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anoutlandishfanfic · 5 years

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Metamorphosis AU: Ch. 24, Pt. 1, Convalescence.

The AO3 link to this chapter was posted earlier, but I haven’t posted the text in full here yet. This is not a new chapter, simply adding it to Tumblr.

You can find previous chapters here or over here at AO3.

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Three Days Later; End of December, 1743.

“What’s your pain level, luv?” I murmured, brushing the curls off Jamie’s brow.

He’d been fever free for a solid forty eight hours now, but I still felt like singing the Hallelujah Chorus every time I found him as such.

“I’m fine, Sassenach,” he assured me with a weary smile, “Dinna fash”

As ironic as it might seem — what, with me being six and a half months pregnant with twins and him recovering from major surgery and an assault that brought him to the brink of death — sleep was at a premium these days.

Jamie was able to doze most of the day away, his body unable to keep slumber at bay entirely, but he fought hard against the tow of a truly deep sleep and the demons that accompanied it. I was haunted by nightmares of my own, each more terrifying than the last, but my body’s aches and pains trumped anything my hormone-riddled subconscious could concoct. Intense muscle spasms accompanied by nagging hip pain combined with persistent nausea and frequent trips to relieve myself made it nearly impossible for me to achieve a full night’s sleep… and so I often joined my husband in drifting off in the middle of the day.

I shook my head at his insistence, suppressing a grin at what I knew without a doubt was a complete bluff and patted his cheek patronizingly, “I won’t, but give me the number anyway.”

“Four.”

I rose a brow at this and his smile grew as he added, “And a half.”

I chuckled, leaning in for a kiss and he gladly obliged.

“Mmm,” he intoned, bringing me back in for another one. “A few more of these an’ you’ll have me down to a two, Sassenach.”

”I’m aiming for one,” I quipped cheekily as I sat back and took a good look at my patient.

The color was slowly beginning to creep back into his cheeks and the light back into his eyes. Jamie had endured the unthinkable — I knew he had — but remained silent about most of what had happened at Wentworth. It weighed upon him tremendously, stooping his shoulders and furrowing his brow…

While his body was healing rapidly, his mind and spirit limped far behind.

Jamie’s good hand brushed against my leg and I instinctively pulled it into my lap, curving it around the ever growing swell of our children. He jumped slightly in surprise — I mentally kicked myself, for I knew he startled easily these days — but he quickly recovered and responded in delight.

“They’re growing,” he murmured, his gaze softening.

You’re growing is what he means, I internally groaned. You’re bigger than a horse, Mother Goose.

Jamie was silent for a moment before he sat up more fully, lifting his injured hand to touch my face. His thumb stroked my cheek and I turned my face to gently kiss his palm as my eyes drifted shut, trying to mask my insecurities. He lowered his hand slightly, cupping my chin and waiting for me to look at him before speaking.

“Have I thanked you yet, mo chridhe?”

My brows furrowed in confusion as I asked, “For what?”

“For my children… for the lives you carry a’ the risk of your own.”

My face melted as tears rushed to my eyes. I kissed him, my lips trembling at his tender words as my arms slipped around his neck.

“Oh,” I uttered insufficiently, completely overcome.

I buried my face in his neck, breathing in the scent of him, filling my lungs with the anchoring truth of his presence. His arms came around me too, holding me close as my hot tears hit his skin and we both realized just how much we missed the others touch.

We clung to each other for many moments in reverent silence before I added, “It’s my pleasure.”

A low noise — not quite a chuckle and not quite in negation of my words — rumbled within him, making his chest vibrate deliciously against me.

“Aye, but I ken tis no’ always so… when you were so sick a’ the first, or when they make you change so… when your time comes?”

I shook my head against him, whispering, “Even then.” ... A few days after that.

While he hadn’t ventured far from the bed yet, Jamie was now officially up and about. He puttered around after me as I worked at my table and often followed me to my chamber and back, but today we were going on our first walk around the abbey.

His left arm was looped comfortably through mine, not so much for assistance but rather assurance, as we slowly wandered the halls. Murtagh trailed several paces behind us to ensure we didn’t get lost — the maze of passageways was far more complex than I’d realized — and I thanked my lucky stars that he had, for we rounded a corner and came face to face with none other than Dougal McKenzie.

“Good to see ye on yer feet, lad,” he sneered, his words entirely insincere.

A chill ran down my spine at the sound of his voice and I flinched involuntarily as he took a step closer. Murtagh was at our side in an instant and edged his way between us and our foe.

Jamie’s arm slid out from under mine and wrapped protectively around my waist.

I’ve got you, he promised with a squeeze. He’ll have to get through me to get to you.

“Tis good to see you too, uncle,” Jamie lied through clenched teeth, “but I’m afraid we must be returning to our rooms. I hope to speak wi’ you again before you return to Leoch.”

Dougal waved the notion away as if he were swatting at a pesky fly, scoffing, “Ach, I’ll be here for a while yet… too many redcoat patrols for my taste. Wouldna want to leave ye and have them swarm the place.”

A noise of shock and dismay left my lips before I could stop it and Murtagh sprang into action, all but shoving us in the right direction. Large black spots suddenly appeared at the edges of my vision, obscuring the sudden image of a hangman’s noose around my husband’s neck. My knees buckled beneath me and I latched desperately onto Jamie’s shirtfront.

“Easy, Sassenach,” he crooned as I sagged into him, trembling violently. “I’ve got you.”

“If ye’ll excuse us,” Murtagh growled as we sidestepped Dougal and continued guiding us down the hall, nearly pulling the both of us along behind him.

They wouldn’t, would they?

Religious sanctuary was irrevocable, our protection irrefutable so long as we stayed within the abbey walls…

Wasn’t it?

Father Anselm and the other elders would uphold our right to sanctuary here at the cost of their lives, I knew, but they didn’t stand a chance against an overwhelming military force with a legitimate claim of action. They were harboring not only an escaped convict, but a posse of murderous Highlanders besides. The religious laws and traditions of a Roman Catholic monastery — decidedly Scottish — would be tossed aside without a moment’s hesitation in order to capture the enemies of a mighty, entirely Protestant army.

Get a grip, Beauchamp. This is the seventeen-forties, not the fourteen-forties.

I had no recollection of the rest of the walk back to Jamie’s room, but suddenly blinked and found myself perched on the edge of Jamie’s bed, his pale face studying mine with marked concern.

“Are you alright, mo chridhe?”

“No,” I let out a shuddering sigh. “That bloody man scares the fucking daylights out of me.”

A decided snort sounded from the edges of my vision and I turned to find Murtagh all but bolting the door shut.

“He willna be layin’ a hand on ye, lass,” he vowed. “No’ if I have anythin’ to say about it”

I rather thought Murtagh would have quite a lot to say about the matter, should it be pressed, but I shoved the thought of that away.

Jamie is here.

Murtagh is here.

I am safe.

“You’re safe, Claire,” Jamie echoed my thoughts aloud, using the phrase I often reassured him with.

I nodded with an attempt at a smile, but knew I didn’t quite manage to pull it off.

“We’ll find a way to be out of here an’ his reach, aye?” He continued, tucking a stray curl behind my ear before brushing a tear from my cheek.

“To France, maybe? We’re no’ far from the coast… if we left soon, we could be to Paris or Le Havre a’ least before the bairns came.”

Murtagh seized this idea with an eager determination, “Aye, ye’ve many a kin who’d aid ye there… both Fraser an’ MacKenzie, come to that.”

“Then it’s settled,” Jamie pulled me into his arms, his lips moving against my neck as he announced, “We’ll leave wi’ the first ship tha’ll take us.”

…

One week later.

This proved to be a more difficult task than we’d anticipated, for travel across this area of the channel in the dead of winter was rare, and it seemed we would remain at the abbey for a good while yet.

“Any luck?” I asked unnecessarily as Murtagh entered the room, answering me with a decided shake of his head.

Jamie had dozed off and I’d hoped — in vain — to get some sleep while he did, but it was not to be. I’d found myself restless and the lives within me even more so, and so I’d given it up entirely… returning to his side instead and attempting to sketch out rough schematics for a Pinard horn.

I turned back to my paper, tapping the pencil impatiently against my drawing as I thrust the idea out into the open.

“Could you make something out of wood for me?” I blurted, not quite making eye contact with him.

“Hmm?” he intoned in grumpy confusion… perhaps this wasn’t the right time to ask him for a favor.

He grumbled, “What do ye need?”

I shoved the paper into his hands, explaining hastily before he tuned out entirely, “A Pinard horn… it’s a medical instrument in my time that lets you hear a person’s heartbeat more clearly… mostly used by midwives to hear baby’s within the womb.”

Murtagh’s eyes widened at this and then dropped to study what I’d given him.

“You can hear… them… wi’ this?”

“Yes,” I nodded eagerly. “I don’t remember the exact measurements… only that it’s shaped like this,” I pointed to curve of it.

“It might take a few tries to get it right,” I warned, but he shook his head.

“I dinna mind,” he assured me, then launched into a series of questions that left me without a doubt that we’d soon be able to hear my babies’ heartbeats.

I took hold of his hand, once he had all the information he needed, and squeezed it tightly, murmuring, “Thank you.”

A slow smile spread across his face as squeezed back, an acknowledging nod his response before he added,

“Tis just wha’ the lad needs, no?”

#outlander fanfic #Metamorphosis AU #chapter 24 #convalescence pt 1

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bee-kathony · 5 years

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The Oath | Ch. 28 “I’d pick you a thousand times”

a/n: thank you so so much for reading and commenting! This chapter has been a long time coming, but I’m so pleased with it so I hope you enjoy xx

Arc I | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 | Ch. 19 | Ch. 20 | Ch. 21 | Ch. 22 | Ch. 23 | Ch. 24 | Ch. 25 | Ch. 26 | Ch. 27

June 16th, 2020

A warm breeze blew through the open window of the second story at Lallybroch. It lifted a stray curl off of Claire’s shoulder, making her shiver. Glancing in the mirror, she was shocked at her appearance. Her makeup was light and natural, with a subtle shade of pink lipstick and eyeshadow to compliment her amber eyes. The curls that normally were untamable had decided to cooperate today, and were piled in a loose bun at the back of her head.

Claire was getting married today.

It would be a small affair, only forty people or so. The garden at Lallybroch had been decorated beautifully — twinkling lights hung from trees, a rock path towards the arch greenery she had helped cultivate over the past few months.

Murtgah had registered to become ordained and would be marrying them — he’d been practicing his lines all week. Jamie and Claire had written their own vows, vows that Claire had been writing for weeks.

Dabbing another swipe of blush across her cheek, Claire was satisfied with her makeup. She stood up from the dressing table, and walked over to the wardrobe, pulling out her dress. It was a cream colored satin with a low cut swooping back, a cinched waist with ten small buttons starting at her hips and short sleeves. The fit was elegant and showed off her best assets, highlighting her long legs as it just touched the ground when she wore her heels.

“Are ye ready to get into that?” Jenny asked from across the room. She laid Kitty down on bed and rose to help Claire.

“I suppose at some point I should,” Claire grinned and began to undo the few buttons at the waist. “I can’t believe I found this dress on the sale rack.”

“It’s beautiful,” Jenny commented. “But ye ken, Jamie would like ye in a potato sack!”

Laughing at the truth of Jenny’s statement, Claire dropped her robe, laying it on a chair nearby. The close fit of the dress and material made it nearly impossible to wear undergarments — which she was sure Jamie would have no problem with later.

Jenny held out the dress, and helped her step into it, pulling it up along her body. It fit like a glove, and Claire slid her arms into the sleeves, situating it. She waited for Jenny to close up the buttons in the back before walking over towards the mirror.

“I guess I couldn’t really wear white,” Claire commented and looked over at her nine month old daughter laying on the bed with her cousin. She smiled as she looked at her daughter, adorned with the cutest sand colored flower girl dress.

“Och, who cares if ye wear white or no’?” Jenny said as she straightened the sleeves of Claire’s dress. “Tis no’ like anyone here kens that ye havena had a bairn wi’ the man yer about to marry. White will wash ye out anyway,” Jenny grinned into the mirror.

“You’re right,” Claire commented, smoothing out her dress. Her hands were shaking slightly, the nerves creeping in.

“No’ gettin’ any cold feet are we now?” Jenny commented on her shaky hands.

“No,” Claire shook her head. “In fact, my feet are a bit sweaty.”

“I’ll go and turn down the AC, dinna fash,” Jenny said and left Claire on her own, making sure to shut the door — Jamie was somewhere in the house, getting ready as well.

++++++

“Taing Dhia for kilts,” Jamie said, wiping his brow. “They let in a nice wee breeze on yer bollocks.”

“I’ve never been more grateful to no’ be wearin’ any underwear,” Murtagh remarked, stretching himself out on the bed.

The men — Jamie, Murtagh, and Ian were gathered in one of the guest rooms on the bottom floor while Claire was upstairs in the Laird’s room. Jamie had barely slept last night, mainly because Claire and him had decided to stay in separate rooms the night before the wedding and also because he was so excited.

He could remember every detail about the night they had met at this very house almost a year and a half ago. The fuzzy sweater Claire had worn to match her fuzzy head of hair. The puff of breath as she stood out in the cold, her arms wrapped around herself to keep warm. Jamie had watched her for several minutes before deciding to say something. She had moved a curl behind her ear, and his fingers had twitched, wondering what that felt like.

From the moment he laid eyes on Claire Beauchamp, his heart belonged to her. Who knew it would take a one night stand, a baby and a lawsuit to finally be able to call her his wife?

“And yer new bride will be thankful for the lack of underwear as well,” Ian smirked, bumping him on the shoulder as he passed.

“Och, come on lads, tis no’ like I’m a virgin on my weddin’ day,” Jamie snorted and leaned back in his chair.

“We ken that much,” Murtagh said. “Ye’ve the sweetest bairn that came out of what ye and Claire did before ye were marrit.”

“Speakin’ of bairns, are ye and Claire goin’ to have any more of them? Young Jamie was just askin’ me the other day when he would get a new cousin,” Ian said.

“We havena talked in great lengths of havin’ another bairn, but Claire and I want another for sure. We just have to make it past our weddin’ day before we decide anythin’ else,” Jamie replied.

Jamie rose and walked over to pour himself a dram, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. Only thirty more minutes before the ceremony began — thirty more minutes that felt like eternity.

“If ye’ll excuse me lads,” Jamie downed his drink. “I’m just goin’ to the bathroom so I dinna wet myself up at the front.”

“Hurry back,” Murtagh said in a sing song voice.

Chuckling to himself, Jamie walked out of the room, but instead of going to the bathroom, he made his way up the stairs and towards the Laird’s room. He could hear Jenny talking inside and then footsteps approached the door. He jumped out of the way and hid around the corner, hearing Jenny tell Claire she would be right back.

Once Jenny was out of sight, Jamie knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Claire said and Jamie opened the door.

“Jamie!” Claire gasped. “What are you doing in here? It’s bad luck!”

“My eyes are closed, Sassenach!” Jamie said, covering his eyes with his hand for extra precaution. “I just came to talk to ye for a minute.”

He couldn’t see her, but he reached out his hand for her and gently, her fingers slid into his hand.

“Is Madeline in here?” Jamie asked.

“Yes she’s on the bed with Kitty, and thankfully she hasn’t seen you yet.”

“I’ll be quick, I promise, Sassenach,” Jamie said.

“Turn around,” Claire said. “I don’t want to take any chances.”

“Alright,” he grinned and did as she said, still holding onto her hand.

“Well,” Claire gripped his hand. “What did you have to say to me that couldn’t wait until after we were married? You’re not coming in to tell me you’ve fallen in love with another woman are you?”

“God no, a nighean,” he squeezed her fingers. “My heart is already owned by two bonnie lasses. It’s me that should be concerned about ye catchin’ the attention of another man and runnin’ away wi’ him. Ye look beautiful, Claire.”

“I thought you had your eyes closed!” Claire squeaked.

“I did!” Jamie said. “I didna see ye I swear it, but I just ken that ye look beautiful in yer dress. Any man would be lucky to have ye, and so I suppose what I’m tryin’ to say here is that I’m grateful for ye pickin’ me.”

“Oh, Jamie,” Claire rubbed his hand with her thumb. “I’d pick you a thousand times.”

“I also just wanted to come and talk to ye about our parents,” Jamie said softly. He could hear Claire’s intake of breath, and his own heart was clenched, remembering that they couldn’t be here today.

“I ken that we both want nothin’ more for our Mam’s and Da’s to be here wi’ us today, and for yer Da to walk ye down the aisle. For yer Mam to give ye somethin’ blue or somethin’ borrowed. I wish my parents were here to see Madeline,” he sniffed, a tear falling down his cheek. “I wish more than anything that she had her grandparents here so they could spoil her rotten and love her more than they love us.”

“I want that too, Jamie,” Claire said through what sounded like tears of her own.

“They are here wi’ us, Sassenach. I can feel them, can’t ye?” He asked her.

“I can,” she squeezed his hand. “I want to kiss you very badly right now.”

“Will a hug do?” He asked. “I promise to keep my eyes closed the whole time.”

Claire let go of his hand then, and he could tell she was standing in front of him. All it would take would be to open his eye slightly and he could see her, but for Claire’s sake he kept them closed. Both her arms wrapped around his waist, and her head pressed against his chest. They both sighed, sharing in each other’s pain and heartache. Sometimes the happiest days were also the hardest.

“You should leave before Jenny comes back,” Claire said as she released him. “Besides, it won’t be long now before I walk down the aisle.”

“The last thing I need is Jenny twisting my arm,” Jamie chuckled. Claire placed her hand on his lower back and helped to guide him out of the room.

“I’ll see you soon, my love,” she said.

“I’ll see ye soon, mo chridhe,” Jamie grinned and turned around, waiting for the sound of the door closing.

As he started walking down the hallway, Jenny came from the other direction, her eyes squinted, staring at him.

“Where did ye just come from, James Fraser?” She pointed a finger at him. “I ken it wasna Claire’s room because that’s bad luck before a weddin’.”

“I kept my eyes closed the whole time, Janet,” Jamie laughed and then Jenny took hold of his earlobe between her fingers.

“Ye rascal, ye leave that girl alone! Ye’ll have her all to yerself for the next week. Let her dress in peace,” she scolded him. Then she let go of his ear and fluffed up his hair, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I’m happy that ye couldna wait to see her, Jamie, but ye better not have peeked at the dress or I’ll have yer throat.”

“I didna!” He held up both hands. “Now, if ye’ll excuse me, I best be gettin’ back to my own room.” Jamie kissed his sister on the cheek, avoiding her swatting hands and made his way back to his own room.

“That was the longest piss break,” Murtagh said as soon as he came back into the room. “Did ye fall in?”

“Oh, shut it ye old clot,” Jamie smirked. He glanced at the clock, ten minutes to go. “I suppose I should be puttin’ on my boots now and makin’ my way to the alter.”

“If ye want to get marrit, then aye ye should,” Ian laughed.

Jamie was supposed to carry Madeline down the aisle, but she was still in the room with Claire and Jenny.

“Ian, can ye go find yer wife and tell her I need Madeline and that we’re about to head outside?” Jamie asked.

“Aye, I’ll be back,” Ian dashed out of the room.

Murtagh finally sat up from the bed and walked over to Jamie, straightening his tie. “Yer parents would be proud of ye, Jamie. Not just of the beautiful bride and child ye have, but of the success of the business as well.”

“Thank ye, Murtagh,” Jamie smiled. “It means a lot comin’ from ye.”

“Dinna thank me just yet,” the older man smirked. “There’s still time for me to mess up my part of the weddin’.”

“Ye’ve only a few lines,” Jamie shook his head. “Try no’ to mess it up for Claire’s sake.”

“Och, nah. I’d do anything for the lass,” Murtagh said. “Now, let’s go and get ye properly hitched.”

The two men walked out into the hallway and were met by Ian who was holding Madeline and Kitty in his arms. Maggie and Young Jamie were with Geillis in the living room, trying to keep entertained while they waited. Maggie would walk down with Kitty as flower girls while Jamie carried Mads seeing as how she still wasn’t able to walk yet.

“Give me my pretty lass,” Jamie held out his hands for Madeline, taking the smiling child. “Ye look so beautiful a leannan.”

“Daghsshg,” Madeline blubbered.

“That sounded like Da to me,” Jamie kissed her nose. “Let’s go marry yer mam.”

++++++

Everything had gone smoothly so far. The children had managed to walk down the aisle without falling, and Madeline hadn’t fussed while Jamie carried her. At least that’s what Geillis told Claire as they waited for their cue. Geillis was Claire’s made of honor, and Jenny another bridesmaid.

“I think tis yer turn, Jenny,” Geillis said and Jenny walked out of the house, towards the garden area.

“I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” Claire smiled.

“I canna either. Ye two have been through hell, but ye made it out the other side,” her friend hugged her, trying not to cry.

“Who knows, maybe you and Lily are next!” Claire grinned.

“Who knows,” Geillis winked and then turned for her cue to walk outside.

Claire took several deep breaths, and gripped the bouquet of forget-me-nots tightly. A man cleared his throat beside her and she looked over to see her Uncle Lamb. He told her that he couldn’t make it, due to being in quarantine after getting sick while on an excavation in Egypt. She hadn’t seen him in over two years.

“Lamb!” Claire shouted and threw her arms around his neck. He grabbed her, holding her close.

“My Claire,” he smiled, lifting her off the ground. “I wouldn’t miss this day for the world, and for the chance to meet my great niece.”

“I thought you couldn’t come! I thought you were still sick and recovering?” Claire said, looking him over. He looked a little pale and a light sheen of sweat was on his forehead, but that could have been the heat outside.

“I was released from quarantine two months ago, but still laid up in the hospital. I didna want to get your hopes up my dear and tell you I could come when I wasn’t too sure,” he said. “It was touch and go there, but I’m here now and I’m going to walk you down the aisle.”

“I love you Lamb,” Claire hugged him. “I can’t wait for you to meet Madeline, and Jamie!”

“Well, it will be happening pretty soon, looks like its our turn,” Lamb took her arm, looping it through his. If Claire couldn’t have her father walk her down the aisle, she was perfectly happy with her favorite uncle in the whole world.

The garden was beautiful, and as Claire and Lamb walked outside and towards the garden, she felt tears spring to her eyes already. Every step towards Jamie was a step closer toward her future. As they turned the corner, she saw him — Fraser kilt on and everything.

He took her breath away, and she focused on his beaming face as she approached the alter Claire was gripping Lamb’s arm so tight that he winced and she laughed, letting go a bit. Looking over to her left, she saw Madeline in Geillis’ arms, smiling and waving at her.

“Hi little miss,” Claire smiled at her daughter before turning her attention back to Jamie.

“Sassenach,” Jamie said, his voice strained as if he’d been crying.

“This is my Uncle Lamb,” Claire said proudly as her uncle handed Jamie Claire’s arm.

“Tis a pleasure to meet ye sir, I’m sure we’ll have a chance to catch up later, but now,” he looked at Claire. “I’d like to marry yer niece.”

“She’s all yours,” Lamb grinned and kissed Claire’s cheek before finding his seat up front.

“Ye may be seated,” Murtagh said from the front. “Today, we are gathered to witness the union — finally — of Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp and James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser,” he said. “Ye’ve a lot of names lad.”

Everyone laughed and then Murtagh continued with the ceremony. A moment later it came time for their vows and Geillis handed Claire her vows and Ian handed Jamie his vows.

“Jamie,” Clarie read, glancing from her paper to Jamie and smiled. “Our life so far has been complicated. Beyond complicated, but that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been worth it. Every second with you is not enough and I pray to God that I can have an infinite amount of seconds to spend with you. You make me laugh, smile, cry and happier than I could have ever imagined.” Claire sniffed and wiped her nose. Jamie was gripping her free hand so tightly it was fit to fall off.

“Not only have you made me the happiest woman on earth, but you’ve given me the greatest gift on earth — our daughter, Madeline. She was unexpected,” Claire laughed and someone in the crowd whistled. “But she is everything to me now and I couldn’t picture my life without her, or without you. I love you so much, Jamie Fraser.”

“I love ye, Claire,” Jamie smiled. “Och, my turn.”

Jamie cleared his throat and looked down at his paper and then looked at Claire with such devotion.

“Sassenach, mo chridhe, mo nighean donn, Claire,” he said softly. “I love that ye get cold when it’s twenty-one degrees outside. I love that it takes ye an hour to order a sandwich. I love that ye get a wee crinkle above yer nose when yer lookin’ at me like I’m a loon. I love that when I hug ye, I can still smell yer perfume on my clothes later that night. Yer the last person I want to talk to when I go to sleep and the first person I want to kiss when I wake up,” Jamie said. He’d written his vows weeks ago, but memorized every word.

“Things havena always been easy or perfect, but life isna perfect. It’s messy, and tis goin’ to have roadblocks, but there’s nobody else I would rather face those roadblocks wi’ than ye, Sassenach. Ye truly are blood of my blood and bone of my bone and I’ll love ye until my very last breath,” Jamie smiled and squeezed both of Claire’s hands.

“Beautiful,” Murtagh smiled. “We’ll now have the exchanging of the rings.”

Young Jamie came forward and held out a small wooden box that contained both of their rings.

“Thank ye lad,” Jamie grinned down at his namesake. He then took Claire’s wedding band and held it on her left ring finger and repeated after Murtagh. Jamie then slipped the ring on to Claire’s hand and Claire followed the same steps.

“It is by the power vested in me by the internet,” Murtagh grinned. “I now pronounce ye husband and wife. Ye may kiss yer bride!”

Cheers went up all around them, but all Claire focused on was Jamie. He cupped her cheeks, pulling her close to him and kissed her deeply. Slowly, he bent her over backwards, making the cheering sound louder.

++++++

The garden was transformed into a dance floor, and after Jamie and Claire had said their thanks for everyone coming to celebrate with them, Jamie took his new bride out for their first dance.

“If I havena said it already, ye look beautiful, Sassenach,” Jamie kissed her.

“Thank you,” she grinned. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

The song You Make Me Feel So Young by Frank Sinatra came over the speakers.

“May I have this dance milady?” Jamie asked.

“You may,” Claire grinned, taking his hand and resting her other on his shoulder.

You make me feel so young You make me feel as though spring has sprung And every time I see you grin I'm such a happy individual

Jamie spun his wife around, twirling her and then wrapped his arms around her, singing along to the song.

The moment that you speak I wanna go play hide and seek I wanna go and bounce the moon Just like a toy balloon You and I are just like a couple of tots Runnin' across the meadow Pickin' up lots of forget me nots

“Jamie and Claire would now ask that everyone who’s in love or every has been would come and join them on the dance floor,” their DJ said into the mic.

Jenny came over to them in the middle of the dance floor, carrying Madeline and handed her to Jamie.

“Now, I’ve got my best lasses. All is right in the world,” he kissed Madeline’s cheek.

Claire placed her hand on Madeline’s back and together they swayed to the music as a family. Laughing as Madeline clapped her hands together, Claire had never felt so happy in all her life.

“Sassenach,” Jamie grinned. “Ye werena the first lass I kissed, but I swear ye’ll be the last.”

He bent his head to kiss her, but then at the last second turned and placed a sloppy wet kiss on Madeline’s cheek.

“She’s the only other girl I’ll let you kiss,” Claire laughed and then cupped his cheek. “Now kiss me, husband.”

Chapter 29: Santorini

#the oath #outlander fanfic #jamie x claire #chapter 28 #i'd pick you a thousand times #outlander #outlander fanfiction

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virgo-89 · 5 years

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Kiyôtêw (Ch 8)

Main Characters: Jane (OFC) x Declan Harp

Other characters: Outlander & Frontier Characters

Summary: Life is a balance of extraordinary things and ordinary. Jane is about to be thrown into territory that she is not familiar with. How will she manage the ordinary and mundane after all the excitement she has had up till now.

Ratings & Warning: Mature language and sexual content

CH 7. Iýinito

word count: 8700+

*****2 and half months later-Fort James***** I could hear cannon and musket fire and could smell fresh-turned dirt and smoke. I found myself face down on the ground. I didn’t remember how I got here. I rolled over coughing from the smoke and dirt in my lungs. Every muscle was aching like I had been in a car accident. I sat up and checked for any bruising to ensure that there was no internal bleeding. I looked around and I saw red coats and men in blue uniforms fighting. I was so confused; how did I get to the Americas? I stood up slowly and looked around. I saw a mountain range and I knew I was near Frasers Ridge. I didn’t know how I had gotten back but I saw Claire tending to someone that was down. I ran to her. “Mom what’s happening how did I get here!?” I yelled over all the noise. She didn’t turn to talk to me I grabbed her shoulder and shook it. Still no response. I looked down at who she was trying to revive, and my heart dropped into my stomach. It was Jamie. “no!” I screamed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I touched his face and it was cold, eyes cloudy and matte pupils, he was gone. I looked around and I saw Murtagh, Roger, Bree all dead. The world started to spin, and I couldn’t breathe. I looked around frantically for Declan. Where was he? “Jane!” I heard Declan’s voice from a distance. I looked around but couldn’t find him. “Declan!” I yelled for him still looking around for him.

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#Declan Harp #frontier #frontier fandom #frontier fan fiction #frontier fan fic #outlander X frontier #Outlander #outlander fandom #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #Jason Momoa #fanfiction #ao3

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whiskynottea · 6 years

Text

Not Yet

For Gotham’s Writing Workshop, Week 19

This started as a one-shot on depression, but I feel drawn to this universe and decided to continue it.

Your beautiful responses to this story mean the world to me. Truly, thank you.

On AO3, under the title Death Dreams.

Previously Help Me. Wide Awake

source

Claire walked into their bedroom, purse in hand, to find Jamie sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out of the window.

“Ready, love?” she asked in a quiet voice, moving to sit next to him. Her hand found his, lying rigid on his thigh, and she intertwined her fingers with his long ones.

This used to happen instantly, before. He used to reach for her.

Claire pushed the thoughts away and pressed herself closer to his side, placing a soft kiss on his freshly shaved cheek.

She hadn’t seen him shaved in weeks.

Jamie didn’t move. “Do you want to cancel it? We can tell them I had an emergency at the hospital and we can’t make it.”

“No, Sassenach.” Jamie took his eyes from the sky’s endless blue to find the grounding, earthly brown of her irises. He exhaled loudly, the air that left his lungs swirling around her curls. “I’m ready,” he announced, and a strained smile appeared on his lips. Claire nodded and kissed his effort, as they both braced themselves for the day.

It was the first family meal since Jamie was diagnosed with depression. Jenny, Ian and Murtagh knew about it already - it was impossible not to know, with Jamie’s change over the past months. The rest of the family though, didn’t. Claire had spent more than an hour on the phone sharing helpful information with Jenny so that they could all help Jamie once he got there. The two of them wavered between telling everyone about the new situation beforehand, or letting the day roll naturally, as it would. At last, they decided that it might be better for Jamie if he didn’t feel all eyes fixed on him and checking every reaction, everybody focusing on what he’d say and how he’d move.

Claire had told him -- repeatedly -- that he had nothing to prove. Up until that moment, they were just the two of them. They fought together, side by side. Claire came to know that all it needed was one wrong word or gesture, and the feelings of uselessness would come back, stronger than before. Jamie would withdraw or get angry in a matter of seconds. The medication didn’t help much on that matter, making him be easily irritated, but Claire hadn’t mentioned that to Jenny. She had -- stupidly -- felt that she’d betray him if she told Jenny about Jamie’s outbursts. He’d chosen to share his struggles with her, and only her.

It might be a good day, anyway. He might find some peace in the Highlands, among those who loved him.

Now, sitting next to him on the bed, seeing him freshly shaved and dressed in something different than his favorite sweatpants, Claire knew that he wanted to make this right.

Jamie’s mood got better while driving North, the Scottish landscape he loved flooding his senses; the hills, the lochs, the meadows. Freedom. Claire felt guilty of not being able to take some days off before, just to drive away from the city. It was never easy for her to leave the hospital, but with all responsibilities falling on her shoulders during the last months it became almost impossible.

Her heart fluttered in her chest when she heard Jamie murmuring the lyrics of the song playing on the radio. She sang along, timidly and without looking at him, not to add any pressure on him to continue for her sake.

And he continued. For his sake.

Further on during their trip, Jamie grasped her hand as it lay on the gear stick, keeping his strong fingers between hers for the rest of their journey.

It was a good day.

Their arrival at Lallybroch filled both their hearts with love.

Jamie got finally pulled into a tight hug from his sister -- who kept all tell-tale tears well hidden inside, talked about football with his best friend -- who never mentioned any recently played game because he knew Jamie had missed them all and played with his nephew -- who had no idea of the monster eating his uncle’s soul as he run around the yard with Jamie on his heeld, chasing him.

It was a great day.

Claire felt herself relax in the parlor’s armchair, her gaze fixed on the bookshelf across from her. Closing her eyes, she could almost see Jamie smiling as he talked to her about his love for literature, back on that first day he’d brought her to Lallybroch.

She shouldn’t be ungrateful. She had seen his smile today, more times than in the whole last month.

It was one of the best days.

Murtagh, Angus and Rupert arrived at the manor house soon after Jamie and Claire. Claire tensed hearing their voices and walked outside the parlor, praying that everything would be alright. She heard Rupert’s laughter and her eyes searched for Jamie, sudden anxiety straining her breathing. Jamie was there, between family. He wasn’t laughing, but he was part of the conversation, with lips curled up.

Relief.

Dougal, Colum, Letitia and Glenna arrived an hour later, just before lunch.

Everybody sat around the heavy Sheesham wood dining table, the big house alive with boisterous laughter and loud voices.

Claire had missed the vivacity of their house in Edinburgh, as it was before. When she used to go home from work to find Jamie cooking with loud music, singing off tone. She missed that; she missed him. Now their house was always quiet and Jamie was usually sleeping - no matter the hour. The doctor said they might need to change the medication if he continued sleeping for so many hours.

But she shouldn't complain. He was fighting. He still did yoga with her, although on certain days Claire needed to practice her persuasion skills much more to get him on the mat. He stopped keeping a safe distance from his desk, as if it would attack him, and started writing his thoughts. With every letter pressed on the keyboard, the fears became fainter, losing their power over him. He still couldn’t write stories, but he stopped demonizing his laptop. He was getting better.

It was while eating Jenny’s raspberry cranachan that Dougal mentioned Jamie’s quietness and asked him what he was currently writing.

“Nothing, at the moment,” Jamie replied, slightly shrinking in his chair.

No one noticed. No one, apart from Claire, who wished he’d sit next to her and not across the table. Damn you, Jenny with your savoir vivre. She saw the attack of worthlessness coming with force, and she felt chained in her chair, unable to prevent it. Unable to stand between Jamie and the monster.

“Ye shouldna get cocky because yer a published author, Jamie,” Dougal continued. “Men get their arses to work. As if being a writer isna enough, now ye dinna even do that.”

“Jamie knows better than you and me when it’s time to write, Dougal.” Claire’s voice was sharper than normal, but there was nothing that could be done to change it.

“Do ye think so, lass?” Dougal raised his eyebrows, challenging her. “Do ye think his parents would be proud of him, staying at home all day long wi’ a lass feeding him?”

Claire closed her eyes, afraid to see the effect of Dougal’s words on Jamie. It was only a moment before she opened them again and searched for his blue stare in panic. Jamie was pale, eyes fixed on the white tablecloth, avoiding everyone. She’d lost him. She shouldn’t close her eyes, she should never leave doubt creep between them.

“Ye’re right, uncle,” Jamie said and rose slowly, leaving the table and heading to the front door with big strides.

Everybody stood stunned around the table, their breaths the only sound that could be heard in the large dining room. Claire tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat and looked at Jenny, only to find wide dark brown eyes full of fear.

“What’s wrong wi’ the lad?” Glenna broke the silence with a frown curved on her face.

“Jamie suffers from depression,” Claire announced, pushing her chair back to go find him.

“He does?” Dougal asked. “Go tell the lad to cheer up, Claire,” he suggested shaking his head in disapproval, but Claire had no time to tell him to put his ignorance up his arse. She left it to Jenny, who -- once she found her composure again -- started on a speech about depression and the seriousness of the disease. She had memorized everything Claire had sent her to read.

Claire found Jamie in Jenny’s herb garden.

“Love,” she whispered and the wind mingled her voice with the scent of lavender and rosemary, making it soft and ethereal.

Jamie shook his head, silently pushing her away. He didn’t want her there.

‘Not again. Not because of Dougal’, Claire thought.

“He has no idea, Jamie. All the things he said…” Claire felt her anger rising. “This is utter bullshit.”

“No it’s not. There is no reason for ye to stay with me, Claire,” he said, resigned, his unwavering cold voice scaring her.

“What are you talking about?”

“I give ye nothing.”

“So is this what you think? That I married you for your money? For your name? For your career?” Claire grabbed him but both arms, to make him look at her.

“It’s not only the money. I have nothing to give ye, Claire. I’m empty.”

“Listen to me, Jamie Fraser. You have given me the world, and you’re more than I will ever need. I love you.” Her voice rose in despair, her eyes wild, trying to make him see the truth.

“I don’t deserve your love,” he said, escaping her hands.

“Don’t you dare take yourself away from me, Jamie. DON’T YOU DARE!” Claire shouted, breaking into tears, her hands desperately grasping the fabric of his shirt, trying to bring him back to her.

Jamie turned around, surprised at her outburst. He enfolded her in his arms and held her as tight as he could, providing her with the only thing he still had.

He loved her, more than anything else. But that didn’t make him enough.

Two arms were never enough to keep a person happy.

There would come a time, when Jamie would believe in his heart again. When he would fight the despair, making all days good days.

But this time hadn’t come.

Not yet.

Next Chapter

#not yet #death dreams #depression au #gotham's writing workshop #jamie x claire #modern au #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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mibasiamille · 7 years

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Aside from Claire and Jamie, which relationships do you like in the books? Romantic or non romantic

At first glance, I thought you meant in books other than Outlander and I was like “oh no, now I have to remember every book I’ve ever read”, which I tried to do, and I realize that this is the first series of books I’ve ever read that’s for adults. Kinda sad to think about as I am almost nineteen…

But anyway, thanks for such a great question, anon!

In Outlander, I really like the relationship between Claire and Geillis. Although Claire is skeptical of her from time to time, their girly bond is wonderful to read about. Plus I have a soft spot for Geillis (especially in the show; Lotte Verbeek does a really great job portraying her character).

In Dragonfly in Amber, I love Mary and Claire’s relationship. I see Claire kind of like Mary’s mentor in a way, and it makes me really happy. I also love the Mary x Alex romantic subplot, too. Although Alex is a Randall, I wish he could’ve lived and he that he could’ve made Mary happy.

Also in Dragonfly, I really love the Bonnie Prince Charlie x Jamie relationship. I feel like he has a total crush on him and it’s hilarious. Cheré James. (Never forget the ghostly voice coming from the roof: Jaaaaaaaames!)

Here’s a compiled list of all of my relationships, sort-of ranked, based on all that I’ve read so far (Outlander to Ch. 27 of Voyager):

1. Claire x Jamie: duh

2. Murtagh x Jamie: I cannot articulate into words how much their relationship means to me. It hurt me when Murtagh didn’t survive Culloden. He was like Jamie’s guardian angel, and I guess still is in a way. Also, he was the biggest Claire x Jamie shipper there was and there is no way you can convince me otherwise.

3. Fergus x Claire x Jamie: I love the dynamic between the three of them, more so in the show than in the book, but nevertheless I love their bond as a trio. I think it comes more to fruition in Voyager, but I will always have a soft spot for baby Fergus.

4. Roger x Claire: I really fucking love Roger, guys. Like… so much. And I truly enjoy reading about Claire from his perspective, because most of Voyager is either from Claire’s POV or Jamie thinking about how great Claire is. I just love how he describes her.

“It was Roger who found her in the morning, curled up on the study sofa under the hearthrug, papers scattered carelessly over the floor where they had spilled from one of the folders.The light from the floor-length windows streamed in, flooding the study, but the high back of the sofa had shaded Claire’s face and prevented the dawn from waking her. The light was just now pouring over the curve of dusty velvet to flicker among the strands of her hair.A glass face in more ways than one, Roger thought, looking at her. Her skin was so fair that the blue veins showed through at temple and throat, and the sharp, clear bones were so close beneath that she might have been carved of ivory.The rug had slipped half off, exposing her shoulders. One arm lay relaxed across her chest, trapping a single, crumpled sheet of paper against her body. Roger lifted her arm carefully, to pull the paper loose without waking her. She was limp with sleep, her flesh surprisingly warm and smooth in his grasp.His eyes found the name at once; he had known she must have found it.“James MacKenzie Fraser,” he murmured. He looked up from the paper to the sleeping woman on the sofa. The light had just touched the curve of her ear; she stirred briefly and turned her head, then her face lapsed back into somnolence.“I don’t know who you were, mate,” he whispered to the unseen Scot, “but you must have been something, to deserve her.

5. Frank x Claire (pre-stones): I really love the first couple of chapters of Outlander. I re-read them a little bit ago between chapters of Dragonfly where I couldn’t stand to read what was going on, and the whole experience was super bitter-sweet. They were so adorable together before, and the way their relationship changes later on makes the first chapters even more sad.

5. Ian x Jamie: there’s a quote from Dragonfly that made me cry after reading it. I don’t know why, but it did. I’ll leave it here, and that will describe in its entirety why I love their friendship:

“He’s only a year older than me. When I was growing, he was always there. Until I was fourteen, there wasna a day went by when I didna see Ian. And even later, after I’d gone to foster wi’ Dougal, and to Leoch, and then later still to Paris, to university–when I’d come back, I’d walk round a corner and there he would be, and it would be like I’d never left. He’d just smile when he saw me, like he always did, and then we’d be walkin’ away together, side by side, ower the fields and the streams, talkin’ of everything.” He sighed deeply, and rubbed a hand through his hair. “Ian … he’s the part of me that belongs here, that never left,” he said, struggling to explain. “I thought … I must tell him; I didna want to feel … apart. From Ian. From here.”

6. Jenny x Jamie: Damn those stubborn Frasers. I love their sibling bond, it’s so great.

7. Brianna x Roger: The early stages of their budding romance makes me smile, they’re so cute together. (Although his infatuation with Claire makes this relationship seem a bit weird to me, but it’s fine.)

8. Master Raymond x Claire: All the scenes in Dragonfly with Master Raymond are hands down my favorite (hence why I added one in my own fanfic). The healing scene is probably my favorite in all of DiA. Plus, their auras are blue, and so is mine (!!!), so that makes me feel connected to them somehow.

9. God x Claire: Ok, so hear me out for this last one.There are two different times Claire talks to God in the series so far: the first is in the Abbey in France, and the second is the chapel in Boston. Both times, she is thinking about Jamie and faith and how all of that ties together. The time she spends with Anslem in Outlander is my favorite in the whole book. I had to include this as a relationship in this list because it really had a lasting effect on me. Plus, I feel it ties in with some themes of the series so far: faith and mercy (applicable to all of the books, but mostly Dragonfly).

“At last, as usually happened here, I ceased to think. Whether it was the stoppage of time in the presence of eternity, or only the overtaking of a bone-deep fatigue, I didn’t know. But the guilt over Frank eased, the wrenching grief for Jamie lessened, and even the constant tug of motherhood upon my emotions receded to the level of background noise, no louder than the slow beating of my own heart, regular and comforting in the dark peace of the chapel. “O Lord,” I whispered, “I commend to Your mercy the soul of Your servant James.” And mine, I added silently. And mine.”

Of course, there are more, but these are the only ones I can really think of right now. What relationships are your favorites? Share your thoughts! ✨

#replies #thank you for such a lovely question anon!!#book thoughts

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