What happened wasn’t your fault at all. If anything I should be the one apologizing.” Marina twisted the bottom hem of her jacket.
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t try to murder all of you.”
“And that doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault.”
“I don’t blame you at all.” Four gave a small, sad smile before looking over at Acht. “I still don’t—”
“You wouldn’t.” Acht interrupted. “We’ve never met before. I’m Acht. I know we’ve already done introductions, but you’re more you now.”
“Nice to meet you, Acht, I’m Four. And thank you for all your help earlier.”
Acht didn’t know what to say for a moment. Then they muttered, “You’re welcome.”
#dedfour#acht x agent 4#watch the sky with you#splatoon fanfiction#agent 4#agent 4 side order#agent 4 splatoon#acht splatoon#dedf1sh#ahato mizuta#side order
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I wanted to ask you this since you seem like an Undead Unluck expert. Me and a friend of mine watched the last episode of the Undead Unluck anime together yesterday and they asked me: "Why didn't Andy use Life is Strange on Rip instead of Anno Un?"
I just assumed that since this version of Life Is Strange was drawn by the G-Liner, it could only be used by the person wielding the G-Liner, but I'm not entirely sure if that's the case or not. Also, I've read the manga, but don't remember if it was ever brought up who could or couldn't use what the G-Liner had drawn.
I actually made a post about this exact question when that happened in the manga! I originally criticized Anno's plan for that exact reason, but there're a couple of reasons I can think of
First, they were kind of in the middle of a fight for their lives. Taking the time to ask Andy to use an Artifact could have left an opening for Autumn to attack, so it was probably just quicker to do it himself
Second, the Anno body was in pretty rough shape, and only a representation of Akira in the first place, so he wasn't exactly an asset to have in the fight anyway. He likely viewed this act as the only thing that would really give him value at this point, so there's no sense in endangering everyone else to protect someone who can't contribute anymore
Third, it's hard to say what Life is Strange would actually do to Andy. I think it's safe to say "nothing," but Anno might have been worried it would age his body since he wouldn't be living through the aging process. It probably wouldn't have, but why take the risk?
Fourth, Anno may not have predicted that G-Liner would break. I certainly wouldn't have guessed it would, so sacrificing Anno to just make him again later would have been a reasonable strategy, it was just unfortunate that it didn't work out
Finally, and this is the real life reason it had happen this way, it was SUCH A GOOD SCENE! It was the culmination of Akira's entire story, and Andy's goodbye to Anno was the perfect summation of the arc's theme of living on through memory.
"Even if no one could actually see him, so long as there were people who remembered him he would be right there. That was the belief that Andy chose to hold."
Even if there's a logistical way that things could have been "better," would you really trade the narrative weight of what we got just because something else "makes more sense?" I know I wouldn't
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Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 13
This and previous chapters are also on AO3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fortifying effects of Nia’s pep talk lasted throughout the car ride, and it wasn’t until Lena was actually standing outside Kara’s front door, doughnut box in hand, that reality abruptly reasserted itself.
What was she doing?
It was all very well deciding she could remain detached for this conversation from the neutral territory of her own office, but now she was actually here, mere feet away from the woman who had broken her heart and about to raise a subject that would come closer to picking at that wound than anything had since it had happened, it felt foolhardy in the extreme. What if talking about it, even indirectly, really did trigger something that she would prefer to stay dormant? It was a very real possibility, and Lena didn’t want to be pushed into jumping one way or the other on offering a genuine second chance right now, because she was afraid that if she was she would choose to walk away again, and she wasn’t ready for that.
Not yet.
Not until their work was done and Supergirl was once more flying about National City and making her righteous, hypocritical speeches, hands on hips like she had been practising her power poses in the mirror (She probably had. Kara was such an adorable dork).
No, she wasn’t ready to let the complication back in.
She would slip away quickly, and when she got back to the car she would call Alex to come and talk to her sister after all. No one ever needed to know she had even-
The front door opened, and before Lena could so much as twitch Kara Danvers was standing in front of her, feet bare, hair secured into a messy bun with a paintbrush, small smudge of blue on one cheek, and a surprised smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. How was it fair that she looked so effortlessly cute just when Lena needed to keep a level head?
‘Lena! I heard something out in the hall and thought Mrs Warren’s cat must have got out again, but this is so much better than getting in some sneaky Mr Tibbles belly rubs. Come in, come in! And are those doughnuts??’
Oh well, looked like she was doing this.
Lena let herself be ushered inside, then presented the patisserie box to Kara with the dramatic flourish of a second rate stage magician (not that she was over playing how totally normal and at ease she felt or anything).
‘These, Ms Danvers, are no mere doughnuts. They are in fact in contention for the most elaborate, highly decorated and candy covered doughnuts you will find this side of New York. One of them is the cookie monster. With actual cookies.’
(Well, maybe she was over playing it just a little bit).
‘Ohhhh, you are my favourite. How did you know I needed a cookie monster doughnut in my life today?’
Kara took the box from Lena’s hands and immediately began exploring its contents, pausing to exclaim over the unicorn with the marshmallow horn and a rather fretful looking chocolate porcupine before settling after all on the giant cookie monster, complete with mouth full of cookies as promised.
Lena didn’t answer her right away, at first because she was trying to find the right words to broach the subject, and then because her attention had caught on the easel set up by the window. Kara rarely allowed anyone to see her works-in-progress, and even though it was so clearly unplanned, this unexpected glimpse into what was usually such a closely guarded process felt like an honour.
At a glance the painting seemed to be an unbroken, featureless blue, but as she looked Lena realised there was a subtle variation in the colours – a slightly darker shade on one side that lightened at the centre, with the most delicate hints of apricot and rose feathering in towards the far edge. There was texture there too – faint wisps of white that suggested clouds, and a faded crescent, like the moon after dawn had broken but before it dipped below the horizon. It was beautiful, but it was... different.
Kara tended to paint landscapes – fantasy landscapes, so Lena had always assumed. She had tried asking about them once or twice, but had been met with hedging and awkward subject changes. She had thought that her friend was simply private about her art, or even mildly embarrassed about her fascination with painting made up scenes rather than real ones, and had tried to drop in casual mentions of sci fi books she had read to let her know that her secret brand of nerdiness was fine by her, but Kara still never fully relaxed until the conversation had well and truly moved on.
Reframed with the knowledge she now had, she realised that Kara didn’t paint fantasy landscapes at all. She painted Krypton. Over and over again, she recreated her vanished home, preserving her memories of somewhere she would never see again the only way she could. Only now she had lost even that small connection to her heritage, she was left with nothing but a vague sense that something “up there” was important to her, and it made Lena’s heart ache for her. It felt too familiar, that quiet yearning for something you couldn’t quite place.
She had been so young when her mother died, she almost didn’t remember her first home at all. There was just the odd fragment of disjointed moments, mingled with snatches of sense-memory. The smell of woodsmoke and wet earth intertwined with a sweet, buttery flavour she had never found an exact match for since; a hummed lullaby in a voice that was both bone-deep familiar and too distant to recall how it sounded making words; the warm surety of arms that reached out to catch her as she stumbled and swooped her up into the air, turning her fall into flight before she could hit the ground…
She wanted to ask Kara about the sky painting, to understand exactly what it meant to her (she wanted to understand all of them now she realised they weren’t made up, but of course Kara could no longer tell her about any but this one), but she held back. It wasn’t what she was here for, and now she had resolved to have this conversation, she needed to get on with it right away or she would talk herself out of doing it at all.
She returned her attention to Kara, who had finished her first rapturous bite of doughnut and was now sucking icing from her thumb and looking back at Lena with a quizzical expression.
‘Well actually… Nia sent me. She said you seemed a bit upset after your talk today, and thought maybe you could use a friend.’
‘Oh no, she picked up on that? I thought I was managing to be so cool about it!’
‘She said you didn’t finish your doughnut.’
Kara huffed as indignantly as she could through a chocolate chip cookie.
‘That doesn’t mean anything, I leave things sometimes! I might just not have been in a doughnut sort of mood.’
She didn’t say anything, but Lena’s raised eyebrow in the direction of the semi-demolished cookie monster got the point across. Kara Danvers had never once not been in a doughnut sort of mood, except possibly when she was actively dying. And even then, chances were 50/50 that she just fancied potstickers instead.
‘Well... she didn’t know that. Did she tell you what it was we were talking about?’
‘Yes.’
‘So you already knew that-?’
‘That Nia is Dreamer? Yes, I’ve known for a little while now.’
‘Oh.’
Kara moved over to the couch and slumped down onto it, like the weight of her own feelings was suddenly too heavy for her. It was a pose of abject misery, but she didn’t put down the doughnut, which Lena figured was a good sign.
‘I didn’t realise you guys even knew each other that well. How come she told you and not me? Did I do something to make her think I would react badly?’
‘We don’t, really – through you more than anything else. But it wasn’t like that Kara, I just put the pieces together after seeing both Dreamer and Nia at the DEO while I was working on this project with Alex.’
‘That figures. You’re an actual genius, of course you would have realised right away.’
Lena winced internally. Some genius. She had been best friends with Kara for years, as well as having frequent up-close-and-personal encounters with Supergirl, including but not limited to being carried in her arms with their faces mere inches apart, and yet still somehow hadn’t cottoned onto the fact that they were one and the same person.
What a waste she had made of being carried by Supergirl before their rift. If only she’d known it was Kara she was cuddled up with, she’d have-
But no, she wouldn’t have. Kara never seemed to notice all the times she had flirted outrageously with her throughout their friendship, and Lena would never have jeopardized what they had had for the fleeting excitement of a mid-air make out with a best friend who was in all likelihood entirely heterosexual.
In any case there was no point in dwelling on what was past and would never come round again. This wasn’t about her and Kara. It was about Kara and Nia.
Lena put the doughnut box down on the table in front of Kara and went to sit beside her, not quite touching, but closer than they usually sat these days.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘No… Maybe? I told Nia how happy I was for her. And I am, I really truly am, and I’m glad she told me. I guess I just feel a little weird about it. I get that it’s this huge personal thing, but I can’t help wondering why she didn’t feel like she could trust me when all the rest of our friends knew. I know they’re mostly DEO so it’s a bit different, but… I don’t know. I guess it just makes me feel like the outsider. Like I’m not this cool, powerful secret agent so it doesn’t even matter what I know. I thought Nia and I were closer than that.’
Lena should have felt vindicated, smug even. Happy that Kara was now feeling some measure of the pain she’d caused Lena, even if on a much smaller scale. But she didn’t. She just felt sad.
For Kara.
For Nia.
For herself.
For the whole tangled web of truth and lies that they were all now so inextricably ensnared in that Lena could no longer see which thread was supposed to hers. She could just see Kara, and the pain and confusion in her eyes as she struggled with feelings she didn't have the full context to understand.
She found herself stepping almost without realising it into Supergirl’s shoes – giving all the same arguments that she herself had dismissed when Kara had tried to explain why she had kept her own secret for so long. That it wasn’t about trust, it was about safety. That knowing something like this could put both of them in danger, and by hiding it Nia had been trying to prevent people using Kara as a game piece against Dreamer. That Nia had probably been afraid that she had waited too long, and now Kara would hate her for not telling her sooner, and she couldn’t bear to lose her.
The irony of what she was saying and who she was saying it to was not lost on Lena, but somehow, although they were old and tired to her now, telling these things to Kara made her feel the truth of them in a way she never had before.
After all, was she not doing something similar, even now? She had no choice but to keep Kara in the dark about her Kryptonian identity, but that wasn’t the only secret she was keeping. Kara still didn’t know that she had deliberately sabotaged her happiness at Catco, and Lena knew as surely as Supergirl must have that if she revealed this truth it would end the way things were between them. And she didn’t want to lose Kara yet. So she didn’t tell.
She didn’t tell, and it ached and festered inside her like rotten tooth she refused to spit it out, but she would rather keep it close than accept the gap that would be left by letting go. Instead she focused on the present, and on Nia and how much she clearly cared about their friendship, and Kara listened to her in a way that Lena hadn’t been ready to do when she had been the one in her position. Eventually Kara sighed, and allowed herself another bite of doughnut before conceding.
‘I know you’re right and I’m not being fair. I just can’t help feeling so out of the loop. I don’t even really know why – whether it’s because of things changing at Catco or because Alex and Nia and everyone seem to be so busy at the moment, but it’s like something has shifted for me recently. I feel so frustrated and so limited in what I can do. I think if I’m honest… maybe I’m a bit jealous of Nia. I mean yesterday she was like me – just an ordinary woman doing her best to make a difference through her writing in spite of Andrea’s new ‘sparkly media’ vision, and today? Today she’s this awesome kickass superhero who’s out there every night fighting crime and saving the city while I’m making boil in the bag rice and watching NSYNC videos on Youtube for the millionth time. Does that make me a terrible person?’
‘Of course it doesn’t. It just makes you human.’
And you were never meant to be just human.
But she couldn’t explain, so she offered comfort in the only way she could think of. She reached out across the unacknowledged barrier of physical space that they had so carefully maintained over the last several weeks, and pulled Kara in very gently against her side. After a moment of stiff surprise Kara relaxed into the embrace, allowing her head to find a resting place in the crook of Lena’s shoulder.
Lena waited for the pain and anger to rise up in her at the breach of this protective buffer, for her to have to fight the urge to push Kara away again and leave the apartment. But it never came. Her arm settled comfortably around Kara’s shoulders, and it was as though a piece of her that had been missing for months slotted back into place. With a pang, Lena realised that no one had really touched her since before Lex had revealed Supergirl’s identity. Not properly. Not like this. It simultaneously soothed and inflamed her need for physical contact, and it was all she could do not to pull Kara closer still.
She closed her eyes and let her cheek rest against the top of Kara’s head. She just needed a minute. Just a minute for this to be enough, and then she would turn her focus back to where it was meant to be. Project Atlantis. Restoring Supergirl and ending this brief, beautiful bubble of time when she could be Kara’s best friend again without all the history and hurt.
Just one more minute...
‘Thank you Lena, I’m so glad I have you to talk to about this stuff. And I guess now I can understand better where you were coming from about our thing.’
Lena tensed immediately.
Had Kara just remembered the real reason for their fight? Could this indirect trigger really have been enough to bring her own memories along with it, and without any sign of a neurological episode? Was all of this just… over?
She could barely get the words out, but she had to make sure.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Sorry, of course I know it wasn’t the same as finding out someone is secretly a superhero, but I guess it just gives me some perspective, being the one on the other side of a secret. It is not the greatest feeling in the world, and I know it must have been worse for you because I was supposed to be your best friend, and I still lied to you for such a long time.’
The simultaneous rush of relief and crashing disappointment was dizzying. Kara didn’t remember. Whatever she was talking about, it wasn’t her Supergirl secret.
Then what was it?
The part of Lena that desperately wanted to find out Kara’s version of their fight warred with the part of her that just as desperately wanted to leave it alone so they could go on as they were. She should try and find out, of course. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be worse than the truth, and it wasn’t real in any case… but even if she wanted to, that was easier said than done. They had had a huge fight about it and almost parted ways for good, it was hardly as though she could claim the details of what it had been about had just slipped her mind for a moment. Especially when Kara had tried to talk about it before, and Lena had been the one to shut the conversation down. Besides, hadn’t she been right to do so? Things between them had been great since then, and who knew what would have happened if they had opened the can of worms that was their history? They might not have stayed close enough for Kara to keep co operating with her treatment. And alright so maybe she didn’t need to be cajoled into the Q-Wave sessions anymore, but if anything that was all the more reason to keep Kara on side, just in case she needed to ask her to do something else later on.
The arguments for each side went round and round in Lena’s head, neither one gaining enough ground to decide on a course of action, until at last Kara pulled away and looked at her with a worried frown, apparently sensing the change in her mood.
‘Are you alright? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up after what you said last time. Please don’t be mad at me again.’
She couldn’t ask. Not now.
‘I won’t. I’m not. I’m just – I’m glad we found our way through that. I really thought our friendship was over, and I was just thinking how glad I am that I was wrong.’
Kara relaxed, though she didn’t resume the cut short cuddle.
‘Me too.’
Trying not to mind the loss of Kara’s warm weight against her side, Lena stretched as casually as she could, and leaned forwards to choose a doughnut of her own.
‘Shall we watch a movie? Your pick.’
‘Oh yes, a movie night would be the best! Maybe we could invite Nia as well? I feel so bad about how I reacted earlier and I want to make it up to her and let her know that I really really do support her as Dreamer.’
‘I think that’s a great idea. Why don’t you give her a call, and I’ll make a quick supply run. Wine, chocolate, and popcorn?’
‘Sounds perfect.’
#supercorp#kara danvers#lena luthor#supercorp fanfic#fyi AO3 commenters have the godlike power to heal the world water the crops save the bees and be my fandom hero#well one out of four#you have to roll the dice on which one you get and sure the dice is loaded but there are no bad outcomes here#kara x lena#supergirl#supergirl fanfiction#multi chapter fic#Forgotten Not Forgiven#my fic
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time travel fix it au's are done to death in this fandom but also they're my favourite thing in the world so au where the entire show happens as is and it's heartbreaking and inspiring etc but then. restart button. waking back up at the start of the end except only the people that lived remember
wanna think about what would happen when daryl and carol wake up at camp, remembering everything that happened; carol stronger, knowing in her gut that everything that she remembers is real, and daryl fucking terrified, because if everything in his head actually happened, then what the fuck is this
wanna think about a rick dragging a hostile merle and a wide-eyed glenn back to camp, memories completely intact, and running to reunite with his family. not letting daryl go and hugging carol so so so tight, collapsing to the ground with carl in his arms
wanna think about them dragging the atlanta group to the farm, maggie leaving the front porch light on for them, and everyone reuniting. rick seeing hershel again, daryl seeing beth, carol pulling sophia close, and maggie being unable to even breath, looking at glenn
wanna think about them tossing up whether to even go to the prison, but they met important people there, and alexandria's a long way, and if they're gonna survive this time–if they're gonna live–they're gonna do it right
so they go to the prison so they can figure out their next step, and michonne's there and waiting, andre on her hip, and they deal with the governor before the governor deals with them, and sasha and tyresse finally show up, they find the prisoners, and then one day they get a knock on the front gate, and it's negan
negan showing up, no baseball bat in hand but his leather jacket still in place, a sick but alive lucille by his side, laura and doctor franklin behind him, and all he's got to say is at the end of the world, i know which side i wanna be on
the fallout of that, of maggie being against it, of rick never having gotten to see negan at the end, not knowing the choices he made, the good and the bad. daryl and carol looking at glenn, seeing him alive and in love and having no memory of his last moments, and never wanting anything to ruin that, but negan saved judiths life, helped save all their lives. he chose, in the end, and now it's their turn
wanna think about a future where beth doesn't die, but they go on a rescue mission to get noah anyway. a future where tara turns up with her niece, led by eugene with abraham and rosita following right behind him
wanna think about how they'd handle terminus, how they'd handle the claimers. wanna think about them trying to find father gabriel, except gabe made it the first time around, and he wasn't wasting his second chance. he saved his flock, and he led them to alexandria, and he's waiting
wanna think of connie's group searching for hilltop. not finding maggie, or alden, but finding jesus. wanna think about lydia, being a fucking child, and watching her mother kill her dad, and remembering aaron telling her how loved she was
wanna think of the growing pains of them being able to save so many more family members this time, but god, a larger group is harder to keep alive
daryl trying to run interference with merle and everyone else, getting the jack of it one day and telling him he's already mourned him once, and he won't again. if merle wants to stay–to live–then it's up to him. daryl's not gonna babysit him anymore
rick trying to find his footing between lori and shane and judith, with carl, with michonne and andre. michonne looking at a weak but alive lori grimes holding a screaming and crying newborn in her arms, and knowing that she's never gonna be her daughter the way she was before, but knowing she'll always be something to her
carol struggling to be the mother sophia needs her to be, emotions too sharp and constantly fucking terrified. doesn't know how to hold onto someone like that anymore, either gripping too tight or not at all
maggie trying to exist in a world where she has everyone she's ever loved back, so close and so fucking dear, except it cost her her son. not knowing if she'll ever get him back at all. doesn't know how to live with the grief of losing someone she never technically had in this world
they make it to alexandria and it's aaron opening the gate for them, waiting to welcome them home
#posts u type on christmas eve when watching christmas movies#anyway this is too big and too complicated in my head but i wanna dissect it like a bug yknow#wanna see daryl and aaron remember something lydia said about her life at the start#and set off to go find her#wanna see a world where hershel meets aaron and tara#wanna see the complicated blended grimes family in action#want to see princess and tara and rick interact becos i think it'd be so so special#want to see alden and negan interact#want to see how lucille would fit into it all then see how annie would fit into it#wanna see mercer come into it wanna see him go find princess except princess finds him#also just want to see who would believe them when the truth eventually spills out#shane not believing at all that time travel could ever possibly be real and currently happening#but merle believing daryl becos daryl could break his nose daryl could fuck up his bike daryl could raise actual hell.but daryl wouldn't li#at least–not about this#just! wanna see! wanna think!#anyway. merry christmas eve im going to bed now#there are so many characters and points and interactions im probably missing or forgetting but u Get It#m#text
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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