jess mariano rant

FIRST AND FOREMOST can we talk about how no one remembers that jess's mom literally sent him to an uncle he'd never met because she "couldn't handle him" and how he was just expected to say it was it is and move the fuck on like he didn't just leave his home, friends, and everything he ever knew and im speaking from experience because I've moved like 6 times and hated my parents each time for it because it's the worst experience and ESPECIALLY when everyone in the town already hates you because you look a certain way and he was fucking 17 like guys any teenager with family issues would act like that tf?? and he didn't even do anything THAT bad because i know for sure if rory and Lane had stolen money from taylor for shits and giggles lorelai would've defended her and SPEAK OF THE FUCKING DEVIL lorelai hated jess so much for absolutely no reason other than the fact that (AGAIN A TEENAGER WITH TRAUMA) said something mean to the queen of stars hollow and obviously we all know that she hated him because she WAS him but even that i dont agree with 100% because jess had it so so SO incredibly worse, like no father, mother who married so many guys and divorced and lost all of their money and house which probably made them homeless A LOT of times like lorelai obviously had family issues but jess had it worse so she can't really act like she gets him because she doesn't.

and everyone likes to bring up the fact that he got mad when she wouldn't have sex with him and he literally didn't???? what show are you watching tf and his character development UGH ITS SO GOOD the high school drop out whom known has ever believed in is probably the most successful person in his whole family and that's why ladies and gentlemen (i still have so much more to say but i cant write it because my brain is faster than I type) jess mariano is the best character and best everything in the show

I can't believe I never noticed this before (or the significance didn't really register for some reason), but in the background of the scene where Luke and Jess hug each other at the Truncheon open house, there's a young woman seated behind a desk/table near the entrance, clearly working in some capacity related to the business. There's at least one woman working at Truncheon! And we don't talk about this enough!!! She should be included in more fanfic as a member of the Truncheon team and one of Jess's coworkers!

Milo V and Gilly Gurls on my refrigerator

you people are welcome

In addition to the previous post.

Jess sometime between season 7 and AYITL (Milo in pathology 2008)

Look at his hands!!! 🤤😍🥴

The last screenshot courtesy of @milothirst

Teach Me Tonight- A Literati AU

Rory Gilmore is FINE! She's no longer the ambitious journalist that she set out to be, and is now a stable English teacher at her alma mater. The only thing missing in her life is romantic stability. and that is when Jess Mariano, the new Creative Writing teacher at Chilton comes in. Rory is secretly thrilled to meet one of her favourite authors, but can't seem to quench this new, unimaginable thirst every time she's around him. What happens when circumstances, such as merging a class with him every month or being partnered with him to plan the Winter Ball, cause her to experience more than what she should?

Jess Mariano is HAPPY! Sure, he gets to be closer to his little sister and move away from his fast-paced life as a bestselling author, whose book series under a new pen name, is gaining more traction than he ever gained in his entire career. He's more than happy to encounter Rory Gilmore as his new colleague. But will the pressure of who he is and why he's there, end all possibilities of pursuing a relationship with her, before it even begins?

An AU where Jess and Rory are high school teachers who experience Slow Burn because... why not?

Fully Completed!!!

Spotify Playlist attached below:

Dedicated to @anxiouspotatorants

Catch up here in the link below:

Enjoy!!!

It’s crying over The Real Paul Anka hours.

The scenes at Truncheon where Luke and Rory tell Jess that they are proud of him give a lot of insight to the ways both of these characters have affected Jess’s development.

Luke’s mission when Liz sent Jess to him was to “fix” Jess and set him on an academic path. As well-meaning as that intention was, it didn't work out. When Jess doesn't meet Luke’s requirements and has to leave, their relationship is bitter and harsh for a year. They reconcile when Luke accepts that he can’t change Jess, and they both realize that they care about each other anyway. At Truncheon, Luke admits that he doesn’t really understand everything that Jess has accomplished there, but he verbalizes that he is sincerely proud. Even though Jess did something different from what seemed like the “right” path, Luke meant it when he told him that he's always here. Luke is probably the only person in Jess’s life who has supported him in that way.

By contrast, Rory connects with the tone of the open house right away ("It makes me feel like I instantly want to create something"). The artistic spirit and appreciation of literature that are front and center at Truncheon resonate with Rory similarly to how they resonate with Jess. Rory read Jess’s margin notes and recognized his handwriting on the diner sign and was reminded of Mark Twain. She saw his potential as a writer almost immediately, even if neither of them really understood what it meant yet. They have similar taste in books and music, so Rory is in tune with a lot of Jess’s literary influences, and she identifies his voice as a writer (“It doesn’t remind me of anything. It’s not a ripoff, it’s just you”). Rory is probably the only person in Jess’s life who could compliment him in that way.

It's also notable that Jess is happily surprised to see both of them. He doesn't expect the people he loves to show up for him, but he is in a place now where he can humbly accept that they care and can openly show them that he cares (giving Luke the check and telling Rory that she can say something happened if it makes her feel better).

Everyone always talks about the failed Jess in California spin-off but you know what spin-off I want to see? The adventures of Truncheon. I want to see Jess work at a publishing press being happy as he writes, gets to talk about and be surrounded by books, have friends, and not get his heart broken!!

every time i’m looking at jess’ face in this scene my heart breaks because i think of this look and how it’s basically means it’s okay, rory. you can tell me what’s wrong and we can fix this together. just tell me. everything is fixable but i can’t help you if i don’t know what is wrong

but rory is so lost by this point she literally can’t tell him what’s wrong because currently everyone in her life (her grandparents, her boyfriend, his friends) encourages the way she’s acting and that certain lifestyle so jess knows something is wrong with her and she looks at him like this

and in the truncheon books event look at her!!

she doesn’t feel lost and confused, she looks happy. like she right where she belongs.

and he knows it too!!

I was just looking for a particular scene in Jingo when I came across this:

It was five o'clock. Vimes and Carrot sat in the Patrician's outer office, in silence except for the irregular ticking of the clock.

After a while Vimes said: "Let me have a look at that again.

Carrot obediently pulled out the small square of paper. Vimes looked at it. There was no mistaking what it showed. He tucked it into his own pocket.

"Er.. why do you want to keep it, sir?"

"Keep what?" said Vimes.

"The iconograph I borrowed from the tourist."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Vimes.

And I thought "Tourist? There aren't many of those. Wouldn't it be wild if it was Twoflower?", but was sure that it wasn't, so I continued to flip back the pages in search of the scene I wanted to find, but then I found this (during the parade):

"Oh dear," said Captain Carrot, in the crowd.

"What's he doing?"

Next to him an Agatean tourist was industriously pulling the lever of his iconograph.

Commander Vimes stopped and, with a faraway look in his eyes, tucked his truncheon under one arm and reached up to his helmet.

The tourist looked up at Carrot and tugged his shirt politely.

"Please, what is he doing now?" he said.

"Er...he's... he's taking out...

"Oh, no..." said Angua.

“... he's taking the ceremonial packet of cigars out of his helmet," said Carrot. "Oh... and he's, he's lighting one."

The tourist pulled the lever a few times.

"Very historic tradition?"

"Memorable," murmured Angua.

So poor Rincewind must have been at the parade when the would-be murderer was killed, and Twoflower lost an iconograph to Vimes. Also, the Luggage in that chaos would be a nightmare...

I didn't really think anything of this when I read Jingo because I read it before reading the Rincewind books, but it's amusing now.

literati but it's in the revival where she's falling apart and he's helping her write her book and publish it at truncheon books, he's so supportive when she's pregnant even if it's someone else's baby and either it's even slower of a burn till her kid gets older and stuff OR they raise the kid together and ugh idk

Season 6 Jess makes me so emotional for a variety of reasons, but now I'm thinking about him specifically inviting both Luke and Rory to that open house at Truncheon Books, the place where he works, that he's proud of, and it's the way he clearly wants so badly to be worthy of the people he loves, and wanted so badly to prove to them, to show them, that their love for him hadn't been a complete waste of time. And the way he expressed surprise that either of them actually showed up! He invited them, but apparently didn't really think either of them would really want to come! 😭 And then BOTH of them did!

A List Of My Favorite Gilmore Girls AU's, Conspiracy Theories and Ridiculous Headcanons

There are definitely more... as I think of them I'll keep adding to it. But these are the biggies and some of my favorites. 13. Jess eventually gains custody of Doula and she avoids ending up in the cult, and she changes her name to something way less stupid too. 12 Jess and Lane have a fling as an act of rebellion to piss off Mrs. Kim (but I really can't see any long term compatability here) and because pissing off one Stars Hollow mom just wasn’t enough for Jess 11. There is an alternate universe where Jess ends up enrolled at Chilton because his mother conned some rich fucker into marrying her and he used his money and influence to bribe Headmaster Charleston into letting him in. I feel like Luke is sitting on a lot of money but he would never have enough to pull to make it happen. 10. Rory was actually a hero for sleeping with Dean and breaking up Dean's marriage so Lindsey could escape 9 Luke, Jess, and/ or Rory finally snap one day after they can't take any more bullshit and go on a rampage around Stars Hollow slaughtering the many people who have wronged them, I call it the Blood In The Hollow triology. 8. Taylor Doose is pocketing all the money made from the festivals in Stars Hollow and he has no intention of fixing The Bridge or putting that money towards other charitable causes 7.In season 4 when Jess is living in New York and Luke insinuates Jess is a drug dealer he's right #HeyTawd 6. Luke serves cheap ordinary supermarket coffee (oh wait, that one is actually TRUE, Mr. Folgers can. I've seen you). 5. There's a vortex/black hole in California sucking in the unsuspecting men of Stars Hollow (Dave Rygalski. Jess. Max. Even Christopher, apparently ) called the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole, it swallowed Dave Rygalksi permanently because It loved him so much, but it spit everyone else back out eventually 4. Jess erased Shane after the Dance Marathon and threw her body in the lake and the swan that beaked him was a reincarnation of Shane out for revenge 3. Jess' novels become unexpected worldwide best sellers, turned into movies, turned him into a household name, earned him legions of fans and book groupies, making him a millionaire, causing our reluctant and modest blorbo to face the pressures of fame, press, wealth and attention 2. During the Truncheon years and beyond Jess Mariano blossoms sexually and becomes a raging manwhore the likes of which Philadelphia has never seen, sometimes I make him a college student (sometimes I don't), he has a Myspace page that the girlies flock to and a very busy flip phone and two roommates who never get any sleep 1. Lorelai and Dean are having a torrid love affair, and I call it The Dala (The Dean and Lorelai Affair) I will die on this hill, this is my Death Hill

tuesday again 3/12/2024

beat breath of the wild and have no real interest in rot13’ing spoilers for a seven year old game. also early thoughts on the first couple hours in tears of the kingdom. so if you don’t want to see that don’t read the playing section

listening

there is a particular piece of exploring ambient music that plays in a particular cave in genshin impact's fontaine and i adored it. i kept going back to that cave to trigger the music. it reminds me very much of Erich Wolfgang Korngold, who won several Oscars for early Technicolor swashbucklers-- The Sea Hawk, The Adventures of Robin Hood, et al. this particular piece leans into it the most and really grabbed me bc that's what Fontaine is all about: the romanticism, the folk heroism, the seafaring swashbuckling. i wish they leaned into it a bit more across fontaine, but i haven't played since i got fired and had to give my laptop back so perhaps the last patch has more similar music?

the use of bells in this is super great and pulled my attention first, but the way it ends-- a sort of sliding violin halt, some woodwinds fluttering up, a flute twining in. i hope their composing team wins some fuckin awards this year bc all the genshin music is good but the fontaine music is really a cut above.

either you've seen enough lavish technicolor adventure movies to know what the fuck i'm on about or you haven't, i hope this makes sense for why i was so excited about hearing this particular style in such an unexpected medium. here actually listen to this

-

reading

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang, i think a post on here influenced me bc it promised gay genderfuckery but i put it on hold SO long ago i could not tell you when that was or what the post was. it’s not NOT gay and genderfucky. but that’s really not the point of the book. this also wasn’t the easy read i was expecting it to be. let's yoink both the photo and the pitch from macmillan:

Lin Chong is an expert arms instructor, training the Emperor's soldiers in sword and truncheon, battle axe and spear, lance and crossbow. Unlike bolder friends who flirt with challenging the unequal hierarchies and values of Imperial society, she believes in keeping her head down and doing her job. Until a powerful man with a vendetta rips that carefully-built life away. Disgraced, tattooed as a criminal, and on the run from an Imperial Marshall who will stop at nothing to see her dead, Lin Chong is recruited by the Bandits of Liangshan. Mountain outlaws on the margins of society, the Liangshan Bandits proclaim a belief in justice—for women, for the downtrodden, for progressive thinkers a corrupt Empire would imprison or destroy. They’re also murderers, thieves, smugglers, and cutthroats. Inspired by a classic of martial arts literature, S. L. Huang's The Water Outlaws are bandits of devastating ruthlessness, unseemly femininity, dangerous philosophies, and ungovernable gender who are ready to make history—or tear it apart.

this book kept me company through a particularly bad bout of insomnia and i did enjoy my time with it, i'm glad it exists in the world and i'm glad to have read it essentially in one sitting. if i owned a hard copy, i don't think i would hang on to it. it was Fine, it's simply not for me. a bit too chewy and for bigger fans of Chinese history and/or wuxia i think.

there is an extremely large cast of characters (i often found myself referring back to the dramatis personae) and quite grim in parts. sexual assault, cannibalism as revenge, a very realistic war. a lot of really terrible, really grievous things happen to bodies. the fight scenes are clear and competent and will in fact unfold in your head like a martial arts movie.

it does take quite a while to get going and unfolds more like a TV show than a political thriller movie. this is a fat fucking book. this is a twenty hour audiobook. it strongly benefits from shifting POVs over its length, Huang is particularly good at differentiating tone and what each character pays attention to for maximum effect. she's also really good at one of my favorite things, displays of political deftness where you can’t see how someone would have made any other choice. some really top tier leftist infighting

while it is gay and it is genderbending, i would not say discussions of sex and sexuality are at the forefront. this is a group that has been pushed to the margins for their gender and sexuality, but this is a book concerned with how they survive and there isn’t a lot of space for discussions that aren’t about survival. there’s no fucking on page, but this book did not advertise itself as a romance or erotica so i don’t fully understand other readers' criticisms here.

this is a very competently written book. i am not going to remember it in a month's time. i don't normally emphasize it to this degree bc i feel a little bad about going "meh" at this tale of women fighting for societal and personal freedom, something i too have done but with less gore, but there is a wide gray sea of books that are simply fine and i don't particularly love or particularly hate bc they weren't quite what i needed or what i expected at the time. so it goes.

-

watching

there is a revelation in Yellowstone season 3 episode 7 (picture unrelated i just like having a picture for each section) that made us (me, my bestie, my bestie’s husband) all SCREAM and have to pause it and leave the room for a moment to compose ourselves. the amount of Things per episode that happen in that show. they really fuckin use all of their forty-four minutes.

i watch so little modern prestige tv i i keep thinking about why this has its hooks in my brain so, and i think this is the same concept as homestuck and soap operas and war and peace: once you get sucked into a huge sprawling semi-nonsensical drama you are In It BayBee

-

playing

i didn't know lizalfos could do that. i don't like that. stop it.

somehow i had never gotten up to this platform near dueling peaks stables and was rewarded with...some arrows. but the sun rising turned the marsh all gold, and all the atmosphere shading was firing on all cylinders, and it looked real pretty. the weather in breath of the wild is fun.

i had been under the impression that the divine beasts had been slowly siphoning away ganon’s energy or something and had not realized that they were lining up shots and were the equivalent of little laser sniper dots. hearing that joyous musical cue and watching ganon get got by that tremendous beam of light was maybe the funniest moment in the game???

anyway did finally beat breath of the wild!!! did tear up at the end! im annoyed that the postgame just vworps you back immediately pre-castle but i get it from a game architecture perspective.

at the very last bit of the fight i fell off my horse who got stuck against the beast’s leg taking damage and i was SO scared it was going to kill my horse but we were ok!!! i think i overprepared for that fight. the thunderblight light ganon fight was way harder imo.

popping that map back open postgame and seeing a cheery little 43% completion in the corner was. good god. i had 105 shrines and 66/77 side quests, all but four of the shrine quests, and like 250 koroks. i guess the koroks count for way more than i thought??? or perhaps i didn’t actually discover as many named places as i thought??? i would probably have more coherent thoughts about the end of this game if i were not Extremely Depressed and wasn't able to immediately jump to tears of the kingdom. as it is, i feel sort of "huh. ok. that's checked off. next task: ganon But More"

on to tears of the kingdom: i love zelda with her little bi bob. i do NOT love link with longer hair. give him his ponytail back

i loooooove these little grotesques on the temple of time-- i was spoiled for the end of tears of the kingdom bc i watched my bestie’s husband play through the last three hours. i have just enough context to make everything more confusing. also, i was fully expecting the time skip to be like several thousands of years but it’s like a month at most???

it is So Funny to me that the lord of the mountain in the last game is an extremely rare occurrence you have to go visit at a specific place, and in this game he just wants his appy slices :) this is an excuse to talk about other rideable animals: i started a new switch profile to replay botw lo these many weeks ago, forgot to choose that one when starting totk, and don’t have any of the horses i spent the last month with :( the horses from my first playthrough several years ago are, quite frankly, not very good stats wise.

i went right to hebra to start the rito quest (where is the divine beast??? what has happened to the divine beasts???) but keep getting my shit kicked in one blow so i think i will fuck around the castle and do some more shrines. my overall impression is that this game is way more fiddly. there’s more Stuff to combine and keep track of. i wish i could premake fire and ice and bomb arrows instead of having to select them every time. that’s a lot of button presses in the middle of a fight. also my controller is succumbing to some fatal connectivity issues so this portion of the tuesdaypost may be slower for a bit. i will scrape up some money for a new controller bc this is a real loadbearing activity but it’s going to take a minute to ship to me i assume.

-

making

listen i deep cleaned my living/dining and bedroom today in a fit of remarkably productive anxiety, that’s about all that’s happening this week. i finished repainting some large frames, i framed one thing but don't like it, i fucked up framing another thing and i have put it back in the closet to simmer/until i remember how to measure things again

How do I even armour, part 4:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Now with short sword and a Summer version of the uniform!

Notes:

The Summer version is a little nod to Guards! Guards!, cause the watchmen all wear sandals in that book. And you know, since Ankh-Morpork experiences seasons, maybe the sandals are a Summer thing. XD It also features a leather shoulder cover instead of a cape and a short-sleeved shirt / tunica. There's still a gambeson, but a sleeveless one.

He also technically wears his truncheon on the right side of his body, along with some pouches, but I couldn't make it work in this perspective. Might do a sketch from the other side later, to figure out the placement of everything.

Inking and colouring next!

Pose reference by: The Pose Archives on DeviantArt