Today, in UK Politics

I'm going to have to start putting a date on these things. I'm referring to 20/10/22.

The Prime Minister resigned. She lasted nearly nine Jane Greys (8.889 if you want to be exact), or 4.4 Scaramuccis.

So anyway, Liz is out and this means there's someone new to come in. Yay! Hopefully this is the last new PM before Christmas.

In the July leadership contest, when the Tories finally realised that maybe, just maybe, Boris was a terrible Prime Minister, a candidate has to be nominated by 20 Tory MPs to be included in the first round of voting's ballot. They then held the vote, and anyone with less than 30 votes was withdrawn from the competition. Voting continued with the MP with the lowest number of votes being withdrawn (and others withdrawing even if they did scrape in) until two people were left, and then all Conservative Party members, that's MPs as well as paid up members, then voted. It's obviously a lengthy process (this started in July and ended with Liz Truss the winner in September).

This time they've decided it'll all get done by the end of next week. Nominations close on Monday, and anyone with 100 nominations goes through. Given that there's currently 357 sitting MPs, that obviously means a maximum of three people going through. "If three candidates reach the threshold there will be an vote of Conservative MPs. The top two will then be subject to an indicative vote of Conservative MPs before going froward [sic] to an online vote of Party members. This will be completed by 28 October 2022. If only one candidate secures the required nominations there will be no confirmatory vote of Party members and the candidate will be confirmed leader on Monday 24 October 2022."

In case the last two bullet points were too lengthy, here's the TL;DR - I've had colds last longer than this leadership contest.

But why take your time over an important decision like who should run the actual country. It feels like something you should rush, right?

Jeremy Hunt says he doesn't want to be in charge. Probably very wise of him, honestly. (Seriously, though, remember when he was the worst Tory MP you could think of?! What sweet summer children we were!).

Neither does Michael Gove (remember when he was also in the running for worst Tory MP you could think of? Ah, the naivety of trusting vaguely to the political process).

Jacob Rees-Mogg, allegedly the Business Secretary, but we all know he's really the Minister for the 18th Century / a Victorian scarecrow haunted by a dead Victorian industrialist, is said to be encouraging people to nominate Boris Johnson, who apparently does appear to be in the running.

Boris Johnson.

The good news is, the suggestion of nominating Boris has immediately split the party. Because that's what they need. More divisions.

BBC political correspondent Ione Wells said that some senior Conservatives have said they would consider standing down and thus triggering by-elections if Boris gets the job back. On the other hand, Cabinet Office Minister Brendan Clarke Smith insists that the former prime minister was a proven winner who could restore his party's fortunes. This must be true, because everybody's favourite Boris fan, Nadine Dorries, says he's a winner! Her credibility - for want of a better term - is currently a little shot right now.

Penny Mordaunt, currently the Leader of the House, appears to be in the running, and so does Rishi Sunak, who was Chancellor of the Exchequer until he resigned in July and kicked off the whole getting rid of Boris things.

Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer said his party was on an election footing, with a manifesto at the ready. I imagine they've been getting it into electioneering-ready status amidst the surprise that the Tories, handed a metaphorical rope by Labour's tabling amendments on the fracking legislation that had to be voted on, put said metaphor around their own necks and started shoving each other off the equally metaphorical battlements.

Also demanding an election is Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey, Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, and Wales's First Minister Mark Drakeford.

Not that they can force one, unless Labour can convince enough Tories to vote with them in a vote of no confidence, which they're unlikely to try for anyway. It's so much more useful for them if the Tories keep shoving people who cannot do the job into the PM job and burn their own party down from the inside.

Which will make a nice change for Labour, who over the last few years have been cheerfully engaging in the left wing's favourite hobby - schisming. Gosh, but the left love a good schism.

The next general election is not required to take place until at least 2024 (and by January 2025 at the latest) and, at this stage, it looks unlikely that date will be brought forward.

Because we're British, this is also happening, and it is magnificent.

im genuinely curious: who gets custody of the corgis? do they go to other royal family members? can we kidnap them (affectionately)?

Well, I mean to say, it has been a while, because OMIGOD WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON???????????????????

So, first of all, second of all, third of all, fourth of all, near bloody infinitieth of all the bloody UK Prime Minister resigned.

Now, bearing in mind that Australia knows what a speed round of "I'll give being the PM a try," is like, but we weren't that great at it. You people in the UK--sheesh, I'm so so so sorry. It's the great Australian political malady, and you seem to have caught it, and developed a newer, more virulent strain.

And you know what they will always say:

"So, tell me what did it feel like to preside over the greatest stuff up in recent history?"

"Well, you know, hindsight is 20/20."

This isn't hindsight, you idiot, it was 100% absolutely telegraphed... it could be seen from miles away. You know how everyone was saying, "Don't do this really dumb thing," and you just looked at everyone and said, "Excuse me, who is running this place?"

And now we hear Boris, off holidaying somewhere, in the middle of enjoying a nice cold beverage by the pool, sniffs the air, catches sight of the news from home, puts down his drink, rushes up to his room, packs, pays the bill, and jumps on the next flight home.

"Looking for a new PM, I hear... well hello," he trumpets as he throws the doors of the party room open.

I mean Good God!!!

Dear everyone else in the world. Just a quick note to let you all know that there are still some people in the UK who haven’t gone absolutely fucking batshit.

Thanks

OMG, I almost spat out the sip of coffee I took when opening Twitter.

Its a good day to be Irish, lads

time to print new money like they say they can't do

jess mariano rant

FIRST AND FOREMOST can we talk about how no one remembers that jess's mom literally sent him to an uncle he'd never met because she "couldn't handle him" and how he was just expected to say it was it is and move the fuck on like he didn't just leave his home, friends, and everything he ever knew and im speaking from experience because I've moved like 6 times and hated my parents each time for it because it's the worst experience and ESPECIALLY when everyone in the town already hates you because you look a certain way and he was fucking 17 like guys any teenager with family issues would act like that tf?? and he didn't even do anything THAT bad because i know for sure if rory and Lane had stolen money from taylor for shits and giggles lorelai would've defended her and SPEAK OF THE FUCKING DEVIL lorelai hated jess so much for absolutely no reason other than the fact that (AGAIN A TEENAGER WITH TRAUMA) said something mean to the queen of stars hollow and obviously we all know that she hated him because she WAS him but even that i dont agree with 100% because jess had it so so SO incredibly worse, like no father, mother who married so many guys and divorced and lost all of their money and house which probably made them homeless A LOT of times like lorelai obviously had family issues but jess had it worse so she can't really act like she gets him because she doesn't.

and everyone likes to bring up the fact that he got mad when she wouldn't have sex with him and he literally didn't???? what show are you watching tf and his character development UGH ITS SO GOOD the high school drop out whom known has ever believed in is probably the most successful person in his whole family and that's why ladies and gentlemen (i still have so much more to say but i cant write it because my brain is faster than I type) jess mariano is the best character and best everything in the show

to all my moots out there,,,ilysm 😖😖🤍🤍

Sooo at that party next week, Sand is gonna try to kiss another Freddie Mercury guy and Ray will intervene, metaphorically preventing Sand to "love himself". Cool cool cool cool (yes the imagery is gonna kill me)

yeah! i couldn't figure out who sand was dressed as til i think bon @chinzhilla mentioned it? and i'm going to throw myself into a conveniently placed void about it, i'm not gonna lie.

ur totally right in your thinking btw sand should definitely love himself

Aw man I was making tea and we were out of honey and I had to use sugar and I really like honey much more on my tea (thank you bees) and don't really like sugar. And I fucked up the measurement and put too much sugar and now the tea is too sweet!!

I don't like sweets! Even the chocolate I eat is dark chocolate!!

I am so sleep deprived rn...... because I was rereading Liz and Wes moments from the BTTM book since I got excited about NLTM for no reason, and than the entire ending part of the book, and than the basketball game chapter from Wes' pov. And than I saw that it was 4 am and I had to wake up at 6:15 am........

I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. I want a coffee so bad but it's 5:15 pm and I will literally stay awake until 2 am if I drink one now. And that's why I'm drinking tea✨ It's wild berry tea! The only tea flavor I actually enjoy drinking..... The british and the asians don't kill me-

I just love wild berry as a flavor! My favorite flavor of all time!! Ice cream, cake, jam, tea, candy! It's so good because it's not that sweet and it's kind of sour so yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!

You know who else would like wild berry flavored thing? CHOI JUNG SOO!!!! OMG HE JUST LIKE ME FR AJEFVXGNFVHGVHFCV!!!!

............ What was this post about again? I really need a nap

Oh crap I need to charge my phone. Like I'm writing this on the laptop but I remembered I need to charge my phone

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I need to work on my assignments

Sleep well kids don't be like me. Or do because I'm 70% more funny when I'm about to pass out

Ah crap I finished my tea writing this

I wanna read TCF now....

"I'll make you say my name!"

posted with @bikinibottomdayz 's permission

please don't repost outside tumblr

Hello Sainns,

𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝔀 𝓶𝓮

Hi cupidhoons formerly nishions,

𝖄𝖊𝖘.

the hellboy instinct to make fun of your found family