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weaver-z · 1 year

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Trans women will write a silly little comic about a trans gal in King Arthur's court and then wallop you over the head with emotion when you least expect it

#calogrenant #old internet trans representation is something ELSE

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gellavonhamster · 11 months

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reading the post-vulgate, part 2 (the quest for the holy grail)

Lancelot describing Galahad as "strangely beautiful" makes me imagine Galahad was the kind of child who looks angelic but says the most cryptic shit

I love misinterpreting chapter titles on purpose

like, oh no, what happened, were they such bad guests?

Tristan's horse is called BASTARD

I gotta be honest, I'm just skimming some parts because they largely repeat the Grail Quest in the Vulgate, and I'm not interested in the Grail Quest enough to read it for the second time in a row

but at least this one has Palamedes. Everything is better with Palamedes

Calogrenant's death is fascinating - his body bleeds milk instead of blood, and from this milk some sort of medicinal/poisonous herbs grow

Guinevere wearing a crown of thorns in Lancelot's dream. Hmm.

“Whatever [Mordred] may be,” said Gawain, “he’s our brother, and we must love him, however much others hate him.” 💔💔💔

Agravaine tells Gawain that either Lancelot or Eric is fated to kill him, and Gawain immediately goes "oh, that certainly can't be Lancelot, he'd risk his life for me"... god

the story of the conception and family of Arthur the Less is some dark shit

Arthur and Morgan parted on worst possible terms and yet he asks her for information about his son and she actually provides it

you can always count on Palamedes for Pining and Yearning and Longing

"Galahad went off across the forest, glad to escape from Tristan’s company" relatable

love that Tristan and Palamedes are never, never normal about each other

"the More Than Good Knight" is such a funny title

very interesting that in this version Perceval's virtuous, self-sacrificial sister who takes part in the Grail quest also concocts a plan to have Gawain killed for the murder of her relatives

did NOT have King Mark trying to invade Logres on my bingo card for this

"When Kay heard this, he could not help saying, “Sir knight, I’m King Arthur’s man, and I’m so much his that I would be disloyal if I didn’t avenge him on all his enemies with all my strength. For love of him I say to you that you have no greater enemy in the world than I." 💔

"Lancelot’s luxurious lifestyle" is sending me

Palamedes <3

points were made!

Esclabor killing himself after the death of his son and ordering his squire to write the letters on his son's tombstone with his blood... insane insane insane

this must be the most incest-heavy version of Arthuriana I've read so far? Nothing prepared me for the origins of the Questing Beast

#it appears i find the grail quest a bit more digestible when it's not just galahad & bors & perceval being pious #anyway palamedes guy of all time #arthurian legends #arthuriana #gella talks arthuriana #talk talk talk #galahad #tristan #palamedes #gawain #lancelot du lac #calogrenant #esclabor #kay

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missterwild · 3 months

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Donc, j’ai fait des fanarts Kaamelott (pour une raison ou un autre)

Anyway, enjoy

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kaantt · 9 months

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Kaamelott incorrect quotes:

Calogrenant : The best part of an Oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part, deal with it.

Bohort : Darkness without light is an abyss, light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Galessin : Yo Socrates! It's a fucking COOKIE!

#kaamelott #calogrenant #galessin #bohort

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cypriathus · 18 days

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Here is my version of Sir Calogrenant!

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: There is a brief mention of death during childbirth.

Kaloghrentius Äglovetrud L’Eyschatonur is the notorious, honourable, taciturn, and somewhat oblivious Sanguine Knight who has an acrid, raunchy, and cheeky tongue. Despite his foul mouth, he’s unfailingly polite and good-mannered, often expressing himself in a thoughtful way. He’s quite respectful, but it becomes an immediate loss when someone treats him rudely or harms his daughter, niece, and/or two nephews. He’s abnormally passionate about his line of work and ruthless when it comes to battling and people who provoke his fury. He uses his language in an eloquent and seductive fashion, and possesses an unwavering dedication to justice and vengeance. He has a willingness to defend the weak and oppressed, and he’s always up for a good challenge and a bloody, yet fair fight. He’s self-sacrificing, energetic, and fearsome, but occasionally experiences melancholic thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, and inferiority. There are instances where he comes off as arrogant, blunt, and snobbish, but that’s only directed towards low-ranking demons and irredeemable people. He can be easily distracted by the kindness of others and adorable things that remind him of his daughter. Despite his valiant nature, Kaloghrentius is unfortunately known for his impulsiveness, hot-headedness, and sadistic attitude.

Kaloghrentius is a 11’ 3” (342.9 cm) endomorph with mildly tan skin, a rectangular figure, some muscle, and a beer belly. He has sparkling heterochromia eyes–right is fountain blue and the left is mule fawn–with slit pupils of old gold. He has six scars on his face: a blotchy scar on the right side of his jawline; one that covers his entire left cheek and reaches to the underside of his ear; a horizontal one across the middle of his face; and three diagonal scratches on his forehead. His shoulder-length, side-parted red brown hair is accompanied with messy curls, sideburns, and a scruffy Balbo beard.

He dons a full suit of plate armour drenched in blood and a royal mantle of black with snow leopard trim. The mantle is decorated in a khokhloma pattern with blue snowflakes, bright red roses, green fish, and a golden firebird in the centre. He wears a Russian boyar helmet flanked with a stylised wolf’s head in rose gold and tipped with two ostrich plumes. His cuirass depicts a ruddy kingfisher that has a long-haired woman’s head and his shoulder pads are chamois buck skulls with golden horns. Kaloghrentius possesses two shields with one of them serving as a backup: a red shield with a golden insignia depicting a coiled serpent devouring a naked man; and a pink shield with an angry white lion that has red claws on a crusily field. He wields a long-handled peasant flail that can create lakes, wildfires, tornadoes, and blizzards with a single strike. He also wields a parashu of wootz steel and a strong leather grip that enhances one’s military expertise.

He looks relatively the same when in his infernal form, but he doesn’t wear any clothes and has some noticeable physical changes. He’s 14’ 7” (444.5 cm) with a twisted head that’s blinded by bloody tears and scaly Prussian blue skin. He has the lower half of an eight-legged dun Priob horse with a dorsal stripe and zebra bars on the legs. He has four grotesquely muscular arms, massive rooster wings, and praying mantis forelegs in the middle of the Priob horse. A gnarly, cerulean-eyed, serpent-tongued wolf head adorns his abdomen and a horned viper is wrapped around his neck. Kaloghrentius’ golden-clawed fingers are slender and elongated, and his tail is reminiscent of a smoothhound.

Kaloghrentius has fantastic offensive and defensive combat skills that are far superior to most mortal and immortal beings. His combat encompasses incredible and efficient speed, strength, precision, reflexes, blade techniques, warfare and one-to-one battle analysis, bodily control, adaptation, and all aspects of practical fighting. His landscape-shattering strength waxes and wanes with the Sun, and he can summon storms and manipulate spring water and hallucinations. He’s able to heal severe wounds and change his size to match with the tallest tree known to humanity if he pleased. He can generate heat from his hands and suppress his physical need for sleep for an entire month. He has instincts to kill knightly enemies, infernal adversaries, and those who harm his daughter in the most effective ways possible. He has psychokinesis and heightened senses, and he can serpents, lion carcasses, and countries he’s familiar with to teleport. Kaloghrentius is a master of botany, geology, hunting, fishing, combat, seduction, and inducing sexual gratification and satisfaction.

FAMILY:

Unnamed giant murderer demon father

Unnamed sorcerer demon mother

Melothardius Bertolakhius Haludozert (adoptive older brother)

Pelmazodius Malwegrontius-Ulfebhorga Culwodrena (nephew)

Gwalchemozius Vortaghenius (daughter)

Gwalchevodius D’Balenomius (granddaughter)

ALIASES/NICKNAMES:

Sanguine Knight

The Great Fool

King of the White Mountain

FUN FACTS/EXTRA INFORMATION:

As an Æylphitus, the different parts of his name have special meanings: Kaloghrentius means “rejoicing grumbler”, Äglovetrud means “trap of a valley’s strength”, and L’Eyschatonur means “north shine”.

During his younger years, he had a foolish and talkative mindset, but would later abandon it for a more chivalrous and quiet attitude.

He despises Melothardius

After he went his separate ways with his brother, he decided to live in Russia because he found their language to be humorously endearing.

He lives in a castle of icy fire, solar rocks, and underworld stone at the base of a snowy mountain deep in the heart of Russia, which has an eclectic melding of Byzantine elements and pre-Petrine architecture. Not only is it his home, it’s used as a boundary between Nifjazroghetus and the earthly plane of existence.

He has a habit of grumbling to himself, especially when he’s feeling bitter and angry.

He likes to brag about how he managed to seduce Gwalchemozius’ mother in a light-hearted, yet crude manner. He often cites that she experienced the most divine moment in her entire life before her untimely death during childbirth.

He loves drinking medovukha and kvass

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aramielles · 1 year

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good morning to him and him only 🤌😩

#kaamelott #calogrenant #calo nation rise up #the one and only #calo #🥰🥰🥰✨💗💖💗✨✨😔😌🥺😳😃😎🥵🤏🤌🥲✌️🫢

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dagonet · 2 years

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Kaamelott, Livre II, Le Dialogue de paix

#moi quand je check où en est le RN #kaamelott #calogrenant #stéphane margot #série #KT L02E03

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rarougrougrou · 1 year

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👉👈 calo pour une pdp pour moi ??

Et un calo, un!

#le rarou #ask meme #lila #kaamelott #calogrenant #msieur grenant #my art

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pas-de-la-kaamelott · 1 year

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franchement de toutes nos conversations, @pigeonneaux, ça c’est vraiment le truc le plus cursed que tu m’a pondu

pour ceux qui auraient pas compris non plus, quand moi je dis cal, je veux dire le diminutif de calder, le nom d’un de mes oc. que je ship avec blaise. pas calogrenant. n’essayez même pas d’imaginer blaise x calogrenant à moins que vous n’ayez de l’eau de javel à avaler juste après

bonus :

#……..aidez-moi #kaamelott #blaise #calogrenant

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art-blogge · 2 years

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this was SUPPOSED to only be kirby stuff after the first two (Makenna and Mephi). SUPPOSED TO. we see how well THAT went.

i will not be explaining the falspar corner beyond “rebalanced OP power i arbitrarily decided on when i was like 12 and refuse to remove”. solo galacta knight bc i think it came out cute.

#doodle page tagge #bors #calogrenant #sir kay #falspar #galacta #marx #makenna

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gerceval · 2 years

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@saecookie calogregang let's gooooo

#kaamelott #txt #calogrenant

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jananabananawithnopeel · 1 year

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C'est peut être un peu tôt (world cup is only next year après tout) mais un AU Kaamelott Rugby.

Bon c'est surtout parce que ca veut dire qu'ils auraient des p'tits short ridicules avec la moitié des cuisses découvertes 😳

Et puis Arthur ou même Lancelot avec la dégaine de Chabal ... bref

--

En première ligne y'a 'les frères KK' les piliers Karadoc et Kadoc et le talonneur c'est Hervé de Rinel

Deuxième ligne faut deux asperges, du coup Blaise et Galessin (en plus c'est le role de l'ombre donc ca leur va bien)

Troisième ligne c'est Merlin, Elias et Perceval en 8

9 et 10 c'est Arthur (Capitaine) et Lancelot

Yvain et Gauvain c'est les ailiers

12 et 13 c'est Léodagan et Calogrenant

Le 15 c'est Bohort obligé 😂 plus le ballon est loin, mieux il se porte

#Kaamelott #Rugby AU #Arthur #Karadoc #Kadoc #Perceval #Merlin #Elias #Léodagan #calogrenant #Galessin #Père Blaise #Lancelot #Bohort #Gauvain #Yvain #Hervé de Rinel

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queer-ragnelle · 5 months

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favorite queer retellings/interpretations of arthurian legend

hello anon!

this simple question has a complicated answer if only bc some authors seem to have created queer stories unintentionally! & i like them! i'll include quotes from my suggestions below a cut as there will be some mild spoilers but that may help you decide what stories suit your tastes as they vary a lot. you can also just go ahead & assume kay & agravaine are always queer (bc they are, not accepting crit) which makes narrowing down the list difficult for me.

TL;DR: Camelot 3000 Mike W. Barr & Brian Bolland, Exiled From Camelot/Trial of Sir Kay/Hunt for Hart Royal by Cherith Baldry, Spear Nicola Griffith, Guinevere/Morgan/Morgawse by Lavinia Collins, The Queen's Knight by Marvin Borowsky, Arthur Rex by Thomas Berger, The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf.

Camelot 3000 by Mike W. Barr & Brian Bolland: reincarnation story with transman sir tristan coming to terms with his gender & sexuality so he can accept isolde's love for him & reciprocate. it's really beautifully written imo plus the art is so 80s & my exact cup of tea. it's dated in some of its handling of the subject matter but i think it was done thoughtfully for the time.

Exiled From Camelot, The Trial of Sir Kay, The Hunt for The Hart Royal by Cherith Baldry: the way baldry writes is overall my favorite ever but her kay is unparalleled he is everything to me. unequivocally disinterested in women (without misogyny, very important note). codependent on gawain if not fully in love with him the crown style. lots of hurt/comfort, kissing, holding & worrying over each other. they exchange a ring for god's sake. in exiled it says ragnelle was the only woman for gawain (based) but after she passed he's all kay's basically so this checks all my boxes. love wins.

Spear by Nicola Griffith: butch perceval pulling bitches chapter after chapter it's glorious. ends up settling down with nimue. bonus throuple arthur/guin/lance with a very sweet moment with lance talking to percy about them both. no homophobia (external nor internal) to be found its very enjoyable. beautiful prose. audiobook was wonderfully narrated by the author, which is how i read it, thus i've written out a quote here:

"Secrets may prove a burden. So...Lance, my mother is indeed Merlin's sister but I am not Merlin's sister's son." Lance frowned. "I don't understand..." "I am not his sister's son." His eyes stretched wide. He reassessed the line of her jaw, the size of her hands. She nodded. Then he reassessed how she and Nimue sat with one another. This time, Nimue nodded.

Guinevere, Morgan, & Morgawse by Lavinia Collins: these aren't my favorite (did gawain really dirty, deal breaker) but the fact is they have multiple explicitly queer characters including: kay, lancelot, morgawse, agravaine, isolde, dinadan, etc. plus there were several poly scenes including one with guin/lance/kay, another morgawse/lot/visiting king/queen swinging. wild all around everyone is sleeping with everyone no character is unaccounted for. be warned these books are extremely graphic in every conceivable way. queer solidarity in the face of homophobia is a theme throughout. kay punches phobic urien & agravaine "saw nothing." shh its fine urien sucks. this hilarious convo between agravaine & morgawse kills me.

The Queen's Knight by Marvin Borowsky: an interesting retelling in which mordred is a grown up warlord right from the outset. he also happens to be queer. mind this came out in the 50s & contains pederasty, but mordred does later have a loving tragic relationship with fellow knight calogrenant (yay crackships<3), which others were aware of & helped conceal (kay, for example). agravaine is also queer, he only joins arthur's forces bc lancelot asks him to & continues to fixate on him for the whole book. typical.

Arthur Rex by Thomas Berger: so this book is super homophobic. but it's so homophobic that it circles back around to being pretty queer bc berger saw queerness everywhere, apparently. but the green knight is purposefully queer, so the kissing game's gender-role-reversal/bisexuality....escalates. david lowery wishes. both gawain & arthur are pretty homoromantic with lancelot to the point the narrative calls attention to it & then no-homos their closeness. agravaine appears to be queer too. he's the only unmarried brother (claims to be in love with guinevere but i don't buy it), he wants lancelot so bad he gets all tongue tied & stupid around him...wrecked.

The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf: what's this? agravaine again? so in this version, lancelot is named bedwyr (inspired by mary stewart's quadrilogy) but he's lance in all but name. anyway agravaine constantly beefs with guinevere for his attention...& loses. plus it's implied agravaine slept with lamorak before his mother which is hysterical. (my fave crackship is thriving<3) agravaine topples the empire for a much older straight man. it would be funny if it wasn't so sad. let's give it up for problematic jealous slutty queers.

these are just the retellings i have read & liked. there are more on my retellings list but those were suggestions from others i haven't gotten to yet with the exception of dishonorable mention to the winter knight by jes battis. it has gay gawain & his bestie transgirl bi kay in that but the writing style was unbearable to me unfortunately i'm so sorry i just didn't like it. anyway thanks for the ask!

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tiodolma · 11 months

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SIR CALOGRENANT: i was defeated soundly. oh for shame

KAY THE SENESCHAL: oh pls calogrenant you and your whiny ass just wanna gain favor with the queen. u think you are all so better than us jfc

MY LORD YVAIN: I will avenge you, cousin!!

KAY: and here is bootlicker Yvain always making himself look good in front of our sovereign

QUEEN GUINEVERE: stfu kay. one more word and im gonna hang you for treason

KAY THE SENESCHAL: (sticks out his tongue)

MY LORD YVAIN: nah it's okay my queen, Kay's words don't really mean anything to me

KING ARTHUR: lol calogrenant's adventure sounds interesting. what if i go avenge him too? that would be fun!

MY LORD YVAIN: squire u gotta dress me real quick. i must go. dont ever let anyone find out where im going. esp the king.

MY LORD YVAIN: im gonna find the places calogrenant went, and then i will have adventures, i will have a place of glory. fuck Kay tbh. im gonna make him eat his words.

MY LORD YVAIN: (kills a local lord, watches on as the lord's wife and people mourn and thrash in grief)

DAMSEL: jfc sir hide yourself. listen to me. and dont make a fuss so that these people wont find you and kill you.

MY LORD YVAIN: gdi i need evidence that i killed a man coz Kay will be so goddamn annoying if i dont bring home a war trophy

......

liveblob notes: kay is the real final boss here istg

#arthuriana #yvain knight with the lion #sir yvain #sir kay #sir calogrenant #chretien de troyes #heli blobbing #sir kay is the only that makes this arthuriana interesting lol #hes so bitchy everyone just wanna make him shut up #i love kay very much hahahhaah

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kaantt · 1 year

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Kaamelott incorrect quotes:

Alternative responses to "I love you"

Léodagan : A horrible decision really.

Arthur : I'm sorry.

Lancelot : I know.

Gauvain : Thanks.

Bohort : *laughs nervously*

Calogrenant : *finger guns*

Galessin : If only there was someone out there who loved you.

Blaise : *laughs hysterically*

Mevanwi : Who doesn't?

Yvain : YEEEEET

Karadoc : Why?

#kaamelott #galessin #arthur pendragon #gauvain #léodagan #bohort #yvain #lancelot #calogrenant #père blaise #mevanwi #karadoc

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aramielles · 1 year

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okay on a la funko d’arthur. maintenant j’attends les funkos du cercle des grosses sluts de kaamelott (lancelot / galessin / calo / caius / dagonet)

#kaamelott #funko pop #lancelot du lac #dagonet #galessin #calogrenant #caius camillus #lila rants

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