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#co speaks
octaviasdread · 3 months
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(don’t repost photos)
05.02.24
new modules, new reading lists, and new multi vitamins are doing wonders for my motivation
unlike the professor who released our class details three days ago - our books should arrive on time but how much we can read by next week is…questionable
at least the storms are over. storm isha tik toks were right, battling the wind as a student with no car is really not it
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The secret good ending for FNAF ruin,,
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cosmicoceans-fr · 11 months
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i wish i could edit and reorganise my saved AH searches
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chrollohearttags · 3 months
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meg baby, I promise we’ll all look the other way if you decide to strangle that chimera ant built bitch. I promise we won’t say nothing.
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focsle · 8 months
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I get so annoyed when people are like ‘oh those 19th century idiots with their silly understanding of things that were killing them lol’ when half of it was like…
They knew there was harm but because of various things, be it manufacturing happening out of their control, or what their access or lack of access looked like, or what assurances they were given by whom, what have you, that harm mitigation became more challenging.
Like, people knew that scurvy was treated by access to fresh fruits and vegetables (though there was sometimes a mistaken identity of believing acidity was indicative of something that’d help you, such as vinegar, which is a logical conclusion when you don’t know about vitamin c). But sometimes one still finds themselves in a place or job where that access can’t happen.
Doctors and journalists were sounding alarms about the dangers of heavy metals in dyes and makeup. But If your understanding of how something caused harm didn’t match with the actual currently-not-understood dangers (such as thinking that arsenic kills something when ingested, but not knowing about dust or outgassing) one might not be alert to the danger of it. The power of advertising, and labels, and assurances could also sway people as much as they do today.
There were journalists who wrote on the dangers of adulterated food cut with inedible materials. But if, like heavy metals in dyes and cosmetics, it was embedded in the manufacturing process, and if there was no system in place to hold those manufacturers accountable, there wasn’t much you could do. Especially for poorer families who didn’t often have access to food that WASN’T adulterated. They couldn’t afford food that wasn’t adulterated. You still have to eat.
Some doctors also sounded the alarm about the use of mercury / calomel treatments for various ailments, saying that they did more harm than good. But if that’s the most widely available treatment, if it’s the only option open to you when the alternative is ‘inevitably die horribly from syphilis anyway’, people may have taken their chances. Especially when it was also being pushed by other authority figures as being an effective miracle cure.
Idk all this to say that capitalism always kills, ordinary people trying to get through their lives are always trying to do the best they can in the circumstances they find themselves in with the knowledge they have and what’s available to them, and like…look in a mirror or something. I don’t want someone calling me an idiot 200 years from now, if humanity is still here, because my organs were full of microplastics. There’s nothing I can do about that. Criticize the greed and structures that put them there.
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desos-records · 1 year
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The part I appreciate the most in the Lockwood and Co show is how it handles depression and suicidal thoughts in teenagers. As a theme, it’s not often (ever) done well. Lockwood and Co is the only story I can think of that depicts it in a nuanced, realistic, non-romanticized way
but first, before I get into it: [if you’re in crisis or need someone to talk to and don’t want to/can’t use your national hotline, highly recommend Samaritans, genuinely saved my life] okay, let’s go
Lockwood is the most obvious, with his general disregard for his own life and admitted suicidal ideation. Lucy struggles with her self-worth and the intensity of the emotions she’s subjected to. George worries that he doesn’t belong, that there’s something useless or wrong about him. The show depicts these thoughts and feelings in a way that isn’t overblown or dramatized, it’s all but casual. Which is how it happens. Depression or suicidal thoughts don’t crash into you all at once, they creep into your life without you noticing
But more importantly (and again, something I’ve never seen anywhere else), the show also offers counterpoints to those thoughts and feelings. It shows that there is a way out, even though you may feel trapped and hopeless. This is crucial for the show’s target demographic. Bad media depictions of depression or suicide get internalized, contribute to the stigma, and make it harder for people to ask for help. This show doesn’t do that. This show tells its audience that, yes, things are scary and painful and it fucking sucks, but it’s not hopeless. And it says it so well
In the second episode, when Lucy wants to quit, she admits something that I’m almost certain she’s never told anyone
“sometimes I just think I’d be better off dead”
And when I watched this the first time, I expected Lockwood to react the way I’ve seen people react in my own life; with silence or panic or downright dismissal. But he didn’t. He stays calm and he says something that is so so important to hear when you’re struggling under the weight of feelings like this
“I understand that”
Saying this tells someone several things: that you’re on their side, they aren’t strange or monstrous for feeling like this, and that you’re not going to attack or abandon them because of it. And you can see the impact it has on Lucy, the way her face clears. She went from struggling to breathe and near tears to calm and steady. It’s no mistake that in this moment we hear his and Lucy’s theme for the first time (those simple, beautiful guitar strings)
The next thing he says is also important
“and it’s not true”
Simple, to the point, directly addressing her feelings, and (the most common mistake) doesn’t make it about him. Telling someone that you love them or that they’d be upset to lose you might sound nice, and it can be later on in the conversation, but in a moment like this, it’s infinitely more helpful to confront the thought itself
A similar moment in the first book stuck with me too, when they’re underneath Combe Carey Hall and Lucy almost steps into the well. What she’s hearing in her head (and the general phenomenon of malaise that ghosts produce) is very similar to depressive or suicidal thoughts. Before she can fall, Lockwood pulls her back
“no, Lucy, that’s not the way it’s going to be”
Depressive and suicidal thoughts deal in absolutes, so sometimes it takes an absolute to counter it
In the last episode, George has that heart-breaking moment where he says all the awful things he thinks about himself, partly because of the influence of the boneglass and Bickerstaff, but it’s also been building up, there in the background. Increasingly, it’s Lockwood and Lucy working together and George working on his own, which picks at old wounds (engineer, engineer, engineer, weirdo). He bonds with Joplin because he feels like she understands him in a way the others don’t
“it’s nice to have someone to show off to”
But Lucy pushes back against all that because she sees herself in all the ugly things George is saying, because she’s felt that way too. She understands that. She’s so surprised and horrified to hear him saying those things, resigning himself to dying down there, she’s not going to let him go on believing them
“you’re not a third wheel or an oddball or whatever it is that you think you are”
“you’re the best of us”
“we are not losing you, Georgie”
Flo called him that earlier too, but Lucy wasn’t there for that and coming unprompted from her it sounds so much like something you might call your slightly annoying younger brother. She’s so absolute about it all, with no opening for doubt, and you can see something like surprise on George’s face (but also pain because now Lucy’s in danger too)
For all Lucy knows, the boneglass will kill her. I don’t think for a second she genuinely believes her talent will protect her; she told Joplin that to protect George. It’s unclear when exactly she came up with the plan to use the skull, but she was willing to risk it anyway. And she knows, she knows, George will blame himself for this (because she would too, if it were the other way around), but even then, she’s very clear
“this isn’t your fault”
Their whole scene down in the catacombs is two kids trying to keep each other alive, physically obviously, but on the inside as well. And, oh god, George almost crashing down next to Lucy after he’s knocked over the boneglass, trying to wake her up. His voice
“Lucy, Lucy, it’s me, it’s me, say something, speak to me”
I think it’s down in those catacombs that George and Lucy really understand each other for the first time. In their own ways, they’re both curious and suspicious about the Problem and what causes it, trying to learn more about it (and stressing Lockwood out in the process). They both left their families; they both struggle with feeling strange and different than everyone around them. That connection pulls them both back from the edge
Lockwood, for all his confidence, is practically in crisis or was fairly recently (I suspect living with George helped). It’s fairly common, actually, for someone suicidal to overcompensate with an exterior shell to hide it, which can manifest in different ways depending on the person (they may not even realize they’re doing it, I didn’t)
And I love how the show handles it. He’s not made into this dark, tragic figure. He’s so full of life it hurts. He jokes around with George and Flo, fights with Kipps, admires Fairfax. He has dreams (plans) for the future. He’s struggling with trauma, they all are, but he’s not Broken™ in the way similar leading characters are often made out to be, in the way we often fear we are
And, of course, there’s Lucy, a wreaking ball through the precarious balance of Lockwood’s life. It’s not so much that she gives him a reason to live (although she definitely helps), but she holds him accountable in a way no one else does. This is the difficult part of recovery that no one talks about. Having people care for you (George) and sympathize with you (Flo) is great and necessary, especially early on. But at some point, you have to take responsibility for yourself and the noise in your head (you have to open your door on the landing)
What that looks like is complicated and messy and different for every person, but seeing it played out in a story is remarkable. I’ve never seen anything like it. This is a difficult thing for anyone to learn (many adults never even try)
That shot of George, Lucy, Lockwood (and Kipps) rising up on the catafalque sums it all up for me. Each of them fell into darkness alone and rose out of it together. They inspired each other to fight and win their individual battles, even when they couldn’t be there to help
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someone had to do it
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“Oh, what about this? A cactus!”
“I think... flowers.”
“Well, this might flower… eventually.”
What’s that John? The prickly, poorly-comforting plant might flower into something beautiful and kind under your presence? WELL ILL BE DAMNED WHAT A SURPRISE—
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xserpx · 1 year
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Lockwood & Co. 1.06
"Look, I saw you talking to Kipps earlier outside." "Oh." "Yeah. So?" "He offered me a job too. And asked me out for coffee." "Coffee?" "You know, like what normal people do. Hanging out."
Requested by @cuddlyreader :)
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identityquest · 4 months
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allysion... girl i havent drawn u in 3 years
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redrobin-detective · 2 months
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I’ve never seen this talked about but I found this a truly interesting bit of Skull lore. When he was alive it was a good century before the Problem started and ghosts were generally thought as fanciful.
But Skull could clearly see them, enough to be able to ward them off while making the bone glass. It gives so much context as to how and why Skull ended up with Bickerstaff and possibly explains how he’s able to communicate in the modern day.
I think Skull had been another ‘once in a generation’ psychic talent like Marissa and Lucy had been. Hell, Marissa has proven that with enough talent one could see spirits pre-problem. Skull’s innate talent from when he was alive is the reason he’s able to talk to Lucy, another talented Listener. Does Skull even know how incredible it was to see spirits before it was a nation wide problem???
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octaviasdread · 8 days
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I hereby conduct this tortured poets society album meeting in all of its mania and sorrowful blues as I move from unhinged impressions to unhinged first-listen analysis because I am incapable of saying less.
(and to all the Aimees i’m so sorry but that’s on Kim)
This Anthology is taking me so long to process, but nothing feels like the first jarring moments of I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - the cacophony and flashes of a birthday breakdown bopping to 80s arcade game synth. It's crumbled cake and mascara streaks when Bejewelled is actually a delusional Mirrorball,
and The Secret Garden reference in I Hate It Here, oh god, she’s so me:
I hate it here so I will go to / secret gardens in my mind / people need a key to get to / the only one is mine / i read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
I need to come back to that. But the whirlwind of Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? Plans cancelled. IM THE ONE barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, actually. It's me chained-up in that poor things victorian mourning dress shrieking elegies in my tortured nightingale screams.
She's Grammys Taylor looking at the crowd of her peers rolling their eyes, she's the litany of snide jokes diminishing her success, and the children, sisters, friends, and girlfriends of those who wronged her loudly singing her songs.
so i leap from the gallows and i levitate down your street / crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / who’s afraid of little old me
i was tame i was gentle til the circus made me mean / don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth
ohhh, the throwback to Speak Now and the significance of MEAN. The song and its titular word show how childish language encapsulates that pointless spite and the bone deep hurt mean behaviour breeds - but now she’s a phoenix risen, and they hurl her youth and her downfall back in her face - word for word, surprised face - its the dark side the The Lucky One, of not escaping the cage of fame games.
you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me / you caged me and then you called me crazy
i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me / you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me / so all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs / i’m always drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all said?
PUT NARCOTICS IN MY SONG took me out. This album is funny in the most sardonic and absurdly humorous ways,
like the classic cowboy western guitar strings in her crime songs (I Can Fix Him, No Really I Can - pistols drawn), but especially the ones leading into Fresh Out The Slammer. Fucking genius, and to follow on with static sounds at 2:26ish to the house where you still wait up, is exactly the kinda detail I adore.
Naively, I thought Florence was done with me after Florida!!! It's a lyrical meme for single 20 & 30 somethings who moved away from home,
my friends all smell of like weed or little babies / and the city reeks of driving myself crazy / little did you know your home’s really only / a town you’re just a guest in
and the haunting morphs from the ghost of your girlhood into the catalogue of decisions and delusions which get you through adulthood. Yet it feels almost like an interlude within the song when
me and my ghosts we’ve had a hell of a time / yes i’m haunted but i’m feeling fine / all my girls got their lace and their crimes / and your cheating husband disappeared/ well no one asks questions here
appears like an alternative pov for No Body, No Crime with the girls and their ghosts and their pacts made over wine. Every Action has an Equal Reaction. Run away to Florida, or Texas, and lose yourself to lose the heartbreak. Its self-destruction, it's trauma-healing, bonding, and its breaking.
(what a song for an angsty girl collab, problematic girl in hand with problematic girl, lyrically and thematically, maybe the real love story is the friends we make along the way.)
And that wasn't even the last of it. It's Florence 2.0 with B side Cassandra, but instead of Dance Fever, its Taylor’s glorious mythology with all the allusions, parallels, intertextual and lyrical ruining of my mind:
when the first stone’s thrown they’re screaming / when its burn the bitch they’re shrieking / when the truth comes out its quiet
so they killed cassandra first cus she feared the worst / and tried to tell the town / so they filled my cell with snakes i regret to say / do you believe me now?
No apologies anymore. A girl given the gift of prophecy by Apollo, the GOD OF POETRY, is cursed with her prophecy never being believed: Burning all the witches even if you aren't one, indeed. She saw the truth of the Trojan horse, and the Trojans insulted her. Rep snake branding and the current cultural view of KK and Ye. I don't need to say anything else.
i was in the tower weaving nightmares / twisting all my smiles into snarls
the family the pure greed the christian chrous line / bloods thick but nothing like a payroll / bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
I literally played that THREE times before I got over it enough to finish my first listen,
and i’m still thinking about Clara Bow and that Stevie Nicks tambourine we collectively freaked over from the Spotify installation, and all the silent movie speculation from the track title release.
you look like Clara Bow in this light - you look like Stevie Nicks in '75 - you look like Taylor Swift
Three women whose public profession became entangled with their pain. Silver Springs. Boyfriend songs. The jokes. Clara Bow.
Clara feared being left behind by 'talkies.' Miss Americana. The fear of 30 bringing death to a woman's Hollywood/Musical career,
beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more / only when your girlish glow flickers just so / do they let you know?
Three women who beat the odds - three women whose talent, craft, and popularity carried them through.
But there's something more to unpack here with cycles and patterns - of the past endlessly repeating. It's the transient nature of fame and our fleeting view of beauty mapped out in the untouchable, ever-changing, and culturally worshiped moon.
It's a body of physical craters, a natural body we call discovered, and fight to claim. We project emotions and create rituals of worship - you're the new god we're worshipping. Endless stories are told about her, but we can never fully see the moon with human eyes. Eclipses, shadows, - 'half moonshinе, a full eclipse' - half-truths and half-moons:
this town is fake but you're the real thing / breath of fresh air through smoke rings / take the glory, give everything / promise to be dazzling
There's a play on light and a play on words in the repetition of Dazzling, shining so bright so blindingly bright. Who is dazzled? Who is doing the dazzling? There's an instability between Director - Public - Star. It's Hollywood lights, No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan / No one in my small town thought I'd meet these suits in LA.
She beat the 'War Big Machine' - but for me, there's ambivalence and illusion on all sides of the final lyrics, you've got edge, she never did / the future's bright, dazzling.
(and ‘Edge’ is particularly ironic when you consider the songs on this album…)
Moving again into the B Side, it's Taylor's departure from Invisible string, red strings of fate, and golden threads à la the golden chain of fate in Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities that strikes me.
First, I thought her writing was a complete departure from the themes of destiny and fate, but then, The Prophecy:
cards on thе table / Mine play out like fools in a fablе
it isn't an absent symbol; it transformed. It's the evermore forest amped to the max. Witches, folklore, fairy-tale and fable - a homeric epic. Its the hero's journey distilled as she opens the song with a move from 'full throttle' adventure, to slowing down 'Hand on the Throttle' to appeal for Supernatural aid at the hero's transformative fall.
and it was written / I got cursed like eve got bitten / a greater woman wouldn't beg / but I looked at the sky and said / please I've been on my knees / change the prophecy
Lover asking Traffic Lights becomes spending my last coin so someone will tell me, and this might be the most slept-on heartbreaking line. Her search for reassurance can't be framed as an arbitrary musing anymore. It can't be dismissed as a mere thought on her drive home, or something triggered throughout the day - its intent. It's a quest for answers, a plea, a last-ditch hope difficult to deny.
and I sound like an infant / feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen/ a greater woman stays cool/ but I howl like a wolf at the moon / and I look unstable /
gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table / a greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait / i'm so afraid I sealed my fate / no sign of soulmates
She's asking for a gift from the Gods, and when the God's won't answer, she plunges straight down from heaven or Olympus into the self seizure of power in witchcraft. And when it fails, she descends further - Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay - paying mortal fortune tellers, even if they lie.
The song leans on figures without redemption, on the Eve's, on the women cursed and punished, and those who scream like infants rather than enduring burdens and pain in silence. She's poisoned, infected like Aurora from the wound of the pricked hand with dreams of him. Is this a punishment?
She's infected, cursed like Eve got bitten, [lyric of all time!!!!] but does a monster always do monstrous things? Who is the monster? Who is the folkloric, the literary Mad Woman? Perhaps she's written from the desperate, the scarred, and the wronged.
and the transition into another tale with Peter? As in Peter losing Wendy? Is it an epilogue to the Betty trilogy? or a different use of the metaphor?
and I didn't wanna hang around / we said it was just goodbye for now /said you were gonna grow up / then you were gonna come find me / words from the mouths of babes / promises oceans deep / but never to keep
The triangle is echoed in love's never lost when perspective is earned, reflecting the different povs of Betty, August, and James, and placing Peter as the new conclusion - the shelf life of those fantasies has expired / lost to the lost boys chapter of your life/ the woman who sits by the window/ has turned out the (porch?) light.
Promises wear out. Wendy's window closes, and so does this chapter in her life.
my lost fearless leader / in closets like cedar / preserved from when we were just kids / is it something I did? / the goddess of timing / once found us beguiling
is also - intentionally or not - Narnia coded. Is the storybook collecting dust in her closet? Or is the closet still holding a portal to another fairytale land accessible only in youth, another home you can't return to (and another folklore parallel with mtr, anywhere I want just not home).
Side B is so harmonious with ttpd being the end of a chapter as the anthology moves through all the seven stages (or Taylor playlists) of grief.
The Manuscript, the signing of the autopsy, is the Death of the Author. It's the Roland Barthes realisation of All Too Well reborn in joy and fan culture, the story isn't mine anymore, of the Eras - 'I hope you hear these songs and think of this night' - Tour. She knew what the agony had been for - art. connection. - and its these things that create the hope lost in ttpd's journey through mania, disorientation, loss and despair. It all leads to healing, nothing left but a manuscript.
So many thoughts from listen no.1 and they’ll probably change, but i’m so exhausted from this 31 song rollercoaster that I'm just gonna let this sit. death of the author, I guess.
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brother-emperors · 8 months
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CAESAR AUGUSTUS AND MARCUS LICINIUS CRASSUS
this is about the spolia opima that crassus was robbed of lmao. like, yeah okay octavian could've asked him not to claim it, but nevertheless. a kind of theft happened there.
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Fact and Fiction: Crassus, Augustus, and the Spolia Opima, Catherine McPherson
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lunarw0rks · 7 months
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so do you think price would tell the boys about the baby he found or would he wait until she at least knows how to walk before mentioning anything to anyone just yet — or would they find out by themselves? (ie accidentally bringing one of her belongings to work, one of her butterfly hair clips getting stuck on his uniform)
omg i just had the cutest idea about this
so,, you and john are good friends (and that's why he called you to co-parent in the first place). and that means the guys know about you, probably have seen or met you before !!
ANYWAYS,,
imagine it's been a few weeks; price is still on leave. coming into his office for paperwork isn't unusual, so they think nothing of it. it's like 2 a.m. and he needs something from his office; even on leave, he's working from home.
until they notice something. price, disheveled — wearing a shirt he didn't bother to tuck in, and he looks like hell... and then, the diaper bag slung over his shoulder, which he's failed to notice in his fatigue.
"um, Sir?" gaz would be the first to say something, putting the pieces together. how the hell had their captain had a baby?! was there a secret partner they didn't know about?!
the captain mumbles a dismissal and finally gets the file he needs, tucking it under his arm. then, his phone buzzes in his pocket. he shushes his giggling team (and he's failed to realize why they're giggling).
he answers the call, hearing your voice on the other line, reminding him to pick up more formula on his way back — and that the little one misses him. the entire 141, jaws practically on the floor when they hear price address you on the other line. his friend !! or had he lied this whole time, had some domestic double life, with a child?
come to think of it, it had been months since you showed up to any gatherings. perhaps you had been pregnant in that time... right?
john was too exhausted to notice that he'd grabbed the diaper bag instead of his work bag :( and now he revealed his wholesome secret!
no, the child isn't yours, as much as it isn't his. that's going to be a complicated predicament to explain — and you know you'll have to eventually.
wouldn't it be a shame if you had one together to shut them up?
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mashbrainrot · 1 year
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Category is: MASH cast images that I like to pretend are treasured in-universe photos
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kermit-coded · 4 months
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fabian having a breakdown bc riz doesn't immediately pick up the phone is something that can be so personal
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