that poll that’s like “how many books did you read in 2023” and i don’t even remember 90% of 2023, let alone what i read just last month

Venting on the Internet:

I know this is probably only going to get a couple of notes but I need as MUCH data as possible so PLEASE VOTE AND REBLOG!

Pac accidentally makes an enemy of Etoiles by killing Ethan (Crankgameplays) not realizing what team he's on.

(He immediately regrets it)

i think that i've figured out why i don't like show sally.

ok like don't get me wrong, virginia kull?? she ATE with that interpretation. her acting?? amazing. like i could truly get the core of her character.

it's just that i don't like the character the writers give us.

cw: discussion of abusive relationships, of toxic family dynamics, probably a good bit of generational trauma. I don't really get into details except with stuff shown on the show and written in the books but i wanted to be safe.

as someone from an immigrant household, as someone whose mom works a part time minimum wage job, as someone whose seen and been there as my parents fought, i just really really dislike sally's portrayal in the show. and it's partly because of poseidon and partly because of gabe (mostly because of her character in general but yeah, lets get the men out of the way first)

I feel strongly about poseidon in his relationship to sally very specifically. i don't mind his relationship to percy either books or show. but it's pretty damn clear to me that this show was written by someone who's never experienced sally's situation, of being the single working parent with an absentee partner (or in gabe's case a partner who literally ahHHHHHh). because from the beginning, from sally's reaction and snark to gabe, I felt like something was wrong or off, and it was Specifically the show because i read the books and i watched (some) of the musical and i never felt that way towards either of those. i'm not saying that my family situation is sally's (don't have a god for a father for one), but. by all accounts sally knows that this is an abusive relationship, the only reason that she's with gabe is because of the protection he offers percy. i have to assume that this is true because sally jackson turning gabe to stone is something i'm assuming is staying in the show, and i remember this being mentioned by grover? or someone in the first few episodes. and the cord that struck in me was not the traditional (that is, visible, defined, i don't like this word but i don't have a better one) abusive relationship but relationships in my community, of women staying with husbands because of their children, women outright saying this, women who know the world is cruel to single women and to single mothers specifically. sally, to me has never been under any illusions that gabe is any sort of relationship material. she has never been under any illusions that poseidon would be able to help in any way.

and that crux of sally's relationships made her first scene in the show all that more jarring. but it's not anything specifically that i can put a finger on. and maybe i'm wrong for this or maybe i'm expecting too much. but. sally doesn't have the resentment or the quietness or the bitterness or even the loudness that i expected. you have been the only true caretaker for your child, the only one in the house that really puts food on the table and on top of that is expected to do emotional labor? to cook and clean or at least pick up the food?

but she treats gabe like he's an annoyance. someone to brush off. and you see the manipulation tactics from gabe, you do, but.

its not that i want sally's spirit to be crushed. my mother's spirit wasn't crushed. the women in my community, they laugh, they cry, they watch silly tv shows, they have lives that they live, and in many cases they live well.

but the women that i know are also angry. they are either on fire or they used to burn. when they banter with their partners it often turns ugly because they are tired of the same damn argument day after day, because often the trivial things that are asked are compounded and compounded and compounded because you live in the same house, there is no escape, there is no private space, not really.

it's new york and sally works a job to support an apartment and her family. they are not well-off. sally has no support network we can see, and how could she? poseidon mentions that she has no one to talk to about these things, her parents are clearly out of the picture. all this to say. there is a certain understanding of class that exists within the books that was excised, i believe unknowingly, from the show, and it is the worse for it. there is a tiredness, a worn-down-ness from being low income that sally had in the books, but in the show i only see a struggling first time single parent. i don't see the complexity of a woman who literally gave up on finding a fulfilling relationship to be with a man for her child. i don't see the complexity of a woman working fulltime and still getting demanded from at home. and i didn't realize that I wanted to see that until I saw the show. i didn't realize that that was what i loved about the books.

i hate that they tried to bring poseidon back into sally's life as this perfect man who through cosmic forces can't help. i hate that sally calls him, i hate that he says he'll listen. but most of all i hate that sally just accepts him, falls into him. it's really hard to be a mother when your partner doesn't seem to help you parent in any way, even if he cannot help you. he's a greek god, there's no way in hell that he can begin to understand the lengths that sally has gone through to sacrifice and survive, the very human things that she's done. sally in the books thinks of poseidon as a sweet memory, almost a fairytale, and it's clear that this story is the one that brings her comfort. poseidon is a one night stand, a sweet stranger, she understands he's not coming back. but this poseidon comes when sally calls, and that i cannot believe. i cannot believe that she still thinks of him as the fairytale man, that she accepts him so easily if there isn't that distance. i cannot believe that there is no resentment, that she still puts faith in him as her god (the first episode when she talks about him just felt so wrong to me) if he's not a memory, but a recurring figure. this is not a story of star-crossed lovers, sally feels too real as a human being for that.

sally finds trust, finds contentment, in the books after percy leaves home, after she no longer has to put up with gabe for his safety. she does not find poseidon again. she marries a human man, a very ordinary human man who cares for her. poseidon visits after she is in this relationship and its an amicable one. he is percy's father but also distant memory all in one. sally has the strength to survive a terrible relationship and still find a way to heal and live fully after that.

but the anger. the fire was there. she turned gabe to stone. she reclaimed her life with her two hands.

you don't kill a man for no reason. you don't kill a man without emotion.

but it's that reason and that emotion that i don't get from the writer's room. and it just makes me deeply sad.

I had completely forgotten that it was in Nan Elmoth that Thingol and Melian met, and that Thingol explicitly suffered an enchantment after wandering in, and that the enchantment still lay upon the forest when Aredhel entered it, years later; and it probably lasted until the breaking of Beleriand at the end of the First Age...

And now I'm entertaining a headcanon that the forest is Beleriand's Bermuda Triangle -- Thingol and Aredhel are the most notable missing person cases, yes, but there are many others who have gone into the forest or even just strayed too close to its borders and allegedly have never been seen again; travelers and merchants and hunters, all disappearing. It gains the reputation of being haunted or cursed (not in the horror-and-madness-walked terror of Dungortheb kind of way, but more in a less severe, urban legend kind of way); a bedtime story to frighten children; just enough for the more superstitious folk to willingly add a day or two to their journeys to avoid it, just in case, but not enough for the more pragmatically-minded to resist scoffing at the notion and thinking it absurd, leading to many arguments. Perhaps it becomes a favorite spot for dares among the younger elves, challenging each other to spend a night under the shadow of its trees Eol having to chase all these damn elflings that have started appearing off of his lawn, grandma-style

And even after Beleriand sinks under the waves, the rumors persist that there is an area upon the sea -- many days out and almost a direct shot westwards from the northernmost reaches of the Ered Luin -- where ships simply vanish. And if sailors of those vessels ever do reappear, drifting into port on wood that should be long-rotted or suddenly, inexplicably, finding themselves standing behind a market stall or sitting on an inn stool, they do so with no memory of what occurred; only the haziest dream-like recollection of deep twilight and birdsong.

Fringe | Season 4 (2011-12), J.J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci

lmao I wasn't expecting to get invested in the bona dea scandal for real, but alas! so here's clodius after I took the time to figure out a design for real, although I might go back and change his hair again 🤔

Gendering Clodius, E. W. Leach

society6 | ko-fi | twitter (pillowfort, cohost) | deviantart

joker-kun

Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?

(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)

Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?

I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.

I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.

I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.

amanda brotzman is a girl who's a she/her dude and dirk gently is a boy who's a he/him girlie. hope this helps <3

it’s panic attack wednesday my lads

from your character analysis ask meme, for alhaitham: Are they prone to jealousy? would he be too logical to be jealous? Would his jealousy be in vain or would it perhaps be a sign that his partner has crossed the line of sorts?

Definition of jealousy:

I apologize for taking some time with this ask. I’m going to answer this in a more analytical format because I think this situation calls for it. I want to say that no, under normal circumstances, Alhaitham is not the kind of person to get jealous. In my experience, there are usually three triggers for jealousy:

1. Reader interacting normally with friends and hobbies and partner gets (unreasonably) jealous

2. Reader getting too involved with spending time with friends/hobbies not realizing they’re neglecting partner which gets them (reasonably) jealous

3. Reader specifically does things that will incite jealousy within partner by purposefully doing things like ignoring partner or flirting with others

Alhaitham would not get jealous under the first instance. Being a very independent person, he would understand and respect his partner’s need for it as well. The second instance would be the closest he’d feel to your definition of jealousy. While he’d be able to withstand it for a while, eventually he’d probably feel neglected and would pull you away to capture your sole attention.

As for the third scenario, while he would get upset and would get jealous, I don’t believe this would happen in a normal relationship. Personally, I would never flirt with someone that isn’t my partner just for fun, even if I’m close to them. I think that’s a very hurtful thing to do to someone that has feelings for you.

So long story short, no, I don’t think Alhaitham is prone to jealousy. Not that he’s “too logical” to be jealous. He just understands and respects people’s need for independence. That being said, he probably can end up feeling neglected if left alone too long.

sometimes i wonder if certain...people who hate characters...spend more time thinking about them than people who like them. like, sometimes it seems very much this kate beaton comic

and you just. you know. gotta wonder what they're getting out of it

Weighing in on the debate “Are you allowed to ship aromantic characters?” As an aromantic person, this is a difficult subject. On the one hand, we have characters who clearly and repeatedly state that they hate romance, do not feel romantic attraction, and don’t want to be in a relationship. On the other hand, we have your personal inability to engage with deep relationships without making them romantic. As a compromise, I say people are allowed to ship canon aromantic characters, provided they pay me at least $100 in cash for the license.

besides the whole "sam is emotionally abusive" argument I keep seeing fucking everywhere (I need it gone!!), it's very obvious that a lot of people don't really understand the effect that the demon blood had on sam as a person. idk in my mind, it's always kind of compared to deans moc arc. like yes, sam was willingly drinking it, as opposed to dean not having control over the mark's influence (besides taking it on in the first place after leaving sam alone in the wake of his non-consensual & third possession but dw about that rn). in concept, the demon blood had the same effect on sam that the mark did on dean, in the way that it fucked with him innately (dean telling sam he should die, when dean's always gone to extreme lengths to save him, while sam calls dean weak, when just the next season he sacrifices himself because he's the "least of any of them"). it's not really present in the first half of the season (up to 04x14ish), when he's not consistently taking the demon blood, but it's especially obvious in the second part of the season. after reestablishing his relationship with ruby (after she guilt trips him and tells him it's his fault for people dying but we'll move on for now), he very suddenly goes from being very willing to talk to dean about hell and console him, to not really being there for dean. and while I don't love/agree with him calling dean weak for being traumatized, I think it really shows how it was making sam, an undeniably compassionate person, very closed off and cold, which is devastating in its own right, and part of the reason why the demon blood arc is so amazing.

idk I just see a lot of people constantly hating on sam for shit that he did while being high on the blood/while the blood was fucking with him, and I think a lot of those things are very un-sam things that he spends the entirety of the next season apologizing and trying to make up for. like sam in his right mind is a person who would not necessarily do the things he says/does in that season and I think that's forgotten a lot. for me, the bottom line is, if you hate sam for things he did in s4 and then turn around and immediately defend dean for things he did in s10, there's something going on there and it's not just blatant hypocrisy from the narrative.

hi it's nyx here once again to talk about lark vs henry and what that meant for sparrow because i swear every episode that shows even a Little bit of sparrow's actual personality is controversial.

"nyx what do you mean by this" well it's a very blatant fact that sparrow does not get much nuance in the fandom: this is especially prevalent when examining hero's conversation with normal where she explicitly calls out lark and rebecca alongside sparrow and yet sparrow is solely blamed. because of this, every time we do see sparrow be his genuine self in the show - from talking to scary and shielding her from violence to taking charge of grant and lark and wanting to help the teens to the most recent episode's case of him not believing in animal captivity - i've noticed people quickly jumping on him for being hypocritical but nobody asking why he would be hypocritical, or why he's made choices that clearly do not reflect his actual beliefs.

so let's talk about that, shall we?

i know i've talked about this before but it bears repeating: sparrow is complacent. he has consistently made decisions that go against his own beliefs, bottling up his actual thoughts on the matter in order to "keep the peace". we know this, this is a canon fact, he said as much about lark and rebecca's affair!

why does he do this? well to me, what makes the most logical sense is that this stems all the way to lark and henry's conflict. if the rogue card is only predicting anger and not enforcing it, that means there is more to lark's anger than just what happened with walter. part of that is his fear of being unable to protect the people he cares about, being helpless in situations where he could've done something, yes, but i do believe there's another root cause to his anger, one that would fuel him for decades: sparrow.

...well, more specifically, how henry changed sparrow.

we know that lark wasn't the happiest about the lovewolf split. after the lord of chaos arc, sparrow starts very slowly developing a separate personality, enough so that he and lark aren't necessarily the same kid, one unit, the same person twice. sparrow tried to teach lark his new philosophy, it was ultimately rejected. lark doesn't understand it! but he loves sparrow regardless. that disappointment, that resentment of how sparrow had changed... it goes back to henry, to henry giving sparrow that speech and reinforcing those beliefs!

we also know that originally, sparrow didn't want to pick a side. he wanted them both to get along! to reconcile! and we know that lark didn't tell him about what he saw on the throne, which has me believing that there were, perhaps, other things that lark didn't tell sparrow in crucial moments: such as his decision to release the doodler, since we really don't know if sparrow knew. sparrow would've been happy to reconcile the two, and it makes sense if this was something he didn't know but something that shakes his perspective: aka, what happens if lark doesn't confide in him. to get lark back on his side, he has to be on lark's side irrevocably, which means abandoning his peacekeeping and mediation to choose lark wholeheartedly.

so by the time the ep23 flashback happens... sparrow has lost that bit of personality he had started to form in s1. he's lark's other half again, helping him with plans, sharing his ideas. he has... you could say, lost his confidence in being a lovewolf, because despite his best efforts, it only brought more strife to his family and he doesn't want to lose lark. we know this! he doesn't want to lose lark!

and then, they find out the prophecy, that one of the twins will have a kid who will save the world. think about everything we know about lark, how stubbornly persistent he was on fixing things Himself since he puts the weight of the world on his shoulders alone. lark doesn't blame sparrow or henry, he only blames himself. would he jump at having a family to fix his mistakes? no.

but sparrow would.

so sparrow takes that burden from him. sparrow has hero when he is twenty, and lark gets to be the cool uncle who helps around the house and hero blames both twins equally so we know they did this together. sparrow doesn't want to lose lark again, he doesn't want to be himself, he adapts to rebecca's views because it's easier than admitting that maybe he shares some of the same- definitely makes him marrying a vegan centrist make sense, right? he can use rebecca as a scapegoat and it Works. his own personality gets shafted in favor of being the same man twice with lark, he bottles everything up, he disapproves but never says as much.

and he fucked up with hero. clearly, he knows that. hero has a regular life now at a private school with a job and an internship and she's a massive dweeb and i don't think any one of you could look me in the eye and say that lark approved that. it was sparrow's decision! and we know what lark thinks about sparrow's parenting: i need every one of yall who truly believes that lark would be a better father to normal to go and relisten to normal's introduction scene in ep1 and then to the end of ep24 again where lark explicitly tells normal that being the mascot is a waste of his time when he could be learning "actually useful" skills (like hunting and survival- and yall still think sparrow was the one having hero kill deer?) and that he's too soft-hearted and naive and that is sparrow's fault for being too nice. normal would not be the same kid if lark was raising him and that is NOT a good thing lmao

all of this to say. i am so tired of people understanding lark's nuance and understanding grant's nuance and understanding the s1 dads and their nuance and how their trauma fucked up their relationships with their kids and yet sparrow is the one yall bash every other week repeatedly without ever wondering like. huh. maybe it is strange that his actions now don't hold up against his actions in the past. maybe there's something else going on that is consistent with literally every other aspect of his character. it is so tiring to go into his tag and see the same things over and over and over again repeated on loop every time we see sparrow's actual personality slip out beyond him perpetuating the "same man twice" persona. he's nuanced! they're all nuanced! and that's a good thing!

sparrow's biggest issues are his complacency, the way he upholds decisions that might not really be the best decisions because it's easier. his love for lark and his desire to fix things clouds his judgement and yeah, that means he goes against his own morals frequently; or at least, he did. so far in the season though, with how he's treated normal being in the line of fire and getting into his mess, he's definitely already realized this and is putting in the work to ensure that normal doesn't go through what hero did- something that lark is not doing. sparrow's also been the best towards the other teens consistently, the most willing to listen and change his perspective (as demonstrated again in ep24- really i just think people need to relisten to ep24!) and he's definitely not the best dad but that can be said not just about all the kiddads but also about literally every dad in this podcast, because that's what this podcast is about. thank you for reading and i hope i don't have to make this post again in a few weeks <3