Agen-Lesbian or Agensexual Lesbian

This is a term for people who are both agensexual and lesbian.

This term is mainly intended for people who identify as mspec lesbian and only or mostly feel agensexual while experiencing lesbian attraction compared to their other types of attraction, but this term can be used by any lesbian who also identifies as agensexual. I also made this mainly to help organize my pronoun page.

Coined by: @arcticflowerz

Do not repost my flags/the things I coin with out credit.

For context: Agensexual is a sexuality on the ace spectrum. It refers to when you are a genitalia repulsed asexual. (I did not coin agensexual, I’m only coining agen-lesbian)

You don’t have to be repulsed to all kinds of genitalia to use this term, you only have to be repulsed to at least one type, whether that be ass, tits (this *can* be a repulsion to any sex’s tits), dick, and pussy. This repulsion can also be fluid/fluctuating, it does not have to be a constant repulsion.

Example for why someone might identify as Agen-Lesbian: For me, my main attraction labels are lesbian, vincian, enbian, varian, and fluidian. I always feel agensexual during lesbian attraction and only sometimes feel agensexual during vincian attraction, but I don’t feel agensexual while experiencing enbian, varian, or fluidian attraction.

DO NOT use this term if you want to say your *only* genitalia repulsed to intersex people, people with small tits, people with a flat ass, people with small dicks, people who’ve had gender reaffirming surgery, people who’ve had plastic surgery on their tits or ass, or people of specific sexualities that your “not a fan of”. It’s okay to have preferences but being “repulsed” or “grossed out” by the genitalia alone of any of the people I just listed seems quite discriminatory to me, especially as it’s common for them to be mocked or made fun of. I DO NOT want my terms being used as a way to be discriminatory towards anyone.

Here’s the link to the agen-vinc/gay version.

★ 🌙 Moon butch lesbian flag. For closeted butches or butches who like the moon / have a connection to the moon. I plan to make a femme flag of this as well!

I am not a lesbian however I was bored and I love one of my lesbian friends a lot. Also I made this with trans / nonbinary and most importantly gender noncomforming butches in mind. From what I know butch is not only dressing masculine and stuff and it has a lot more to do than how you express yourself in terms of style. (Butch lesbians please correct me if I'm wrong!) this flag is not exclusive to trans butches or gnc butches but just know I made this with the intention of making sure trans / gnc / intersex butches feel seen.

As always some tags below are for reach

hot take (it’s the most lukewarm take you’ll ever hear) but we have evolved with our understanding of gender as a social construct and sexuality as an inherently complicated thing enough that it in fact does not mean that just using the ‘retro way’ of describing sexuality and relationships and gender in queer spaces is the way to go but rather the new words we have to be as specific or unspecific as we want are there for the purpose of encapsulating who we are and should be used. evolution and adaptation within a digital space in which you can be as highly specific as you want, or don’t want.

like, basically, yes old queers did use whatever goddamn words they wanted, and I respect that. I love the ways old queers described themselves. I’m enamored with someone calling themselves, like, a ftm boydyke. Great vibes. I’d be safe as hell in a room with him and he’d give me great ideas for soups. But the time in which old queers navigated their identities have changed massively and we now live in a digital world where the queer community is active and loud and everywhere, and any knowledge about any word we could use is at our fingertips, and new words have been made to more accurately describe experiences so we didn’t HAVE to layer what we could together to get a semblance of what we felt, and it’s not only okay but probably uhh very good for us to be able to, like...

Evolve and start using our own ways of self-identity and nuance, and also start defining the differences in our shared identities as queer people while acknowledging that that does not mean we aren’t all still family with a shared experience of marginalization and beauty and love.

the people harmed by the 'save the poor confused daughters' rhetoric are trans WOMEN who are seen as the predators. if you are TME maybe shut the fuck about oppression you benefit from? 'oh no i am seen as the people who need to be protected from the evil bad transfems :(' you are the villain here

While trans women are seen as predators and the "save the poor daughters" rhetoric affects them in things like sports and bathroom bills, this ideology is specifically wielded against trans men & mascs. Because- and this may come as a shock to you- transphobes hate all of us and we are all harmed by their bigotry.

Specifically, in the post you're likely referencing, I was referring to the way TERFs are upset about people who were assigned female at birth, discovered they were attracted to women and identified as lesbians, and then transitioned into straight trans men. This isn't a made up thing. This is actually very common rhetoric.

They see trans men & mascs as lost butches. They see transmasculinity as the lesbian holocaust (which, in addition to being transandrophobic, is antisemetic as FUCK. but i won't get into that)

And this rhetoric is seen in trying to "protect" all afab children, not just lesbians. Conservatives have recently become outraged that an American Girls book marketed towards young girls, or young children perceived as girls, explained gender identity and advised readers to talk to a trusted adult if they were experiencing gender dysphoria, because a doctor could help them be more comfortable in their bodies (namely puberty blockers.)

Here are screenshots. This shit is real.

I am not seen as someone who needs to be protected from the "evil bad transfems." I am seen as a traitor to womanhood, a violent misogynist, a nazi in the so-called lesbian holocaust, a stupid girl who wants to mutilate her body and trick other girls into mutilating their bodies too.

And even if I was seen as a victim, if I was seen as a little girl who needed to be saved- that would be misgendering me. I'm not a fucking girl. It's not a privilege to be misgendered, and quite honestly it's transphobic to claim I should feel grateful that I'm getting misgendered.

Also, that's bullshit to say that I'm TME and I benefit from transmisogyny. I am not transmisogyny exempt. I have been harassed for going into a women's bathroom because I looked too masculine and the women in there thought I was an evil bad predator. So yeah, not sure how I benefited from that, considering it left me with nowhere safe to use the fucking bathroom.

You have no right to tell me I'm not harmed by transphobia. Go fuck yourself.

I believe that butches and trans women are hated with the same, or a similar, kind of vitriol for introducing some sense of masculinity into womanhood that gets us both universally hated by many, and i don't think enough people are willing to talk about this.

Butches are seen as ruining their beautiful feminine bodies and are seen as betrayers of womanhood and femininity, even by lesbians. They ‘ruin’ femaleness by introducing masculinity into it, by being a woman who chooses masculinity, and she is seen as a predator, as sexually aggressive, perverted, and more.

Trans women are seen as ‘ruining’ femininity by bringing masculinity into it on the basis of having been assigned male at birth. Just as being born female is seen as an inherently feminine trait, being born male is seen as an inherently masculine trait, and the act of becoming female is seen as ‘tainting’ femaleness by having an ‘inherently’ masculine person become a woman, and she is similarly seen as a sexually aggressive, deceitful predator and pervert.

People act like people only hate butches because they confuse us for trans women as if the predatory lesbian stereotype hasn't been most directly and harshly applied to butch lesbians. Butches are not solely hated for being mistaken for trans women, butches are hated very harshly in our own right for 'tainting' femininity in a similar way to how trans women are seen as 'tainting' femininity by having been assigned male at birth.

Butches get kicked out of bathrooms not inherently for being mistaken for trans women or even men, but because by nature of being masculine and a woman at the same time is something that is deeply unacceptable to society, and we are immediately deemed as predatory.

Drag queens are highly visible for their flashy fashion and artistic portrayals of hyperfemininity, and in many cases are even loved by many straight people (particularly women) because of this. Butches, however, are some of the most unaccepted forms of being GNC out there because you can't sexualize butchness in the same ways. Masculinity is consistently stereotyped as lazy, dirty and ugly, as well as generally aggressive and sexually predatory, and so when a woman chooses to be masculine, these worst stereotypes of masculinity are always applied to her first, and then she is ignored when she is brutalized because she has 'tainted' her 'inherent' femininity by choosing to be masculine, and people are secretly hoping that this will 'help' her to become feminine.

Even in queer spaces, butches are routinely mischaracterized and ignored. Butches are seen as jokes, they are deeply stereotyped in media to be predatory and ugly and aggressive, to the point that when a butch character is portrayed in a TV show, people get angry because they immediately assume that she is a stereotype--particularly of lesbianism--even when she is portrayed well and not at all written as a stereotype, because butch women like this can't exist in real life, because there's no way a woman would choose to be a dirty, ugly, masculine person instead of a beautiful feminine one.

'Butch' and 'masc' as terms in many especially young queer communities are so poorly understood and so poorly applied to women, who are seen as having a natural inclination to femininity by default, that women in full faces of makeup will be called 'butch' and 'masc' with absolutely zero self awareness.

And god forbid you be a transfem butch of any kind.

People absolutely hate the idea of a woman being masculine so much, that they water down these terms and refuse to understand them, they buy into the idea that being butch is a stereotype, that feminine people are inherently safer and that being masculine is more aggressive and less safe, that butches are ugly, or even that butches aren't real.

There's a lot of overlap in the ways that trans women and butches are treated in being seen as 'tainting' femininity and femaleness by having some kind of masculinity, either by choosing to be such, or being viewed as having masculinity by being assigned male at birth.

This is mostly an incredibly rambly post on something I would like to make into more of a coherent essay one day, but this is a topic I wish people would talk more about. I just can't go on for much longer because it's late at night and I'll start to get repetitive.

its literally so stupid that transfems and transmascs fight over whether they both have separate experiences because its so obvious when you look at it that no matter what kind of trans (OR intersex for that matter, or gnc, or anything) youre experiencing both misogyny and yes. transandrophobia. think about it. trans women are treated like e makes them weak and stupid, once they pass theyre talked over, if they dont do The Most Possible 2 appear feminine (god forbid yr happy w yr body or butch) ppl will NOT respect u as a woman. and yet they experience fear from others and are treated like interlopers because of their traditionally masculine traits. everyones like ewwwwww you have a penis blah blah raging hormone monster blah blah and saying you dont REALLY belong in womens spaces. and then trans men and mascs are treated like silly confused girls from what i hear. like o are u SURE u dont want boobs its PERMANENT and youre so PRETTY blahblah we have to save you from yourself and assault you so you realize yr just a lesbian. but then, and especially once/if you pass, its all "you shouldnt be in womens spaces (gynecologist, stuff thats for people w vaginas not just women) youre a threat that t will change you into a raging monster ewww u want a penis??? like we are really not that different and are both discriminated against for having traditionally masculine and feminine traits. too much and not enough of either. but in different ways which is why i think its good to have a word for common experiences that transcend agab and direction of transition, and words for things that affect specific groups of people (nonbinary people, transfems, transmascs) because its all so connected but nuanced. and lets be real stuff like race and disability and class figures into this all heavily. its complicated it cant be boiled down so much. if a word w a similar purpose sounds similar its not copying and its not the same as being an mra and also we have to both listen to eachother because literally no side is consistently doing that i think. whatever this is just a ramble we're all connected we're all different we're all beautiful transmascs and transneutral ppl are my besties my allies we should all feel safe and seen and heard together.

Liba, 20, femme LESBIAN 4 masc inclined. switch+vers. Like this post before following please <3

Formerly prettylittledyke. dm me if we were mutuals on my last acc 😊 asks and DMS encouraged! IF YOU SEE MY PHOTOS FROM MY PAST ACCT PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME!!!

DNI I am a LESBIAN!!! All men and people who aren't attracted to women don't follow. Fat fetishists/feeders and feedees, th¡nspo, bimbo, and dyke break blogs DNI DNF. This blog is porn critical so if your blog is just studio porn DNI.

KINKS consensual violence, choking, period sex, corruption, sub butch + dom femme, s/m, leather, D/s, service butches, blasphemy/hierophilia. If any of these bother you PLEASE for your own sake don't follow.

Transfem and transmasc safe but don't send asks or reply with any mentions to dicks. Here be mascs, butches and studs of ALL body types, no body shaming, racism, ableism or fatphobia.

PJO gender, sexuality, and gender presentation headcanons!

Percy, he/him: Cis, bisexual, typical masc presentation for the most part, but has had navy blue nails ever since he was bored in class one day and started scribbling on them with a blue ballpoint pen and decided he liked how it looked.

Annabeth, she/her: Also cis and bisexual, presents tomboy-femme, so like, long hair, but still prefers a suit over a dress.

Grover, he/they: Genderfluid but usually male, kinda wants to go more femme but is worried it'll look weird with his facial hair and also doesn't wanna get rid of that facial hair, pansexual (which is why they took up the pan flute in the first place, for a joke)

Jason, he/him: Cishet and hard masc ally (gay femboy in denial), he had to crossdress once for a quest and absolutely despised it, definitely didn't make him feel weird or question any certain aspects of himself, no siree bob, not this guy, nope. Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of thing, it's just not his cup of tea. And so what if he's enthusiastically, vocally supportive of other people's right to do that? It's an important social issue! So what if he gets weirdly excited when he sees his friends being androgynous and shit? He's just happy that they've found a safe space to express themselves! So what if he occasionally looks up drag shows on youtube and just watches them for hours on end, wondering what it would be like to doll himself up and get on stage, having a hundred men staring at him, captivated by him, bowing to his every whim? He just wants to learn about the community!

Piper, she/faer: Pansexual trans girl with a HEAVY lean towards girls, presents soft-butch.

Leo, he/him: Hard masc and gay trans man, hiding behind his comphet for calypso as a coping mechanism for dysphoria.

Frank, he/him: Transmasc, straight, and ace. Sort of a soft-masc, like, he's very secure in his masculinity, doesn't feel the need to put on a front.

Hazel, she/thon: Ace cishet girl, presents hyperfeminine mostly but when she found out what neopronouns were, she was fascinated by the concept and very excited to experiment with them.

Rachel, any/all (excluding it): Aromantic transfem nonbinary, presents femme because why the fuck not?

Clarisse, she/her: Queer as in fuck you. It's not your business how. (agender ursa lesbian but she's not gonna go around telling strangers that and having to have the whole 'how can you be a lesbian if you're not ~technically~ a woman' conversation, nevermind explaining what an ursa lesbian is)

Nico, he/it/xir: Gay (as is established) biblically-accurate-angel-gender, astral-gender, bone-gender, and gender-punk (but just says masc nonbinary most of the time). Androgynous to an extent, has no problem wearing makeup or even jewelry, in fact it's got quite a few piercings, but doesn't go so far as to wear dresses or skirts. Maybe heels and stockings and, ok, fine, a garter belt. When he first came out, he was kind of wrapped up in the idea of 'not being a stereotype', of being as aggressively cisnormative as possible so as not to 'give the community a bad name'. Even though he was out as gay, it didn't let itself explore the full depths of its identity for fear of 'making us look like freaks'. But after a while, and a few very deep and cathartic conversations with its friends, xe sort of realized that almost everyone at camp half-blood has been considered a freak at some point, and CHB is meant to be a safe haven for freaks like them. So he decided to lean into it more, do a little more digging, a little more exploration. Like Hazel, Nico only discovered neopronouns very recently, and again, like thon, xe wanted to try them out immediately, as well as collecting xenogenders like pokemon cards. Xir boyfriend is very supportive and happy for him.

Will, he/him: Gay demiboy, kinda masculine but not overly so. Just kind of casual and out-of-the-way, since it's not very practical to have a lot of bits and baubles on you when you're around a bunch of blood and guts. He doesn't really know how to dress himself anyway, constantly in khakis and mis-matching patterns.

Reyna, she/her: Omnisexual, demiromantic, cis girl. Generally femme presenting, but to an extreme degree.

Thalia, she/they: Aroace demigirl with queerplatonic attraction to women and women only, very androgynous. Like, right smack-dab in the middle.

If you want me to do any more, just request and I'll get to you soon!

your intersexphobia post is absolutely incredible, i just wanted to let you know you used "tim"(trans-identified male) when the derogatory term for trans men/masc people is "tif"(trans-identified female); both terms literally mirroring gendered names and just adding another layer to their weird obsessive transphobia. i hope this doesn't come off "umm akshually", like i don't wanna derail your rly important post, but i just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to correct it in case anyone wanted to research the term to keep themselves safe(sorry if this sounds rude i'm autistic and not v good socializing, plz don't take this the wrong way)

Ty for your input and the compliment but i actually intended to use tim(trans-identified-male) to show that even if your a cis gnc woman who passes as a woman, terfs are so paranoid that they assume any trans-ish gnc-ish intersex-ish looking person could be transfem. Basically if your clearly trying to be fem and you dont look like a straight woman, they assume ur trans and probably transfem. To them, feminine afab nonbinary pple and masculine amab nonbinary pple just dont fuckin exist XD they like to boast that they can clock any trans person but they CONSTANTLY false clock masculine framed and poc women and constantly miss trans women.

The way i phrased it meant to assign trans mascs the identity of "traitors to their female gender" cause thats what they get accused of (showing terfs assumeing that hypothetical cis butch lesbian is "female") while the other showing their immediate jump to semi-fem trans = transfem/trans woman(showing terfs assuming that hypothetical cis butch lesbian is "male"). Really it was all meant to show that in terfs never ending paranoia, they just assign whatever genitalia they want and insult you regardless. That even if your a gnc cis person, they are still doing what they accuse trans pple of doing, seeing a gnc person and assumeing their transgender.

There are terf comics of them complaining about being asked their pronouns just because they cut their hair short and are gnc while they do the same(except instead of asking pronouns with good intentions they just insult you for being trans) just to anyone they assume is trans. They all want their anime protagonist moment where they sexually turn a transhet boy into a cis lesbian or get to "satisfyingly" turn trans lesbians away from lesbian bars. Basically they come up with senarios to boost their egos( and trans pple get called "delusional"?) and that they can genuinely turn anyone into either a terf or a terf ally..... then they say they hate bi women and their whole allyship with transphobic bi women falls through lol they cant even stop while their ahead.

random fuckin gender ramble scroll if ur not interested in my gender bs

aaarrrggg i hate that radfem bs has caused me to still associate butch and femme with being lesbian only terms (even though i KNOW they’re not) and thus making me associate both of them with being women, even though i KNOW theyre historically not. its so hard to unlearn???

like, the overlapping lesbian/butch/transmasc history is so hard to navigate as a funky lil enby/genderqueer because a lot of terms are either too masc or too fem for me to be comfortable with, and now that im TRYING to explore exactly how my masculinity and femininity work its so weird!!!

I’m in solidarity with queer men and queer women, both trans and cis or gnc or whatever and figuring out my personal relationships with those communities is hard!!! I relate to my cis female peers as someone who’s only started socially transitioning in recent years, I relate to their issues as someone who doesn’t pass well, I relate to transmascs in terms of wanting to be seen as more masculine, in wanting to physically transition, i relate to trans mlm in terms of sexuality, i relate to lesbians/wlw in terms of sexuality too! some of the best comfort and solidarity ive found is in amab enbies and even some transfems when it comes to comfort and gender expression. the two amab demiguys i know make me feel comfortable exploring masculinity because i feel safe around them BECAUSE they’re not cis, and like, i can be ‘one of the guys’ with them without having to be A GUY, and i relate so so so hard to gnc guys or amab enbies when it comes to presentation. i almost want to transition JUST so i can reembrace femininity in a masculine way.

i dunno, i feel this insane pressure outside of the queer community to either be as masc as possible to pass and be taken seriously, and that’s gotta be at least partially due to the way radfem bs has spread, especially here in the uk.

i wanna be read as masc, i wanna be read as fem, i wanna be incomprehensible! I wanna wear men’s shirts and t shirts and polo shirts with a skirt because i can!! because skirts are fun and cute and i enjoy wearing them. i really do wish i was amab because it would be so much easier to present the way i want to, I think, but then again, i don’t have bottom dysphoria, not really.

all this changes though, really i might just be genderfluid, but i hate the binary connotations of that too. so many enby words are stolen or defined in terms of binary gender: being bigender to most means being male or female, being genderfluid means being fluid between them, being nonbinary is being not male or female, when people equate being nonbinary to being genderless it kills me because I am not binary! but i am not genderless! my gender is here and present and part of me and part of my relation with the world around me and with other people and part of my sexuality and orientation

i dunno, this is turning into a big queer rant. this isn’t me trying to shove labels onto myself, I’m fine with rejecting them if that’s what’s needed - i don’t define my sexuality any further than queer even though hypothetically i could probably id as bi or pan or any mspec label, but I choose not to because being QUEER is my orientation. perhaps my gender as well (i do id as genderqueer as well as enby) but i want to really truly understand my gender AS queer, rather than just brush it off as queer because I cannot define it to myself or understand it. i want to understand my relation to the world around me and to other queer people.

so am I butch? am I femme? maybe it changes? is that allowed to change from day to day? my gender doesn’t FEEL like it changes but that presentation does, maybe! maybe I need to try new pronouns, but using she/her like i want to is hard when i associate it with misgendering and failing to prove myself as trans enough to cis people.

i wanna be masc with women and fem with men, but the latter is hard due to fears that come from experiences with misogyny. a lot of cis men ARE scary to me - I’m an 18 year old afab for fucks sake. i wish i could have that re-embraced femininity, but I’m not flat when i bind or build masc or tall or fuckin. anything! and hormones aren’t an option yet because a lot of my mental health is too unstable, the nhs is in shambles, and I don’t have money. i can’t embrace that yet unless im in the right circles, with the right people, and i can’t be that in society, I don’t trust it. I don’t know if I wanna dress fem and have people see me as masc or fem, i don’t know what pronouns i want them to use, i dunno man!!!

i wanna reach out to older queer people but again its hard, we’re in lockdown, i don’t live somewhere with a big queer community, i’m not a fan of bars and such and there’s not any in my town so i’d have to travel a bit, i wish i could just feel at home!!! i wanna be feminine without being female but also without being male, at least not fully male! I’m not male, i have this connection to femininity and it doesn’t feel male to me, I don’t want to be included in explicitly male or explicitly female spaces, I wanna be with everyone or no one, i dunno

again, i wish butch and femme didnt feel so gendered to me personally, and that’s not just this site but also what ive grown up with, my mum used to always say i was a wannabe ‘butch lezza’ whenever i was trying to get her to take my NONBINARY identity seriously and I’m not that! not because it’s bad to be, but because that’s just not me. I’m not a wlw, I’m not even sure on my attraction to women, or to men, or to anyone, I’m just attracted to queerness, and i dunno it’s hard. being ‘butch’ to me, somewhat, still means wlw, even though it’s not true, and i hate how radfem bs has ruined the word for me. i wish i could understand my identity in terms of being butch or femme, or whatever i am, and i wish those words weren’t tainted for me in the first place. i guess all of us are just ‘failed women’ in the eyes of society, huh.

characters who are feminine, but still explicitly male, or have some relation with masculinity, or are fluid between it, or who return to masculinity as a default give me so much euphoria just to witness. I’m in desperate need of a haircut and i don’t know whether to grow it out properly again or cut it short

either way, I’m gonna dye it purple

[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )