#by jude mcdonald
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Newness and Nostalgia: Fall Out Boy in Raleigh, NC
By Jude McDonald
Like countless other teenagers grieving the loss of their youth as they navigate the turmoil, heartbreak, and insecurity of adolescence, I found my comfort in music – specifically, Fall Out Boy. The pop punk band from Chicago stood out to me from the moment they ended their hiatus, giving me words to describe abstract feelings I'd never been able to articulate. (After all, Pete Wentz can "write it better than you ever felt it.") Fall Out Boy's brilliantly bold artistry shifted over time as the band changed, bending and defying genres, and their fans followed them along the way. But I always found myself coming back to the classics, hoping that one day I’d get to hear my favorite songs live. And last Tuesday night at PNC Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina, I did.
Raleigh was one of the earlier stops on Fall Out Boy’s current tour, So Much For (2our) Dust, in support of their most recent album, 2023’s So Much For Stardust. The band came with three phenomenal opening acts and the promise of a night to remember. The first opener was Games We Play, a new three-piece addition to bassist Pete Wentz’s record label. Games We Play’s infectious energy and endearing humility charmed the crowd without effort. Even though the arena was barely full, the three musicians played their hearts out, giving all their energy to the audience. Following Games We Play, Hot Mulligan took the stage. Their heavy, deep sound and emotional energy filled the room as the lead singer made the stage his own. No member of the audience was immune to the deep, reflective vibe. The third opener was crowd-favorite Jimmy Eat World. An undeniably classic band, they prepared the audience for the type of nostalgia that Fall Out Boy brings to the stage, oozing an enthusiasm that brought the whole crowd to their feet.
My first thought once the curtain dropped and I heard those first heart-stopping notes of “Love From The Other Side,” was that Fall Out Boy’s production is breathtaking. With giant moons framing the stage, and lighting in all different colors, and the flamethrower bass (yes, you heard that right), there is no shortage of spectacles to be entertained by. And while the band generally keeps the show consistent in style and structure, there are a few surprises fans can expect to… unexpect. On the first SMFS tour, fans were tortured and delighted by Fall Out Boy’s newest addition: the portion of the set known as the “magic 8 ball.” The 8 ball, which they brought back for (2our) Dust, is a surprise song. In this slot, the band chooses a deep cut to revisit that usually shocks the audience – some of these songs are finally getting their live debut despite having been released almost twenty years ago. There are also other places in the set for them to shake it up, like lead singer Patrick Stump’s nightly piano medleys and the infamous fifth song, where “A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me” is on the official setlist but is sometimes delayed in favor of a surprise track. Either way, it’s apparent that the band knows we adore the new album, but also want the chance to hear our beloved favorites. Raleigh was graced with “Dead On Arrival,” “The Pros and Cons of Breathing” – its first live performance since 2007! – and “What A Time To Be Alive” during the piano medley (that one, I was extremely excited about).
Overall, there was something communal about the entire experience; from the dad one row above me that had obviously been dragged along (and was endlessly amused by my hype and lyrical knowledge), to the really tall guy somewhere in the floor seats who seemed to pump his fists everytime I did, everyone in the room shared something special that night. Concert culture has changed profoundly in recent years, but this show took me back to when audiences looked out for each other and strangers became friends, just by loving the same music. If I ever see Fall Out Boy again – and let’s be real, I’m hooked now – I won’t hesitate to jump around and sing until my lungs give out.
Fall Out Boy will be touring through early April, before taking a break and then jetting off for festival season. You can find the list of So Much For (2our) Dust dates HERE. And don't forget to check out our highlights gallery from the show below!
#fall out boy#patrick stump#pete wentz#joe trohman#andy hurley#so much for stardust#so much for 2our dust#games we play#hot mulligan#jimmy eat world#raleigh#raleigh nc#pnc arena#by jude mcdonald#music
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In need of help (again.) !!
Note : those are from and Band Name Generator
@espressopatronum454 @aithusarosekiller
#jude’s writing#j’s band au#peter pettigrew#mary mcdonald#marlene mckinnon#james potter#lily evans#band names
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Now showing on DuranDuranTulsa's Horror Show...Halloween Kills (2021) on amazing blu-ray! #movie #movies #horror #halloween #halloween12 #HalloweenKills #johncarpenter #michaelmyers #theshape #jamieleecurtis #lauriestrode #andimatichak #jamesjudecourtney #dylanarnold #nickcastle #JudyGreer #WillPatton #anthonymichaelhall #KyleRichards #nancystephens #CarmelaMcNeal #donaldpleasence #ripdonaldpleasance #CharlesCyphers #TonyMoran #pjsoles #DIVATYLER #scottmacarthar #NANCYKYES #NancyLoomis #OmarJDorsey #lennyclarke #RobertLongstreet #jibrailnantambu #MichaelSmallwood #michaelmcdonald #halukbilginer #drewscheid #2020s #bluray #durandurantulsa #durandurantulsashorrorshow
#halloween#halloween kills#john carpenter#Michael Myers#Jamie Lee Curtis#nick castle#james jude courtney#andi matichak#judy greer#nancy stephens#Anthony Michael Hall#dylan arnold#nancy kyes#pj soles#kyle richards#will patton#charles cyphers#tony moran#donald pleasance#rip donald pleasance#carmela mcneal#diva tyler#omar j dorsey#scott macarthur#lenny clarke#jibrail nantambu#Michael Smallwood#Michael McDonald#drew scheid#duran duran tulsa
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Miriam McDonald (Emma on Degrassi: The Next Generation) and Alexz Johnson (Jude on Instant Star) together for The N.
It’s a play on the 2006 “I’m a Mac/I’m a PC” ads.
Fun fact: around the time of this promo Alexz and Miriam were together in a Canadian film, “Devil’s Diary”. You can see it on YouTube. It features another N and Degrassi star, Deanna Casaluce.
#miriam mcdonald#Alexz Johnson#emma nelson#jude harrison#degrassi the next generation#instant star#youtube#unfortunately some of the lines havent aged well#deanna casaluce#alex nunez#so weird#the n#00s nostalgia
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can u write something about jude helping the reader after she’s gotten drunk
this has been in my drafts for like ever so i thought i’d post it it’s kinda short but anyway <3
"bathroom, c'mon." jude's hand was soft on your back, pushing gently to get your feet to move across the bedroom floor. you pouted up at him, tried to turn towards the bed and with a huff that sounded more like a laugh he wrapped his arm around your middle and tugged you back.
"i'm tired."
"i need to take your make up off."
"but-"
"no, in here." he nudged you through the bathroom door despite your complaints, pressing a kiss to the side of your head in an effort to appease you. he'd took your heels off at the front door and yet you still stumbled a little as though you were still in them, his grip around your waist the only thing keeping you upright. he laughed into your neck, nuzzled his nose against your skin before teasing. "you've had a lot more than a couple drinks, babe."
"i had like, three."
"yeah? and how many shots?"
"can't tell you."
"you don't remember?" with a hand on your waist, jude spun you around, grinned at the slightly startled look on your face before lifting you up onto the counter top. your legs swung a little, head tilting before you shook it.
"i lost count." jude snorted softly while searching for the make up removing products he'd need, one hand pressed against your thigh. his thumb brushed softly over your exposed skin, a comforting gesture that raised goosebumps along your leg. "jude, i wanna go to sleep." when he looked at you, you had your head still tilted to the side, half flopped on your shoulder and your eyes had fallen closed. he tapped your thigh.
"just give me a few minutes, yeah? you'll thank me in the morning."
jude had watched you remove your make up hundreds of times, he had each step memorised perfectly and he knew you well enough to know how annoyed you'd be if you slept in it. his fingers gripped your chin to get you to lift your head back up, his mouth pressing soft and quick over yours. he hadn't expected a whine to follow when he pulled back, your brows knitting together in a frown.
"more."
"hm?" turning away, he worked open the lid on your cleansing balm, digging around into the box for the little white applicator. your leg hitched up over his hip, fingers tugging at his shirt to pull him back in.
"want you to kiss me."
"bratty girls don't get kisses." he teased lightly. he was still scooping the balm up and he missed the glare that had taken over your features, your fingers flitting beneath his shirt to smooth along his hip.
"m'not bratty, you haven't kissed me all night."
"i just kissed you."
"not properly."
"no?" you shook your head as he turned back to you, knocking his fingers lightly under your chin so you'd tilt your head for him. you kept your eyes locked, nose scrunching when he swiped the balm over your cheeks and chin, a line down the centre of your forehead. "what's a proper kiss then?"
"like, longer than one second." you gave a little huff, legs locking around jude's to trap his body, ankles crossed to stop him from going anywhere. he arched his brows and tapped your nose with his thumb.
"well you're just gonna have to wait. close your eyes for me." he was gentle in rubbing the balm into your skin, working it in until your make up started to melt, messy streaks that made him smile. he was even more careful around your eyes, mumbled a soft sorry when you half flinched in surprise.
"i want mcdonald's."
"you didn't get any before i picked you up?" you shook your head against his hands. jude worked the cleanser across your jaw and down your neck before pulling back, leaning over to rinse his fingers under the tap. your own fingers had travelled to his stomach, nails dragging along the line of hair that ran down the centre and into his joggers. he was prepared for the inevitability of having to pry your hand from beneath those joggers. "gimme a sec and we'll order something."
"hash browns?"
"it's 3am."
"okay?"
"they don't start serving till like 6." he grabbed a cotton pad from the basket beside you and made a start on swiping away the melted make up and balm. he cleaned your eyes first, movements light to clear away the mascara and eyeshadow. "you wanna wait till morning? i'll pick some up for us." he grinned. "might help cure your hangover."
"i'm not gonna be hungover." you both knew that wasn't true so jude didn't even grace you with a response, simply kept working on cleaning you up. "i want four hash browns and a banana milkshake."
"no mcmuffin?"
"no, just hash browns." you suddenly gave a huff, shoulders slumping and jude's hand against your jaw was the only thing stopping you from falling into his chest. "m'tired, are you nearly done?"
"gimme a few more minutes." you whined in response and he couldn't fight his grin, head shaking as he made sure to clear all of your make up. he went in with a water based cleanser after the balm, more than aware that your hands had started to wander. "hands to yourself, baby, c'mon you know the rules."
"what rules?"
"no touching when you're drunk."
"already told you m'not drunk."
"i think you're a liar." you peaked one eye open, the other squeezed shut so jude could swipe the cotton pad over it and clear your streaked mascara. a lazy smile tugged your lips, one that he was certain was meant to be flirty but only looked adorable with your one eye open. you gently dragged your nails down his stomach.
"i think you're pretty." he huffed a laugh at that, leant in and kissed the very tip of your nose.
"not nearly as pretty as you." he gave one last go over your skin with a fresh cotton pad before grabbing the towel off the rack and dabbing it lightly over your face. he wiped softly under your eyes and when you blinked them open, the glassy sheen seemed to have doubled. "okay, c'mon, bed, you're all done."
“wait.” you gripped his biceps, peered up at him through lowered lashes and sent him another lopsided smile, your head cocked innocently to the side. you blinked heavily at him. “y’said you’d kiss me.” jude’s grin spread wide across his face, a breathy laugh blowing through his nose and he slid both hands along your jaw, tipped your mouth up to his.
“i did say that.” there was a giddy look on your face and he brushed his nose softly against yours, felt his chest ache with the amount of love he felt for you in such a small moment. he pecked your lips once, a barely there bit of pressure as he held your cheeks, stroked his thumb soothingly over your skin. when he went in again your mouth opened, lips slotting softly over his and he kissed you in slow, languid movements. it was gentle and unrushed, full of love and affection, a silent way of relaying your feelings.
a quiet noise caught in your throat and made him grin, his thumb against your chin to pull your lips from his. he half expected more complaints but you only smiled, scrunched your nose and giggled when he smattered wet kisses over every bit of skin he could reach. his arms locked around you waist and he tugged you from the counter, set your feet back on the ground with a final kiss against your forehead.
“dress off, get in bed, yeah? i’ll get water for you.”
“can you unzip me?” jude was nodding, ushering you into the bedroom while tugging at the zip of your dress. once it was undone he helped you out of it, aware that your eyes were starting to droop and you were leaning a little more heavily on him. there was one of his t shirts thrown at the end of the bed and before you could drop naked into the bed he was helping get it over your head.
“y’good? feel okay?”
“uh huh. come to bed with me.” you pulled at his arms as you fell back on to the mattress, tried with all your strength to pull him in with you. he pressed one hand against the mattress to keep himself upright and shook his head, used his free hand to straighten out the shirt.
“i will, just let me sort you out first.”
“i am sorted. look.” you wriggled under the sheets, laid flat on the pillow and sent him a bright smile. “want to snuggle, jude.”
“gimme five minutes.”
“but-“
“five minutes.”
“one.”
“baby.”
“two and a half.” jude snorted and flicked your forehead.
“close your eyes, idiot.” with a huff you did as he said, sunk back into the bed and let him step away. he picked your dress up off the floor and dropped it into the hamper, switched off the bathroom light before heading to the bedroom door. he’d just pulled it open when you spoke again.
“jude?”
“hm?”
“i love you.” he had to press his hand against his mouth to tamp down his smile, liquid heat in his tummy at the soft words. you’d curled up in the middle of the bed, head against his pillow and his own love for you seemed to burn him from the inside out. he made his way back over to you, smoothed his hand down the side of your face and pressed the lightest of kisses to your head.
“i love you too, silly girl.”
#jude bellingham#sinclaiirs baby blurbs#leigh’s baby blurbs#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham fluff
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Adrift With You - A Frankie Morales Series - Chapter 13
Summary: Heading away on a work re-location, Frankie embarks on a flight, but unbeknownst to him, his life is about to change forever. For starters, he will need to fight for it; harder than he's ever fought for anything else before.
Marooned on an isolated island in the middle of the ocean, still recovering from an addiction, his chances of survival are bleak; but he’s not alone on the island, and soon he’s running towards a different kind of life - a life with fellow survivor, Jude, fighting right beside him every step of the way.
And if they can both survive the island together, they can survive anything, right?
Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC Jude
Chapter word count: 7.3k
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
☝🏻See Series Masterlist for full smut warnings & triggers in this story. Chapters that contain smut or triggers will be highlighted in the chapter notes below. 👇🏻
Chapter notes: Frankie and Jude are tested to their absolute limit. Mentions of smut.
Enjoy! 🖤
Chapter 12
The pen runs out of ink on the fourteenth of April.
Frankie looks down at the notebook as his scrawl becomes nothing but faint indents on the paper. He shakes the pen in frustration, but it’s no use. His writing days are over now.
They’ve been on the island for almost a whole year. Surviving, barely, on fish - and now tamarind - and rain water.
Jude would make a pulpy sweet mush of the tamarind to flavour the fish, and it jazzed up the cooking for a while. But soon, like the fish, eating the tamarind soon lost its sweet taste on their tongues.
The school of fish had dwindled dangerously for a while, but soon more began to appear in the bay as the weather shifted. The rainy season seemed to end and the scorching sun was back with a vengeance.
One day whilst they were fishing, Frankie continued to scout around the rock pools and found a few mussels - and was careful not to step on any urchins this time - as he pried them off the rocks with the completely dull switchblade.
He proceeded to explain to Jude in great detail about all the tasty ways you can cook mussels; rambling on excitedly like a five year-old who won’t shut the fuck up about dinosaurs, and it made her smile fondly at him to see him smile about something again.
They ate the mussels from their shells, steaming them in the tin over the fire and that seemed like a treat, something different which revitalised their spirits for a little while.
But still they continued to appear more gaunt, often going days without eating at all, not because they didn’t have any food - what with the tamarind pods filling up a suitcase that they’d taken out as Frankie climbed the trees and shook them loose onto the ground for Jude to collect - but because when you eat the same thing over and over, you soon begin to lose your appetite for it.
“If we ever get off this island, I’m never eating fish or tamarind again.” Jude remarks one evening as they’re sitting by the fire outside together.
Frankie has his arm slung over her shoulder and is twirling his fingers idly in the sand beside him, drawing squiggly lines absentmindedly.
“I second that.” He smirks. “I think I might just live off of Mcdonalds for a month or something. Get a bit fat.”
“Mm. I can see you with chubby cheeks and wearing sweatpants with your gut out, shovelling burgers in your mouth. Hot.” Jude giggles.
“Living the dream,” he agrees. She feels his chest heave as he chuckles.
“Do you think they had a funeral for us?” Jude asks a little time later, and the question winds Frankie; he stops drawing in the sand.
He wraps his arm around her tighter and kisses the top of her head.
“I think they probably did.” He admits, trying not to think about it, admittedly.
“What do you think they would’ve said about you?”
“Hopefully good things, but I doubt it." He says, sadly.
“Of course they did. You’re a good person.”
“Here, maybe. But I’ve done a lot of shit I’m not proud of. Even before the coke.” He kisses her head again and rests his chin on it, staring out into the flames. Thinking about all the mistakes.
“I miss my mom so much.” Jude whispers.
“Me too, I miss all of ‘em. Everyone.” Frankie confirms.
He thinks about his family and the guys. Their faces flit behind his eyes. He even thinks about Carla a little too; wondering if she’d attended his funeral. He considers if she’d stood up and read from anything, or said anything heartfelt and cried with black mascara tears streaming down her face. Whether she’s mourning the loss of him and wishing things had been different.
His chest feels tight at all of the murky recall.
Jude feels him sigh out and cuddles into him further. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just thinking is all.” Frankie assures.
“I know, I can hear the cogs turning.”
His fingers jab, tickling into her side and she flinches, laughing.
“I’m alright. Just comes in waves, y’know?” He explains.
“I know. When I think about it, it’s like I can’t breathe. I can’t imagine their pain. Not knowing what happened to us; that we’re right here, waiting.”
“Yeah.” Frankie nods.
Jude reaches for his hand and interlocks his fingers, squeezing them tightly inside her own. “We have each other though, right?”
“Right,” Frankie nods to her as she looks up at him.
She kisses him, lingering on his lips and breathing him in. He kisses her, his beard scratching against her lips and it makes her giggle.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” Frankie says.
“No. You don’t tell me nearly enough.” She grins.
“C’mere,” he says, pulling her in and squeezing her hips and she laughs.
They spend time curled up together by the fire as it gets dark and she hears Frankie yawn.
“You feeling sleepy?” Jude asks him and he nods, those eyes of his looking a little droopy.
“Let’s go to bed,” she smiles at him and stands up. As she does so, she stumbles backwards a little unsteady on her feet.
“Dizzy?” Frankie asks her, steadying her with a hand on her back and one on her stomach.
“Yeah. I’m okay.” She pats his hand and begins walking towards the shack with his arm around her.
Jude rolls over on the cushion bed a few days later and watches Frankie as he sleeps through her fuzzy vision coming into focus, rubbing crusted sleep from her eyes.
She notices small beads of perspiration on his forehead like diamonds glittering in the sunlight streaming in through the window hole, and watches as his eyes dance crazily back and forth under his eyelids.
He flinches a little and groans as he dreams.
She places her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat thrumming inside it. His skin is boiling to the touch and she sits up, a little concerned.
“Frankie...” She whispers close to his ear and he stirs, groaning. “Frankie, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
He opens his eyes slowly and turns his head towards her; focusing in on her face as she wipes at his forehead that seems utterly drenched.
“Hey,” she greets him and he blinks several times before smiling, then frowning.
“Fuck, my head is hammering,” Frankie reaches up and runs his hand over the top of his skull with his thick fingers.
“Are you feeling alright, you’re pretty hot?” Jude touches his skin around his scarred neck. “Having a sexy dream, were you?” She snickers.
“Pornographic.” Frankie smirks.
He sits up slowly and the shack begins to spin. “Fuck.” He slumps back down on the bed and Jude fetches him some water.
“Here, drink this.” She unscrews the cap and he glugs quickly from the bottle feeling incredibly parched.
“How much do we have left?” He gasps as though the thirst will never be satiated.
“Enough, just drink it.” She encourages, touching over his head and feeling how hot he is. “You’re burning up. Just stay in bed today, you need the rest, okay?”
Frankie nods and flops back down on the bed grunting.
“I’ll go catch us some fish, you need to eat something. I know you haven’t been.” Jude says, narrowing her eyes at him.
He smiles faintly at her through purplish-pink lips. He runs his pointer finger around the top of his head in a circle indicating there’s a halo there, and she smirks with a little unimpressed snort.
“Take my cap, it's hot out.” He says, tossing his cap at her and she plonks it on her head.
Jude leaves him to sleep off what is probably chronic exhaustion and hunger, and heads to the bay to fish.
The water is mostly still as Jude wades around the rock pools, watching the fish and spearing them.
She catches several and smiles as they fill the tin; a sight she hasn’t seen for a long time. She glances up to see the empty shell of the fuselage on the sandbank still, ageing with an early birthing of speckled rust as the sun scorches it daily.
Her mind wanders back to the harrowing moments of the plane crash, a memory etched into her consciousness like a scar on her soul.
The cabin engulfed in chaos as the plane shuddered and lurched through the turbulent skies. Panic-stricken passengers clinging to their seats, their faces contorted in fear as the realisation of their impending doom washes over them like a tidal wave.
Jude can feel her heart pounding in her chest, each beat a thunderous drumming in her ears as she braces herself for the inevitable impact, but it goes dark, just like it did when she blacked out.
She looks out at the horizon, thinking about the impending anniversary of them both being on the island for three hundred and sixty-five days, and all that they’ve accomplished and endured on this piece of shitty rock they’re still marooned on.
She feels a tickle around her thighs and looks down, freezing instantly.
It’s a small shark in the water, barely longer than her arm in length, swimming around her legs curiously and she smiles widely as she aims her spear.
Jude heads back to the shack with the tin of fish and slimy shark corpse. She approaches the fire, tossing more kindling on it, encouraging the flames to grow once more ready for their meal, and goes to check on Frankie.
She enters under the plastic sheet. “Hey, guess what I caught in the bay, it’s a-”
She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Frankie on the ground, laying on his front, vomit all around his face and a red blotchy rash covering his back and arms.
“Frankie!” Jude lurches forward and shakes him; he’s unresponsive and she immediately sticks her fingers into his mouth, clearing away the vomit.
“Frankie! Wake up! Frankie!” She shakes him again and he groans with a choked gurgle.
“Oh, thank God! Frankie, can you hear me?” She pulls back his eyelid with her thumb and his eyes are rolled into the back of his head.
She pours water from a bottle over his chin, rinsing away his vomit from around his mouth, and then uses her wet hand to touch his forehead that still feels aflame.
“Frankie!” Jude calls out to him again, shaking him and once more he groans.
He’s alive, but she’s completely panic stricken. His breathing is shallow and laboured, his pulse weak and thready beneath her touch.
A wave of dread washes over Jude as she realises the gravity of the situation. He's sick. He's sick on an island without a doctor or any meds.
She strips him of his clothes; his body is saturated with sweat, and the heat radiating off of it feels like the sun’s corona burning her fingertips.
The rash is all over his torso, in and around his groin in patches of red lichen-like blotches which look mean and an angry red.
She hooks her arms under his armpits and drags him towards the bed, groaning out at the weight of him.
Despite his drastic weight loss, he’s still heavy. Jude lugs him backwards more until she’s able to roll him onto the bed. She turns him over into the recovery position, tilting his head up so he doesn't swallow his tongue.
She dabs away vomit chunks from Frankie’s beard and washes him down with sea water she collects, trying to cool his body temperature.
Jude spends the next two days by his side, periodically pouring water down his throat as he drifts in and out of a heavy consciousness.
“Wake up, Frankie, please.”
But Frankie remains stubbornly unconscious, his features slack and pale against the crimson blotches. He’s sick several more times, and when there’s blood in it, she freaks.
“Frankie, stay with me,” Jude pleads to him as he passes out again; the water dribbling from his lips.
She doesn’t sleep. She never got to cook the fish or the shark.
Instead it stays untouched outside on the beach, slowly rotting in the sun.
Dengue fever isn’t pleasant.
Of course, at the time neither Jude nor Frankie knew that’s what he had.
It’s caused by mosquito bites, and only a few days prior to falling ill, Frankie had been bitten by one that was infected as he fished in the bay.
He’d slapped the pest dead against his arm and didn’t think much of it. He’d been bitten around the ankles by horseflies in the grasses and all sorts of bugs since being on the island - just another pest taking a bite out of his tasty skin.
But it was as simple as that - a simple, little bite.
Ordinarily, if he’d been fully healthy, the effects of the fever wouldn’t have maimed him as much. But we all know that from his current state of malnourishment and dehydration, he wasn’t strong enough, and his immune system struggled to suppress the infection.
It had already begun to spread through his body and started laying down the foundations of the attack.
The signs were there; hot flushes, stomach cramps and vomiting. But yet he’d been doing that on the regular, so what was there to notice differently, really?
Frankie had caught an abundance of fish; nine in total, before the school figured out their numbers were dwindling before their eyes, and scooted off into the deep again from whence they came.
He’d cooked them all over the fire and mashed more tamarind with it, and they’d feasted like kings that evening, filling their bellies up until they felt like they would pop uncomfortably.
They sat opposite one another, eating and playing another game of Tic-Tac-Toe in the sand and talking like they usually would.
Frankie had the hiccups; probably from eating too fast he assumed at the time, and the little belches that rolled out of him had made Jude giggle.
“Where did you get that scar on your hip?” She’d asked him randomly, as he placed down a shell in the middle box of the hand drawn grid in the sand.
“I was shot.” Frankie’s mind casts back to the helicopter crash and the feel of the bullet ripping through his skin.
“Jesus.”
“Yeah.” He’d hiccupped again, keeping his mouth closed.
“You were shot at a lot, weren’t you?” She placed her pebble down.
“Nine times.” He holds his wrist up at her with the numbers tattoo.
“I couldn’t imagine that.” She said, scrunching up her face.
“I shot back, too. Thirty-nine confirmed kills.” He was concentrating on the grid and looking carefully at where to place his next shell, when his shoulders heaved again from another rolling hiccup.
“You got any scars, aside from the crippling emotional ones?” Frankie had questioned and she’d tossed one of her pebbles at him. He whinnied as it landed in his lap.
“A few,” she’d drawn her leg up and caught sight of the pink, ragged scar on the back of her calf, probably the most prominent one now to adorn her body.
“I have this one,” Jude had said, turning her face to the right and pointing just under the top of her cheekbone. A small, faded circle was there, indented into her flesh.
“I wondered about that one. It looks like someone hole-punched your face,” Frankie marvelled.
He hiccupped again and put his hand over his mouth tasting bile in the back of his throat.
“No, it was chicken pox. My mom says I kept scratching it and scratching it, and now I have a scar there.” She shrugged.
“My brother and I got the pox at the same time. It was fuckin’ carnage in our house when our cousins got it too. My pop just threw us all out in the garden in the pool and let us get on with it.” Frankie smiled, putting down another shell, and she’d blocked him making a complete line with another pebble.
She watched as his face changed; a sudden look of widening eyes and a serious mouth as he looked across at her.
“What?” She questioned him curiously.
Frankie promptly stood up and dashed off over towards the tree line.
Once there, he threw up; barely making it to the ground on his knees before it flooded out of him.
He pulled off his t-shirt and wiped his mouth with it, looking disgusted at the lumpy swill of barely digested fish. He groaned out as he felt it rise up again in the back of his throat and he bent forward heaving it all out.
“Hey, you okay?” Jude asked him, approaching and rubbing his back as he’d sat upright on his knees, the pile of fish and tamarind mixed puke visible in front of them.
“I’m fine. Except everything comes out of my body in liquid form now,” Frankie winced, gripping his stomach and spitting onto the ground.
“Too much fish?” Jude asked him tenderly as he stood up.
He nodded. “Maybe, I dunno. Probably.” He scrunched the t-shirt up in his hand.
“Come on,” she had said sympathetically, putting her arm around his waist and walking with him slowly back to the fire.
Four days later and he’s drifting in and out of consciousness; dreaming of nothing but black feverish voids as he burns up and his body gives birth to a ferocious rash that prickles at his already scorched skin.
Jude dips a t-shirt into the tin of sea water and wrings it out on the third day that Frankie remains hardly responsive.
She dabs at his chest and shoulders, giving him a tiresome bed bath to cool him off, titling his head back and tipping rain water into his mouth in the small instances when he’ll come to.
She occasionally dozes off for a few moments beside him, absolutely shattered.
She’ll suddenly jolt awake when he groans out or throws up again, and the longer he remains like this, the more fearful she becomes that he’ll actually die.
“Don’t you fucking dare die on me. You hear me, Frankie.” Jude warns him as she watches him just lying there, occasionally grunting in pain.
She hovers her fingers under his nostrils to feel for any air flowing out of them when she’s staring at his chest, convinced she can’t see it rising and falling like it should be, and working herself up all over again.
She picks up his hand and kisses it, holding it close to her lips and feeling utterly helpless and terrified.
With each shallow breath that escapes Frankie's mouth, Jude's heart clenches with a sense of impending doom, the fear of losing him clawing at her chest like a ravenous beast.
She can't bear the thought of him slipping away from her, of being left alone in this desolate wilderness with nothing but memories of what could have been.
There’s no way she can get through this without him; she’s resolute in that fact. It’s thanks to him that she’s even made it this far; the swamping loneliness on the island would have driven her insane during the first few weeks alone.
With him here, grinning at her moronically through mouthfuls of fish to make her laugh, or showing her how to light the fire; rubbing the small of her back when she sleeps in his arms, are the moments that make life bearable on the island - make it seem normal somehow in their routine.
The island is him - it’s Frankie.
A whole year almost of just being in his personal space and learning about his life previously makes facing each day worthwhile, something to look forward to. And to take that from her now would be cruel.
She knows if he slips away she’ll undoubtedly follow. A life without him on the island isn’t a life she wants to live through. She’s confident in that thought, as harrowing and scary as it is to consider.
It would drive you mad, a year in this place, all alone. Loneliness is an acute disease; people die of loneliness all the time.
Have you ever heard about those stories of an elderly couple being married for years and years, and when one of them sadly passes on, the other physically can’t live without them and passes away not too soon after, dying of a broken heart? Yeah, that.
You give up; you don’t want to face the world alone without them, because you simply know you can’t.
Imagine wandering the shoreline without anyone to talk to out loud, no-one to share your fears or worries with or talk them through rationally when they try to overcome you and drown you like the ocean’s waves.
No-one to calm you down when the sheer terror will rattle through your bones convincing you that you’re going to die out here.
No-one looking into your eyes with their warm cocoa ones and telling you to breathe deeply and try again, with an encouraging smile beaming out at you from under a navy Standard Heating Oil baseball cap.
No-one to hold you in his strong, broad arms and tell you stories about his life, his hopes, wishes and dreams as you listen to the music of his body; twirling your fingers around the curly hair at the nape of his neck that has grown longer as the days had worn on.
It doesn’t bear thinking about, right?
Frankie was a stranger once; just another passenger on a plane headed for a final destination into carnage, but now he’s the better half of Jude - the stronger one, her protector.
The one to get her through, the one who had seen every single side of her, including the vulnerable, the weak and the damn right acutely terrified.
He’d seen all the ugly parts of her when no-one else had seen them before, and yet he still scooped her up in his arms and told her she was strong, brave and beautiful.
It dawns on her that if he actually dies, if he is to slip away right now from her on this thin thread of a hard life they’ve been walking on for some time now, she’ll never recover from the loss.
Because he’s everything; he’s saved her, without a shadow of a doubt, and in more ways than one.
I love him. I fucking love him.
Jude’s dabbing him with the wet t-shirt again around his neck, looking closely at the faint, pink scars on his skin from when he was burned by the aviation fuel in the water, when Frankie reaches for her hand.
She looks up at his face, his eyes bloodshot and blinking at her through heavy, tired lids.
She scrambles up closer to his face and strokes through his wiry hair, her eyes filling with water.
“Hey,” she says, and kisses the top of his head in relief. Thank God.
“Why you crying?” Frankie croaks out through a constricted throat.
“Because of you, you dummy.” Jude reaches for the water and tilts the bottle towards him so he can drink. “I think you caught a fever or something. You had a rash and passed out. You’ve been out for days.” Jude rubs away the water that drips from his mouth and glistens in his beard, over-spilling.
“What?” Frankie coughs. He tries to sit upright on the bed.
“Slowly,” she urges.
“I passed out?” Frankie asks her, a little confused, rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah.” She wipes her own eyes as he lifts his fingers to them and smears away a tear or two.
For a moment, Frankie seems disoriented, his gaze searching hers as though trying to make sense of the world around him.
But then, as the fog begins to lift and clarity returns, a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips - a silent reassurance that speaks volumes without a word being said.
“How are you feeling?”
“My head is still fuckin’ throbbing,” he says with eyes like he’s squinting.
Jude places the wet t-shirt on his head as a cool compress for him. “I caught a shark.” She smirks as he closes his eyes in relief of the compress.
“I knew you were badass,” Frankie smiles.
“It was a bay shark, kinda small. I couldn’t cook it; it’s probably no good now.”
“That sucks.” Frankie remarks with a faint smile through his cracked lips. He can taste blood on them and the stench of vomit lingers in his nostrils.
She leans forward and kisses his forehead. Most of the rash has disappeared from his body except around his legs where it’s still fading. His palms and ankles are a little puffy and swollen and he looks pretty out of it still.
Jude's eyes shine with tears as she reaches out to grasp his hand, her fingers trembling with emotion.
"Thank God you're okay," she murmurs, her voice thick with emotion. "I was so scared..."
“You look tired,” he observes, pulling on her braid gently.
“I didn’t sleep much for the last three days.” She smiles faintly, blinking and her eyes feel incredibly irritated, despite the tears now falling out of them.
“Come here, hermosa,” Frankie encourages, holding out his arms and she shuffles into them. He wraps her in tight and he feels much cooler to the touch.
He kisses the top of her head several times and squeezes her, a silent reassurance that he’s still with her, that they’ve weathered yet another storm together.
“I thought you were gonna die” she peeps timidly, her voice breaking.
“No. You don’t get rid of me that easily,” Frankie breathes into her hair, his throat feeling tight and raw.
Jude looks up at him and he leans in for a kiss, but she baulks as she can smell vomit on his breath.
“Maybe wash your mouth out first,” she laughs, wiping her eyes.
“Fuck that.” Frankie pulls her face towards him and kisses her, smiling.
They both sleep for what feels like a hundred years.
Frankie is stroking her face as she sleeps in his arms. Her rhythmic breathing is a soothing melody in the otherwise quiet dawn, a reminder of the fragility of their existence on the deserted island.
The idea of Jude navigating the challenges of survival without him fills him with a sense of guilt, a pang of regret for the moments he had been unconscious, unaware of her struggles.
He can't bear the thought of her facing the dangers of the island alone, her resilience and strength a testament to her unwavering determination to survive.
And yet, as he gazes down at her peaceful expression, a sense of gratitude washes over him - a deep-seated appreciation for her unwavering faith in him, her steadfast belief that they’ll overcome whatever obstacles lay in their path, together.
And he believes it too, knowing that with Jude by his side, he's the strongest he's ever been in his life.
With a soft sigh, Frankie presses a tender kiss to the top of Jude's head, his heart heavy with the weight of his own fears and insecurities, but they’re muted for a while longer as he lies with her.
She wakes a little while later and it’s barely light out.
“How are you feeling?” Jude asks him through a stifled yawn.
“Better.” His stomach rumbles and they chuckle together. “Hungry.”
“You feel up to going fishing today? Might find another shark.” She asks with a small birth of hope in her voice.
“Yeah. I’ll give it a go.” He nods and kisses her forehead again.
Frankie sits up slowly and takes his time standing fully upright on his legs that feel weak and like they don’t belong to him.
“I need a wash first though, I stink.” He says, getting a whiff of himself.
“Yeah. You’re a bit ripe.” Jude laughs, wrinkling her nose.
She takes him by the hand and leads him slowly down towards the shore, stopping by the cave mouth to pick up the remaining soap and shampoo. He looks at her expression and shrugs as she explains that it’s the last of it.
“Well, it was a nice luxury whilst we had it,” Frankie remarks casually.
They wade into the sea and he dips under the water and resurfaces, running his hands over his face, water dripping from his beard that’s longer and more coarse.
Jude squirts some of the shower gel into her palm. He holds his out and she squirts the last of it into his hands in a bubbly dollop, and watches as he rubs them together making a creamy lather.
Smirking, Frankie runs his hands across her chest, massaging the soap into her breasts, and stopping momentarily to feel her nipples harden under his palms.
She leans in, kissing him and tasting salt on his lips. She runs her soapy hands through his hair, scratching through it as she works the lather and makes him groan out in a satisfied grunt.
“I like it when you make that noise...” She breathes, smiling as he opens his eyes and looks back at her.
“I like the noises you make, too.” He grins.
Jude presses up against his chest; her breasts crushed tight against him as he kisses her with some sudden uncontrollable urgency. His tongue darts into her mouth and his hands paw at her ass.
She reaches down into the water and finds his cock, hard and rigid. He grunts out into her lips as his fingers swim up inside her pussy, and makes her gasp out too as his thumb brushes against her clit.
“Fuck me...” Frankie whines into her mouth enticingly as she pumps him.
“You should really take it easy,” she says around his lips, unable to resist that pull of him as his fingers slide in and out of her.
He shakes his head. “Fuck me, Jude.” Frankie whines again, smirking with glittery eyes.
She bites down on his lip making him hiss. He lifts her up onto him; the soft, bounding waves keep her buoyant as she wraps her legs around his waist.
Jude cries out as she feels him slide into her, making him grunt in unison.
He holds onto her ass cheeks as he rocks his hips back and forth in the water, fucking her deep and with intense strokes.
“You feel so good,” she whines.
Jude clings on around his neck, crushing her lips to his and moaning out as she bounces up and down on his thick cock, with a little help from the waves in a deliciously intense rhythm.
“Fuck!” Frankie grunts out, gripping onto her ass tighter.
“Frankie!” She throws her head back as she comes hard and fast; her braid dipping into the water and he’s gasping out through his own rolling orgasm as he pumps out inside of her, shaking.
She holds onto him as they stop moving, feeling his cock slide out of her, and he kisses her again.
They chuckle, and she watches as he dives under the water, rinsing the suds from his hair and swimming around her, poking her in the stomach or butt cheek from under the water.
Jude looks up at the sky, a huge weight of relief sliding off of her shoulders that had been wrought and tense for the last few days.
Thank you...
She’s running, but no matter how fast she runs, the helicopter is falling further and further out of sight, away from the island.
“Wait! Don’t leave me!”
Her voice is being swallowed up by the sound of the crashing tide rolling in beside her as she runs down the beach.
Jude can see Frankie inside the helicopter looking out at her; the wind flapping through his unruly locks, and waving back at her as he shrinks further and further into the horizon, until the helicopter disappears completely and Jude is left on the beachfront, falling to her knees in horrific disbelief.
No, NO!
She wakes up with a jolt; her heartbeat reverberating crazily inside her chest like it’s trying to escape.
She’s had this nightmare a few times since being on the island, but it seems more intense this time - more like it could be real and she’s waiting for it to happen where she won’t wake up, no matter how many times she pinches herself.
She finds Frankie crouched by the fire pit cooking a singular fish and turning it over on the flat stone.
Egon is perched beside him on the rock watching the fish sizzling intently; looking for a snatch-and-run opportunity.
Frankie scoops a piece of tamarind out of the tin he’s been mashing up and offers it out to Egon; the little monkey’s fingers curl around his own.
“That’s all you’re getting.” Frankie advises him.
He looks over his shoulder as Jude approaches. “Hey,” he croons to her with a sleepy smile.
“Morning, Captain Morales,” she yawns, planting a kiss on his crown before heading down to the shore for a swim to wake her up.
It’s been several weeks since Frankie suffered through his horrific fever, and although it seems as though he’s recovered well physically, mentally is another question.
He’s been a little quiet; withdrawn and reflective as she often catches him just staring into nothing.
Completely zoned out at the furthest reaches from her, until she’ll touch his hand and he’ll come back to her with a little startle and a faint smile to convince her that he’s okay.
She wonders what it is that he sees in that thousand yard stare.
She slips off her clothes that are like a tent on her now. She’s been reduced to just wearing the bikini bottoms and a t-shirt that swamps her as of late; the shorts and her jeans no longer stay up around her waist of their own volition and she’s tired of hanging onto them all the time.
Frankie wears a t-shirt, or a plaid woollen jacket on the days it’s a little chillier, and he often drapes it around her shoulders to keep her warm at night.
When it’s unbearably hot, he’s often fully naked and letting it all hang out and free, and it's a sight that admittedly, she won’t tire of.
The flip-flops have long since broken and so he walks on bare feet, the skin on his soles hard and dry.
Jude’s hair has grown so long that it almost touches her lower back and it seems almost daily that Frankie re-braids it for her after combing the knots out with his fingers as they sit by the fire or on the shore whilst he does it.
His own hair and beard is even shaggier now and grease slicked from sweat. The cap barely keeps its unruly mess at bay.
She’s noticed his weight loss increase further over the last few months, seeing the bony bulges of his spine now too when he hunches over the fire.
How his rib cage is showing under his skin and how sunken and sullen his face looks, more so than it ever had before. He’s so skinny it’s spooky.
It’s a harsh reality to confront that essentially they’re only just keeping full starvation at bay. She dreads to think what they'll do when the tamarind stops growing, or the fish stop coming into the bay altogether.
It gives her shivers to even venture down that route of dark, swirly thoughts that are like gnarled fingers reaching out for them and following them around, ready to snap them up at any given moment.
Jude wades into the water to cool her skin and notices the sky is a swirl of blue and grey. Clouds are forming on the horizon and the breeze contains a little nip, even through the heavy heat.
She swims around in the water, untying her braid and diving under to resurface again to wash her hair without shampoo as she scratches through her salty scalp with her fingers.
Frankie’s padding into the water, and she smiles warmly as he swims towards her and kisses her deeply.
She wraps her legs around his waist as he holds her whilst they bob in the water.
“I made some food. Fish and tamarind paste, my specialty.” Frankie smirks at her.
She clutches his chin with her thumb and finger and kisses him again.
“And maybe some monkey, because if Egon steals it I will actually gut him.”
“You love him really,” Jude smiles, patting his hairy cheek.
He dives under the waves and as he resurfaces, he clocks the panic stricken look morphing on Jude’s face as the water rinses out his ears.
“What?” He questions, frowning.
Then he feels it himself; the intense shaking and rocking of the seabed floor.
She plops backwards in the water as the heavy rumbling intensifies, knocking her off balance.
“Fuck!” Frankie swims to her as she resurfaces, wiping at her face and spluttering in shock.
“Holy shit, was that an earthquake?!” Jude exclaims to him as he hoists her up on her feet in the shifting water as the rumbles die out.
“We need to get outta the fuckin’ water!” Frankie presses to her with wide eyes.
“Wait,” she pulls him back, but he simply grabs at her hand, pulling her forward
“I’m serious, Jude. We need to get to high ground, quickly.” The panic is palpable in his voice. “That was a fuckin’ earthquake. We’re on an island in the middle of the ocean. A tsunami will be imminent. We have to get to high ground!” Frankie repeats to her, looking Jude dead in the eye.
He isn’t messing around.
Jude can feel her heartbeat crashing inside her chest as he says the words. “A-a tsunami?”
“Yeah, we have maybe fifteen minutes or so, maybe less.”
“How do you know that, it might not even happen?”
“Do you wanna take that chance? C’mon!” Frankie makes a dash for the shoreline and they run naked towards the shack.
She frantically pulls on clothes as does he inside of it.
“Here!” Frankie tosses her a life jacket; one of the two he’d kept rolled up all this time on the case beside the bed.
A warning sign; a deadly prediction from his gut thriving into fruition right under their noses all this time.
It only perplexes him how, at the time all those months ago when he’d made that decision not to cut these two life jackets up, that he would be right not to.
He hopes he’s wrong. Hopes that nothing will happen and that his overzealousness will be met with a rational calm later.
With trembling hands, his senses on high alert, he searches in his mind for the safest route to higher ground. Every second feels like an eternity as they stumble through the frantic chaos.
Jude unravels it and puts it over her head, fastening the ties, but not inflating it.
He nods at her as she glances at him as her hands work the ties in a blur, time seeming like it grinds to a complete halt as the looks they exchange terrify them both to their cores.
They both run out of the shack. Frankie looks out at the sea and it all seems calm and normal. No signs of any turbulent water, but they can’t take the chance and be caught unawares.
“Up to the ridge, go!” Frankie instructs.
They scramble up the hill towards the ridge; getting up there in half the time it usually takes them. Frankie’s pulling her by the arm, almost yanking it out the socket as they pelt up the hill as fast as they can muster.
They reach the top of the ridge and Frankie’s branch igloo is still there; as is the ugly shirt flag fluttering in the breeze. Jude puts her hands on her knees and breathes in heavily, staring out at the horizon, watching... waiting.
“What do we do?” She puffs.
“We wait. It’s all we can do.” Frankie confirms bleakly.
“It might not happen,” she murmurs, convincing herself.
“Almost after every earthquake at sea, there’s a tsunami that follows,” Frankie informs her, but it doesn’t make it any better.
His mind races with the memories of the devastating effects of tsunamis he’d witnessed during his time in the military, on search and rescue recon’s - the sheer power of the waves etched into his memory like a nightmare he can't shake.
“Are we up high enough?” Jude asks, fear gripping her.
He doesn’t answer, feeling the heavy breeze blow through his beard and watches as the wind whips around her hair, casting it about wildly like a sea monster with several hundred tentacles coming at him.
Frankie secures his own life jacket around his waist and then tugs on Jude’s to check its tightness. He undoes it and ties it again for her, and she feels him pull on it again afterwards to test it won’t come undone.
Frankie looks up at the flag shirt and reaches for it, tearing it down from the branch. She watches him rip through the fabric with ease.
He takes her right arm and wraps it around hers and then around his left one, effectively tying their two hands together.
She locks her fingers into his and he grips onto them tightly.
She can already feel the bind of the shirt cutting off her circulation, but it’s nothing compared to the sheer terror raging through her body right now.
And that's when she realises it. Realises how eerily quiet it’s suddenly become.
“Shit...” Frankie gasps looking over her head at the horizon, his eyes widening in fear.
He pulls her back towards him as she turns and sees the waves high in the sky in the distance.
All she can do is gulp at the sight of it hurtling towards the island.
Frankie tugs on the pull cord of her life jacket, the hiss pours out of it as it inflates around her chest and throat.
He does the same with his, but nothing happens.
Jude looks wide-eyed at him; hearing nothing but her heartbeat inside of her ears almost deafening her now.
“No, no, no-”
“It’s ok,” he reassures. “Just don’t let go. It’ll be okay.” Frankie squeezes her hand tighter than ever. "Don't fuckin' let go."
Jude looks out at the horizon, at the waves hurtling towards them; thundering across the ocean and staring at imminent death in the face as it smiles back at them viciously.
It’s been waiting for them, waiting for so long and is now coming to reap the reward of its patience.
“Frankie-” She begins in a terrified voice that whimpers and cracks. “Frankie!”
“I fuckin’ love you, Jude!” Frankie calls out to her frantically over the storm of the relentless tidal commotion that bellows through their eardrums.
She looks back and sees the transformation on his face.
It’s like super, slow motion as his nostrils flare, his eyes widen as big as they'll go, and his mouth morphs into a large engulfing hole; his teeth bared and shouting as loudly as he can at her.
He wrenches Jude backwards into his arms as the waves fully engulf the island in a thunderous roar.
“BRAAACE!!” Frankie yells.
To be continued...
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Late night cravings
Summary:where the reader is craving and she wakes Jude up to her her food
A/n: I am well aware of the war that is happening between Israel and Palestine and I just want to say I support Palestine, but I want to let you know that before reading this there will be mentions of companies that are owed by Israel so consider this a warning when reading also the timeline of these events are before the war or the war is nonexistent and is not taking place
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It's 3 in the morning and I'm tossing and turning in bed, I turn to my left and find Jude is fast asleep, how can he be asleep, how can he fall asleep so easily
I sigh, giving up on finding a comfortable position and just lying on my back, my pregnancy bump just slightly peeking out in my line of vision, I stare at the ceiling for a while and think about how life is going to be in a few months, having babies and a being mother, and in a few years being referred to as mom, the new responsibilities I'll have, I can't lie I'm terrified, I mean you see all these cases of mother's mental health decrease and how they have post partum depression after giving birth, what If I became like that and start hating my babies because of their existence, and those poor children won't understand a thing that is happening, just that their mother doesn't want them, or what if I just get depressed, and the need to do anything just disappears, I mean I can't afford to be depressed, it's going to affect the babies especially when I'll be breastfeeding and all
I sigh again and try not to look at the negative side of the situation, Jude said I should always call him or wake him up whenever I feel like this so he can reassure me and make me feel like everything is going to be ok, but I don't want to bother him, especially when it's so late, he's already got a lot on his plate, I continue staring at the ceiling just tapping on my belly for a while, and that seems to have woken my unborn children because they start kicking, it must be a party in there
"Ok guys go back to bed, it's too early for you guys to be awake" I whisper
I sigh for the 3rd time knowing it won't work
All of a sudden I feel the urge to eat like I haven't eaten in a while, I'm craving McDonald's, KFC, and oddly enough something sweet, I don't know what but I'm craving something sweet
I try to ignore my hunger but I can't , I use my arms and hands to make me sit up and turn my head towards Jude then sigh again
"Jude"
"Babe"
"Jude wake up"
He wakes up and looks at me with tired eyes
I instantly regret waking him up the minute I see his eyes
"It's ok honey go back to bed"
"No, what is it, what do you need me to do"
"No, it's alright, it's not important anyway"
"Well, it must be if you woke me up at 3:30 in the morning"
"No it's not, go back to sleep, I'm sorry for waking you up"
"You know I'm not going back to sleep if you're not going to tell me what's wrong" he says
We sit in silence for about 5 minutes
"I'm hungry" I say
"Ok" he says getting out of bed finding his pants and putting them, then his socks followed by his shoes and a black hoodie, he then grabs his phone and opens it
"What do you need" he asks
"No, come back to bed, you don't need to do anything"
"Honey I'm already out of bed, you might aswell tell me"
"Ok, I want two big mac's from McDonald's, hot wings from KFC 24 pieces, a medium sized pizza with cheese, chicken pepperoni, apple juice, and something sweet, I don't know what but I want something sweet"
"Is that all?"
I nod and he says
"Ok, I'll be back soon"
He slightly climbs over the bed and kisses my forehead
"Don't feel bad love, I don't mind going out to get you food"
"You sure?"
"Definitely"
He leaves the room and walks downstairs, opens the front door and he's out
It's only after an hour when I hear the front door open again indicating that Jude is home, I hear him come up the stairs, walk down the passage and the door to our room opens
I see him holding take out and he walks over to me and places everything on the bed
"Ok, so I got everything you asked me for but I didn't know what type of sweet thing you wanted so I got you your favorite sweets/candy and your favorite cake, is it too much?
"No no honey it's perfect"
"You sure?"
"Mhm"
"Ok"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"
He takes his shoes off and goes to his closet to put them away, he comes back and sits on the bed while I start eating my food in silence
I then turn to him and see him lying on his back with his eyes, I place one of the big mac's on his lap and he looks at me
"What are you doing?" He asks
"Have something to eat"
"No it's fine babe go ahead besides you're eating for 3"
"Yes but you still need to eat"
He sighs and takes the burger from his lap and we eat in silence
"You know, we still haven't come up with any baby names" I say
"Babe we'll name them when they arrive"
"We can't name them when they arrive who do you think we are kylie Jenner?"
He laughs at my comment
"Their names have to have Js though" he says
"No"
"Their names will be different but similar"
"Like?"
"What about Ella and Alex?"
"Or Beatrice And Brandon"
"Beatrice?"
"Yeah"
"That's an old lady's name"
"Madison and Mason"
"No, I'm not really feeling it
"What about Brian and Brianna"
"Ok we'll put that in the idea box, it's not bad"
"Really?"
"Yeah, what about Cara and Carter"
"Hmm, Cara and Carter Bellingham"
"Brian and Brianna Bellingham"
"O I like it"
"I know"
"Ok but on a serious note we need to discuss how we're going to raise these kids Jude"
"What do u mean?"
"Ways of discipline, what if they do something we won't approve of how would we react, what if they come out and they're part of the LGBTQ, what then what?"
"Ok, ways of discipline?"
"Yeah, we need to think about those"
"Simple we'll just beat them"
"I'm not hitting my children"
"Fine, then I'll do it"
"Jude"
"I'm joking, we can take away the things the love, like toys ban them from going to friends, you know all the soft stuff"
"Ok what about the age they can Start dating, and being in relationships?"
"Brian can date when he's 13 but Brianna is dating when she's 28"
"That's insane, we going to treat our kids equally, we can't discriminate because of their genders"
"Fine, both at 13 then" he says rolling his eyes at me
"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" I ask
"yeah why, you wanna pull a Christian Grey on me"
"The fact that you can make that reference"
"Yeah, I can"
"Jude we're supposed to be talking about our Future and the Future of our kids"
"Ok, ok sorry"
"Then the LGBTQ thing"
"We disown them immediately" he says in a dramatic way
"Well it won't make me happy either but I guess we'll live with it, they are our children at the end of the day"
"Yeah"
"And the involvement of our parents in their lives, what boundaries need to be set"
"They need to be present that's for sure, buy them gifts and spoil them rotten, I just want them to make a strong connection and bond"
"Yeah that's for sure"
"What about sleep schedules"
"For us or for them?"
"For us"
"We'll take turns"
"One day it's my turn to stay the night with them, then then the next it's your turn, but if it's the both of them being fussy then we can both be awake, and rotate each twin by the hour"
"What methods should we use If they don't want to sleep?"
"Music, white noises I heard that's good and relaxation for when you're trying to sleep so we'll use that or classical music it's up to them really
"And their sleep schedules?"
"20:00, that's their bed Time, everything must be done before that"
"And sports , that they'll play"
"You already know the answer to that question, I don't even know why you're asking that"
He laughs and I smile at him
"Social media for them?"
"Well considering who their dad is we need them to use other names, and they must be private accounts"
"At what age?"
"14 is when it can happen"
"So social media and phones at 14?"
"Yeah"
"And a trust fund?"
"Most definitely having that, we never know when things go South"
"Ok"
"And I think we should go for Therapy"
"Why, our marriage is not on the rocks"
"I know but I want us to strengthen our relationship and relate to eachother better, you might have things that I do that you don't like and things you do that I don't like, we were very young when we met, and they say time changes people we aren't the same people we were when we met"
"Fine, we'll go"
"And this will strengthen our marriage as well so it's a plus"
"Ok love, anything that makes you feel comfortable"
"Thank you"
"You know I'm glad we're doing this"
"Yeah same"
"That way if any problem is thrown at us we'll be prepared for it"
"True"
He leans in for a kiss and I do the same, I'm about to attach our lips when I feel something coming up my throat
Puke
I quickly open my eyes and run to the bathroom
"Oh wow if I disgust you so much then why'd you marry me"
"Jude"
"No really answer the question"
"It's the sight of your face, it makes me sick
"Very funny"
"It's not a joke" I say brushing my teeth
"Do you wanna cuddle"
"Yeah"
"C'mon then"
I walk towards him and lay my head on his chest and he plays his hand on my belly
"We've got footballers brewing in there"
"Jude, if they choose that they don't want to be footballers then please don't force them or make them feel bad about it or even force them, I want them to make their own decisions
"Fine, but I will be disappointed though"
"Understandable"
#football fanfic#romance#world cup#x reader#fan fiction#football#soccer fanfiction#imagine#reader#love#jude x reader#jude bellingham x y/n#jude#jude bellingham fanfiction#jude bellingham#judebellingham fanfic#judebellingham#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#fan fic#hot footballers#footballer#sexy footballers#soccer fan fiction#soccer#fanfiction#jude bellingham fanfic#jude victor willliam bellingham#england squad
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hi can you do where jude tells the reader he’s leaving for madrid soon and she gets upset that he’s leaving so she tries to live their last days together to the fullest
madrid is waiting | j. bellingham
jude bellingham x fem!reader
a/n: so happy that jude has signed w real madrid! his run at dortmund was beautiful <3 can't wait to see what the future holds for him. this is a little bit short too, i haven't mastered the jude bellingham fics yet. enjoy! ⭐️
synopsis: jude announces to you that he'll be leaving for madrid in a week
—
you hate when jude had to sit you down because he had something to tell you. you hated it so badly. at the same time, you loved listening to him talk.
"babe, i just want you to know that it hurts me just as much to have to break it to you." jude begins. lucky for him, you already what he's talking about.
"you're going to real madrid." you admit, but you did it with a smile on your face. because you really were happy for him, and you'd do everything in your power to be there with him.
"yeah," jude says. "and i know that you applied to school here at dortmund and you can't appeal for online school instead. you know how much i want you there with me in madrid."
your eyebrows pull together. "of course, jb. but i get it. i mean, let's be honest here, you put your career and me on the scale..." you hold out your hands in front of him; one stood for his career and the other for you, you let your left hand drop to your legs. "your career is way more important, jude."
"i don't even want to think about that." jude shakes his head, burying his face in his hands.
"so don't think about it," you decide. "we are just going to spend these last few days i have with you. and we're going to spend it to our fullest."
after a couple minutes of silence, jude finally comes up with a decision. "we're going to a theme park."
"okay."
tickets were booked that very same day, and the next day, you and jude were in the car driving over to a theme park in dortmund. you immersed yourself in every moment with him. you made sure you were touching him, no matter where you were. his hand would always be in yours, on the ride queues, he'd always have you in his arms. doesn't really matter what you two were talking about, you were always talking.
at the end of the night, jude drove the two of you over to mcdonald's, sat in the car and ate till you can't eat.
the next day, you and jude spent the day café-hopping all around dortmund. you drank a lot of coffee, he ate a lot of croissants. by the end of the day, you both were delirious. you didn't sleep the entire night. you talked about anything and everything. you didn't complain, though. you knew you were gonna miss these late night talks when he's all the way in madrid.
the last day was probably the most painful day. when you woke up, jude was already packing his suitcase. "didn't expect you'd wake up this early, babe." he says, stopping himself from packing and walking over to his side of the bed.
"no, go on." you say, attempting to push him out, hoping he'd continue packing.
"that can wait," jude shrugs it off. "what'd you wanna do today?"
"nothing. just wanna stay here. with you." you say, getting comfortable in jude's arms.
"good answer," jude hums, as you realise he was wearing his dortmund shirt. "i'm gonna miss wearing yellow, y'know."
"don't think about it, jb. think about the club you're going to play for next. real madrid is a huge deal. think about all the friends you're gonna make." you explain. you can imagine the new friendships he'll make. with vini jr, rodrygo, luka modric, aurelien tchouameni.
"madrid is a beautiful place to be, innit?" he chuckles.
"absolutely. i've been there a few times, you're gonna love it there." you smile to yourself.
"i promise you i'm always gonna fly you out there. anytime you're free, just text me." jude reminds, though you were not surprised, you knew he was going to tell you that.
"i'm actually appealing to the uni if i could move my year online. if they say yes, then—"
"you can move to madrid with me!" jude jumps off the bed. you nod your head. "aww, that is bloody fuckin' great! uni, please say yes." he's on his knees now.
"i hope they say yes too."
"i love you. okay? you can't forget that. i'll be in madrid waiting for you." jude says, getting on the bed and kneeling before you.
"i know, jb," you say, touching his face. "i'll be in madrid very soon."
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x reader#jb22#football#football x reader#football x y/n#football x you#borussia dortmund#real madrid
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My fulltime McDonald’s worker is back again…Jude with kids makes my heart melt🥹🥹
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“Do you get the feeling that Jen doesn’t want us to move away?” I ask during our walk back to the car. Michelle doesn’t say anything, but I go on with my thoughts anyway, “like, maybe she feels like she’s going to be left all alone and that we’d abandon her here, but that’s not how it’s going to be, right? We’ll stay in touch and come home all the time. Like, and it’s not like we’ll be far, she can visit us during half term, right? Michelle?”
She is scowling, and my stomach plummets, “Oh, Shell,” I veer to the side of the path against a set of iron railings and try my best to get her to look at me, “Look, I know that Jen said all that stuff in there about how I must be lying about-”
“How do you know so much about Emma Watson?”
I blink, “Uhh...? because she’s a very famous woman.”
“Yeah but you knew all about her hair cut and all, like, do you follow celebrity news about her or something?”
“Not especially… she just like, comes up in conversation sometimes, I dunno, why are you-
“Because you think she’s pretty.”
“What? How is this relevant?”
“Just objectively, do you think so?”
I pause, “she’s fairly well known to be an attractive woman, I would say, yeah. A lot of guys say that she’s nice looking or whatever.”
She scoffs, “You know she looks nothing like me.”
“I’m confused.”
“You like her, yeah? So you don’t like me?”
“What? No. What are you on about?”
She sighs with exasperation, “You can’t see how it’d be upsetting for me when you’re going around saying that another woman is pretty?”
“Well she’s a celebrity. It’s kind of her job to be pretty, isn’t it?”
“I feel like you don’t understand what I’m trying to say.”
I hold her face in my hands, “Michelle, I don’t fancy Emma Watson, it’s not like she’s available to me, is she?”
“So you’re saying that if she was…”
“No, I’d still be with you. I love you, this is silly.”
“My feelings aren’t silly, Jude, they're real.”
“Okay. Yes, you’re right, look, I’m sorry I said anything about her at all, that was really stupid. I should have thought harder about it before I mentioned her.” I kiss her lightly on the mouth, “c’mon, let's forget about it and get out of town before I get another parking ticket, yeah?”
She lets out a long, weary sigh, “Yeah, okay.”
“Okay? Good. C’mere,” I wind my fingers through hers and stay on the sunny side of the street all the way back to the car.
“Nice day, huh?” I nudge her, “What do you feel like doing?”
She leans back against the car door looking thoughtful, “I’m not sure.”
“How about a drive up the coast?” I slide my hand over her ass and pull her into me, kissing her below her ear when I’m sure no passersby are looking, “We can grab some ice cream at McDonalds… watch the waves from a car park…”
“Hmm, yes,” She says with a coy smile, “I think I’d like that.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
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Friday Five is back!
Whether you're new to the mag or you've been following Heartsleeve for some time now, you ought to know this about us: music gets our blood pumping. So we're bringing back our biweekly soundtrack of staff picks, the Friday Five, a playlist of new – or new-to-us! – tracks that we've been vibing with lately. This week brings us emotion, danceability, reflection, and life. This is Friday Five.
1. "Cinderella" – Remi Wolf (Cassidy's Pick)
Hearing this track for the first time, while on public transit at 9am was terrible; all I wanted to do was get up and dance. Remi just makes you feel good. She uses this sort of R&B beat with a disco horn section that makes you want to get up and move. There’s also what I like to describe as “fun little treasures,” hidden in the production. For example, a little whistle pops up throughout the chorus along with a desk bell signifying that we are, in fact, meeting Remi “and the boys in the hotel lobby.”
Remi’s 3rd LP Big Ideas releases on July 12th.
2. "Wretched" – Bartees Strange (Jude's Pick)
"I was trying to be something wretched, something I saw on TV," Bartees Strange shares with listeners in the bridge of "Wretched," the third song on his 2022 LP Farm to Table. The entire album is a personal reflection on life and behavior, but this track sticks out to me because of its brutal honesty and its narrative; it thanks one of the singer's loved ones for being there for him even when he was in a tumultuous, lost period of his life. It's also sonically engaging, the pre-chorus building a bridge between the soft verses and the fun, almost chaotic chorus that culminates in an assertion of hope regardless of one's past. I'm obsessed with the entire album, but this one is at the top of my On Repeat this week. Last month, Bartees Strange released a deluxe edition of his latest album, Say Goodbye To Pretty Boy, and I'm excited to delve into it. If it's anything like Farm To Table, I'm sure it'll be gripping, reflective and masterful.
3. "Cocoon" – Bjork (Elise's Pick)
This song is one of my favourites of all time, but one that I’ve recently revisited. The production is quintessential Björk experimentalism; subtle yet undeniable mastery of her craft. Lyrically, the song is completely discrepant to the media’s image of her as naive and childlike. It’s a bold reclamation of desire in the form of a gentle love letter, almost invasive to listen to because of its intimacy. The microbeats which softly patter through the whole album, Vespertine, characterise this song as a paean to a vulnerable love Björk is sharing with her lover, and now with us as listeners. It’s a product of that Tori Amos, PJ Harvey era of 90s alternative, unapologetic in its depictions of a sexuality that had not been explored by many women due to taboo. The title feels perfect, too, the beats and layers of production evoking a feeling of being blanketed in the music as though in a cocoon. A track that never gets old, despite the 13 years that have passed since its release.
4. "B2b" – Charli XCX (Cassidy's Pick)
Wake up, angels! Charli is back! In February, Charli XCX emerged with a new single Von Dutch that spread across TikTok like a plague. Then a remix of the track featuring Addison Rae and production from A.G. Cook, it was clear that this new album cycle would be a hit.
Before the album, BRAT, drops on June 7th, Charli graciously released two more singles to obsess over, “Club classics” and “B2b.” As much as I love “Club classics,” “B2b” is it for me. The addictive synth beat, mixed with the infectious hook, creates a track you don’t want to put down and I haven’t. Charli has a special way of bringing meaningful lyricism to a genre that is usually viewed as completely void of it, and “B2b” is a great example. Suffice it to say, I am beyond excited to hear the album of the summer on June 7th.
5. "Good Luck, Babe!" – Chappell Roan (Elise's Pick)
I don’t typically listen to pop, but this upbeat exploration of queer love and heartache is one of my favourite recent releases. The vocals are grandiose, heavenly in their high pitch and almost reminiscent of Kate Bush in their drama. Roan is an artist completely dedicated to the ‘image’ and the art that comes with her music; her recent appearance on Tiny Desk included lipstick on teeth, bouffant scarlet wigs and tiaras. She is one of my favourite rising artists at the moment, opening many of Olivia Rodrigo’s US shows and portraying the multifaceted beauty and ache of sapphic desire through the journey of her debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. This is her first release since this album, and she doesn’t disappoint. ‘You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling,’ she sings, as the ending of the song slows, slowing and distorting her voice and eventually stopping. She doesn’t shy away from explicit queer desire, and it’s not all innocence: it’s “a sexually explicit kinda love affair.” I’m enamoured with Roan’s eccentricity and originality, and this track only serves to reinforce it - the fun beats, flamboyant strings, and her hypnotic vocals render this a must-listen track.
Check out the Friday Five playlist on Spotify below, and be sure to follow us so you don't miss future updates!
#bjork#Chappell roan#Bartees strange#Charli xcx#remi wolf#friday five#music#by cassidy byrnes#by elise buckingham#by jude mcdonald#heartsleeve magazine#music publication#journalism#indie music#entertainment#Spotify
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Party
credit to @simysimysimy for the gif x
Birthday Prompts
Dialogue 14.Jude Bellingham
14. “That was one crazy party, we are going to suffer tomorrow”
Word Count: 260
The party was nearing an end, you were having the best time. But you were ready for bed.
You could hear it calling you because you were starting to feel tired and the amount of tequilla shots you consumed wasn’t t he best idea you’d ever had.
As you were saying goodbye to everyone, Jude wrapped his arm around your waist. “I am exhausted” Jude let out a yawn as he placed his head on your shoulder as you gently stroked his cheek.
“Me too, does that mean we are getting old” you smirked as he slowly nodded.
“That was one crazy party, we are going to suffer tomorrow” he smirked.
“Wipe that smirk off of that face of yours, I think we are. I better tidy up now a little” you moaned as you realised how messy the venue was left.
“Come on, you need to head off home now. There are people doing it. You also need food and water, can we get McDonalds please” he pouted as you stopped.
“Fine, thank you everyone. I hope we didn’t make it to messy for you all” you shouted as the staff waved you off.
“I feel bad I should be helping” you groaned.
“Shh you. Let’s just get food” you laughed as you did agree with him and needed food desperately.
“I did have a good time though, but I regret doing shots with you” you rubbed your head gently as Jude nodded.
“I do too, I feel so tired already” Jude replied as he let out a yawn.
Taglist: @footballffbarbiex @percervall @footballxixstars @football-and-fanfics @odegaardsreds @mrseriksen @simpingmyassoff @0alanasworld0 @ghwoticz
#jude bellingham imagine#football imagine#jude bellingham x reader#football imagines#football one shots#football one shot#futbol imagines#futbol imagine#football x reader
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hiiii you already know it's me. jude, struggling to make ends meet. i started to pay down some of my debt, but then i had to take many ubers unexpectedly and all of what i paid down was gone. i keep getting sick too and having to call in.
i'm looking into getting a part time job at a mcdonalds to help. still trying to find a way away from my parents, still barely able to cover necessities. no savings.
i need $1k minimum to erase a majority of my debt, i Am putting my own checks into it as well, as much as i can. my paypal balance is currently $27, and my bank account has barely enough to last me until my next payday. please rb or help out if you can, i would love to at least be debt free soon
$27/$1k (dec. 8. 22)
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Jude “Amish-coded” St. Francis
Yk the fact that Jude was raised in a monestery in the middle of nowhere completely isolated from the outside world is sad for sure, even without the horrific abuse that is such an odd way to raise a child.
But it could also be. So Fucking funny if you think about it. He’s like borderline Amish, he has no clue wtf is going on and he can tend to crops
Headcannons for college first year “fresh into the outside world” Jude “religious trauma” St Francis
Blue Takis
A 4Loko nearly took him out (JB snuck him one while he was still underage)
JB gave him a McDonald’s sprite once. Almost sent him into a fit
“Willem what’s a furry” “who the fuck told you that”
Woke up in the middle of the night and the rest of the group were all gone (they’d gone out for food) and his half asleep brain thought the rapture happened
Have you ever seen that one TikTok where the tiktoker’s roommate was an ex-Amish girl and she was churning butter in their apartment? Jude coded
Studying for the bar exam stressed him out so much he got a butter churner bc the repetitive action
Willem walks in to see Jude, distressed, churning butter
They go for a hike somewhere and Jude starts picking out mushrooms and telling them which ones are poisonous and which ones aren’t
“Willem he’s basically feral” “JB shut up”
#a little life#jude st francis#a little life play#een klein leven#willem ragnarsson#jean baptiste marion
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the fact I got tagged by @benjaminagunn fills my heart with happy im fucking die lets GOOOO
relationship status: married! v happily (got together 2012, married 2020)
fav color: Pink!
song stuck in my head: Rumbling by SiM (i may not watch attack on titan but it has banger opening songs)
last song i listened to: leia english cover by lollia
3 fave foods: mcdonalds burgers, costco chicken bakes, abbys pizza
last google: welcome home website (I was curious if the site was up yet or not, its not)
dream trip: Japan, for Nintendo World, Tokyo DisneySea and Sanrio Puroland. The dreeeam~
anything i want right now: the motivation to do recording work and to clean the kitchen, or clean the house in general. Am stuck in depression slump atm so its hard for work weh
TIME FOR TAGGING lets go @pearlsongfromstuff @jude-is-a-comedian @panicismyrain @ourlordapollo @cheesecakehuggles @tangentially-displaced @imakemywings @thealmightytema
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